Fame
by dreamerldv
Summary: Ashley's a famous rock star who's into drugs, sex, and rock n roll. if you have a problem with drugs, sex and rock n roll, don't read this. Last Chapter Up.
1. Sorry sweetheart but no one fucks me

**Disclaimer:**I don't own SON characters.  
**Author's Note:**My grammer is bad, sorry for the mistakes.

Their final song was coming to an end, Ashley couldn't have been happier. Her fingers were bleeding, she was soaked from head to toe in sweat and grime, and felt dead tired. She watched, with pride, as the kids in the crowd moshed, jumped, and sung along to the ending lyrics Glen, their lead singer, screamed out. Finally, it was finished, and she held up her black, white Gibson SG guitar high in the air, bowing deeply, her dark auburn hair clung to her sweat soaked skin as she stood up straight. "Thank you Boston! You guys are fucking amazing!" She spook slightly out of breath to the screaming teens.

She tossed a couple of picks out into the crowd before walking off the stage. Her personal assistant, Rachael, soon appeared at her side, handing her a hotel room key, she said "You only have 10 minutes before we head out." Ashley just nodded and entered her dressing room. The lights were off and she leaned against the door, her eyes adjusting to the darkness as she listened to the crowd screaming for encores.

Ashley Davies played lead guitar and sung back up for the band '16 candles from hell'. Her father, Raife Davies, had started the band and now managed it. He chose each of the band members and was not surprised when they soon became a big hit. He taught Ashley how to play guitar at an early age, so put her on lead guitar. He met Glen after he posted a small add in the newspaper. Glen was a great singer and played both guitar and keyboard. Glen's brother, Clay, ended up on drums and Clay had a friend, Sean, who played bass.

The exhausted 17 year old flipped the light switch on and extracted herself from her Gibson. She set the black, white guitar against a chair and strode towards the mini fridge. She grabbed herself a beer and walked out the room. She just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep, but knew that wasn't going to happen. Tonight was Aiden Dennison's birthday party. Aiden Dennison played bass and sung back up for the band, 'Suffocate me Blind', one of their touring buddies.

She exited the arena through a back door and met up with her father, band mates, and body guard, in front of a black stretch Rolls Royce limo. "You were amazing on stage." Her father remarked before opening the car door.

Ashley took a sip of beer. "I know." She muttered before stepping into the limo. The worn out auburn haired beauty took her seat and waited patiently for everyone else to do the same.

They arrived minutes later in front of the large Ritz hotel. Ashley discarded her empty Heineken bottle before entering the large 5 star hotel. She pulled out her hotel room key and headed towards the elevators. She needed a hot shower and a few lines of cocaine to get her through the night. She wasn't into the whole 'drugs, sex, and rock n roll' thing at first, but after a while it just became part of her job.

Her hand trembled lightly as she pushed the card into its slot, after waiting patiently for the small red light to turn green, she pushed the red velvet door open and stepped into the large master suite. The tired guitar player didn't even pretend to be amazed by all the nice things inside. Instead she took out her cell phone and pushed a series of numbers, bringing the small black phone to her ear, she waited patiently for Rachael to answer. "Rachael? Yeah it's me. I need a change of clothes and a line of coke brought up to my room. Okay, bye." She closed her phone and tossed it on the bed.

Ashley walked into the suite's bathroom and started to remove her grimy, smelly, rock clothes. She stood in front of the mirror and ignored the sad look in her eyes. "You look like shit." She told her reflection, before stepping into the shower. Her exhausted body felt good under the lukewarm water, and Ashley considered standing there all night. She heard the soft click of her bathroom door and knew Rachael had done what she'd ask. "Thanks Rachael." She called out over the loud shower head. She didn't hear her reply, but knew her assistant gave her one. After a few blissful minutes in the shower, the guitar player reluctantly turned off the water, and stepped out of the shower. She quickly towel dried herself, dressed, and snorted 2 straight lines of coke, before stepping out the bathroom.

Ashley closed the bathroom door and walked into the bedroom. She was surprised to see a small blonde sitting at the edge of her bed. Ashley smirked. _Just like a groupie to sneak into my bedroom while I'm showering. _The guitar player leaned casually against the open door frame, her eyes traveling up and down the blonde's body. _Shit she's hot. _

Spencer turned her head, surprised to see the famous guitar player standing at the door; she nervously hopped off the bed and quickly explained her reason for being there. "Aiden sent me to…."

Ashley chuckled deeply. "I know what he sent you to do." The aroused guitar player removed her sunglasses and openly gazed at the hot blonde in front of her.

Spencer noticed the bold examination, and the way Ashley's eyes were darkening. _Why is she looking at me like that?"_ You do? So you know about me?" She asked with a nervous swallow.

Ashley smirked. "Not yet, but we can change that." The guitarist replied, walking slowly towards the blonde.

"…Yes. Well, I wanted to meet you before going to the party." She looked down at her shoes, away from the slow approaching rock star. She could feel the heat radiating off Ashley's body the closer she got.

"I'm glad you did." She paused. "Have you 'met' the other band members yet?"

"No," Spencer admitted. "But I am looking forward to meeting them at the party."

"I'm glad you met me first then." She moved closer to the blonde, hearing Spencer's breathing quicken only further aroused the horny guitar player. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Y-yes, I've been dating him for awhile now." She looked up from her shoes and caught the hungry brown eyes staring intently at her breasts. "He might be trying to find me now, I should go." Spencer was starting to feel the all too familiar signs of arousal; _I have to get out of here._ She took two small steps in front of the auburn haired beauty, before feeling two tanned arms wrap around her waist.

Ashley pulled Spencer close, she felt her incredibly hard nipples press painfully against Spencer's back, and whimpered deep in her throat. "That's too bad." She said huskily. "Because you're all mine."

Spencer turned around in the guitar player's arms. She placed two firm hands on the rock star's chest, intent on pushing the horny teen away. _I have a boy friend, and this is going to be my new band mate! _She kept telling herself, but couldn't resist wrapping her arms around Ashley's soft looking neck. Ashley's unique scent of leather and lavender filled the small blonde's senses, making it hard for her to think clearly.

"I can't." Spencer argued weakly. She looked up into Ashley's eyes, seeing them dark with desire, she realized turning back wasn't an option. _What the hell am I thinking! _"I-I can't. Can we just stop now? "Spencer was answered by the feeling of Ashley's lips on her own. Ashley's tongue pushed through the blonde's lips demanding entry to her mouth while one calloused hand started tugging on the hem of her shirt. Ashley briefly tore her mouth away, "Off." She breathlessly ordered. Spencer willingly complied, removing both her shirt and bra. It wasn't long before she felt Ashley's mouth return to hers. The blonde whimpered when tongues slid and danced together inside her mouth. Ashley's hands slowly moved up and down the blonde's bare back, loving the feel of the soft skin under her fingers. Spencer tightened her hold on Ashley's neck, feeling the rock star's hand on her back made her knees slightly tremble.

The rock star smiled at the effect she had on the blonde. She carefully lowered Spencer down on the bed and started kissing down her neck. Ashley sucked and nipped down the blonde's throat and chest until her lips wrapped around a pink hard nipple. Spencer groaned and arched her back into Ashley's warm mouth. All thoughts of Aiden, the party, the band, and her sexual orientation continued to disappear with each flick from Ashley's tongue. Spencer continued to sigh and moan while she buried her hands in Ashley's dark auburn hair. The rock star covered Spencer's other nipple with her hand, and squeezed the hardened bud between her thumb and forefinger. "Oh god Ashley…." Spencer cried when she felt the rock star's mouth and hand repeatedly switch nipples. Spencer's moans and sighs were driving the rock star crazy. _My God, she's so fucking hot._ Ashley thought before slipping a well toned thigh between Spencer's legs, both moaning deeply.

Propping herself up on one elbow, Ashley looked down into Spencer's dark gray eyes. "What's your name." She commanded softly.

"Spencer." She breathed out.

"You're so beautiful, Spencer." The rock star held her gaze while she slipped her hand down to unbutton Spencer's jeans. "So beautiful." She murmured as she slid off Spencer's pants and underwear. Ashley returned, hovering over the blonde, She bent down and fell into Spencer's mouth kissing her passionately. She loved Spencer's mouth, it was hot and soft at the same time, plus tasted sweet. She moved her hand down and lightly stroked the golden curls between Spencer's legs. The small blonde whimpered against Ashley's mouth, urging her to continue. Ashley broke the kiss and whispered," Your so hot." as she dipped her fingers along Spencer's slick folds. The blonde clutched on to Ashley's shoulders as the rock star's fingers pressed against her aching center. "Ashley.." Spencer pleaded breathlessly.

"What is it Baby?" Ashley panted against her breast.

"Just fuck me already," She moaned, not understanding how a girl could fuck, but at this point didn't care. _She'll think of something, she's a fucking rock star. They all know how to fuck. _"Now." She added hungrily.

Ashley slid one, then a second finger into Spencer's wetness, gently sliding in out of the blonde she could feel the walls of Spencer's center closing around her touch. Spencer arched her hips off the bed as Ashley expertly plunged in and out of her. "Don't stop." She repeatedly moaned and called out Ashley's name while the rock star continued to fuck her. Ashley attacked Spencer's breast with her mouth, there was nothing loving about Ashley's touch but nothing brutal either. Ashley abandoned Spencer's breast and smiled when she heard a small whimper of protest. She nipped and sucked down Spencer's ribs, then abdomen, and finally her trembling thighs. Ashley removed her fingers and draped one of Spencer's legs over her shoulder. Spencer's sweet musky scent filled the rock star's senses, as she began licking the passion from the inside of Spencer's thighs.

Looking down, Spencer's eyes widened at the guitar player nestled between her legs. "Are you craz….OH!" Ashley dipped her tongue into Spencer's slick folds, causing the blonde's body to arch off the bed. Ashley held her steady as she continued feasting upon her drenched center. "That's feels so gooooood." Spencer moaned as she felt Ashley lick circles around her throbbing clit.

"MmmmHmmm." She moaned in agreement as she suckled the hard bud in her mouth.

Spencer clung desperately to the bed sheets as Ashley continued teasing her clit using both her teeth and tongue. Ashley took the blonde harder, thrusting her fingers frantically in and out of her, while her tongue continued its assault on her clit. Ashley's rhythm increased, driving the blonde nearer to the edge. Spencer lifted her sweat soaked body off the bed and froze, while she screamed her pleasure out. She limply fell back onto the bed with her eyes closed, and her breathing heavy. She continued to tremble with pleasure as she tried to control her frantically beating heart. She slowly opened her eyes and frowned when she saw Ashley snorting another line of cocaine. "Um, don't you want me to do something to you now?" She asked with confusion.

Ashley quickly wiped her nose and laughed. "Sorry sweetheart but no one fucks me." Ashley walked over to the night stand, ignoring the fuming blonde she grabbed her cell phone and stuck it in her pocket. Without another word she left the suite, heading towards the party, she couldn't help but wonder about the small blonde. _Why did Aiden send her to me? He knows I hate unannounced groupies. Maybe she was someone important, but what are the chances of that?_ Ashley sighed and continued

Ashley emerged from the elevator, and frowned when she heard one of her band's song playing from the party. Hearing her band's music, after playing it in concert for over two hours, is something she's never in the mood for. Ashley heard a familiar voice from behind and turned around to find Glen talking on his cell phone. She strode quietly towards the lead singer, wondering why he looked so upset.

Glen was casually leaning against one of the lobby's chairs, with a scowl on his face, as he quietly mumbled into his cell phone. "Whatever, bye." He clicked the off button on his cell and turned to face the lead guitarist. "Having fun?" He asked the tired teen. He knew Ashley hated these parties as much as he did, and only got through them with the help of drugs and alcohol. Sleep was the only thing he needed right now, and the way Ashley slightly swayed, told him she needed sleep too. Ashley just shrugged, and Glen nodded in agreement. "I hate when they play our songs." He absently stated.

Ashley's eyes closed behind dark sunglasses. She snorted. "I know, like we don't hear our music enough." She leaned against the older singer and rested her head against his shoulder. She had always had this brotherly bond with Glen. Since the day they met, 4 years ago. Glen was someone she could count on, trust, and tell things to without having to worry about being judged or criticized. "Who was on the phone?" She asked with a deep yawn.

"My father. He's embarrassed by my poor career choice." He sighed. "He wants me to go back home and get my sorry butt back in college."

"Don't do it. Finding a new singer will be a pain in the ass." She weakly mumbled.

Glen chuckled and stared at the ballroom doors, with a distant gaze. "I don't feel like going in yet. When was the last time you ate?" He asked curiously.

Ashley slowly opened her eyes and thought a moment. "If you're talking about pussy, I'd say about 2 minutes ago." She chuckled at the mean glare he gave her. "I don't know. The last time we had Taco Bell." She answered with a light shrug.

Glen's blue eyes widened at Ashley answer. "Shit Ash. That was over 4 days ago!" He exclaimed with concern. Glen wrapped his arm around Ashley's shoulders and led her towards the hotel's small café. " Ash, you have to learn to eat better Babe. I was scared to death the first time we had to rush you to the hospital, after you passed out from not eating. Believe me, having our lead guitarist lying in a hospital bed, for god knows how long, is the last thing this band needs right now."

Ashley just nodded and allowed Glen to lead her to a small table, sitting in the corner of the café, "Sit here, I'll get you something yummy to eat." He said as he pulled out one of the chairs. Ashley took the offered seat and looked around. The place wasn't overly fancy. It looked like any other coffee place, like star bucks.

Ashley could feel the effects of the coke start to take place, and couldn't tell if she was hungry or not. She didn't even feel the least bit tired, Hell she couldn't feel anything, but a wide smile was planted on her lips anyway.

"What are you so happy about?" Glen asked as he slid a half turkey sandwich to the smiling teen. The tall blonde took a seat next to Ashley and watched with a hint of sadness as she continuously tapped her tongue with her index finger.

"My thongue ish broken." She answered around the finger in her mouth. Ashley still wore the dark sunglasses, but Glen could tell without looking into her eyes she was high on something. She kept shifting in her seat and every now and then would pat different parts of her clothing, looking for a pack of cigarettes, and she wouldn't stop talking. "….So I told Pops I didn't want to go, ya know, because who really wants to watch a whole bunch of half naked chicks fondle a 100 year old man? Gross, I know right?" She took a bite of her sandwich. "That and……" She paused and looked over at Glen. "Why is it soooo fucking dark?" She asked with a child like expression, cocking her head to the side.

"Ash, you're still wearing sunglasses." Glen calmly explained before taking another bite of his own sandwich.

"Oh yeah." She continued eating her sandwich while talking about any and everything that came to mind.

The party was in full swing and the room was filled with high and drunk groupies, rodies, musicians, singers, managers, girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husbands and the birthday boy, who Ashley couldn't find. The guitarist gave up looking for Aiden and headed towards the bar. Her mouth felt dry and she needed a drink. Glen had wondered off when they first entered the ballroom, he wanted to mingle, while Ashley wanted to do some dancing, and maybe find another line of coke somewhere. Ashley reached the bar and ordered a Heineken. She turned around and leaned both her elbows on the bar. She watched with detached curiosity the people on the dance floor. The room obviously had more groupies than singers, the guitarist concluded as she watched, at least 5 groupies, dance with 1 guy from a famous band. "Here you go Ma'am." She heard the bartender say before he passed her her drink.

Ashley slowly sipped her beer, watching her friend's dance, sing, scream and play on the large stage, set up in the middle of the room. Ashley slowly bobbed her head up and down to a Avenged Sevenfold cover done by different people from different bands. She couldn't tell if they sucked or not but knew everyone else in the room was too high to give a damn, so why should she? Ashley moved her gaze around the room and stopped to look at her father. Everyone in the music biz called him Pops or Pop. He was very good looking for his age and had no problems getting groupies in his bed. _Like father like daughter. _She smirked.

She narrowed her eyes and saw Aiden, standing on Pop's right side, and a small blonde, standing on his left side. Her father had an arm draped over Spencer's shoulders as he talked animatedly to her, moving his hands, and jumping a little. Ashley couldn't tell what they were talking about, so assumed it had something to do with sex. _What else would a famous rock star, turned manager, and the birthday boy, talk to a groupie about?_ Ashley smirked against the rim of her beer. _At least I got there first. How gross is doing your father's fuck? _Ashley shuddered at the thought, and placed her beer on the bar. She walked off the bar and headed onto the dance floor. It looked more like a giant orgy than a dance floor. Tattooed, pierced rockers had girl's legs wrapped around their waists as they 'danced'. It was too dark to see anything too graphic but Ashley could tell what they were going by the way they moved, and the mental images went straight to her libido.

Ashley swayed slowly to the music as she looked around for some fun. Her gaze fell on a dancing red head that seemed to be alone. Her eyes were closed, and her arms were high above her head as she moved her hips seductively to the music. Ashley's sly grin was hidden beneath a dark shadow that covered half her face. She moved slowly across the dance floor and placed one hand on each side of the red head's hips. Ashley lightly brushed her lips against the back of the red head's neck before whispering near her ear, "Let's go dance in my bed." She offered hotly.

The red head turned to face the stranger behind her, and when she realized it was Ashley Davies, she couldn't say yes fast enough. "Lets." She answered before being dragged out of the ballroom.

Spencer stood beside Aiden, talking to her new manager. Two weeks ago, Spencer had gotten a phone call from Aiden. He told her one of the bands, he was touring with, were in need of a new bassist. Both Aiden and Spencer grew up in a small Ohio town. They were the bestest friends which means they did everything together, including taking bass guitar lessons from his older cousin. To say Spencer's mom was less than thrilled, at her daughter's new career choice, would be putting it lightly. Paula was pissed. She had Spencer reading 2nd grade level books at age 4 and even took credit for Spencer graduating high school at age 16. Now her very smart daughter would be throwing away Harvard, Yale, and Princeton for…….'16 candles from hell'.

Aiden walked off to get another beer, leaving Spencer, now known as Princess, to be left with Raife.

"So Princess you excited about yer first show?" Pops, aka Raife, asked with high enthusiasm.

"Yes sir. I can't wait to feel this rush everyone talks about before they go on stage. Must be wild." She answered with equally high enthusiasm.

"Well Princess if you want that kind of high I know where you can get the right stuff." He said with a grin.

Spencer frowned and held up her hands in refusal. "I'm sorry sir, but drugs and alcohol are just…." _Stupid, deadly, and gross. _"Not for me."

Pops snorted. "That's what they all say at first." He muttered. "But hell, if you ain't going to enjoy the drugs then I bet your going to have a blast with the groupies."

"Oh sir, even if I wasn't madly in love with Aiden, I would never……" She trailed off when she saw Ashley, and a red head, walking towards the ballroom exit. Ashley's face was free from any emotion she might have been feeling, but you could tell the red head was falling head over heels for the auburn haired beauty in front of her. _What was I saying I would never do? Didn't I already do it? _"Sleep with a stranger." She finished weakly.

Ashley watched the red head's face as she cummed all over her hand. _Okay so she wasn't as hot as the blonde. _She frowned in disappointment, then got off the bed.

"Where are you going?" the red head asked from the bed. She watched nervously as the guitarist walked towards the bedroom door, still fully clothed.

Ashley turned to face the red head. _Ah what was her name again? Carrie, Valerie, Suzie, _"Debbie it's been….fun, but I really don't want you here when I get out of the shower." The rock star continued before the opened mouth red head said anything. "No I don't want you to join me. I just want you out of my room when I finish, alright?" She asked with a no nonsense type tone.

"Fine." The red head got off the bed, "And it's Lanie you bitch." She hissed as she collected her discarded clothes off the ground.

"Whatever, it's not like I'm ever going to see you again." She called back before entering the bathroom.

_I must be really tired if this isn't doing anything for me. _Spencer looked up into Aiden's face, relieved to find his eyes closed. _Now he won't see how bored I am. _Spencer gasped, but not out of pleasure, out of surprise. _Did I really just think that? _"Agh, Aiden too much." She hissed, with a frustrated edge to her voice. Spencer kept sighing and moaning just to get Aiden to hurry up and climax, so she can sleep. _I bet that red head is having a lot more fun than I am. _She gasped in surprise again. _Dammit Ashley! Before you I had nothing to compare Aiden sex with. Now I realize he's horrible! _Aiden threw his head back and froze, moaning deep in his throat, before rolling off Spencer.

"Did you finish?" He asked between pants.

_I never began. _"Yeah, you did good, Honey." She smiled sweetly at him. _Just wasn't Ashley. _"Stop that."

"Stop what?" Aiden asked with confusion.

"Nothing." Spencer hissed back, then sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just really tired."

Aiden smiled proudly. "Well hot sex will do that to girl." He opened his arms, and beckoned Spencer to lay her head on his shoulder. Spencer did so and it wasn't long before she fell into an exhausting sleep.

Ashley groaned, _what is fucking poking me?_ Ashley slowly opened one eye and knew she was dreaming when a pair of gorgeous gray eyes stared back at her.

Spencer had opened the door to the Ashley's suite using the key Raife gave her. She was surprised to see the rock star sleeping on the couch, alone. She walked over to the couch and kneeled down in front of the sleeping teen. After softly calling her name a few times, and getting nothing, she started poking Ashley's upper arm with her finger. Spencer stopped poking Ashley and smiled warmly at the groggy rock star. "You need to get up." She started softly. "Pops says we're leaving soon."

Ashley sat up and yawned while scratching the top of her head. "Where the fuck is Rachael?" She looked around, then focused on the standing blonde in front of her. "And why did Pops send his latest fuck to wake me?" She asked herself, loud enough for Spencer to hear.

Spencer's eyes widened at the 'term of endearment'. "What did you just call me?" She asked with confusion.

Ashley stood up and walked into the bathroom. The taste in her mouth could kill anyone with a single kiss. _Agh did something die in there? _She wondered while staring at her open mouth in the bathroom mirror. _The blonde asked me something. _"Pops lastish Fucksh." She answered around the toothbrush in her mouth.

Spencer stood at the bathroom doorway, trying her best to keep eyes off Ashley's hard nipples. The rock star was wearing her night clothes which consisted of a white tank top, no bra, small boxer shorts, and bunny slippers. The room was cold and Ashley's nipples were living proof of that. "Well I'm not your father's….latest fuck."

Ashley spat out the toothpaste in her mouth and turned to face the blonde. "Alright then, who are you?" She asked in a bored tone.

Spencer paused for dramatic effect. "The new bass player."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ashley walked past Spencer, entering the living room. _Geez I've never had to say more than a handful of words to my fucks. Now I'm going to be living with one! God she must think I'm an ass. Hell, I think I'm an ass. How do you apologize for fucking someone than walking out on them without so much as a goodnight kiss?_ Ashley turned around, placing her hands on her hips, she faced Spencer. _Okay I obviously have to make this work._ "Ah fuck me." She groaned, then fell back on the couch, burying her head under one of the pillows, she prayed this was only a bad dream, and hoped she'd wake up soon and never have to see Spencer again. _Shit, they don't tell you how to deal with shit like this in 'rock star 101'._

Spencer found the awkward situation…..funny, and ended up laughing at the rock star's antics. "You wouldn't let me." She said between her laughter.

Ashley removed the pillow and glared at the blonde, "A smart mouth too? What a great catch, Pops." She retorted sarcastically.

Spencer smiled, "Actually I do have smart mouth, a very smart mouth that got accepted to Harvard, Princeton, and Yale." She responded proudly.

"Then why are you here?" Ashley stood up and started looking around for her cell phone.

"Aiden called me and asked if I wanted to play bass for one of the bands he was on tour with." Spencer stopped talking. A look of utter despair replaced her naturally cheery features. Ashley stopped looking for her phone, facing the blonde, she noticed the change in expression and assumed something was wrong. Spencer knew what the lead guitarist was going to ask next, and dreaded the answer she'd have to give the auburn haired beauty. _I just hope they weren't good friends._

"Spencer." Ashley drawled out slowly. She gradually approached the blonde, staring at her suspiciously, and stopped infront of the couch. A small coffee table separated the two. Ashley studied the blonde. Spencer's eyes were cast down, she played nervously with her fingers, and she stood tense. "How do you know Aiden?" She asked slowly.

Spencer closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her dark gray eyes met Ashley's blank stare, as she slowly opened them. _Oh boy_. "Remember when I told you I had a…." 

"Boyfriend! Aiden's your fucking boyfriend!" Ashley exclaimed coldly, ignoring the tears welling up in Spencer's eyes. "Fuck Spencer, fucking my best friend's bitch- I mean girlfriend- god I hate that word- is something I just don't fucking do." She noticed the lazy tears running down Spencer's face and madly dashed over the coffee table. She stood menacingly in front of the blonde and grabbed both Spencer's upper arms roughly, forcing the blonde to make eye contact. "Oh no, you are not having some fucking guilt trip, do you understand me?" She asked, her voice harsh as she abruptly let go of the blonde. Spencer started crying harder, making her whole body shake violently; she unconsciously moved forward and wrapped her arms around the rock star's waist, clinging desperately onto Ashley as she buried her face into the rock star's neck, sobbing uncontrollably. Ashley was angry and confused, surprised, uncomfortable and at a total loss for what to do next. The rock star stiffly brought her arms around Spencer's sobbing form, trying to comfort her; she started patting her back awkwardly. Softening her tone, she spoke, "I know you feel bad about cheating on Aiden, but telling him I fucked you would only piss him off. You don't want to piss off your boyfriend, do you?" Spencer shook her head no against Ashley's neck. "Good. So we don't tell Aiden, Pops or anyone else, okay?" Spencer just started sobbing harder.

Placing a tender kiss to the blonde crown under her nose, Ashley brought her head down to Spencer's shoulder. She started whispering comforting words near the blonde's ear, trying to calm her down, while her warm hand started caressing her back.

The guilt had been eating away at Spencer all night long. She loved Aiden to death, and couldn't imagine life without him. They had always been close, and she couldn't believe she just let Ashley take her without putting up much of a fight. Last night Aiden had found all of the small marks Ashley left over her chest and throat. She didn't say anything about them as Aiden continued undressing her. She just stayed quiet, and ignored the hurt in his eyes. Aiden didn't say anything about the marks either, but expressed all his anger into their love making last night, making the sex she had with Ashley seem perfect.

"I think he knows already. Now he thinks I'm a whore." Spencer sobbed harder as she tightened her hold on Ashley's waist. 

"You're not a whore Spencer. Nobody's perfect. We're human we make mistakes. You -we- just made a mistake." Ashley said as her hands made soothing circles on her back.

Spencer ignored everything around her, and focused solely on the warmth she felt from being in Ashley's arms. Since leaving home, she hadn't felt this safe and secure in anyone else's arms, and realized just how much she missed the secure feeling she got from being held so affectionately by someone. Burrowing deeper into Ashley's embrace, she desperately clung on to the rock star, not wanting to let her go. After being held for so long, her security turned to need. The need to calm the heat she felt frantically burning through her body as she felt Ashley's hands slide under her shirt and continued to rub the soft skin of her back. Spencer nuzzled the soft skin under her nose, and placed a soft kiss on the hollow of Ashley's throat.

Ashley froze when she felt Spencer's lips on her throat. _Oh shit, what is she doing? Wasn't she just crying about this? I shou-_ "Spencer." She moaned out, as lips pressed against the pulse point in her neck. Ashley shifted her head to the side, giving Spencer better access to her neck. Spencer lightly nipped, then sucked on the rock star's pulse point, loving the clean taste of Ashley's skin. _Ah fuck it_. Ashley moved one of her hands from the inside of Spencer's shirt and brought it up to lightly brush her knuckles along the blonde's fair soft cheek.

Spencer stopped her assault on Ashley's neck when she felt the rock star's warm knuckles tenderly caress the side of her face. She moved her head back and looked into Ashley's eyes. Ashley cupped Spencer's cheek, slightly ducking her head, she captured Spencer's lips in a searing kiss. Spencer loved the feel of Ashley's tongue exploring the warmth of her mouth as the rock star's thumb continued to lightly caress her cheek. Ashley reluctantly tore her mouth away and rested her forehead against the blonde's. Both teens were panting, trying to get much needed air into their lungs before tasting each other's swollen lips again. Ashley placed a chaste kiss on Spencer's lips before pulling the blonde's shirt over her head. Ashley's eyes never left the gray one in front of her as she unclipped Spencer's bra before removing it. As soon as Spencer's pink hard nipples were free, Ashley bent down and hungrily sucked on her breast. Closing her eyes, Spencer's head fell back as she moaned deeply while slightly arching her back, moving her breasts closer to the rock star's ravaging mouth. Ashley's teeth and tongue teased her nipples until she moved her mouth up to Spencer's lips. Their lips met in a heated passionate kiss as hands boldly wandered and tongues continued to move against each other seductively.

Ashley heard her father's voice through the thick fog of arousal that clouded her mind. She quickly sucked on Spencer's bottom lip before reluctantly tearing her mouth away from Spencer's. Ashley tried to move away from the blonde but Spencer's hands were buried too deep in her hair. Spencer whimpered in protest when Ashley tried to move away, and tried to bring the rock star's lips back to hers. "Spencer my dad is out the door." She explained between pants. Spencer's eyes widened and she quickly extracted herself from the rock star. Ashley wasted no time collecting the blonde's clothes. Spencer stood still with fear as she heard the suite's door knob rattle. Ashley ignored her own nervousness as she quickly tossed Spencer her shirt and bra. "Get in the fucking bathroom." She urgently commanded before quickly laying herself back on the couch, covering her nervous body with the blanket. Her heart was beating wildly against her chest as she fought to get her breathing under control.

The red velvet door opened and Pops walked in talking on his cell phone. "Yes we'll be in LA before noon so have the shoot ready, okay? Good. Alright I have to go, bye." Pops closed his phone and stared at the…sleeping? Figure on the couch. Ashley had the blanket up to her chin, her eyes were closed, and her chest was falling and rising too fast for her to be sleeping. "Ashley what the hell are you doing? I sent Princess up here to get you and you're not even up yet!" Pops scolded while looking around, trying to find anything odd or out of place. 

Ashley opened her eyes and sat up. She could tell her father was pissed by the way he stood in front of her, with his hands on his hips and his eyes narrowed down at her. Pops wasn't known to be patient. In fact he hated being late and doesn't tolerate tardiness, especially from his own daughter. "I was feeling sick Pops." She said as she got up. "That's what happens when you don't sleep or eat right."

Pops snarled at his daughter's sarcastic tone. "Well no ones keeping you from doing either." He retorted with his arms crossed.

Ashley ignored her father and walked into the bedroom. Rachael had left her a change of clothes earlier that morning. She groggily remembers waking up in the middle of the night, finding Rachael exiting her suite. _What would I do without her_? Ashley grabbed her clothes and left the bedroom. 

Spencer walked out of the bathroom, with her hair and clothes fixed. "Hello Sir." She greeted Pops cheerfully as she stepped into the living room.

"Princess!" Pops exclaimed before pulling the blonde into his arms, hugging her enthusiastically. "Sleep well?" He asked after they broke apart.

"Yeah, the beds here are great." She answered casually.

Ashley walked into the living room and was glad to see the blonde acting her usual self. "I'm taking a shower. I'll meet you guys in front of the limo when I finish." She reached the bathroom door, then looked over at her father before stepping in. "Send Rachael in here to find my phone." She opened the bathroom door and stepped inside, not waiting to hear her father's response.

Pops sighed and looked over at Spencer. "Come on Princess, the boys are waiting by the limo."

"Lead on Pops." Spencer replied before following the manager out to the limo.

The driver opened the limo door for the rock star. Ashley looked over at the young man and gave him a small smile. "Thank you." She said before entering the stretch Escalade. Ashley took the seat next to Clay, and looked, behind her dark sunglasses, around at everyone else. Spencer was sitting across from her, next to Glen, Rachael was sitting next to Spencer, Pops was sitting against the back windshield, and the 4 body guards sat all around them. "Driver, Airport." Pops called out from the back. The driver started the car and they started driving towards the airport.

"Here's your phone Ms. Davies." Rachael leaned forward and handed Ashley her phone.

"Thanks." She took the offered phone and started checking her messages.

"So Pops. What's on today's agenda?" Clay asked before taking a sip of his water.

Pops smiled and crossed his legs. "Well since Sean left last night, I think it's time to introduce the world to our Princess." He looked around the limo, and everyone but Ashley was listening to him. _You'd think she'd know to respect me by now_. "Ashley put the fucking phone away, take off those glasses and listen. This is important."

Ashley quickly glanced over at her father and sneered before closing her phone and removing her sunglasses. She reluctantly gave him her undivided attention. "Happy now?" She asked with crossed arms.

"Actually no, I'm not very happy with you right now. Did you even see Sean off last night?" Raife had been very upset last night, when everyone but Ashley, gave Sean their love before he walked into the limo on his way to the airport. Sean's mother was battling heart cancer so he had to leave the band to be with her.

Spencer watched the father daughter exchange with a questioning expression. She thought Pops would treat Ashley special, since she was his daughter, but it seems the other way around.

Ashley smirked. "I was busy." She answered with a sheepish shrug.

Everyone in the limo knew to stay out of Pops and Ashley's conversations. They knew Raife was a smartass and Ashley was a bigger smartass and both Davies hated smartasses. All their conversations ended with one or the other being extremely pissed off. "Too busy to say goodbye to the bass player you've played with for 4 years. She must have been fun." He snorted sarcastically.

Ashley thought a moment. "Actually she was horrible but the blonde before her, now that was fun." Ashley glanced over at Spencer and smirked at the blush she wore. 

"I don't care who you fuck Ashley but when did hos become more important than bros?" He asked with rising frustration. 

Ashley shifted in her seat and sighed heavily. "Pops. We're forgetting about this. Tell us what we have to do today." She commanded sternly.

"Don't talk to me like I'm under you, rock star." He spat out. "You wouldn't be anything without me."

Spencer was taken back by his bitter tone, and looked at everyone else in Limo, trying to see how everyone else reacts to their exchanges. Everyone had their eyes cast down at their shoes, waiting patiently for one of the Davies to forget about their egos. 

"Your right. Where would I be if you hadn't been too high to remember a fucking condom before fucking a groupie." She asked with a ghost of a smile.

Spencer couldn't believe these two were father and daughter. If she ever talked to any of her parent's like that, she would have a very sore behind by now.

"You talk so well about your mother. No wonder she practically gave you to me before signing the divorce papers. Didn't even fight for your ass."

"And how many groupies were you caught with before she filed for divorce? 5, 6? I bet you were too high to realize you were inviting them to our house instead of a hotel." She slowly shook her head no. "Some fucking rock star you are."

Pops smirked. "Look in the mirror sweet heart, we have the same reflection."

Ashley briefly looked over at Spencer, and Spencer was heartbroken at the wounded look in the rock star's eyes, that was soon covered by her sunglasses. Ashley looked back over at her father. "Only one difference, Pops. This face is on the cover of almost every teen and music magazine out there."

"Cute kid. And my face is in the rock hall of fame. Something you won't live long enough to experience." He replied arrogantly. "I'm surprised your heart's still beating with all that coke in your system."

Ashley snorted. "And I'm surprised you still have a working dick. How many STD's are you infected with? Last time I checked you had 4 different diseases."

Everyone in the limo held their breaths, wondering which one of them will give up first.

"Isn't that another thing we have in common?" 

Ashley laughed humorlessly. "I'm sorry Pops but no. I get tested every month and my latest test says I'm clean. I've only been with a blonde and red head since then. I'm pretty sure the blonde was clean, since she has a boyfriend, and I didn't do anything to red head that could infect me. See unlike you I paid attention in sex ed." Ashley shrugged.

Pops scowled at his daughter. "And how much coke did you snort before fucking the blonde?" He asked with an on coming grin.

"2 lines." She muttered her answer.

"And how many for the red head?" 

"Where's this going?" She growled.

"Well, rock star, a drug overdose would kill you before an STD will." 

Ashley grinned. "Well than I hope I die knowing I made my father proud." She retorted sarcastically.

"What father wouldn't be proud of his drug and sex addicted daughter? Hell I give you a pat on the back for being able to out do me in coke lines and still be alive to talk about it."

"God must really like my music." She shrugged.

"Speaking of music, what's on today's agenda Pops?" Glen cut in quickly.

"Well today is all about Princess." He looked over at Spencer. "I have a couple of photo shoots set up for you and we're performing on Jay Leno tonight."

Ashley's head snapped back over at Pops. "Wait Spencer's first performance is going to be on TV?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yes I have faith in Princess. She'll do fine." Pops stated confidently.

Spencer just stared down at the water bottle in her lap. Pops told her last night, she was playing today, but didn't think it'd be in front of a camera with millions of people watching. To say she was nervous would be putting it lightly.

Ashley moved her gaze over to Spencer, the blonde was unconsciously playing with the water bottle's cap, and Ashley could see the discomfort on her face. She looked back at Pops. "She'll be uncomfortable playing her first show on TV. You of all people should know nobody plays good when they're uncomfortable." She paused. "I'll play bass and you can take my part on guitar." She hopefully offered.

Pops shook his head no. "The whole reason I got us this Leno gig is to show Princess off. What will be the point if Princess doesn't play?"

"I think she'll do fine." Glen said confidently. "I've heard her play, she's good."

"Aiden sent her the music, to practice, a couple of weeks ago and She's good for having only 2 weeks of practice." Clay added.

Ashley nodded and looked back over at Spencer. "Are you okay with playing Leno?"

Spencer looked up, and nodded. "A little nervous but I'll get over it." She stated with more confidence than she had.

Ashley nodded and turned her attention to Pops. "I'm visiting Ma when we get there. I want to say hello to Ky, and then I'll meet you guys at the hotel."

"I don't think your mother's going to be too happy to see you." He said casually.

"She's never happy to see me." She snorted. "But I'll say hello anyway."

The rest of the trip went on in silence.

Ashley slowly sipped her coffee as she waited for their flight to be called. She was excited to go back to LA, she missed her little sister Kyla, who she hadn't seen in over a year. Ashley's parents divorced just weeks after she was born. 2 years later her mom remarried and had another daughter, Kyla. Ashley rarely saw Kyla, growing up. Both her parents really didn't like each other and Ashley's mom, Brenda, didn't want to have anything to do with Raife or anything associated with Raife, and that included Ashley, who dressed and acted just like her father even at an early age. It was rare to have both siblings playing or hanging out together but when they did they had a great time.

"How cool is that?" Spencer asked the daydreaming teen.

Ashley snapped out of her musing, and looked over at the sitting blonde next to her. "How cool is what?"

Spencer looked into the rock star's eyes, surprised to see an unusual softness in them. Spencer decided, she'll ask Ashley what she was thinking about, later. "That kid is wearing a '16 candles from hell' shirt." She explained while pointing to a standing teenager.

Ashley looked over to where Spencer was pointing and grinned. She looked back into the blonde's eyes. "Wanna go rock his world?" She asked with enthusiasm Spencer had never seen.

_She must love her fans. _She smiled warmly at the thought. "How do we do that?" She asked curiously.

Ashley pulled out a black sharpie, from her pocket, and stood up from her seat. She casually strode to were Glen and Clay were sitting and grabbed her guitar case. Spencer stood up and followed the rock star, watching her curiously. Ashley opened her case and motioned for Spencer to come closer. "Sign your name anywhere." She instructed before turning her attention to Glen and Clay.

Spencer finished signing her name and handed the sharpie back to Ashley. Ashley handed the sharpie to Glen, who signed his name, and Clay who signed his name. Ashley was the last to sign her name before closing the guitar case. "Now here's the fun part." She grabbed her guitar case and walked over to the teen with Glen, Clay, and Spencer following behind. The teen was excited beyond belief, when he realized who the strangers walking towards him were.

"Oh my God! Yo…You…your on my shirt! I love you guys!" He exclaimed before pulling Ashley, Glen and Clay into a hug.

"We love you too." Ashley said between a light chuckle. "And we have something for you." She handed the teen her guitar case. "It's been signed by all of us, even the new member, Spencer." Ashley draped an arm casually over Spencer's shoulders. "You have her very first autograph."

The boy looked close to tears. "Oh my god!" He pulled Spencer into an awkward hug. "She's so hot!" He said with an excited chuckle. "I can't wait to put pictures of you on my wall!"

Spencer smiled at the teen's enthusiasm. "I can't wait either." She responded cheerfully.

After a few more minutes of talking, and signing things, for the teen and other fans that recognized them, the band reluctantly broke away, when their flight had been called.

Ashley stepped into the airplane and took her seat. She didn't mind sitting next to the blonde. In fact, she kind of liked having Spencer around. She found her cheeriness refreshing.

"Do you want the window seat?" Ashley asked the approaching blonde.

Spencer didn't hesitate shaking her head no. She hated planes and looking out the window wasn't something she enjoyed. "That's okay, you can have it." She said as she took the aisle seat.

The plane soon started up and was in the sky in no time.

Ashley reclined her seat back, planning on getting some sleep. Spencer took out a book and started reading quietly. She noticed the rock star next to her shifting, lightly grunting, and sighing in her seat. Spencer was starting to get frustrated and decided to find out what was wrong with the restless teen. "What is your problem?" She asked the rock star next to her.

Ashley put her seat back to normal and sighed. "I can't sleep in these fucking chairs. Their so fucking uncomfortable." She whined.

Spencer thought a moment. "Well no one's using the third seat. Just rest your head in my lap and curl your legs. That should be more comfortable than sleeping on these chairs." She offered casually.

Ashley chewed on the inside of her mouth. She didn't know if she could do that without doing something else that shouldn't be done in public. _What the hell. _With short nod she repositioned herself, placing her head on Spencer's lap, lying on her side with her legs curled up, she felt better than she did before.

"Better?" Spencer asked the content teen.

Ashley yawned and nodded her head yes. Spencer smiled before going back to her book. After 2 hours of reading she put her book away and stared down at the sleeping teen. Ashley looked relaxed and innocent in her sleep, totally different from how she looked and acted when awake. Her breathing was slow and normal; Spencer leaned closer to the sleeping teen's mouth and could hear a very light snore. She smiled and thought it was utterly adorable. Spencer couldn't keep from touching the rock star's dark auburn hair. She carefully moved a stray lock of hair off Ashley's face. Spencer wanted so badly to touch her face. She thought back to both times they had been together and couldn't remember touching her face. Spencer gave into her urge and ran a finger over the rock star's sleeping face, lightly tracing her jaw, touching her lips, and running her fingers through her soft hair.

"Your boyfriend wouldn't like this." A voice thick from sleep stated.

Spencer moved her hand away and sighed. "Don't we have to talk about… what we did." She asked for the first time. Neither teen had bothered to bring up the awkward subject.

"What's there to talk about? I fucked you. The end." Ashley answered with a yawn.

"And this morning?" She questioned further. Not knowing what she wanted Ashley's answer to be.

Ashley sat up and rolled her neck around. "This morning I almost fucked you, the end." She answered while putting her sunglasses on.

Spencer studied her a moment. "You hide behind those things." It was more of a statement than a question.

"No." She grinned. "They make me look pretty." She joked.

Spencer rolled her eyes and leaned her head against Ashley's shoulder. "Now it's my turn to sleep." She said with a yawn.

Ashley looked out the window. "Have a good nap Spencer."

Ashley stood in front of the bathroom mirror inside the Los Angela's International Airport; the heat inside the bathroom did nothing to keep the rock star from shivering. She had just finished snorting two lines of coke and whispered to her reflection, "That's much better." Before letting her body fall uselessly to the floor. The rock star scooted back against a nearby wall and brought her knees up to her chest. Her foggy mind barely registered a bathroom stall opening.

"Oh! I'm sorry I didn't….." She trailed off when she saw the small packet of coke and razor blade, sitting by the sink next to the rock star's handbag. Spencer turned her attention to Ashley, her arms hugged her knees to her chest while her eyes hid behind a dark pair of sunglasses. She stood in front of the rock star and stared down at her, unable to comprehend what drove Ashley to coke this time. Ashley Davies had everything anyone could ever ask for but still seemed so empty. She thought sadly. "You can't keep doing this." Spencer murmured down to the high rock star, not getting a response, She walked over to the sink and picked up the rock star's drugs and razor blade; walking into a bathroom stall she flushed both down the toilet. Walking back to where Ashley remained sitting, the blonde sighed heavily and knelt down in front of her.

"Ashley we have to get go….." She stood up when she heard a man's voice, coming from out side the bathroom door.

Her heart leapt in her throat, when a serious of hard knocks followed by the sound of jingling keys met her ears. "Oh god." She whispered and smiled sweetly at the security guard that just stepped in. "Hello Mr….." She looked down at his nametag." James." She moved her eyes back up to make eye contact with the glaring man. "Can I help you with something?" She asked politely, praying the man would just leave and not see Ashley sitting behind her. _How do you explain a drugged out rock star to airport security?_

"What the hell are you teenage punk kids doing in this bathroom?" He asked menacingly while looking suspiciously at the rising form behind the blonde.

"We were just…"

"Having some fun." A low voice sounded near her ear. Spencer bit back a moan as she felt the rock star's body press up against her own.

Ashley wrapped her arms around Spencer's waist as she kept eye contact with the flustered security guard at the door. One of the rock star's hands traveled up under the blonde's shirt, cupping one of her breasts as the other traveled down between the blonde's thighs, cupping her center. "Ash," Spencer whispered with closed eyes as her arms unconsciously went up to wrap around Ashley's neck. She wanted to ask the rock star what she was doing but the question died on her lips as soon as she felt the rock star's tongue brush along her ear.

"You're so fucking hot Spencer." Ashley moaned as she started moving her hands tortuously against the two sensitive mounds she held. Spencer opened her legs further apart in response, forgetting about everything but the hands on her body.

"Ashley." Spencer pleaded as the palm on her throbbing center became more insistent.

"Hmm?" Ashley moaned as she pinched the aching nipple under her hand.

Spencer whimpered and tried again. "Ashley."

"What is it baby?" Ashley asked as she started sucking on Spencer's earlobe.

Spencer froze and suddenly became aware of everything, including the security guard, who was staring at them both hungrily. "Let go of me." She demanded quietly.

Ashley tensed. "Huh?" She asked with confusion, not expecting that for an answer.

"I said let go of me." Spencer was suddenly dead serious, remembering Ashley's earlier actions and words after asking 'What is it baby'.

With a puzzled expression, Ashley removed her hands from the blonde's body and slyly made her way over to sink. She quickly wiped away the small amount of coke that lied noticeably on the sink, before the security guard noticed. Ashley looked over at James and smirked. "Well James it's been fun but we have to go." She said smugly, not meeting Spencer's eyes as she walked out the bathroom. 

Spencer followed the rock star out of the bathroom, too ashamed to look at anything else; she kept her eyes cast down on her shoes. After a while Spencer realized Ashley had stopped walking. She looked over her shoulder, and saw Ashley leaning heavily against one of the walls. She quickly walked over to Ashley and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" She asked with concern.

Ashley looked into Spencer's blurring gray eyes and smiled. "So beautiful." She murmured before the room began to spin then everything went black.

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"Ashley, wake up please." Spencer spoke softly.

The words sounded muffled in her cloudy mind but she still knew who the voice belonged to. Ashley slowly opened her eyes and winced at the brightness in the room. After blinking a few times everything came into focus and she was met with her father's angry brown eyes. Ashley moved her gaze over to Spencer's tear stained face, and watched with a puzzled expression as more tears started to build up in her puffy gray eyes. "Where the hell am I?" She whispered and felt a warm hand cover her own. She didn't have to look to know it was Glen's.

"Calm down," He said softly. "You passed out."

Ashley covered her eyes with her forearm. "Ah fuck me." She groaned, knowing this would soon be big news on TV and magazines, like last time she passed out. "Where are my fucking sunglasses?" She demanded, hating the lighting in the room. _God I need another line. _

"Here." A soft voice responded while offering her the dark glasses.

Ashley removed her forearm and looked into Spencer's sad eyes. "Thank you." She said softly, all her anger instantly drained away at seeing the upset base player. "How long was I out?" She asked while sitting up. After Putting on her dark sunglasses, she looked around at her surroundings and realized she was lying in her bedroom bed. Pops never got a hotel room when LA. He had a really big house that easily accommodated all band and staff members, so they stayed there whenever they were in town.

"5 hours." Pops snapped back as he stood up. Ashley stared at the man with a frown. He stood in the middle of the large bed room, staring down at her with a scowl. "You're real lucky kid. If I hadn't sent Roscoe out to get you and Princess, I'm sure the media would have found you first and this band does not need that kind of publicity right now."

Ashley ignored her father and said her thanks to the large Indian body guard, who was leaning casually against the door frame. "Not a problem I'm just glad your okay." He replied back.

"What did you do exactly?" She asked curiously.

"I rushed over when I saw Princess trying to hold you up-" 

Ashley looked over at Spencer with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't want you to fall and make a scene." Spencer replied and motioned for Roscoe to continue.

Ashley nodded lightly and returned her attention to Roscoe. "When I reached you and Princess I picked you up and carried you out to the Limo." He shrugged nonchalantly.

"And no one questioned that?" She asked, wondering how someone would not question seeing a famous rock star being carried out of the airport by her huge Indian body guard.

"It looked like he was carrying a sleeping kid since Roscoe's like 7 feet tall and you're just so small." Spencer answered while taking a seat at the edge of the bed.

"Well thanks um guys but I feel better now and just want-"

"Another line." Pops stated sarcastically as he kicked over a near by waste basket. "Shit, you missed a radio show and CD signing at the mall. Don't you know how many people look up to you? How many kids have your face on their walls, computer desktops, and clothing? And you repay them how? By being too damn high to even stay conscious much less do a radio show and mall signing." He sighed heavily and watched Ashley's face show no type of emotion as usual. _Stupid kid could care less._ "Maybe I should have let you go that night." He spat out before walking out of the room. Everyone quickly followed Pops out, leaving Ashley and Spencer behind in the room.

Spencer crawled up the bed and wasted no time throwing herself into Ashley's arms. Burying her head in the crook of Ashley's neck, she started crying softly as the events of that morning continually replayed in her mind. "I thought you were dead." She whispered painfully.

"Why are you crying over me?" Ashley asked quietly while softly caressing her blonde hair. Spencer picked her head up and removed the dark sunglasses in front of her. Staring deeply into the confused brown eyes in front of her, she also saw something else in them, shame. Spencer brought her hand up and started lightly running her fingertips down her jaw and neck. _Why am I so drawn to you? One minute your so mean and stupid and the next your so sweet and caring. Is it the drugs? Or are you naturally complicated? _"You should hate me. I….I.. almost fucked you in front of a stranger in a bathroom just so I wouldn't get caught with coke." Ashley looked away and closed her eyes, wishing she still wore her sunglasses. "I used your body. I almost publicly raped you with an audience." She finished, disgusted with herself.

"That wasn't you," Spencer said softly as she caressed the side of her face and then tenderly kissed her forehead. She heard a soft whimper from Ashley and placed another kiss on her cheek. Pulling back, Spencer noticed Ashley's failure to make eye contact, and placed a tender kiss on the rock star's lips. "Just like anyone else, drugs change you, and you have very little if any control over the new person you become."

Ashley looked back into deep gray eyes and didn't see disgust, hate, or bitterness looking back at her like she expected. Instead she stared into kind caring eyes. "I want you, Spencer." Ashley breathed out softly, searching her eyes for any signs of rejection or discomfort, seeing none of either, she brought her hand to the back of Spencer's neck and slowly pulled it down towards her awaiting mouth.

Spencer stopped a hair's breath away from Ashley's face, and stared deeply into her dark brown eyes. "I want you too." She whispered the words softly.

Ashley gently pulled away from Spencer and moved off the bed. Never taking her eyes off the gray ones in front of her, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and swiftly pulled it off, randomly throwing it over her shoulder.

Spencer was speechless. She had never seen another woman's naked body before now and was finding it quite to her liking. She watched in awe as the rock star in front of her took off her bra, jeans, underwear and socks, leaving her in nothing.

Ashley let her openly gaze at her body for a while then decided it was her turn. She got back on the bed and started kissing up Spencer's denim covered legs, stopping at her zipper, she lightly nipped the skin above her jean button and unzipped then pulled off her jeans in one swift motion, followed by her bra, shirt, and panties. Ashley moved up Spencer's body and rested on her elbows, staring hungrily down at her. Spencer felt a warm rush all through her as she felt the weight, and heat of the rock star's body against her own. "Is this okay?" Ashley quietly asked the blonde under her.

_Say no, Say no, say _"Yes." Spencer breathed out._ Wrong answer. _

Ashley brought her head down and slowly kissed the warm mouth infront of her, her senses were filled with a sweet mint taste and she realized she loved the taste of winter fresh better in Spencer's mouth than her own. She trailed her mouth down Spencer's neck slowly, lightly sucking and biting the soft cream skin as she did so. Spencer ran her hands across the expanse of Ashley's back, loving the warm smooth skin she found there, she decided she liked it better than Aiden's hairy one. Their bodies shifted and both teen's cried out when they felt each other's thighs press up between their legs. Ashley's mouth went down on a rigid nipple, flicking it lightly with her tongue then sucking hard, she heard Spencer moan deeply and felt fingers digging deep into her hair as she brought one of her hands down to the other breast.

One of Spencer's hands left the soft auburn hair and slid up between their bodies, capturing a hard light brown nipple between her thumb and forefinger before pinching it lightly. Ashley buried her head in the crook of Spencer's throat and groaned before pressing her lower body into Spencer's. Spencer gasped as she felt the rock star's thigh move against her, starting a slow rocking motion with her body. Ashley's head burrowed deeper into Spencer's neck as she felt the blonde's hands move down to her bottom, pushing more of herself against her. Ashley brought one of her hands down to the blonde's free thigh and raised it up against her hip, "Ashley." Spencer moaned out her pleasure and closed her eyes, when she felt Ashley's rhythm quicken. Ashley placed her lips on the skin nearest to her mouth and started sucking hard when she felt Spencer's breast rub against her own. "Oh god Spencer." She breathed, knowing she was close to coming.

Soon both teens started desperately thrusting harder and faster against each other. "Come with Spencer." Ashley moaned against the blonde's ear. "Ashley." Spencer yelled, digging her fingers into Ashley's slightly sweaty skin, her body froze as she felt a pounding pressure explode out her body. Spencer soon felt Ashley tense against her and all movement stopped as Ashley's orgasm ripped through her body.

After getting her breathing under control, Ashley lifted her head and placed a soft kiss on the panting blonde's lips. "Hope you're not too tired." She grinned evilly. "We've only just begun." 

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"No more." Spencer pleaded between pants.

Ashley picked her head up from between Spencer's thighs, and grinned. "Oh come on we've only been at it for…." She looked over at her alarm clock. "2 hours." She looked back into tired gray eyes. "You can't be too tired." She teased as she kissed her way up Spencer's twitching body. Ashley chuckled and placed a chaste kiss on Spencer's lips.

"Look what you did, Jerk." Spencer playfully said as she held up a quivering arm.

"Want me to kiss it and make it better?" She offered with a devilish grin.

Spencer chuckled weakly. "That's how it got like this in the first place." She answered with a yawn.

Ashley placed another kiss on the blonde's lips before rolling off the bed. She staggered over to the night stand and picked up her cell phone. She sat on the side of the bed and dialed her assistant's number. "Rachael." Her assistant answered, knowing who it was already.

"It's me. What do we have scheduled for the rest of the day?" She asked while scooting back against the headboard.

Spencer moved closer to the rock star and rested her head on her bare thigh. Ashley looked down at her lap with a small smile and ran her fingers through the disheveled blonde locks sprawled across her thigh. "Okay we have to do fan signing at Leno's around 9, we start playing around 9:45, and after that Pops wants to celebrate Princesses first show. So we should be headed to Vegas around 12 or 1."

"Alright, bye." She turned off the phone and threw it off the bed, knowing it'd land safely on the carpet. She sat there a while longer, playing with Spencer's hair while watching the blonde sleep. _I don't remember the last time I let someone sleep with me after fucking. I don't remember the last time I actually took my clothes off either. I've Know you two days and I'm actually starting to like you. What gives?_ Ashley carefully extracted herself from the sleeping blonde and walked over to her closet. Grabbing the first things she saw, she continued over to her dresser, grabbing underwear, socks and bra. The rock star walked into the bathroom and placed her clothes on closed toilet seat. Turning on the shower, she quickly stepped inside and washed her body and hair.

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A newly washed and dressed Ashley quietly closed her bedroom door and started walking towards the office. She had left a small note for Spencer, telling her where she was going, so the blonde wouldn't be upset about waking up alone. She had never left anyone a note after having sex with them, and she didn't want to think about it, but couldn't help herself._ She's the bass player-Oh man she's the fucking bass player- that's why I left her a note, I want to keep things cool between us- she has a boyfriend- God, why do I always have two different conversations with myself? I mean really, don't you think one complicated Spencer thought is enough?- Since when is she complicated?- Since I can't get her off my fucking mind.- So that wasn't just a fuck was it?- I don't do anything else so yeah that was just a fuck- But you never think about anyone else after you fuck them- Well maybe she's different or something- How so?-Well I think she cares if I live or die, that's different- So what happens now?- I don't know- what do you want to happen?- I don't know- Do you not have a fucking mind?- Well if I didn't have a fucking mind I wouldn't be talking to you- Good point- Thanks- So you excited about seeing mom- God I swear your going to give me a fucking stroke or something- I hope not, that'd kill us both- Good point- Thanks- _Ashley opened her father's office door and stepped inside. Pops was sitting at his desk, quietly doing paper work. He looked up when he heard the door open. "Hey." He greeted with a frown.

"Hey." She replied back while taking a seat in front of his desk. "I'm going to see mom." She explained dryly. "I don't know how long I'll be gone. Where should I meet you?"

Pops ignored Ashley's question and pulled out a magazine from his briefcase. He pushed it across his desk and sat back, watching Ashley's face closely. Ashley took the magazine and looked at the cover. "Where did they get that picture?" She asked evenly. A big picture of Aiden and Spencer holding hands while smiling brightly at the camera was the magazine's cover. The big yellow letters above it read 'Are they the new Hilary and Joel?'.

"She's only been with us for two days but for the last 2 weeks everybody's been wondering about our new bass player. They know about her and Aiden and they love it." His eyes darkened. "You missed Spencer's photo shoots today. She's going to be on the next cover of 'Seventeen' and 'FAZE'. She also did a little interview for both of them saying how much she loves her boyfriend. The media and the rest of the world loves this couple, Ashley."

"What are you saying, Pops." She asked bluntly.

Raife said nothing as he stood up and walked around his desk. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared coldy down at Ashley. "These walls aren't sound proof." He sneered.

"I know." She said as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"You know." He repeated sarcastically. "Of course you knew but that didn't stop you from seducing Princess. Right?"

Ashley remained silent.

"That wasn't smart, she's the bass player with a boyfriend. I really don't know what to do with you two now." He grabbed a whine glass and threw at the wall before looking back at his daughter. "What do I do now?" He shouted.

Ashley stood up and walked away from his desk towards the shattered glass. "Well acting like a fucking 2 year old and breaking shit doesn't help." She answered with a small grin.

Raife sighed and took his seat again. "Well it made me feel better." He muttered.

"I really want to get going."

"You never gave me a decent answer. What are you going to do with Princess?"

"You know about me, Dad." She spat out sarcastically. "I already did what I wanted to do with Spencer. There's noth.." She swallowed around the lump in her throat. "There's nothing more going on. We fucked. The End."

He smirked. "Well I already know how you see this, that's not my problem. My problem is how she sees this. Princess isn't a groupie. She doesn't fuck rockstars for fun."

"She knows about me too." _All too well. _"She knows I fuck em then leave em. Hell I'm leaving right now." She sighed. "If you're worried about her leaving Aiden for me. Don't be. I don't want her."

He looked at her skeptically. "And she knows you don't want her?"

"Yes."

"Than I have nothing to worry about."

"Right. So can I leave now?" She asked impatiently.

"After you promise me you'll never a lay another hand on Princess again."

"I promise." She answered with crossed fingers.

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Ashley stepped out of the limo, a frown lined her lips as she stared at the large house in front of her. She hadn't lived here since she was 2, and had no childhood memories of this place. She often thought about the normal life she would have had growing up here, Instead of on a tour bus with Raife, and could never help the small smiles her thoughts would conjure when she imagined going to school, having a boyfriend, playing some sport, and just being normal. She lightly shook her head and continued up the driveway. _Quit dreaming. That never happened or will ever happen. _

Her parents divorced when she was two, and Raife gave Brenda their million dollar home straightforwardly. It was sort of a 'Sorry I cheated on you' gift. Over the years her mother had added on to the already gorgeous house. There were 2 new bedrooms, inside pool, new glass windows, and hard wood flooring. _All it needs is a dog and it'd be the perfect family home. _She reached the porch and looked around, it was November and people were already putting up their Christmas decorations. With a distant gaze, she watched a man and his daughter working on top of a roof, both laughing and smiling as they tried to nail down an inflatable Santa.

Suddenly the front door opened and she turned her head, facing the woman she hadn't seen in over a year. An unsettling feeling washed over her as the older brunette looked her over from head to toe, with a disdain expression. Frowning, she turned around, intent on getting back into the limo. "Ashley." Her mother's pleading tone stopped her.

"What?" She asked, her back still faced her mother as she waited for a response. Gazing pensively at the working father/daughter team, she couldn't help the lazy tear that made its way down her cheek.

The older brunette stared helplessly at her daughter's back. She didn't hate Ashley, she just didn't know how to deal with the rock star. Brenda was a church goer, a wonderful neighbor, a great mother, and Ashley just didn't fit in with her lifestyle or beliefs. She couldn't stand rock n roll music anymore, the thought of drug induced sex disgusted her, Raife disgusted her, and Ashley represented all that and more. She exhaled heavily before speaking. "Why don't you come inside for a drink." She offered hesitantly.

Ashley angrily wiped the tear away and turned around. "Fine." She muttered before following her mother inside.

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Spencer slowly opened her eyes, groggily sitting up, she looked around the room for the missing rock star. A small sheet of paper caught her eye, leaning over, she picked it up, and couldn't help the silly little grin that lined her lips as she read.

Your Adorable when you sleep (Sorry couldn't resist writing that.) I wish I could have stayed in bed with you, but had to visit Ma. / I'll see you soon. - Ashley Davies

P.s. Sorry I'm kind of bad at this. This is the first not I've ever written some after…you know, So I don't know what else to write.

Humming her delight as she rolled out of the rock star's bed, she opened one of the night stand's drawers and put the small note inside. After closing the drawer she yawned and ran a hand through her messy blonde hair, considering what to do next. "Okay I'll shower then….go see Pops." Spencer took a small step and groaned at the soreness she felt between her legs. "Not good." She muttered before flopping back down on the bed. "Okay I'll sleep some more, then see Pops."

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Sitting on the kitchen chair, her mother offered her, Ashley brought the ice cold Dr. Pepper to her lips and took a large swallow, the icy liquid tingled in her throat and she could feel the on coming effects of a brain freeze. "Shit." She groaned as she placed the soda can back on the table. Bringing both hands up, she began rubbing her aching temples, trying to ease the pain away.

Brenda exhaled heavily. "language." She scolded the cursing teen as she took a small sip of her coffee. The older brunette leaned casually against the kitchen sink, watching her daughter struggle with a brain freeze, she couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped her lips.

"This isn't fuc- I mean isn't funny, Brenda." She stood up and walked over to the trash can, throwing her Dr. Pepper away, she felt her brain freeze subside and sighed in relief. "I hate those." She muttered as she walked back to her seat.

"Well, Honey, that's what you get for going too fast. I always tell Kyla to be patient with her food, and she hasn't had a brain freeze in years." Brenda said as she watched her daughter place her feet on the table. "And really Ashley, do you have no table manners?" She asked with a heavy sigh.

Her laugh was short and humorless. "And who is supposed to teach me table manners? Pops?" She asked in a dry sarcastic tone. "And I rarely eat at a table anyway. Hell! I rarely eat." Placing her feet on the floor, she stood up and walked over to the kitchen window. Her back faced her mother as she gazed out into the nice neighborhood. 2 Elderly couples were walking their dogs, the father and daughter had finished nailing Santa to the roof, and she smiled softly at a little girl she saw, who was trying to shoot a basketball into a hoop that was 10x her height.

Brenda settled her gaze on her daughter's back, racking her brain for something decent to converse over. Having thought of nothing, she placed her cup under the sink faucet and started washing the small dish. After placing the cup into the dishwasher, she turned around and faced her daughter's back again. "Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?" Her voice was soft but fearful.

Ashley was taken back by her mother's fearful tone, but got over it, and wondered if she should answer honestly. The truth was she was too high to remember what she did for Thanksgiving, she did know she slept with someone, but that's about it. "It was okay." She lied with a shrug.

Brenda let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She was glad Ashley didn't spend Thanksgiving doing drugs and having sex and wished she'd spend everyday like that, sober. "I'm glad to hear that, Honey." She walked over to the gazing teen, placing a quick kiss to her daughter's temple, she stepped back and looked at her watch. "I'm sorry Ashley, I have to get going. I have a meeting in 10 minutes." She said regretfully.

Ashley's eyes never strayed from the little girl as she slowly nodded her head. "Okay." Was her quiet response as she watched the little girl angrily kick the basketball, before going inside.

"How long are you in L.A.?" She asked as she grabbed her purse from the counter.

"A few hours." She answered quietly. _This could be my final visit. I should…I don't know. What do normal people do when they say good bye to their mother's? I guess hugging would be ideal. _With that thought she turned around, and started walking slowly towards her mother. Slightly shaking, she pulled her mother into an awkward hug. Her head lightly rested on the older brunette's shoulder as she wrapped her arms around her mother's waist. The rock star faintly smiled as she felt a hint of normalcy and contentment being wrapped in her mother's arms.

Brenda was shocked, then happy that Ashley gave her a hug. They were never affectionate, and had never said the words 'I love you' to each other. The hug gave Brenda a glitter of hope that Ashley may not be the person she thinks she is. Pulling back, Brenda looked down at her daughter and smiled warmly. "Kyla should be home soon, you can wait around here for her. There's some food in the refrigerator from last night, if you're hungry, and we have a television in the Den you can watch." She looked back down at her watch and sighed. "I have to get going." She placed another kiss on her daughter's forehead and smiled when Ashley ran her balled fist across it, wiping the lipstick off like a 5 year old. Turning around, Brenda walked to the kitchen entrance, stopping, she looked over her shoulder. "And please eat more, Honey. You're far too skinny for your age and height."

"Alright Ma." Ashley mumbled before walking to the refrigerator.

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"Mmmmm." The blonde moaned as she felt someone tenderly message her back. She slowly opened her eyes, expecting to see Ashley, and bolted up when she realized it was Aiden. "What are you doing here?" She blurted out in surprise. Only wearing his boxer's, he scooted closer to his girlfriend, his deep gaze told Spencer everything. _There is no way in hell I'm having sex again! _

"Surprise." Aiden purred in a sultry tone. His blue eyes darkened as he watched Spencer sit up, revealing both creamy goods. "I'm so glad you're not wearing anything." He said huskily as he looked down at Spencer's breasts, with hungry eyes. Since entering the room, he had wanted his girlfriend, but she was sleeping. Now that she's awake, he can't wait another second to have her. Aiden leaned over, intent on taking a nearby nipple in his mouth, then froze when he felt firm hands on his shoulders, stopping him from having what he wanted. He looked into his girlfriend's sorry gray eyes.

"I can't Aiden. I don't want to be…..sore, for the Leno show." _Should have told Ashley that after my 2__rd__ orgasm. _She blushed at the thought and mentally kicked herself for it.

Aiden caught the blush and wondered what brought that on. He smiled when he figured it out. "Okay." He sighed heavily. "But I know how much you want me, Baby." He cupped her reddened cheek. "That blush on your face says more than a thousand words." He placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Soon." He whispered. Scooting to the edge of the bed, he hopped off and started putting on his clothes. Looking around, he realized for the first time, whose room they were in. "Baby, why were you sleeping naked in Ashley's bed?" He slowly asked before his blue eyes met hers. Staring keenly into deep gray eyes, he watched closely for a hint of a lie. Spencer had always been a terrible liar and her eyes expressed that well.

Spencer boldly kept her gaze locked with the suspicious blue eyes in front of her. "I was assigned this room." She simply said. "It got really hot, so I took my clothes off." _Please think I'm a dumb blonde, Please think I'm a dumb blonde, Please think I'm a dumb blonde_

Aiden chuckled and slowly shook his head no. "How did you get accepted to Yale again?"

_YES! _Spencer just shrugged. "What are you doing here again?" She asked innocently, changing the uncomfortable subject.

Aiden smiled and sat back down on the bed. "I didn't want to miss your very first show. So me and Mike came down from Vegas." Mike is the drummer for Aiden's band. He's also the band's biggest party animal. He gets along fabulously with Ashley.

Spencer smiled warmly at Aiden. "Thank you, Baby." crawling across the bed, she wrapped her arms around his broad neck and kissed his cheek. "You are a sweet man." She praised near his ear. "I love you."

He grinned. "Love you too."

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"Anyone home!" Kyla shouted, closing the front door, she dropped her school bag and faced her boyfriend.

"Hope not" Jason grinned, placing his hands on his girlfriend's waist, he captured her lips in a heated kiss. Kyla broke the kiss and grabbed her boyfriend's shirt collar.

"Mmm, let's go upstairs and,"

"Study." Ashley curtly cut in, standing at the kitchen entrance, she glared menacingly at the boy who had his hands all over her little sister.

"Ashley!" Kyla moved away from her boyfriend and threw her arms around Ashley's waist, hugging her older sister enthusiastically. "When did you get here?" She asked excitedly.

Ashley returned the hug and ignored the gaping boy in front of her. "A while ago." She answered as she pulled back.

"Oh my god! You're Ashley Davies!" Forgetting the cold glare the rock star had given him earlier, Jason also pulled Ashley into a hug. 

Ashley growled and pushed him away. "Yes I am. And this," She draped an arm over both Kyla's shoulders," Is my little sister."

Jason's face fell "Oh." he grumbled slightly embarrassed.

"Where are my manners?" Kyla pulled away from Ashley and took Jason's hand. "Ash, this is my boyfriend Jason. Jason this is Ashley."

"It's nice to meet you." He casually offered the rock star his hand.

"Charmed." Ashley snorted as she ignored the offered hand. She met Kyla's gaze. "Can I talk to you…alone?"

"Oh sure." She looked at her boyfriend. "You can go watch TV or something." She kissed her boyfriend's lips, missing Ashley's obnoxious eye roll, and waited patiently for her boyfriend to enter the other room. "So what's up?" She casually asked her older sister.

"Please tell me your still a virgin and have pledged your sex life away to abstidence." She groaned as she took her little sister's hand, leading them into the kitchen. Ashley had always looked out for her little sister. Going to the playgrounds, she'd hurt anyone who even looked at her wrong, much less lay a bullying finger on her. Now with her growing up she has a whole new problem on her hands, boyfriends.

Kyla followed Ashley to the refrigerator. She stood staring at her older sister's back, with a curious expression. "Have you pledged your sex life away to abstidence?" She playfully asked.

Ashley didn't hesitate answering. "Of course. I'm not having sex until I'm a married woman. A lot of people are doing that. If you don't do it you'll be known as the school's biggest slut." Turning her head, she met her sister's gaze. "You don't want to be known as the school's biggest slut, do you?"

"Of course not!" She exclaimed in horror. "God Ashley I didn't know." She walked dumbly over to the kitchen table, taking a seat, she fidgeted with her fingers a bit. "I'm so glad you told me." She hesitated. "I thought today we were going to…you know." She blushed furiously. "Since mom was going to be gone all day, but now I think…I think I'll be like you and pledge my sex life away." She announced proudly.

_Poor Jason._ "I'm very proud of you Kyla. And so is God." Turning her attention back to the ice box, she grabbed 2 Dr. Peppers while grinning evilly.

"Hey Babe, can I join you guys again?" Jason hollered, wanting to get to know the rock star better. He was a huge fan of '16 candles from hell' and knew all the guitar solos by heart. He wondered why Kyla never told him about her older sister.

"Yeah come on in." She answered, smiling as her sister handed her a Dr. Pepper. "Thanks."

"No problem." She took the seat next to Kyla, opening her Dr. Pepper, she couldn't help the glare she gave Jason as he entered the room.

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Spencer stepped into the large kitchen. She grinned when she saw the equally large refrigerator. "Well you have to have eat tons of food after having tons of sex." She concluded as she walked on, her gray eyes looking around, large with amazement and appreciation.

As she walked across the kitchen, she couldn't help thinking of her mother. She was always cooking, and smiling, as she did so. "I have to remember to call her." She mumbled as she opened the refrigerator door.

Spencer's ears perked up and she heard faint footsteps coming closer. Straightening up, with a groan, she closed the refrigerator door and moved away from the ice box. "Princess!" The manager exclaimed, looking cheerful.

"Pops." Spencer replied lacking his enthusiasm.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, a small shit eating grin on his face. "You look…tired." He took another step towards the blonde. Spencer shrugged.

"I'm fine, just hungry."

Pops smiled, and so did Spencer. "Well we have to get moving soon, so eat up."

"One problem. I don't know how to cook."

Pops didn't even try to hide the look of utter shock on his face. "I thought you were a farm girl?" He exclaimed with confusion. "Don't they all know how to cook?"

The smile fell from Spencer's face. She hated stereotypes. "No we ain't all be knowin to cook, Pa." She responded sarcastically. "My mother never taught me, and I never wanted to learn. I knew at an early age I wanted to become a career woman and not a housewife. It almost happened. I got accepted to Yale, Harvard, and Princeton."

Pops laughed and buried his hands in his pockets. "Oh man, I bet your mom is pissed the fuck off at your ass." He paused. "What kind of person gives up Yale for a rock band?" He asked with amusement.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

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Ashley, fed up with her sister's boyfriend, headed upstairs, in search of Kyla's guitar. She stepped into the obnoxiously pink room, reminding the rock star of a Pepto Bismol bottle, and grabbed her sister's pink acoustic guitar, that was leaning against the wall.

Her little sister, and her boyfriend, both begged her ears off for a private show. She reluctantly gave in.

Ashley stepped into the kitchen, and walked over to her earlier seat, which Jason now occupied. "My seat." She growled.

"Sorry." He yelped and quickly sat on the floor, next to the rock star's feet.

"Better be." She mumbled as she took the seat next to her sister. "Okay, so what am I playing?" She asked Kyla.

Kyla chewed on her bottom lip and looked up, obviously deep in thought. Her face lit up and she looked at Ashley. "Kelly Clarkson!" She exclaimed.

Ashley blinked in surprise, thinking her sister would choose something of hers. "Sorry Ky, I don't know any of hers." She thought a moment." Do you have her CD or something?"

Kyla nodded her head enthusiastically, hopping off her seat, she ran out the room, in search of her CD case.

Ashley looked down at the boyfriend. "You a Clarkson fan?" She asked casually.

"Um, no. But I love Kyla anyway." He smiled, obviously sucking up to the older sister.

"Great answer." She smiled back. "How do you feel about my little sister's vow to abstidence?"

The smile fell from his face. "Her what?" He croaked out.

"Here it is!" Kyla proudly held up her beloved Kelly Clarkson CD, before playing it in a small portable stereo.

Ashley listened intently to the song 'Since you've been gone'. Ignoring the lyrics, drums, and bass, she focused solely on the guitar playing in the background. When the song finished she motioned for Kyla to turn it off. Kyla did so, and sat on the floor next to her boyfriend. She took his hand and waited patiently for Ashley to begin playing.

Ashley strummed a few times, making sure the guitar was in tune, then played the first few bars of the song. It wasn't long before she lost her self in the music. She closed her eyes, replaying what she had heard from the CD, and faintly smiled when she heard both 15 year olds singing along to the acoustic guitar.

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Smiling, Spencer smacked her lips as wonderful images passed through her sleep induced mind. "Mmm." She moaned then sat up when she heard giggling. She looked around the limo, blushing, when she saw everyone gawking at her.

"Sorry." She shifted in her seat, a bit taken aback to see the strange expression on her boyfriend's face. She noticed a large drool stain on his shoulder, where her head had been resting, and blushed harder. "Sorry." She said again, but saw no change in his expression. She grabbed her boyfriend's hand, which rested on her thigh, and began caressing his long fingers. "What's wrong?" She quietly asked.

"Have a nice dream?" Her boyfriend asked, his tone faltering at the word 'dream'.

"Yeah, I did. I was dreaming about.."

"Sex?" Aiden asked, jealously clearly etched on his face.

"Well, no." She smiled. "Moms homemade apple pie." She explained with a chuckle.

"Oh." Aiden mumbled, feeling stupid. "Sorry, I guess I'm just a little paranoid." He apologized sheepishly.

"Don't be, Baby. There is absolutely nothing to worry about."

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"Ashley are you sure you have to go?" Kyla whined as she pulled Ashley into another hug.

"I'm sorry Ky, I have to play on Leno soon." She apologetically explained. "Maybe I can talk Pops into letting me stay an extra night." She pulled back, holding Kyla at arms length. "In fact, how would you like to meet the new bass player?"

Kyla's face lit up. "You mean Aiden Dennison's girlfriend?" She asked hopefully.

Ashley unconsciously flinched at the term of endearment. "Yeah." She answered softly. "Her name's Spencer, maybe we can take you and Ma out for dinner tonight."

"That'd be so awesome!" Kyla exclaimed excitedly. "Can Jason come to?"

_Oh god no. _"Um, if Ma says yes, I guess." She muttered.

"Cool! Oh Ash this is going to be so amazing. I don't remember the last time we had dinner together. Do you?"

"Um, yeah I think it was on your 13th birthday. Ma let me stay a couple of nights." She smiled fondly at the memory.

"But that was over 2 years ago." Kyla pulled Ashley into another hug. "I missed you Ash."

"I missed you too, Ky."

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Spencer's confidence slowly started to dissipate with each passing hour. Rachael and Glen arrived to help calm the blonde's nerves, reassuring the bass player everything would be fine, but that didn't help too much. Sitting in her makeup chair, sweating bullets, Spencer couldn't believe her first show was going to be on TV. Not only that, she was going to be playing on the The Tonight Show! Everyone watches The Tonight Show! _Oh god everyone's going to be watching me! On The Tonight Show! _"Are you okay Miss." The make up artist asked with concern. The nervous energy that oozed off the blonde's body was starting to make the make up artist nervous.

Spencer nodded dumbly, and stared at her reflection. _Wow I look….amazing. Maybe the people will just stare at my face and forget all about my playing. _"I'm just a little nervous." She confessed shyly. "I've never um, played in front of a large crowd, and um, I don't know if I can do it." _Especially on The Tonight Show! _

"Oh don't worry Hon. Leno's a great guy, he'll make you feel comfortable before you get on stage. He asks the silliest questions, drains the tension right out of ya." She said as she applied more blush.

"Wait, are you saying I have to do an interview with Leno?" She asked in disbelief.

The make up artist blinked in surprise. "Well you and the band."

Spencer stood from her seat. "I need some air." she said as she stalked out of the room.

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When Ashley finally emerged from the limo she found Spencer casually dressed in black lace-up boots, pink vest over a small black dress, and tight jeans. She felt her eyes widen at the sight. Her heart was racing when she noticed her tear stained face. _Oh someone's going to pay._

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She answered as she glanced up at Ashley. "I'm just being stupid."

"Bullshit."

"Fine. I'm lying. I just don't want to sound like a big baby." She confessed shyly while kicking a pebble across the concrete. "I'm just really nervous about tonight. I don't know why. I did a lot of school plays in high school without any mess ups." She paused. "I've never felt this nervous before." She chuckled kicking another pebble. Ashley walked closer and took Spencer's hand in her own. She watched a small smile form her lips. "You're going to do great Spencer." Ashley returned the smile, and brought her hand to her lips, gently kissing Spencer's upturned palm.

Spencer watched Ashley's eyes darken. "Oh no, I vowed no more sex today." She argued weakly as she found herself pressed up against the outside wall of the Tonight Show studio with Ashley's body a hair's breath away from her own.

"That wasn't very convincing." She teased as she pressed against Spencer.

"I can do better," She smiled. "But you have to take a few steps back first."

"I'll go forward." She purred as she pushed her hips in Spencer's body. "Yes, forward is good." She moaned pushing more of herself into the blonde.

"Real good." Spencer gasped as her body moved against the thigh between her legs. "Don't stop." She clutched onto Ashley's hips and thrusted her hips against her.

_SO how much sense does this make? Your practically having sex outside the building your BOYFRIEND's in with Ash-. Oh shut the hell up, I…just…need.._"Oh god." _Release….and…..I'll…. ride her fucking thigh until I get it! _

"Spen..cer..some..ones…coming." _And it's not me. _Ashley strainly whispered against her ear. The rock star groaned, and wasn't sure if it was out frustration or pleasure, but knew somewhere in her foggy mind, she had to stop. "Does Aiden fuck you like this?" She growled venomously in her ear.

Spencer froze and pushed Ashley away. Without a conscious thought, Spencer brought her hand back and slapped Ashley hard across the face, her hand stinging as she stomped away from the startled rock star.

Ashley ignored her bruising cheek, bleeding lip, and stinging jaw, and turned her head. Meeting startled blue eyes.

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Her cheek was sore, throbbing, and bruised, but Ashley didn't care. Her main concern was the position she was in now. Cradling her cheek while looking incredibly foolish in front of Glen. Who didn't look too happy to see her. She wanted to tell him to fuck off but knew opening her mouth right now would be incredibly painful and stupid. She glared at the approaching blonde instead but that didn't stop him from placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "This is why we don't get involved with band members." He removed Ashley's hand from her cheek and thoroughly examined the large purple bruise. "Now if Spencer was groupie things would be different." Ashley smirked then winced as a sudden stab of pain shot through her face. Glen wanted to be mad at the lead guitarist but couldn't. Her battered face made it completely impossible. "We should put a steak or something on that." He chuckled and took Ashley's hand in his.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "I'm not fucking handicapped you know." She said as she took her hand out of his grasp, ignoring the pain from talking. She buried both her hands in her pockets and started walking off.

Glen walked next to her. "Sorry. I was just trying to help." He explained with concern. "I'm worried about this. I know it's none of my business but still….I think you should fix things with Spencer and then leave her alone. I mean she's hot, anyone with eyes can see that, but she's not a groupie. You can't just fuck her and forget her. She lives and plays with us now, and Pops would have a fit if he found out. And then there's Aid…." Glen trailed off when he saw the way Ashley vigorously rubbed her temples. Her eyes were closed and lips formed in a sneer, obviously stressed out. "Sorry." He mumbled weakly.

"That's okay. I deserve to be tortured." She said hoping the feeling in her jaw would return soon.

"No you don't Ash. It didn't look like you two got too far." Glen offered helpfully. "Besides she has a boyfriend. I'm sure she wouldn't have let you get passed 2nd base." He said with a chuckle.

Ashley thought back to the heated moments they shared that afternoon. "You're right. I'm sure she would have stopped me from fucking her because she loves Aiden. And Aiden loves her…right?" She asked wanting to understand everything.

"Yes." Glen answered confidently. "Every time I'm around the guy, its Spencer this Spencer that, he's totally head over heels in love with her. He's even talking about marrying the girl. They'd have the cutest kids." He added with a chuckle.

A stab of guilt pierced through Ashley's heart as Glen's words hit her. "Oh my god, I'm fucking Aiden's future wife?" She gasped, disgusted with herself. She never understood marriage but knew it wasn't cool to fuck someone's wife.

"Fucking?" Glen asked with confusion. Realization finally hit him and he snapped his head over to Ashley. "You fucked her already?" He exclaimed in disbelief. "Oh my God Ashley! That's Aiden's fucking girlfriend!"

"No fucking Duh." Ashley replied sarcastically and briefly glanced over at him. "You look stupid with your mouth open like that."

Glen quickly closed his mouth. "How do you sleep at night?" He asked with a knowing smile. "Don't answer that I already know. High, naked, and with a groupie. Or……Spencer." He chuckled. "You're terrible you know that? I mean really. Do I have to worry about my girlfriend being around you?" He playfully asked.

"Oh please. I would never fuck Mother Teresa's great virgin grand daughter." She replied with a painful grin.

"Hey! That's my woman your talking about. And I love her. Even if I can't touch her until marriage." He added shyly.

Her earlier words echoed through her mind, _I'm not having sex until I'm a married woman. A lot of people are doing that. If you don't do it you'll be known as the school's biggest slut. Was I right about that? Does that mean I'm a slut? Do I care if I am?…..no. Did Glen just ask me something?_ "What was that?"

"What happened between you and Spencer?" He asked hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" She asked warily.

"How did Spencer, straight girl with boyfriend, end up sleeping with you, rock star with the tendency to fuck anything with boobs?" Glen explained in a bewilder tone. "You didn't force her anything did you? or Black mail her? I just don't think Spencer's the affair type."

"No, No, and don't judge a book by its cover."

"So why did she slap you?" Glen pushed.

"I don't know." She lied.

"Ashley, I'm really starting to like Spencer. She's a really great bass player and a super cool chick." He said with a determined tone. "You did something to make her slap you. And I don't think Spencer's a violent person. I just want to know what's bothering her, ya know? I do care about her. So spill it."

Ashley tensed at his tone. She didn't like being told what to do but wasn't in a bitch mood either. _Ah fuck it. I'll just tell him and get it over with. _"When we were by the wall, I kinda said something she didn't like too much." She ran her hand through her tousled hair and sighed. "I guess I deserved the slap, it wasn't the kindest thing to say to someone."

"I could have told you that." He responded sarcastically. "What did you say?"

Ashley shrugged. "I don't think it was that bad. I only brought up her boyfriend. It was more of a reality check more than anything. I mean in reality they fuck, and I asked if he fucked her like we were kind of doing against the wall. I was just curiou-"

"Okay, Ash. I think I get it now." Glen said with a chuckle. "Well how are you going to fix things?" He asked in all seriousness.

"I don't know." Ashley answered honestly. "Maybe it'll just blow over or something." She shrugged.

"No." Glen said firmly. "That's what I'm talking about. Spencer's not a groupie. She isn't going to forget about you hurting her feelings and move on to the next rock star. If you did hurt her Ash, you have to deal with the consequences and fix things. Apologize or something, but don't just ignore it."

Ashley thought a moment and sighed. "Do you really think she'll forgive me?"

"Of course." He answered confidently. "Spencer's not the type to hold a grudge."

She's not the type to have an affair either.

Ashley heard familiar footsteps approaching and stopped dead in her tracks, waiting patiently for Pops to round the corner. Glen stood across from her with his arms crossed casually over his chest.

"There you two ar- Oh my fucking God! What the fuck ran over your face!" Pops demanded in an angry tone. _Wait a minute. Princess asked me for a bag of ice for her wrist. Ah fuck, what'd you do this time Kid? _"You said everything was fine between you two!" He shouted with uncontrolled anger.

"It is….well was." She muttered suddenly feeling like a kid who just got caught big time with her hands down the cookie jar.

"Relax." Glen urged the fuming man. "They just had a little spat, that's all."

"Really?" Pops questioned suspiciously, while making eye contact with Ashley.

"Yeah, really." Ashley reassured him boldly. "After I apologize everything will be cool again." She shrugged.

"So your saying my sweet little Princess slapped you for something that can easily be fixed with an apology?" He crossed his arms over his chest and eyed his daughter.

"Everything will be fine, Pops." Ashley answered assertively. "You don't have to worry about scandals or stupid rumors coming from this. I promise."

"Fine Ashley. But if you break this promise, your out, and I mean it. There are thousands of other great guitar players out there that can easily replace you."

Ashley just nodded solemnly and the three strolled back into the studio.

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Ashley stood in the middle of the second stage looking out at all the empty seats in front of her. This was the band's 3rd time on Leno and Ashley couldn't have been more comfortable on the familiar stage. She looked over at Spencer, who stood at the other end of the stage, and sighed. She hadn't said anything to her yet and dreaded the idea of having to apologize to the small blonde. _I'll do it after sound check. _She decided and picked up her black Gibson explorer. She slipped the guitar strap across her shoulder and pulled out a pick from her mic stand. Without another word or thought she started playing. Starting off with a short guitar solo and then playing two songs with the rest of the band. They were usually silly during sound checks but decided to be serious this time, since it was Spencer's first sound check they wanted it to be comfortable and relaxing instead of crazy and obnoxious.

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Spencer walked on the second stage and felt her anxiety enhance slightly. She didn't realize how big the room was until now. There were A LOT of empty seats and she knew all of them were soon going to be filled with Leno fans, and dreaded the idea of having to play in front of so many people. She timidly walked over to her 4 string ebony Gibson sb bass guitar and slung it over her shoulder. She heard loud footsteps from behind and turned her head. Her gray eyes briefly met Ashley's brown, before the rock star casted her eyes down and continued walking across the stage. She was glad to see the slap didn't do anything more than split her lip. With a heavy sigh, she turned back around and pulled out a pick from her mic stand. She had spent the last two weeks learning and practicing the band's music at home. She was pretty sure she knew most of the band's songs by now but still felt a little unsure of her self. She looked over at Glen and smiled when he gave her two thumbs up before pulling out his own guitar pick. It wasn't long before the sound of Ashley's guitar filled the large room. Spencer turned her head and was amazed at how fast Ashley's hands moved across the black guitar. Soon Clay started playing followed by Glen and finally Spencer, after she recognized the song they were playing. Her own hands moved expertly across the red bass guitar and she couldn't help the small smiles that lined her lips at hearing Ashley's low back up voice blare from the speakers. She realized Ashley had an amazing singing voice that sounded great behind Glen's occasional scream. The second song came to an end and Glen and Spencer started taking off their guitars.

Glen put his guitar back on its stand and turned to Spencer. "You were amazing Spencer." He exclaimed proudly as he draped an arm over both her shoulders. "I knew those hands could do more than make Ashley look like road kill." He teased, assuming both girls had made up by now.

"Road kill?" Spencer looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Ashley tensed, having overheard the conversation, and started playing the opening chords for guns n roses _Welcome to the Jungle, _trying to work off some nervous energy. Amy, the make up artist, had applied make up on the rock star's cheek, making the bruise unnoticeable, but Ashley still didn't want Spencer to know about it. She stopped playing and faced the two blondes. "He doesn't mean anything." She said in a low dangerous voice, just wanting Spencer to forget it.

Spencer wasn't convinced. She turned her head, gray eyes locking onto pleading brown ones. She ignored them. "No, I want to know what he meant by road kill." She insisted stubbornly.

Glen removed his arm from the blonde's shoulders and stepped back, looking highly uncomfortable. "Um, me and Clay have something to do." He explained lamely before motioning at Clay to leave.

Ashley extracted herself from her guitar and silently brushed pass Spencer to put it on its stand. She faced Spencer and casually leaned against the large speaker behind her. "You're a great bass player." She said softly.

Spencer unconsciously took a step closer to the rock star. "Thank you, but it's nothing compared to what you do." She replied with a light blush. "Anyway, what did he mean by road kill?" She asked quietly.

"Um, he was referring to my bruised cheek." She explained hesitantly. "Amy covered it with makeup, and I –"Ashley stopped when she felt Spencer's hand begin to softly caress her bruised cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into the caress.

"Does it hurt?" Spencer asked huskily, her warm breath grazing Ashley's cheek as she leaned closer.

A small smile lined Ashley's lips. "Not anymore."

"I'm so sorry." Spencer whispered before placing her lips on the battered cheek, softly kissing the skin she found there. Ashley opened her eyes and watched with a smoky gaze as Spencer slightly leaned back before placing another kiss on the corner of her mouth. Ashley barely stopped her hands from reaching out to pull Spencer closer, knowing having sex on the leno stage was a bad idea. _Is apologizing always this fun?_ Ashley placed a chaste kiss on Spencer's lips and moved arms length away from the flustered blonde. "I forgive you." She smiled at the blonde's puzzled expression. "But if you want to continue this…..conversation, we might have to do it elsewhere." She explained sheepishly.

Spencer blushed furiously and began to look around. "Oh god Ash." She groaned before burying her head in her hands. _Oh god that was close. What the hell is wrong with me? I can't even apologize to her without it turning into a make out session. I should be doing all this stuff with Aiden. _Spencer groaned again. _You do remember him don't you? Tall, dark hair, broad shoulders. Probably looking for you now. _"Next time I'm using a hallmark card to apologize." She said as she picked her head up.

"With lots of dirty words?" Ashley asked hopefully as she walked across the stage.

"Nope. But maybe if I'm REALLY sorry I'll add a dirty picture." She teased.

"Well then I'm just going to have to make you slap me more often." Ashley grinned." A picture of you naked is definitely worth the pain." She countered as she stuck her guitar pick back in the mic stand.

Spencer looked away and blushed. "yeah well…." She muttered.

Ashley stuck her hands in her pockets and casually strolled over to Spencer. "Oh don't be shy, I've seen you naked before." She paused. "Seen, tasted, touched, pinc-"

"I know, I was sort of there." She cut in quickly, embarrassed by the conversation.

Ashley playfully rolled her eyes and sighed, sensing her band mate's discomfort. "Anyway I have to get to wardrobe." She said as she pulled out her cell phone.

Spencer nodded unconsciously. "Yeah, I should probably find Aiden." She said blankly as if it were nothing.

Ashley didn't know if she should be angry or relieved that Spencer didn't find what they were doing wrong. She nodded slowly and slipped her sunglasses on. "I'll see you around, Princess." She spat out venomously.

Spencer was taken aback by the rock star's cold tone and the fact that she called her 'Princess'. "Um, yeah. See you around too." She muttered as she watched Ashley walk off the stage.

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Ashley walked out the main studio door and froze when she saw Aiden coming her way.

"Ashley!" He shouted excitedly while jogging to catch up with her.

"Aiden!" She shouted back with a bright smile. "How the hell are ya?" She asked as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm great." He pulled back and held her at arms length. "You look great." He said with an equally bright smile.

Ashley chuckled nervously. "Thanks, um, so do you."

He looked at her skeptically. "Is everything alright you seem….edgy."

Ashley vigorously shook her head no. "Everything's fine, nothing to worry about."

"Well good." He shifted a little and draped an arm over both her shoulders. "So, what do you think of Spencer?" He asked giddily.

"She's a great bass player." Ashley shrugged.

A moment of silence passed between the two before Aiden spoke. "That's all you have to say about her?" He asked with disappoint evident in his tone.

Ashley blinked in surprise. "Um, what else do you want me to say?"

He removed his arm from her shoulders and stuffed them in his pockets. "Well, Ash. I sort of see you as, well you know, family." He started off shyly. "Like a sister or something." He glanced over at Ashley and frowned when he noticed her blank expression. _I guess she doesn't feel the same. Hell she never even wished me a happy birthday! Of course she doesn't feel the same. Ashley Davies only cares about herself. _He sighed heavily. "I'm just going to shut up now." He said in a defeated tone.

Ashley snapped her head in his direction. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, just spit it out already."

He looked over at her. "I just said you were like family to me and you didn't even smile or anything."

"Oh." Was all Ashley could muster up to say.

"Its okay if you don't feel the same." He muttered while kicking a nearby pebble.

Ashley hesitantly took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "I do feel the same." She said with a hint of embarrassment. She hated mushy moments. "I, um, see you as family too. Like a brother or something."

Aiden smiled and draped an arm over her shoulders again. "Well good. Now as I was saying. Little sister, what you think about Spencer means a lot to me."

Ashley nodded her head slowly. "She's great Aiden. Funny, good looking, smart – although I'll never understand why she gave up yale for a rock band- sweet," Ashley blushed when she remembered how sweet the blonde's mouth tasted.

Aiden looked over at her and raised an eyebrow when he noticed her blush. "Um, Ashley."

Ashley snapped out of her musing and looked over at him. "Yeah?"

"I've never seen you blush before." He said with a small smile. "What brought that on?"

"I was just thinking about some groupie I fucked this afternoon." She answered with an evil grin.

He chuckled. "She must have been fun."

Ashley shrugged and took out her cell phone. "I have to get going." She said with relief. _Talking to Aiden about sex with Spencer is defiantly not cool. _

"Alright then. See you after the show."

"Maybe." She muttered as she headed towards her dressing room.

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30 minutes after leaving Aiden, Ashley returned to her dressing room and began taking her clothes off. Just as she was about to undo her belt buckle her cell phone rang. Ashley immediately recognized the ring and ran across the room shirtless. She walked up to the vanity table and rummaged through her hand bag, in search of her cell. "Hey Ky, what's up?" She asked with a big smile. A soft knock sounded at the door, "Hold up. Come in," She called out before muttering an apology on the phone.

Spencer slowly opened the door and blushed when she realized Ashley was shirtless. "I'll come back later." She blurted out before stepping back.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Spencer, come back here." She commanded with a small chuckle.

Spencer sheepishly stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She walked over to the couch, sitting in the middle of the room, and took a seat, waiting patiently for Ashley to finish.

"Are we still hanging out tonight after the show?" Kyla asked hopefully.

Ashley's face lit up at the thought of hanging out with her little sister. "That's a definite yes. I'll be on my way the second the show ends."

Amused by the rock star's enthusiastic tone, Spencer curiously turned her head and watched with a hint of jealousy as Ashley spoke so animatedly to the girl on the other line.

"Cool! Is Spencer coming? Oh and can Aiden come too? I can't wait to meet them, almost everyone at school talks about them! Do you think they'll take a picture with me?"

Ashley shifted from one foot to the other. "Um, I haven't really talked to them yet." She moved her gaze over to the small blonde sitting on the couch. "Hold on, I'll ask right now." She covered her cell phone's mouth piece and asked, "Do you want to hangout with me and my little sister, maybe my mom, tonight after the show? I'm going to invite Aiden too." She added quietly.

Spencer was caught off guard by the rock star's offer, and felt stupid for feeling so jealous. _It's just her sister calm down. _"Sure, I'll go. But Aiden left to the airport a few minutes ago. There's a problem with his band and he needed to be in Vegas, ASAP."

Ashley nodded slowly and removed her hand from the cell phone's mouthpiece. "Spencer's hanging out with us but Aiden can't make it." She explained apologetically.

"Oh, well do you think Spencer will take a picture with me?" She asked hopefully.

"Of course she will. Spencer loves taking pictures." She said while smiling over at Spencer.

"This is going to be so cool! Maybe mom will let you stay the night and we can have breakfast in the morning or go shopping. Does Spencer like to shop?"

Ashley's smile faded and her eyes began to fill with tears. With a sad gaze, Spencer watched Ashley's heart break in front of her. "She likes to shop." She said quietly. "I have to get ready Ky. I'll see you soon."

"Alright." She said with a heavy sigh. "Bye Ash."

"Bye Ky." Ashley closed her phone, turning around; she placed it on the vanity table. "She's going to hate me by the end of the night." She muttered before turning back around.

"Why is that?" Spencer asked softly.

"You'll see soon enough." Ashley looked back at Spencer. "Did you need something?"

Spencer stood up from the couch and stuck her hands in her back pockets. "Amy wanted to see you after you dressed." She explained while walking backwards towards the door. "I'll let you change and you can go see her."

Ashley watched Spencer's hand reached out for the door knob. "Wait. Spencer?" She asked in a small voice.

Spencer pulled her hand back and quizzically looked over at Ashley. She had never heard the bold rock star sound so shy. "Yeah?" She asked as she watched Ashley deal with some sort of internal struggle.

Ashley didn't know what to say to Spencer. She knew it wasn't right for her to snap at Spencer earlier on the stage but didn't know the best way to apologize. She thought saying 'I'm sorry' was really lame but didn't know what else to do. Apologizing was something new for the 17 year old guitarist. Being the daughter of a famous rock star, and being a rock star herself, made apologizing absolutely unnecessary. She assumed everything she did or say was right, even if it wasn't, and she never felt guilty for hurting anyone's feelings, until now. Ashley chewed on her bottom lip and walked over towards the couch. She stopped in front of the leather sofa and sigh heavily, feeling uncharacteristically nervous. "I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier." She looked down at her shoes. "I don't think I had the right to do so." She said with a touch of sadness.

Stealthily, Spencer closed the distance between them and pulled Ashley into a forgiving hug, nuzzling her chin against her bare shoulder. Ashley shivered slightly when she felt the blonde's cold jewelry press up against her exposed skin and pulled back. "I'm so sor-"

Spencer cut her off. "You didn't do anything wrong."

Ashley didn't look convinced.

"I think I have Spencer. I just - just-"_Don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore. _

"It's okay." She softly kissed her forehead and cheeks. "I'm the one who should be sorry." She paused seeing the rock star's pained expression. "This is so wrong." She gasped out with tears welling up in her eyes. "Maybe I should- but I don't want- but I-"

"It's okay." Ashley reassured by quickly pressing her lips to Spencer's. "Everything's fine." She whispered hopefully.

Spencer nodded and recaptured the rock star's lips. Ashley could feel Spencer's breaths grow husky as their kiss deepened. She broke it off and reluctantly moved away from Spencer. "I have to get ready." She explained as her lips still tingled from their intense lip lock.

Spencer blinked hard and fought to control her breathing. "Um, Okay." She started moving back towards the door. "Don't forget to see Amy when you finish." She said as she grabbed the doorknob.

"I won't." Ashley smiled. "See you back stage."

Spencer smiled back before slipping out of the room.

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Ashley sat in one of the many chairs lined up against the wall, waiting patiently to be called out on stage while aimlessly strumming the acoustic guitar in her hands. Her ears perked up when she heard a familiar laugh. Turning her head, Ashley's gaze fell upon a tall man who stood between two other people with a gold plate in his hands. She thought hard, trying to remember his name, and smiled when she finally got it. Chris. She had seen him before at their shows but never bothered to meet the guy. Everyone knew him as the guy to go to when in desperate need of a fix. She watched, mesmerized, as he pulled out a quarter sized ball of cocaine out from his pocket and placed it on the gold plate. With a razor blade, he proceeded to cut the small ball up into several little lines before handing it over to the woman next to him. The back stage room was packed, but nobody cared if there were any drugs around. Everybody in the room knew drugs were just something to get use to when working in the entertainment business.

Spencer leaned against the wall, watching Ashley's demeanor with concern and confusion. The rock star's eyes were fixed obsessively on the gold plate and her hands were starting to tremble uncontrollably. She wanted a line, she needed a line and Spencer could see the determination etched plainly over her features. She was going to have a line. Spencer watched with a hint of panic as Ashley began to rise from her seat. She looked as though she was in a trance. Her face now held no expression at all, except for her eyes, which expressed nothing less of utter yearn.

Without hesitation, Spencer called out Ashley's name.

Ashley froze mid step and whimpered softly, out of frustration, before looking over at Spencer. She bit down on her bottom lip and started fidgeting with her fingers as desperate brown eyes locked onto Spencer's worried filled gaze. "What is it Spencer?" She spoke more sharply than she meant to but at this point didn't care. She needed her fix and nothing was going to keep her from it.

Spencer felt a knot form in her stomach and lump in her throat as she kept her eyes locked with Ashley's. Her dark eyes bore into hers with an icy cold stare that made Spencer feel a little less sure of herself. "Um, I wanted to ask you something." She explained lamely. _If looks could kill, I wouldn't be thinking this right now. _

Ashley's legs had a life of their own. They started walking slowly towards Spencer and stopped a hair's breath away from her. "Yes?" She asked in a strained voice.

Spencer stared at the stranger that was Ashley as they stood eye to eye, nose to nose and couldn't believe this was still the same person. She could feel the anger radiating off Ashley in waves and felt scared speechless. She broke their uncomfortable gaze and looked down, missing Ashley's victory smile as she began to move away. Ashley took a step back, not wanting to waste anymore time, and growled when she felt Spencer's hands on her own. She closed the small distance between them and pressed her body firmly against Spencer's. Leaning down she murmured softly in Spencer's ear. "I'll give you anything you want Spencer. Just let me go." Spencer felt her pulse quicken when Ashley's lips brushed across her lobe.

Spencer ignored her body's reactions to Ashley's touch and began to caress the hands in her grasp. She felt Ashley tense and pull back. She looked into Ashley's eyes and saw them soften a little. "Don't do it Ashley." She pleaded softly.

Ashley frowned and narrowed her eyes. "I'm not your boyfriend, Spencer. I don't have to listen to you." She sneered.

Spencer stiffened at the change in Ashley's tone and expression. She couldn't bear to see the talented musician, her friend, act so violently over a line of cocaine. She swallowed hard and trailed her hand up the rock star's upper body. She cupped Ashley's bruised cheek and felt Ashley slightly relax. Ashley slowly closed her eyes and nuzzled her cheek against Spencer's hand. Spencer leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on Ashley's lips.

Ashley senses were on overdrive. She wanted the coke, she needed the coke but she also wanted Spencer. She savored the blonde's sweet lips and began to move hers against them. The kiss was gentle and calming but she was still torn between what she wanted and what she needed. She broke the kiss and buried her face in the nape of Spencer's neck. Her hands clutched desperately onto the blonde's shirt. "I want it so fucking bad." She groaned against the soft skin of Spencer's neck, fighting to control the tremor that ran through her body as an overwhelming feeling of hunger and pain threatened to consume her. She could feel herself start to tremble against the soft body that held her as hot tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. Ashley wanted nothing more than to end her misery by giving into her urge and snorting a line of cocaine but felt powerless to push Spencer away. "Spencer," she choked out as her breaths came in short pants.

"I'm here Ash. I'm here." Spencer softly cooed, her voice breaking from hearing the rock star's pain. "I'll always be here for you."

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Raife stood in the corner of the room and watched Ashley pull Spencer into an intimate embrace, feeling highly uncomfortable. Ashley's hands were holding onto the fabric on Spencer's waist while her head was buried against her neck. Spencer was running her hands up and down the expanse of Ashley's back while murmuring softly in her ear. Pops looked around the room, making sure nobody had a camera out. He knew with Ashley's popularity and Spencer's rising fame, a picture with them embracing so intimately could easily be sold to a magazine company for thousands of dollars and the rumors that would follow wouldn't be very beneficial to the band's rep. With a heavy sigh, he looked back at the two and prayed Spencer wasn't feeling anything more than pity for his daughter.

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"'16 candles from hell' take your place on the stage!" The stage manager shouted.

Both Glen and Clay immediately stood up from their seats and headed towards the second stage.

"We have to get going." Spencer whispered softly near Ashley's ear.

Ashley pulled back feeling trapped. Her eyes darted around wildly and her body still trembled. She unconsciously sniffled and couldn't stop playing with her hands. "Can you play like this?" Spencer asked, concerned by the rock star's behavior.

Ashley just nodded and smiled nervously before turning around. She walked timidly onto the second stage and couldn't make out anything in the darkness. The stage wasn't too big but it wasn't small either, making it hard for her to find her spot. When she finally reached her guitar she wasted no time slipping the guitar strap over her shoulder. Her demeanor instantly changed when feeling the familiar weight of her guitar attached to her. All thoughts of drugs, Spencer, and her anxiety drained away at the rush she got from being on stage. She watched in a slight daze as Leno introduced them. The crowd cheered wildly at hearing the band's name and the stage came to life as the lights came on. Ashley grinned almost evilly as she felt the adrenaline surge through her body. She quickly took a pick out of the mic stand and started the song off with a quick solo. They were playing their latest hit 'Hold On' that they remade at her father's request. The song still had the same lyrics but Glen screamed the chorus and the guitar play was heavier. Almost everyone in the crowd knew the song, since it constantly played on the radio and was a big hit in the 80's, Ashley couldn't help but feel proud of her father. He had written every part of the song himself and even wrote the new version Glen was singing.

Spencer smiled brightly at the singing fans and started singing along with them. Her mother loved Raife's band and constantly played this song when she cooked or cleaned. Spencer knew her mother would be watching them tonight and chuckled when she pictured the scowl she'd be wearing. Paula wasn't a very big fan of the rock music they played or her career move but Spencer knew her mother still loved her. Paula had always been excepting of Spencer's life choices, even if she hated them, and Spencer couldn't have wished for a better mom. The camera man in front of her brought her out of her musing and she lightly blushed before moving away from him. She looked over at Ashley and stared admirably at how fast her hands moved across the black guitar. It still blew her mind how well Ashley played. _I bet she could play in her sleep. Or even dead. _She looked down at her own hands and smiled at her self. She had never played in front of a real audience before and had always dreaded the idea of it, until now. Now, she couldn't wait until their next show. She loved how incredible it felt being on stage and could picture herself doing it for the rest of her life.

Spencer stopped playing, along with the rest of the band, and looked over at Ashley. The room went dead silent as everyone watched Ashley. Her eyes were closed and she now held an acoustic guitar. She strummed the end of the song softly and opened her eyes. Her beautiful voice filled the room as she sung the ending lyrics.

"You spend your life searching

Awaiting in line

I know your holding on to what you can't find

When the light is fading

And it's hard to see

I hope you know your still apart of me"

The song ended and Ashley turned her head. Her brown eyes met Spencer's dreamy gaze and both felt a strange indescribable connection pass between them. Ashley shook her head lightly and turned her attention to the man in front of her. "You guys are so amazing, thanks for playing." Jay said as he shook Ashley's hand. He turned his attention back to the cheering audience. "And when we come back, we're going to have a chat with these guys. Don't go away."

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The tonight show interview went by smoothly. Most of Jay's questions revolved around Spencer and the band's current tour with plenty of laughs in between. Ashley sat quietly throughout most of the 7 minute interview and smiled every time Jay cracked a silly joke or did something outrageously funny. A silent sigh of relief escaped her lips when the entertainer announced the end of the show. Ashley's mind was reeling as she struggled to control her quivering hands. She found the task a bit easier with Spencer sitting next to her but still felt uncomfortable being on stage with her cocaine cravings chewing at her. Ashley stood from her seat and wasted no time walking back stage. She had to find Pops or Rachael to inform them of her plans. She hated having to report to them before going anywhere but did so anyway. As much as she hated her father, she hated his temper even more and tried her best to keep him satisfied, even if it outlaid her own satisfaction. _You're his fucking dog not daughter. _She thought bitterly as she looked around for her over-tempered manager. She debated telling him or not telling him about Spencer joining her _Maybe he won't care that I slept with our bass player and want to take her out to meet my sister and mom. Not a big deal and it doesn't change anything between us. Spencer's still some chick I fucked in a Ritz hotel room and I'm still a rock star who wants nothing more than a one night stand. - Then why are you taking her with you? You haven't even introduced Glen or Clay to them yet and you've known them for years. - So? – So you claim Spencer's just some fuck but you're treating her like..like….something more. Holding her when she's upset, letting her hold you when you're upset, kisses, hugs, and now you want to take her to meet the two most important people in your life? How many other fucks have you brought home to Mommy? _This was gnawing at Ashley. She didn't like any of this, having no experience with anything passed sex, she didn't know what she was feeling for the gray- eyed blonde. She knew Spencer wasn't her girlfriend and also knew she loved Aiden but didn't know why they were having this affair. _I wonder what Aiden's going to think of his 'Little Sister' when he finds out she's fucking his girlfriend. _With a heavy sigh, she turned around and started walking back towards the stage. _Whatever happens, happens. Let's just leave at that. _Ashley slightly relaxed, feeling more in control, and continued looking for Pops.

A small giggle got her attention and she turned her head. Her father had a tall blonde pinned up against the wall, his face buried in her neck as he whispered obscenities in her ear. Only a dark shadow covered the two as they continued to fondle each other. Ashley rolled her eyes before walking over to them. "HmmHmm" She obnoxiously cleared her throat.

Pops pulled his head up from the giggling blonde's neck and looked over at his daughter. His hair was slightly disheveled and his breaths came in short pants. "What do you want?" He asked impatiently.

Ashley snorted and turned her gaze over to the groupie, her brown eyes staring nastily into the blue- gray ones in front of her. "A little brother." She smiled at the blonde's stricken expression and looked away. "I'm going out." She said while making eye contact with Raife.

"Where?" Pops asked as he stepped away from the protesting blonde.

"Ma's house. I might bring Spencer with me." She added nonchalantly.

Raife didn't know what to think of Ashley's decision to bring Spencer along with her. He knew Ashley loved Brenda, despite them not being close, and Ashley's relationship with Kyla meant a lot to her, but what confused him the most was Ashley's decision to bring someone home with her now. "Why are you bringing Spencer, Ashley?" He asked seriously.

"Because I want to." She responded flatly, the honesty in her words shocking even herself as they began to register in her mind. She wanted Spencer to meet her 'family', she realized with a puzzled expression.

Raife was wide eyed at his daughter's response. She never introduced Clay, Glen, or Sean to Kyla and Brenda, even after knowing them for years, and now she decides to bring someone to meet them, someone she's known for 2 days, and it's because she wants to? _There's something wrong here. _"You want to take Spencer to meet your mother and sister?" Ashley nodded dumbly, confused by her own answer. _Really wrong. _He thought with a frown. "Fine." He answered having no other choice.

Ashley blinked hard, surprised by his simple answer. She pictured this conversation ending with a heated argument. _hell I'm not gonna complain. _She thought with a small smile. "Okay, when do we need to be back?" She asked in an all business tone.

"You have an hour. Hour and a half at the most." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Meet us back at the house, we should have the tour bus ready by then and from there we're off to Vegas." He paused. "Well you guys are off to Vegas. I'm flying to Vegas a little later. I have to finish up some business here before I leave."

"Is she the business?" She nodded towards the groupie.

"Does it matter?" Raife responded with a smile, seemingly relaxed.

Ashley grinned and wrapped her arm around the blonde's waist. "Not at all Pops." She looked up into the blushing woman's face. "I want a new step mom." She looked back at her father. "And I get everything I want, right Daddy?" She added with taunting smile.

The blonde looked between the two and pushed away from Ashley. "I'm sorry but I'm not ready to mother someone 3 years younger than me." She quickly turned and walked away from the rock star and her father.

Raife frowned at his daughter. "Why'd you do that?"

Ashley snorted. "I'm sorry but she looked too much like…" She trailed off and looked away.

"Spencer." Raife finished curtly. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were in…" He abruptly stopped himself from finishing the ridiculous sentence.

Ashley's eyes snapped up to meet his gaze, and she paled. She knew exactly what he was going to say but didn't utter a single word of denial.

Raife saw the change in Ashley's expression and couldn't believe what he was seeing. She looked defeated, guilty, and lost. "Finish the sentence Ashley." He demanded sternly.

"Fuck you." She snapped.

"Say it!" He demanded praying he was reading his daughter wrong, that no matter how hard he tried she would never confirm his fears.

"She has a boyfriend." She growled back.

He grabbed her shoulders. "Say it!" He yelled, getting right in her face.

"I love her!" Ashley shouted on impulse. She felt such an overwhelming combination of surprise, fear, and relief as soon as the words left her lips. "I love Spencer." She repeated tasting the unfamiliar words.

Raife stared at his daughter in shock. He soon got over his shock and was horrified by his daughter's answer. Of all the fucking women in the world it had to be Spencer, the bass player, his Princess, Aiden's girlfriend. His horror soon turned to anger. He tightened his grip on her shoulders and shot eye-bullets at her. "You better fucking forget about it, Ashley."

Ashley pushed away from him and held his gaze with a deprecating smile. "Don't worry Dad, nothing can happen between us. I'm too much like you." She spat out coldly before stalking off.

Raife stared at his daughter's retreating form with a frown. Ashley's flaws are Spencer's turn offs. _There's no way in hell anything can happen between them two. She's just like me. _His frown turned into a smile._ Quit worrying Pops and go get laid. _

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Ashley stormed out of the studio, feeling the night cool air on her over heated skin did nothing to ease the edgy rock star's nerves. She hated herself for giving into her father so easily. She could have lied, denied it all but couldn't stop herself from blurting out the truth. She loved Spencer. Her stomach drop and she swallowed hard to keep away a sudden feeling of nausea. She dropped to the ground and scooted back against the wall. _I didn't ask for any of this! _Her mind screamed. She balled her hand into a fist and repeatedly hit the concrete next to her. She was so distracted with the pain in her hand that she didn't hear the footsteps approaching. "Ms. Davies, are you alright?" Rachael asked worriedly.

Startled, Ashley snapped her head up and stopped hitting the ground. "I'm fine." She muttered absently.

The concerned brunette didn't look convinced. "You're crying." She stated softly.

Ashley brought her hand up to her eyes and felt the warm tears under her fingertips. She quickly stood up and angrily wiped them away. "My hand hurts like hell." She explained dryly. "I'm going to go find some ice or something." She faced her assistant. "Go find Spencer and take her to the limo. Tell her I'll be there in a couple of minutes and remind her of the awesome job she did playing tonight." She commanded firmly.

Rachael nodded and turned around. Without another word she walked away from the upset rock star, feeling a little disappointed.

Frowning, Ashley looked down at her hand. It wasn't bleeding or broken but it did hurt like hell. She turned around, intent on entering the studio, then froze when she heard his laugh. Ashley couldn't help the smile that shaped her lips as the man's laughter filled her senses. Her heart began to pound harder and she felt her chest tighten slightly. She could feel her cocaine cravings gnawing at her and felt powerless to stop them. She wanted, no, needed her fix this time and nothing was going to stop her. Her mind shut out everything but the laugh that echoed through her mind. She could tell he was close, just around the studio wall, she guessed as she stepped back and started walking towards his voice. She slightly tensed when she reached him. Chris and 5 other people stood in a small alleyway, between two other studio buildings, with crack pipes, needles, heroin, and cocaine. She watched with detached curiosity as he took the man's standing next to him arm and wrapped a long rubber strap around his upper arm. He thumped his inner arm a couple of times before expertly injecting the contents of the syringe into his vein. An uneasy feeling washed over her as she watched him do it to another man.

Heroin.

She'd done it once before. Two years ago at an album release party, held at her producer's house. She was on her way to the bathroom when she ran into the dealer. His name was Kevin and he had everything, pills, heroine, cocaine, meth, and pot, in his briefcase. At 15 pot was her only choice of drug but she was young, cocky, stupid, and curious, so she agreed to try something new. They entered a small bedroom and Kevin closed the door behind them. Ashley sat at the edge of the bed, watching him set up everything on the round small table across from her.

Ashley narrowed her eyes at the man standing against the table. "This shit better be good." She said watching him fill a small syringe with clear liquid from a tiny jar.

He quickly glanced over at her and smiled. "Oh believe me, it's good. Have you ever injected cocaine?" He asked casually.

"No. But I heard the high is mind blowing." She answered offering him her arm.

"You heard right." He wrapped a yellow rubber strap around her upper arm and tapped for a vein.

Ashley watched the vein pop up and swallowed nervously when the tip of the needle pierced through her skin. She watched Kevin slowly push the plunger down, shooting the heroin into her bloodstream, and immediately felt a quick rush of dizziness run through her. She knew the second the dizzy spell hit her she wasn't on cocaine. And assumed she'd been fooled into taking heroin. She didn't like the sensation of the drug at all and could do nothing to stop the high she was on. The heroin injection engulfed her whole being as the sensation grew stronger, and it terrified her. She unconsciously fell back onto the bed and several different images began to play in her mind. She was floating on clouds, swimming in the ocean, and drifting through space.

Ashley's body began to grow warm and heavy. She felt paralyzed and couldn't move a single muscle while her body heat began to rise.

Kevin watched the rock star with satisfaction and began to unzip his pants. He knew Ashley was out of it and felt his excitement growing as he slowly approached the bed.

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Glen frantically looked around for the 15 year old guitar player and began to panic when he couldn't find her. Ashley had practically begged him to go back to the hotel with her, complaining of being dead tired, and he willing agreed. He looked down at his cell phone. "She left over 10 minutes ago." He muttered with panic.

Glen walked over to the staircase and took the steps two at a time. There were 5 different rooms, one of them being a bathroom, the rest being bedrooms. He looked in the bathroom first and found it empty. He looked in the three other rooms before standing in front of the forth. He turned the knob of the forth door and slowly opened it. His eyes widened at the sight. A middle aged man hovered over Ashley, kissing her, while moaning deep in his throat. Glen's shock soon turned to anger. He rushed over to the bed and grabbed the man's back, throwing him off Ashley, he brought his fist back before punching him hard.

Glen stood and walked back over to Ashley. Her clothes were still on but her jeans were unzipped. He stalked back over to the standing man.

_Grabbing his shirt collar, He pressed him hard against the wall. "You sick bastard." He spat punching him in the stomach. "Still having fun?" He asked as he grabbed his shirt collar again. Not getting an answer, he punched him again to gain his attention. Kevin doubled over and pleaded for him to stop. _

"What the hell is going on here?" The house owner asked from the open doorway.

Glen violently shoved the man to the floor and turned his attention back to the producer. "This bastard drugged Ashley." He explained with controlled anger.

The producer saw Ashley on the bed and frowned. He looked at Kevin. He had a nasty bruise on his face, and sat cradling his stomach. "I'll deal with him, just take the kid somewhere else. I don't want her messing up my sheets." He told glen.

Glen just nodded and easily picked up Ashley from the bed.

Ashley slowly started to come around in the car, feeling nauseated. She spent the first 10 minutes in her hotel room in the bathroom, emptying the contents in her stomach, while pleading for death. Having Glen with her helped a little but she still felt like shit. She went to bed and it was along time before sleep claimed her. She kept shaking and felt really hot but her teeth are what bothered her the most. She couldn't keep them from grinding against each other and after awhile her jaw started hurting. When she finally fell asleep, she had a nightmare and woke again.

The next morning, Glen filled her on what happened and she felt nauseated, humiliated, and stupid, all over again.

Ashley slightly shook her head and ignored her discomfort. She hadn't been this close to heroin since then and couldn't stop the memory from replaying in her head. She took a couple of steps forward and greeted everyone with a short nod before turning her attention to Chris. "I need a line of cocaine." She bluntly told the smiling man.

He held up a new syringe. "Cocaine? Why cocaine when I have bet-"

"Get that shit away from me." She spat and unconsciously hugged herself. "Just give me the cocaine please."

He put the syringe down. "Well anything for Raife's little girl." He chuckled as he picked up the gold plate. "How many lines?" He asked as he pulled out a small packet of cocaine.

"Two." Ashley answered.

The man cut up two lines and handed her the plate with a rolled up 100 dollar bill. Ashley took them and wasted no time snorting both lines. The coke burned a little but she was use to it and a few seconds later her nose felt numb along with her throat. She smiled sheepishly at Chris. "Thanks." She muttered as she turned to leave.

"Wait." She heard Chris say. She turned around. "Take some for the road." He said tossing her a small packet of cocaine.

Ashley caught with a smile. She put it in her pocket and turned around again. After a couple of minutes of walking she started feeling the cocaine effects. The highs weren't as great as they used to be but she was content with it. She felt a hand on her shoulder and quickly turned. _Nothing. _She looked around for the person who touched her and couldn't find them. She brought her hand over her racing heart and sighed. _What the fuck? _

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Spencer thanked Rachael and stepped into the limo. She smiled as she took the seat next to the small refrigerator in the corner. "These things are so cool." She said as she opened the small fridge. She took out a small bottle of water and opened it, taking a small sip, she hummed her contentment and started playing with the windows. "I can definetly get use to this." She stuck her head out the sun roof and looked around. The studio still seemed busy even at night. There were people walking all over the place. A cell phone in one hand and a briefcase in the other. Her own cell phone rang, with a frown, she went back to her seat and answered it. "Hello?

"Spencer, its Mom. How are you?" Paula Carlin was starting to worry about her daughter after calling so many times and never getting her. She felt relieved after hearing her daughter's voice on the other end of the line and couldn't stop the lazy tear that ran down her face.

"I'm great. Kind of tired though, we just finished playing Leno and it was amazing." Spencer exclaimed, sitting back in her seat, she smiled when she heard the two voices outside. "Did you watch it?"

"Yes I did, Sweetie you were amazing." She said, her voice kind but not excited. "Spencer." She paused. "When are you coming home? Me, your father, your friends, and even the animals are missing you."

Spencer thought back to playing. The rush, the fans, and her band mates made her feel so good that she didn't even want to think about going home. "I'm sorry, Mom. But I don't plan on coming home until Christmas. You can live with that right?"

"No." She answered honestly. "I don't think I can, Spencer, but I don't have any other choice." She stated dryly.

"I'm really sorry Mom. But I love what I'm doing and I'm just not ready for the life you want me to have yet." She sighed, "I don't want to marry Aiden and have his kids, and the whole college thing just wasn't for me either."

Paula gasped. "I can't believe you just said that! How can you say college isn't for you when you got accepted to the top 3 schools in the country?"

"Mom, I don't know. The thought of sitting in a classroom, going back to my dorm, studying all day and night, and then doing it all over again the next day just doesn't work for me." She explained impatiently. She hated having this conversation with her mother but didn't blame Paula. If the roles were reversed she knew she'd probably feel the same.

"Alright, Honey. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters to me." She said not really meaning it but knew Spencer was starting to get pissy so decided to drop the subject.

"Thank you." She murmured, knowing her mother didn't mean it. "Anyway, how are Dad and Grandpa?"

"Their heartbroken, Spencer. Their favorite little girl is traveling around the world doing God knows what with God knows who and is enjoying it!"

Spencer groaned and chastised herself for stepping into that. "Mom, I thought we dropped the subject?"

"Fine. Your father is doing fine. Is that Better?"

"Much." She chuckled. "I love you Mom."

Paula smiled. "I love you, but not your career choice, too."

"You'll be singing a different tune once you see my bank account." She teased.

"Money isn't everything, Dear." Paula scolded.

"I know but it helps pay for all the groupie sex I'm having." She smiled evilly into the phone.

"Spencer, groupie sex is free." She replied playfully, knowing her daughter was lying.

Spencer's brow furrowed. "And how would you know that?"

"Because I use to have it all the time!" She exclaimed with a series of evil chuckles.

"Aw gross Mom." Spencer scrunched her face up in disgust, "I did not need to know that."

"Well Honey, you started it."

"And I'm ending it, right now." She chuckled, "I love you Mom."

"Love you too sweetie, be careful."

"Will do, good bye Mom."

"Good bye dear."

Spencer closed her phone and sat back. The limo door opened and she turned her head. She watched Ashley step in, slamming the door behind her, she took her seat and leaned her head heavily against the window. Spencer scooted closer to Ashley and took the rock star's hand in her own. Ashley picked up her head and intertwined their fingers. They sat still, holding each other's hands while gazing affectionately into one another's eyes. "I waited so long for this." Spencer whispered as a firm yet gentle hand began to caress her cheek. No words were spoken as they leaned towards each other, irresistibly drawn together by some unseen force. Spencer smiled as she dipped her head, humming her happiness, as she gently nibbled on Ashley's bottom lip. Ashley shifted and turned her head away, feeling slightly embarrassed and giddy at the same time. She felt like some gawky teenage boy on his first date for some strange reason and didn't like it. Spencer chuckled softly at the rock star's reddened face and leaned forward, closing the small distance between them, she gently brushed her lips over Ashley's.

Both teens were lost in the passion that ignited between them as their lips met in a gentle kiss that developed into passionate urgency. Moaning deeply in her chest, Spencer parted the rock star's lips with her tongue and explored the warmth of Ashley's mouth. She pressed her body firmly into the rock star as Ashley ran her hand up Spencer's side and rested it on a soft breast. Spencer deepened the kiss as Ashley's hand began fondling her nipple through the fabric of her vest. She buried her fingers into soft auburn hair, pulling the rock star closer to her, and melted into Ashley as they continued to kiss. Ashley reluctantly broke her lips away from the kiss, panting uncontrollably, both girls tried desperately hard to get air back in their lungs.

Panting lightly, Spencer looked into the rock star's eyes. Fear, want, and need filled the deep brown eyes looking back at her. Ashley opened her mouth to speak, closing it when she felt a hand sensually caress her face. Spencer's mouth came down on her lips once more and she stopped thinking. Aiden, Pops, the band, nothing mattered anymore except the sweet lips moving against her own.

Spencer moved her lips along Ashley's jaw, loving the taste of her skin as she moved down the rock star's neck. Ashley growled her desire as she ran her fingers through Spencer's blonde hair, encouraging her to continue. Frantic throbbing pulsated in Spencer's chest and groin as she continued feasting on the rock star's neck. Ashley lied back, pulling Spencer down on top of her, along the limo's seats. She wrapped her legs around Spencer, pulling her deeper into herself. Spencer eagerly unzipped Ashley's hoodie and moaned when she saw her dark nipples straining against the thin material of her white tank top. Shyly she reached down and cupped her full breast. She began stroking the hard nipple with the palm of her hand while moving her lips back down to her neck. She was rewarded with a deep long groan from Ashley.

Spencer's lips descended further down the rock star's neck, sucking, nipping, and kissing the smooth skin there. Ashley's husky breathing encouraged her to move further down over her breast. Her mouth hovered over a dark straining bud, her warm breath caressing it as her lips moved down to suckle it into her mouth….

If I could escape

I would, but first of all let me say

I must apologize for acting, stinking, treating you this way

Cause I've been acting like sour milk fell on the floor

It's your fault you didn't shut the refrigerator

Maybe that's the reason I've been acting so cold

Spencer felt the body underneath her tense and looked up. Ashley stared blankly back at her, waiting to see what she'd do next. Spencer lightly kissed her lips before moving away. She picked up her ringing cell phone and pushed the talk button. She looked over at Ashley and flashed her an apologetic smile before bringing the cell phone up to her ear. "Hey, Baby." She unconsciously answered and moved her gaze down to her shoes. The act did not go unnoticed by Ashley. She could tell Spencer was nervous, uncomfortable, and tense, making her feel the same way. Everything started to become real again and in her drug induced mind she saw things from a different prospective. She was Spencer's play thing and nothing more. Aiden had her, heart, body, and soul, and what did she have? Nothing. Ashley turned her head and stared out the window. She tried to block out Spencer's phone conversation but couldn't, since the blonde only sat across from her. She wanted nothing more than to simply wither away and escape the silent torment Spencer was putting her through.

"When are you leaving to Vegas?" Aiden babbled on.

"Tonight. In a couple of hours I think."

"I can't wait to see you, I miss you Baby."

"I miss you too." Her voice faltered slightly as she continued to speak. She could feel Ashley's eyes on her, and audibly swallowed. She felt horrible talking to Aiden in front of Ashley and didn't know why. The reality of everything was, Ashley felt nothing more than lust for her and she felt….the same way about Ashley. Her mind told her she wasn't doing anything wrong but her heart told her something entirely different. She quickly glanced over at Ashley and for a moment they both just looked at each other, hating the reality of everything, Ashley turned her attention back to the window, staring at anything but the sorry gray eyes across from her.

"Alright Baby, I have to go."

"Okay sweetheart, I love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

"Bye." Spencer closed her phone and sat still for a while, not being able to face the rock star yet.

The silence that surrounded both teens soon became unbearable.

"How is he?" Ashley asked breaking the tense silence.

"Fine. He just wanted to know when we were leaving." Spencer answered looking over at her.

Ashley sat still staring out the window. She tried to ignore the eyes drilling holes in her but couldn't. She sighed heavily and turned her head. "Why are you doing this?" She asked bluntly with a hint of anger.

Spencer was caught off guard by the rock star's question and didn't know how to answer it. She stared into fuming brown eyes and ignored them. Taking her previous seat next to the rock star, Spencer reached over and took Ashley's hand. Ashley fought the urge to crush the fingers in her grasp and quickly drew her hand away before she gave into her urge. She hated feeling like some toy and knew that's all she was to the blonde sitting next to her, a toy. Spencer saw the pain etched clearly in Ashley's expressive brown eyes and knew she was the cause of her pain. "I'm sorry." She whispered. "I'm so sorry Ashley." She cupped Ashley's cheek, cradling it in her hand, she leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on her other cheek. She pulled back and tilted Ashley's head.

Ashley looked into Spencer's pleading gray eyes and couldn't stop the evil grin from shaping her lips. She couldn't feel anything but the hands on her body, which did nothing but fuel her burning rage. She wanted Spencer, she wanted to hurt Spencer, like Spencer was hurting her, and could do nothing to stop her body from giving into it's ravenous desire to touch and feel and harm the blonde sitting next to her.

Ashley slowly brought her hand up and buried her fingers in soft blonde hair, running them through flawless gold tresses; she loved the feel and smell of it as she leaned in closer. Ashley stopped her forward motion an inch away from the sweet lips she loved so much. She could feel Spencer's warm quickening breaths against her own lips and smiled at the effect she had on the Blonde.

After what seemed like forever, Spencer decided to close the small distance between them and kiss Ashley. She leaned forward --then cried out when she felt the hold on her hair tightened viciously. A dark hazy filled daze corrupted Ashley's mind as she stared blankly at the blonde in front of her. She growled as she captured her lips in a rough, possessive, and painful kiss, swallowing her muffled cries as she ripped open the blonde's vest and cupped a full breast.

Spencer placed her hands on the aggressive rock star's shoulders and pushed hard.

Ashley felt Spencer struggling against her and liked it.

Needing oxygen, Ashley reluctantly broke the kiss.

Breathing hard, she rested her forehead against the blonde's temple.

Spencer jerked back and stared at the panting rock star in horror. "What are doing?"

"Isn't this what you want?" Ashley spat out, her smile taunting and her eyes bitter. She squeezed Spencer's breast, teasing it through the material of her clothing. "A good fuc-"

Spencer's lips fell on hers before she could finish. _I can't explain it Ashley but I need you. _

Ashley bit down, loving the taste of blood in her mouth, and heard Spencer whimper in pain, further exciting her, as she continued her assault on the blonde's mouth.

Spencer's eyes widened at tasting the thick salty substance in her mouth and immediately pushed away from Ashley. She brought her hand up to her lips and gasped when she noticed the blood covering her fingers.

Ashley stared at the amount of blood trickling down Spencer's chin in shock, crying when she realized she did that to her. "I'm so sorry Spencer." She choked out desperately wanting to take Spencer into her arms and fix everything but knew that was impossible. She fucked everything up for good and felt more alone now than ever.

Spencer numbly turned her head and stared fearfully at the stranger in front of her.

Ashley saw Spencer's fearful expression and moved away from her. She wanted to blame the drugs for her actions but couldn't. She no longer felt the effects of the cocaine and being sober only added onto her guilt.

Spencer looked away from Ashley and picked up her purse. She opened it and took out a couple of Kleenex's for her lip.

"I'm just like him." Ashley mumbled miserably while thinking back to all the times she witnessed her father take out his anger on some unfortunate groupie or his current girlfriend. She was disgusted with herself and felt like shit knowing she had just done the exact same thing to Spencer. She looked at her with sorry eyes. "I can't do it."

Spencer met her gaze with tired eyes. "Do what?" She asked softly.

"I can't go on living like him." Ashley looked at Spencer's lip in a dazed way. "I enjoyed doing that." She choked out, struggling against tears.

Spencer sat still and watched Ashley fall to the floor, sitting on her knees, she dug for something in her back pocket. "I hurt you Spencer and now you can barely look at me."

"Ashley." Spencer gasped when she noticed the razor blade in her hand. "What are doing?"

"I'll never hurt you again Spencer." She closed her eyes and brought the razor blade down to her wrist.

"NO!" Spencer screamed as she rushed over to her.

Spencer tackled Ashley to the ground and struggled to take the razor away from her. "I want to die." Ashley kept mumbling as she fought to keep the razor blade in her grasp.

"No." Spencer whispered back. "I can't live without you Ashley, please just stop it." She pleaded desperately.

Ashley heard Spencer's desperate plea and hesitantly caved in. She slowly sat up and dropped the razor. Her eyes never left the small piece of metal as she spoke. "Did you mean that?" She asked with such vulnerability that it broke Spencer's heart.

Spencer took the vulnerable rock star's hand. "Yes." Ashley looked up and the world faded for an instant as their eyes met. "I can't live without you, Ashley." And she meant every word.

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Ashley slowly opened her eyes and frowned when she felt the limo slowly pull to a stop. "We're here." She mumbled weakly snuggling closer to the body that held her.

Spencer stopped stroking Ashley's hair and lightly kissed the top of her head. "Are you nervous?" She quietly asked.

Ashley shook her head no. "Just tired." She answered while sitting up. "But I'll get over it."

Confused, Spencer watched Ashley stand up and silently walk towards the front. She had never met anyone quite as complex as Ashley. One minute she was as vulnerable as a child the next she was back to her old self. With a silent sigh, Spencer also stood up, fixing her clothes, she watched Ashley hand the driver a wad of bills and froze when she saw the next thing she handed him.

Cocaine.

Spencer could feel the anger build up inside of her and couldn't help but wonder if Ashley's attempt at suicide happened because she was high.

Ashley turned around and met Spencer's angry gaze. Puzzled and uncomfortable, she coolly walked over to her. "Is there a problem?" She asked casually, keeping the concern out of her voice as she spoke. "You look upset." She added while slipping on her sun glasses.

Spencer saw the worry clearly imprinted in the rock star's eyes, before she covered them, and took a deep breath. "When'd you get the cocaine?" She failed to keep the anger out of her voice and saw Ashley's face harden as soon as the words left her lips.

"I don't think that's any of your business but I'll answer your question anyway, since you asked it so nicely." She spat out. "I got it before I entered the limo." She added evenly.

"Did you snort any?" She quietly asked.

A sudden feeling of guilt washed over Ashley and she hated it.

"Yes." She answered honestly and turned away after seeing the hurt and disappointment that filled Spencer's sad grey eyes.

Spencer let a shaky breath. "How could you do that after we-"

"Hugged." Ashley simply finished. "We hugged and that unfortunately did nothing for me."

Spencer looked at her skeptically. "Then why didn't you do the cocaine backstage?"

"Because I didn't want to." She answered impatiently. "Are we done yet?"

Her eyes hardened. "Yes Ashley. We're done." She answered coldly and stalked past the impatient teen.

The double meanings of the words were not lost on Ashley. "Wait!" She called out before Spencer could open the hummer door.

Spencer turned her head. "Yes?" She asked as she stopped her hand from reaching out for the door handle.

Ashley ran a shaky hand through her hair and sighed. Their gaze stayed locked, and Ashley started to feel a knot form in her stomach. "I guess I should start off by saying I'm sorry for being such a bitch,. " She sighed. " And I lied before about not being nervous. I'm always nervous before seeing Brenda and Kyla but I didn't want to talk about it or worry you." She looked away and softened her tone, "And I'm glad you were there for me back stage. It meant a lot to me."

Spencer stepped away from the door. "You could have died tonight Ashley." She started walking towards her. "You were so high and almost slit your wrist-"

Ashley met her gaze. "That was all me, Spencer. Not the drugs. I really wanted to kill myse-"

"But you didn't." Spencer whispered as she wrapped her arms around Ashley, pulling her into a tight hug. "And you won't ever try again, right?" Spencer pulled back when she didn't get an answer. She lifted her head and gently removed Ashley's sun glasses, looking into slightly reddened eyes, she saw uncertainty there. "Right?" She tried again.

Ashley looked away. "I don't know, Spencer. This wasn't the first time I've tried to do that." She answered weakly.

Tenderly, she tilted Ashley's chin up to meet her gaze and pleaded, "Don't try it again, Ash. No matter how hard life gets, just promise me you'll never try to take your own life again. Please promise me."

Ashley hesitated before answering, and just stared at her a long moment. She saw nothing but love reflecting in her deep grey eyes and knew she couldn't deny Spencer anything. She smiled lightly, "Alright Spencer, I promise."

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The walk up the driveway was made quietly. Spencer quickly glanced over at Ashley and saw the fear in her deep brown eyes. She moved her hand over and grasped Ashley's, intertwining their fingers, she smiled when she felt the tense rock star slightly relax. Ashley turned her head and saw the look of utter amazement in Spencer's eyes as she looked around her mother's stunning estate. "My fa- Pops designed everything you see out here." She said referring to the landscape. "Even all the flowerbeds and shrubs." She also looked around. "Pretty good job, eh?"

Spencer chuckled lightly at Ashley's Canadian impersonation. "A very good job."

She turned her head and placed a quick kiss on Ashley's cheek.

"And I bet I know who inspired him to design something so amazingly beautiful."

Ashley shivered as she felt Spencer's breath tickle her ear, "Oh yeah, who?" She asked with a shaky voice.

Spencer stopped walking and turned, facing Ashley, she wrapped her arms around the rock star's neck and whispered, "You" before capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. Ashley's dread was soon forgotten as she lost herself in their soothing kiss. Both teens were too caught up in their intensifying passion that they failed to notice the front door opening.

"Now this is hot."

Horrified, Spencer urgently pushed Ashley away from her and faced the teen at the door.

Ashley ignored who ever was at the door and stared incredulously at Spencer. She felt angry knowing the only way Spencer would allow her to touch her was when they were hiding from the rest of the world, and barely fought back the urge to reach out and posses the lips that were hers just mere seconds ago. She violently shook her head, trying to rid herself of her cruel intentions and with a distant gaze, watched Spencer walk away from her, putting as much distance as possible between them, without it looking too suspicious, and looked away._ In the presence of others she can't stand being near me but when we're alone she can't keep her hands off me_! _What the fuck am I to you, Spencer Carlin, if not a toy? _Ashley closed her eyes in pain and cursed herself for letting Spencer take off her sunglasses. She felt exposed, naked, without them and unconsciously hugged herself.

Spencer's heart began to race at being caught and she could feel herself start to panic. All kinds of crazy scenarios began to run through her mind. All of which ended in Aiden's heart break. The thought of breaking Aiden's heart, watching his bright blue eyes dull, his perfect smile fall, his broad shoulders slump, brought tears to Spencer's eyes.

"Don't worry Princess." Ashley spat. "He's my sister's boyfriend not some reporter from 'seventeen'."

Spencer's head snapped over to Ashley. "What?" She asked dumbly, confused by the sullen teen's behavior.

Ashley responded while keeping her gaze glued to her mother's house. "Your boyfriend won't find out about this." She muttered before walking to the front door.

Spencer numbly stared at Ashley's retreating form. The thought of hurting Aiden was almost too much to bear but the thought of losing Ashley was just down right painful. Fear clutched desperately onto her heart as she pictured Ashley saying the words she dreaded the most. It's over. "Ashley?" She asked weakly, forgetting all about the boy at the door.

Ashley stopped walking and turned around. She knew what Spencer was asking and blankly stared into pleading grey eyes. She could end everything right here, she thought, and just be Spencer's band mate, maybe even friend, and stop the pain and insanity that was reigning down on her from loving Spencer. She opened her mouth, intent on stopping everything, but the wrong words came out. "Everything's fine." She answered blankly as if in a trance and offered Spencer her hand.

There was something sorrowful in Ashley's eyes but Spencer didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think about what she was doing to Ashley in this affair, knowing it was anything but pleasant. Instead, she smiled warmly and took Ashley's offered hand, intertwining their fingers; she gave it quick squeeze before turning her attention back to the teen at the door. He looked around 5'8 with shaggy black hair, brown eyes, wearing a black tony hawk shirt with baggy jeans, showing off his South Park boxers, and big skater shoes with hideous pink shoe laces.

Ashley turned her head and frowned at her sister's boyfriend. No matter how polite and pleasant the 15 year old boy acted around her she still didn't like him. "You saw nothing." She snarled as she closed the distance between them.

The smug smile instantly fell of Jason's face as the venom in her tone registered in his mind. "Hey, don't worry about me. Theses lips are sealed." He said while making a zipper motion over his lips with his fingers.

Ashley rolled her eyes while Spencer chuckled.

"Where's everyone else?" Ashley asked as she stepped inside the house with Spencer at her side.

Jason closed the door behind them. "Upstairs I think." He shrugged, "They always take forever to get ready." He said smiling over at Spencer. "Who's your friend?" He asked already knowing.

Ashley smiled. "Now where are my manners?" She let go of Spencer's hand. "Spencer," She motioned towards Jason. "Ass face who's trying to get into my sister's pants." She shifted a little and motioned to Spencer. "Ass face who's trying to get into my sister's pants, Spencer."

Jason frowned at the older sister before looking back at Spencer. "I'm Jason." He said while briefly shaking her hand.

"Nice to meet you, Jason." Spencer responded in her natural cheery state.

Jason glared at Ashley. "At least some one from the band thinks so."

Ashley smiled slyly. "You might want to try to stay on my good side. I happen to have a pretty tight hold on your girl friend." Her smile widened. "All I have to do is say the word and you're gone."

Jason searched the rock star's face for a hint of a lie and found nothing but truth in her words. She stood so confident and cocky that it made him want to just shrivel away and disappear. He gulped audibly. "You won't really do that, right?" He asked hesitantly.

Ashley pursed her lips and took a step forward. "I won't if you cut your hair." She ruffled his long black locks, "Wear a belt." She grabbed two of his belt loops and lifted his jeans over his exposed boxers, "And no more packing because it's never going to happen." She said as she pulled out the condom in his pocket.

He blushed furiously and chuckled nervously. "I didn't think…..you know how it is…." He paused. "Actually you don't know, do you? Being a virgin and all."

"What?" Spencer blurted out in surprise.

Jason looked at Spencer in confusion. "Well that's what Kyla told me." He looked at Ashley. "It's true right?"

Ashley didn't hesitate answering. "Of course it's true. I'm saving myself until marriage and my sister's doing the same." She added staring bullets at Jason.

"Right. Me too." He muttered feeling highly uncomfortable under the rock star's gaze.

Spencer looked between the two with an amused expression. _Ashley a virgin? _She couldn't stop the fit of laughter that followed after thinking of Ashley as a virgin.

Ashley slightly tensed and turned around. She narrowed her eyes at the laughing blonde but couldn't stop smiling as she thought about her own lie. She stuck her tongue out at Spencer before facing the boyfriend again. "Dispose of this." She commanded handing him the condom.

He blushed again as he took the rubber and walked outside. Ashley sighed before turning back around. She held up a finger at the giggling blonde. "Don't even think about saying a word." She playfully warned.

Spencer stopped giggling and zipped her lips like Jason had done earlier.

Ashley smirked, finding the blonde's attics utterly adorable, and stepped forward, placing a quick kiss on her lips, before walking into the kitchen.

Spencer brought her hand up to her lips and smiled dreamily, before following the rock star into the kitchen.

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"We have Dr. Pepper, Dr. Pepper, and Dr. Pepper." Ashley closed the fridge and approached the kitchen table with two cans of Dr. Pepper.

Spencer smiled up at Ashley and opened her can of soda.

"I actually hate Dr. Pepper." She said with a chuckle.

Ashley choked on the dark liquid sliding down her throat.

"What?" She gasped out in disbelief.

Spencer looked away from the rock star.

"I hate Dr. Pepper." She repeated with a shrug.

Ashley pursed her lips. "You do know you're like 1 in bagillion who hates Dr. Pepper, right?" She teased as she took her seat beside the blonde.

Spencer lightly backhanded her upper arm. "Am not." She argued as she took a tiny sip of soda. She grimaced as soon as the horrid taste assaulted her taste buds and pushed the small can away. "Okay last time I do that."

Ashley gulped down half the can and smiled over at Spencer.

"Your tongue must be broken or something because this shit is 'the shit'."

Spencer nodded her head in agreement. "You're right. It is shit."

Ashley opened her mouth to respond but then closed it when she noticed the older brunette entering the room.

Spencer turned her gaze to the tall figure in front of them. Her smile was warm and she looked far too young to be anyone's parent but assumed it was due to plastic surgery. Spencer didn't see too much of a resemblance between her and Ashley and frowned when she realized Ashley got most of her looks from the person she hated the most, her father.

Ashley stood from her seat and watched Spencer do the same. She took Spencer's hand walked them around the table.

"Hello, I'm Brenda Shannon Matthews. Ashley's mother." Brenda introduced herself as she offered the blonde her hand.

Spencer took the offered hand with a bright smile. "Spencer Adrienne Carlin."

Brenda chuckled lightly. "Everyone knows who you are, Dear. Your face is on the cover of every major teen magazine out there. Along with that incredibly gorgeous man of yours." She winked. "You two do make an amazing couple. Can't wait for the wedding."

Feeling uncomfortable, Spencer looked down. Ashley sensed the blonde's discomfort and gave her hand a quick squeeze before speaking. "So, Brenda. How did your meeting go?" Ashley asked changing the uncomfortable subject.

The drastic change in subject was not lost on the older brunette. She watched with amusement as Spencer leaned closer to her daughter, her head resting against her shoulder as they continued to hold each other's hand. She was momentarily taken aback at how accepting Ashley was to her advancements. Ashley had never been affectionate to anyone and hated being touched. She would even slightly tense before Kyla threw her arms around her. "Um, fine. Everything went according to plan." She blurted out quickly. She looked down at her watch. "Let me go get Kyla." She looked back at both girls. "You can show Spencer around." She said before leaving the room.

Ashley turned her head. "Ready for the world famous Ashley Davies nickel tour?"

Spencer chuckled. "Lead on."

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They walked into the last room of the tour and Spencer couldn't keep her eyes from bugging out. The walls were filled with original priceless paintings and sculptures by famous artists from all over the world. Elegant French antiques furnished the cream colored room and she assumed the room alone costed more than her parent's ranch back home. She looked over at Ashley. "This room is absolutely breath taking." She honestly exclaimed.

Ashley smiled at her enthusiasm. "It is kind of cool, I guess."

"Ashley!"

Ashley turned towards her little sister's voice.

Kyla's laughter filled the room as she threw her arms around her older sister's waist.

"I thought you were never going to get here." She said as she pulled back.

Ashley smiled widely. "And miss a dinner date with my favorite girl in the whole wide world? Never." She took a step back and wrapped an arm around both Kyla's shoulders.

She made eye contact with Spencer and fought back an embarrass blush as she met the blonde's mushy gaze.

"Spencer, this is Kyla Emma Mathews, my little sister."

Spencer nodded her head in hello. "It's nice to meet you Kyla."

Kyla looked her over, head to toe, and smiled widely.

"You're a lot prettier in person." She looked up at Ashley, grinning wickedly. "How do you keep your hands off her?"

Ashley chuckled nervously. "Virgin, remember?" She joked weakly.

"Oh yeah." Kyla mumbled and turned her attention back to Spencer. "So, how's the incredible hunk?"

Spencer blinked a couple of times before she realized she was asking about Aiden. "oh, Aiden's great." She replied lamely.

"That all?" Kyla asked with a chuckle. "If Aiden were my Man I'd be going on and on about those incredibly gorgeous biceps of his." She said dreamily.

Ashley smirked. "Well then, it's a good thing he's not your man because that kind of talk would drive me crazy."

Kyla giggled. "Oh I can definitely see that. Let's just all be thankful that Spencer is Aiden's girl and not me."

A moment of silence passed through the room before Ashley spoke. "Yeah, thankful."

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The limo ride to the restaurant was exciting. Neither Matthew could keep their mouths shut about Aiden. Spencer didn't mind answering their questions but felt a little uncomfortable with Ashley sitting so close. She'd occasionally change the subject when Aiden came up and enjoyed the other conversations she had with both Matthews. They were both so much different from Ashley. Kyla reminded her of herself, very social and cheery while Brenda was some what sophisticated and naturally funny. She couldn't help the laughter that bubble up at hearing about Brenda's childhood in Montana.

Ashley spent most of the ride sitting quietly, texting, while Spencer answered the most bizarre questions about Aiden, like 'what kind of tooth paste does he use' or 'how big are his biceps'. And then her mother's childhood stories came into play and she wanted to die right there on the spot. She was annoyed beyond belief but some what relieved that Spencer was enjoying herself.

They arrived at the restaurant called 'Dolce' a stylish hot Italian restaurant owned by the cast from 'That 70's show'. The line outside the door was as long as the waiting time. Ashley thought with a furrowed brow and cursed herself for not making reservations.

"We're never going to get in." Kyla whined as she leaned against her boyfriend, disappointment etched plainly over her face.

Ashley slyly smiled and pulled out her cell. "Never say never." She said before walking away from the small crowd.

Puzzled, Spencer stared at Ashley's retreating form. She looked over at Brenda, who stood right next to her. "Who do you think she's calling?"

Brenda made eye contact. "Don't know." She smiled. "But I bet this little phone call of hers is going to get us into this place soon."

Spencer chewed on her bottom lip. "Why do you say that?

"We'd be gone by now if she wasn't getting us into this place."

Spencer just nodded and turned her attention back to the teen on the phone.

Ashley closed her cell phone and motioned for everyone else to follow her. They all looked at each other before following Ashley to the restaurant's main entrance. The doors opened and a familiar figure stepped out. He had short light brown hair, dark brown eyes, a little stubble on his chin, a navy blue collar shirt with Levi jeans and scandals. He started joyfully laughing and waving at the small crowd, who's faces expressed nothing less of utter shock, except for Ashley who enthusiastically embraced her close friend, ignoring the roaring crowd around them. When Ashley pulled back he asked her why she hadn't made any reservations and laughed at her response.

Shocked grey eyes watched the two joke around and quickly observed the famous actor before resting her gaze on Ashley. Ashley felt the eyes on her and turned her head. She smiled at Spencer, reassuring her that every thing was okay, and took Ashton's hand. After Ashley introduced Ashton Kutcher to everyone else, Ashton led them inside the extremely busy restaurant and led them to the VIP section of the room. Spencer sat next to Ashley and across from them sat Kyla and Brenda with Jason at the head of the table. Ashton talked to Ashley a little while longer before leaving back to his own table. They exchanged promises to call each other soon before hugging good bye.

Ashley settled back down in her seat and smiled as she looked at everyone else at the table. She knew by their bewildered expressions they weren't expecting her to have such wide spread connections. "I recommend the lasagna." She lazily stated as she picked up her menu and started to scan the listed items.

Everyone snapped out of their shock and also picked up their menus. Spencer's eyes bulged out after reading the listed items. She didn't know half the things listed on the menu and the things like 'swordfish steak' sounded less than appetizing and more like nauseating.

"I think I'm having the 'grilled cuttlefish'." Kyla announced as she set her menu aside.

Disgusted, both Jason and Spencer scrunched their faces in unison.

Ashley saw the disgusted gesture and sighed. "Is there something wrong?" She asked nervously, wanting to make Spencer's first dinner in LA special, not being too elegant but not too casual either, and assumed 'Dolce' would be the perfect place to go. She felt shitty knowing she'd fail in making the blonde's dinner perfect.

Spencer put the menu down and faced the insecure teen. She could see the disappointment in the rock star's sad eyes and smiled reassuringly while placing her hand on her knee. "Everything's perfect Ash." Ashley nodded but didn't look convinced. Spencer leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "It's perfect." She repeated as she stared into dark brown eyes, mesmerized by their depth, she quickly lost herself in Ashley's gaze.

Ashley unconsciously licked her lips as she slowly leaned forward, needing to feel Spencer's lips on her own again, and knew Spencer felt the same. Her expressive grey eyes told her as they glistened with yearn that she planned on fulfilling. She closed her eyes and felt Spencer's quickening breaths against her parted lips….

"Welcome to 'Dolce'! May I get your drink orders?"

Hearing the waitress's voice, both teens abruptly pulled back. Spencer blushed furiously and picked up her menu, hiding her beet red face. Ashley just smiled coolly at the young waitress and ordered water. She looked at everyone else at the table and glared, not liking the baffled stares they were giving her and Spencer. "What do you guys want?" She asked sharply feeling irritated and uncomfortable under their eyes.

Brenda, Kyla, and Jason couldn't believe what they had just witnessed minutes before the waitress made her appearance. Spencer casually kissing Ashley in a public restaurant! Brenda couldn't stop her racing heart and couldn't believe Ashley had taken Spencer away from Aiden. Kyla was starting to question Spencer and Aiden's relationship. All the magazines say they're the perfect couple but now Kyla didn't believe a word of it. If that were true, Spencer wouldn't be hooking up with her sister! She thought bitterly. Jason was too caught up with the waitress's ass to have cared about seeing Ashley and Spencer kiss in front of him, again. Each individual snapped out of their musing after receiving a death glare from Ashley, looking back down at their menus, they hastily placed their drink orders.

The waitress wrote down all the orders on the little notepad in her hands and turned her attention to Spencer. "And you Mam?" She asked with a hint of annoyance.

"Coke." She answered, her face still covered by the menu.

The waitress nodded and gave everyone a small smile before walking off.

The silence that followed the waitress's departure was almost torturous. Ashley boldly met everyone's confused gaze and dared them with her eyes to broach the subject. When her eyes locked onto her mother's, she saw something there that almost made her flinch. Her cold brown eyes stared intently into her own in a fierce gaze. Ashley felt really small under her mother's gaze and looked away.

Spencer put down the menu covering her face and stared between mother and daughter. They obviously need to talk about this. She thought while standing from her seat.

Ashley looked up and pushed her chair back to assist Spencer. Spencer saw Ashley's attempt to move and placed her hands on Ashley's shoulders. She leaned down near her ear and whispered, "Its okay. Just talk to your Mom." She straightened up and looked at everyone. "Excuse me." She said with a strained smile before turning to leave, intent on going to the bathroom.

Ashley watched Spencer go with a small frown.

"Kyla, why don't you take Jason dancing?" Brenda offered motioning towards the dance floor.

Kyla bit back a groan and stood from her seat. "Come on." She said as she took her boyfriend's hand.

Both women watched Kyla and Jason make their way through the crowded dance floor until they were out of sight, lost in throng of people. Brenda turned her head and met Ashley's awaiting gaze. She could tell her daughter was nervous by the way she lightly scratched up and down her arm. Her light tanned skin turning red as sharp nails assaulted the smooth skin they found there. "What should I make of this?" She asked crossing her arms over her chest.

Ashley looked at her skeptically. "Make of what?" She asked knowing what her mother was asking but not ready to answer the onslaught of questions headed her way.

Brenda scowled. "This thing with you and Spencer."

They kept each other's gaze as Ashley answered. "Would you believe me if I said I'm head over heels in love with the girl and planned on spending the rest of my life with her?" Her eyes conveyed the seriousness she felt about Spencer and her words were just as somber and honest.

Brenda just stared at Ashley expecting her to break out in laughter or say something like 'just fucking with ya' but she did neither. Instead, she sat quietly across from her, serious as a heart attack, and Brenda didn't know what to say. She briefly closed her eyes, letting it all sink in, and sighed deeply. "How long have you known her?" She asked before re opening her eyes.

Ashley shifted in her seat. "A couple of days." She answered evenly.

Her eyes slightly widened and her jaw dropped. Her daughter had fallen so passionately in love with someone she has known for only 2 days?! "Ashley, don't you think saying your going to be spending the rest of your life with someone you've known for 2 days is a little over the top?" She asked carefully.

Ashley's features stayed neutral as she answered her mother's question. "No." She faintly smiled. "Call it love at first sight or even destiny, but I already know Spencer's mine forever." She absently added with a hint of smugness.

Brenda slightly tensed at her daughter's cocky attitude and her determination to posses Spencer, and it was as if she were talking to Raife himself. "Does Spencer share your views?"

Her smile fell. "No, but that can change." She smiled again. "Will change. Soon."

"And Aiden?" Brenda pushed. "Her boyfriend. How does he feel about all this?"

"He doesn't know." She stated softly. "And it stays like that until…..until…" Ashley's confident demeanor slowly started to fall as she continued to stutter and trip over her words in a desperate attempt to finish her sentence. She wanted to say until Spencer leaves him but she had no idea when that would happen, if it happens. She stopped talking all together and cradled her head in her hands, feeling very tired all of a sudden. She had always hated the idea of love and the whole girlfriend/boyfriend or girlfriend/girlfriend thing and never really thought about having one herself. Watching her father date had always made the idea of dating unappealing. The girls were only in it for the money and the ones that stuck around more than a couple of days were always around him. Being the little whores they were by giggling and fondling him in public, and Ashley knew dating would be the same for her. The girl would be after her money and act extremely annoying around her, and she didn't want to deal with that. So she avoided dating completely and kept to one night stands. But now it seemed like her whole world had change in a matter of days.

Sean leaves the band because his mother's dying of cancer, and then Pops finds Spencer to replace him without anyone having a say in it. He didn't even mention the new bass player to them, keeping it surprise until Aiden's birthday, so they didn't know a god damned thing about it for weeks. She would have never gotten herself into this mess if she had known Spencer was their new bass player, when they had met that night in her hotel room. At that moment she knew her father was to blame for all this insanity. All he had to do was show Ashley a picture, even give a name, of Spencer and she would have avoided all of this. Ashley wouldn't even have looked at Spencer if she had known she was Aiden's girlfriend, much less fuck her in a hotel room.

She knew she couldn't lay all the blame on her father. She was the one who seduced Spencer that night and gave birth to this affair. She had been so nasty to Spencer throughout all of this and all of this was her fault. Feeling less than scum, she thought about lashing out at Spencer in the limo, her bleeding lip, tattered clothes, the fear in her eyes, and the more she thought about it, the more it started sounding like….

"Rape." Ashley gasped as she picked her head up from her hands.

_She tried to push me away but I didn't listen. I was so angry and it didn't matter what she wanted only what she deserved. _Ashley silently mused. _But she didn't deserve to be almost raped by me…again. I was the one who got her into this affair, not the other way around. I'm to blame for this, not her, so why should she suffer? She shouldn't. I have no right to do anything between Spencer and Aiden and I have no right to say she's mine. Because that will never happen. No matter how much I love her. _

"Ashley?" A voice next to her asked.

Ashley turned her head. "Yes, Kyla?"

"You seem upset. You okay?"

Ashley looked across from her. "I'm fine. Where's Brenda?"

"Dance floor with Jason and Spencer. I guess she wanted to give you some alone time or something."

Ashley nodded slowly. "What do you think of her?" she turned her head and awaited her sister's answer.

Kyla's face lit up. "Horrible dancer," She chuckled, "Funny, and it's no wonder you're so into her, Sis. She's really cool. Can't wait for the wedding." She playfully nudged Ashley's side.

Ashley took a moment before answering. "She's still with Aiden Kyla. And I don't plan on having anything more than sex with her." She answered bluntly. Ashley saw the shock and then betrayal written in her sister's eyes. " I lied to you, and I'm sorry but I'm not a virgin and Spencer's not my girlfriend." She stood up from her seat. "Don't expect her to be your future sister in law because that will never happen." She added evenly before heading towards the restaurant exit.

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Jason, Spencer, and Brenda cheerfully made their way back to their VIP room. They hadn't mention the affair to Spencer yet so Spencer assumed Ashley had cleared up everything. Everyone's smile fell as soon as they caught sight of Kyla. Her face was stained with tears and she looked hurt. Brand immediately ran up to her and took the seat next to her. "What's wrong baby?"

Kyla sniffled before answering. "She's such a bitch Mom." She spat out.

Spencer was taken aback by the venom in her tone. "Who?" Spencer quipped in as she made her way to the sitting pair.

"Ashley. She lied and then she got really mean." She sniffled again and buried her head in her mother's shoulder.

Brenda knew Kyla was a drama queen and exaggerates everything, so didn't think too much of their little spat. She mouthed for Spencer to go find Ashley, which Spencer willingly complied.

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Ashley walked out of the restaurant and leaned back against the nearest wall. There wasn't much privacy but she didn't care. She dug in her pocket and pulled out a box of cigarettes. She removed a single cigarette and placed it between her parted lips before lighting it. She was about to take her first drag when her cell phone rang. looking at the number, she groaned out of frustration and pushed the talk button. "Speak." She mumbled. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the restaurant doors open and knew it was Spencer already so didn't bother turning her head.

Spencer walked closer to the tense rock star and stopped at her side.

Ashley quickly glanced over at her and saw the worry look in her eyes before continuing her phone conversation. "Hold on for a moment Mick." She covered the phone's mouth piece and gave Spencer her undivided attention. "Do you need something?" Ashley didn't hold back the frustration she felt and it expressed clearly through her aggravated tone.

"Um….Kyla seems upset and I was worri-"

Ashley turned away and removed her hand. "Yeah Mick. I'm going to call you later." She closed her phone and faced Spencer again.

She met Spencer's gaze and waited for her to continue. "Go on." She pushed when Spencer failed to elaborate.

"Um." Spencer looked at Ashley with a puzzled expression and found it hard to speak. She hated this Ashley. The Ashley that acted like she was in charge of everyone and nothing but her own pleasure mattered.

Ashley's face hardened. "I was on a very important phone call before you came out here and ruined it. Now can I help you or not? Because you are wasting my time by standing there with that incredulous look on your face."

"Yes. You can start by not making me feel so….unwelcomed around you." Spencer said as she took a small step forward.

Ashley dropped her cell phone and cigarette. There were tons of people around them and she had to know. She had to know Spencer wouldn't push her away again. That Spencer would keep her in her arms and show the world she was the only thing that mattered to her. She closed her eyes in pleasure as Spencer walked into her arms and didn't hesitate wrapping her own arms around Spencer. Contentment replaced frustration and Ashley began to relax in the blonde's embrace. They stood like that a moment longer before Spencer tried to take a step back. Ashley's hands began to tremble as she waited to see what Spencer would do next.

They held each other at arms length and Spencer smiled warmly before taking another step back.

"No…." Ashley whispered as she watched Spencer put a safe distance between them. Spencer didn't love her. She thought solemnly and turned her head away in shame. She felt stupid. Really stupid. Especially after saying she planned on spending the rest of her life with Spencer. Her appetite shriveled away and she didn't want to face Kyla and Brenda again. "Excuse me." She mumbled before walking off.

Spencer watched as Ashley pulled out her cell phone and began pushing a serious of numbers. She brought the phone to her ear and started talking. A few minutes later Ashley closed her phone and approached her. "We're leaving." She stoically announced before turning back around.

Spencer grabbed her arm and turned her back around. "What do you mean we're leaving?" She asked with controlled anger. She wasn't one of Ashley's personal assistants and knew damn well she wasn't going to let Ashley treat her like one.

Ashley held up her cell phone. "Do you want me to look the words up in my dictionary?" She asked tauntingly.

Spencer abruptly removed her hand from Ashley's arm and crossed them over her chest. "Why are you acting like this?" She demanded out of frustration.

"I'm not acting like anything." She turned back around and started walking.

Spencer looked puzzled. She got over it and caught up with Ashley. "We're walking the wrong way." Ashley stopped and looked at her. "The limo's over there." She pointed towards the opposite direction.

"We're not taking the limo." Ashley replied evenly as she continued her walk.

Spencer bit back a groan and just walked next to Ashley. She wondered who Ashley was talking to on the phone and why they were just leaving without saying goodbye to Kyla or Brenda. She quickly glanced over at Ashley and saw the blank expression on her face. She sighed lightly and looked around LA. It was a nice city with a lot of different types of people roaming the streets. She looked at the sky and smiled warmly. It was cloudy but the moon was full and casted a romantic hue down on earth. Without thinking, she grasped Ashley's hand and lifted it up to her lips, gently kissing her upturned palm, she smiled against the soft tan skin before pulling her head away. She didn't want to fight with Ashley tonight. She just wanted them to have a relaxing fun time together.

Smiling, Ashley turned her head and met Spencer's tranquil gaze. A silent agreement passed through them as they continued to gaze into one another's eyes. No more fighting. "We're almost there." Ashley said softly as she intertwined their fingers.

Spencer didn't know what Ashley was talking about but trusted her judgment and willingly followed.

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Ashley took a deep breath, reveling in the strawberry that scented the sweet blonde hair under nose. "You smell so good." She whispered in her ear, "Just a little longer."She murmured huskily and placed a tender kiss on the soft skin behind Spencer's ear.

Spencer felt Goosebumps rising on her skin as Ashley continued playing with her ear. She was stunned when Ashley mentioned a surprise earlier and requested to cover her eyes. At first she was a little hesitant but then got over it and gave Ashley permission to do so. A large smile lined her lips when she felt incredibly warm hands cover her closed eye lids. They both started walking slowly towards their destination with Spencer loving the closeness of their bodies and Ashley loving the woman in her arms.

"Alright stop." Ashley commanded softly. "I'm going to uncover your eyes but keep them closed." At Spencer's nod Ashley removed her hands from closed eyes and moved them down to her waist. "Now take off your shoes."

Spencer giggled as she slipped off her shoes and felt Ashley do the same. "Now step forward." Spencer took a cautious step forward, pulling Ashley along with her, and gasped lightly when her bare feet made contact with the grainy ground.

The cool sand felt wonderful on their feet, and the soft ocean breeze had an equally soothing effect on both teens. "You can open them now." Ashley whispered hotly as she wrapped her arms around Spencer's waist.

Spencer moaned lightly when she felt Ashley's hot breath against her ear, her stiff nipples against her back, and her lips on her neck, sending an instant jolt of arousal between her legs. With hooded eyes, Spencer looked around and realized they were at the beach. There was no one around, due to the late time, making it all the more enjoyable. The sky was dark and clear with the stars shinning brightly above the dark waters. Spencer closed her eyes again and leaned back into the body that held her, enjoying the sound of the waves lapping against the shore.

After a while of just holding Spencer, Ashley reluctantly pulled away.

Spencer missed the warmth of the body behind her and turned towards Ashley, a full pout etched plainly of her features. Ashley chuckled and kissed her pouting lips. "So much to do so little time." Was all Ashley said before taking Spencer's hand and leading them towards the small spot she had set up for them earlier.

Spencer smiled at the soft yellow blanket sitting in the middle of the beach and turned to Ashley. "When did you do this?" She asked as she sat down on the soft cotton. She ran her fingers over the soft material before lying back, closing her eyes, a lazy smile lined her lips as she continued to listen to the ocean waves.

"Before I went to the studio."

Spencer nodded her head slowly, waiting for Ashley to lie next her. After a while, She slowly opened her eyes and her breath caught at seeing Ashley's naked form standing proudly in front of her. Her eyes traveled slowly up the rock star's body, taking in her neatly trimmed hair surrounding her mound, taunt abdomen, full breasts and smiling brown eyes. "Di..did you say something?" She asked in a weird voice.

"uh huh." Ashley responded extremely amused by the blonde's reaction to her body. "I said, 'your turn'." She repeated grinning evilly.

Spencer snapped out of her aroused daze and stared suspiciously at Ashley. "My turn to do what?"

"Strip." She purred.

"An..and then?" Spencer stuttered as she tried to decide what was more nerve racking, publically sleeping with Ashley on the beach, or swimming in shark infested waters.

"And then we swim with the fishies." Ashley saw the fearful expression on Spencer's face and wondered what brought that on. "Come on, Spencer. It's really fun." She urged as she offered the stone scared Spencer her hand, intent on helping her up.

"Fishies?" Spencer gulped as she took the offered hand and, with Ashley's help, propelled herself up.

"Fishies, turtles, whales, seals, crabs – but stay WAY away from crabs. They may look cute but they're really just little bastards with claws."

"And you want me to go swimming in there? With all those wild animals!" Spencer gasped out incredulously.

"Yep. And I don't mean ankle deep either, I mean deep deep. At least up to our waist so we can splash around, maybe catch a dolphin or two." She teased.

"Or their cousins." She squeaked out, as she thought about the thousands of hungry sharks swimming around, waiting for their next meal.

"Don't be scared Spencer. It's safe, I promise." Ashley reassured her with a charming smile and truthful tone. "I haven't lost a date yet."

"You've done this with a girl before?" She asked curiously.

Ashley looked up and pursed her lips in thought. "Nope." She looked back in Spencer's eyes. "But you know what they say, First is the…" She stopped talking when she remembered how that phrase ended.

"Worst." Spencer finished with a small eye roll. "I feel a whole lot better Ashley. Thanks."

"Anytime, buddy." She pulled Spencer into a quick hug and then pulled back. "Now strip." She playfully commanded. Spencer's eyes held a lot of uncertainty and fear that it nearly broke Ashley's heart. "Spencer." She said in a more gentle serious tone. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Spencer looked a little flustered as she answered, "You'll probably think it's stupid."

"I'll be the judge of that." Ashley said before sitting down on the soft blanket. She looked up and met Spencer's amused eyes, patting the space next to her, she motioned for Spencer to sit.

Spencer couldn't believe how relaxed Ashley was with her naked body. She acted like it was no big deal sitting cross legged while naked. She obviously had no problems with modesty, Spencer thought as she kept her gaze on Ashley's face while kneeling down to sit next to her, surprised by how comfortable she felt around the naked rock star.

"Okay so spill it." She fixed her brown eyes intently on Spencer.

She looked very shy as she started her story. "Well as you know I grew up in Ohio and stayed there until now." Ashley just nodded and motioned for her to continue. "Well when I was 14 I had a few friends over the house and we got very bored of just sitting around watching TV so we went outside to find something…..daring to do." Ashley's mind instantly thought up drugs, group sex, and even shop lifting, and found herself enjoying the story but then frowned when she realized how sad Spencer's eyes had gotten and all Ashley's joy instantly turned into sorrow. Spencer sighed before continuing. "We snuck over to my neighbor's farm and ran straight to his pond. Old man Jameson was not a nice guy and hated when 'hooligans' crossed his fence and swam in his pond or pool. But we were so bored and the day was so hot that we didn't care what old man Jameson thought. After we changed into our swim suits, we immediately jumped off the dock and into the water. We started swimming and having a great time just hanging out," Spencer's eyes sparkled at the memory but then dulled a second later. "But then he came out with his…..shotgun." Spencer fought back tears as she continued, Ashley covered Spencer's hand with her own, showing her support. Spencer stared at their hands as she spoke, "We all froze on the spot while Mr. Jameson wailed his gun around while ranting about us trespassing. Something swam under me and brushed against my leg," She froze before whispering, "I screamed."

Ashley just stared at her not knowing what to say. A part of her wanted Spencer to just finish the story and kill her growing curiosity while the other part wanted her to forget about the story, and their swim, and head back to the tour bus like they had planned. Both thoughts flew out her mind when she noticed the tears running down Spencer's face. "Hey," She gently said as she wrapped her arms around Spencer's sobbing form, lying back, she rested Spencer's head above her breast and started stroking her hair, trying to comfort the upset blonde. "It's okay." She kept murmuring, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh god Ashley. It's all my fault." She kept mumbling between sobs, hearing Ashley's words in the back of her mind, but not believing in them. It wasn't okay and she knew it was never going to be okay. After she ran out of tears she slowly raised her head and looked down into Ashley's loving gaze. Her eyes closed as a gentle hand came up and began to tenderly wipe her tears away.

"You don't have to finish, Spencer." Ashley softly stated as she drew her hand back.

Spencer opened her eyes and slowly shook her head no. "I think I do."

"Spencer…"

"I'm going to finish the story Ashley." Spencer's sad but defiant eyes bore intently into Ashley's.

Ashley sighed in defeat, "Okay." She reluctantly agreed.

Spencer placed her head back above Ashley's breast and continued her story while Ashley's hand messaged her scalp. "My scream startled everyone, including Mr. Jameson, and he accidently pulled the trigger." She closed her eyes and in her mind heard the sound of the gun going off. "He shot one of my friends in the head. His name was Nathan and I killed him." She didn't cry as she finished the story but a wave of nausea washed over her as the memory replayed in her mind. "I haven't gone swimming since then, and I'm uncomfortable with the thought of any sea creature touching me."

Ashley thought a moment and stopped stroking her hair. "I would have never brought you here if I knew that," She quietly said. "Do you want to leave now?"

Spencer shook her head no. "Can you just hold me a little longer?" She whispered softly.

Ashley turned her head and kissed the top of Spencer's head.

"I'll hold you forever Spencer."

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Ashley lied on her back with Spencer's body covering her own, choking back a moan as she felt soft blonde hair briefly brush over an exposed nipple. Spencer lifted her head and looked into Ashley's eyes. Grey eyes filled with sorrow and pain blinked dreamily down at the rock star as Spencer's soft features came closer to hers. Their lips touched softly and moved gently against one another as tongues began to clash with vigorous intensity, quickly replacing gentle explorations with desperate passion, engulfing both teens as their kisses became hard and demanding. A soft click echoed faintly throughout the deserted beach, Ashley froze at hearing the faint noise and unconsciously tilted her head in question. Spencer felt the body underneath her tense and broke the kiss, panting with arousal she asked, "What's wrong?"

"Don't tell me you didn't hear that." Ashley groused, highly frustrated and annoyed at whatever interrupted them.

"Hear what?" Spencer asked with a hint of panic creeping into her voice. Friday the 13th scenes began to play in her mind as she watched Ashley sit up and look over the beach. Her heart began to race as she pictured a man with a hockey mask for a face chasing after them, while flailing around a chainsaw or machete, intent on cutting them into itty bitty pieces before selling them to the black market. Frightened grey eyes scanned frantically over the beach, looking for help or at least good hiding spot, and smiled when she found both. A gorgeous white two story beach house sat close to where they lied and Spencer couldn't believe their good fortune. It was almost too good to be true, she thought with a furrowed brow. And then it hit her. Their psychotic killer could be in there planning their deaths. A new wave of panic washed over her and she cursed herself for falling asleep through the only Friday the 13th movie she watched. Surely one of the kids had to have survived Jason's wrath, she just didn't know which one or how he or she did it.

Suspicious brown eyes stopped surveying the beach and focused on Spencer. Her face was completely pale as scared grey eyes darted wildly around the beach, seeming to look for an escape. Ashley was confused and then worried by the frightened blonde's appearance. She had no idea what was running through her pretty blonde head but knew, by her shaken demeanor, it wasn't good. "Spencer, are you okay?" She asked with concern.

Spencer seemed to consider the question before answering, choosing her words carefully. She gazed dazedly at her as she spoke. "I don't want to die, Ashley." She threw herself into Ashley's arms. Not hesitating, the puzzled rock star enveloped the troubled blonde into her arms, rocking her soothingly as she listened to her speak, "I mean I know we all die sometime but come on. How fair is it to be killed by some psycho and his gardening tool!" She exclaimed while nuzzling Ashley's warm neck.

It took all of Ashley's self control to keep from laughing at the terrified blonde and her crazy thoughts. She had no idea Spencer had such a wild imagination and found it extremely adorable. "Spencer, we're not going to die." She soothed. "But I can't say the same for the bastard with the camera." Her voice took on a familiar edge it held when talking about the paparazzi.

"Camera?" Spencer asked as she pulled back. "What kind of weapon is a camera?" She inquired as she stared into flaming brown eyes.

"The perfect weapon if you want to piss off a celebrity." Ashley answered in a surprisingly bitter tone.

"Oh like the paparazzi." She drawled out slowly while considering what Ashley was telling her. "How do you know it's a guy with a camera and not a chainsaw?"

"Well the noise I heard was like a click." She looked up and pursed her lips in thought. "I don't think chainsaws click. And if they do they're probably a lot louder than what I heard." She looked back at Spencer and placed a tiny kiss on her lips. "I'll take care of this." Ashley reassured as she leaned over to their discarded clothes. After grabbing her black Motorola razor, she stood up and walked towards the water.

With Spencer safely out of earshot, she flipped open her phone and started pushing a series of numbers. She brought the black phone to her ear and waited patiently for someone to answer. "Ms. Davies." A gruff voice on the other line answered.

"Did you see anyone follow us from 'Dolce'?" She questioned with an attitude.

He sighed heavily before answering. "Ms. Davies we wouldn't be doing our job correctly if we allowed someone to follow you home."

"Who's with you?" Ashley asked as she stepped into the frigid salt water, loving the feel of the soggy sand between her toes.

"Roscoe and Garrison. You're speaking to Micheals."

"Look around the house, but be very quiet. I don't want Spencer to know about you guys yet."

"Yes, Ms. Davies."

"Alright, bye." Ashley closed her phone and turned around. Her throat went dry as she watched Spencer slowly disband of her clothes. The rock star stared at her a moment, her features were outlined in moonlight, making her glow. "Wha……" Ashley found herself momentarily dumbstruck as Spencer kicked off her panties. She lost all ability to speak and knew she was drooling but didn't care.

"See something you like?" Spencer helped as she trotted over to the dumbstruck teen. She smiled at Ashley's slow nod and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. "Good. Now, are you ready to catch a couple of dolphins?" She joked weakly.

Ashley snapped out of her daze and stared unsurely at Spencer. "I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, Spencer." She said gently while threading their fingers together.

Spencer stepped forward and dipped her head. Her lips met Ashley's in a slow languid kiss that inexorably intensified. With a soft moan she pulled back and leaned her forehead against Ashley's. "Thank you for caring, Ashley. It means a lot to me but I really think it's time for me to move on and try getting into the water again." She said softly.

Ashley stared intently into Spencer's eyes for a moment, seeing the determination etched clearly in her deep grey orbs, she smiled and nodded her head in agreement. "Well I guess it's now or never then, right?"

Spencer's lips quirked into a large smile filled with joy and excitement, "Yep." She replied as she stepped into the frigid waters. "Jesus! That's cold!" She looked over at Ashley and saw nothing but enjoyment washing over her serene features. "You're used to this." She stated in awe, ignoring her now numb ankles.

"I come here a lot when I'm in town." Ashley's eyes became very solemn. "or to escape."

Spencer tilted her head in question. "Escape?"

Ashley slowly nodded her head and looked down at the water washing over her feet, thinking about Kyla and how she was going to fix things with her. After a moment she looked back over at Spencer and flashed her a strained smile. "Let's go catch a couple of dolphins." She said with forced enthusiasm she wasn't feeling. Ashley held out her hand to the blonde and waited patiently for her to take it.

The strained smile and abrupt change in subject was not lost on Spencer and she debated whether she should question it or not. Taking Ashley's offered hand, she smiled back and decided to let it go for now. "I'm game."

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The next 20 minutes was spent splashing around in the water. After getting use to the water temperature, Spencer had fun standing waist deep in the ocean, playing with Ashley. They splashed, dunked, and tackled each other before capturing each other's lips in a playful kiss. Ashley broke the kiss and smiled languorously at Spencer. Silently, she took Spencer's hand and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. They both smiled knowingly as Ashley led them back to shore. Upon reaching the blanket, the wet blonde lied on her back with Ashley settling herself above her, propping herself up on her elbows; she locked happy grey eyes with her own while staring lovingly down at Spencer. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, Spencer Carlin." She whispered while looking deeply into her eyes. The water droplets covering her naked body sparkled gorgeously in the moonlight, stunning Spencer speechless. For a moment the world faded out as the rock star brushed her knuckles against the blonde's face. Slowly, Ashley moved down and met Spencer's lips, moaning as she felt Spencer's legs wrap around her waist.

Their kiss was gentle and slow unlike the hard demanding ones they had shared earlier. After a while, Ashley pulled back and stared down at Spencer. She knew it was different now. It wasn't fucking to her anymore, making things more painful. Tonight Spencer would be hers, all to herself on the beach but tomorrow night, in Vegas, in her hotel room, in her bed, it will be a groupie or she'll be alone, with Spencer in the other room fucking Aiden. A flash of pain filled sad brown eyes as she continued to gaze down at the cause of her pain. Feeling angry, she fought back the urge to brutally lash out at the blonde by telling herself this affair was her fault, and when she really thought about it, she didn't want to leave Spencer. Feeling trapped, she brought her head down and their lips met once again. Desperation replaced gentleness as lips parted and tongues began to dance together. All thoughts soon vanished as Ashley felt Spencer's hips slowly move against her. Shifting a little, she ran her hand up and down the blonde's arm then over to her chest, exploring the soft skin above an aching nipple. She fought off the urge to just ravish both mounds and continued kissing the sweet mouth moving against her own. Lowering her head, Ashley's mouth found the wet flesh of Spencer's throat. She sucked and nipped lightly at the pulse point before continuing down. She heard Spencer moan her name and instinctively grasped Spencer's nipple between her fingers, teasing the swollen bud, as her tongue began licking its way to the hollow of her throat, tasting the skin she found there before her mouth continued down towards her chest. She captured the object of her affection using her teeth. The blonde gasped as Ashley began sucking the aching nipple greedily.

Ashley felt an eager hand cup the back of her head, pushing her deeper into the blonde's breast. Her other hand continued playing the nub between her fingers, the blonde's groans encouraging her to suck harder and then gently rake her teeth over it before tearing her mouth away. "I love…." Ashley gasped as she stared into Spencer's flushed face. "Being with you." She finished quietly.

Spencer grinned sheepishly. "Me too." She purred while running her hands up and down the expanse of Ashley's back. "You're so good at this."

Ashley's face hardened at the response and she felt like a toy again. She looked away from puzzled grey eyes and visibly flinched when she felt Spencer cup the bruised side of her face. "What's wrong?" She heard the blonde ask.

Looking into the grey eyes she loved and hated so much, she smiled softly and murmured, "Nothing." dishonestly while bending her head. She began feasting on one of the blonde's breasts as her hand busied itself with the opposite one. Her sullenness was soon forgotten and she became more aroused as Spencer's moans filled the ocean air and her ears. She felt the blonde's hips pick up speed and soon Spencer was grinding wildly against her, coating the skin on her waist with wetness that had nothing to do with the water.

"You feel so fucking good, Spencer." Ashley groaned around the breast in her mouth. She looked up and met Spencer's gaze. Her eyes were a dark indigo, further arousing the feasting rock star as she continued to watch the woman she loved moan her name. She removed her hand from Spencer's breast and trailed it down to her thigh, caressing the soft skin she found there. Her fingers sensually moved up and down her leg, causing Spencer's hips to move faster. Ashley released the nipple in her mouth and latched onto the skin of Spencer's throat, sucking furiously along her neck. Leaning back a little, she slid her hand between their bodies and groaned as her fingers slipped between her slick folds and began to glide along her wetness. "So fucking good." Ashley repeated as her fingers began to move around her swollen clit, loving the moans of pleasure coming out of Spencer's mouth as she continued teasing her oversensitive engorged bud. Tearing her mouth off Spencer's neck, she tucked her face against the warm spot between Spencer's neck and shoulder, panting heavily against her wet skin while their bodies moved fully against each other. Spencer's moans became more desperate as Ashley's hand began to move faster, her fingers moving frantically over the wet sensitive nub. She picked her head up and captured Spencer's lips in a passionate kiss.

Spencer's heart continued to race furiously against her chest as she felt the beginning of her orgasm wash over her. She pulled Ashley closer to her with her legs and slightly arched her back as Ashley's fingers moved faster against her. Ashley broke their kiss and bit down on Spencer's shoulder as the blonde closed her eyes and threw her head back in ecstasy. "Oh god Ashley! I…I….I'm coming!" She cried out as she felt her release hit.

Meeting Spencer's gaze, she watched the woman she loved go over the edge and knew she could never let go. She loved Spencer and knew there was no other for her. "That's it, love." She murmured softly while watching the after shocks race through the recovering blonde. She removed her hand from the blonde's center and wrapped her arms around her lover, resting her head on the blonde's limp shoulder, she relished the closeness they had just shared. Feeling Spencer's hands lightly massage her scalp, she closed her eyes and soon fell into a tiring sleep.

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Ashley slowly opened her eyes and smiled when she realized she was still in Spencer's arms. Burrowing deeper into the embrace, she tightened her hold on the blonde and vowed to never let go. Her smile was short lived and soon faded into a frown.

Who was she kidding? She knew once they left the beach everything would go back to reality. Spencer would be too afraid to be seen with her in public and will avoid her completely, only to apologize later for it by using her body, making Ashley feel sick. She didn't want to be Spencer's whore anymore, the thought alone made her feel cheap and dirty. Her mind wandered back to the past and she thought about all the women her father called his whores. She hated them immensely. They would crowd the tour bus, usually wearing nothing, and spend all their time around her father, fondling, kissing, and fucking him for nothing at all, hoping the man would choose one of them as his wife and give her everything she ever wanted. Of course that never happened and she was disgusted by them for trying to make that happen, and spent most of her time in the back room playing her guitar, while they 'served' her father. Closing her eyes in pain, she now felt like one of those women. Doing all of these things to Spencer, hoping the blonde would one day choose her over Aiden and give her what she wanted the most, her heart.

Slowly pulling back, Ashley's eyes fluttered open and met Spencer's blissful gaze. The rock star's eyes were filled with sadness and defeat that she didn't try to hide in her expressive brown eyes. Her lips parted to speak, intent on calling the whole thing off, but nothing came out. Instead she dipped her head and captured the blonde's lips in a needy kiss, expressing all of the yearn and fear she felt. She stopped thinking all together and decided nothing mattered anymore. Nothing but the blonde in her arms. She felt Spencer's hands begin to caress her face, back, hair, and  
lost herself in the blonde's touch. Rolling over on her back, she pulled Spencer on top of her, loving the little yelp that escaped the blonde's lips. They wasted no time finding each other's lips again as hands began to caress and hips began to move. Ashley moaned when she felt Spencer's hand and mouth on her breasts and started moving urgently against the thigh nestled between her legs. After a while they started rocking urgently against each other with Spencer kneading Ashley's breasts. It wasn't long before Ashley felt the familiar signs of an orgasm. Arching her back, she closed her eyes and screamed the blonde's name. Spencer watched Ashley go over the edge and placed little butterfly kisses all over her flushed tan face.

They both lied in each other's arms, just holding each other.

"We have to get going." Ashley murmured lazily while stroking the blonde disheveled head resting on her breast.

Spencer chuckled and kissed the skin under her cheek. "You don't sound too convincing, Ashley um, hey what is your middle name anyway?" She asked while picking her head up. Questioning grey eyes met laughing brown as they gazed into one another eyes.

" Camryn." Ashley answered simply. "Ashley Camryn Davies."

"Cute." Spencer chuckled as she leaned forward, placing a tender kiss on Ashley's moist lips. "It suites you." She murmured as she kissed down Ashley's jaw.

Ashley bit back a moan as she felt the blonde's lips sucking lightly on her pulse point. "I was named after my uncle." She breathed, feeling the blonde nip at the hollow of her throat. "Ashton Camryn Davies. He died the morning I was born, and that mouth better not go any lower." She playfully warned in a slightly husky voice.

Spencer picked her head up and flashed Ashley a sexy smile. "It wants to go higher anyway." She purred as she captured Ashley's lips in a passionate kiss. Slipping her tongue into the rock star's mouth, she moaned deep in her throat when she felt a gentle tan hand cup her breast. Chuckling, she broke the kiss and nipped lightly at Ashley's chin. "What happened to we have to get going?" She teased while watching the rock star's fingers tease her breast.

Ashley smiled and fully sat up, taking a ready nipple in her mouth as she did so. Spencer sat on her knees, straddling Ashley's thigh, moaning as she thrust her chest forward, giving Ashley more of her creamy mound. "How did your uncle die?" She rasped while burying her hands in dark auburn waves.

Ashley kept her mouth attached to the blonde's creamy flesh as she answered, "Drumtoast."

Spencer playfully grabbed a handful of hair and pulled the rock star off her breast. Ashley looked up at her with her lip sticking out in a little pout. Spencer smiled as she leaned forward, nibbling on her pouting lip before raking her teeth over it. "Say that again?"

Ashley sighed. "Drug overdose." She replied tersely before retaking the breast in her mouth.

Spencer debated whether she should give into her curiosity and ask more about Ashton or let Ashley continue kneading to her breast. "Were you guys close?" She asked, giving into her curiosity.

Groaning, Ashley removed her mouth from the firm mound she was thoroughly enjoying. Feeling a little disappointed, she laid back on the blanket while crossing her hands behind her head, knowing their sexual moment was over. "If you were listening earlier, you would have heard me say he died the day I was born." She explained patiently.

"Oh yeah." Spencer chuckled while changing positions. She stretched out on her side, curling up against the rock star, and propped her head in one hand. "Was Pops close to him?" She asked while lazily trailing a finger up and down Ashley's bare abdomen.

Ashley felt chills run down her spine as she reacted to her lovers touch. "Um…I think so. I don't think he would've named me after someone he hated." She paused. "But then again he might have hated me from the start and decided to name me in spite." She added casually.

Spencer stopped her finger and placed her open palm face down on her stomach. "Pops doesn't hate you Ashley." She said seriously. "He's your father and I know he loves you like a father loves his daughter."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "You can't really believe that." She stated in disbelief while making eye contact. Spencer nodded her head yes causing Ashley to snort. "Are all farm girls as naïve as you?" She asked edgily.

Spencer frowned at being called a farm girl. "Are all city slickers jerks or is it just you?" She countered.

Sensually moving forward, Ashley pushed Spencer on her back, hovering over the offended blonde, she placed a soft kiss on her lips. "It's just me." She murmured while placing another kiss on her lips.

Spencer smiled and broke the kiss. "You're out of this world, you know that?"

Ashley smiled back. "I do now." She replied placing a final kiss on her sweet lips. Ashley smiled down at the blonde before standing up. "We really do have to get going." She said stretching like a lazy cat before walking over to their discarded clothes.

Spencer watched Ashley move around naked, collecting their clothes, and was amazed by how comfortable she seemed.

"Spencer." Ashley warned with her back facing the blonde. When she didn't answer Ashley turned around and raised an eyebrow at the blonde's admirable gaze. "What are you looking at?" She asked amused.

Spencer grinned impishly. "Your perfect ass." She purred seductively.

Ashley smiled and rolled her eyes while saying "We'll get all of this later."

Dropping the clothes in her arms, Ashley offered Spencer her hand.

Puzzled, Spencer accepted Ashley's hand. Standing up, she looked at the clothes and then back at Ashley's now retreating form. "Wait." She said while catching up with her. "How can we go anywhere like this?" She asked, referring to their naked bodies.

Ashley smiled and took Spencer's hand. "Trust me?" She asked with a hopeful expression on her face.

"Yes." Spencer answered without hesitation.

Ashley's smile widened. "Then follow me."

Spencer stepped forward and placed a kiss on her lips. "Alright, lead the way."

Spencer's heart began to race as they walked up the small steps leading to the large glass door, attached to the back of the gorgeous beach home. "Ashley?" She whispered carefully. "Whose house is this?"

Ashley stepped closer to the door and opened a small key pad attached to the wall. Putting in the 4 digit code, she turned to Spencer and smiled. "Mine."

"What!" Spencer exclaimed as she stared at the rock star in disbelief.

"Don't look at me like that." Ashley playfully chided. "It's true." She said while motioning towards the opening door.

Spencer turned her attention to the door and then back at Ashley. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

Ashley shrugged. "You didn't ask."

Spencer playfully swatted her upper arm. "Do I get a nickel tour of this place to?" She asked knowingly.

"Yes." Ashley confidently answered while making a enter gesture with her arms.

Spencer stepped forward and entered the two story building with a giddy rock star following behind.

Ashley turned on the lights to the living room and smiled sheepishly at Spencer.

Spencer stared at the large, gorgeous, empty room in confusion. Looking at Ashley she asked. "How long have you lived here?"

"A little over a year." She answered quietly.

Spencer's eyes bugged out. "Over a year! Ashley this place looks deserted." She exclaimed in bewilderment.

Ashley groaned and walked over to her. "I haven't had much time to furnish and buy crap for it yet." She explained while placing her hands on Spencer's hips. "But, I didn't bring you here to impress you with all of the expensive things I should have." She leaned forward and suckled lightly on her earlobe. "I came here to impress you with my showering skills." She purred hotly in her ear.

Spencer blushed furiously and lightly cleared her throat. Stepping back a little, she met Ashley's gaze. "If we're showering together then we're setting the water on VERY cold and no touching allowed." She chuckled at Ashley's outraged expression. "I'm sorry, rock star, but we're already really late and I'm sure the boys are really pissed off by now."

Ashley groaned and reluctantly agreed with Spencer. "Fine. But I get to wash your back……..and front…….with my tongue."

"Ohh you." Spencer cooed before placing a tender kiss on the rock star's lips, moaning a little as she pulled back.

"Don't start moaning yet, Spence." Ashley teased while taking her hand, "We haven't gotten to that part yet."

After a quick G rated shower both girls raided Ashley's closet and quickly dressed. Spencer wore forest green cargo pants with a plain white t shirt and black flip flops. Her hair was still damp after blow drying it but looked decent. She walked out of the house and headed to the beach, intent on collecting their clothes and phones.

Ashley finished with her hair and makeup and grabbed her car keys. She wore a black Led Zeppelin band T shirt, jeans, and Draven Misfits Slip Ons. After turning off all of the lights in the house, she walked into the large garage, attached to the beach house, and pushed the unlock button on the small remote hooked onto her key chain. The 300 thousand dollar whiteLamborghini Gallardo Spyder lit up and automatically opened both scissor doors. Ashley stepped inside and opened the large garage door with a small remote sitting on the head board. Pulling out, she parked in front of the blonde, standing in her front yard holding all of their things, and popped opened the trunk. She pushed the close button on the garage door control and got out of the car. After helping the blonde arrange everything in the trunk, they both got in the car and drove down the street.

"Nice ride." Spencer complimented as she grasped the driving teen's hand. "Is this one of those Mustang things?" She asked while looking at everything. The interior inside of the car was black with white stitching, not surprising Spencer. She couldn't picture Ashley driving something with pink furry seats, unlike herself.

Ashley quickly glanced over at her, and smiled softly. "How much do you know about cars?" She asked casually, assuming the blonde knew nothing at all.

Spencer chewed on her bottom lip before answering. "Not much." She admitted. "But motor vehicles must not be such a big deal since I got accepted into top schools without knowing a thing about them." She turned fully in her seat, facing Ashley, and stuck her index finger at her. "So you can't make fun of me!" She declared in a sing song voice.

"I wasn't going to." Ashley lied. "But to answer your question, no, this isn't a mustang. This is a white 2007 Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder . It's not mine though." She explained and then elaborated when she saw the questioning look in Spencer's eyes. "My da- Pops has this friend who owns a big car dealer ship in Vegas and he lends me some of his new things until I decide to buy or return them. This is only my second time driving this, so I really don't know if I like it or not."

"Well I like it." Spencer commented as she closed her eyes and leaned back in her seat. "It's really pretty."

Ashley grinned wickedly and looked around for cops, not seeing any, she stared intently at the empty streets a head of her and pushed hard on the gas. The car started picking up speed and in 3 seconds they were going over 60 miles per hour.

Spencer tightly shut her eyes and buried her head against Ashley's shoulder, not liking the high speeds. "Ashley." She half groaned half pleaded.

Ashley heard the blonde and smoothly slowed the car down to speed limit. "Are you okay?" She asked as she watched Spencer slowly pull back.

"I think so." She whispered as she felt her heart start to slow down. Smiling up at Ashley, she exclaimed, "That was so freaking scary but kind of fun at the same time." She inquired thoughtfully. "Do you do that a lot?"

Ashley grinned. "Only when I want to give someone a heart attack." She teased.

Spencer leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss on her cheek. Thinking, my heart doesn't need anymore attacks from you, Ashley Camryn Davies.

Ashley pulled up into Pop's mansion and opened both scissor doors using the remote. She stepped out of the car and closed both doors as she walked over to the stretching blonde. "Nervous?" She asked while burying her hands in her pockets, trying to keep from taking Spencer's hand. Now that they were off the beach and into reality everything was different. She knew they couldn't kiss whenever they wanted to or even hold hands anymore, because of the paparazzi or anyone else around. That, and Spencer was obviously uncomfortable being physical with her outside closed secluded doors. It bothered Ashley in a lot of ways and it took everything she had to keep from showing her anger.

Spencer groaned. "Are we dealing with bitchy guys?" She asked, hoping they weren't.

"Oh yeah." Ashley replied while putting her key in the key hole. She turned the key and opened the door, saying "After you." While holding open the door.

Spencer smiled and placed a rushed kiss on her cheek. It was nothing more than a peck, Ashley noted with some discomfort, as she followed Spencer inside. They walked timidly into the main room and both silently sighed in relief when they saw Glen and Clay sleeping soundly on the couch. "Still think they'll bitch?" Spencer whispered near Ashley's ear.

Ashley just shrugged and whispered back, "Only one way to find out." She grabbed a red fender guitar sitting in the corner of the room and turned on the guitar amp hooked up to it. Turning up the volume, she took out a pick and quickly brought it down on the six strings, playing the opening chords to Iron Maiden's 'The Trooper'.

Both boys immediately shot up and stared groggily at Ashley. "What the hell?" Glen shouted over Ashley's obnoxiously loud, but amazingly played, song.

Ashley stopped playing and grinned evilly at the boys. "We have to get going." She said while taking off her guitar. "Is the bus ready?" She asked seriously, referring to their enormous tour bus parked in the back driveway.

Yawning, Glen stood from the couch and shrugged. "I hope so."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Well go find out." She snapped while pulling out her cell phone.

The moments before leaving on the tour bus was always stressful for the rock star. Twice the rodies had forgotten to pack some of her most imported things, including her favorite guitars, in the past two years. Since those two times she's requested a thorough check to be done every time they leave.

Glen knew Ashley was sensitive about making sure everything was solid before they left and went towards the back to check on the rodies and their stuff.

Ashley quickly dialed her personal assistance number and brought the cell to her ear. "Where are you?" She asked after Rachael answered.

"I'm with your father, Ms. Davies." The tired voice responded.

"Are you leaving to Vegas on a plane?" She asked as she walked out of the room.

"Yep."

"Fine." She closed her phone and shoved it in her back pocket. Walking into the kitchen, Ashley went straight to the medicine cabinet and took out a small bottle of Tylenol. Opening the small bottle, she shook out two tablets and tossed them into her mouth before washing them down with water.

"Are you okay?" She heard Spencer ask.

Ashley turned her head and smiled at the blonde standing next to her. "Fine, just have a head ache." She answered honestly. At the blondes concerned expression she changed the subject. "We should get on the bus now." She said while turning around.

Spencer nodded her head in agreement and followed behind the rock star.

Both girls entered the large tour bus with Ashley feeling calm and Spencer feeling excited. She had never been on anything like a tour bus and thought it looked exactly like a house on wheels. There were two green leather love seats that faced each other with a TV hanging on the corner wall. A booth sat under the TV with a large fridge sitting across from it and a large window placed next to it. 2 sets of bunk beds attached to the walls sat next to the small bathroom that only had a small sink, toilet, and shower. A large master bedroom took over the remaining space of the bus with Ashley's name engraved expertly on the expensive wood door.

"Wow." Was all Spencer could utter at that moment. "This is really cool." She added while looking around.

Ashley smiled at the blonde's enthusiasm. "I know." She said. Just then Glen walked in sticking his thumb up.

"Everything is solid." He said while walking over to Spencer. Wrapping an arm around both her shoulders he asked, "So what do you think of your new home sweet home?"

"It's great." The smiling blonde said wrapping her arm around Glen's slender waist. "Are there any rules?" She asked while looking up at him.

Ashley walked past the two blondes and opened the large refrigerator door as she answered the blonde's question. "No sex." She answered without looking up. "Not one of my favorites."

"Hey I don't want to fall asleep to some stranger screaming Ashley all night long." Glen said and looked over at Spencer. "Do you?"

Spencer looked away and blushed furiously. Ashley closed the refrigerator door and looked over at Spencer, wondering if she should tell her Glen knows about them. She didn't know how the blonde would take the news but did know she wouldn't like it.

"No." She answered meekly. Looking at the rock star she asked, "Do you feel the same way?"

"I really don't have to worry about that." She said. "Both boys have girlfriends. But if they were fucking groupies I don't think it'd bother me too much."

"Okay but what if….." Spencer trailed off when she heard her name being called from outside. She immediately recognized the voice as Clay's."Be right back." She said while removing her arm from Glen's waist.

Both teens watched the small blonde leave the bus before Glen turned his attention back to Ashley. "Would it bother you if the one having sex was Spencer?" He asked as tactfully as possible, wanting to know how serious Ashley and Spencer were.

"Not if I was the one she was having it with." She answered truthfully.

"What if she was having it with Aiden?" He clarified. "Would that bother you?"

"I have no control or say in what she does with her boyfriend." She stated without emotion. "But to answer your question, yes, the idea of Spencer sleeping with Aiden does bother me."

"Then why are you doing this?" He asked while staring into sad brown eyes. "You know she's going to do that with him. So why are you hurting yourself like this!" He demanded while closing the distance between them. "Is fucking her for a couple of hours every now and then worth what you're putting yourself through, Ash?" He asked softly while gently wiping away the tear trailing down her face.

"I love her, Glen." She admitted quietly. "I….I think it's worth it if I can make her love me back. I just don't know how." Pleading brown eyes met caring blue. "How do I make her love me?"

Ashley looked around ten years old and Glen had never seen her look this confused and unsure about anything in all of his four years knowing her. He knew Ashley had no experience in anything past sex, making this relationship even more difficult for the rock star, and found himself pulling Ashley into his arms and placing a tender kiss on her temple. "Don't worry, Bud. Everything will work out." He hoped.

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Glen shook off his jacket and walked straight to the TV. The band had just finished playing their 2nd big show on the tonight show and the 17 year old blonde felt amazing. Pushing the small power button on the TV, he turned around and hopped on the large bed in the middle of the guest room. He felt his eyes start to close after watching 20 minutes of Roseanne and then quickly opened them when he heard soft knocks at the door. "Come in." He called out while sitting up against the head board.

The door slowly opened and a little girl with natural brunette curls framing her face walked in and took a seat on the bed. Her lips were lined in a frown as she stared into concerned blue eyes. "I hate Pops." The 13 year old spat bitterly. "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him."

"What happened?" Glen asked as he watched the angry teen play with the hem of her shirt. Something she did when she was nervous. When she didn't answer right away he said, "Ashley, you can tell me anything. We're buddies remember?"

Ashley shrugged dejectedly and looked at him. "He wants me to go on a date with his friend's son but I don't wanna." She murmured sadly.

"How old is this boy?"

"He turns 14 tomorrow. It's his birthday and I'm on his wish list." She looked back down at her shirt. "I'm Pops gift to him."

"Ashley, I don't think you're seeing this right. Maybe Pops just wants you to try something other girls your age are starting to do. Date."

"Well..I don't want to date Thomas V. Kelvinson." She scrunched her face in disgust.

"Why not?" Glen asked. "Is it because he's ugly or something?"

"No. He's good looking." She admitted. "I just don't like him."

"Well there will be other boys at his birthday party. Just tell your dad you want one of them instead." Glen suggested.

"But I don't want any of them either!" She exclaimed. "I don't like boys." She murmured with tears rolling down her face.

Glen looked at her with a puzzled expression. "Why are you crying Ash?" He asked gently while pulling the small girl into his arms.

Ashley sniffled and rested her forehead against his shoulder, ignoring her discomfort. "I…I…I'm a freak." She mumbled weakly.

"What do you mean?"

Ashley pulled back and wiped her eyes. "I think I like girls." She said while looking down.

"Why do you think that?" He said while lifting her chin up to meet his eyes.

Ashley slightly blushed and looked back down at her hands. "I kind of have a crush on someone."

"Care to elaborate?" He teased with a big smile on his face.

"Alright." She groaned. "But you better not laugh."

"I won't. Scouts honor."

Ashley smiled dreamily as she spoke. "It's the new cook, Shannon. She's so much younger than our last cook and is really really hot."

Glen's smile widened. "Is that why you spend all of your free time with her 'learning how to cook'?" He asked knowingly.

"Yes," She blurted out but then became serious. "Do you think it's wrong for girls to like other girls?" She asked confusedly.

Glen shook his no. "Just be yourself, Ash. Gay, straight, or all of the above. The most important thing is that you're happy."

Ashley thought a moment before smiling. "Thank you Glen." She said while pulling him into a tight hug. "Maybe I can fake sick for tomorrow."

"There you go." Glen smiled and placed a tender kiss on her temple."Remember, Bud, I'm always here for you."

Ashley pulled back and met his gaze. "Same here."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"I didn't think you'd fall for someone so soon." Glen said while gripping her shoulders to pull her at arms length. "I…." He sighed before continuing. "How did all of this start?"

"It's my fault." She admitted sadly. "Aiden's birthday, my hotel room, I was high, she was hot, and I fucked her." She looked up and met Glen's eyes. "If I had known she was Aiden's girlfriend I swear I wouldn't have touched her." She added in her own defense.

"How could you not have known?" Glen asked. "Didn't Spencer say anything about Aiden?"

Ashley stepped away from the tall blonde and scrubbed her face with her hands before she sat down on the booth under the TV.

"I wasn't in much of a talking mood." She confessed sheepishly. "So she didn't get to say much but she did mention having a boyfriend."

"And you still fucked her?" He asked in disbelief while taking the seat across from her. "God Ashley your turning just like hi…." Glen abruptly stopped talking and regretted his last statement when he saw the hurt in Ashley's eyes. "I didn't mean it." He quickly added.

Ashley stood up and ran a shaky hand through her hair."You're right." She said while meeting his gaze. "I am just like him. When I hear a woman say she has a boyfriend all it means is I don't have to worry about catching some sex disease." She swallowed nervously. "But I don't regret what I did with Spencer." Tear filled brown eyes met blue. "I need her Glen."

Glen saw all of the rock star's pain and desperation in the rock star's demeanor as she spoke. He didn't know what to make of Ashley's confessions and didn't know how to tell her she had to move on. For her sake and Aiden's as well. Spencer was never going to choose her over her boyfriend, he realized, but didn't know how Ashley's heart would take hearing that from him and didn't want to find out. The last thing she needed was more heart break.

"I know how you feel, Ash." Glen allied. "But you're still so young and I think with time you'll grow out of what you think you're feeling for Spencer."

Ashley looked at him accusingly. "You don't think what I'm feeling is real?" She choked out.

Glen sighed heavily. "What are you feeling Ashley?"

"I love her so much and I need her just as bad. I run to her when she calls and can't refuse her a thing, even if it hurts me." She admitted shamefully.

"Does she love you?"

Ashley looked down. "I don't know. She hasn't said anything about it." She said with a lot of uncertainty and fear. "I don't think she knows either."

"Ashley you should stop this. You have no idea how she feels for you but you know she loves Aiden. This affair will end badly. With you on the receiving end of pain." He took her hand and pleaded once more. "Stop this."

"I can't." Ashley answered softly as turned away. "I'm going in my room." She tiredly called out. Opening the expensive door, she turned around. "Can you keep this a secret?" She asked facing Glen.

Glen nodded his head and could visibly see Ashley relax.

"Thanks." She said before entering her room.

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Glen leaned back against the fridge and watched Spencer walk onto the bus. "I don't like what you're doing." He blurted out before he could stop himself.

Spencer looked at him with confusion etched in her eyes. "I don't understand."

"You and Ashley." He clarified.

Spencer slightly narrowed her eyes at him and knew by the look in his eyes that he knew everything. "What we're doing is none of your business."

"You're hurting her so fucking bad and she's letting you because she loves you." He hissed angrily while moving closer to her.

Spencer was momentarily taken a back at hearing Glen say Ashley loved her. She smiled softly at the thought before looking back over at Glen. "I love her too, and I don't mean to hurt her." She insisted.

"Well let go of her since you 'love' her so much."

"I need her." Spencer whispered as she looked down. "She fills a missing void in me."

Glen sighed heavily before meeting Spencer's gaze. "When Ashley was 13 she had her first crush on our 3 rd cook. She was 19 years old and very good looking. Straight red hair, bright green eyes, and a smoking body. Ashley had a bad case of hero worship for Shannon. All her free time went to the kitchen where Shannon would teach her some new recipe or something." Glen's lips formed in a frown. "2 years latter we still have Shannon, and Ashley's little crush became so much more. She was 15 and falling head over heels for our cook who, at the time, was her best friend. But then something happened, I'm not sure what happened but it made Ashley so upset that she fired Shannon and screamed she never wanted to see her face again." Glen's gaze shot holes through Spencer as he continued. "The next day she was experimenting with pot. What I'm trying to say is Ashley doesn't deal with tragedy well and all of this is going to lead her to just that. Tragedy."

"I wouldn't put her through any tragedy." She said with a trembling lip.

"Ashley's not a robot Spencer. She has feelings, she just doesn't like to show them very often because Shannon hurt her the last time she did that. But now with you it's different and I see know that you're the only one who could really hurt her now. You have broken past the barriers around her heart and embedded yourself in her. And she could die because of it."

"What do you mean?" Spencer whispered.

"Will you leave your boyfriend for Ashley? Or is Ashley going to be your whore forever?" He spat bitterly. "Because if she remains your whore she loses her dignity and she can't live without that."

Spencer stood frozen to the ground as she thought about everything Glen said. She couldn't be mad at him for voicing the truth, but hated the fact that he was right. She had to make a decision, Ashley or Aiden, and she was going to make it soon.

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A man in his early 20's stood at the door way wearing a short lived smile. He wore his brunette hair short at the sides and a little long on the top with a goatee running down his face. "Am I interrupting something?" He asked giving Spencer and Glen a startled look.

Both Blonde's stood facing each other with tension filled air surrounding them. Spencer abruptly turned her head and met familiar brown eyes. She found herself staring at the man who looked a lot like Ashley and blushed furiously when he raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm sorry, no you weren't interrupting." She blurted out flustered.

His smile came back to life as he approached both blondes. Keeping eye contact with Spencer, he introduced himself. "I'm Aj." Holding out his hand he added. "The driver."

Spencer smiled back and took his hand, firmly shaking it she replied, "It's nice to meet you Aj. I'm Spencer, the new-"

"Bass player. I know." He chuckled. "Everybody knows Spencer Carlin." He pursed his lips in thought before continuing. "But you're not famous for your amazing bass skills yet, are you?" He didn't wait for her to answer. "I do believe you're famous for dating a certain hunky musician we all know as Aiden. Right?"

Spencer looked at him skeptically as she answered. "I guess so."

Aj began stroking his goatee as he stared into deep grey eyes. "It's too bad you're not single." He sighed heavily. "Aiden's a lucky guy." A small grinned shaped his lips. "But then again anything can happen, right?"

"Not between you two." Glen snapped with narrowed eyes. "Just keep your eyes on the road and not on the band members." Aj nodded but had a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Glen ignored it and faced Spencer. "I'm going to bed. Think about what I said, alright?" He asked softening his tone. Spencer saw the concern etched clearly in his tired blue eyes and agreed. "Thanks." He said before pulling open the small curtain to one of the top bunks.

Aj and Spencer watched him enter the small sleep space and then faced each other when he pulled the curtain close. "You look a lot like Ashley." Spencer said as she walked toward the front of the bus.

Aj followed behind while digging in his pockets for the keys. "I hope that's a compliment." He replied chuckling.

Spencer turned and looked him over head to toe. He was only a couple of inches taller than Ashley with a little more muscle and fat mass. "Believe me it's a compliment." She thought a moment. "How are you guy related?"

"Cousins." He answered with a thoughtful expression. "But we grew up together and Dad always treated us like brother and sister."

"Dad?"

"Pops." He clarified. "He adopted me when I was six, after my parents died, and I grew up with Ashley on a bus with the band."

Spencer was surprised at how easily Aj talked about Pops. There wasn't any anger or hate in his tone like Ashley's held, only gratitude. "So you like Pops?" She asked failing to hide the shock in her tone.

Aj chuckled. "He's my Dad. Of course I like him. Well love him."

"Why doesn't Ashley feel the same way?" She asked with hesitation. Her mind told her this was none of her business but she couldn't help asking about Pops and Ashley. They both have major issues with each other and she found it strange that Aj didn't seem to have any problems with Pops.

All Aj's cheerfulness faded as he thought about Spencer's question. "Me and Ashley had different lives. Dad never really pressured me into doing things I didn't want to do, I guess it was because I wasn't really his kid or maybe it was because I was too old to be the kid he wanted." His voice faltered slightly as he continued. "I was the lucky one, I guess. Ashley was two when Dad adopted me. Before Pops I was living with my aunt from my Mom's side of the family and her husband. But I didn't like them. My real Dad and Pops were close so Pops took me in after he stopped by for a visit and saw how miserable I was. The first couple of weeks were a blast. I met lots of people and saw lots of things, including Ashley's care." He frowned. "I don't think Dad saw her more than a couple of times a month when she was a baby." Aj saw the outraged look on Spencer's face and quickly added, "But she was well taken care of by nannies and stuff." He visibly relaxed when Spencer did but they were both still kind of tense. "Anyway, life on the road started getting boring and I wanted to go to school. Pops sent me to Grandma's and I started elementary and continued on and finished high school. But I spent every summer with Dad and Ashley on the road." Aj stopped talking and turned his head toward the opening door.

Clay walked in and mumbled an apology for interrupting.

"No prob." Aj replied. "Just telling a story."

"Is it one that I know?" He asked curiously.

Aj thought a moment. "I think so."

Clay chuckled. "Then I don't want to hear it again. I'm too tired anyway. I'll see you guys in the morning."

After exchanging goodnights Aj turned his attention back to Spencer. "Like I was saying, I spent every summer with them and I realized Dad was spending a lot more time with Ashley but for the wrong reasons. When I saw them together they were always practicing guitar. And that's all they would do for hours just talking playing and learning about the guitar. When I was hanging out with Dad music wasn't even a topic for discussion. We'd play ball and video games and talk about my schooling and social life. But with Ashley all he cared about was her guitar playing. And I think that's one of the reasons she just doesn't like him. He basically raised her solely to be a big money making rock star without her having any say in it."

"That bastard!" Spencer gasped while clutching her hands tightly in anger.

Aj was shocked at the amount of venom in her tone. "Hey, it's not as bad as it sounds."

Spencer kept his gaze as she spoke. "Of course it is! That man carelessly raised his daughter to be something she never wanted to be and doesn't care how it's affecting her. In his mind you're his perfect kid, and he could careless about what happens to Ashley." She stated sadly.

Aj's mouth slightly opened and he couldn't believe what Spencer was telling him. "I don't believe that!" He gaped.

"What don't you believe? The fact that you're his perfect child? Or the fact that he doesn't care about Ashley?"She questioned calmly.

Aj opened and closed his mouth several times before he actually said anything. The more he thought about it the more it all started to make sense. "You're right." He whispered. Looking over at her, he gave her questioning look. "Were you a psychologist before a rock star?"

Spencer smiled a little, "I read a couple of books on psychology and was a peer counselor throughout high school." She thought a moment. "I don't think I would have made a career out of it though."

"You would make a good therapist." He commented while checking his watch. "We have to get going we're already behind schedule." He said while looking up.

Spencer nodded her head in agreement. "I'll see you in the morning then." She said while giving him a hug.

Aj was surprised and then happy the blonde hugged him. "Good night Spencer." He said while pulling away.

"Good night Aj."

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Quietly, Spencer opened Ashley's door and entered the room. She slowly closed the door and quickly turned when she heard Ashley sit up. "Hello sleepy head." She whispered while Ashley yawned.

Ashley stretched groggily and looked at her with a sleepy gaze. "Wha-" Ashley was cut off by a pair of soft lips kissing hers gently as Spencer slid into the king size bed.

Snuggling against the drowsy rock star she teased, "I met your twin."

"My twin?" Ashley abruptly blurted out with puzzlement making Spencer laugh.

"Aj." She clarified. "He seems like a really nice guy."

Ashley snorted a little at the thought of Spencer and Aj talking about her. She knew Aj was a suck up, and a snitch, and assumed he said some pretty bad things about her. But then again it's not like Spencer hasn't seen her do bad things, Ashley thought realistically. With a sigh, The rock star scooted up the bed and nestled herself in Spencer's awaiting arms, resting her head on a soft breast as Spencer wrapped her in a tender embrace. Listening to Spencer's slow even breathing, Ashley's own breathing deepened and she soon fell into a tiring sleep.

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A firm nudge to the shoulder brought Ashley out of her slumber and into the real world. With a groan, She turned her head towards the disturbance and opened her eyes. "Rachael?" She rasped with confusion.

"Y…yes Ms. Davies. Your father sent me to find you. He wants to see you." She said quickly. Moving her gaze a little higher she met startled grey eyes and smiled. "Morning Ms. Carlin."

"Good morning." Spencer replied trance like. One of her hands was tangled in disheveled auburn hair while the other rested under Ashley's shirt, on top of warm bare skin. No blanket covered them as they lied in each other's arms, making Spencer feel more embarrassed at being caught sleeping in Ashley's bed with Ashley in it.

Ashley felt Spencer tense and picked her head up from the blonde's breast. Dull brown eyes locked onto mortified grey as she spoke, "I'll be there in a minute Rachael." She said while keeping her gaze locked firmly onto Spencer's.

Rachael looked between the two a final time, feeling the tension between them, she said her goodbyes and left the room.

After Rachael left Ashley coldly sat up and got off the bed. "We're in Vegas." She said neutrally. "You should call your boyfriend and have breakfast with him or something." She spat while putting on her shoes.

Spencer watched Ashley move around the room with sad eyes. "Ashley." She pleaded as the rock star took hold of the door knob.

Ashley closed her eyes and didn't turn as she spoke. "I'll call you later." She said softly before walking out of the room.

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Mandalay Bay was one of Ashley's favorite hotels/casino. She entered the large golden building with a ghost of a smile on her face. After a trip to the front desk and a couple of stops up the elevator Ashley found herself outside of Pops suite. She knocked firmly and didn't smile or greet him when he answered the door. The look on his face said more than a thousand words, all of which were synonyms to the word angry. Without saying a word, Pops turned his back to Ashley and walked into his room. Ashley closed the door and followed him into the sitting room. She took a seat on the couch and watched him do the same. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for some time before he opened his mouth. "You're so full of shit." He said between humorless laughter.

Ashley waited for him to stop laughing before she asked, "What are you talking about?"

Pops said nothing as he leaned forward and grabbed the remote sitting on top of the glass coffee table. He clicked the power button and the big screen tv came to life. He clicked another button and the DVD player's 'play' message appeared on the screen. Ashley eyes slightly widened when the video started playing. It was her and Spencer on the beach lying on the blanket having sex. Ashley visibly paled and tore her eyes off the screen and met her father's piercing gaze.

"How did you….get that." She asked in a small voice, feeling very much like the caught teen she was.

"Your bodyguards gave it to me this morning. They found a guy on your roof with a video camera." He explained with controlled anger as he stood. "Not long ago you promised me you would keep your hands off her. You also promised no scandals will come from this, and you said you didn't want Spencer." He motioned to the tv and raised his voice. "You're touching her, if it wasn't for Garrison this would have been a scandal, and you've confessed your love for Spencer. What is going on in that fucked up little mind of yours?" He questioned sarcastically.

Ashley angrily stood up and stared bullets at her father, she opened her mouth to speak but was violently pushed back down on the couch. "I don't want to hear anymore of your bullshit." Pops snarled as he stared down at Ashley. "Just listen to what I have to say for a change. This affair Spencer is having with you is not something she's doing out of love." He laughed a little only fueling Ashley's anger. "Affairs are something people do when their lovers suck in bed." Ashley opened her mouth to speak but was harshly cut off. "Aiden must not be satisfying Spencer so she's using you." Ashley visibly flinched at the statement and Pops knew he hit a sore spot. "You're Spencer's dildo, not lover." He smiled at the pain visible on his daughter's face. "Come on Ashley think about it. Has she even mentioned love? Does she talk about spending her life with you? Does she Ashley?"

Ashley didn't know how to answer. But what she did know was that her father was right, about everything. With an aching chest and crushed spirit, Ashley abruptly stood and rushed out of the room.

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Spencer stayed in bed after Ashley left and thought about her conversation with Glen. He was right. She had to choose between Aiden and Ashley because she was hurting both of them. Turning over on her back, she stared at the ceiling and thought about her relationship with Aiden. He made her happy and was a very caring lover but kind of predictable. Spencer dwelled on that a little longer. She had been dating Aiden for so long that she could easily read him like a book. It wasn't a bad thing, she thought reasonably but she wanted something new. Someone new. Her list of lover's didn't go past Aiden and she frowned at the thought. Maybe she needed to broaden her horizons and date around a while before deciding to go any further with her long time boyfriend. Her only boyfriend. She was torn between smiling and crying at the thought of breaking up with Aiden. Her smile won when she thought about who she would be dating after Aiden. Ashley. Knowing the rock star loved her made Spencer's stomach flutter and smile widen. Yes leaving Aiden would be a good thing, but she would have to talk it over with Ashley first, she decided thoughtfully. She had no idea if Ashley wanted a relationship or groupies but guessed she would find out soon.

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Ashley stormed out of the casino and pulled out her cell phone. She didn't want to think about Spencer or Pops and decided she needed a break from all the pain they were causing her. Dialing a number on her phone, she brought it up to her ear and waited for an answer.

"Hey Ash, whats happenin?" A cheerful male greeted her.

"We're playing hooky, Mike." She smiled into the phone.

"Hooky?" Mike choked out. "Are you crazy? We have to play a show tonight."

"'We' aren't doing any playing tonight. We're spending the day scoring drugs and getting laid." She playfully explained.

Mike chuckled. "Since you put it that way, I'm in!"

"Good." Ashley looked around before continuing. "Meet me by the statue of Liberty in front of the 'New York New York' building."

"Alrighty, see you soon, Ash."

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Ashley flicked her cigarette and watched the small bud hit the ground with a sigh. It was taking Mike forever to meet her and her patience was quickly wearing thin. Running a hand through messy auburn hair, she looked at her cell phone and frowned when she realized it had been a little over a half hour since she had called Mike. Ashley stood and debated calling him again over playing hooky alone. The debate was interrupted by a vibration tingling up her arm. She looked at the number on her phone and turned it off when she saw the name of the caller. Carlin Spencer. She had spent the last half hour thinking of everything but the blonde bass player, and her father, purposely ignoring them in her mind, and was not about to acknowledge them in reality.

"Was that another creepy stalker groupie chick?" Mike teased after seeing the scowl on the rock star's face when she turned off her phone. Mike was the drummer for Aiden's band and Ashley's favorite party partner. He stood tall and was in his mid twenties with short black hair, bright hazel eyes, and light tan skin wearing a black polo shirt, levi jeans, and black converse. "I hope she isn't as crazy as the last one. As I recall she locked herself in your tour bus's bathroom and it took the fire department to get her crazy ass out."

Ashley's eyes were glued to the phone as she chuckled at the memory. She looked up and smiled at him, her sullenness forgotten. "I never did thank you for calling the fire department when I told you to call Roscoe." She closed her phone and shoved it in her back pocket.

"Hey, it would have taken a lot more than one man to get that crazy bitch out." He pointed a finger at her. "And you know it."

"You're right." Ashley agreed after a moments thought. "But to answer your first question, no, that wasn't a creepy stalker chick. But I bet dealing with a creepy stalker chick would probably be a lot easier than dealing with a straight chick and her boyfriend." She said more to herself.

Mike laughed and grasped Ashley's hand as they walked down the sidewalk. "Let me guess. You slept with some guys girl and got caught. Now he wants money or to beat the shit out of you."

"I wish it were that simple." Ashley groused as she threw her hands up in frustration. She looked over at mike and saw the questioning look in his eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."

Mike grinned and replied, "Then I don't want to know about it." As he draped an arm over both Ashley's shoulders, leading them into a small café that smelled absolutely wonderful.

Ashley's face brightened at the smell of coffee and she was relieved to find the place nearly empty with only an elderly man working the register. Don't have to worry about signing napkins or taking pictures, she thought happily.

Both musicians walked up to the counter and stood silently staring up at the menu. "Coffee's my best friend." Ashley mumbled absently before placing her order.

Mike ordered after her and snapped his head over to her, casting his hazel eyes down at her. "I thought I was your best friend." He whined playfully with his lips lined in a silly grin.

Ashley faced him and placed a quick kiss on his smooth cheek. "Of course you're my best friend." Facing the counter, she grabbed both coffees. "That's why you're paying for my coffee." She teased as she turned to face him.

Mike smirked and paid the small amount. He grabbed his change and followed Ashley to a table. Taking his seat, he opened his mouth to speak when something occurred to him. "You never told me why we're playing hooky." He mentioned offhandedly.

Ashley tensed a split second before answering. "I needed a break." She mumbled weakly while taking a sip of her coffee.

"From…" Mike urged when Ashley failed to elaborate.

Ashley looked at him with eyes that screamed 'drop it', not wanting to think about Spencer or Pops, much less talk about them. "Everyone." She answered dryly while looking back down at her coffee.

Mike got the hint and purposely changed the subject. "So are you getting along with Spencer?" He asked casually while taking a sip of his coffee.

Ashley sighed and pushed the small cup away. Pulling out a pack of cigarettes, she placed a single white stick between her lips before lighting it. "We're getting along fine." She answered while taking a drag off her cigarette.

Mike nodded but was unconvinced by the look of utter anguish etched over her face. "Is she the reason we're playing hooky?" He asked in concern.

Ashley looked at him and nodded her head no while smiling reassuringly. "We're playing hooky to have fun." She said while standing. "Now let's go find someone to have some with." She said with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

Mike chuckled as he stood. "Alright, let's go."

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Spencer walked out of the tour bus and headed toward the larger hotel in front of her.

"Wait!" She heard a male call out.

Turning around she smiled at the approaching driver. "Rachael wanted me to give you this." He explained, handing the blonde the small hotel room key card.

Spencer took it and read the name of the hotel out loud. "Mandalay Bay." She looked back up at Aj. "Sounds nice."

"It is." He reassured. "You'll love it."

"Most likely." She chuckled and looked around. "Have you seen Ashley? She's not answering her phone."

Aj shrugged. "Last I heard she was talking with Dad. You should ask him."

She smiled and said, "Good idea."

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Spencer walked into the large casino, not knowing where to go. This was her first time in Vegas and things like Casinos didn't exist where she lived. Looking around at all the different types of people walking around, playing video poker, and standing around, she caught sight of a familiar figure. "Rachael." She called out while walking over to her. The small brunette turned around and smiled nervously up at the blonde. "M…Ms. Carlin." She greeted nervously trying to get the image of Spencer and Ashley lying in each other's arms out of her mind.

Spencer noted with some aberration that Rachael had yet to make eye contact with her. "Rachael, what you saw this morning might have been a little…shocking but I do love Ashley." She admitted thinking Rachael would give her the same talk Glen did.

Making eye contact, Rachael gave her an odd look. "Ms. Carlin none of this is any of my business but I have known Ashley for a very long time. And I'm familiar with her reputation."She said with a sigh. "She doesn't know how to love. If you pick her over Aiden expect heart break."

Spencer stared at her a moment before speaking. "I trust Ashley. And I don't think she will purposely break my heart." She smiled. "People change."

Rachael smiled back but didn't really mean it. She knew Ashley will at one point break Spencer's heart and hoped Spencer wasn't falling too hard for the rock star. "I hope you're right. Now did you need something?"

Spencer nodded her head yes. "I was actually looking for Ashley, have you seen her around?"

Rachael thought a moment before answering. "I think she went out." At Spencer's fallen smile she added. "To get breakfast or maybe some coffee."

Spencer smiled a little but it seemed strained. She was anxious to find the rock star and reveal her feeling for her. I'm just going to have to wait, she thought with a silent sigh. "Thank you." She told the brunette before turning around. Grey eyes locked with vibrant blue as Aiden approached her. "Hey Baby." She greeted happily.

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Mike stood still grinning up at the large sign above them. "'Pussykat Tattoo Parlor'." He read out loud while looking over at Ashley. "Got ink?"

Ashley briefly met his gaze before turning her back to him. She lifted her shirt up, revealing the tattoo printed on the small of her back. "It's not much." She said while turning back around. "I could use a little more."

"Me too." Mike agreed.

Ashley looked at both of his arms. There wasn't an inch of his originally tan skin showing under all the tattoos he already had. Looking up, brown eyes met smiling hazel. "Well come on then." She said as she opened the door and stepped in first.

The place was big and clean, making Ashley feel a bit more comfortable. Heavy metal music played in the background and the employees were all pierced and heavily tattooed. She walked up to the front desk and waited for someone to greet them. A cute girl in her mid 20's with long raven hair came out with a welcoming smile. "How may help you guys today?" She asked Ashley.

"I want a piercing and tattoo." She said while pulling out her wallet. Grabbing her fake ID she gave it to the girl and waited patiently for the necessary paper work she had to fill out, regarding legal and standard procedures. The raven haired tattoo artist handed Ashley the clip board, looking at her suspiciously, before turning her attention to Mike. Ashley walked to the nearest chair in the waiting room and started filling everything out. She didn't know what kind of tattoo she wanted but did know she was getting her tongue pierced. It was something she had wanted to do for a while now but never had the time to do it, until now. When she finished the paper work, she walked back up to the front desk and gave the woman the clip board.

"All right, which tattoo do you want?" The tattoo artist asked pulling out a big book filled with sketches.

Pursing her lips, Ashley started flipping through the many pages of tattoo art and closed the book when she saw nothing she liked. "Forget the tattoo. I just want a piercing." She said while pushing the book back towards the artist.

The girl just nodded and told her to follow her into the back room. When they reached the room, the tattoo artist told Ashley to take a seat in the dentist like chair. "Perfect for a tongue piercing." She mumbled while sitting down.

"So, are you excited?" The girl asked while looking through several types of needles.

Ashley smirked, "Can hardly wait. I'm oozing excitement, don't you feel it?" She asked sarcastically.

The girl's blue eyes met Ashley's brown. "Of course I feel it." She purred. "What girl doesn't feel excited with Ashley Davies around?"

Ashley didn't say anything, just looked down at her shoes, with a reddened face.

"Did I just embarrass you?" The tattoo artist asked, highly amused. "I'm sorry but I assumed you were used to it."

"Can we just get this thing over with." She asked curtly, not bothering to hide the irritation she felt.

"Fine." The tattoo artist huffed while snapping on her gloves.

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Spencer settled herself on the couch, placing her feet on her boyfriend's lap, feeling overly stuffed from a very big breakfast. After an awkward moment greeting Aiden in front of Rachael, Spencer suggested they go up to her room and order room service. Aiden didn't seem to find anything too out of the ordinary and easily agreed to his girlfriend's plans. The suite was large with two bedrooms and a sitting room equipped with a big screen tv and DVD player. They ate breakfast on the couch while talking and watching tv. Spencer didn't mention Ashley much but did say she was a nice person and was surprised when Aiden asked 'that's all?'. She had no idea how close Aiden and Ashley were but had a fairly good idea they were good friends. The way Aiden talked about her was a great indication of her assumptions.

Aiden was intently watching the news while Spencer thought about her plans to break up with her long time boyfriend. It wasn't easy on her heart, or conscious, but she wanted to try new things, one of the new things being Ashley.

"Oh honey that feels great." She murmured pleasurably as Aiden took her feet in his hands and started massaging them thoroughly.

Aiden just smiled and continued massaging her feet as he stared blankly at the TV. It was good to just be able to touch her again, he thought reasonably, but it also made him yearn to touch her all over, in bed. He was finding taking her into his arms and making made passionate love to her difficult with her sitting so close to him. The more he thought about it the more he wanted Spencer but assumed she was too tired for sex. Especially after playing her first show and then staying up all night on a tour bus. With a heavy sigh, he looked over at his now sleeping girl friend and smiled softly. "I love you." He whispered as he placed a tender kiss on her ankle.

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Ashley stepped outside the tattoo parlor and turned around. She watched Mike walk out and opened her mouth. "What do you think?" She asked referring to the small silver barbell placed in the middle of her tongue.

Mike chuckled and leaned forward to take a better look. "Now that's fucking hot." He said while pulling back. "You're going to have so many fucking chicks after that thing."

Ashley smiled but wasn't pleased with the thought. The only chick she wanted after it was Spencer. She'd probably love to have it between her legs, the rock star thought bitterly. Her heart fell when she realized the truth in her thoughts. Spencer only wanted a good fucking from her and like a good little whore she always gave it to her.

Mike saw the pain register in the rock star's eyes as the words left his mouth. He had no idea what her problem was and knew asking her about it would be a lost cause. Ashley was never one to talk about her problems. So he did the only thing he could think of. He changed the subject. "Wanna see my tattoo?"

Ashley smiled and nodded her head yes.

Mike lifted his shirt and pulled off the large band aid that covered the large tattoo stretched across his waist. Ashley's smile fell and her eyes widened at the sight. Two large crows rested at each side of his waist holding a larger banner that read 'ASHLEY'.

Ashley's gaze moved up and she met smiling hazel eyes. "You're crazy." She said while slowly shaking her head no.

Mike chuckled. "Well do you like it?"

"Love it." She tilted her head to the side. "It expresses how incredibly insane you are."

"I'm taking that as a compliment." He said while pulling down his shirt. "So…where to next?"

Ashley thought a moment. "Let's go see how Pop's business is coming along." She said while walking away from the tattoo parlor.

Mike smiled and followed behind the auburn haired teen, thinking of all the fun they were going to have.

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A firm knock at the door brought Spencer out of her slumber. Aiden, who had fallen asleep shortly after his girlfriend, jerked awake and looked over at her. "Do you want to answer it?" He asked between yawns. Spencer just stared sleepily at him, feeling very lazy. "I don't blame you." He chuckled at his girlfriend. Deciding to get his lazy butt up, Aiden gently removed Spencer's feet from his lap. _I'm sorry baby but I've got to get up. _He thought to himself when he saw the little pout on her face. Pulling himself off the couch, he stretched a bit before walking to the door. "Hey Pops." Aiden greeted cheerfully when he opened the door.

Pops stood momentarily shocked at seeing Aiden at the door. He assumed Ashley was in her room but now thought something entirely different. Rachael had put Ashley and Spencer in the same suite purely by habit. Ashley used to share suites with Shawn and Rachael assumed Spencer would take his spot. "Is Ashley here?" He asked already knowing she wasn't. He didn't think Ashley would be able to stomach being with the happy couple after the little talk he had with her.

"Nope." Aiden paused. "Actually I haven't seen her all day."

Pops sighed and ran a hand through his long blonde hair. "Can you call me when you see her?"

"Sure." Aiden replied.

Pops nodded and left after saying goodbye.

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By the time Ashley reached her father's strip club, signing autographs and taking pictures most of the way there, she was more than ready for a couple of drinks and whatever else she could find. The Bouncer, Teddy, smiled at her and they made a little small talk. Ashley knew his name wasn't really Teddy and had no idea why Nicholas, her father's business partner, would give the buff tall black man such a soft name. Killer would be more appropriate, she thought with a small smile. Teddy opened the door, not bothering to check her ID, he already knew she was 17 but also knew her father owned the place so couldn't refuse her.

Ashley nodded her goodbye and stepped inside. The first thing that hit her was the annoying techno music blaring from the speakers turned up way too high for her taste. Looking around, she saw there wasn't much of a crowd but knew men mostly showed up after 5. She watched all the girls from where she stood and noted, with shame, that she didn't know any of their names, but had at least half of them at some point, doing more than the occasional lap dance back at her hotel room.

Swallowing hard, she rushed through the strip club and ignored the fake happy greetings the half naked women showered her with as she walked past them. Fishing in her pockets, she retrieved her keys and walked through a darkened hall way. She reached a room at the end of it and opened the door using the key attached to her key chain. Walking inside, she closed the door and sighed her relief. Her father's office was always a nice place to take a break from the loud music and sex.

The auburn haired rock star walked over to her father's desk and took a seat on the big leather chair sitting. It was weird being in the strip club sober, she noted thoughtfully. The last time she was here she was high and horny and straightforwardly took a stripper back to her hotel room and did what she wanted to her. Not a guilty thought ran through her mind during and after the sex, but thinking about it now made her feel guilty and dirty.

"Spencer." She snorted while opening the drawer that held her father's favorite liquor. "You're making me feel so fucking guilty about being here." She unscrewed the top of the 'Jack Daniels' bottle and grabbed a shot glass. "I don't know why. It's not like you're my girlfriend." Pouring the copper liquid into the small glass, she continued talking to no one. "I can do what ever I want." She said while drowning the bitter liquid in one swallow, grimacing slightly when she finished. "I can fuck anyone I want." She gasped while setting the shot glass down.

A knock sounded at the door the moment the glass hit the desk. "Is this a private party?" Mike asked as he peeked his head in the door.

Ashley smiled at the drummer. She had no idea if it was the alcohol but for some odd reason she felt unusually happy to see her friend at the door. Mike was just a great guy, she reasoned. A great guy who was risking his job to come play hooky with her. Ashley chuckled. "This ones to you buddy." She said as she drowned down another shot.

"Hey! I don't want a tribute." He whined. "I want a drink."

"Well get your ass in here and I'll pour you one. And don't ruin anything. Pops will get pissed." She added while filling another shot glass.

Mike walked in and closed the door and started walking tediously slow to the large oak desk.

Ashley fought back an eye roll as she asked, "What are you doing?"

"Trying not to ruin anything." He remarked with a smirk, but then frowned when Ashley drank his drink. "Hey!"

"That's what you get for being a smart ass. And why aren't you scoring booze with the semi-naked women out there?"

"I came in here to ask you the exact same thing."

Ashley looked away. She wasn't about to tell him she was having a major guilt trip about being here because she was madly in love with Aiden's girlfriend. So she lied. "The music was giving me a head ache." She answered while re pouring his drink.

"That's understandable." He gulped down his drink and scrunched his face as the heavy liquor burned his throat. "So are you staying in here all day?"

"No." She sighed. "I'll be out there in a little bit."

"Good. Because there's some new ones out there who have yet to experience the great Ashley Davies and her amazing hands." He emptied another shot glass and stood.

Ashley didn't say anything just forced a smirk on her lips.

"I wish I had my own personal 'adult' fan club." He teased.

"Well maybe you should take today's free time to start one." She looked at him and hoped her agitated tone would get him to leave. She didn't want to hear anymore about herself.

"Okay, okay. I think I get it." He said noting Ashley's aggravation. "I was only trying to feed your ego."

"My ego isn't hungry. But I can't say the same for my alcohol craving." She smirked and added, "I'll meet you out there in a little bit."

Mike agreed and walked out of the room, giving Ashley her alone time.

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Four hours after Mike's departure found Ashley sound asleep. Her feet were resting on top of the desk while her body lied reclined in her father's seat. She didn't drink anymore after Mike left but the liquor she had already consumed made her very sleepy and she soon fell asleep. "Mmm." She moaned in annoyance when she felt something tickle her nose. Slowly opening her eyes, her blurred vision cleared and she was met with the dark brown eyes of her father's business partner. Nicholas Evans. He was a short chubby Cuban in his late 50's with graying black hair, mustache, and wearing an expensive all black business suite. He grew up with Raife and is her father's closest friend. "Duerma bien?" He asked smiling.

"Sí, gracias." Ashley answered standing from her seat and facing the man that was only a couple of inches taller than herself.

"Usted parece hija buena." Nicholas complimented while eyeing the 17 year old thoroughly. He hadn't seen the teen in over a year and thought she looked even more beautiful than before, even with the fading bruise on her face.

Ashley smirked, "Usted es demasiado clase. I look like shit." She thought a moment. "And feel like it to."

Nicholas laughed and shook his head no. "You can look like Frankenstein and still get women." He teased, knowing Ashley's reputation very well. "And as for your feelings….I have something that will make you feel.. Asombrar!" He exclaimed grinning broadly.

"Really?" Ashley asked intrigued. "And what do you have that will make me feel so amazing?"

"I have a little bit of everything. But I know what you like, mi chica. And I have some of that too." He answered. "Are you interested?"

"Of course." Ashley answered smoothly. "dónde estás?"

"In my office." He answered while walking to the door, calling over his shoulder, "Follow me."

Ashley didn't hesitate following her father's best friend into his office, knowing there will be cocaine there.

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Glen took off his guitar and placed it on the stand. "Where the hell is she?" He asked while facing Spencer and Clay, who both stopped playing the second he did. "Sound check is almost over and no one has heard a word from her. What's up?"

"Maybe she's out getting laid." Aj replied from the speaker he sat on.

Glen was starting to lose his patience with the bus driver. Through out the whole sound check he did nothing but sit around and make stupid comments. "I didn't ask you." He snapped while turning in his direction. "So shut your fucking face before you get hurt."

Aj's smile fell as he hopped off the speaker. "And who's going to hurt me, Blondie." He asked while walking up to Glen.

Clay immediately moved from his drum set and got between the two. "Chill, or they'll kick us out."

Both guys looked at each other a final time before turning away. "Well tell Blondie to quit his bitching." Aj said while retaking his seat on the speaker. "It's making my ears bleed."

Glen just ignored him and walked off the stage.

Clay sighed and looked over at Spencer. "I'm going to go cool him down." He explained before leaving.

Spencer sighed and took off her jacket, placing it on top of her amp, she turned around and met Aj's amused expression. "What?" She asked quizzically.

"Aiden has some appetite." He teased, referring to the hickeys and bite marks on her shoulder and chest that were exposed through a thin white tank top.

Spencer mentally cursed herself for taking off her jacket. The whole reason she put it on was to cover up her marked skin. "Yeah he does." She muttered nervously while grabbing her jacket and quickly putting it on. "Speaking of Aiden. I think I'll go see what he's up to now." Spencer said without looking at the driver.

Aj stared at her suspiciously and called out, "See you around." To her retreating form.

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Ashley stepped out of Nicholas's office with a lazy smile planted on her face, closing the door, she leaned heavily against it. He wasn't joking when he said amazing, she thought with a small giggle. Quickly wiping her nose, she took a few careless steps away from the door and muttered an apology when she ran into someone, accidently knocking the small girl down. "I'm sorry." She blurted out quickly offering the half dressed strawberry blonde her hand.

The stripper took the offered hand and stood up. "No it was my fault." She insisted and smiled when she made eye contact with the rock star. "I'm sorry….Ashley Davies, right?"

Ashley looked away, not knowing if the cute strawberry blonde hated her or not, she answered hesitantly. "Yeah."

"I'm Heather, and it's nice to meet you Ashley." She introduced half purring.

Ashley looked up and brown eyes met darkening green. She noted with some discomfort that they were still holding hands but didn't make an effort to break the contact. "Nice to meet you too, Heather." She replied seductively while trailing her gaze down the stripper's slender body. The pink two piece outfit she wore didn't hide much of her taunt abdomen or firm breasts, making Ashley's mouth water.

Heather caught the rock star's appreciative gaze and was internally cheering that she turned Ashley on. "So where you headed now?" She asked casually while stepping a little closer to the rock star.

Ashley smirked, "I was meeting a friend out there." She said referring to the lounge. "But I'm hoping my plans have changed."

"They have." Heather husked while leading them further back into the hallway.

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"They actually serve half decent food here." Aiden said in a naturally good mood.

Aiden, Spencer, and Glen all agreed to grab something to eat before the show. They decided to go to a little Mexican restaurant, knowing there was only a couple of hours to spare before they played, and all hoped Mike and Ashley would be at the show by the time they finished. Spencer was going out of her mind thinking of all the places the rock star could be. She didn't want to think of Ashley getting laid but knew that was the only thing that made sense. What else could Ashley do for a whole day with her phone off?

Spencer looked at her boyfriend, sitting next to her, and forced a smile. "I told you not all Mexican food was bad."

"I know honey. Next time I'll remember you're always right." He said with a chuckle.

"Mmm now that's the phrase that pays." She said while lightly pecking his lips.

"I thought the phrase that pays was 'I love you.'" Aiden took a bite of his refried beans. "Don't tell me you're tired of hearing it already."

She's not getting tired of hearing it. She's getting tired of feeling it. Glen thought while silently eating his food. He watched the couple with sad eyes. Well he watched Aiden treat Spencer like a princess with sad eyes and felt uncomfortable watching Spencer eat it up.

"Because I have a lot more in store for you in the future." Aiden took another bite of his food. "And our children of course." He beamed at the thought. "They'll always know I love them."

Aiden carried on talking about their future, completely missing the depressed look on Spencer's face. Glen, who sat across from them, watched Spencer's face as she stared blankly down at her food. He didn't know what she was thinking but did know she didn't like what she was hearing. The look on her face said it all.

Aiden reached over and grabbed a taco off Spencer's plate and casually took a bite out of it. It didn't bother Spencer that Aiden was eating her food. Any appetite she might have had earlier was dead and a wave of nausea replaced it.

She took a sip of her coke and then placed a quick kiss on Aiden's cheek, stopping him mid sentence. "That's wonderful honey. A great Dane sounds like the perfect family dog."

Glen snorted. "A family dog whose shit will be bigger than your kids." he said while smiling up at the 'perfect' couple.

"Nice." Spencer said in a sarcastic voice. "Great Dane shit is perfect dinner conversation."

"Sorry I didn't know you guys were taking this future thing so seriously." He said maintaining eye contact with Spencer.

Her eyes slightly narrowed at him but she didn't say anything.

"We're taking our future very seriously." Aiden replied while grasping Spencer's hand under the table cloth. His voice held nothing but confidence and pride as he continued. "I'm going to have the most beautiful, intelligent and caring wife under my roof."

"Don't forget loyal." Glen mentioned but then regretted it when he saw the sadness that washed over Spencer.

Out of the corner of her eyes Spencer saw Aiden's smile widen. "Of course she will be loyal." He faced her. "She's the greatest girlfriend in the whole wide world. And will be an equally great wife."

"Stop it!" Spencer wanted to scream, but her mouth couldn't do anything, not even smile false reassurance. Her eyes held a certain misery that her guilt brought on. She use to love hearing these things from her boyfriend but now it was torturous. If he only knew she was going to break his heart the minute Ashley gave her the okay, she thought sadly. Then his words of love and happiness will turn into hate and sadness, ripping through her heart and soul. Could she still do it? Yes. She needed to experience new things and she hoped Aiden would understand that.

All three sat very still, Aiden stared intently at Spencer with a look of puzzlement on his handsome face, wondering why she looked so sad. Glen just stared at his food, not knowing what else to do, waiting for Spencer to say something, anything, to rid them of the uncomfortable silence that surrounded them.

'I'm going to go bring something to Clay." Glen announced as he got up.

Aiden turned his head. "Want us to come with you? We only brought the limo."

"Naw that's okay." Glen waved the idea off with a motion of his hand. "I'll grab a cab."

"Cab?" Spencer looked up. "Glen that's ridiculous. We should all just leave. I'm not that hungry anyway."

Aiden looked at her in disbelief. "All you could talk about the whole way here was how hungry you were." He looked at her plate. "And you hardly touched a thing!"

"A cab is fine guys. Don't worry about it." He looked at Spencer and pointed at her. "And eat or you'll feel like shit when we play."

Spencer stared defiantly up at equally stubborn blue eyes. "Alright, you win." She said in defeat while taking a bit out of her taco. "See, I'm eating."

"Good." Glen smiled at both of his friends. "I'll see you guys later."

After Glen left, Aiden sat staring at his half empty Dr. Pepper, not knowing what to say to his girlfriend. He expected her to at least smile at his compliments but they only seemed to have upset her. Why would they upset her, He asked himself. Isn't that what all girls like to hear from their boyfriends?

"What is going on Aiden?"

Aiden looked at her confused out of his mind. She sounded angry and not sorry like she should have been for making him look stupid.

"Excuse me?" He asked with a certain edge in his tone.

"You hardly ever mention our future together and tonight you even mention getting a fucking dog! What brought all this on?" She asked.

"Why the hell is starting a family with me making you angry?" He asked ignoring the question. The truth was he wanted to hurry up and marry Spencer so she wouldn't leave him. It was all he could think about after finding all those markings on her body on his birthday night.

Spencer sighed her irritation. "That's one of the reasons why I left Ohio. I don't want to be like every other girl in that small town. Getting married and having a whole bunch of kids before I'm even 20!" she chuckled humorously. "I'm sorry but that's just not what I want."

Aiden said nothing as he gazed down at his food.

Spencer ignored the dejected look on his face and continued eating her food.

"And if that's what I want?" He finally asked without looking at her.

"Then you'll have to find somebody else to give that to you." She answered without hesitation.

"And that wouldn't bother you?" He asked incredulously. A quick stab of pain ran through him when Spencer shook her head no.

Spencer looked at him and nearly choked on the food in her mouth when she saw how heart broken he really was. His vibrant blue eyes were dull and held so much sadness that it completely shattered Spencer's heart. All he ever does is expresses his love for you and in return you hurt him. She thought sadly. Spencer slowly moved her hand closer to his and hesitated when their fingers touched. Aiden sensed his girlfriend's hesitation and intertwined their fingers. A small breath of relief, Spencer didn't know she was holding, escaped her lips as she leaned her head on her boyfriend's broad shoulder.

"I love you, Aiden." She said softly.

One day Spencer would drive him insane, he thought with a small smile.

"I love you, too. Spencer."

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"Shake that ass baby!" Mike shouted at the dancing stripper on stage. He took a small sip of his 7th bud light and continued watching the half dressed blonde on stage. It was five pm and the place was filling up fast with men of all ages. Mike sat at a table next to a man who could easily pass for 100 and was too drunk to notice how annoyed the man was at his obscene shouting. "I can't believe Ashley's missing this." He slurred. Ashley hadn't crossed his mind in a while. He assumed she was having sex after the first two hours of waiting for her and stopped expecting her to meet him. "Man she has great tits." He mumbled while finishing off his beer.

After his intoxicated mind realized he was out of beer, the drummer pushed his chair back and stood up. He grimaced slightly when the sensitive skin under his tattoo shot of a wave of pain through his body. With an uneasy sigh, he walked through the throng of people while digging sloppily through his pockets for money. He reached the bar and froze when he heard the bartender call out, "Hey Pops what are you doing here?"

He abruptly turned his head to where the bartender was looking and immediately ran off when he saw the blonde headed manager looking the other way. "Shit! Shit! Shit." He hissed while stumbling through the darkened hallway. "I got to find Ash."

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"Fuck Ashley, that was good." Heather purred as she laid exhausted in the VIP room's couch.

"Yeah." Ashley mumbled as she sat up.

Heather immediately did the same and started unbuckling the rock star's belt while taking a ready nipple into her mouth. It had taken what seemed like forever to talk the rock star into taking off her shirt and bra. But it was well worth the wait, Heather reasoned when she laid eyes on the rock star's exposed upper body.

"Stop." Ashley choked out, fighting back a moan.

Heather tore her mouth off and looked up at the panting rock star. "Why?" She asked with a puzzled expression.

"I have to find my friend." She explained dryly while standing.

Heather watched Ashley rebuckle her belt and sighed when the rock star put on her bra. "Well this was fun." She said sadly while standing to put on her own clothes.

Ashley pulled her shirt over her head and faced the stripper. "I don't understand your tone. Don't you do all this shit all the time? No strings attached?" She asked slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, but I didn't even get to do anything to you." She said while strapping on her heels. "Don't you need a little something?" She purred while standing.

Ashley opened her mouth to reply but then closed it when the door busted open.

"Ashley Pops is here." Mike exclaimed as he stepped into the room.

"Fuck." Ashley hissed and looked over at Heather. "Do you have a car?"

"Uh…yeah."

"Good." She smirked. "Then the little something I need is a ride."

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The car stopped in front of a large brick building. The neighborhood they were in did not look safe at all. "Where are we?" Ashley asked from the back seat. She stared quizzically at an old man pushing a shopping cart filled with trash, across the street.

"My apartment." Heather answered simply while turning off the car. She looked up at the rearview mirror and met puzzled brown eyes. "You never said where you wanted to go so I decided to just go home."

Ashley didn't say anything. She just stared at the rundown apartment building surrounded with a little over 10 cars. "Are you having a party or something?" She asked vaguely hearing the music playing inside.

Heather opened her car door. "No, my roommate is. He always has one on Friday nights." She answered as she stepped out.

Ashley leaned forward and tapped her sleeping friend's shoulder. Mike stirred with a scowl on his face. "What." He slurred looking back at the rock star.

"We're here." She answered as she opened the back seat door. "Come on." She said before getting out.

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Spencer walked back stage covered head to toe in sweat. Ashley and Mike never showed up so Aiden had to take Ashley's place on guitar and Clay took Mike's place on drums. The crowd seemed confused when they saw Aiden and not Ashley start off the first song with a solo but then seemed okay when Glen announced Ashley was sick. Spencer sighed and followed the rest of the band to the limo.

Spencer kissed her boyfriend goodbye before entering the stretch escalade. They both agreed to go back to their own hotel rooms that night, being too tired to do anything more than sleep. Plus she didn't want Ashley to walk into their suite finding Aiden in her bed. She knew that would hurt the rock star and wanted to avoid causing Ashley anymore pain.

She took her seat next to Glen and let out a long yawn as they drove to their hotel.

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As they walked up the staircase leading to the apartment, Ashley glanced at Mike and wondered how he made it that far without falling. He was slightly swaying as he walked and Ashley wondered how many drinks he had back at the strip club. As they reached the door to the apartment Ashley wondered if this was a good idea. She didn't feel secure like she normally did when she was under her security guards watchful eyes. Maybe they should have just asked Heather to drop them off at the venue they were playing at, instead of this house party.

"You okay?" Heather asked as she placed a comforting hand on the rock star's shoulder.

Ashley slightly tensed and looked up. Her eyes fell on the large hickey that marked a small section of the stripper's neck and her face was suddenly burning. She never stayed long enough to see the aftermath of her actions after having sex with someone, except for Spencer, and she was feeling highly uncomfortable and too sober, looking at Heather. Her discomfort soon turned to guilt as she thought about Spencer. How can you say you love someone one minute and fuck a total stranger the next? Ashley frowned and lightly shook her head. She's not your girlfriend! You can fuck who ever you want, She mentally chastised herself. She's probably doing it with Aiden at this very moment and you're feeling guilty?! "I'm fine." She answered more curtly than she meant to. "I just need a drink." She added in a softer tone.

Heather nodded her head and turned her attention to the door. Opening it, the trio stepped inside and everyone in the room looked to drunk to care that they were celebrities.

The place was big and barely lit by dimming light bulbs. The air around them was thick with smoke coming from cigarettes and joints. Ashley looked around and saw various groups of people dancing in the middle of the room, sitting on the couch smoking pot, and noticed some people making out in the dark corners of the room. Her eyes slightly bulged when she saw a couple openly having sex in one of the corners that wasn't so dark. Ashley turned toward Heather, who was standing next to her, and leaned in close to her ear. "How bout that drink?" She asked over the loud music.

Heather looked at her. "What would you like?"

Ashley looked at everyone else and saw they were drinking bud weisers and Heineken. She looked back at Heather and mouthed Heineken. Heather smiled and placed a quick kiss on her lips before walking towards the kitchen. Ashley was a little surprised by the kiss but it didn't bother her too much. She just hoped Heather wouldn't forget the 'no strings attached' rule and give her shit when it was time to leave. Stripper drama was the last thing the young rock star needed.

Ashley looked over at Mike and rolled her eyes when she saw him sloppily making out with a red head. "Poor girl." She murmured while walking toward the couch. Ashley took a seat on one of the three couches, slightly aggravated from being pushed around the whole way there by the throng of dancing drunks, and watched a small white joint go from person to person, quickly coming her way.

"I thought I lost you." A voice whispered hotly in her ear.

Ashley turned her head toward the voice and came face to face with the stripper. "Not yet." She replied with a taunting smirk as she took one of the two beers in Heather's hand. A tap on her shoulder took Ashley's focus off the strawberry blonde and on the joint being offered to her. She took the small white joint and took a drag. The smoke burned her throat and lungs, making her eyes slightly water, and she slightly grimaced as she passed the joint to Heather. It had been a while since she last had any pot but she wasn't about to turn it down tonight. It was her day off. Ashley chuckled at the thought and smiled as she took a sip of her beer.

"Feeling good?" Heather asked as she brought her hand up to dark auburn hair, running her fingers through the wavy locks, she moved closer to the rock star.

"I guess." Ashley answered looking at her. She felt a warm rush go through her as Heather's free hand began to stroke up and down her inner thigh.

"I can make you feel better." She purred while sucking on a sensitive earlobe.

How pleasant! Ashley had no idea why she was letting this stranger kiss down her neck, or trail her hand up her abdomen, but didn't find herself too uncomfortable. In fact she was enjoying it. She wasn't even bothered by the audience they had or the drunken men she heard whispering 'that's hot' sitting across from them. Maybe it was the cocaine that was making her so careless or the fact that she just didn't care anymore. Why should she care? If someone did take a picture of her and a stripper fucking on a couch inside a stranger's apartment, the only person it would affect would be Pops. Ashley smiled at the thought. She wanted to piss her father off. That's one of the main reasons she bailed on their show. Oh yes life was good. Ashley thought watching Heather straddle her waist.

"You like this, don't you?" She whispered in her ear.

"Very much." Ashley answered placing her hands on the stripper's ass. "You?"

Heather nodded and dipped her head. Kissing down Ashley's jaw, she stopped at her chin and pressed their foreheads together. "Let's go to my bedroom." She husked staring into dark brown eyes.

Ashley nodded in agreement and they stood up. Walking toward the bedroom, Ashley stopped when she saw a guy with cocaine. Forgetting all about the stripper as her eyes fell on the soft white powder, she walked up to the man and offered him a wad of cash, not caring that she was getting ripped off, she easily traded the money for the clear plastic bag filled with cocaine and looked back at Heather. Heather didn't seem appalled or shocked that the rock star did drugs, since her boyfriend them too, and said nothing as they made their way to her bedroom.

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Spencer lied on her back in bed but couldn't fall asleep. She'd talked to her mom a long while about everything except Ashley and her plan to break up with Aiden. She knew Paula was very fond of Aiden and would be very upset if she ever broke up with him. She felt a little guilty telling her Mom how great and happy they were. It wasn't that much of a lie though. She wasn't unhappy with Aiden, she really did love him and knew he'd someday make a great husband and father but she just wasn't ready for that life yet. And then there was this thing with Ashley.

Spencer threw a pillow over her face. Not only was she falling for somebody else, but that somebody was Aiden's friend and was a girl! Her mother would die if she found out her only daughter broke up with her boyfriend to be with his best friend, who was a girl that she thoroughly enjoyed having sex with. Spencer groaned at the thought. And turned on her side, trying to find a comfortable position. If only she could talk to Ashley about all of this. She frowned. Where is she? Who is she with? And what are they doing?

Spencer closed her eyes. She couldn't stop her eyes from watering. Thinking back to the beach, she wondered if Ashley still saw what they were doing fucking. Spencer snorted. Of course she did! If she did all of those things out of love wouldn't she be with you right now instead of some groupie? Hell she probably does all that to all the girls she fucks. Two lazy tears made their way down Spencer's face as she continued thinking about Ashley. At least Aiden loved her. She thought before falling into a tiring sleep.

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Ashley stepped into the room and closed the door. She turned around and was pushed against the door with a hungry mouth covering hers before she had a chance to say a word. A little growl asked her lips as she tore her mouth of the stripper's. Her first priority was the small plastic bag in her hand, everything else, including Heather, just didn't matter to her at that moment. "Back off." She snapped as she violently pushed past the startled strawberry blonde.

Heather watched Ashley pour the cocaine on top of a mirror she had lying on top of her dresser and walked over to her after she snorted them. "How do you know that stuff is any good?"

"I don't." Ashley answered looking at her.

"Well that's not very safe." She responded staring into hungry brown eyes.

Ashley ignored the stripper's comment and pulled her small body into her own, capturing her lips in a demanding kiss, the rock star led the small strawberry blonde to the bed.

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Hearing the phone ring woke Spencer from her dreamless sleep. She kept her eyes closed and face buried in the pillow as she blindly reached for the phone sitting on top of the night stand.

"Hello?" She mumbled sleepily.

"Ashley?" An unfamiliar voice asked.

Sitting up Spencer yawned and asked, "Who is this?"

"Madison Duarte, her assistant gave me this number to reach her since her cell phone is off."

"Madison, I'm sorry but she's not here. Can I take a message?" She asked.

Madison sighed. "No that's alright." Her voice was filled with disappointment that made Spencer wonder. "Can you please just tell her to call me back?"

"Um, yeah sure."

"Thank you. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Spencer replaced the phone back in its cradle and stared at it quizzically. She moved her gaze over to the alarm clock by the phone and sighed when she read the bright red numbers. "2 A.M and there's still no sign of you?" She whispered while lying back down.

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Ashley climaxed, feeling the blonde stranger's mouth on her southern region, eating her out, and unconsciously groaned out Spencer's name. She got tired of finger fucking Heather and decided to find someone else to play with. Leaving the strawberry blonde 300 dollars, Ashley left her room and walked back into the party. She was surprised to see more people had shown up. Grabbing a beer, she walked onto the dance floor and started moving to the music. After a few more beers and songs, Ashley led the blonde she had been dancing with into the bathroom, where she easily allowed the blonde to remove her pants and go down on her.

"Who's Spencer!" The drunken woman demanded staring into Ashley's blood shot hooded eyes.

Ashley smiled at hearing the blonde's name. Her mind fogged from the alcohol and the drugs made her forget that she hated the blonde. "Love of my life." She answered between giggles.

Ashley didn't even see the slap coming. Her head violently snapped to the side as she heard the door to the bathroom close with a slam. "Fuck." She groaned as she cradled the already bruised cheek. She lightly shook her head and fixed her jeans before stumbling out of the bathroom. Leaning against the bathroom door, she watched everyone else dance, make out, fuck, talk, smoke, drink, and then her eyes fell on the couch. Heather sat, straddling some guys lap, with her tongue down his throat.

A snarl formed on her lips as she continued watching them. In Ashley's drug induced mind, the two figures on the couch turned into Spencer and Aiden. Her anger amplified the longer she watched them fondle and kiss each other. Tearing her gaze off them she looked around the room. "I'll show her." She slurred her eyes landing on her next victim.

The small drunk red head felt eyes on her and turned her head, meeting desire filled brown eyes, she flashed Ashley a small smile as she walked up to the rock star leaning against the door. They made small talk and the woman nearly fainted when they exchanged names. Knowing she was talking to a celebrity further aroused the red head and she grew bolder as their conversation. Placing a hand on the small of Ashley's back, she began to lightly stroke the skin she found there through the material of her shirt. Ashley was getting tired of the small talk and slightly narrowed her eyes when the small hand on her back moved to her front, moving under her shirt and making small circles around her navel. Smirking, she leaned forward and brought a hand behind the woman's head, possessing her offered mouth while opening the door behind them.

Ashley pulled herself and the red head into the bathroom and then closed it by pushing the red head against it. Her mouth stayed on the red head's as she started unbuttoning the stranger's shirt. Her hand froze mid way when she heard the song playing outside. 'Hold On'. Her mind went blank and then traveled back to the tonight show. Her eyes meeting Spencer after the song, the connection that passed between them, the warm rush that ran through her that split second she stared into the grey eyes that tortured and completed her at the same time. She moved away from the red head and mumbled an apology before rushing out of the room and then party.

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Spencer shot up from bed, hearing a very loud, disturbing crash. Fear was her first instinctual reaction to it but then she relaxed after hearing a familiar voice shout a string of curses. Her fear then turned into anger when she realized the voice belonged to Ashley. Quickly getting out of bed, she opened her bedroom door and walking into the sitting room. Her gaze landed on a very wet, tired looking Ashley. She stood staring down at a pile of glass that used to be a vase.

Ashley snorted and turned her head. Brown eyes met grey and she was momentarily taken aback. She gave the front desk man her name and he gave her an extra key to her suite but she didn't know she was sharing with Spencer. The grey eyes staring back at her glazed over with sorrow that she couldn't look away from. The combination of hate and love she felt for the blonde made her feel things that confused her. Seeing the sadness in her eyes should have made her feel better not worse. That's the whole reason she played hooky and fucked all those people today. To hurt Spencer. A lump formed in her throat and she felt like an ass. Breaking the eye contact Ashley looked back down at the glass, feeling like shit.

"Where'd you go?" Spencer asked softly, breaking the silence.

Ashley kept her eyes on the glass and merely shrugged. "Here and there."

"Do you even remember her name?" Spencer spat out bitterly before she could stop herself.

Ashley's head snapped up and she stared incredulously at Spencer. She closed the distance between them, forgetting about her guilty feelings as anger washed over her. Stopping a couple of feet away from her, flaming brown eyes stared into grey. "I'm not your fucking boyfriend." She hissed. "So don't fucking treat me like I am." She smirked. "I can fuck whoever I want, when ever I want, and as many as I want." She stated moving closer to Spencer.

Spencer stared into Ashley's blood shot eyes and stepped back when her alcohol stained breath assaulted her nose. "You're drunk." She stated dryly.

"And you're beautiful." Ashley slurred closing the distance between them and pushing Spencer against the wall.

"Wait….Ashley, no stop." Spencer demanded feeling Ashley kiss down her throat.

Ashley growled and lifted her head. She didn't have much patience. "If I don't get you then I'll just get somebody else." She threatened with a fire in her eyes.

Spencer's own anger got the best of her and she pushed the rock star away. "Then leave Ashley and go find some groupie to fuck." She spat while walking back into her room.

Ashley winced at the slamming door and headed toward the liquor cabinet. "I don't need a fucking groupie." She muttered while opening one of the bottles. "I need a man." She slurred. "And I choose you 'Jack Daniels'."

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Spencer spent the next hour tossing and turning in bed. After a while, she finally gave up on sleep and got out of bed.

"Ashley?" Spencer called out entering the sitting room. The rock star laid face down on the floor with her eyes closed, obviously passed out. Her clothes were still wet from walking in the rain and she still held the jack Daniels bottle in her hand.

Spencer sighed and walked over to the rock star. "Ashley." She tried again, gently shaking her shoulder.

Ashley groaned and slowly opened her unfocused blood shot eyes.

"Can you sit up?" She asked while taking the half empty bottle out of her hand.

"Huh?" Ashley asked with a confused look on her face. Spencer sighed again and helped Ashley sit up and then stand. Wrapping her arm around Ashley's slender waist, she walked them into her room. Spencer guided her to the mattress where the rock star fell sluggishly face first onto the mattress, falling fast asleep instantly.

Spencer watched her sleep a moment, hearing her breathing deepen and even as she slept, she herself starting feeling sleepy again. She quickly removed Ashley's shoes and wet clothing, leaving the rock star in her boxer shorts and bra, and covered her up with the large comforter. Yawning, Spencer walked to the other side of the bed and got in. Covering herself with the blanket she closed her eyes and also fell asleep.

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Grey eyes slowly opened, squinting as the morning light fell over them. Spencer turned her head, escaping the sun's bright rays, and her gaze fell on the rock star's sleeping face. Ashley slept rolled on her side facing Spencer with her lips parted, exposing the small barbell that lied inside. Spencer abruptly rolled onto her stomach and moved her face closer to Ashley's, getting a better look at the tongue piercing. The area around it was a little redder than the rest of the slightly swollen muscle and Spencer couldn't stop her hand from reaching out into the rock star's mouth to touch it. Ashley winced as soon as the small digit came into contact with the piercing and Spencer abruptly pulled her hand back. Sympathy washed over the blonde when she saw the rock star's face scrunch up in pain. Spencer ran her hand down Ashley's bruised cheek, smiling when the rock star's face immediately relaxed from her touch. What am I going to do with you Ashley? She wondered while gently pushing back wavy auburn locks of hair that had fallen across her face. Ashley's words from last night played in her mind as she continued to watch the rock star sleep. _I can fuck whoever I want, when ever I want, and as many as I want. _"Maybe Glen was mistaking when he said you loved me." Spencer whispered to the sleeping form, her grey eyes watering as she ran the back of her knuckles down her face. "You love what you do to me." She pulled her hand back and wiped away the tear running down her cheek. "What you do to groupies." She muttered slipping out of bed.

Spencer walked to the bathroom and stopped before entering. She looked back over her shoulder at the sleeping rock star and added, "You fuck them and then leave them."

Spencer took a long soothing shower and quickly dressed. After towel drying and combing her long blonde hair she went back to the bedroom and checked on Ashley. After seeing her beautiful face still relaxed in sleep, she left. Stepping out of the suite she froze when she saw Pops coming her way. Spencer placed a very strained fake smile over her lips and greeted the obviously sullen man with a, "Hey Pops."

Pops smiled back and returned her greetings. "Morning Princess." He looked over her shoulder and stared at the door. The smile fell off his face. "Is she in there?" He asked flatly making eye contact with the small bass player.

Spencer ran a nervous hand through her hair, thinking of a way to get the angry manager to leave, and sighed. "She's asleep." She simply answered and placed her hands on Pops shoulders when he moved forward, intent on barging into the room.

Pops looked down at her with a frown and crossed his arms over his a chest. A gesture he did when his patience was wearing thin. "Is there a problem?" He asked between clenched teeth.

A pang of fear ran through Spencer as she continued to stare into angry brown eyes, but that didn't stop her from trying to stop him from bothering Ashley. "Yes." She answered boldly. "You disturbing Ashley's much needed rest." She cut him off when he tried to speak. "She didn't get much sleep last night." She explained, and then further elaborated when she saw the careless look on his face. "She was drunk and most likely high when she came in around 3 and then drank some more after that. I helped her to bed around four and she's been sleeping since then. Her body's exhausted and she's probably going to have a really bad hang over when she wakes up. Your shit is the last thing she needs."

Pops stared at her slightly shocked by her foul mouth and boldness. After looking into her pleading grey eyes, he smirked and reluctantly agreed. "Fine Princess. She can have a couple of more hours, then" He held up a rolled up magazine in his hand "We will discuss this." He handed Spencer the magazine and left.

Spencer watched Pops leave and then looked down at the magazine in her hands. There was a large picture of Ashley walking out of a gentleman's club, following a small strawberry blonde, and a couple of smaller pictures beside it. One of them showed Ashley entering the stripper's car and then the other was of them driving off. Spencer was struck speechless. She suspected it but seeing the proof itself hurt a lot more than she could have ever imagined. It felt like she had just taken a major punch to the gut and she felt so stupid for thinking Ashley would just give up her crazy sex groupie life for her. Looking up with distant eyes, she spotted a trash can and thought about throwing the magazine away. Making up her mind she turned around and put the key into the hotel room door. She stepped inside and left the magazine at Ashley's bed side. Grey eyes moved over to the sleeping teen on the bed and she leaned forward. Soft pink lips barely brushed over Ashley's cheek before Spencer stood up and left.

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"Hold the elevator!" AJ said quickly, rushing into the elevator and thanking the blonde bass player for holding it. "I owe you one." He said slightly out of breath.

Spencer looked at the man who could easily pass for Ashley's twin and replied, "No problem." While smiling.

"You have such a lovely smile." AJ said returning the smile and loving her blush. "No wonder why you're on so many magazines."

Spencer inwardly groaned, hating the mental pictures the word 'magazine' brought on but still continued to smile. She wasn't going to let that ruin anymore of her day. "Believe me it's not my smile." She chuckled. "It's Aiden's body they love." Her boyfriend was in most of the magazine pictures she was in, with his arms wrapped around her or just standing by her side.

AJ snorted before he could stop himself, he never did like Aiden, and smiled sheepishly at the amused look Spencer gave him. "Believe me, you don't want to know." He joked stepping in sync with Spencer out of the elevator. AJ looked over at her and asked, "So….you headed back to your room?"

Spencer met his gaze and held up the hot cup of tea she was holding. After leaving their suite Spencer went down to the Casino's buffet and ordered a hot tea for Ashley. The waitress gave her a funny look before getting the tea and came back with the hot beverage and her digital camera. Spencer spent the next couple of minutes taking pictures and signing napkins before heading back to her suite. "It's for Ashley." She explained casually, not liking the skeptical look AJ had on his face.

"For Ashley." He repeated slowly. Interesting, he thought with the end of his lips quirking into a grin. "Well lucky her."

Spencer didn't say anything just nodded her head. They started walking toward the suite when Spencer's phone rang. She handed AJ the steaming cup and answered it. "Hello?...I'm headed to my room…..no…..um, right now?" She looked over at AJ who was watching her with mild interest. "You are?...No that's alright I'll just meet you there….okay, alright. Bye baby." Spencer closed her phone and sighed.

"Is there a problem?" AJ asked watching Spencer put her phone away.

Spencer looked at him and shook her head no. "Aiden wants me to meet him back at the buffet for breakfast." She explained with no enthusiasm. Her hopes of being able to talk to Ashley before she had to deal with Pops died when AJ offered to take the tea to her. A part of her wanted to talk things out with the rock star while the other part wanted nothing to do with her. "Um yeah thanks." She replied not knowing what else to say.

Spencer handed AJ her room key and said goodbye.

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After Ashley woke up she went straight to the bathroom and brushed her teeth, occasionally wincing as the bristles accidently brushed against her new piercing, making it hurt like hell. She didn't know how she was going to eat but then smiled when she realized she hardly ate anyway. "I guess smoothies are going to be my new best friend." She told her reflection around the toothbrush in her mouth.

The habit of calling food her friends began when she started taking cooking lessons from Shannon. The red head would always call her favorite foods pal, bud, best friend, and even love when they were eating and after a while Ashley started doing it to. She mostly does it when she cooks but it occasionally slips out every once in a while. Ashley smiled when she thought about all her lessons with Shannon. They were always fun and exciting but educational at the same time. Ashley was an extremely good cook and she had Shannon to thank for it. Her smile fell when the name popped up in her head and she slowly pulled the tooth brush out of her mouth.

She missed the red head immensely, Ashley realized while absently washing her face. Shannon was her first real crush and her only girl friend at the age 13. At the time everyone around the small teen were all male, harry, tattooed, pierced, dirty, foul mouthed, and old, making Ashley grateful she had Shannon to hang around with. The red head would occasionally take her out to do normal teenage things like see movies and shop. They mostly did those things before Ashley played on stage or after a show, if it wasn't too late, and Ashley cherished every second of it, knowing it wouldn't last long. '16 candles from hell' were quickly rising on the charts and Ashley barely had time to breathe much less go to see a movie with her cook. They still hung out and Shannon still gave Ashley cooking lessons, when Ashley had the time, and after a while the rock star started seeing Shannon as someone she wanted to be more than friends with someday. She wanted Shannon to be her girlfriend. Her first girlfriend. But the age difference stopped Ashley from thinking like that. She doubted a 20 year old would want anything to do with a 14 year old so decided to keep it to herself until she was older.

Another year passed by with Ashley extremely busy with the band. The beginning of the year was spent writing the new album and the rest was spent touring. It was December and the show they had to play in Ohio was cancelled due to the enormous amount of snow that had fallen the night before. 15 year old Ashley was ecstatic. It had been a couple of weeks since she last cooked with Shannon and she was missing the red head like crazy. Ashley entered the hotel they were staying at and went straight to front desk to ask which room the cook was assigned to. She thanked the man who gave her the information and ran straight to the elevator. When Ashley reached the cook's suite she stared quizzically down at the small 'do not disturb sign' on the door knob. She carefully put her ear to the door and then abruptly pulled back when she heard male grunts from inside. Ashley was shocked and then angry at the cook. In her eyes the cook now looked like a groupie whore. The people Ashley hated the most.

It wasn't long before the door to Shannon's suite opened. Ashley had been sitting in front of the door across from the red head's suite, drilling holes into the room across from her with fuming brown eyes that only got hotter when she saw the male walk out, smiling when he saw her. Ashley's dark eyes, filled with rage and hate, widened at seeing it was their driver, Charlie, who had been making those disgusting noises with her Shannon. She abruptly stood and ordered him to get out of her sight. He was confused at the little girl's attitude and tried to question her but she kept interrupting him, shouting 'get the fuck away'. After realizing the small guitar player wasn't listening he stalked off. Not long after, Ashley stormed into the cook's suite and did the exact same thing. Ordering her to get out and never come back. The cook looked hurt but didn't say anything to the 15 year old. Ashley left and gave Rachael instructions to buy her a plane ticket. After that she went to her father and told him they needed a new driver, which AJ ended up being.

Nobody questioned Ashley's decision to get rid of the cook and bus driver. They all just assumed Ashley's new rock star ego had gotten to her and she did it because she could do it. But that wasn't the case and Ashley felt alone after Shannon left. It was just her and whole bunch of guys. She didn't want another cook on the bus or in her life.

It wasn't long before the loneliness and depression got the best of her and she was miserable until she stumbled upon Marijuana and the other drugs that followed. It helped her forget all about the red head and cooking. The two things she loved the most at the time. Her drug use never affected her performance on stage since guitar playing was like breathing to her. It was just so natural. The other members didn't try to stop her when she did it in front of them. They were quickly getting use to drug use since everyone else around them did it. But it always saddened them to see Ashley do it. Especially Glen who saw her like family. He hated what she was doing to her body but couldn't say anything about it. It was Ashley's business, Ashley's body, and he assumed she was too stubborn to listen to him anyway, so why bother?

The band watched as Ashley slowly withdrew from them after a while. She wasn't very talkative and normally stayed in her room on the bus when they were touring on the road. Her cooking habits also died since she was never really hungry anymore. Weeks turned to months in a blink of an eye and Ashley didn't care that she hadn't picked up a spatula since the red head's departure. She knew her cooking skills weren't going anywhere so decided to focus on her new love. Drugs.

Ashley snapped out of her reverie when she heard the suite's door open. Curious, she walked out of the bathroom, in her bra and underwear, and narrowed her eyes at AJ, who stood holding up the cup of tea. "Good morning, Ashley." He walked passed her and entered the bedroom behind her, not caring for an answer. He looked at the bed and arched an eyebrow at the disheveled sheets. Both sides were obviously slept in meaning two people were sleeping in it. More interesting. He thought walking to the end table.

"Are you looking for something?" She spat at her annoying cousin.

Her head, mouth, and stomach hurt like hell and she knew AJ would only make her feel worst. When she woke up she knew the second her eyes opened today was going to suck, but now, seeing her cousin act like the fucking king of England, she knew it was beyond 'suck'. Her distress was always his pleasure and seeing the stupid taunting smile on his face told her he was pretty damn happy.

"No. I'm looking at something." He answered smugly, putting the cup of tea a side. "Check this out, Ash." He held up the magazine, loving the shade ash Ashley's face turned at seeing the pictures. "Front page too. The world must love you." He laughed a little, fueling Ashley's anger and embarrassment.

"Wow I'm on a cover of a magazine, big whoop." She exclaimed as casual as possible, trying her hardest to keep from reaching out and breaking things. Having her personal life on live display was just something she despised. After dealing with it all of her life she still wasn't use to it. Ashley moved passed her slightly disappointed cousin and picked up her tea. Taking a small sip she took a seat on the bed. "This is good." She said while looking up at AJ. "Thanks." She said with a forced smile.

AJ just stared at her wondering why she wasn't freaking out. "Don't thank me. Thank Spencer." He said leaning against the large dresser.

Ashley choked a little on the liquid she had sipped when the name registered in her mind. Did Spencer see the magazine? Her mind raced at the thought and her nerves jumped with panic. "Who put that there?" She asked with a shaky voice as her body rose from the bed. Ashley stared into the brown eyes that mirrored her own and hoped it was her idiot cousin who did it and not Spencer.

AJ raised an eyebrow at her pleading tone. He filed it away for later and answered honestly. "Spencer did it since she's the only one with the key."

Ashley felt dizzy and the ground under her feet disappeared. Taking a seat numbly back on the bed, she stared distantly down at her bare feet. She thought back to last night but couldn't remember much. Her mind conjured pictures of her leaving Heather's apartment and then walking to the casino in the rain, then fast forward to when she reached her suite. After that it was all just a blur. She vaguely remembered hearing a door slam and then going to the liquor cabinet but that's about it.

"Ashley."

Startled, Ashley looked up. "Yeah?" She asked dryly, wishing AJ would just leave.

"You kind of zoned out for a minute."

Ashley looked away from her unconcerned cousin and stared at the magazine in his hand.

"Where is Spencer?" She asked in a small almost afraid voice.

AJ saw the undisguised fear in her face and chewed on his lower lip. What was going on between them? He wondered while answering Ashley's question. "She's having breakfast with Aiden," He paused when he saw Ashley's hands close into angry fists, clutching the bed sheets under them. He also noticed the abrupt clench in her jaw. Staring suspiciously at her he asked, "Why do you ask?"

Ashley looked back over at him, her eyes hard and had a cold, almost fearful, edge to them. "Just wondering." She answered casually, releasing the sheets in her hands and slowly stood from the bed. "Let me see that." She said motioning toward the magazine.

AJ handed Ashley the magazine and watched her turn the pages with a grin placed on his lips.

Ashley saw him grinning out of the corner of her eye and couldn't keep the snarl off her face. AJ was only adding onto her irritation, like always, and ignoring him was starting to be a difficult task with the eerie aurora radiating off him. Half of her attention was wondering what the little weasel was up to while the other half was on the magazine. Ashley found the page she was looking for and started reading all the fake buillshit they wrote about the pictures. The rock star found herself laughing at some of it. Everyone knew she was gay already, she publically came out after she turned sixteen in a tv interview, and was glad nobody made a big deal about it, but this was the first time the paparazzi had actually caught her doing something with another girl. Well she was glad they didn't actually catch her doing things to the stripper. Ashley smirked. That would have sucked, she reasoned as she closed the magazine and threw it back on the end table. But it still didn't look good being caught leaving a strip club, she also thought with a heavy sigh.

"Was she good?" AJ asked with a large smile.

Ashley looked at him and shrugged, "She was okay."

AJ approached the night stand, picking up the magazine he said, "She's cute," He moved his gaze over to his cousin, "what's her name?"

"Hannah? No wait Barbra. No…." Ashley trailed off and just shrugged again.

"Well she must not have been that good." AJ quipped with genuine amusement.

"I guess not," Ashley agreed, meeting his gaze. "I'm going to shower now and then I'll see Pops when I finish."

"Alright." AJ responded while walking out of the room.

Ashley sighed heavily, she knew seeing Pops was definitely going to suck.

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After her shower, Ashley walked into the main lobby, hungry and just not in the mood for her father's bitching yet. She wore a tight black tank top with a white skull logo on the front, stopping 2 inches above her pierced navel, a small jean skirt with black/white stripped tights stopping above her ankle, black studded belt, black converse, and a small black leather Chanel bag. The smell of the buffet got her attention and she wondered aimlessly inside. She was very hungry, but slightly nauseated, and wondered if eating would make her feel better or worse. She also wondered if she could eat anything with her new sensitive tongue piercing. Maybe a trip to smoothie king would be more appropriate, she mused staring at the crowded buffet. Yeah smoothie king is a definite must.

"Ashley!"

She heard before she could turn around and leave. Ashley turned toward the voice and visibly paled at seeing both Spencer and Aiden. Aiden was standing at his seat, a broad grin over his lips as he waved Ashley over to him. Spencer on the other hand wasn't as welcoming. She sat silently staring down at her plate of pancakes, keeping her angry gaze down at her food and not at the rock star where it belonged.

Ashley looked back at Aiden and returned his smile, ignoring as much of her discomfort as possible when he hugged her. "Hey, how have you been?" Aiden asked releasing his hold on the tense teen.

"Peachy." Ashley answered casually with a hint of sarcasm.

Two pair of eyes moved at the same time and both girls felt lumps form in their throats at seeing each other. They stood momentarily still just staring into one another eyes. Ashley's dark brown eyes unguarded and full of so much pain, guilt, and regret, gazed into Spencer's grey angry eyes. "Morning Spencer." Ashley greeted politely, her voice full of confidence and casualty she wasn't feeling, as she stuck her hand out.

"Morning Ashley." Spencer returned with a strained smile as she took the rock star's hand. Grey eyes abruptly looked down at their hands when she felt Ashley's tremble. Was she nervous? Scared? Spencer wondered as she let go of the shaky hand.

Aiden looked between the two, chuckling. "Come on guys that's how you would greet a stranger. We're all friends here, hug."

Ashley visibly tensed and as if in a trance walked into Spencer's arms, wrapping her arms around the blonde while Spencer did the same. Ashley relaxed and closed her eyes losing herself in the blonde's seemingly warm embrace, wishing the warmth was real, but it was all cold and awkward for both teens and Ashley realized how cold and fake it really was when she pulled back and looked into cold grey eyes. "Hello Spencer." The rock star said softly.

Spencer didn't answer she just looked over at Aiden and was relieved to see him smiling brightly, obviously satisfied with their 'friendly' greeting, and took her seat. Aiden insisted Ashley join them, and wouldn't take no for an answer, forcing Ashley to agree and regret ever getting out of bed. He took the seat next to Spencer, while Ashley sat across from the couple, looking at the napkin holder.

"Do you want the buffet or something off the menu?" Aiden asked casually.

"I don't want anything." She answered meeting his gaze. "Well I can't have anything." She showed him her tongue when he looked at her with a puzzled expression. "I can only have soft foods."

"Whoa, did you do that yesterday?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah," She answered quietly, hoping Aiden wouldn't ask about her yesterday.

"It's nice." He took a bite of his scramble eggs. "So what else did you and Mike do yesterday?"

"A little bit of everything." She mumbled, "Nothing exciting." She casually added while pulling out a small box of Marlboro. Ashley lit up her cigarette while their waitress came over to check on them. After refilling two cups of orange juice, she looked over at Ashley and asked, "What can I get for you ma'am?"

Ashley's reply was a simple 'nothing' and Aiden's attention was back on her the second the waitress left. "That's not what Mike said." Aiden teased. "I heard last night was really exciting."

Ashley quickly glanced over at Spencer, who still hadn't said a word, and wondered how much she knew about last night. She still didn't know if Spencer knew about the magazine, but reminded herself she did nothing wrong. Spencer isn't your girlfriend, She continued to tell herself while staring into Aiden's eager blue eyes. "Well Mike would know." She noted casually. "But to sort of answer your question, yes last night was exciting." Ashley answered not daring to look in Spencer's direction.

"I bet." Aiden chuckled, "He came back to the hotel around 5 this morning." He laughed a little harder. "He looked like he had been having sex all day and all night. I can only imagine what you looked like."

"I looked like shit." Ashley mumbled while staring at the table cloth. She could feel Spencer's eyes on her, filling her slowly with guilt, and couldn't take it anymore. She had to get out of there, escape, from what she was feeling. Remembering the cocaine she had tucked away in her other pants, she gently pushed her chair back and stood, avoiding Spencer and her penetrating gaze. Telling herself Spencer wasn't her girlfriend did nothing to ease her guilty conscious. But she knew the cocaine will make it better. It always made it better. "I have to go." She stammered before rushing out of there.

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Ashley stepped out of the elevator and walked briskly toward her suite. A light sheen of sweat covered her body, her hands trembled, her heart raced, her throat tightened in anticipation for what she needed so desperately to keep from feeling. To make her problems disappear. She opened her bag, dropping it 3 times in the process, pulled out her key card and opened the door. Stepping inside her stomached churched when she saw her father standing in the middle of the room, eyes hard and lips formed in a disturbing frown.

Ashley closed the door and leaned heavily against it. She stared defiantly back at Raife with irritation oozing out of every pour on her body. Feeling in desperate need of a fix, she spat, "Say something or leave."

The rock star couldn't stand being stared at by the last person she wanted see and could feel the on coming effects of a head ache starting around her temples. She knew it wasn't going to be easy dealing with Pops, and would have preferred being high for it, but knew that wasn't going to happen now. Her mind was in an anxious state of want and patience was just something she didn't have at the moment.

"What else can I say to you Ashley?" He smiled humorously, "Congratulations. You pushed me to a point where I'm officially out of words." Placing his hands on his waist, he looked down and slowly shook his head no. "Tell me Ashley, what was going on in that head of yours when you decided to skip a show to play with a stripper." He looked up at her, his voice rising as he added, "My stripper."

Ashley stared at her father a moment before answering. "I hated what you said to me. I wanted to make you pay. Piss you off." She added with a taunting smile.

"Piss me off." Raife repeated calmly. "Okay Ashley, mission accomplished. I hope the band's embarrassment was worth it. Do you feel better now?" He spat sarcastically.

"Much." Ashley retorted bitterly. "In fact if I could do it all over again I would. Except I wouldn't bother coming back to this fucking casino." She smiled. "I would spend the rest of my life fucking your stripper."

Raife frowned. "You're so fucking selfish it makes me sick." He spat moving toward the door. He barely kept his anger in check as he hovered over his daughter. She stood leaned up against the door staring boldly back into his eyes. Her lips lined in a taunting smile as they gazed into one another eyes. He snorted. "You're happy you pissed me off, eh?" He asked rhetorically, his own lips slowly lifting into a smile. "Well you may not care what me, Glen, Clay, or even what Spencer think about you skipping a show to fuck around but what is your mother going to say when she sees the magazine?" Ashley visibly paled and her smile instantly vanished. _Bingo. _"What would Kyla think of her big sister then?" His smile widened, "Seeing her outside of a strip club."

Time froze for Ashley when she realized how this was going to affect her relationship with her mother and sister. She left them at the restaurant when things got too dramatic for her, putting the bill on her credit card, she just took off. That's how she deals with all of her problems. She leaves, escapes, runs away from them, being too high to care about them the next day, she ignores them. How was she going to that with this? She loved Kyla too much to just run away from her but how could she explain the pictures to her little sister? Lie to her? No she wasn't going to do that again. Tell her the truth? Ashley snorted. The truth was shewas too high on cocaine to have noticed the damn paparazzi and got caught riding off with the stripper she had just fucked in the VIP room of her father's strip club. Ashley felt stuck. Lost, confused, angry, and just plain sad. Her sister was a big part of her life and losing her would be devastating. Tears spilled down Ashley's face without her even realizing it. What am I going to do? She mentally asked herself. Dull lifeless brown eyes looked up, tears continued to fall as she looked up into her father's satisfied face. "I hate you." She whispered numbly. The words sounding so weak but so bitter that it sent a shiver down Raife's spine.

They had never spoken the words out loud before but both knew that's how they felt about each other. The sad part about it was Raife didn't care. He could careless about having a decent relationship with his daughter. Since day one he only saw Ashley as someone who could continue his career and continue earning him money and fame when he got too old to do it himself. And she was proving to be his perfect little money making machine and that's all that mattered to him. Looking into her sad eyes, he felt a little bad and sighed. "I can't say that bothers me much." He honestly replied. Digging into his pocket he pulled out a small bag of cocaine. He took his daughter's hand and gave it to her. "Enjoy it kid." He said before walking out of the room.

Ashley sunk to the floor, her legs giving out, she felt so alone, why? She couldn't answer that. A part of her always knew her father didn't care but why was actually seeing it hurting her this much? Ashley looked at the cocaine. Should she before calling her sister? Would it make it easier? Yes. It would make it a lot easier, Ashley thought while pulling out her cell phone. But she wasn't going to call her little sister high.

Ashley dialed the number with trembling hands. She didn't remember the last time she was this nervous. The phone rang three times before Kyla answered. "Ashley?" Kyla answered. Her voice was casual and not full of hate like Ashley expected, making the rock star slightly relax.

"Yeah it's me." Ashley replied with her voice thick from crying. She lightly cleared her throat before continuing. "Listen Ky, I'm so sorry about…." Ashley trailed off when she heard a voice in the background and then froze when she heard Brenda's voice blaring in her ear.

"Do you need something, Ashley?" She asked flatly.

Ashley stopped her self from saying 'ma' and replied, "Brenda, I wanted to apologize." She explained sounding like the little girl Brenda never had.

"For what Ashley?" Brenda barked, "For ruining Kyla's only night with you? Or for making me the most humiliated mother on earth?"

"For both." Ashley choked, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so, so, sorry, Ma" She whispered hoarsely.

Brenda closed her eyes, hearing the pain in her daughter's voice was breaking her heart, but she couldn't let Ashley get away with it that easily. Not only were the pictures on the magazine covers but they were also in the newspapers and on the TV news. Kyla knew nothing about it but Brenda knew that wasn't going to last long. "Ashley, be honest with me. Are you still doing drugs?" She asked hoping she wasn't. Ashley closed her eyes and answered honestly telling her mother 'yes'. "Then I don't want Kyla or myself to have anything to do with you." Brenda said with her own tears spilling from her eyes. She thought Ashley was clean, but after seeing the pictures, she started doubting her assumptions.

Ashley's world crashed at hearing her mother's words. She was openly sobbing now and couldn't stop. Brenda sighed and explained to her daughter why, telling her she had assumed she was clean, but knowing that she wasn't, she couldn't have a drug addict around her daughter. "I understand." Ashley managed to say between sobs. "Bye Ma." She closed her phone and violently threw it away from her. Bringing her knees up to her chin, she wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her forehead against her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

Spencer stood at the open doorway. Her heart breaking and her own tears started welling up in her eyes at the scene. "Ashley." She whispered softly while taking a seat next to the distraught rock star. Ashley kept crying as if Spencer's wasn't there. Ignoring the blonde's concerned questions as she struggled to control her wracking body. Warm arms wrapped themselves around her, Ashley kept her eyes closed and simply allowed Spencer to hold her. Feeling safe, warm, and loved, her tears gradually started to slow down and then stopped all together.

They sat there a while longer. Neither saying a single word. Finally, Ashley pulled back and looked up into Spencer's flushed from crying face. Their eyes met and the coldness that stained deep grey eyes before had been replaced with….love? Ashley wondered as Spencer brushed a few strands of hair away from her face. Did Spencer love her? The look in Spencer's eyes said more than a thousand love words and Ashley felt her heart swore at the thought of Spencer loving her. But then it was gone as soon as it came. And her giddiness soon turned to doubt. Do I deserve to be loved by Spencer?

Her thoughts were cut off by the feel of Spencer lips kissing her own. Ashley closed her eyes feeling Spencer's hand cup her face but she couldn't stop thinking. Why was Spencer doing this? Being so nice after everything she did the day before? She wondered if Spencer even knew what she did. Ashley gently pushed Spencer on her back and covered the blonde's body with her own, straddling her waist while dazedly kissing down her neck. Her mother's conversation played in her mind. Ashley didn't know how or when she mislead her mother into thinking she was clean. Sitting up, Ashley pulled the blonde's shirt over her head and just stared at her a moment. Would she be like her mother and abandon her when she saw her true colors? Ashley continued to gaze at Spencer and wondered what would happen when she saw the pictures of her and stripper. Would she also want to have nothing to do with her? Of course. Nobody wants a pathetic drug addicted sex fiend. Then why is she gazing so lovingly at me? Ashley wondered why running the backs of her knuckles down her face. Am I misleading you too? Setting myself up for more heartache by lying to you? More questions but little answers continued to run through Ashley's mind as she kissed Spencer's cheek tenderly and continued down to her ear.

Spencer closed her eyes when she felt Ashley's lips on her skin. It felt good to have Ashley like this, She blissfully thought, while running her hands up the rock star's back. She wanted Ashley to know now. Know that she loved her, feeling the rock star needed to know someone did. She had heard a lot of Ashley's phone conversation with her mother and she knew it was wrong to ease drop but she couldn't just leave Ashley alone. That was the last thing Ashley needed to be. Alone. "Ashley I lo-"

Ashley cut in, "I fucked two girls yesterday." She whispered painfully into her ear, closing her eyes when she felt the body underneath her tense. She had to be honest with Spencer, wanting the blonde to know who she was, no more lies, misleadings, or bullshit. Just the truth. "I even let another girl go down on me in the bathroom."

Spencer was stunned, upset, and angry. Her mouth felt dry and her throat tight. "Why are you telling me this?" She demanded softly.

"I thought you should know a little bit more about the person you're letting fuck you." She answered dryly while pulling back. Ashley got off Spencer and scooted back against the wall. Crossing her legs, she stared emptily at the cocaine on the floor.

It was hearing the 'f' word that shattered Spencer's heart. It took every bit of self control she had to keep from crying. Ashley just saw her as another fuck. Like the two girls she fucked yesterday, Spencer realized as she put her shirt back on. The air around them was thick with tension as Spencer stood and stared down at Ashley. Could she continue just being another on of Ashley's play thing? No. She couldn't be with the rock star knowing she was fucking every other girl around them.

"Just go Spencer." Ashley said quietly. She just wanted to be alone and snort a couple of lines. Not caring what she does after that. When Spencer failed to move, Ashley looked up at her begging, "Please."

Spencer knew why Ashley was pushing her away. The answer lied a couple feet away from her on the floor. A part of her wanted to stay and.. and what? How do you help someone who doesn't want help? Spencer let the tears spill out her eyes as she walked to the suite's door. She opened it and looked back at Ashley. Mouthing 'I love you' before walking out.

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The next week flew by in a blink of an eye with Spencer and Ashley far too busy with their careers to fix their damaged relationship. TV interviews, radio shows, magazine shoots, and tour shows kept the band extremely busy, leaving little time for anything other than sleep and food. Ashley spent whatever little free time she had on drugs, clubs, and groupies. She immediately put a stop to sharing a suite with Spencer after their second night together, finding the idea of fucking and doing drugs with Spencer in the next room awkward. Thinking back, she remembered exactly how uncomfortable the second night had been. After a tension filled dinner with Spencer, they did their own things. Ashley, still sitting at the table, played around with her cell phone while occasionally glancing up to see Spencer fool around with her laptop, which the rock star gave her permission to use after being nervously asked. They spent the next couple of hours that way and it wasn't long before Ashley got bored of her cell phone. Closing it, she looked up and watched Spencer turn on the TV and get into bed with a satisfied smile etched over her lips. The movie must be good, she thought and after a slight hesitation, Ashley also got up and took a seat at the edge of her bed. Her eyes stayed glued to the TV as she watched the movie. She faintly felt the blonde's eyes on her but ignored them. Her mind strayed to the past and she thought about the last time she had seen a movie with someone. It was with Heather. She frowned at the thought and lightly shook her head, keeping all of her attention on the movie; she kept her mind blank and forgot about everything….everyone.

With a smile, Ashley got up and turned off the TV when the movie finished. She really liked it even though it was kind of stupid. Looking at the bed next to hers, she smiled at Spencer's sleeping form. It took every bit of self control the rock star had to keep from getting into bed with the blonde and spending the night snuggled up against her warm body. Ashley lightly shook her head and removed the comforter off her bed and tucked Spencer in with it. Placing a light kiss on the top of her blonde head, Ashley spent the next couple of minutes just watching her sleep. Memories of her and Spencer on the beach came to mind as she lightly stroked flawless blonde hair. Then the memories turned to reality and she realized how bad everything had turned. Losing her mother and sister, losing Spencer, having the band hate her, all of that crashed down on her and she couldn't handle it….sober. Standing, she walked to her suitcase and quickly opened it. Digging for what she so desperately needed, all Ashley could think of was Spencer. What if she caught her snorting it? Ashley was angry at herself for thinking that. Why should she care if Spencer saw her doing cocaine? It's not like she hasn't before, she reasoned sadly.

Pulling out her stash of cocaine, Ashley opened it and stared down at the small white powder. She remembered the night they went to have dinner with her mother. In the limo, her mind replayed Spencer asking 'Did you snort any?' and then she remembered the guilt she felt after answering 'yes'. Seeing the hurt and disappointment fill Spencer's sad grey eyes, she couldn't deal with that again. Angry, she threw the cocaine back into the suitcase and stood. Her body was craving it but there was no way in hell she would risk being high and alone with Spencer in the same room. Sex was always something the cocaine made her want, and she didn't want to risk her doing something she'd regret to Spencer.

Feeling restless frustrated, and mad, she started pacing back and forth in front of both queen size beds, trying to tire herself out enough for sleep. Her mind became a whirlwind of thought as she thought about everything; The band, her parents, Spencer, drugs, fame, everything ran through her mind as she continued pacing back and forth, back and forth. A knock at the door shook her out of her mind and brown eyes drifted to the window and widened when they realized it was morning. Ashley looked at the small alarm clock sitting on top of the night stand and gasped when she saw it was 7 AM. Taken aback, she answered the door and was greeted by Rachael. After being told to see Pops ASAP, Ashley closed the door and headed for the shower.

Fully dressed wearing a band tee and jeans, Ashley stepped into the hotel lobby and spotted Pops reading a newspaper on the couch. "You rang." She spat taking a seat in the arm chair across from him. She hated every bone in his body and being in his air space was more than torturous.

"I got a very surprising phone call this morning." He said, voice casual and eyes never leaving the newspaper.

Ashley slightly narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him. She hated when he sounded happy and not upset. That usually meant something she didn't like was going on. "And what does this phone call have to do with me?" She asked with controlled anger.

"It's not something horrible." He reassured putting his paper down. Meeting her gaze he added, "I think you'll enjoy what I've arranged for you."

She didn't like where this was going. "Arranged? What the fuck does that mean?!" She demanded standing.

"Sit back down. People are staring." He commanded with a frown. Ashley looked around and noticed all the eyes on her and barely bit back yelling 'mind your own business' before retaking her seat. "Now that you're calm, I'll continue." He said with a bit of sarcasm. "Madison Duarte called. She asked about doing a piece on….you-"

"Wait, Madison. The reporter Madison?" She cut in.

"Yes."

"What did you say?" Ashley asked seething with anger.

Pops smiled a little. "I said yes of course."

"This isn't fair!" She shouted standing furiously from her seat. Again every eye in the room was on her. "That wasn't your fucking decision to make!" She added raising her voice.

"Can you guys take it outside?" The hotel manager asked from the front desk.

Ashley stormed out of the building followed by Pops. "I'm not doing it." She defiantly spat as soon as Pops walked outside.

He scowled. "Can you stop acting like a fucking Brat and let me explain?"

"I don't want details. I'm not doing it." She said evenly before walking away from him. Ashley felt a hand violently grip her upper arm before she was forcibly spun around, facing her father.

"Listen you little shit, you're doing this interview thing. It's not a big deal. She's just going to join us on the road for the last few tour shows and write how you spend your days."

Ashley abruptly pulled her arm out of his grasp. "And the point to me doing this is…."

"It'll make you look good, especially after the paparazzi caught you in front of the strip club." He answered flatly. "You need to do this."

Ashley laughed bitterly. "So a reporter is going to follow me around and write down everything I do for a few days, is that right?" Pops nodded. "And her writing about my drug use and groupie fun is supposed to make me look good?" She asked incredulously.

Pops frowned. "It's not like she's going to be with you 24/7." He sighed. "Just don't be yourself when she's around. Smile a lot and at least act like you're happy."

"I'm not an actress." She hissed. "I'm not going to act like I don't do drugs, I'm not going to act like I don't have sex, and I'm not going to act like I love you." She added with her eyes hardening. Everyone in the media saw them as the perfect father/daughter team. Seeing Ashley as the happy little girl who followed in her father's footsteps and became a great guitar player like him, not knowing she was forced into the business without a choice. In front of the world they acted very much like that though. Hugging, holding hands, smiling, Ashley and Pops seemed like they really loved each other, which wasn't the case at all. "If you make me do this…they'll see me, and not the person you want me to act like."

Pops smirk turned into a taunting smile. "No you will do it. Exactly as I tell you or the world will know about you and Princess." Ashley opened her mouth to argue but Pops cut her off. "I still have the DVD of you two rolling around on the beach. If you don't do this correctly, Spencer Carlin will be known as the world's biggest whore for cheating on Aiden, the media's favorite man right now, and you don't want that for your 'lover', do you?"

Ashley paled as she slowly shook her head no. She knew Pops never bluffed on any black mail threat and destroying Spencer's reputation was not an option, so she agreed to do it.

That night Ashley partied twice as hard. It was the first night, in a couple of days, that she had her own room and she was going spend her freedom unreservedly. Not caring about the hangover she would have afterward, she spent the entire night doing cocaine and playing with the groupie she found outside her hotel room door. The two spent the beginning of the night in the shower, which ruined some of Ashley's night. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop thinking of the shower she'd shared with Spencer back at her beach house a couple of nights before. Things got worse when she started kissing the nameless girl under the shower head, closing her eyes, she imagined everything she had done with Spencer in her mind.

After a quick kiss, Ashley opened the large shower door and stepped inside with a wide smile plastered on her lips, followed by an equally giddy Spencer. After turning on the water, she faced Spencer and was surprised by her timid form. The blonde stared blankly at the shampoo rack with an uncertain look on her face. Ashley could tell she was deep in thought, thinking about something….or someone. But she didn't want to think of that person right now, instead, she walked closer to Spencer and pulled her into a tender hug, kissing her shoulder gently she asked 'are you okay?' and was relieved when she felt Spencer nod her head 'yes' against her shoulder. Pulling back, she smiled at the eager sparkle that shinned in happy grey eyes that she could easily stare into forever, a liftime.

"Are we close to the moaning part yet?" She heard Spencer tease before feeling her arms wrap around her neck.

"I've got a better idea." Ashley whispered moving back, she pulled the blonde along with her under the shower head and smiled when Spencer gasped, surprised by the water. Soon, the warm water cascading over both teens caused each to feel both comfortable and slightly aroused. Tan hands roamed up and down the expanse of a very wet back while Ashley kissed the warm water droplets off Spencer's neck and shoulders. "Ashley." Was gasped when Ashley's panting breaths fell over a rock hard nipple. 'We don't have time for this.' After a moment of thought, Ashley groaned and reluctantly pulled away from the her, realizing she was right, they spent the rest of the shower actually showering, both occasionally kissing each other before soaping certain parts of each other's body with a soapy mesh sponge, and their bare hands.

Hearing the groupie moan shook Ashley out of her musing and she felt sick. Pulling back, she looked into the groupie's face and opened her mouth to speak, intent on telling her to leave, but then stopped when she saw the girl get down on her knees. Closing her eyes, Ashley let her head fall back against the wet tile wall behind her and enjoyed the pleasure she was receiving from the stranger's tongue. 

After the shower Ashley went straight to the dresser and snorted a couple of lines of cocaine before heading to bed, where the groupie patiently lied. Spending two hours with the brunette, Ashley finally got bored of her and sent her out the door. The cocaine in her system made her feel restless so she got dressed and walked out of the room. Her mind was blank as she stepped into the elevator and remained that way the whole way down to the lobby. Reaching the lobby, she walked out of the hotel and took a seat on the ground. The fresh air soothed some of her restless form but not much. Watching the rain pour heavily in front of her, she smoked two cigarettes and froze when she saw Aiden walk past her, fixing his belt, Ashley knew what he had been up to. Earlier walking to her suite she saw the 'do not disturb' sign on Spencer's door but she didn't care much. Hell they were practically married, she reasoned -- but now watching him get into the limo, she snarled and couldn't help but hate him. He had just finished fucking the woman she loved while she sat cold and wet outside. She smoked another cigarette and with a heavy sigh got up and went back inside, wondering if Aiden would ever be the one sitting outside while she had Spencer all to herself.

Morning came and Ashley woke up with a killer head ache. After a quick shower and a short visit from Rachael she walked into the lobby; tired, nauseated, and more than ready to get on the tour bus and spend the whole day sleeping. With that thought in mind, Ashley stepped into the small hotel restaurant and walked to Pop's table. Glen, Clay, Aiden, Mike, Spencer, and Pops sat at the large round table laughing as she silently took a seat. Her eyes wondered across the table to Spencer's joyous form but then quickly looked away when she saw Aiden's large hand covering hers on top of the table. "When are we leaving?" She asked dryly looking at her manager, she did not miss Spencer's sly attempt to remove her hand out from under her boyfriend's without her noticing. 

"Tomorrow morning." Was his curt reply.

Ashley frowned. "I thought we were heading to flagstaff this morning."

Pops looked at her, annoyed. "I scheduled a radio show to do in a couple of hours."

Standing from her seat, she spat "I'll pass." And angrily stalked out of the room.

The two hours of sleep – plus hang over -- made her feel more than exhausted and answering stupid questions all morning was the last thing she wanted to do. Reaching the elevator, she heard Mike's voice from behind. 

"Hey Ash." He called out.

Turning around, Ashley faced the blonde drummer. Brown eyes stared blankly at the small flyer he was holding up. It advertised a large pool party but Ashley was not in the mood for it. "I'm really tired." She explained. "I just want to spend the day sleeping." The 17 year old added while turning around.

"Maybe this will change your mind." 

Curious, Ashley turned back around. Her brown eyes landed on the small plastic bag in his hand. It held three small white pills that Ashley recognized as Ecstasy. She wasn't new to the drug but wasn't addicted to it either. Looking back into Mike's expected eyes, she opened her mouth, ready to refuse, but then closed it when she heard someone say "You two make the cutest couple." Looking over the drummer's broad shoulder, her gaze landed on Spencer and Aiden. They stood smiling for an elderly lady who was taking their picture, holding hands and looking very much like the happy couple they were. Ashley continued staring at them, mentally telling herself she could live with seeing them together….in love. Just as she was about to look away Spencer looked up. Their gaze met for the first time in two days and Ashley felt her stomach tie in knots as she fought back the urge to just walk up and kiss the blonde senseless. The urge died when she saw Aiden dip his head and place a tender kiss on her cheek. Brown eyes watched confused grey eyes turn to look at Aiden and then turn to look back at her a second later. The confusion was gone from them, replaced with regret, and Ashley couldn't stare into them a second longer. "Let's go party." She said meeting Mike's gaze. 

High, drunk, and horny Ashley made it back to the hotel around 8 pm with a girl she met at the party. The girl was named Amy and was a hair stylist with long blonde/black hair and a great body. Ashley had spent most of her time with her at the party and was not surprised when she offered to give her a free hair cut. Ashley easily agreed to her offer and soon they were off to the hair salon sitting in the back of the large Mansion. Henry Banks, the person throwing the party, was known for his chain of hair salons in California, Nevada, and Arizona, so Ashley wasn't surprised to see the large hair salon, but was a little surprise when Amy told her she was Henry's daughter. Taking a seat in one of the chairs, she sat still watching her long auburn locks slowly fall to the floor. She vaguely remembered the last time she had cut her hair. It was during a birthday party and Ashley was stuck in the middle of a very disturbing game of truth or dare. The 15 year old made the mistake of answering dare to one of the drunken guitar player's and was forced to shave her head. It didn't bother her much but it pissed Pops off a little, making her a little glad she did it. 

Two hours later, Ashley was finally done and more than satisfied with the results. Her hair was straight with the back spiked up and the bangs long, stopping just under her chin, parted on the left side, the ends were dyed blonde and mixed in nicely with the auburn. Ashley 'thanked' Amy in the salon before they headed back to the party. The hours flew by quickly and after spending some more time with Amy, Ashley was more than ready to leave and take Amy with her back to the hotel. Amy had been sitting next to her in the hot tub, running her fingers up and down her thigh; she teased the rock star with her fingers while whispering obscenities in her ear. It wasn't long before Ashley grabbed her wrist and invited her back to her hotel room, as predicted, Amy said yes and the two quickly said goodbye to their friends and headed to the limo. 

Arriving at the hotel, all Ashley wanted to do was take Amy to her room and ravish her, but the hair stylist had other ideas. Instead, they walked straight to the large indoor pool room. Ashley looked around the room and was glad to find it empty. The only thing slightly bothering her was the small gym bag in the corner of the room. Turning her head, she watched Amy undress and prayed the owner of the bag wouldn't come back for it anytime soon. Naked as the day she was born, she jumped into the pool with an equally naked Amy, and spent the first few minutes just splashing around. Ashley smiled mischievously while going under water. Swimming toward the naked hair dresser, she resurfaced in front of her and captured her lips in a hungry passionate kiss. Being pushed against the pool's wall, Ashley broke the kiss and started trailing her mouth down Amy's neck, moaning as she felt the hair stylist wrap her legs around her waist. Eager mouths and hands roamed over one another's body and everything felt great, until Ashley heard the doors open. Her heart stopped when she saw Spencer walk in, followed by Aiden, but that didn't stop her from nibbling on Amy's ear, whispering how beautiful she was, brown eyes never left the shocked grey eyes at the door. It was like watching a horrible car crash in slow motion, something you don't want to see but can't look away from. Seeing the pain fill sad grey orbs, Ashley felt nails dig deep into her shoulders as Amy started moving faster against her, obviously on a brink of an orgasm, the rock star closed her eyes as the hair stylist exploded against her. The body in her arms went limp and Ashley placed a tiny kiss on her wet shoulder before opening her eyes again. Spencer stared at her a second longer before turning, leaving. In that spilt second Ashley saw the recognition fall over her face and apart of her was relieved to see that Spencer now fully realized where they stood. Spencer was with Aiden and she was with whoever wanted to be fucked by a rock star. Frowning, brown eyes looked over at Aiden. He stood holding the gym bag, grinning proudly at her. Ashley rolled her eyes and gently removed the body attached to hers and held her breath, sinking underwater.

The next day was spent like the last three. Ashley was hung-over, after eating a couple of pieces of toast, she slept in a bunk the whole way to their next show in Flagstaff. Wearing a white 'As I lay dying' band T, light blue jeans, white studded belt and checkered Van shoes, Ashley stepped on stage; high, charismatic, and cocky, she ignored the easily felt tension radiating from the other band members and played amazingly.

The show ended and all of the rock star's short auburn hair was soaked with sweat, along with the rest of her body, and the only thing on her mind was a bath -- and the someone she would share it with. The thought made her turn her head and brown eyes landed on Spencer. The bass player was just as sweaty and tired as she was, and she couldn't help but remember the shower they shared again. As much as tried to push the memory away it just wouldn't leave. The tender, playful, exotic fun of it all was just something she couldn't forget.

She wondered if it would happen again – looking away, she knew the answer to that but didn't like it.

Her mind continued to wonder as she stood leaned against one of the large speakers back stage. She thought back to their first day in LA. Being in her room, she had Spencer all to herself for a couple of hours and spent the time wisely. After saying 'we've just begun' she placed another soft kiss on Spencer's lips and chin while moving her hand up white glistening skin, tracing the outline of her hip, she heard Spencer half whimper half moan and couldn't help but wonder if she made the same sounds for Aiden. Pulling back a little, the thought made her more than ready to stop, but then the thought flew out of her mind when she felt Spencer cup the back of her head and pulled it down, kissing her passionately, stopping was the last thing on her mind. She kissed her back harder; putting in all of the frustration she was feeling into the kiss, she wondered why it bothered her so much that Spencer had a boyfriend. A lot of the groupies she slept with had boyfriends and it never bothered her before. Breaking the kiss, she trailed her lips down the blonde's jaw while sliding her hand over soft blonde curls. Hearing Spencer's trembling sighs, she realized how lucky Aiden was to have her as a girlfriend.

That scared her.

"Ms. Davies."

Ashley turned her head and took the hotel key Rachael was handing her. With a 'see ya later' she was out the building and into the limo before anyone had a chance to stop her. "Radisson Hotel, driver." She called out digging into the liquor cabinet. Pulling out a vodka bottle, she opened it and sat back against the expensive black leather seats.

They reached the hotel 10 minutes later, feeling a little tipsy, Ashley exited the large stretch escalade and tipped the driver 100 dollars. The rock star walked/staggered towards the front of the hotel and smiled at the sight. A large group of people stood outside the large building. Only a few were holding CD's, T shirts, and posters, and she knew the rest were just there to sleep with a rock star. Walking to the large group, Ashley spent the next 20 minutes signing autographs and taking pictures. Saying her goodbyes, she slipped her key card into one of the groupie's hands, and walked inside The Radisson.

After a trip to the front desk, Ashley got an extra key and headed toward her room. Quickly showering, she dressed and walked out of the bathroom. The blonde she had given her key to was sitting at the edge of the large bed, naked. Ashley didn't waste much time joining her.

An hour later, Ashley said goodbye to her new friend -- well it was more like 'get the hell out of my room' – and headed out of the hotel. During her playtime, she had gotten a phone call from Rachael. The rock star's assistant reminded her of Pops' plans to leave flagstaff early, which meant she had to hurry up and get on the tour bus. Ashley did what she was told, finishing up with the groupie; she had a couple of drinks before grabbing her things and walking out the door.

In the tour bus, Ashley put her things aside and staggered toward AJ. After giving him the okay to start driving, the unsteady rock star turned around and eyed the empty room. She assumed everyone else was sleeping so decided to have a few more drinks before officially calling it a night. After a show Pops usually gave everyone a couple of hours to do whatever they wanted, depending on the next days' agenda, before taking off to the next city. Ashley spent this time partying while the others spent it on the tour bus sleeping, exhausted from the day's events.

Walking to the fridge, Ashley was glad one of the many things on their supply list was liquor because she needed a drink. The rock star opened the fridge and grabbed a cold Budweiser, opening it; she walked to the booth and slowly drank her beer. Brown eyes looked out the window but couldn't see anything. Her dark sun glasses made it completely impossible to see anything other than darkness. Sighing, she grabbed her cell phone and started texting whoever she saw in her address book, because of the double vision the alcohol caused, most of it was gibberish.

The room was spinning and everything had a twin but that didn't stop Ashley from walking into her room after finishing her 5th beer. In the state she was in she had forgotten the silent agreement between her and Spencer. Spencer had the bedroom and she had a bunk. The rock star knew the bunks were too small, uncomfortable, and dangerous to sleep in, that's why she didn't want to put Spencer in one of them. In Ashley's eyes, the blonde's comfort and safety easily outranked her own safety, so she took the risks and back pains while Spencer slept safely in her room – her bed. But tonight, because of her heavily intoxicated mind, she forgot that agreement and took off her clothes. Getting under the covers, it took her a minute to realize she was lying next to Spencer.

The blinds were open and in the moonlight streaming through the small window Ashley could see Spencer's sleeping face. A small smile played at her lips when she thought back to the last time they were sleeping in this bed in this room. Her head was nestled comfortably on a soft breast, distantly listening to a strong heart beat over soft breathing that soon lured her into a peaceful slumber. The next morning Ashley woke up just before sunrise. Looking up, she smiled softly at Spencer's sleeping face, whisking away strays of blonde hair that had fallen over her eyes, she wished waking up would always be so blissful. The smile fell off her face when she realized waking up would always be nothing more than just painful from now on. Feeling both angry and sad, the rock star closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

It was raining hard and extremely cold. She was the driver and Spencer, Brenda, Kyla, Glen, and AJ sat in the back. The roads were slippery and she couldn't see anything through the windshield. "Ashley!" She heard someone scream in the background.

Focusing on the road, she shook her head when her vision started to blur. "You're bleeding!" AJ exclaimed gleefully pointing at her nose while sitting in the passenger seat.

Ashley immediately brought her hand up to her nose and felt the warm red liquid coat her fingertips. Startled, she looked at AJ, opening her mouth to speak; she closed her eyes and screamed when she felt the car drive off the road and down what felt like a cliff. Everything stopped and she didn't feel any pain. Opening her eyes, she realized she was out of the car and outside in the pouring rain. "Mom!" She called out looking frantically around in the wet darkness for anyone. "Kyla!" She sobbed and then froze when she saw a still figure lying face down in the mud a few feet away from her. "Spencer." She gasped, quickly closing the distance between them; she collapsed in front of the still figure and turned her over. "Spencer." She whispered gently patting her face, trying to wake her. "Oh god." Blood dripped down the side of the blonde's face and covered Ashley's hand. "I'm so sorry Spencer." Ashley cried. "It wasn't my fault. You have to believe me, it was the drugs! I would never hurt you, never, ever, it was the cocaine. All of it was the cocaine. Please believe me." She begged staring into the dull eyes staring back into hers.

The rock star watched pale lips lift in a faint smile before she heard the blonde whisper, "I believe you."

Ashley abruptly shot up, chest heaving; she turned her head to the left and met concerned grey eyes. "I'm so sorry." She sobbed falling into warm caring arms. Clinging desperately onto the warm body under her, tears fell frantically down her face as she mumbled incoherently against Spencer's chest. Through the fog of her distress, she faintly heard the words being whispered into her ear as she trembled uncontrollably against the blonde. Head nestled against a soft breast, Ashley's tears gradually started to fade until they stopped all together.

Lying on top of Spencer's surprisingly naked body, Ashley's content soon turned to desire. She could feel a fire erupt all over her body and had no control over her body's attempt to extinguish it. Her soft lips and tongue started teasing the smooth skin on Spencer's neck and shoulders, and she smiled when a gasp escaped the blonde's lips.

Thinking about those lips, Ashley lifted her upper body while her lower body straddled Spencer's hips. Soon she felt warm hands gently roam over her shoulders and they were both silent as they stared into each other's eyes. Praying Spencer wouldn't come to her senses and push her away, brown eyes broke away from grey and moved down the body under hers, sending a rush of wetness to her center. Her breath was ragged as the hands on her shoulders moved down her sides and settled on her hips.

Her heart was pounding loud in her ears as she slowly lowered her head, shyly brushing her lips over Spencer's. The feel of Spencer's soft lips against hers was by far the best feeling in the world at the moment for Ashley. A soft moan sounded from deep in her throat when she felt her breast being teased by the palm of Spencer's hand. They continued to softly kiss while Spencer pinched an aching nipple begging for attention, causing Ashley to moan louder.

Surprisingly, Ashley was fine with the pace they were going. Lately, with the other girls all Ashley wanted to do was get it over with. Now, she wished every second could last forever. "Ashley." She heard whispered as her mouth moved down the blonde's body. Sucking a rock hard nipple into the warmth of her mouth, Ashley closed her eyes and relished the noises coming from the blonde as she kneaded both breasts. Shifting a bit, she moved a hand down Spencer's body. Passing golden curls, she groaned when she felt the blonde's passion coat her fingers. "So wet, baby." She gasped slowly moving her fingers up and down slick folds. "Ashley." She heard again but ignored it while running her finger over Spencer's clit, causing the blonde's hips to jerk up. "We have to stop."

Again, Ashley ignored the blonde's words and started teasing her faster; stopping when she felt two persistent hands on her shoulders, trying to stop her. "Why don't you want me?" Ashley growled looking into the blonde's face. Each hand was now on either side of Spencer's head as she stared furiously down at her. Brown eyes never left grey as she whispered again, "Why don't you want me?" Not getting an answer, the rock star shifted, intent on leaving, but then stopped when she felt the hands on her shoulders gently pull her down.

"I do want you, Ashley….but we can't…not how things are." The words were stuttered, barely whispered, and small but Ashley heard them clearly. Nodding her head 'yes', she once again tried to leave but was still being held down by strong caring arms. Feeling frustrated and humiliated, all she wanted to do was leave, find cocaine, and feel numb again -- all of that went away when she heard the blonde whisper, "Please stay." Looking into pleading grey eyes, Ashley hesitated a moment before gently laying herself back onto Spencer's warm body. Head on breast, she covered both of them with the blanket and fell asleep to the feeling of gentle hands stroking her hair.

The next morning Ashley woke up feeling confused and slightly sick. Everything that happened earlier ran through her mind and she was mortified. Once again she had failed to keep herself from the blonde. Like a moth to a flame, she always ran towards the fire and always got burned. At that thought, the rock star gently extracted herself from the blonde, careful not to wake her, and rolled out of bed. She didn't want to deal with the awkwardness that would follow Spencer waking up and finding her in her arms. Fully dressed, she looked to the bed and smiled softly at the sleeping blonde. Her hair was disheveled and her lips were parted, letting out soft snores, making Ashley wish she could get back in bed and lie with her a little longer. Ashley immediately shook off the thoughts and left the room.

The rest of the week was spent avoiding Spencer like the plague, and paying extra attention to her 'fans'.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spencer opened the small wooden door and stepped inside the cozy apartment. 'I've got the gift of one liners and you've got the curse of curves….' She heard blaring from the kitchen. Walking toward the music, Spencer stopped at the kitchen doorway and watched, smiling, as Ashley pulled open the oven door and peeked inside. Spencer turned around and walked away, hearing the oven door shut, she put down the bags in her hands and sighed.

She had barely stopped herself from walking into that kitchen and kissing the rock star senseless. The thought disturbed her but didn't surprise her. This was the first time in what seemed like forever that they were alone together, or even together. Glen was out with his girlfriend, Clay was out getting food/drinks, and Aiden was back at the hotel. Knowing she was all alone with Ashley made her feel things that both scared and excited her. And it was strange because she was more excited than scared. Shaking her head, she started emptying the bags; chiding herself for feeling anything other than hate for the rock star.

That second night sharing a room with Ashley was almost unbearable. Cell phone turned off, she spent most of the night watching TV on the bed next to Ashley's. Grey eyes watched the rock star throughout most of the movie that was playing. She acted like she never spent a night of her life just sitting around watching TV. Sitting at the edge of the bed, brown eyes were glued almost obsessively to the TV, making Spencer somewhat relieved. The first couple of hours spent without the TV was tortuous. Both teens sat at the small round table eating their Chinese food surrounded by a very awkward silence that continued after dinner. At least I don't have to worry about it being quiet anymore, Spencer thought while moving her eyes back to the TV. Lying on top of the sheets covering the bed, Spencer felt her eyes slowly close, open, and then close again before she fell asleep.

Grey eyes slowly opened. It was dark, really dark, but there was enough light coming from the window to allow Spencer to see the rock star's anxious form pacing back and forth in front of their beds. She looked down and saw her body covered with a large silk comforter, the exact same one she was lying on top of. Looking up, she noticed Ashley's bed was stripped from all sheets and pillows. Confused, Spencer looked back at Ashley and couldn't help the concern that welled up inside of her. It was painfully obvious the rock star was dealing with some sort of internal struggle. And she had a good idea what the struggle was. Cocaine. It was the unfocused gleam in her eyes, the way she was frantically scratching her arm while pacing, and how her nose unconsciously sniffed that gave her away. She wanted so badly to just get up and take Ashley into her arms, caress her until she forgot -- if only momentarily—the drugs, and make everything between them okay, maybe even perfect, but she knew all of that was impossible. Ashley had made it perfectly clear the night before that she didn't want any help from anybody. If anything the rock star just wanted to be left alone with her drugs and groupies. The thought made Spencer feel more than a little upset but she couldn't do a thing about it. Sighing, she closed her eyes and fell asleep to the soft noises Ashley was making.

The next morning Spencer woke up, showered, and dressed before meeting the rest of the band outside. Ashley was nowhere to be seen, making Spencer feel a little worried. Waking up alone in their room, she assumed the rock star was already by the tour bus but was sadly mistaking. Putting all of worries in the back of her mind, she happily greeted Glen, Clay, and AJ, before stepping inside the bus and taking a seat at the booth. It wasn't long before AJ joined her. The two talked until they heard the angry voices outside. Turning her head, Spencer watched Ashley and Pops argue furiously in front of the 'Holiday Inn' building. She couldn't hear anything they were saying but could tell Ashley was really pissed off. Her demeanor said it all. Her fists were clenched, eyes hard, and body stiff – but that all changed a second later. Tilting her head to the side, Spencer watched Ashley's shoulder's slump, face bow, and head slowly shake no, obviously giving into defeat. "I wonder what that was all about." She heard AJ comment but didn't respond. All of her attention was focused on the sullen teen walking toward them. Grey eyes followed Ashley up to the front door where their eyes met and Spencer saw all of the distress that coated tired brown eyes, until Ashley walked passed her and entered a bunk. Every nerve in the blonde's body yearned to get up and comfort the rock star, but she couldn't. Fear was holding her back.

After the show that night, Rachael came up to her and handed her a hotel key. Spencer said her thanks and watched the brunette do the same to Ashley, except she noticed Ashley's key had a different room number printed on the front. "Are you alright?" She heard being asked near her ear. Watching Ashley's back as she headed toward the exit, Spencer wondered that herself. Was she alright knowing Ashley would spend the night doing drugs and having sex with a groupie? "I'm just tired." She lied looking at her boyfriend.

Aiden flashed a knowing smile before pulling her into a tender hug. Burying her head against his broad shoulder she sighed. She hadn't planned for things to turn out this way. What was going on between her and Ashley wasn't fair to Aiden. Spencer was pretty sure he was 'the one' back in Ohio but now….now she wasn't so sure about anything. "Let's get you in bed." Was purred in her ear before they headed toward the limo.

After a short ride on the elevator, Spencer and Aiden walked toward her room in silence. Grey eyes practically flared when they a saw a woman sitting in front of the door across from her room. Spencer knew it was Ashley's room, but didn't say anything to the groupie. Instead, she followed Aiden inside her room and headed straight to the bathroom, intent on taking a relaxing shower and forgetting about Ashley, which wasn't hard since her mind was on Aiden. It was hard telling her boyfriend he couldn't join, but necessary. She still had a couple of marks on her body that didn't come from him. Sighing, Spencer walked under the hot water and grabbed the mesh sponge sitting on top of the shampoo rack.

Memories of her and Ashley back at the beach house came to mind as she began washing her body. After being lightly kissed, grey eyes watched the shower door open. She was very excited knowing she was about to share a shower with Ashley, especially after everything they had shared on the beach. Stepping inside, Spencer watched Ashley turn on the water and then realized what she was about to do. What she was about to do behind Aiden's back. Grey eyes moved off Ashley's naked form and landed on the shampoo rack. What she was doing to Aiden was so wrong, but not being with Ashley seemed unbearable. Closing her eyes, she felt the rock star's caring arms pull her into a tender hug, smiling when she felt a gentle kiss placed on her shoulder, she nodded 'yes' when Ashley asked if she was okay. Pulling away, grey eyes sparkled at seeing the happiness etched into the brown ones in front of her. 'Are we close to the moaning part yet?' She teased stepping forward, wrapping her arms around Ashley's wet neck, she closed the distance between them and laughed at the faint whimper that escaped the rock star's lips. Her laugh soon turned into a gasp when Ashley pulled them under the shower head. Feeling aroused, Spencer closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the rock star's hands roaming up and down her back, and really enjoyed the lips kissing her neck and shoulders. Until she felt them descend down toward her breast. "Ashley." She gasped feeling warm breaths over an aching nipple. "We have to stop." As much as she wanted the rock star to continue, she just couldn't do it knowing Glen and Clay were back at the house waiting for them. Spencer smiled at Ashley's groan and placed a light kiss on her lips before moving away to grab the mesh sponge. "Turn around and I'll wash your back." Spencer offered as she grabbed the bar of soap. Starting at her shoulders, Spencer glided the soapy sponge down her back and smiled when Ashley let out a small moan of pleasure. "I take it you love back scrubs."

"I love everything you do to me." Ashley honestly retorted.

The words made Spencer drop the sponge. Hearing the honesty in them shocked her and she wondered if she was still another fuck to the rock star, to Ashley. "Everything, huh?" Spencer seductively whispered as she moved her hands past Ashley's waist and up a firm wet abdomen.

"Everything." Ashley moaned as Spencer began washing her breasts, gently teasing her nipples until they hardened fully against her touch. "I think I'm clean now." The rock star stated in a very strained voice.

"Huh, oh!" Spencer abruptly pulled her hands away and apologized profusely for getting carried away.

"It's okay." Ashley mumbled while turning back around. Spencer met her gaze and saw the wicked gleam in her eyes. "Now, is it my turn to wash your back?" She asked with a seductive smile.

"Spencer!" A knock at the door startled the blonde into dropping the sponge.

"Uh, yeah?" She called back while turning off the shower.

"Are you almost finished in there? I have to use the bathroom." Aiden called back impatiently.

Spencer could tell by his tone that he was more than a little upset at being denied sharing the shower with her. "I'll be out in a minute."

When Spencer walked out of the bathroom wearing a long sleeve shirt and pajama pants the look on Aiden's face told her more than she wanted to see. "All yours." She said to her sullen boyfriend as she walked to her suitcase on the floor.

"Thanks." She heard him mumble.

Hearing the bathroom door shut, Spencer took a seat on the edge of the bed and sighed. This wasn't the first time she had seen him act like this. Last time, they were in her room making out when she heard her parents come home. "Aiden stop, my parents are home." She said when she felt him unzip his pants.

"It'll just take me a sec." He mumbled while moving his hand down to unzip her jeans.

Mortified, she tried sitting up but was held down by him. "What is your problem?" He hissed looking into her eyes. "I can't stay long and I want you." He added looking back down at her zipper.

Spencer stared blankly at the stranger hovering over her. It was true that he couldn't stay long, his band was settled somewhere in a motel waiting for him to finish his visit so they could get back on tour, but that didn't give him the right to act like a total jerk. "But I don't want to while my parents are downstairs." She hissed back.

"Fine." He huffed getting off the bed. Ignoring all of Spencer's pleading questions, he left slamming the door. They talked on the phone a few days later and worked everything but his attitude still really bugged her, and she didn't want to deal with it now.

"Are you okay?" She asked when he stepped out of the bathroom.

Looking over at her, he sighed shaking his head no. "I'm tired of waiting to be with you." He answered honestly while taking a seat next to her on the bed.

Staring at the floor she responded, "I'm sorry but I've just been too tired for that." She lied knowing the real reason she couldn't have sex with Aiden was because of the marks she had on her body from Ashley.

"Well take a fucking red bull or something Spence because you're my girlfriend and you're doing a bad job keeping me satisfied!" He shouted standing from the bed, extremely aggravated. "All I've been getting from you is excuses, excuses, excuses, and frankly I'm starting not buy them."He added lowering his tone.

Spencer stared at him a long moment before whispering, "Come here." When he did so she scooted back on the bed and lied back, pulling him on top of her. They started kissing slowly, only momentarily stopping to turn off the lights; they continued and didn't stop until Aiden was ready to. Spencer felt horrible after it was all said and done. It was all physical, no love no tenderness just sex, and it made her feel cheap, used. Watching Aiden roll of her and dress, apart of her was relieved that he was leaving. A huge part of her. "I have to go." He said flatly not looking at her before quickly leaving, not even staying long enough to finish buckling his belt or say goodbye.

Turning over on her side, Spencer fell asleep crying.

A knock at the door woke Spencer from her sleep. "Coming." She called out groggily before getting up to answer the door. A smile graced her lips when she saw her boyfriend. He stood smiling holding a box of chocolates and roses in his hands. "I'm sorry I acted like a jerk last night." He apologized handing Spencer the flowers and chocolates. "Forgive me?" Spencer didn't hesitate answering yes.

Walking into the lobby hand in hand with her boyfriend, Spencer smiled when the smell of breakfast assaulted her senses. "I can't wait to eat." She said looking up at Aiden. "I'm starving."

"Me too." He replied smiling back.

The two quickly made their way to Pops' table and took a seat next to each other. After ordering breakfast, the conversations around the table was making everyone laugh and smile. It was turning out to be a very good morning, Spencer thought while taking a bite out of her pancakes. The thought left her mind when she heard the rock star's voice sounding from across the table. She hadn't even seen Ashley walk in, much less take a seat across from her, and was embarrassed when she saw Aiden's hand on top of hers. Pulling it out of his grasp, she slyly moved it under the table and kept it there.

"I thought we were heading to flagstaff this morning." Her angry voice got all of Spencer's attention and she looked up. The first thing she noticed was how tired the rock star looked. The second thing was the large hickey she had on the side of her neck. Spencer wondered how much, if any, sleep she had gotten last night and hoped it was more than a couple of hours. Seeing Ashley angrily stand and refuse to participate in the radio show, made Spencer lose all of her appetite. How could she eat when the person she loved was so upset? There was apart of her that mentally screamed 'how could you still feel like that after everything you've seen her do?' And then there was another part that screamed back 'Can you blame her?'

"I have another surprise for you." She heard Aiden say in her ear.

Tearing her gaze off Ashley's retreating form, she looked over at Aiden. "What is it?" She asked curiously.

"I'll show you when you finish eating." He said with a blinding smile.

"I'm finished." She replied pushing her plate away from her.

After saying goodbye to everyone the happy couple made their way out of the restaurant and into the lobby. They didn't make it that far before an elderly lady stopped them and asked to take some pictures. Spencer easily agreed and posed happily with Aiden. "You two make the cutest couple" The elderly lady commented while snapping a couple more. Spencer just continued smiling and turned her head. The world faded out as grey eyes met brown. There was so much longing and love in Ashley's eyes that it made her mouth go completely dry. She had to go to her, be with her, but as soon as her legs got the message to move, she felt Aiden's lips on her cheek, and it confused her. She looked over at him and momentarily wished he'd go away, forever. That thought died when she turned her head and saw Ashley except some pills from Mike. Spencer smiled sadly and faced Aiden again. "So what's this surprise of yours?" She asked with little enthusiasm remembering drugs always came first for an addict.

The surprise was surprising. Aiden had rented the indoor pool room for a couple of hours and they went swimming. Splashing, racing, dunking, and kissing, Spencer had a really good time and was disappointed when Pops called and reminded them of the radio show. After a quick shower, Spencer and Aiden quickly dressed and were on their way outside, not realizing they were forgotting Aiden's gym bag, they entered the limo and waited patiently for the rest of the band members, plus Pops, to join them.

The sky was covered with dark grey clouds, and it was cold, but that didn't stop the band from doing the radio show. Spencer was happy by the time they finished and left the large building with a satisfied smile. Most of the questions revolved around her and Aiden, not too surprising, but she was a little uncomfortable when they started asking about Ashley and the strip club thing. Glen and Clay didn't know what to say about it so she quipped in. Saying that was Ashley's business, and to Spencer's relief, the conversation quickly turned a different direction.

The rest of the day after that was spent with Aiden. They saw a movie at the mall, went shopping, ate at the food court, and then left to do some sight seeing. After a few hours of sightseeing, Spencer was more than ready to call it day. She entered the limo and told the driver to take them back to the hotel while resting her head against Aiden's shoulder. It wasn't long before she closed her eyes and took a little nap.

They reached the hotel and got out of the car. Spencer tipped the driver and her and Aiden walked hand in hand inside the large building. Just as they were about to enter the elevator Aiden remembered his gym bag and sheepishly asked Spencer to go with him to get it. Spencer easily agreed after teasing her boyfriend, calling him irresponsible, and the two made their way towards the indoor pool room laughing. The laughter died when she stepped inside the pool room. She didn't want to watch, she didn't want to be there, but she was completely frozen. Her eyes glued to the brown eyes in the pool as her heart completely shattered. She hated seeing another person touch Ashley, kiss her, the thought alone was enough to hurt her but actually seeing it was beyond painful. Their gaze stayed lock as Ashley started whispering in the nameless girl's ear, Spencer didn't know what she was saying but she did know the words were for her. But at that moment she didn't care, and when the girl froze and Ashley closed her eyes, that was the last straw. She wasn't going to be that nameless girl again. The tears welled up in her eyes but she kept them at bay long enough to stare into Ashley's eyes one last time, grey eyes expressed every emotion she was currently feeling for a couple of seconds, and then she left.

Spencer didn't see or hear from the rock star at all the next day. She knew Ashley was in the bus sleeping, and knew she would stay that way until their next show, and was perfectly fine with that. She didn't hate Ashley but she didn't like her too much either, she was just going to tolerate her. For the band's sake. For her heart's sake. "Want to play with Me and Clay." Glen asked while holding up a deck of cards. Spencer easily agreed and she spent the rest of the day hanging around Glen and Clay, and only saw Ashley come out once to use the bathroom.

Walking on stage, Spencer played great but was blown away by how well Ashley played, as always. She knew the rock star got high before every show and wondered how she could stand, much less play guitar amazingly for hundreds of people, after doing cocaine. Shaking the confusing thought out of her head, She walked off stage sweaty and tired but happy, with a smile that reflected that. A bath and a bed was all she could think of while waiting for Rachael to give her a hotel key. She was aware of Pops' rule to give each band member a couple of hours of free time to do whatever before taking off to the next city and didn't understand how anyone could want something other than sleep after a show. The thought made her turn her head and she watched Ashley take off. I guess drugs help, she thought seeing Ashley walk out the exit door.

They left soon after Ashley's departure in a different limo and made it to the hotel about 10 minutes later. Spencer went straight to her room and took a much needed shower, dressing in her PJs after; she went back down to the hotel lobby, out the doors, and back onto the tour bus quickly. It was dark and only loud snores could be heard, indicating that Glen and Clay were already on board and sleeping, making Spencer thankful she had her room and didn't have to sleep in the same room with the boys like Ashley did. The thought confused her as she undressed and got into bed. She knew the room was Ashley's long before she joined the band and wondered why Ashley gave it to her instead of making her sleep in a bunk like Glen and Clay had to. It wasn't long before her thoughts started to slowly fade before they disappeared all together as she fell asleep.

"No…..no….no…no"

The words woke her from a peaceful sleep and when grey eyes opened they widened at seeing Ashley thrash around in bed. Her eyes were still closed and it was obvious she was having a nightmare, the terror in her voice made it perfectly clear it was a bad one too.

Spencer felt helpless watching Ashley suffer through her dream and couldn't stop the tears that threatened to fall at hearing her whimper and cry in her sleep. When she finally couldn't take hearing anymore of her pleas, she leaned closer to her and whispered, "Ashley." While carefully reaching out to take her trembling hand. "It's just a dream, love." She added not realizing the name she used.

Relief and fear ran through Spencer when she saw Ashley sit up and look around in panic. "I'm so sorry." She heard Ashley say before the rock star fell into her arms, sobbing as she clung desperately to her. Spencer lied back with Ashley on top of her and soothingly whispered, "Its okay." to her while gently rubbing her back. She continued whispering to Ashley until she felt the rock star stop trembling and calm down but made no move to push her away when she stopped sobbing. She was perfectly okay with the idea of holding the rock star close until morning. That was until she felt soft lips on her sensitive neck and shoulder, gasping when she felt the cold metal of Ashley's tongue ring on her skin. She could feel her southern region respond to the rock star's teasing mouth and the fact that the rock star was completely naked on top of her, straddling her hips, Spencer unconsciously ran her hands over tan shoulders, missing the feel of them, of Ashley, she closed her eyes when she saw Ashley lift her body and slowly move her head down. They kissed softly and slowly, and at that moment Spencer realized how much she had missed the rock star's kiss. Her lips were much softer than Aiden's and she never plunged her tongue down her throat, nearly making her gag, like Aiden usually did when he got too excited. Yes, her kiss was perfect, Spencer thought while moving her hand down to Ashley's breast where she teased an aching bud with the palm of her hand, loving the deep moan that erupted deep in Ashley's throat.

Ashley broke the kiss and Spencer felt the rock star's mouth move down toward her chest. "Ashley." She whispered coming to her senses. Not only was this against the 'house' rules but she was breaking her vow to never be that nameless girl again. She opened her mouth, ready to tell Ashley to stop, but then the words turned into a moan when she felt Ashley's mouth latch firmly onto her breast. Lord give me strength, she prayed feeling Ashley's hand moved down her body. "So wet, baby." She heard Ashley gasp while feeling her fingers in her wetness. "Ashley." She tried again but realized the rock star was ignoring her. "We have to stop." She gasped as her hips jerked up.

Her hands found Ashley's shoulders again. Instead of encouraging her to continue she pushed when she felt Ashley tease her faster instead of stop. "Why don't you want me?" They were face to face now and Spencer felt a pang of fear run through her staring into angry brown eyes. The fear left as soon as Ashley whispered "Why don't you want me?" again, but it came out so dejectedly that Spencer didn't feel anything but sorry for the rock star. Staring deeply into Ashley's face she saw how tired the rock star was. Tired of living, Spencer thought sadly while gently holding her down, keeping her from leaving, running away from another problem. "I do want you, Ashley….but we can't…not how things are." She explained nervously.

Watching Ashley nod, Spencer continued to hold her down when she tried to leave again. "Please stay." She whispered knowing where Ashley would go after she left. The thought of her leaving to do cocaine wasn't the only thing that made Spencer beg her to stay. She really wanted to be with Ashley tonight. Hold her and know she was alright, happy, if only for a few hours. She started stroking her newly cut hair after Ashley covered them with a blanket. Spencer fell asleep with a smile knowing Ashley was with her, and not some stranger.

The next morning Spencer woke up alone. And the rest of the day continued like that. Glen told Spencer that Ashley was hanging out with Mike on their band's tour bus. Spencer frowned. She wanted to clear allot of things up with the rock star today, thinking she was done with groupies, but that obviously wasn't the case. She found that out later on when Ashley came back later that night, high out of her mind, and with a 'friend' who was equally drunk and high as she was. Glen kindly told the groupie to leave while Clay led Ashley to her bunk. Spencer just went to her room and softly cried for a good while, hating herself for thinking Ashley would change for her.

The rest of the week was spent avoiding Ashley like the plague, and being a better girlfriend to Aiden.

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"Hey."

Startled, Spencer dropped one of the bags and turned around. She stood before her, Ashley, standing in the kitchen door way; her hands were covered in flour and her brown eyes conveyed how nervous she really felt, and Spencer wondered if Ashley's heart was hammering as painfully hard against her chest like hers was.

She didn't know what she was feeling, but she did know it wasn't anything close to hate. And that scared her.

"Sor..sorry." Ashley stuttered quickly removing her apron, she got down on her knees and with shaky hands put the things back into the bag. Most of it was party decorations.

Today was Glen's birthday party and Spencer was in charge of party decorations, Ashley was in charge of the cake, and Clay was in charge of the food/drinks. They were throwing him a small surprise party, at his request, in his girlfriend's apartment, while he was out with her, and Ashley was glad it was almost over. A couple of days before the party Glen had practically begged her to stay clean until his birthday was over, which she easily agreed to, and it was driving her insane. Being sober around Spencer was the hardest thing, she realized while silently handing her the bag. "I didn't think anyone else was here. You kind of surprised me." She added shyly, taking in the dress Spencer was wearing. It was a beautiful white sundress with spaghetti straps that exposed all of the skin on her shoulders and stopped a couple of inches above her knees. "You look great." Perfect.

"Thanks." She responded looking down at herself with a crimson blush. "I bought it the other day and have been dying to wear it since." She rambled feeling stupid. When her eyes met Ashley's again she felt more nervous than before. What's wrong with me? She wondered with a bit of frustration. "You look great to." She added with a small smile.

Ashley chuckled and looked down at herself. She wore her usual attire; Band tee and jeans, but there were small spots of white flour that stained her black 'Guns N' rose' shirt. "Hmm, yeah I guess I do make flour look good." She said meeting grey eyes again. "Um, I'm going to go wash up a bit." She explained holding up her white hands. "If you want I can help blow up some balloons or something when I finish." She offered sounding very insecure.

"Yeah, I could use some help getting this place decorated." She said looking around Glen's girlfriend's apartment. "That is if you're not too busy with the cake." She quickly added looking back at Ashley.

Ashley waved her hand in a dismissive way. "The cake will be fine awhile longer." She said finding Spencer's concerned face adorable. "Be right back." She mumbled before walking into the bathroom. Closing the door, she leaned heavily against it and sighed. What the hell am I doing? "Nothing." She answered herself out loud, wishing she could get high. It did help her deal with her feelings, well it numbed them and that's what she needed right now. Her feelings numbed, temporarily gone before she did something stupid.

Spencer looked around for a stapler and smiled when she found one. Grabbing it, she started stapling some of the wall decorations around the room, trying not to think about Ashley but failing miserably. She wondered which Ashley she liked dealing with most; the high one or the sober one. "Does it really matter?" She pondered out loud. "You have a boyfriend get over it." Get over her, she chastised herself while putting the stapler down.

"Looks better already." Ashley commented looking around the room.

Spencer looked at her a moment and smiled at the small wet spots she saw on her shirt where the flour stains used to be. "You clean up well." She teased walking over to her. "Why not just put on another shirt?" She asked playfully.

"I don't have another shirt." She replied with a nervous smile. "I assumed my apron would catch all of the flour, I guess I wrong."

Spencer scrunched up her nose. "Yeah you were." She said taking Ashley's arm. "But that's okay since you don't have to be clean to blow up balloons."

Ashley smiled while Spencer led her to the couch. "Here." The blonde said handing her a small packet of balloons, their fingers touched and neither teen made any move to break the lingering contact. "Thanks." Ashley murmured after Spencer pulled her hand back.

Spencer just nodded and braced herself for what she needed to ask next. "Um, I was wondering if you can get Aiden from the hotel in a little while. Clay took the limo and left me with the rental car keys and I don't drive." She explained quietly.

Ashley numbly nodded 'yes' to the blonde's question while looking down at the bag of balloons in her hands. Aiden was the last person she wanted to see today, but how could she tell Spencer that? Tell Spencer that seeing them together was always like a stab through her heart. Just painful. "I can do that." She mumbled while starting on her first balloon.

"Thanks." Spencer said not missing the way Ashley avoided eye contact. "You mean a lot to him." To me.

"I know." Ashley said. "Like a sister." Her voice cracked a bit feeling more than a little guilty as she tied her second balloon. "And he loves you a lot." She said looking at her. "You guys are perfect together."

Spencer couldn't stop herself from snorting. "Yeah, perfect" sarcastically.

Ashley saw the guilt etch over Spencer's face and couldn't stop herself from blurting out, "Just say it Spencer. I ruined your life." There was no anger in her tone, only misery. "All of this was my fault."

Grey eyes slightly widened in bewilderment as she took the seat next to Ashley. "It wasn't your-"

"Please don't say it wasn't my fault Spencer." She pleaded looking into moist grey eyes. "In the hotel room that first night, I seduced you, even after you told me about your boyfriend and then I…I..-" Fell in love with you. Ashley sighed. "I started all of this and continued it even after seeing all of your pain-"

"Please." Spencer took her hand. "Don't blame yourself Ashley. The pain went both ways." She whispered wiping away an errant tear running down Ashley's face. "I knew how bad you were hurting Ashley, and I just couldn't..choose-"

"Between me and Aiden?" Ashley finished wretchedly. "I should have never put you in that position in the first place." Her voice was hollow, small, and full of regret, but she couldn't put any of the blame on Spencer. She didn't do anything wrong. "It was all me."

"No it wasn't Ashley." She murmured. "In the hotel room, I could have said no, I could have told you who I really was, but I didn't because I wanted you just as bad." She wiped away the tears running down her face. "I could have stopped you."

Ashley smiled sadly. "I wouldn't have stopped, Spencer." She looked away from her. "I would have ignored you and forced-"

"You don't know that." Spencer interrupted barely able to stand the amount of anguish in Ashley's voice. "I don't think you would have."

Ashley laughed humorlessly. "Then you don't know me well at all." She said meeting her gaze. "It wouldn't have been the first time I force someone." Ashley leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes. "I'm a fucking monster."

"No you're not Ashley." Spencer reasoned while caressing the back of her hand. She just didn't understand it. Ashley hated everything she did when she was high but still continued doing cocaine. "I know that's not you, it's the drugs." After a slight hesitation, Spencer just asked point blank, "Why don't you just stop doing cocaine?" It came out softly but there was still a certain edge to her voice.

Ashley opened her eyes and looked at her again. "I can't deal with fame without coke, Spencer." She answered honestly. "It'd be like taking a fish out of water and expecting it to live on land." She swallowed hard despite her tight throat and couldn't speak for a moment. "I couldn't survive without it."

Spencer looked down and stared at Ashley's hand. She turned it over and traced the faint, barely noticeable, scar that started at her wrist and continued up her arm. Watery grey eyes looked up and met content brown ones. "Are you happy, Ashley?" She asked in a small voice.

Ashley smiled a little. "Only when you're around, Spencer." She whispered shyly.

Spencer chuckled while crying softly at the same time, hugging Ashley; she didn't know if her tears were tears of joy or sorrow but didn't care. The only thing that mattered at the moment was Ashley.

Feeling Spencer in her arms, as they lied reclined on the back of the couch, was by far the best feeling in the world. "Please don't cry, Spencer." Ashley whispered. "I'm not worth your tears." She added placing a small kiss on the blonde hair under her chin.

Spencer pulled back a little and lifted her face up, with flushed wet cheeks she whispered. "You're worth more than that." And leaned forward, placing a tender kiss at the corner of Ashley's lips, she couldn't fight back her need to taste Ashley's lips anymore. Pressing closer, Spencer cupped the side of her face and kissed her gently, almost chastely. The kiss deepened after Ashley let out a pleading sigh, and Spencer could faintly taste the chocolate Ashley had consumed while preparing the cake, encouraging her to kiss the rock star deeper. Spencer's body immediately burned with desire that almost made her stop. This is so wrong, she thought while teasingly moving her tongue around Ashley's inside the rock star's mouth. And then she felt tender hands stroke her hair, neck, and bare shoulders, and it didn't seem so wrong anymore.

Ashley stroked Spencer's bare shoulders, too scared to move her hands where she really wanted them. On Spencer's breasts. "Spencer I don't think..I don't know if-" The rock star groaned in frustration. She hated feeling like a virgin experiencing her first time; not knowing where to put her hands and constantly wondering what Spencer was thinking every 5 seconds. "I'm scared to touch you." She blew out honestly.

Spencer kissed her one more time, finding her lips irritable, before pulling her head back and staring lovingly into soft brown eyes. "Don't be." She breathed taking one of Ashley's hands and guiding it down to her breast. Hooded brown eyes watched Spencer's eyes close and head fall back as she arched against her, softly moaning her pleasure. Ashley's free hand moved to the back of Spencer's dress and slowly lowered the zipper. Spencer's eyes slowly opened and stared into hers for what seemed like forever, their breaths mingled together between them as they came out quickly from both mouths, "Do it." Spencer breathed softly.

Ashley gently complied and with a little help from Spencer the dress was completely gone, only leaving Spencer in her panties. Ashley gazed lustily down at her creamy white flesh before dipping her head. Gentle lips placed kisses on her shoulders, collarbones, and breasts before taking a nipple into her mouth, teasing it until it was full hard against her tongue; Ashley released it and gave the other nipple the same attention. "Ashley." Spencer gasped while gently pulling Ashley's head up. Their lips immediately locked and the two started kissing feverishly, only stopping to breathe; Ashley used this time to place featherlike kisses all over Spencer's face, neck, and shoulders.

"Off," Spencer gasped while tugging at the hem of Ashley's shirt. "Please."

Ashley sat up a little and with little patience whipped off her shirt and bra, moaning when breasts pressed against breasts and legs intertwined, it ignited a new fire in her and Ashley hoped nobody would interrupt them, knowing she would simply die if somebody did. "Mmm" She moaned when Spencer nipped lightly at the hollow of her throat. Ashley savored each and every move the blonde made on her body, especially the special treatment she was receiving on each breast.

Spencer's mouth grew bolder as Ashley's soft sounds filled the room. She enjoyed everything she was doing to the rock immensely and was getting more than a little turned on by Ashley's moans and sighs. Spencer moved her lips from Ashley's breast to her mouth, kissing her hungrily.

Ashley kissed her back with just as much hunger, caressing her mouth with her tongue, Ashley momentarily broke the kiss and guided Spencer onto her back. They kissed once more before Ashley trailed her mouth down her throat, past her breasts, and over her clenched abdomen, stopping at her panties; she quickly pulled them off and parted Spencer's legs. Tenderly kissing Spencer's inner thighs, she moved a little higher and began loving her with her mouth. Spencer squirmed and moaned her pleasure as Ashley's eager tongue continued to take her. Ashley's hand moved up and found Spencer's. She held it tight as Spencer arched against her and cried, "I love you." before releasing a flood of wetness that her orgasm brought on.

Ashley moved up and rested her head against Spencer's stomach, loving the feel of her soft smooth skin as Spencer ran her hand through her hair. They stayed that way a while longer before Ashley started kissing up her stomach, throat, and along her jaw, stopping at her ear; Ashley took Spencer's earlobe into her mouth and sucked it gently before whispering "I love you, too."

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The air around the two teens was almost magical. Ashley pulled back and looked into happy grey eyes. "Do you mean that?" Spencer asked unconsciously holding her breath as she waited for Ashley to answer.

"With all of my heart, Spencer Carlin." Ashley kissed Spencer's forehead.

"That's the best thing I've heard in forever." Spencer smiled and pulled Ashley down, placing a tender kiss on her lips. "Oh and I love you, too."

Ashley couldn't wipe the stupid grin off her face as Spencer's words floated in her mind. "I'm flattered." She breathed before capturing Spencer's lips again. A knock at the door stopped Ashley from slipping her tongue into Spencer's mouth, and with a groan, she broke the kiss and got off the couch. Quickly putting on her bra and shirt, she waited for Spencer to grab all of her clothes and enter the bathroom before opening the door. "Pops." She snorted and walked away from him. "What a pleasant surprise." She added sarcastically.

Pops ignored her and closed the door. "You here alone?" He asked looking around the room.

Stopping at the kitchen door way, Ashley turned to Pops, feeling every good feeling in her body instantly disintegrate. "No, Spencer's here." She answered coolly.

Pops placed his hands on his hips and took in Ashley's appearance. There was still a light sheen of sweat that covered her body and her hair was disheveled. "Please tell me you didn't fuck in a virgin's home." He growled feeling very angry.

"I'd be lying." She muttered, watching as he ran his hand through his hair, something he did to keep from breaking things. That was one thing she didn't do like her father. Break things when she got angry. She remembered being 7 years old and sitting on the bed; watching him grab the hotel's lamp; he shattered all the windows with it and later went to jail.

At the moment the bathroom door opened and Spencer walked out looking a lot better than Ashley did. "Hey Pops." She greeted happily, ignoring the tension she felt in the room.

"Hello Princess." He replied, trying not to show any of his anger. It wasn't Spencer's fault his daughter was a seductress, he reasoned while pulling her into a hug. "Where is Aiden?" He asked while pulling away.

"Back at the hotel." Spencer responded casually.

"I was just about to go fetch him." Ashley quipped in, needing to get out of there. She hated seeing Pops interact with Spencer, especially after the black mail threat. He acted like he actually cared about Spencer, which he didn't. Pops only cared for himself and Ashley wished Spencer would see that and stop being so sweet to him.

"I'll go get you the keys." Spencer said before heading to her purse.

"This is all going to blow up in your fucking face." Pops hissed only loud enough for Ashley to hear.

Ashley smirked. "We'll see."

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Ashley didn't bother knocking. She just slipped in the card and opened the door, not expecting to see Aiden with a tall brunette. The two were standing by the bed, kissing passionately, but Ashley could tell by the used condom on the floor that the two were just finishing up. "Knock, knock." She called out sarcastically.


	2. swallowing down a couple of pills

Tying up another balloon, Spencer looked up at Pops. The blonde manager stood by the window talking to AJ on his cell phone; smiling, laughing, joking and obviously enjoying the conversation he was having with the bus driver. His words were kind, soft and when she heard him answer one of AJ's questions; he answered with the right amount of knowledge and encouragement. Why couldn't he be like that with Ashley? She wondered while tying up another balloon.

"Do we have a cake for the party?"

Jostled out of her musing, Spencer looked back up at Pops. "I think Ashley is still working on it." She answered hesitantly. She didn't know anything about cooking and assumed Ashley knew what she was doing leaving the cake baking in the oven. "I'm sure Ashley left it baking for a reason." She added confidently.

Pops shoved his phone in his pocket and snorted. "Yeah, right. I wouldn't be surprised if she got this place caught on fire trying to bake a cake." He laughed a little."It's rare for her to do something right."

Spencer angrily threw the balloon in her hands aside and stood. "Why do you always do that?" She demanded sternly.

Pops looked at her confused. "Do what?" He asked somberly. It was rare for a woman to get away with using the demanding tone Spencer was using on him. Only Ashley got away with it, but he never saw Ashley as a girl. If anything, looking at Ashley was always like looking in the mirror. They had the same attitude, did the same drugs, both fucked groupies, had the same hate for each other, and overall the same reflection. That's why Ashley's short temper and lack of respect for him never surprised him, it bothered him, but never surprised him. He was the exact same way with other people, including her. But hearing Spencer raise her voice always shocked him, especially when Ashley was the reason behind doing it.

"Always put her down." She answered with flaming grey eyes. "Why don't you have even the littlest of faith in her? She's your daughter for crying out lout! Why can't you just be there for her like you are AJ? Maybe if you were a loving caring father to her she wouldn't be so sad and horrible to herself."

"Princess you have got the girl all wrong." He said with a short laugh. "Ashley doesn't want a father, she doesn't want a mother, she doesn't want anyone! The girl only cares about herself and that's it. Give her a drink, cocaine, and a fuck and she's happy. She's just like me."

"But she's not you." Spencer insisted in a soft but firm voice. "And the mark on her arm tells me she's not as happy as you think she is."

Pops sighed. "Princess, that mark is from last year. That night she was too high to remember her own name. I found her lying on the floor; her eyes were closed but she was breathing. I took her to the hospital, they fixed her up, and she promised to never do anything stupid like that again." Pops didn't mention how pale she looked, how the doctors told him it was a miracle she was still alive, and the two million dollars he bribed them with to keep social services away. "So don't worry about Ashley killing herself." He chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood. "She's fine."

Spencer didn't look convinced but she said 'okay' and let the subject drop anyway.

"Who died?" AJ joked walking through the front door; present in one hand and cell phone in the other; he looked good wearing a white polo shirt and jeans and didn't miss the appreciative gaze Spencer was sending his way. "And how are you today, Spencer?" He asked charmingly.

Out of the three boys, AJ was the one she was closets with. They had a lot of things in common, she realized, after spending a lot time with him on the road. Like her, he grew up wanting to be an actor, went to school in Alabama while living with his grandma, loved country life there, and always dressed preppy. "I'm confused." Spencer said with a short laugh. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you hated Glen."

AJ also laughed a little. "Yes I hate Glen but love parties." And the pretty blondes that attend them.

Pops looked from Spencer to AJ and smiled. "I have to make a call." He lied before walking away from the two. Hearing the playful banter, innocent flirting, and happy laughter made Pops wonder if there could ever be anything between the two of them. He reached the front door and turned back around. Brown eyes watched Spencer lightly punch AJ's upper arm before throwing her head back in laughter. Pop's smile grew larger as he turned around and left.

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Ashley opened the car door and closed it with a violent slam. The ride back to the apartment was anything but pleasant. She hadn't said anything but 'don't talk to me' and 'fuck off' to Aiden the whole trip and ignored all the pleas and bullshit he kept trying to bug her with. He couldn't say anything that would make what he did to Spencer seem okay, and she didn't want to hear him try to sugarcoat fucking a whore behind Spencer's back in anyway, knowing it would only further piss her off; she just didn't say anything. Which wasn't easy, being the outspoken person Ashley was, but she managed by keeping her tongue locked firmly between her teeth; preventing her from asking him if he was brain dead or just plain stupid. What idiot would risk losing Spencer's love and trust for a whore? Ashley just didn't understand it. Walking towards the staircase, that leads to Glen's girlfriend's apartment, Ashley took the stairs two at a time and couldn't wait to escape Aiden's company.

"Ashley can I please just say one thing." He begged slightly out of breath.

Ashley just ignored him and knocked on the door.

"At least promise me you won't tell Spencer." He said fearfully.

Ashley laughed humorlessly. "I'm not going to be the one to break Spencer's heart with that news." She glanced over at him. "That's going to be you."

Aiden didn't say anything, just looked down at the ground.

Ashley looked back at the door and walked in when AJ answered.

"No hello?" He asked sarcastically.

Ashley didn't answer him as she stormed past Spencer and entered the kitchen.

Spencer wondered why Ashley looked so upset and barely kept herself from following the sullen rock star into the kitchen and making her feel good again. She pushed that thought aside and focused on her boyfriend. He also looked pissed off. "What's the matter honey?" She asked while taking a small step toward him.

"I told you to pick me up at 5 Spencer." He said letting all of his anger and frustration seep into his tone.

Spencer looked at the wall clock behind him. It was 4:45. Confused, grey eyes looked back into angry blue. "Um, I'm sorry I sent Ashley a little early." Her voice sounded small and weak to her own ears and she wondered if she looked as scared as she sounded.

Aiden saw the fear cloud Spencer's face and sighed. "I'm sorry it's just….it's just I was busy doing something and hated being disturbed." He explained pulling her into his arms for a hug.

Spencer never really relaxed in his embrace but wrapped her arms around him anyway, waiting for it to end.

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"Bastard." Ashley hissed pulling out the cake in the oven and placing it onto the small island in the middle of the kitchen. She wasn't eavesdropping but the apartment was small enough to easily hear everything Spencer and Aiden were saying. Hearing Aiden blame Spencer for getting him caught deeply disgusted the 17 year old. And that disgust further deepened when she heard how scared Spencer sounded. "Fucker." She murmured under her breath while grabbing the mixing bowl filled with chocolate ganache frosting. Ashley placed the bowl next to the cake and froze when she heard AJ walk in….whistling. She looked up and wanted to puke at how happy he looked. "What's with you?" She asked with a scowl.

AJ sauntered over to her and dipped his finger into the bowl. "Mmm you make the best frosting little sister." He said around the finger in his mouth. Growing up, AJ never saw Ashley as a cousin but a sister. Even though they weren't all that close and practically hated each other he still occasionally called her that, knowing it'd remind her of their childhood and all the times they used to play together, it always softened her up.

Ashley held up a knife. "Next time you stick your grimy little finger into my frosting I'm cutting it off." She threatened with a nasty smile.

AJ quickly stuck both his hands into his pockets and backed away. "Sorry." He mumbled, surprised that his term of endearment did nothing to lighten her sullen mood. "What's with you?" He asked her originally asked question.

Ashley ignored him and started smearing the frosting expertly over the cake.

"Well since you're giving me the silent treatment I might as well answer you." He said practically drooling. He couldn't wait to have a slice of the Chocolate Fudge Birthday Cake she was making. He remembered the last time she baked it. It was before he was the band's driver and during Heather's birthday. It easily outranked any other cake he had ever eaten. "I found my future wife." He declared only loud enough for Ashley to hear.

Not expecting to hear those words, Ashley abruptly looked up and cursed when she almost messed up the cake. "Who's.." stupid enough to marry you? "The lucky lady?" She asked not really caring but needing a good laugh.

AJ sighed dreamily before answering, "Spencer."

Ashley didn't smile, laugh, or tease, she just swallowed back the bile of throw up riding up her throat and continued working on the cake. They have been spending a lot of time together; she realized thinking back over the past week. She wasn't too worried about Spencer falling for AJ. She knew that would never happen, but she was worried about AJ hurting Spencer. Physically. Like her and Pops, he too had the Davies charm with ladies. Luring them into bed with compliments, smiles, and kindness only to be a total asshole to them the morning after; she knew AJ also had Pops violent mindset during sex. Only caring about their pleasure, they would sometimes be extra rough with their victims and continue to be that way, ignoring the tears the girls would have running down their faces, until they finished. Ashley looked back up at AJ and met his gaze. She saw so much determination etched into his eyes that she couldn't help but wonder how far he would go to make Spencer his. Ashley didn't dwell on the thought for too long. She had bigger things to worry about. Like finishing the cake.

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As Ashley finished the finishing touches to the cake, Spencer spent most of her time with Aiden. The two blew up more balloons and stapled streamers and other large decorations onto the walls and ceiling. "Ashley wants to know if you have the candles." AJ said to Spencer, who was busy holding the ladder for Aiden.

"Oh yeah, they're in that bag over there." She let go of the ladder. "Take over and I'll go give them to her."

"Okay." AJ responded grabbing the ladder.

Spencer flashed him a thankful smile before walking over to the bag. After grabbing the small pack of candles, she went straight to the kitchen and walked up slowly behind Ashley. "I have the candles." She announced watching her write happy birthday on the cake with a jumbo pastry bag. "Ooo that looks really good." She murmured over her shoulder. Standing directly behind the rock star, Spencer couldn't stop her arms from reaching out and encircling a slender waste.

Ashley was more than a little surprised at the bold move. "Spencer someone could catch us like this." She whispered feeling two warm hands slip up under her shirt.

"Who cares?" Spencer murmured placing a small kiss on her shoulder.

Ashley smiled and quickly plucked off a small piece of the cake and popped it into her mouth. Turning around in Spencer's embrace, she cupped the side of her face and slowly dipped her head. Lips met softly and it wasn't long before the kiss deepened. At that moment, Ashley slyly slipped the small piece of cake into Spencer's mouth and loved the small hum of approval that erupted deep in the blonde's throat. "Taste better than it looks?" She asked with a small grin.

At Spencer's enthusiastic nod, Ashley turned back around and faced the cake once again. She had to fix the small dent in the cake, where she had plucked off the small piece, but found that nearly impossible with Spencer's arms firmly wrapped around her waist again and moaned when she felt insistent lips kiss down her neck.

Ashley threw the pastry bag aside with a low growl and then turned around. Her hands instantly latched onto Spencer's hips, pulling her closer to her; she dipped her head and smiled. "I see you're still hungry." She breathed against parted moist lips. "Let me fix that." She closed the little distance between them and their lips met. Ashley's pulse raced as Spencer returned the kiss with just as much, if not more, passion. Her hands lowered from Spencer's hips to her ass and she groaned when she felt a persistent little tongue slip into her mouth, playing with her tongue ring. At that moment, Ashley knew getting her tongue pierced was one of the best things she had ever done.

It wasn't until Spencer whimpered softly did Ashley realize her thigh had moved forward and was now thrusting between her legs. Spencer broke the kiss and let her head fall back with a silent sigh, offering Ashley all of her exposed neck and shoulders. The sight sent a fresh wave of desire straight down to Ashley's center and she wasted no time moving her mouth down to greedily feast on the soft skin offered to her. Placing her hands on Spencer's waist, Ashley abruptly pushed her against the counter.

Spencer blindly swept away all of the cooking supplies crowding the area as Ashley lifted her up onto the counter top. Wrapping her legs around Ashley's waist, grey eyes watched impatient tan hands lower the spaghetti straps of her dress down her arms before pushing the material covering her breast down. Feeling two tender hands on her backside pulling her against her, Ashley waste no time cupping a full firm breast while hungrily kissing Spencer, swallowing her moans and sighs; Ashley felt every nerve in her body scream for some sort of release but ignore her own body's needs while sliding her hands up Spencer's thighs.

"Spencer we need more staples!"

Ashley groaned and broke the kiss. Resting her forehead against Spencer's, she panted, "Make them go away." But she knew that wasn't going to happen. She had totally forgotten the fact that AJ and Aiden were working in the next room and regretted not making Spencer stop from the start. Now she was going to spend the rest of the day all hot and bothered. Brown eyes opened and stared into laughing grey. I take that back, She told herself, is was so worth it. She is so worth it. "I guess you should bring them some staples." Ashley said pulling back. She removed her hands from under Spencer's dress and moved them up to cover her breasts again. "Beach house after the party?" She half asked half pleaded.

Spencer didn't hesitate answering. "Yes."

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"Surprise!" Everyone shouted when Glen walked through the front door, flicking on the lights. Only Glen's closest family and friends were there, gathered around in his girlfriend's Elise's apartment; it was sort of crowded but nobody seemed bothered by it. Ashley watched with a small smile as Glen's Mom walked up and planted a wet kiss on his cheek. It made her think of her own mother and their current situation. She hadn't talked to her since being banned from Kyla and was more than a little scared at the thought of ever speaking to her again. Her mother now knew everything she was about; drugs, sex, and lies. How could she face her again? "This party blows." She headrd Mike comment near her ear.

Ashley faced him and frowned when she saw how red his eyes were. "There are kids here and you're high." She hissed, outraged and maybe a little jealous that he was high and she wasn't. The mere thought of drugs made Ashley think of cocaine and her cravings started up, flowing through every part of her body, filling her mind. It was almost automatic now. Her brain would start to devise some sort of plan to find cocaine, and a place to take it, where she could have some privacy and maybe a little sex too. Ashley slightly shook her head and chastised herself for thinking like that. Just be strong, she murmured to herself.

"So what if there are fucking kids here." Mike slurred. "It's not like this is fucking chucky cheese or some shit."

Ashley turned her head and looked at the small boy watching them. His bright blue eyes were wide and filled with surprise and fear. Ashley turned back toward the drummer and grabbed his hand. "Come on." She muttered leading him outside.

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Spencer sat at the table with Elise, Elise's mother, and Glen's mother, laughing, gossiping, and just talking. Spencer realized, after a short period of time, how much she missed girl talk. Back in Ohio, she would always hang around her mother and her friends while they talked about famine things. She always had tons of fun and could barely wait every weekend to do it again.

"So, Spencer. Please tell us how you managed to find that hunk of a man." Gina, Glen's mom, requested with a playful smile.

Spencer chuckled. "We grew up together and just sort of decided to take being best friends to a new level." She answered casually.

"Mmm, yes I can imagine how hard it must be for you to keep your hands off him." Elaine, Elise's mom, stated while staring hungrily at Aiden.

"Mother!" Elise chastised. "Stop that, not everyone believes in saving themselves for marriage." She added assuming Aiden and Spencer have sex.

"I thought you said you were Christian." Elaine said looking at Spencer.

Oh boy. "I am." Spencer said. "But, um, I'm not abstinent." She admitted with a slight blush.

"Well that's not so bad." Gina inquired. "There are sins worst than that."

Elaine nodded her head in agreement. "Like homosexuality."

Spencer's body visibly stiffened.

"Mother." Elise chastised. "Ashley has that sickness."

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"Come on Ashley." Mike groaned. "There are better parties out there happening right now. We're in LA for Christ's sake." He looked at her. "Let's go crash some of them."

Ashley sat on the last step of the staircase, leading up to the apartment, smoking a cigarette. She looked up at Mike, who stood in front of her, and briefly shook her head no. "I like this party." She lied. It made her more than a little uncomfortable being surrounded by overly religious people. She didn't hate them, they just made her nervous. "Plus I promised Glen I'd stay sober tonight."

"Come on Ash. Those people in there hate you." He spat. "I may be high but I'm sure as hell not blind."

Ashley shrugged. "I still promised Glen."

"Okay." He sighed while stumbling over to take the seat next to Ashley. After a brief moment of silence he looked over at her. "I have some really good shit, Ashley. Are you sure you want to keep this promise thing?"

Putting out the cigarette, brown eyes closed as Ashley leaned her head heavily against the stair railing. "I'm sure."

Mike stood again, nearly tripping, he said. "Well I'm taking off. I'll text you when I find a cool party incase you change your mind."

Ashley didn't say anything. She just nodded her head and decided she was going to stay outside a little while longer before going back to the party.

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Spencer couldn't believe everything the people around her were saying. It just disgusted her how small minded the women around her were. They were saying every mean thing in the book about homosexuality. Spencer was internally raging but had a strained smile plastered on her face despite how angry she felt. What was she supposed to say? She knew absolutely nothing about being gay, including how to deal with judgmental assholes. A silent sigh of relief escaped her lips when Glen announced he was ready for the cake. Spencer immediately started looking around for Ashley and frowned when she couldn't find her. "Um, I'll go get Ashley." She said standing from her seat. She ignored all of the disgusted expressions on Gina, Elise, and Elaine's faces as she headed out the door. A shiver shook her body as she closed the front door and walked towards the stairs. "Ashley?" She asked quietly wondering why Ashley was out in the cold. A smile soon turned frowned graced her lips when she spotted the rock star sitting on the last step of the staircase smoking a cigarette.

Spencer quietly made her way down to Ashley and took the seat next to her. Ashley soon faced her with a small grin plastered on her face. Spencer smiled back and chuckled softly. "It was hell in there." She murmured throwing her arms around the rock star.

Ashley turned her head away from Spencer and blew out a mouth full of smoke while extinguishing the small white bud in her hand against the concrete ground. "What happened?" She asked while gently slipping her hand under her shirt, lightly messaging the small of Spencer's back.

Spencer closed her eyes and nuzzled her nose against the soft warm skin on Ashley's neck. "I really don't want to talk about it." She admitted honestly just wanting forget everything she had heard minutes earlier.

Ashley pulled back a little and stared down at her face. She really wanted to push the subject but decided not to. "Okay." She replied placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "We should get back inside. I'm really cold." She lied. Ashley was more than used to LA's hot days and cold nights but feeling Spencer shiver in her arms told her it was time to go.

Spencer nodded eagerly in agreement as they stood. "Oh by the way it's time to cut the cake."

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After taking a deep breath Ashley opened the door and held it open for Spencer. Spencer walked past her with a reassuring smile on her face which made Ashley feel a little better but that didn't last long. Every religious eye in the room was on her and the disgusted looks on their faces told Ashley they more than a little bothered by her presence. She just ignored them and stood silently between Pops and AJ.

"Mmm, this cake looks amazing." Glen said looking at Ashley. "Thank you for making it like you promised you would."

Their eyes held a little longer and Ashley knew he wasn't only thanking her for the cake but also for keeping her promise about staying sober. "No problem." She retorted with a small smile. It made her feel guilty seeing the joy in his eyes. He was happy that she wasn't high but that wasn't going to last forever, Ashley realized while watching him blow out the candles. The next night, maybe tonight, she would be back to where she was yesterday. In a hotel room with a bag of cocaine. The thought didn't bother her too much. Thinking of cocaine was like thinking of breathing now. It was just apart of her everyday life. "Here you go."

"Thanks." Ashley thanked Gina while taking the paper plate being handed to her.

"You're welcome." The older woman replied dryly, not looking at her.

Ashley ignored her disrespect and walked towards the couch. Silently, she took a seat and started eating her cake. "How are you doing?" Aiden asked while taking the seat next her. "You made a really good cake." He said looking at her. When she said nothing he gritted his teeth in frustration and hissed, "Can you just say something?"

"Fuck off." She said only loud enough for him to hear. "Satisfied? Oh wait don't answer that I already know the answer." She added sarcastically.

"I know what I did earlier today was bad but I promise it was only a once in a lifetime kind of thing." He reassured placing a hand on her shoulder. "Ash I don't want this Spencer thing to come between us. We've been really good friends for awhile and I don't want that to go away." He gave her shoulder a light squeeze before pulling it away. "Can you forgive me?"

Ashley looked into his face and saw sincerity and truth in his vibrant blue eyes. His tone was convincing and Ashley could easily see Aiden using his soft guilty voice, sorry blue eyes, and reassuring words to get anyone to forgive him. Too bad she wasn't anyone. "I can't do that until you do something for me." She replied nonchalantly.

He blinked in surprise. "I'll do anything." He replied hesitantly, afraid she would ask him to tell Spencer about the affair.

"I want you to get tested." She responded without missing a beat.

Aiden choked on the cake in his mouth, "What?" He gasped looking over at her. "Get tested for what?"

"STDs." Ashley answered seriously. "You don't want to risk giving something Spencer, do you?" She questioned looking at him. Reddened face, Aiden looked down at his shoes and slowly shook his head 'no'. "Good, then tomorrow you can call your doctor and have something arranged."

Aiden looked back at her and sighed. "But Cindy was the only girl besides Spencer that I've slept with."

"Do you know all the people Cindy has fucked and their sexual history?" She asked already knowing he didn't.

"That's impossible."

"Okay then, you need to get tested." She asserted firmly.

"Fine." Aiden murmured. "But you can't tell Spencer. She'll get suspicious I think."

Ashley slowly nodded her head 'yes'. "I won't tell Spencer then."

"Good." Aiden smiled. "So we're cool again?"

Ashley laughed harshly while standing. "Not by a long shot." She looked down at him. "But I no longer want to rip your throat out and choke you with it, so I'll say we've taken a step forward."

Aiden just smiled weakly while watching her throw her paper plate away.

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Ashley sat quietly on the floor, ignoring all of the voices around her; she focused solely on the Xbox game she was playing. Halo 2 had always been her favorite Xbox game. Just like all the other games she has ever gotten, Ashley got it a few days before it came out and played it obsessively until she beat it. Growing up, she never went to school, so spent most of her time on guitar and video games. Thinking back, Ashley remembered being 11 years old and walking up to Pops, demanding he put her in school, and then she remembered how mad he got and the words he spoke, 'Fuck school kid, it's not like you're ever going to need it. All the money you'll be making is going to come from your guitar.' Ashley simply mumbled 'okay' and never brought up the subject again. A vibration on her side pocket brought Ashley back to reality. "I don't want to play anymore." She announced handing the controller up to Clay. Standing, Ashley pulled out her cell phone and walked into the kitchen. "Hello?" She mumbled into the phone.

Spencer quickly glanced over at Ashley and saw how happy and animated she was talking to person on the other line of the phone. "Babe, I have to get going." She heard Aiden announce from behind.

Spencer stood from her seat and pecked Aiden's lips quickly before pulling him into a hug. "Call me later." She mumbled into his chest.

Aiden pulled back and smiled. "Will do." He placed a tender kiss on her lips. "See you in New Mexico?"

"Of course." Spencer replied smiling up at him. She didn't know how long they stayed like that, just staring into one another eyes; Spencer saw all of the love and joy he felt for her and was mesmerized by how intense the feeling was. "I love you." She stated meaning every word.

Aiden's smile grew as he replied, "I love you too."

They hugged again and a small sigh of contentment escaped Spencer's lips as she rested her cheek against his chest. She closed her eyes and at that moment she felt safe wrapped in his arms, something she hadn't felt in awhile. Spencer missed that feeling and savored every second of it while enjoying the smell of his cologne. A bright red crimson blush glazed Spencer's face when she opened her eyes and caught Ashley looking at them. Her face was blank; free from any emotion she might have been feeling and Spencer all of sudden felt awkward being in the same room with her. She watched Ashley look away and lightly clear her throat before turning away and continuing her phone conversation. Spencer broke away from Aiden and walked him outside; she needed to get away from Ashley for a little while because the guilt was starting to gnaw at her.

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The party was over and Spencer and Ashley said goodbye to everyone before leaving. They hadn't said much to each other but by the way Ashley grasped Spencer's hand and interlocked their fingers told the blonde everything was alright. It sounded like a total lie but she kept telling herself that anyway. She knew this wasn't fair to Aiden and Ashley but she just couldn't fathom letting either of them go. She did love Ashley very much but she also had those same feeling for Aiden. How could she choose between the two?

Ashley was lost in her own thoughts as they silently walked to the car. The way Spencer was looking at him said more than a thousand words, telling Ashley more than she wanted to hear, and it cut deep, it was painful, but that was life, Ashley reasoned while pulling the keys out of her pockets. Spencer did say she loved me, she internally mused, shouldn't that be enough? This was all my fault anyway. How could I expect Spencer to leave her boyfriend for something she never asked for? Someone she never asked for? Ashley stopped in front of the car and turned to look at the quiet blonde. Distress and confusion was etched clearly over her fair features and it made Ashley feel bad. "Hey," she gently chided while cupping the side of her face. Their eyes met and Ashley smiled. "I love you." She shyly stated placing a light kiss on her lips.

They pulled back and Spencer saw all of the love and care Ashley felt for her shining in happy brown eyes, not hate or disgust like she expected. "I love you too." Spencer replied pulling her head down for another kiss.

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Stumbling through the front door of her beach house, Ashley pushed Spencer up against the door and began hungrily kissing the blonde. Spencer easily accepted the rock star's advances and wrapped her arms around Ashley's neck while feeling her hands slip into her back pockets. "That fucking party was torturous." Ashley whispered kissing her chin. "I wanted you so fucking bad so many times." She groaned kissing up her jaw.

It was all almost too much for Spencer. Feeling Ashley's breasts against her own, hot breath against her ear, and thigh placed firmly between her legs sent an instant wave of desire through her. "Me too." She husked before Ashley grasped her head and pulled her in for another kiss. Ashley pushed her body deeper into Spencer and groaned as Spencer's tongue invaded her mouth, further arousing the horny teen. Her mind was filled with nothing but unquenched lust and the throbbing in her pants was driving her toward a climax she desperately needed. "Mmm I want to feel what I do to you." Ashley rasped shifting a bit to move her hand down between their bodies; she quickly unbuttoned Spencer's jeans and slipped her hand between the blonde's legs, under her panties.

"Ashley." Spencer closed her eyes and gasped, abruptly leaning her head back against the door. Her knees were starting to weaken as her legs trembled uncontrollably as Ashley nipped and sucked along her neck. Grey eyes opened and barely made out the figure standing behind Ashley in the darkened room. Her hand immediately shot down to grasp Ashley's busy wrist. "Ashley, stop." She stuttered, half from arousal half from nervousness.

Ashley nipped lightly on her skin. "No fucking way." She groaned, moving her own body against Spencer as she continued to pleasure the blonde. "You're so fucking close, Spencer. Just a little longer."

Spencer saw the intruder's jaw drop and pushed Ashley away.

"Whoa," Ashley stumbled backwards, almost falling due to her weakened legs, and stared incredulously at Spencer. "Why'd you do that?" She panted confusedly.

Spencer opened and closed her mouth before rolling her eyes and moving her hand over to the light switch. With a flick of her wrist, the lights came on and both teens were shocked to see Kyla and Jason standing a couple of feet away from, obviously surprised. "What are you two doing here?" Ashley asked breaking the awkward silence; her body's throbbing forgotten as she stared into her little sister's face, worried.

Situation forgotten, Kyla moved forward and urgently wrapped her arms around Ashley. Her face was buried against Ashley's neck as she started crying. "I just can't stand her Ash!" Kyla exclaimed through her tears.

Ashley stood confused holding Kyla while staring over at Jason. His hair was shorter, neater, and his pants were decently raised to his waist. Ashley was surprised for a moment at the change and if it weren't for Kyla crying in her arms she would have probably laughed at how nerdy he looked now. "Stand who?" She asked pulling back to stare into her little sister's eyes.

"Mom." Kyla sniffed. "I came here to get away from her." Wiping her eyes she looked back into worried brown eyes. "You said I could come here whenever I wanted, incase I needed to get away, remember?" She asked with a small voice.

Ashley nodded. "I remember." She answered placing a small kiss on her forehead. Looking at Spencer, Ashley saw the tired/concerned look on her face and after looking around at everyone else; she realized everyone looked just as tired as her. "It's been a long day." Ashley stated gently looking at Kyla. "We'll talk more about this tomorrow, okay?" At Kyla's nod she asked her next question. "How long have you been here?"

Kyla thought a moment. "About three days." She confessed sheepishly.

Ashley chewed on the inside of her cheek. "Does mom know you're here?" She asked assuming Brenda knew nothing about Kyla's whereabouts.

Kyla looked away while nodding her head 'no'.

Ashley sighed. "Okay." She mumbled to herself, praying Brenda doesn't call the cops. "You'll have to call her tomorrow or something." She told Kyla. "But for now you and Jack can sleep in the guest room." She looked over at Jason and growled when he opened his mouth to correct her. "I don't care." She bluntly informed him.

Jason sighed and looked to Spencer for help, thinking she had some sort of a hold on the sullen rock star.

Spencer got the message and looked at Ashley. "Ashley." She chastised gently.

Ashley looked at her with mock annoyance, trying to keep a somewhat authoritative demeanor around her sister and Jason, but failed miserably do to the small smile plastered on her lips. "Yeah?" She asked pulling herself completely away from Kyla to face Spencer.

"Hmm." Spencer hummed closing the distance between them; she wrapped her arms loosely around Ashley's neck and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Be nice." She purred playfully before placing another small kiss on her lips.

Ashley was momentarily dumbstruck at the public display of affection and looked over at Kyla and Jason, seeing them cover their mouths as they laughed relived her immensely. It was good knowing Kyla and Jason knew about them and chose not to question them being together. She almost wished it were a normal happy relationship, instead of an affair -- Ashley immediately pushed that thought out of her mind and chastised herself for thinking badly. She didn't want to dwell on the bad, she just wanted to live in the now, where she was happy. "It's not that funny." She groaned, only making Kyla and Jason laugh harder.

"I'm so sorry Ash," Kyla started between laughter. "It's just I have never seen you so red before!" She exclaimed laughing a little harder.

Ashley looked at Spencer with an expression that asked 'happy now?' and chuckled when Spencer started laughing too. They kissed again but it wasn't as chaste as the last two. It was tender, sweet, and serious, and when the kiss ended Ashley looked over at Kyla and was surprised to see the expression she wore on her face. She no longer laughed or was even smiling. She was just expressionless. Ashley looked back into loving grey eyes. "Why don't you and Jason get ready for bed?" She suggested casually. "I have to talk to Kyla for a second."

Spencer didn't hesitate placing another small kiss on Ashley's lips before following Kyla's boyfriend upstairs. Ashley watched them leave before turning her attention back to her sister. "What's wrong, Ky? You look upset?" She inquired nervously.

Kyla looked away and questioned whether she should answer or not. "I don't know, Ash." She sighed looking back into her sister's brown eyes. "It's just I don't want to see you get…..hurt." She answered carefully.

"What makes you think I'll get hurt?"

Kyla looked away again. "Ashley, I like Spencer and I know you do too but isn't she still with Aiden?" She looked up into her sister's face and continued when Ashley nodded her head 'yes'. "Then what are you doing?" She asked confusedly. "Those first two kisses seemed like jokes to me but that last one looked pretty real."

Ashley's face clouded over with sadness. "I um appreciate your concern Kyla. If the roles were reversed I'd probably be telling you the same things." Except the words would be; leave, run as fast as you can, and hide forever. "But I really do love Spencer – and before you ask – she loves me too." She looked away. "She just needs time to see who her boyfriend really is."

Kyla didn't understand but didn't question Ashley further. Her older sister looked tired and she didn't want to make things worse for her. "Alright." She said in a tone that told Ashley the subject was being dropped. Kyla smiled and ruffled Ashley's hair a bit. "When'd you do this?" She asked referring to her hair cut.

Ashley shrugged. "A few days ago, like it?"

Kyla's smile widened. "Yeah, it suits you."

"Good." Ashley looked up the stairs when she heard heavy laughter erupt from both Spencer and Jason. Hearing them brought another question to mind. "How long has he been here?" She asked looking at Kyla.

Kyla laughed nervously. "Three days but we've been sleeping and only sleeping in the guest bed." She looked around the empty room before eyeing her sister. "Why are the two beds upstairs the only things you have in this place besides your clothes?" She questioned with amusement.

Ashley chuckled. "I guess I'm lazy."

Kyla's jaw dropped. "Too lazy to shop? Are you sure you're human?" She teased.

Ashley playfully rolled her eyes. "I personally like the place empty. It'd make any jackass stupid enough to rob me feel….stupid."

Kyla laughed. "Oh like anyone would be able to get passed all the security you have in this place. You gave me all the codes and it still took some work to get in here."

"Then I guess it works." She shrugged. "Speaking of security, are the cops or anything after you? I know Brenda must be scared to death."

Kyla sobered quickly and again let out a nervous laugh. "I might have heard from a friend that I'm all over the news." She answered sheepishly.

"Wonderful." Ashley mumbled trying her best not to look as mad as she felt. Her efforts heightened when she saw guilt was over her sister's features. "Come ere kiddo." She said playfully pulling her into another hug.

"I'm so sorry Ash, but I couldn't stay there." She murmured wrapping her arms around Ashley. "I hate this new guy." She sniffled.

Ashley immediately pulled away at the amount of anguish in Kyla's tone. "He didn't try anything….." She trailed off when Kyla shook her head 'no'. "Good." She said in relief. At her sister's yawn Ashley placed another kiss on her forehead. "We'll talk more in the morning, okay?" Kyla yawned again before saying okay. The two made their way upstairs.

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"Are you sure it doesn't look bad?" Jason asked a giggling Spencer.

Spencer shook her head 'no'. "They look great on you." She said eyeing the girl camo pajama pants he was wearing. "And it's way better than you sleeping your tity whites or jeans." She couldn't stop the hysterical laughter that came with remembering walking into the guest room to find Jason wearing only the smallest underwear she had ever seen on a boy.

"It's not that funny." Jason said with a blush. Sure the first time Spencer walked in on him and made fun of his underwear made him laugh, but now, after being laughed at at least five different times, it was starting to get annoying.

"I'm sorry." Spencer apologized through the tears running down her face. "I'll stop." She promised biting down on her bottom lip.

"Are those my pants!"

Spencer looked to the doorway and laughed harder when she saw the outrage expression on Ashley's face. They were in Ashley's bedroom; Jason standing in front of the mirror and Spencer sitting on the bed. "Hey this wasn't my idea." Jason explained pointing to Spencer, who was oblivious to anything but her own laughter. "She made me!"

Ashley turned her disgusted look to Spencer, but had to smile at the blonde, who was near hysteria with her laughter. "Is that true?"

Spencer took a few deep breaths before answering Ashley. "It was either that or his man panties." She said between her laughter.

Jason's blush grew as Ashley stared at him with very wide eyes. "Man panties?" She asked slowly trying to keep her own laughter at bay as she pictured the tall scrawny boy in man panties.

"Hey they were the only clean underwear I could find." He said defensively walking towards the door. "Thanks for the PJ's." He called over his shoulder before leaving the room.

Ashley walked after him and locked the door when he left, thinking she was going to burn the pants when he finished with them. Groaning at the thought, she faced Spencer and smiled at her flush from laughing face. "That was scary." She said shuddering.

Spencer nodded in agreement and said nothing as Ashley disappeared into her massive walk in closet. She took this time to examine the rock star's bedroom. It was large, gorgeous, and mostly empty. Only a bed and Ashley's scattered clothes filled the room. The rest of it was just empty space. Spencer scooted back on the bed and sighed while nestling against the comfy white pillow under her head. She closed her eyes and thought back to her own home in Ohio. It wasn't as extravagant as the homes in LA but it was still pretty pricy. They lived in a large two story house that sat on three acres of land. Spencer loved it there, especially during summer time. Her mother would always throw a party on the first day of summer. Inviting all of their family and friends, Arthur would BBQ while Paula set up the fun stuff like their volleyball net, slip n slides, and Spencer's favorite; their small go cart track. Spencer sighed and realized for the first time in a while how home sick she felt.

Ashley stood at her closet door way and watched Spencer. She looked sad and very deep in thought, confusing Ashley. Did Spencer want to leave? Was she uncomfortable being here with…me? All of the rock star's insecurities hit her hard and she felt like her head would explode with the amount of stress running through her head. Hesitating, she walked quietly to the bed and climbed on. "What's wrong?" She asked approaching the blonde.

Opening grey eyes, Spencer pulled her head up and made eye contact with Ashley. "I'm just a little home sick." She answered letting her head fall back on the pillow.

Ashley moved higher up on the bed and lied on her side facing Spencer. "Is there anything I can do to help?" She asked suggestively running her finger up and down the blonde's arm. "I'm good at cheering people up." She added with a rakish grin.

"Hmm, really? Do I want to know you're technique?" She asked playfully.

"Oh yeah." Ashley purred moving her hand up to her under arm.

Spencer let out a loud squeal as Ashley starting tickling her. She rolled around on the bed trying to get away from her assaulting fingers but it didn't help much. The two started rolling around in bed together, trying to tickle one another while laughing. It wasn't long before Spencer gained the upper hand. Ashley had fallen on her back and watched as Spencer straddled waist and started attacking the tan skin on her abdomen. Spencer could feel herself enjoying this more than she should have so stopped. Gliding her fingers up under Ashley's shirt, watching her flush face as she panted, trying to catch her breath, sent a jolt of desire through the blonde. Spencer quickly got off her and flung herself on the other side of the bed, lying on her back next to Ashley; she grasped the rock star's hand while fighting to control her own breathing. "You're technique worked." She said with a lazy smile.

"It does every time." Ashley said smugly. "I can't tell you how many girls I fuc-" She stopped abruptly when she realized what she almost admitted. She had no idea how to coax a girl into having sex when she started being sexuality active. Well the girls that weren't groupies. The normal girls she would find in a store or on the streets would be the ones that stumped her. After a lot of trial and errors she found out what worked and what didn't. One of her tactics was to find a girl, ask her for directions to the hotel she was staying at, claim she still had no idea where it was, and ask the girl as politely as she could to take her there. The girls would usually agree and Ashley would invite them up to her hotel room, as a way of thanking them, when they got there. Of course they wouldn't pass up a chance to see an expensive luxury suite in a 5 star hotel. Ashley would lead the way, internally cheering, and would give the girl a tour of the place. After a lot of small talk and hanging out, Ashley would lead them to her room and fling herself onto the comfortable bed, moaning 'You have to check this out'. Her victim would always do so and they would start with the small talk again and then Ashley would find some way to slyly add a tickle attack, get them into a sexual position, get the girl turned on, and fuck her. After all of that, Ashley would laugh, kick them out, shower, and fall asleep.

Spencer moved her hand out of Ashley's and sat up. She looked down into the rock star's face and noticed how mortified she looked. "And is that how you were going to get some from me?" She asked, surprised by the anger and hurt in her voice.

"I didn't mean to say that." Ashley mumbled. "And fucking you was the last thing on my mind when I started our little tickle fest. My intent was to make you smile, laugh, and forget about you're homesickness. I guess I failed." She added turning over on her side, her back facing Spencer.

Spencer felt like crap staring at Ashley's sulking form. She should have never assumed what Ashley's intentions were but couldn't stop herself. She did love Ashley but there was a major trust issue between them. Ashley being with other women would always be on Spencer's mind and that bothered her. The only way to really stop those thoughts and Ashley's actions would be to give herself fully to Ashley but that would mean giving up Aiden. Her chest tightened at the thought but she knew it had to be done. She loved Aiden and apart of her didn't want to do this. Didn't want to lose him but a bigger part wanted Ashley.

Spencer moved her hands to the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. Soon, her bra, pajama pants and underwear went to. Her clothes lied discarded on the floor and Spencer fought back a shiver as she looked back over at Ashley, naked as the day she was born. She was wearing her classical sleeping attire; tank top and boxer shorts and Spencer couldn't wait to strip them off. Silently, she moved over towards Ashley and curled up against her. Her chest coming in contact with Ashley's back as she spooned tightly against the rock star. She nuzzled the nape of Ashley's neck while moving her hand under her shirt, making smooth gentle circles on her toned abdomen.

Ashley's eyes were wide opened as she felt Spencer's bare body press against her own. She wondered what the blonde was up to, especially when she felt the hand slip under her under her shirt. "Spencer?" She whispered, feeling fingertips slip under the elastic band of her shorts.

"Shh." Spencer murmured against her ear. "Just listen okay?" At Ashley's short nod Spencer moved her hand back up and kept it on her stomach. "First off I want to apologize for assuming all you wanted was sex but it's really hard to convince myself that's not true." She admitted honestly. "Since day one that's what you've told me but I don't think it's true anymore.."

"It's not." Ashley asserted quickly.

"Good." Spencer smiled. "Then I want to be with you Ashley. I want to be…I guess you're girlfriend." She paused a moment. "And only yours."

Ashley rolled over on her back and watched Spencer nestle up against her side; her blonde head resting on her bare shoulder as she draped her legs over both Ashley's. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" She asked suspiciously.

Spencer picked her head up and shifted a bit to look into brown eyes. "I'm breaking up with Aiden." She confirmed in a small almost sad voice. Clearing her throat a bit, she added with as much cheerfulness and joy as she could muster, "Congratulations Ms. Davies, I'm officially yours."

Ashley could see right through all of Spencer's attempts to sound positive. "Are you sure you want to do that? I'm not exactly someone to bring home to the rents." She joked weakly, wondering why Spencer was doing this. She knew Spencer loved her but also knew she loved Aiden, just as much if not more and her tone said enough to tell Ashley she didn't really want to break up with him. It just all sounded so fake, forced, and that bothered Ashley.

"I'm a thousand percent sure." Spencer whispered. "I…I want you Ashley and my parents will eventually warm up to you." She smiled a little. "You can charm the pants off anyone when you want to, Ashley."

Ashley laughed. "Hmm I guess you're living proof of that." She said looking beyond Spencer's bare waist.

Blushing furiously, Spencer buried her head against Ashley's neck and groaned, "I'm never going to get used to this naked thing."

"Hey." Ashley cooed, rising up on her elbows; she tilted Spencer' chin up and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Naked suites you so there's no reason for you to be embarrassed, especially around me." She added bringing a hand up to caress her blushing cheek.

"I just can't help it sometimes." Spencer chuckled nervously. "I guess I'm just not as comfortable with it as you are." She admitted feeling a little naïve.

Ashley smiled. "Being comfortable around people naked 24/7 is only required if you plan on living in a nudist colony. Which I hope isn't true."

"Definitely not." Spencer reassured.

"Then it's not something I expect from you." She lovingly brushed her hand through soft blonde hair. "I don't want you doing things you're uncomfortable with, Spencer. Especially if you're doing them to please me." She kissed her again. "Just you being in my air space makes me incredibly happy." She added honestly.

Spencer stared into her eyes and saw nothing but honesty shining in her dark brown eyes. "That means a lot to me." She confessed trying not to cry. Conversations like this never went well with Aiden. There were things he would ask her to do that would make her feel extremely uncomfortable, but she did them anyways because she didn't want to deal with the arguments and the name calling that would always follow after her saying 'no'. But she realized Ashley was nothing like Aiden. She actually cared about her comfort and feelings, something Aiden was never really good at doing, and if he did care he never expressed it well.

Ashley was confused by the tears that fell from Spencer's eyes and she couldn't help but wonder if she said something wrong. "What's wrong?" She asked gently wiping the tears off her face.

Spencer answered by cupping the side of her face and brushing her lips against Ashley's in a slow sensual way. "I love you Ashley." She whispered before gently wiping away the reminiscence of their kiss on her quivering bottom lip. Ashley didn't have to say anything for Spencer to know how she felt at the moment. All the love and care shined freely through desire filled eyes as Ashley brought her head back down. Their lips melted together again and Ashley whimpered when she felt Spencer's breast barley brush against her own. "Wait, won't Kyla and Jason hear?" Spencer asked as Ashley rolled her over on her back.

Ashley smiled down at Spencer. "Sound proof walls." She whispered nudging Spencer's thighs apart. "Got to love them." She gasped pushing her hips into Spencer's, moaning as she felt Spencer push back.

Spencer moved her hands up over Ashley's ass, back, neck; burying her finger is soft auburn hair, she pulled Ashley closer, wishing she could feel all of what the rock star's clothes were covering. "Ms. Davies I do believe you're over dressed." She said releasing the hold on her hair.

Ashley chuckled and sat up on her knees. She took a moment to study blonde. She lied flat on her back, chest heaving, and face flushed; Ashley realized she was the luckiest person in the world at that moment. "You're so beautiful Spencer." She whispered passionately bringing her hands to the hem of her shirt; she took it off in one swift motion and shivered as the cold air in the room came into contact with her bare breasts.

Sitting up, Spencer wasted no time capturing Ashley's lips in a hungry kiss fueled by the rock star's busy hands on her body. "Let's stay here forever." Spencer panted as their lips broke apart.

Ashley placed her hands on Spencer's bare hips and moved her onto her lap. "Yeah, a place with hardly anything in it. Can you really live with nothing?" She asked running a loving hand through long blonde hair.

Spencer nodded, her face serious. "I don't care as long as I have you with me." She kissed her lips gently. "That's all that matters, Ashley."

Ashley swallowed hard and looked away from Spencer's intense gaze. Her words were filled with so much love and truth that Ashley nearly cried. She couldn't remember the last time someone made her feel special, needed, loved, and she realized for the first time in forever how much her soul yearned to hear those things. But she couldn't fully fathom it all. It just all seemed too surreal. Too good to be true. Spencer in her house, Spencer in her bed, Spencer breaking up with Aiden, was this really happening? Or was reality playing a cruel trick on her and she was dreaming? God, she hoped this wasn't a dream. "Don't leave me." She whispered desperately. The thought of Spencer going away the next day, the next week, or ever made Ashley's chest hurt. She loved Spencer and knew she would somehow mess everything up and couldn't stop herself pleading, "Promise me you won't ever leave, no matter what." She felt guilty making Spencer promise but she couldn't deal with the pain Spencer's departure would bring.

Grey eyes focused solely on the teary brown eyes before her. She could hear the desperation and fear in Ashley's voice and had to set her mind at ease. "I promise you Ashley Davies, no matter what happens, I will never leave you." She promised with her own tears running down her face.

Ashley pulled Spencer to her and kissed her deeply, putting all of the love and joy she felt in that moment in their kiss; she felt arms wrap around her shoulders as Spencer sighed into their kiss. Now, she really hoped this wasn't a dream.

Spencer felt relaxed, happy, and safe in Ashley's embrace and felt the love radiate off her in waves. Everything was good at that moment, perfect, and she wouldn't trade what was happening now for anything else in the world.

Ashley broke the kiss and smiled at the blonde. "Enjoying yourself?" She asked while nuzzling the expanse of Spencer's neck, inhaling the lavender scented skin.

"I always enjoy being with you." Spencer admitted closing her eyes while Ashley placed featherlike kisses along her neck and shoulders. "Feel how much I enjoy being with you," Spencer whispered thrusting her hips forward.

Ashley moaned as Spencer wrapped her legs around her waist and started to lightly grinding her wetness against her. "I love the way you feel." She murmured against the hollow of her throat, running her hands up and down Spencer's back. "Every inch of you." She nipped lightly along both collar bones, resting her hands on a firm ass, she pulled Spencer tighter against her.

Spencer moaned while moving her hands up, burying them in short auburn hair; she closed her eyes while arching her head back, enjoying the immense pleasure she was receiving from moving against Ashley. "Oh god." She gasped feeling Ashley cup the under side of her breast.

Ashley couldn't keep her hands to herself as she watched Spencer's chest thrust up from her arching. Brown eyes stared hungrily at Spencer's erect nipples and brought her palm up. Carefully, she started rolling a stiff bud against it and enjoyed listening to Spencer's moans as she brought her mouth down on the other one. "You taste so fucking good, Spencer." She moaned pleasurably while rubbing her cheek against the hard nipple, making Spencer's hips move a little faster against her. Ashley moved her hands up Spencer's body and cupped the back of her head, bring their lips crashing together. Their kiss was deep and sensual, both taking their time to explore each other's mouths. Ashley felt Spencer's hips slow down and broke the kiss. "I love you, Spencer." She murmured nibbling down her jaw and neck. Raising her head, Ashley stared into hooded grey eyes. "I'm going to show you how much," She added pushing Spencer down on her back.

Spencer breathlessly watched Ashley remove her boxer shorts and waited almost impatiently for her to finish, wanting to feel her firm body against her own again. Ashley moved on top of Spencer and both teens moaned as bare breasts pressed tightly against each other. Spencer grabbed a handful of Ashley's hair and pulled her head down. The kiss was raw, urgent, demanding, and full of need and desire that filled both girls. "You feel so good baby." Ashley murmured against her neck. "I love being with you."

Spencer smiled and then gasped when she felt her drenched folds being lightly stroked. "Ashley." She sighed wrapping her arms around a soft tan neck while thrusting her hips, trying to further the contact.

"You feel so good, love." Ashley whispered against her ear. "So wet, soft…" Her words trailed off as she nudged Spencer's legs further apart and shifted her body. Two sets of mouths let out deep languid moans as Ashley's wetness came into contact with Spencer's.

"Oh god, Ashley." Spencer gasped feeling Ashley move her hips against hers.

"You feel so fucking good Spencer." Ashley groaned against the warmth of Spencer's neck. "So good…"

Spencer didn't say anything as she ran her hands down Ashley's back and placed them on Ashley's ass, pulling her deeper against her. They moved together until Ashley pulled away, ignoring Spencer's whimper of protest. "Spread your legs a bit more, love." She whispered. "I want you so fucking bad Spencer."

Spencer felt Ashley's hand slip between their bodies and moaned when she felt Ashley's body move back against her own, her hand exposing more of her sex against Spencer's. The blonde had nothing to compare how good it felt to feel Ashley so fully exposed and against her. It was far too great for words and better than anything she had ever done with Aiden. "Oh, Ashley, it feels so good. Oh god, so good to feel you."

"Mmm." Ashley groaned, moving her hips in sync with Spencer's, the pleasure so immense she knew it wouldn't be long before she came. She lowered herself on her forearms and brought her lips down to Spencer's, wanting to hold back, she slowed her hips down, and sensually kissed Spencer, enjoying every crevice her tongue explored in the blonde's mouth. Ashley broke the kiss when she felt Spencer move urgently against her. She looked down into the grey eyes she loved so much and started moving faster against her. Spencer stared deeply into the brown eyes staring deeply into hers and found herself lost in them.

Their gaze held as both girls felt their hearts beating painfully hard and fast against their chests. Ashley dipped her head and planted several tiny kisses over Spencer's forehead and cheeks before nipping up her jaw and sucking on a soft earlobe. Heavy breathing and the sounds of their bodies moving urgently against each other filled the room as both teens neared their release. Ashley moved her mouth down and sucked hard on the blonde's neck as she felt Spencer thrust harder against her. Crying out, Spencer arched her back, waves crashing through her body, she felt her sex explode and clutched Ashley's back as hard as she could while thrusting harder into the rock star.

Ashley felt Spencer convulse against her and quickly followed just as hard while staring into the blonde's face flushed with ecstasy. Her breath caught as she came, pleasuring pulsating every nerve in her body; her arms gave out and she collapsed, spent, on top of Spencer. Spencer wrapped her arms around the rock star and held her close. "Oh, god." She moaned, glowing. "That was incredible." She said between her pants.

Ashley smiled and lifted her head up. "Hope you're not too tired." She placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "I'm not finished with you yet." She whispered mischievously while kissing down the blonde's body, stopping at her chest to tease both her breasts before continuing down.

Spencer saw where Ashley was headed and held her breath as Ashley's mouth hovered between her legs. "I wonder if you taste as good as you feel." Ashley said huskily while dipping her head, teasing Spencer by kissing and sucking up the insides of her thighs. Ashley parted soaked folds and blissfully ran her tongue from the blonde's opening to her clit, causing Spencer's hips to jerk.

Ashley continued eating the blonde out while feeling two encouraging hands in her hair, pushing her tongue deeper against. Ashley hummed her pleasure as she caressed the outside of the blonde's thighs, loving Spencer's taste. She never ate groupies out but that first night she saw Spencer in her hotel room, she just couldn't help it. She was just too appealing to resist. Ashley's nose nuzzled Spencer's clit as her tongue moved in and out of her, drinking up all of her passion before moving up. Moaning, she wrapped her lips around her clit and sucked the hard bud into her mouth, teasing it with her tongue until she heard Spencer cry out, cum, and beg for her to stop. Ashley kissed her way up Spencer's body and nipped the hollow of her throat before collapsing and wrapping herself around the blonde.

Spencer continued to jerk and tremble as she fought to control her breathing. She looked down and saw Ashley's head on her chest. "I love you." She whispered bringing her hand up to stroke the rock star's hair.

Ashley smiled and kissed the skin under her cheek. "I love you too."

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Ashley was laying flat on top of Spencer with her hands tucked under her torso, legs intertwined, and head resting on her chest, listening to a distant heartbeat. Spencer had fallen asleep hours ago, her breaths deep and even as she slept. Ashley was wide awake, her mind too busy to give into her body's exhaustion and sleep. Cocaine. It was taunting her, running through her mind. She wanted it. Needed it. Her mind was playing tricks on her. She could smell it, taste it, feel it entering her bloodstream, and it made her shudder. God, apart of her just wanted to get out of bed, out of the house, into her car and find a club. A club she was familiar with. A club with dealers. Ashley closed her eyes and tried to focus solely on Spencer. She needed to stop thinking about the cocaine. As much as she wanted it….she just couldn't. Not with her sister and Spencer around. Never with Spencer around.

"Mmm, are you awake?" She heard a sleepy voice grumble.

Ashley picked her head up and moved up Spencer's body. Holding herself up on her forearms, she lowered her head and placed a soft kiss on the groggy blonde's lips. "Did I wake you?" She asked slightly confused. She wasn't making any noise.

Spencer smiled and opened her sleepy eyes fully, moving her hand up to the back of Ashley's neck; she absently played with the hairs on the nape of her neck as she answered. "You're leg was moving the bed."

"It was?" Ashley asked confused. "What do you mean?"

Spencer's smile fell as she looked into Ashley's confused face. "Um, you're leg, I could feel it tremble really bad and it was making the bed vibrate." She paused. "I thought you were doing that on purpose."

Ashley shook her head 'no'. "I wasn't." She smiled sheepishly, but it looked strained to Spencer. "Guess I was just too deep in thought to have noticed."

Now it was Spencer's turn to look confused. "Oh, what were you thinking about?" She held her breath as she waited for Ashley to answer. Was she having second thoughts about being with me? She wondered fearfully.

Ashley thought a moment before flashing Spencer a blinding smile. "Nothing important." She lied not wanting Spencer to know the truth. She knew Spencer would think she was addicted to cocaine if she told her the truth. How the drug was always in the back of her mind. How bad she craved it. How bad she wanted it now. "It's still really late. You should get some more sleep." She whispered placing another kiss on her lips.

Spencer wanted to protest but felt too tired. She nodded her head 'okay' to Ashley and watched her roll out of bed. "Where are you going?" She questioned sleepily.

Ashley looked at her. "Bathroom."

Spencer mumbled 'okay' and let her eyes close shut.

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Ashley entered her large luxurious bathroom and closed the door. "Fuck what's wrong with me." She asked her reflection in the mirror. "You're so fucking restless." She mumbled turning on the water in the sink. Grabbing a small wash cloth, she poured some warm water over it and started scrubbing her face. "God, I need it so bad." She groaned throwing the cloth at the wall, feeling more than frustrated. "Fuck." She hissed wanting to just break something. "I need to get out of here." She reasoned walking out of the bathroom. Looking at Spencer, she was relieved to see her fast asleep. She didn't feel like answering any of the questions she knew Spencer would ask.

Ashley quickly threw on her discarded clothes and quietly walked out of the room. She stared at the door in front of her and wondered if she should check on Kyla and Jason. She doubted they would do anything more than make out in bed, especially with her in the house, but still decided to see what compromising position she would find them in. Opening the door, she peeked inside the dark room and was surprised to see Jason on the floor and Kyla in the bed. With wide brown eyes, Ashley closed the door and walked downstairs. She had no idea what she was going to go do but knew she had to get out.

The salty fresh ocean air felt good on her skin as Ashley walked outside. She walked bare footed through the sand thinking about Spencer. What would her breaking up with Aiden make them? Girlfriends? Ashley almost laughed at the thought. Could she be somebody's girlfriend? Faithful, committed, and kind? Was that her? Ashley sighed and stopped. Looking over at the parking lot she saw two black cars. She knew those cars held her bodyguards so decided to have a little chat with them, wanting to do something, anything, other than think.

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Spencer turned in bed and was surprised to feel a blanket over her naked body. Opening grey eyes, she sat up and looked around for Ashley. The rock star was nowhere to be seen. Spencer sighed and flopped back down on the bed. "It would have been nice to wake with her" She said out loud, looking at the ceiling. "I guess that's just not her style." Spencer didn't like the way that sounded and immediately chastised herself for saying it. "I have to be patient with her." She reasoned while getting out of bed. "She's new to this." She froze momentarily at the thought. New to what? What the hell were they? Spencer groaned as she found some clothes to put on. They were Ashley's but she knew the rock star wouldn't care.

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Ashley sat cross legged on one of the counter tops in the kitchen, drinking a cup of coffee. It was 5 Am and they had to get going soon. She had convinced one of her body guards to go find a grocery store and buy everything she needed on a list she made for him. When he came back Ashley got to work. Expertly cooking a really big breakfast that consumed a lot of her time and mind. But it kept her mind off cocaine and that was the point. Ashley put her cup down and stared at the piles of food scattered around her kitchen. Everything from pancakes to grits filled the room and she chuckled. "God, the people in this house better be hungry."

Spencer stared wide eyed at the food. "Ashley there is enough food in here to feed a small army." She gawked turning surprised grey eyes on Ashley. "What were you thinking while you were making all of this food?" She added playfully walking towards the blushing teen.

"I was thinking breakfast." She answered sheepishly hopping off the counter top. "Hope you're hungry." She said with a hint of seduction in her tone.

Spencer chuckled as she walked to the sink. "Famished after last night's work out and I bet you feel the same." She answered washing her hands. Turning around, Spencer gasped when she found herself stuck between a hard place and Ashley. "I'm starving." Ashley purred running her hands up Spencer's sides, kissing up her jaw. "But not for food." She whispered hotly in her ear.

Ashley grasped the hem of Spencer's shirt, ready to whip it off, and groaned when she heard two sets of feet rush down the stairs. "Well, there goes my appetite." She mumbled moving away from Spencer.

"There'll be other opportunities, love." The nickname just slipped out of her mouth and she was just as surprised as Ashley to hear it flow so easily out of her mouth.

Ashley internally shivered at the name and tried her best not to look as giddy as she felt. "I'm holding you to that."

Spencer just winked and greeted both Kyla and Jason as they walked into the kitchen. "Sup dude." Jason answered heading straight for the pile of omelets.

"Morning Spencer," Kyla replied before walking up to Ashley; she gave her a quick morning hug and eyed all of the food. "Ha ha, awesome Ash," was all she said before heading towards the pancakes.

"Guys sleep well?" Ashley asked against the rim of her coffee cup.

"Yes." Kyla replied.

"No." Jason mumbled giving Kyla a dirty look.

Kyla just rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Ashley. "Thanks for trusting us enough to let us sleep in the same room."

Ashley shrugged, "You guys have been here for the last three days. I'm sure you guys have already done anything you wanted to do by now. Which I hope is nothing."

Jason laughed. "I wish Kyla would do anything." Jason immediately stopped laughing when he met Ashley's cold stare. He cleared his throat. "Uh, I was just kidding."

Ashley just snorted and took another sip of her coffee.

Soon the kitchen filled with endless chatter as everyone but Ashley ate. She watched as her sister, Spencer, and Jason talked about movies, TV, and other things she was completely clueless about. Listening to them, it reminded her of how different she was from her peers. Growing up, she never had a favorite TV show, she didn't watch kiddie movies, and she didn't have a stable best friend. Her childhood was a joke. Only revolving around her guitar playing and media coverage. "You have to call Brenda." She said looking at Kyla, remembering their tight schedule. They were due to leave for New Mexico in a couple of hours and Ashley didn't want to be late, knowing it'd piss everyone off.

Kyla stopped laughing and met Ashley's gaze. "Right now?" She asked whining.

Ashley nodded her head 'yes'. "We have to leave for New Mexico soon." She explained apologetically.

Spencer saw Kyla's face harden and took this as her cue to leave. She looked over at Jason. "Hey, want to come look at Ashley's car with me?"

Jason nodded his head eagerly. "Awsome." He looked over at Ashley. "Can we?"

Ashley fought back an eye roll. "The doors should be already unlocked." She said looking at Spencer, thanking her with her eyes.

Spencer got the message and walked into the garage with Jason.

"You always do this!" Kyla shouted, her frustration and anger filling her tone.

"Do what?" Ashley asked calmly.

"Leave." Kyla hissed rushing out of the kitchen.

Ashley sighed and followed her. "Kyla." She said stopping the 15year old dead in her tracks by the staircase.

Kyla faced her. "What?" She snapped just wanting to go upstairs and pack her things. "I'm grabbing my stuff so you can get rid of me and never have to see me again. That's what you want right?"

Ashley's own frustration got the best of her. "What the fuck is you're problem?" She demanded too worked up to control herself. "You know I hate leaving, you know I would never intentionally want to get rid of you, and you know I love you too much to never want to see you again. Why would you even say that?" She asked softening her tone. Kyla collapsed against the staircase wall and started crying uncontrollably. Ashley was immediately at her side cradling her little sister in her arms, stroking her hair as she asked "What's the matter Ky?"

Kyla cried a little longer before answering. "Mom." She choked out. "She told me I couldn't see or talk to you ever again." She pulled back and looked into Ashley's face with puffy brown eyes. "I left because she wouldn't let me call you or anything. I don't care that you go to strip clubs, Ash. It's not fair what mom's doing."

Ashley looked away from her little sister's tear stained face, feeling ashamed, guilty, and sad. "Brenda's doing the right thing keeping us apart Ky." She admitted sadly. "I'm not a very good influence on you." She admitted standing.

Kyla stared at her with confusion and also stood. "So you have sex. I don't care Ashley that's you're life and people have it all of the time. I don't see why Mom is making a big deal out of that."

Ashley chuckled humorlessly as she turned to face Kyla. "It's not just that Kyla." She swallowed hard. "I do a lot of other bad things too."

"Like what?" Kyla asked slowly, not understanding.

Ashley opened her mouth to answer but then closed it. "I don't want to talk about it." She murmured honestly, her voice pleading.

Kyla just nodded and took a few steps towards her sister. Placing a hand on her upper arm she asked, "It's not anything dangerous right? Like it won't kill you or anything. Will it?"

"You need to call Brenda." Ashley said walking away from Kyla. "Give her directions to the place incase she wants to pick you up." She called over her shoulder, stepping into the kitchen.

The subject change, and Ashley's departure, did not surprise Kyla. She always ran away from her problems, and Kyla knew that. With a heavy sigh, she headed upstairs, intent on finding her cell phone.

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Ashley hugged Kyla a final time and spat her goodbye at Jason.

Kyla looked into her older sister's eyes. "I don't care about the bad things you do, Ash. I still love you always, okay?"

Ashley kissed her forehead. "Thank you. I love you too, always. And you're still welcomed to come here whenever you want." Kyla nodded her head. "Good, I'll see you soon alright?"

"Right."

Brenda sat in the car outside her beach house waiting patiently for Kyla and Jason. Ashley didn't have enough nerve to even glance at her mother as she watched Kyla and Jason walk towards the car. With a heavy sigh, she turned around and walked into her house. "Ready to go?" She asked Spencer who was standing at the kitchen doorway.

Spencer nodded her head 'yes' and they walked towards the rental car.

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Ashley sat on the couch, staring blankly at the TV screen, her hands unconsciously controlled the xbox controller in her grasp but didn't do much justice to the game she was playing. She couldn't focus much on anything. Every pore in her body screamed for cocaine and no matter what she did her cravings wouldn't let up. Sitting next to Glen playing Halo 2, it was still in her mind, her cravings gnawing at her to a point where she couldn't think straight.

"Okay Ashley what's going on?" Glen asked looking at her.

"Huh?" Ashley muttered meeting his gaze. "What do you mean?"

"I killed you like 5 times in a row. The only times I ever beat you is when you're either sleeping or not playing. Something is obviously wrong."

Ashley dropped her controller and stood. "I'm just feeling tired." She lied, not feeling anything other than her body's need for cocaine. "I think I'll go get some sleep or something." She said before facing away from the blonde.

Spencer watched, concerned, as Ashley walked past her and entered the back room. She looked at Clay, who she was playing cards with, and smiled apologetically, "I'm going to go see what's wrong with her." She said standing. "That okay?"

Clay nodded his head 'yes'. "That's fine." He looked over at Glen. "Need someone to play with?"

"Yeah bro." Glen called back.

Spencer turned and headed to the back room.

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Ashley stood in front of the bed pacing back and forth, eyes wild, her body too restless for sleep, it was all she could do to burn off some of her anxious energy. Hearing the door open, her gaze landed on Spencer and with unfocused eyes she watched the blonde step in and close the door.

Spencer turned and yelped in surprise as Ashley pinned her against the door, attacking her mouth. It was different from their past kisses. Raw, brutal, urgent, and it scared her. Spencer moved her head to the side and felt Ashley's assaulting lips on her neck, violently sucking on her fair smooth skin there. "Ashley." She cried out. "Stop it, that hurts."

Ashley visibly flinched at the words and staggered back, moving away from Spencer, she sat on the edge of the bed and buried her head in her hands. So many different emotions ran through her as she tried to catch her breath, bearings, and control. She had to snort softly at that last thought. Control. She had lost all of it. But for some strange reason she couldn't remember when. When her drug use got so bad. At first she had a couple of good reasons for using drugs. The cocaine made her feel good, like superman, making her the life of every party. It also helped her stay awake longer. Now, she had no idea why she continued to use it. She kept telling herself she could stop when ever she wanted but now she wasn't so sure.

"Ashley?"

She heard her name whispered softly and looked up. "I'm so sorry Spencer." She choked out looking into worried grey eyes. "I didn't mean….I…I…couldn't stop….I" Ashley looked away and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "I have to get out of here." She stated abruptly, standing before being gently pushed back down by Spencer. Confused brown eyes looked up and met grey.

"Talk to me Ashley." Spencer said kneeling in front of the rock star, taking her hand. "You're shaking." She said looking down at the trembling hand in her grasp. Looking up she met troubled brown eyes and asked, "Are you scared? Nervous? Talk to me Ashley, please just talk to me." She begged.

"I'm just tired, Spencer." She mumbled, looking away. "Just really tired."

Spencer didn't look totally convinced but didn't push Ashley further. She did look tired. "Then we'll sleep."

Ashley looked like she was going to protest but said nothing as Spencer stood, bringing her up with her; gentle fair hands started to undress her, starting with her shirt and Spencer didn't stop until the rock star stood completely naked in front of her. Looking as vulnerable as a child. "Get in bed, love." Ashley easily complied and got under the covers of their large king size bed; lying on her side she watched Spencer undress and was still taken aback at how perfect the blonde looked naked.

Once completely undressed, Spencer walked over to the other side of the bed and slipped under the covers, spooning against Ashley; she placed one hand on the rock star's abdomen and started gently stroking the skin she found there. She picked her head up and watched brown eyes close, tears streaming down soft tan cheeks; Ashley's whole body soon started trembling from anxiety, from wanting cocaine. Spencer placed a soft kiss on the nape of Ashley's neck and started humming soothingly near her ear. It took some time but Ashley eventually fell asleep. Her body stilled and her breaths were deep and even, relieving Spencer immensely. She had no idea what was wrong with Ashley and that scared her. Nuzzling the soft skin on the rock star's neck, Spencer closed her eyes and also fell asleep.

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Ashley felt the large tour bus pull to a stop and opened her eyes. She had been awake for a while now but didn't feel like getting up. With a deep breath she turned her head and smiled at Spencer's sleeping form. She lied on her back, head facing Ashley as she snored softly. Ashley sat up and brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them; she continued to watch the blonde sleep. _Beautiful _was all that came to mind as she reached out and stroked the flawless skin on Spencer's face. She ran her fingertips over soft pink lips and grinned when she saw them lift into a smile. "Wonderful way to wake up." Spencer said with a chuckle, opening her eyes.

Ashley smiled. "With hands all over your face? Blissful." She teased moving on the bed so she lied on her stomach, her face inches away from Spencer's.

Spencer turned on her side, facing Ashley, and cupped the side of her face. "Feeling better?" She asked gently stroking her cheek with her thumb.

Ashley nodded her head 'yes' "Thank you." She murmured looking down.

"Anytime." Spencer whispered placing a soft kiss on Ashley's lips.

Ashley watched her move back and growled her disagreement while cupping the back of her head; crushing their mouths together; she pushed Spencer on her back and hovered over her, loving the feel of their bare breasts brushing against each other as she lowered her body fully on top of Spencer's. "Now this is a nice way to wake up." Ashley murmured kissing down Spencer's neck.

Spencer ran her hands through Ashley's hair and gasped, "I'm going to do it today. Break up with him."

Ashley stopped and looked up at Spencer. "Are you sure?" She asked moving back up, staring into grey eyes.

Spencer smiled sadly and nodded her head 'yes' "Positive."

Ashley saw the sadness but didn't say anything about it. "Do you want me there with you?" She asked quietly.

"If you don't mind." She whispered knowing it'd be easier with the rock star there. At her side.

"I don't mind." Ashley answered kissing her passionately. Spencer sighed into her mouth and quickly broke the kiss, remembering the no sex rule. "We better get dressed. I think we're at the hotel."

Ashley nodded her head in agreement and followed Spencer out of bed.

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Spencer and Ashley sat at a table outside of a café near the hotel. Ashley smoked a cigarette as Spencer scanned through the café's menu, both teens feeling extremely nervous as they waited for Aiden to join them. Ashley was having mixed feelings about Spencer breaking it off with Aiden. She wasn't so sure it was a good idea the more she thought about. Pops would be extremely pissed, the media would fucking love it, and Ashley would have a girlfriend. For some reason that bothered her. She would be trapped. Right? Brown eyes fell on Spencer, behind dark sunglasses, and she realized it wouldn't be so bad being trapped with Spencer. In fact, she smiled at the thought. But then there was her cocaine use. Would she give that up for Spencer? Ashley took a long drag off her cigarette and knew the answer was 'no'. She needed the drug like she needed air to breathe, live, survive. Ashley took her eyes off Spencer and looked at her cell phone sitting by the napkin holder. Is it fair for Spencer to give up something she loves so much for me when I can't do the same for her? She asked herself.

"Hey guys."

Ashley looked up and saw Aiden approach them. Spencer stood up and hugged him, briefly kissing his lips before sitting back down. Ashley looked into her eyes and saw them lightly tear up. She knew this was hard for the blonde by the somber expression on her face and had to look away. She felt guilty. She was breaking them up. This would have never happened if it wasn't for her. And the sad part was, Ashley knew she wasn't worth any of it.

"Aiden, um, this is really hard for me to do but I think we need to see.."

"More of the world together." Ashley brightly quipped in, cursing herself for doing it. But thinking it was the right thing to do. The fair thing to do. It was enough for her to know Spencer would break Aiden's heart for her but she just couldn't let it happen. Not now. Spencer would always be there if they broke up. Always at her side, watching her every move, seeing her do cocaine, she might try to stop her, and Ashley didn't want that. No. Aiden would occupy some of her time and then she could use. She could have both Spencer and Cocaine while Spencer had both her and Aiden. It worked out perfectly. "I was thinking you and Spencer should do some sight seeing." She told Aiden.

Spencer's head snapped abruptly over to Ashley and her eyes widened. Ashley and Aiden's conversation was a blur to Spencer as she stared incredulously at Ashley. She had no idea why Ashley was doing it. Stopping her from breaking up with Aiden and she didn't know whether to thank the rock star or strangle her. "Ashley." She said, stopping the rock star mid sentence.

Ashley looked over at her, "Yes, Spencer?" She asked evenly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Spencer asked quietly.

"Positive." Ashley murmured standing. She looked over at Aiden. "Show her some of the sites, New Mexico is awesome." She said turning, "Enjoy your afternoon." She called over her shoulder before rushing out of the café, not missing Spencer's worried expression.

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Ashley Ignored the limo's and walked to the hotel. Her mind was filled with nothing but anticipation as she stared at the 5 star hotel they were staying at. Even from the distance she could see the two large tour buses parked in front of the hotel. One of them was Aiden's band's bus. Her lips curled into a smile. She knew Mike hated hotels and usually slept outside on the bus and Mike always had drugs. Mike always had cocaine. With that in mind she started running to the hotel and made it there in minutes. She greeted all the roadies unloading their buses and stepped onto the bus. "Where's Mike?" She asked the band's keyboardist.

"Sleeping in the back." John answered before walking outside.

Ashley walked towards the back room and opened the door. "Mike?" She called out and smiled when his blonde head shot up. "Over here." She said closing the door.

"Ashley." He rolled over on his back and stared groggily at her. "What brings you here?" He asked between yawns.

Ashley shrugged and flopped down on the bed. "I need some party favors." She groaned, "And bad."

"Ooo sounds urgent." Mike said sitting up. "I got just what you need babe." He pointed to the top drawer of his dresser. "In there, I have some good shit." He smiled. "Coke of course."

Ashley was up in a heart beat rummaging through his top drawer and it wasn't long before she found what she was looking for. A small bag of cocaine equipped with a razor blade and rolled up 100 dollar bill. Ashley's hands trembled with anticipation as she swept everything off the top of the dresser and poured some of the cocaine. "Take it easy, Ash." She heard from behind but ignored Mike's voice as she eagerly cut 4 straight lines, all of them quickly disappearing up her nose and into her bloodstream. It was all bliss.

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Spencer and Aiden spent the next hour sight seeing. Spencer enjoyed it very much but couldn't keep her mind off of Ashley and her decision to let her continue being with Aiden.

"Dairy queen." She heard Aiden say and turned her head to meet his gaze. "Want some Ice cream, Spence? It's coming up." He said pointing out the limo's window.

Spencer nodded her head 'yes' and turned away from her boyfriend. She wondered what Ashley was doing.

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"So her boobs were like massive and I was almost afraid I'd lose my fucking head in them," Mike paused to laugh his head off while Ashley did the same. They spent the last hour snorting more cocaine and took a couple of pills while lying in bed, side by side, talking about sex and other perverted things. "So I fucking did her and uh didn't get lost."

Ashley giggled, not really knowing why. She didn't fully comprehend everything Mike was saying, her high was far too intense to do anything more than laugh and talk shit. Rolling on her side, she placed the palm of her hand flat on Mike's bare abs, shivering as her hand came into contact with his warm skin. "So you like big boobies, huh?" She teased with another set of giggles. "Sounds……..allur….lur…ing."

Mike watched Ashley's hand slowly move up and down his stomach and felt a slight stirring in his pants. "Yours are cool too, ya know?" He said huskily, the cocaine making him feel horny.

Ashley stopped her hand and looked up at Mike. She didn't really know, or care, that Mike was moving his head forward, heading towards her lips. Their lips met hungrily as Mike's eager sex drive got the best of him. Ashley was so out of it, she barely remembered her last name, as she allowed Mike to undress her. She didn't really feel much of what was happening and found herself giggling at some of the things she did feel. It never really registered in her mind that she was having sex with Mike, hell it never really registered in her mind that she was having sex at all. She was just numb. Just the way she liked it.

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Ashley shot up from bed, having had a nightmare; her chest was heaving rapidly as she looked around the room trying to catch her bearings. "Mike's room." She murmured looking to her left, her gaze fell on the naked drummer, who slept on his stomach. "Oh no." She whispered looking down at her body. Her eyes widened when she realized she was also naked. "God, kill me." She groaned flopping back down on the bed, her arm falling over her face, she quickly pulled it away when she felt something warm stain her skin. "Blood?" She asked when she saw the small amount of blood on her forearm. Her hand went straight to her nose and she sighed when she felt more blood there. "What else could go wrong?" She asked out loud, starting to get angry. She stood and winced when she felt the soreness between her legs. "Fuck!" She hissed staring bullets at the naked drummer. "How fucking hard did you fuck me?" She asked not expecting an answer; she started collecting her clothes, ignoring her pain as she walked; she walked out the door as soon as she finished dressing and felt tears of frustration and pain well up in her eyes. "I hope he used a condom." She muttered angrily wiping away the tears running down her face. She felt dirty, pathetic, and miserable as she walked into the hotel, needing a bath and some time alone.

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Spencer's cell phone rang as soon as she reentered the limo, Aiden following quickly behind. She looked at her phone and smiled when she saw it was her mother. "Mom," She greeted happily. "How have you been?"

"I've been good, Honey…..well as good as I can be without my Baby," She stated and Spencer could easily picture the evil grin on her face. "How's you're music career thing going? Are you getting bored yet?" She asked hopefully.

"No mom," She chuckled. "In fact Aiden and I just finished visiting some of the best places in Albuquerque, New Mexico."

"Hmm let me guess, they were food places right?" Her mother teased knowingly. Back in Ohio that's where Aiden and Spencer spent a lot of their time, eating out.

"Good guess, and we only had Ice cream and sandwiches. How's Daddy?"

"He's missing you terribly but I won't say more than that since it bothers you." Paula sighed. "Honey when do you come home?"

"It won't be too long from now, Mom. We only have to play a few more shows and then we get a Christmas break. You'll see me then."

"Aiden's coming home too, right?"

Spencer glanced over at him and tapped his shoulder. Aiden turned his head away from the window and faced Spencer. "Ask him yourself." Spencer told her mom before handing the phone to her boyfriend.

Aiden smiled widely. "Mrs. Carlin how have you been?"

Spencer turned her head and stared out the window. She listened to the conversation next to her and wondered how her mother would take their breakup. She knew she was going to eventually break up with Aiden. The idea of dating both Ashley and Aiden bothered her. It made her feel guilty but she would rather deal with the heartbreak breaking up with Aiden would cause than the guilt she was currently feeling.

"Alright, love you too Mrs. C." Aiden chuckled and handed Spencer her phone.

Spencer took it and brought it up to her ear. "Alright Mom, I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Alright honey see you soon."

"Bye Mom."

"Bye."

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Ashley lied on her back in bed staring at the ceiling. She had just taken shower and felt a little better, but not much. Her head hurt, amongst other things, and she still wanted cocaine. She felt like shit and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't remember anything after snorting the 4 lines of cocaine. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and tried hard not to cry. It bothered her that the whole situation made her want to cry. She hated feeling the guilt, shame, and regret but couldn't keep her emotions away. God, should she tell Spencer? No. She wouldn't tell Spencer. That would hurt her and dealing with an upset girlfriend was the last thing Ashley wanted to do right now. "Girlfriend?" Ashley said, smiling for the first time since leaving the tour bus. "Is that what we are?" She wondered hopefully. Ashley opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling fan. She knew she fucked up big time and promised to never mess up again. She was going to be good to Spencer. Because you're supposed to be good to the people you love, right? "Right." Ashley muttered to herself. I'll just use a little longer and then stop. "Just a little longer."

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Spencer stepped out of the limo and looked at her cell phone. She faced Aiden. "I'm going to get ready, Babe. We have two hours before our show." She kissed his lips briefly. "I'll see you after." Aiden just nodded and started walking towards his tour bus as Spencer entered the hotel, eager to see Ashley. She walked into the elevator and pulled out her room key. She smiled, thankful that the hotel was booked to the point where she was forced to share a room with Ashley. "Got to love Christmas time." She said out loud stepping out of the elevator. It wasn't long before she reached the room. Inserting her card, she waited for the light to turn green and stepped inside.

The room was dark, too dark. Spencer searched the wall for a light switch and turned the small hallway light on. Walking deeper into the room, she smiled when her gaze landed on Ashley. She lied under the large comforter staring up at the ceiling. "You look cute when you're thinking." Spencer said with a small grin, matching Ashley's. "Thinking about anyone I know?"

Ashley looked over at Spencer. The blonde was leaning casually against the wall with eyes that stayed glued to hers. "Look in the mirror beautiful and there's your answer." Ashley replied charmingly.

Spencer laughed, blushing. "I bet you say that to all the girls." She teased walking to the small table in the corner of the room; she put her things down and faced Ashley.

Ashley snorted. "Right," she paused. "'want to sleep with a rock star' and 'let me fuck you' is all I say to the other girls." She replied honestly. "Please believe me when I say you're different from them, Spencer."

Spencer smiled and climbed onto the bed. "I believe you Ashley." She said claiming her lips in a tender kiss. Clearing her throat a little, grey eyes stared deeply into brown. "So does this mean you're done with….groupies?" She asked hesitantly.

Ashley smiled at Spencer's embarrassment and nodded her head. "Yes." She answered honestly, not needing anyone other than Spencer. "I'm completely yours Spencer." She added pulling Spencer down for another kiss.

Spencer easily returned it but pulled back before Ashley got too into it. "We have to get ready soon." She murmured getting under the covers and snuggling tightly against Ashley's side. She played with the hem of Ashley's shirt while asking, "Why'd you stop me from breaking up with Aiden?"

Ashley couldn't tell Spencer the whole truth but she did give her a small part of it. "I realized the timing was just really bad. A reporter is going to be joining us soon and I just don't want her bothering you with questions and shit about the break up." She paused. "And it won't only be Madison but the rest of the world too. I just don't want to have to deal with the controversy that would follow you breaking up with Aiden for me. It's just best for you two to stay together until the end of the tour, or at least until our Christmas break is over."

Spencer sighed and nodded. "So I guess that means we're going to have to be extra careful with…..Madison around, right?"

"Right." Ashley replied glumly. "I really didn't want to do this but I guess it won't be so bad. I'm just going to be followed around by a stranger for a few days." She added trying to sound positive but failing miserably.

Spencer felt bad for Ashley. It was obvious she didn't want to do it. "Why'd you agree to this, Ashley? It sounds like you'd rather have your feet cut off than have to deal with someone following you around all day."

"I would." Ashley chuckled, "but I guess that's the name of the game. The fame game. The good comes with the bad in this business and I have to accept them both, whether I like it or not." She answered not telling Spencer about Pops little threat.

Spencer smiled and added brightly, "Well then let's just hope this reporter doesn't get too caught up in her work. I can barely handle the idea of not being able to touch you during the day so she's dead if she tries to take away my touching privileges at night too."

Ashley sighed dreadfully. "Sorry Spencer but when she's here we can't sleep in the same room. It just wouldn't look good. Everyone already knows I'm gay and we're a little too old to be having innocent sleepovers."

Spencer picked her head up and met sorry brown eyes. "You're not joking." She groaned burying her head against Ashley's neck. "Just for a few days, right?"

"Right." Ashley reassured gently stroking her hair.

"And when do we get to meet this Madison…."

"Duarte. And I have no idea when all of this starts." She mused out loud. "My guess is soon since we're almost out of shows to play."

"Good guess." Spencer chuckled. "So where do we go after New Mexico?" She asked curiously.

"Back to L.A. for the movie premiere." Ashley groaned not really wanting to go.

Spencer's head shot up. "Movie premiere?"

Ashley looked at her, surprised. "Didn't Pops tell you about it?" Spencer shook her head no. "Well we did this song for that new horror movie coming out, I think it's called 'Caged', and we get to go to the premiere."

"Wow." Spencer said smiling. "Do I get to go to?" She asked slowly.

Ashley nodded her head yes.

Spencer laughed and soundly kissed the rock star on her lips. "How cool is this?" She asked excitedly. "Will there be any celebrities there?" She added quickly.

Ashley was a bit taken aback by the blonde's excitement and it really hit her for the first time how new the whole fame thing was to Spencer. For Ashley seeing celebrities and going to their houses for parties and stuff was just life. But for Spencer it was actually something to look forward to. "There should be." She teased smiling. "It's going to be fun." She added sitting up to kiss Spencer a final time. "Now, we really should be getting ready," She kissed her again. "We have a show to do."

"Right." Spencer agreed following Ashley out of bed.

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Fully dressed Spencer and Ashley stepped out of their hotel room and headed downstairs to meet the rest of the band. "Hey I have to get something from Mike real quick." Ashley told Spencer after they stepped out of the elevator.

Spencer met brown eyes and bit her tongue from asking 'what'. She knew Mike was nothing but bad news. Only caring about himself, sex, drugs, and alcohol. "Okay." She muttered wanting to kiss Ashley but couldn't since the lobby was crowded.

"Meet you at the show. Tell Pops I'm catching a ride with Mike." Ashley told her before heading out of the hotel.

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Ashley stepped onto the tour bus and looked around. It was empty. She assumed everyone was already at the show and decided to show herself to the back room. Entering the room, she was surprised to find Mike there. "Hey." She said quietly, wondering if he remembered anything they did.

"Oh hey." He replied casually. "What's up?"

"I need more coke." She stated bluntly.

"Whatever." He said smiling. "I don't give a shit Ash. What's mine is yours."

Ashley smiled back. "Ditto."

She quickly walked to the dresser and got out the cocaine. Expertly, she cut up 3 lines and snorted them. She let the cocaine sink in a bit before facing Mike. "How are you getting to the show?" She asked wiping her nose, forgetting about the sex they had earlier.

"I have a rental." He stated proudly. "Need a ride?" He offered holding up the keys.

"Sounds good." She replied following him off the tour bus, feeling good. Feeling nothing.

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Ashley sat reclined back in the passenger seat drinking a beer while listening to the car radio. She couldn't stop herself from singing along to the provocative rap lyrics blaring from the speakers. "And I probably got your girlfriend on my bus, what happens on my bus stays on my bus," Ashley took another sip of her beer, laughing as she continued to sing. "I'm tryin to make a porno starring us,well not just us, a couple foreign sluts," She turned the music down and faced Mike. "That is so myyyyyyyy fucking song." She said throwing her empty beer can in the back seat. "Lil Wayne is so fucking hot," She ranted. "Probably the only dude I'd ever fuck." She grinned. "Sober."

Mike shifted a little uncomfortable in his seat. Waking up, he remembered everything he had done with Ashley and felt…..good. But that was then. Now he felt guilty. He gave Ashley the pills knowing she wouldn't stop him from sleeping with her but didn't expect her to remember what they had done, but that last remark told him she must remember something. He quickly glanced over at her and saw how happy? Okay high she looked and sighed his relief. At least she was too high to kick his ass. "Okay Ash. Maybe we can make it a three way?" He joked.

Ashley looked down and grabbed another beer from the six pack of Heineken sitting by her feet. "I don't think Spencer would like that." She mumbled opening her can.

"Spencer?" Mike asked puzzled.

"Ooops." Ashley said against the rim of her beer can. She took a large swallow. "I shouldn't have said that."

"Is there something you're not telling me?" He asked looking over at her.

Ashley met his gaze. "You tell me. Did you intentionally drug me for a quick fuck?" She asked coolly.

Mike looked back at the road. "You drugged yourself, Ash." He answered with a shrug. "What happened after that was a mistake." He sighed. I guess she's not that high. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." She smiled. "But I'll kill you if you got me pregnant." She teased trying to lighten the mood.

Mike laughed. "Okay but as a last request I would want the baby named after me."

Ashley thought a moment. "Deal. I'll give him your middle name, Francis."

"Ewwwwww." Mike exclaimed thoroughly disgusted.

Ashley drank more of her beer and turned up the radio.

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Pulling into the concert hall, Ashley got out of the car and staggered to her father's limo, joining the rest of the band. "Rachael I need to know one thing." She smiled. "Where the hell am I sleeping tonight?"

"Um, well Ms. Davies we're not leaving to LA until tomorrow so you should be sleeping in the hotel."

"Cool." She said turning to walk into the building. Mike was soon at her side, grinning. "I forgot to ask you if you wanted to hit this club with me after the show. It's guaranteed to have tons of babes, booze, and everything else we like. What do you say?"

"I'm there." Ashley answered quickly. In her state of intoxication, she didn't want to miss out on a good party.

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The show was over and all Ashley could think of was the party. She couldn't wait to get her hands on more cocaine. God, how she had been craving it the past two hours. She looked to her left and was glad to find Aiden there. Quickly making her way towards him, she grabbed his hand and led him to a more private place backstage. "I think you should do something special for Spencer tonight." She suggested not wanting Spencer to be worried about her. "I think maybe you guys should get something to eat and then make love all night long." She added with a wide grin.

Aiden blinked in surprise. "Did she put you up to this?" He asked, finding everything Ashley was saying out of character.

"Yes." Ashley lied. "She thinks you guys aren't spending enough 'quality' time together. You should really fix that." She added smugly. "I wouldn't let my girlfriend feel….unsatisfied, much less keep her that way."

Aiden looked over his shoulder and his gaze landed on Spencer. She stood in a dark corner talking to Rachael. He looked back at Ashley. "She really said that?" As Ashley's head noded he sighed. "I guess I have to do something then." He thought a moment. "What are you doing tonight?"

"I'm about to hit a party with Mike."

"So you won't be in your room tonight?" He asked hopefully, knowing Spencer and her were sharing a room.

"I will be in my room. Fucking." She answered bluntly. "And that's why Spencer has to be with you. In **your** room. Can you manage that?"

"Yes –"

"Good then I'll see you when I see you." She said walking towards the exit.

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Aiden turned around and walked towards Spencer with a casual smile on his face. "So Spencer I was wondering if you'd like to do something with me tonight." He proposed taking both Spencer's hands in his. "Just the two of us for the night? What do you say?"

"I don't know." She answered apologetically. "I had plans with Ashley tonight."

"Oh well she must have changed them." Aiden closed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug. "She went off with Mike," He kissed the soft skin under her ear. "So it's just you and me tonight." He whispered huskily.

Spencer pulled back quickly. "She went off with Mike?" She asked fearfully.

"Uhhh yeah." Aiden answered with a questioning look. "Is there something wrong?"

"Yes. Mike is a moron and will make Ashley do stupid things."

Aiden took a step back from Spencer. "Like what?"

"Drugs." Spencer ran a hand through her long blonde hair. "And other things I don't even want to think of right now."

Aiden scratched the back of his neck before sighing heavily. "Why do you care so much about what Ashley does? It's her life."

"Don't talk to me." Spencer snapped walking angrily away from her boyfriend. It really pissed her off how nobody cared about Ashley's deadly drug use.

"Spencer what's wrong?" Aiden asked walking beside her.

Spencer didn't say anything as she made her way to the meet and greet table.

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Ashley watched hundreds of people dance provocatively on the dance floor. She had finished a couple of lines of cocaine and didn't feel any of her body's exhaustion as she sat in the VIP section of the club. Around her sat Mike and a couple of other people she knew from parties and other big social events. They weren't celebrities but they were still very rich and Ashley couldn't help but smile as Farah, the daughter of a well known wealthy lawyer, took a seat next to her; placing her hand on the inside of her thigh. "Ashley it's been awhile." She spoke into Ashley's ear while moving her hand up to rest on her stomach. "I've missed you." She husked nibbling on her earlobe.

Ashley seemed unfazed by the blonde's advances, but continued to let her tease her body anyway. She felt kisses being placed along her jaw and turned her head to stare into desire filled green eyes. Her eyes slightly narrowed when she felt a hand on her jean zipper. "Don't undress me." She told the blonde before moving her hand away. "I call the shots here." She reminded cupping the side of her face. She kissed Farah hungrily and moved her onto her lap, straddling her thigh. Ashley moved her head away as Farah kissed down her neck. She wasn't affected in any kind of way by the way Farah moaned against her neck while cupping her breast through her shirt. She didn't feel anything at all but still continued playing with Farah. She placed her hands on the blonde's waist moving her harder against her thigh. It wasn't long before she exploded against the rock star and Ashley wasted no time getting up from under the spent blonde. She walked unsteadily to the luxurious coffee table sitting in the middle of the room and took someone's drink while swallowing down a couple of pills she found. Looking around the room, she watched everyone with unfocused eyes and realized they were all fucking.

She ran a hand through her short hair as she walked back over to Farah. Taking a seat next to the blonde, Ashley leaned over and purred in her ear, "Want some more, Baby?"

Farah's response was to pull the rock star into a hungry kiss.

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Spencer watched Aiden sleep and felt awful. After the meet and greet they went out to eat and all Spencer could think of was Ashley. She had no idea where the rock star was and barely kept herself from getting out her cell phone and calling her. She just hoped Ashley was back in their hotel room sleeping soundly but highly doubted it. With a silent groan, she looked away from her boyfriend and stared out the window. "Please just be sleeping Ashley," She murmured not being able to stand the thought of Ashley with another girl. "Alone."

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"Strawberries?" The scent of strawberries filled her senses as she inhaled deeply. Brown eyes opened and instead of finding strawberries she found disheveled blonde hair. Ashley turned her head away, the smell making her nauseous, and narrowed her eyes at the young man sitting in the corner of the room. "What the fuck do you want?" She asked not liking the look on his face.

"Well a faithful fiancé would be nice." He stated staring murderously at the blonde in Ashley's arms.

Ashley looked to where he was staring and her gaze landed on Farah's naked form. She abruptly sat up and looked around the room. It was very nice, way too nice to be her hotel room. "Fuck." She muttered looking at the guy. "Where am I?"

"In my Fiancé's bedroom. In her bed. Er, naked." He answered standing, his arms folding over his chest.

Ashley looked down at herself and realized she was naked but didn't care as she stood, searching for her clothes. Her head hurt, her body ached, and she wasn't feeling up to listening to Farah and her fiancé argue. "Ashley?"

Ashley turned around at hearing her name and met sleepy green eyes. "I have to go." She said looking at the incredibly tall and angry man standing a few feet away from her.

Farah looked to where Ashley was staring and smiled at her fiancé. "Good morning Baby." She said with a taunting smile.

Ashley took this as her cue to leave. Turning around, she started towards the door but froze when she heard Farah say, "Ashley loves me, John. It's over." Ashley rolled her eyes and turned back around, facing the two.

"I hope you're not talking about me." She stated, annoyed.

Farah met Ashley's gaze and smiled. "You told me you loved me last night after we made love." Her smile widened. "Oh Ashley hearing those words made my heart sore. I've had the biggest crush on you since we met 12 years ago."

"When we were 5?" She asked outrageously. Farah nodded her head enthusiastically. "Sorry Farah but I don't even remember last night." She ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "And whatever I told you was a lie. I have to go now." She said turning back around, ignoring Farah's tears and John's yelling as she walked out the door.

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Ashley was worried standing by the tour bus waiting for the rest of the band to meet her. She felt like shit physically and mentally but mostly mentally. The promise she made to herself to never mess up again was obviously messed up and that upset Ashley more than anything. She didn't know if she should tell Spencer or not. Well, she didn't know if she could tell Spencer. She didn't remember anything past playing the show. Everything after that was a blur at best. "What a mess." She mumbled to herself.

"Do I want to know?" Pops asked staring at his miserable daughter.

Ashley met his gaze with a frown. "No, do you need something?" She asked impatiently.

"Yes I do." He answered closing the distance between them. "Everyone is at the airport." He said handing her a plane ticket. "I had Rachael text all of you to tell you but you obviously didn't get the message." He looked at his wristwatch. "You're an hour late." He added grimly.

"Sorry." She mumbled not in the mood for a fight. "Did I miss the plane?" She asked taking the plane ticket being offered to her.

"No, thank God. It leaves in an hour. There's a limo waiting for us. Let's go."

Ashley didn't say anything as she followed Pops to the limo.

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It was always the same chaotic environment in every airport they've been to. The airport was crowded, nosy, and it bothered Ashley as she shoved her way to her gate. She had spent the last twenty minutes taking pictures and signing autographs outside the large airport and she prayed she wouldn't have to do it again inside anytime too. She normally didn't mind stopping to do something for the fans but today was different. Her head and the rest of her body ached, putting her in a very bad mood, but she promised herself she wouldn't take out any of her misery on the other band members, like she normally did, or the fans. Ashley sighed as her gaze landed on the rest of the band. It was times like these that made her wish she could disappear under a rock and simply vanish. Grey eyes looked up and met her sunglass covered brown as Ashley made her way to the blonde. She took a seat next to Spencer and briefly nodded 'hello' to Glen and Clay before facing her again. "Hey." She greeted casually trying not to sound as guilty as she felt. Sleeping with Mike and Farah was killing her but she wasn't going to burden Spencer with it. Keeping it bottled up inside was way safer for their relationship. She couldn't risk losing Spencer. Not now. Not ever.

Spencer looked at Ashley, wanting answers, but decided to question the rock star later. Now, she was just going to appreciate Ashley being with her and forget about what she might have done the night before with Mike. "Hey." She replied softly. "Did you sleep in? You got here pretty late."

Ashley shifted a bit in her seat and looked down at her shoes. "Something like that." She mumbled fidgeting with her hands, wishing she had taken something, anything, to make her feel confident enough to lie more convincingly.

Spencer watched Ashley and was concerned about her body language. She seemed nervous and very tense. "There's a café nearby." Ashley looked up at her, "Want to go get some coffee with me?" Spencer wasn't a big coffee fan but she knew Ashley liked it and hoped it would relax her a little.

Ashley smiled for the first time that day and nodded her head 'yes' eagerly at the thought of coffee. "You don't have to ask me twice." She answered standing. Looking down at the blonde, Ashley offered Spencer her hand and helped her up. "Um….do you mind if we hold hands the whole way there?" She asked shyly staring at their interlocked fingers.

Spencer smiled softly at the blushing teen and was reminded how new all of this was to Ashley. The whole relationship thing, but she was glad Ashley was trying to be a good partner. So far she hasn't done anything to make Spencer think she wasn't a good girlfriend, except maybe her drug use, but Spencer understood that that would take a lot of time and patience to overcome and she was more than ready to help Ashley defeat her demons. "I don't mind Ashley." She answered reassuringly walking along side her. "So what should we get Roscoe?" She asked loud enough for the tall body guard walking behind them to hear.

Ashley snorted. "A life." She teased looking over her shoulder at him. "Want some coffee big fellow?"

"No thank you, Ms. Davies."

Ashley turned her head and her gaze landed on the small café. It was crowded and Ashley realized getting and keeping a table might be a problem. She looked at Spencer. "Grab us a table and I'll get the coffee. How do you drink yours?"

"Just make sure it's really really sweet."

Ashley nodded her head 'okay' and then walked quietly to the line.

Spencer looked around and walked towards the first empty table she saw. Taking her seat, she pulled out her cell phone and started checking her messages. Most of them were from family and friends back in Ohio asking her to please call them back, wanting to know how she was doing, those were the pleasant ones that made her smile. The not so pleasant ones were the ones from relatives she's never even heard of asking for money and all sorts of crazy expensive material things. Spencer simply deleted those, knowing they were all bullshit scams, and quickly dialed the number for the hospital her mother worked at. Waiting for someone to answer, Spencer looked over at Ashley and was surprise to see a large group of people surrounding her with napkins and some cameras, obviously wanting an autograph and picture from her, and for a moment she was worried they'd get kicked out, that thought quickly vanished when she saw the manager, and some of the other workers, getting out their cameras and napkins behind the counter.

"Mount Carmel Hospital this is Linda speaking how may I help you?"

"Hello, I'm looking for Paula Carlin, is she available?"

"Let me see, please hold a minute."

Ashley arrived at the table and mouthed 'sorry' as she took a seat and handed Spencer her coffee and a large cinnamon roll.

'Don't be.' Spencer mouthed back staring hungrily at the sweet.

"Hello, this is Paula Carlin."

Spencer tore a small chunk off her cinnamon roll and popped it into her mouth. "Yeah Mom, you told me to call you ASAP, what's up?"

"Oh Honey its Caitlyn. She's back in the hospital." Her mother sighed heavily. "She wanted to talk to you yesterday but you weren't answering. I told her you'd call today."

Ashley watched Spencer's facial expression carefully as she took a sip of her coffee. Her grey eyes were starting to tear up as they stared blankly down at the food and Spencer's lips were lined into a frown. This worried Ashley immensely and she did the only thing she could think of at that moment. She took Spencer's free hand into hers and gave it a light squeeze, showing the blonde she was there for her. Ashley assumed it worked when Spencer looked up and smiled at her. It was kind of weak but better than the frown she had on before.

"I'll talk to her mom." Spencer said running the pad of her thumb over the back of Ashley's hand.

"Okay, I'll give her my cell phone and have her call you."

"Alright Mom, love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

Spencer closed her phone and placed it on the table. Caitlyn was her 8 year old cousin who was diagnosed with Leukemia at the age of 5. Spencer and Caitlyn had always been close, despite the large age difference, and she was never Spencer's cousin but her little sister, having lived with Carlin's for over two years when her mother was sent away to prison for selling drugs with her boyfriend. It was very hard on the whole family when they discovered how sick the little girl was. She was always in and out of the hospital and her chances of beating the cancer weren't good at all.

Ashley removed her sunglasses and gazed openly at Spencer. She was really worried but didn't say anything. She knew Spencer was a very open person and if she wasn't saying anything on her own than she wasn't going to say anything at all. It was always the same thing with Spencer. She'll talk when she's ready to talk but Ashley was starting to get impatient. How could I help Spencer if I don't know what the problem is? Ashley looked away and continued drinking her coffee. She wasn't going to pry. Like a good girlfriend, she was going to wait patiently until Spencer was ready to talk and then help her with whatever problem she had.

Spencer's phone rang and Ashley was surprised to hear a child's voice on the other end of the line. That really threw her off. She thought maybe Spencer looked upset because she didn't want to talk to whoever her mother wanted her to talk to but that obviously wasn't the case at all. Spencer sat next to her smiling, laughing, joking and then Ashley heard a bit of sadness in her voice and watched tears spill out of grey eyes. She could hear a loud series of violent coughs blaring through Spencer's cell phone and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the kid was sick. Ashley just didn't how sick but assumed it was bad by the way Spencer was crying. Hell, she didn't even know the kid and she felt a light stinging behind her eyes from hearing how she sounded.

"NOW BOARDING FLIGHT 1225 TO LOS ANGELES AT GATE F."

"That's us." Ashley mumbled standing.

"Caitlyn I have to go now, they called my flight…..okay sweetheart, love you too." Spencer closed her phone and also stood. She quickly wiped the tears off her face and shoved her phone back in her purse. Ashley stood holding both their coffees and Spencer's cinnamon roll.

"You can eat the rest on the plane." She said handing Spencer the large sweet treat.

Spencer took the cinnamon roll and they walked silently towards the gate.

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Spencer looked over at Ashley and kissed her lips lightly as she snored softly beside her. The plane was completely empty, except for the two flight attendants on board, and Spencer was glad the chaos was finally over. Everyone was out of their seats and into the aisle the second the plane landed and Spencer couldn't believe how crazy things got. Two men started fighting after one of them accidently shoved into the other and a woman was thrown to the floor and stampeded over. Spencer was not stupid enough to get up and purposely get into the aisle. Like the smart woman she was, she chose to stay in her seat and wait until the plane was completely empty before getting up walking out peacefully with Ashley.

Spencer gently shook Ashley's shoulder while whispering her name. Ashley immediately stirred and looked groggily at her. "What's wrong?" She asked sitting up and looking around. The first thing she noticed was the empty airplane and it was a relieving sight. She hated the chaos that followed the plane's landing.

"Sleep well?" Spencer asked the stretching teen.

Ashley moved her neck around as she answered. "As well as I could on these crappy seats." She stood in sync with Spencer. "I swear the first class seats are so worth the money you pay for the tickets."

Spencer stood next to Ashley as the rock star got her purse out of the small compartment above the aisle. "Why don't we fly first class? It's not like you guys can't afford it, right?"

Ashley handed Spencer her purse. "The only time we buy first class tickets is when we fly out of the country." They started walking towards the exit. "Most of our plane rides don't last more than a couple of hours so Pops doesn't see the point in flying first class all of the time."

"Well that makes sense." She mused out loud.

"Yeah I guess my Dad isn't as dumb as he looks." Ashley smiled but it was somewhat forced.

Spencer looked over at Ashley and shook her head in disagreement. She thought Raife was the dumbest person in the world for not loving Ashley.

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Spencer was standing in front of the large bathroom mirror doing her makeup when Ashley walked in, looking very much like the rock star she was. She wore tight black leather pants with a black studded belt, a white designer t shirt covered by a black leather vest, and matching black/white converse shoes. "Oh my," she stated staring at Spencer's ass through the little black dress she wore. It stopped about mid thigh and clung onto all of Spencer's curves nicely. "I think we should stay here and have the premiere in bed." She suggested wiggling her eyebrows.

Spencer quickly glanced at the rock star and nearly poked her eye out with the mascara brush. "What are you wearing?" She asked fully facing the rock star, mouth watering. She had never seen anyone look so good in leather and it took all of her self control to keep from completely ravishing Ashley.

Ashley saw the desire filled gaze being sent her way and wondered if Spencer would take her up on her offer. "So what do you say?" She asked watching Spencer walk towards her. "Want to skip the show?"

"No." Spencer chuckled while placing her hands on Ashley's shoulders. She loved the way the leather felt under her skin and couldn't stop her hands from exploring. "We're not missing this premiere because you're horny, Ashley." She added running her hands over the rock star's breasts.

Ashley stared wide eyed at Spencer's hands and laughed. "You're not helping my situation."

Spencer blushed and quickly removed her hands from the rock star's body. "Sorry." She mumbled facing the mirror again. "I don't know how we're going to get through this thing without molesting each other." She commented with a saucy smile.

"No kidding." Ashley replied tilting her head a bit to get a better look up Spencer's dress.

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The limo ride was both stressful and exhilarating for everyone in the large stretch escalade. They were running late, due to the busy LA traffic, and Ashley couldn't stop herself from rummaging through the limo's mini bar for a couple of drinks. She wasn't the only one drinking of course. Pops was on his fourth drink half way to the premiere and Ashley was not surprised to see even Rachael with a drink. Everyone was just stressed, well not everyone. Spencer couldn't have been happier. She was on her way to a movie premiere! And from what she had heard it was going to be big. It was another huge success from the people who made all of the 'Saw' movies and Spencer was just thrilled to be apart of it.

"You ready, Spencer?" Ashley asked facing the giddy blonde. "We're almost there." She added against the rim of her third drink.

Spencer turned head and eyed the glass of wine in Ashley's hand suspiciously before meeting the rock star's sunglasses. "Can hardly wait. How many of those have you had anyway?" She asked curiously. She remembered seeing Ashley grab a glass when they first entered the large limo but wasn't paying any attention after that.

"Not that many." Ashley mumbled placing her empty glass on the floor. "Believe me, I can still walk and form coherent sentences." She leaned in close to Spencer's ear, her lips barely grazing her fair skin as she whispered, "I wish I could show you how coherent I am at the moment." She moved away and took in Spencer's newly flushed features with a cocky smile. "I bet you wouldn't stop me." She murmured running her fingertips up and down Spencer's thigh.

Spencer felt suddenly warm and nearly thanked God when she felt the limo pull to a stop. Another second in the limo next to Ashley and she wouldn't have cared who was in the limo with them when she gave the rock star the okay to completely ravish her. It sounded completely absurd but she couldn't help the large amount of lust running through. "We're here." Spencer whispered watching Ashley pull her hand away. She felt both relieved and disappointed from losing Ashley's touch but quickly chastised herself for feeling that way. She should be focusing more on the movie premiere and less on her active libido. With that in mind, she watched the driver open the door and followed everyone out.

Spencer stopped breathing for a second. There were paparazzi, news reporters, and excited fans everywhere; screaming out every band members name, including Spencer's and screaming out questions and demands. She had no idea where to go or what to do. "Ashley?" She whispered catching up to the rock star.

Ashley looked at her. "What's wrong?" She asked quietly, ignoring the girls screaming hysterically for her.

Spencer all of a sudden felt silly for bothering Ashley but still answered honestly. "I don't know what I should be doing."

"It's really simple." Ashley said gently. "Just walk up the red carpet, pose for some of these photographers and talk to some of the reporters. Oh and sign a few autographs." At Spencer's unsure nod Ashley took her hand and they began walking up the red carpet, stopping occasionally for pictures, reporters and autograph signings. After Spencer ensured Ashley she knew what to do now; Ashley wondered off and did her own thing. She talked to some more people, posed for a couple of pictures, and talked with fans for a bit before walking inside the large cinema.

There were a lot of people inside already, most of them were celebrities she kind of knew and others were celebrities she's never heard of, but she decided to change that by mingling a bit. Ashley strolled casually to the bar and grabbed another glass of wine before walking up to strangers and introducing herself. It was always the same thing with celebrities. They introduce themselves to each other, say they're a big fan of whatever movie or CD they played in, and then have a very brief conversation about the things going on in Hollywood. After a couple of more chats with different actors from the movie, Ashley grabbed another drink and decided to find a seat and wait patiently for the movie to start. Looking around she realized she wasn't the only one waiting. Half of the theatre's seats were filled with actors, fans, and other people and Ashley was surprised to see Spencer standing in the door way talking to Scott Gerald, the main character in the horror film. He was extremely handsome with short blonde hair and dark blue eyes, tall, and from the way Spencer was laughing Ashley assumed he was funny too. She looked away from the two blondes and stared at the large blank screen in front of her, downing the rest of her drink in one swallow.

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Spencer was surprised how kind and sweet Scott Gerald was. She assumed most people in Hollywood were stuck up assholes, but that wasn't the case at all. He looked a lot like Chad Michael Murray and a younger Brad Pitt combined, making him the 2nd yummiest eye candy in the room. Of course she thought the first was Ashley. Thinking of Ashley, Spencer turned her head and saw the rock star sitting down, talking to Cindy Newman, the lead lady in the movie. She was very pretty with a well toned body and wavy blonde hair but that obviously didn't matter to Ashley since she looked really bored and kind of agitated. Spencer decided she was going to wrap her conversation up with Scott and go rescue her lover. Grey eyes turned to meet dark blue.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Scott smiled. "Yes, I was wondering if you were going to the after party."

Spencer answered with her eyes on Ashley. "I'm not sure." She answered watching Ashley give Cindy the 'okay' to sit next to her. Feeling slightly bothered she looked back into Scott's eyes, wondering why it bothered her so much that Ashley allowed Cindy to sit next to her. And then it hit her. She was jealous. It was a shocking revelation since she had never had a jealousy problem with Aiden. Why was it different with Ashley? "But if I'm there I'll find you and we can talk some more."

"Sounds like a plan." He looked down at his expensive wrist watch. "The movie is going to start soon anyway, see you later?"

"Count on it." She answered giving him a brief kiss on the cheek. With a last smile she turned away and left.

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"So that's how they shot the sex scene." Cindy finished with a nervous chuckle. At this point she was slightly frustrated. It seemed like the more she talked the more aggravated Ashley looked. God, what more could a rock star want! Wait, she thought a moment. Sex! She wondered why she never thought of it before. Shifting in her seat a bit, she puffed out her chest a little bit and stared seductively into Ashley's eyes. "Now, enough about me. Lets talk about you." She placed her hand on Ashley's knee and ignored how rigid her body went. "How do you perform your sex scenes?"

Ashley was shocked speechless. One minute Cindy was as sweet, and boring, as an angel and then the next she wants to talk about sex, well real sex. "Um…I don't.."

"Now now Ashley, you're a rock star. You're used to women touching you all over, right?" She purred while giving Ashley's leg a light squeeze.

Ashley swallowed hard and quickly stood up. It had to be the liquors fault for how turned on this woman was making her. God, now she really wished she could have talked Spencer into staying at the hotel because now It was going to be a LONG night. "I don't think you want me sleeping with you." She said with an almost cold smile. "I'm not fun company after playtime."

Cindy also stood while pulling out a card from her purse, "I know." She gave Ashley the card with her name and phone number printed on the front. "My best friend is Alicia Moore." She smiled as recognition fell over Ashley's face. Alicia Moore, like so many other rich women out there, was one of Ashley's fuck buddies. Rich, beautiful, and powerful she was just another Ashley, spending her free time treating groupies like shit and partying her life away. "She told me about your little three way and I am very familiar with your behavior after sex." She paused. "Well after groupie sex, and I am not a groupie. But I do love a good one night stand, no strings attached, my favorite words." Ashley opened her mouth to speak but was silenced by a finger over her lips. "If you're interested I'll be at the party." And with those words Cindy turned and left, leaving Ashley very confused and staring into puzzled grey eyes.

Spencer watched Cindy leave and couldn't help but hate the blonde. Why couldn't girls just leave Ashley alone? She internally groaned while walking to the seat Cindy had previously sat in. With a heavy sigh, she took a seat and stared up at Ashley. She looked so deep in thought and it bothered Spencer. She had been standing on the side, waiting for the two to finish talking, and had heard their whole conversation. "Please don't tell me you're actually considering her offer." She said unable to keep the anger out of her voice. Ashley looked at her but didn't say anything. She was too shocked to do anything more than stare dumbly at Spencer. She actually sounded……jealous. And she had no idea how to deal with a jealous woman. Spencer snorted at Ashley's silence, "Maybe you two can get together after the party and have yourselves another three way," She looked down at her hands. "Would you like that Ashley?"

Ashley frowned, her shock quickly turning to anger, fueled by Spencer's attitude. She was usually a very loving drunk, unless someone pissed her off. She wasn't as drunk as she'd like to be but the drinks she had earlier were enough to have a nice buzz going through her. "What's your problem, Spencer?" She asked carefully taking the seat next to the blonde. Despite her alcohol intake, she wasn't going to let her anger get the best of her. Not with Spencer. "You sound…..mad."

Spencer sat back in her seat and met Ashley's gaze. "Well what do expect Ashley? A girl just gave you the invite to fuck her and you didn't answer 'no'. I am definitely not going to be happy for you." She explained lowering her voice. She didn't want to make a scene and embarrass both her and Ashley but she wasn't about to let this go either. Not like she did the night before when Ashley went out with Mike. No, they were going to face this problem head on. "I guess you were lying when you said you were completely mine." she added sadly.

Ashley took Spencer's hand and silently stood. Without saying a word, she led the two out the theatre's emergency exit and was relieved when the alarm didn't go off. Once outside she let go of Spencer's hand.

Spencer watched Ashley half confused and concerned, mostly concerned. Ashley's face was filled with anguish and her eyes were pleading as they stared into hers. "This is all new for me Spencer." She started moving her gaze down to floor. "I've never loved or been loved like this before. My father hates me and I disgust my Mother. I've never stayed anywhere long enough to even think about having a girlfriend and even if I had my lifestyle wouldn't allow me to fully trust the girl." She looked up and met Spencer's eyes. "The point is I don't know how to love anyone and I don't want to lose you. But you can't expect me to change over night….I just need time, alright?" She pulled Spencer into a loving embrace and nuzzled her nose in her hair. "I want to make you so very happy Spencer but I don't know how to be a good girlfriend yet."

Spencer pulled back and stared into Ashley's eyes. "I'm sorry I went off on you Ashley, and you already are a good girlfriend." She kissed her lips gently and rested her forehead against hers. "I'll give you all of the time in the world because I understand this is as much of a learning experience for you as it is for me." She smiled a little. "Not even in my wildest dreams did I think I'd ever end up with another girl." Spencer kissed her again. "But I feel so close to you, Ash. I love you so much it hurts sometimes." She kissed her again but longer and deeper this time, leaving them both breathless.

"We can leave now and forget about this movie thing." She suggested seductively.

"Come on you." Spencer chuckled leading them both back inside.

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Ashley sat quietly watching the 'scary' movie. It wasn't that bad, besides it being more stupid than scary, but Ashley felt she was alone in her opinion. Looking around the room, she saw nothing but fascination and fear on a lot of other people's faces, especially Spencer's. The blonde sat next to her, holding her hand in a death grip, but Ashley didn't mind. It was kind of entertaining watching Spencer watch a scary movie. A lot more entertaining than watching the movie itself. Ashley chuckled softly.

Spencer looked over at her. "You think seeing that psycho rip Cindy's nose off is funny?" She whispered incredulously. But then she thought about it and laughed too. "I swear this is my new favorite movie." She added turning her attention back to the screen. Ashley agreed and also continued watching the movie. It was a long two hours and when the credits came on Ashley was the first one out of her seat "Well that was fun." She commented walking out of the large dark room, holding the door open for Spencer.

"I thought it was a great movie, Ashley." Spencer said walking alongside the rock star. "It had the right amount of blood and gore and the romance, wow. Who would have thought Cindy could play a convincing slut." Ashley just chuckled and took Spencer's hand. They were at the party minutes later.

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Ashley and Spencer spent the first few minutes at the party together, meeting different people, eating, and enjoying themselves. The music was good, the atmosphere was fun, and the bar was stocked. Everything Ashley could ever ask for in a party. Well almost everything. "Ashley Dear, can I have a word?" Ashley put down the drink in her hand on the table beside her and turned her head. It was a woman in her mid 40's who had called her. Her name was Vivian Thomas one of her Dad's old friends. "Just a minute." She called out facing Spencer. "I'll be right back." She said before walking over to her Dad's friend. Spencer mumbled 'okay' and continued picking at the finger foods on her plate.

"Is this seat taken?" Spencer looked up and smiled at the kind looking man in front of her. She assumed he was somewhere in his mid 60's and obviously rich by the look of his suit and wrist watch.

"No, please have a seat." She offered standing to help him pull out his chair. His cane only made it possible for him to use one hand.

"Wait a second." He said abruptly, stopping Spencer dead in her tracks.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked, amused by his gleeful smile.

"No, my dear. In fact…… you've done everything right." He answered eyeing her entire body. "Can you spin around a little bit for me?" He asked meeting her gaze. Spencer felt extremely uncomfortable under his inspection but spun for him anyway. "She's perfect." He mumbled to himself looking around the room for someone. Spencer stopped spinning and stared curiously at him. "CJ come here I think we found our girl."

Spencer swallowed hard staring between the two men. CJ was younger than the other man, around her Dad's age, and also wore an expensive suit and watch. "Your girl?" She asked looking between the two. "What do you mean?"

"For our next movie." CJ quipped in. "You're exactly who I pictured to play our next lead, slim, blonde hair, gorgeous eyes. You're perfect!"

Spencer stood speechless. "You're next movie?" She repeated slowly.

"Yep. Should be out by July or August and you're exactly who we want."

"Need." The older man added.

"Right." CJ said with a smile. "Are you interested? We're willing to pay you up to 2 million dollars if you're acting is good."

"Can you act?" The older man inquired curiously.

"Um, in high school I did some acting. Even won a couple of trophies at a camp for a play I did….but other than that, I'm not very experienced." She answered sheepishly.

CJ's smile widened. "Well that's perfect. You don't get any type of stage fright, right?"

"No, she doesn't." Ashley answered taking her place by Spencer's side. She knew exactly who the two gentlemen in front of Spencer were. The same guys who talked Pops into putting them on the movie's soundtrack. They were movie geniuses and had the money and power name to prove it. "In fact she plays in front of hundreds a people a night." She added confidently.

Both men looked at each other, smiling. "She's in the band?" CJ asked hopefully. Both girls nodded their heads 'yes.' "That's perfect." CJ said looking at Spencer. "You already have a fan base then. Well what do you say, will you do our movie? We can send you a script in a couple of weeks and start filming after New Years."

Spencer looked at Ashley, who merely shrugged, and turned her attention back to the men. "Um, can I have some time to think about this? I'm not sure what I want to do." She answered honestly.

CJ fished in his pockets while shaking his head. "That's fine. This is something that will change your life forever. Think for as long as you like," He handed Spencer his card. "That's my phone number. You'll have month to make your decision." He said smiling at both girls. "It was nice talking to you ladies, have a good evening."

Spencer and Ashley exchanged goodbyes with the two men before looking at each other. "That doesn't happen very often." Ashley teased with a playful smile.

"Tell me about it." Spencer chuckled taking a seat at the table. "My mom would die if she found out I was offered to star in a horror movie." Ashley took the seat next to her. "She thinks their demonic."

Ashley grinned. "That doesn't sound too promising."

"What do you mean?"

"If you're mom thinks movies are demonic, what would she think of us?" Ashley's voice was teasing, playful, but Spencer was really considering the question.

"I don't think she'll be one of those mothers who disown their children because their gay." She answered thoughtfully. "Her hairstylist is gay and she loves him to death."

Ashley chuckled. "Spencer there is a huge difference between daughter and hairstylist."

Spencer thought a moment. "I guess so." She said picking at her food. "How did your mom take it?"

Ashley shrugged. "She saw it on TV and we've never talked about it."

Spencer opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Pops. "Ashley come here and meet this guy, he's a riot."

Ashley turned her head and saw her Dad standing next to a very important looking person. "Coming Daddy!" She called out with the fakest smile Spencer has ever seen. Ashley met Spencer's giggling face with an eye roll and stood up, walking towards her dad; she hated acting like she was close to Pops more than anything but did it anyway to protect the golden Davies name. She had to snort at that but quickly changed her train of thought when she reached her father.

Spencer watched Ashley for a while before standing up and doing some socializing of her own. Spencer knew the three would be there for a while by the way Pops' friend was talking. "Hey there." Scott greeted charmingly. "Where are you off to?" He asked taking a sip of coke.

Spencer smiled up at the handsome actor. "I was just looking for someone to talk to." She answered honestly. "Is my journey over?" She asked playfully.

Scott chuckled. "I would be more than happy to keep you company Spencer." He answered taking her hand. "But there's something outside I want you to see first."

Spencer easily agreed and followed Scott outside.

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After excusing herself, Ashley went straight to the back of the ballroom in search of the bathroom. It wasn't easy getting away from her father and his friend but Ashley did it by excusing herself to the bathroom. The conversations were lame and Ashley was more than happy to be free from their clutches. Walking down a dark hallway, Ashley opened the first door she came across and stared at everyone in the room. There was 5 people. 3 guys and 2 girls, one of them being Cindy. They all sat around a small table filled with drugs and Ashley walked in and closed the door when Cindy invited her in. "Come sit next to me, rock star." Cindy said patting the empty space next to her.

Ashley did so and eyed all the party goods on the table anxiously. "I don't see any cocaine." She said more to herself. She looked at Cindy. "Do you have any?" She asked, eyes pleading.

Cindy gently padded the side of her face. "I'm sorry Ashley but we don't have any Coke. However," She looked at Kenny, a tall black man who was her best friend. "Do we have any painkillers, those are really fun."

Ashley shook her head 'no' and started to stand. "Never mind I shouldn't…"

"Wait." Cindy said taking Ashley's hand. She gently pulled the rock star back into a sitting position. "We might have cocaine in the….car," She looked back at Kenny. "Why don't you make Ashley something to drink and then get the coke?"

Kenny looked between Cindy and Ashley, smiling. "Okay," He stood up and walked to the bar. Grabbing a couple of bottles, he made Ashley a drink and slyly dropped a pill in the glass before handing it over to Ashley. He watched her down the whole glass. "Well I'm off," He said walking to the door. "Be right back." He called over his shoulder, leaving the room.

Ashley placed the empty glass on the coffee table and waited patiently for the cocaine, ignoring the sudden feeling of nausea erupting in her stomach.

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"I saw you talking to CJ and Bertson and overheard some your conversation," He said apologetically, Spencer just smiled. "I wasn't eavesdropping or anything but from what I heard they want to make you an actress," He looked at her, Spencer confirmed that with a 'yes' "And you didn't sound so sure so I thought I'd help convince you by showing you this." They walked outside to the large parking garage and stopped in front of a nice red corvette. Scott giddily ran to it and hopped on top of the hood. "This bad boy is mine," He said running his hand down the hood. "I bought it with the paycheck they gave me. It's a really sweet ride, right?"

Spencer was having a hard time looking impressed. After seeing Ashley's car, everything else just seemed….boring. "It's nice." She said with a smile. "But how is this thing going to help convince me?" She asked curiously.

Scott got off his car and stared incredulously at her. "You're kidding me, right?" Spencer shook her head 'no.' "Spencer this is a 50,000 dollar car, don't you want one?"

Spencer chuckled. "It'd be sitting in a garage somewhere. I don't drive."

"Why not?" He asked fishing around in his suit jacket for the keys. "Are you scared or something?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I'm just a backseat kind of girl."

Scott smiled. "Well Ms. Backseat would you like a ride? I happen to know where the world's greatest pizza shop is."

Spencer's stomach growled at the thought of pizza. The finger food inside did no justice for her raging appetite. "Let's go." She said enthusiastically, rushing to the passenger door. "But we can't be gone long." She said slipping in to the car.

"Why not?" Scott asked pulling out of the parking garage. "Got a hot date or something?" He teased.

Spencer looked out the window. "Or something."

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Ashley shook her head for the thousandth time that minute. The room was moving and she felt like she was spinning along with it. The faces around her were starting to blur and she felt too weak to move. All of her attempts to stand were unsuccessful and she ended up falling back down every time she tried to move away from the person sitting next to her. God, even in her vertigo state she could feel the blonde's hands on her. They weren't more than casual touches on her arms and face but they still bothered her. She shook her head again to try to clear her vision but that didn't help much. She could barely make out Kenny's silhouette as he neared her and didn't feel when he lifted her up and placed her in a chair. She was so dizzy but focused hard enough to barely see Cindy pull out a syringe. They were talking but she couldn't hear the words being exchanged between them. She felt her own mouth open and close but didn't hear anything leave her mouth. A rubber band was placed around her upper arm, just above her elbow, and then the syringed pierced through her skin. She scarcely felt the cold metal enter her body and the warm heroin that emptied out of it. The world around her started to slowly fade away, everything was going black, the last thing she felt was panic rising in her chest -- and then nothing.

Cindy smiled proudly at Kenny. "Search her body for a hotel key." She looked back at the drugged out rock star. "We have a movie to make."

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"Here you go guys." The waitress said placing their large cheese pizza between them.

"Thank you." Spencer said staring hungrily at the large platter. "This looks really good." She said tearing off a slice.

"Oh it tastes way better than it looks." Scott took a bite out of his pizza. "I love the cheese they use." He said around the food in his mouth.

Spencer also took a bite. "Mmme too."

"Would you mind if I take the rest home?"

Spencer chuckled. "Believe me, by the time I'm through here there isn't going to be anything left to take."

"Don't you care about your figure?" He asked curiously.

"Absolutely not. I love food and I am not going to deprive myself of it just to look good."

Scott stared at her with a smile. "Are you sure you're a girl?" He teased.

Spencer looked down at herself. "Positive." She also smiled. "So what about you? Don't you care about your figure?"

Scott shook his head 'no'. "Not really but I do usually eat healthier. For health."

"That's cool. I grew up eating healthy too. My mom is a surgeon and used to feed us rabbit food for dinner." She elaborated at Scott's amused facial expression. "Not really rabbit food but you know lots of vegetables and fruit." She groaned. "Pizza once every two months."

"That's crazy. Why would she do that?"

Spencer drank some of her coke. "Heart disease starts early in children, she was just looking out for me I guess," She chuckled. "My mom was sort of a hippie growing up so lived off vegan food. That was basically my diet growing up."

"Well it definitely paid off." He eyed her playfully. "You know, I have never seen a big vegetarian in all of my life. If all those actresses in Hollywood would follow a vegan diet instead of throwing up and doing drugs, I bet they'd get the same results but with a longer life span."

Spencer nodded her head in agreement. "But it's not as easy at it sounds. No dairy, eggs, and meat would be a bitch to follow if you ask me."

"Spencer those Hollywood actresses have enough will power to not eat at all. Clearly keeping away from food isn't their problem."

"But that's usually with the help of drugs."

Scott sighed. "I guess you're right. It wouldn't really make a difference whether their vegan or not if they're doing drugs. Either way, they're killing themselves and it's really sad to see."

Spencer played with the straw in her cup. "Yeah it is."

Scott stared at her a moment. "You sound like you speak from experience."

Spencer looked at him. Just then her cell phone rang. "Sorry." She told scott before answering. "Hello?"

"Yeah, Princess. Is Ashley with you?"

Spencer furrowed her brow in confusion. "No Pops, last time I saw her she was with you."

"Well I guess she went back to the hotel. Where are you at?"

"I'm having pizza with Scott."

"Who?"

"Scott the actor in the movie."

"Oh." There was a pause. "Ohhhhh, I hope I wasn't interrupting anything important."

"Only if Pizza's important." Spencer chuckled. "So you think Ashley's back at the hotel?"

"She should be. She knows we're leaving in a couple of hours."

"Alright. I'll head over there next and have her call you."

"Sounds good. See ya Princess."

"See ya, Pops."

After a few more slices of Pizza; Spencer and Scott declared they were full and headed outside to the car.

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Spencer stepped out of the car and thanked Scott for the pizza. After exchanging phone numbers, she turned away from the red corvette and walked inside the large 5 star hotel. She couldn't wait to see Ashley again, alone. The day had been exhausting and she was going to talk Ashley into sharing a nice warm bath with her with lots of bubbles and relaxation. The thought made Spencer walk a little faster and she was in the elevator and up to Ashley's floor in seconds. Smiling, she made her way to Ashley's door and pulled out her key card. The light turned green and she opened the door. The smile fell off her face and her facial expression expressed nothing less than horror.

A tripod stood in the corner of the room with a small camcorder pointed towards the bed. On the bed lied a very naked Ashley, sandwiched between two girls, and a guy who was standing next to the bed, also naked, standing next to Cindy jacking off. Spencer was very angry and couldn't stop herself from walking deeper into the room. The first thing she did was grab the camera and then open the window. Both Cindy and Kenny looked at her in horror as she threw the camera out, and was ready to kill her when she had the nerve to order them out.

"And who's going to make us leave you little bitch?" Kenny spat approaching Spencer with murder in his eyes.

"I am."

Everyone in the room turned their heads and was surprised to see a very tall well muscled Indian man standing at the door way. Roscoe was immediately on the search for Ashley the second he found out she was missing. He felt bad for losing her in the first place and got it good from Pops for not keeping a better eye on her.

Spencer sighed her relief and looked at the bed. The two girls who had Ashley sandwiched were now sitting at the edge of the bed, looking very pissed off. One of them was a red head while the other was a blonde. "Are we still getting paid?" The blonde asked, looking at the dressing black man.

Kenny glared at her. "No you stupid bitch. Our tape is now in a fucking million pieces lying on the fucking street."

Spencer watched the blonde angrily stand up and lunge towards Kenny. Roscoe separated the two fighting adults and kept them away from each other, ordering them to hurry up and dress so he can kick their asses out. Spencer was starting to get a headache from watching the stupidity in front of her so decided to wait outside until everyone left. She couldn't help but wonder how Ashley got herself into this mess. Trouble seemed to follow the rock star everywhere, on a daily basis, and Spencer didn't know whether she could handle it or not. She promised the rock star her patience but her patience would eventually start to wear thin. And that scared her.

Roscoe lead all of the druggies out of Ashley's suite and gave Spencer the 'okay' to go back in. Spencer thanked him and entered the large room. Her emotions were running wild inside of her. She didn't know whether to be scared, angry, or sympathetic but in the end she knew it wouldn't matter how upset she was at Ashley. She still loved her and wasn't going to jump ship over this. She was going to be there for Ashley thick and thin and not abandon her like her mother did or ignore her like Pops does. Ashley needed someone to be there for her and she was going to be that person. For as long as Ashley needed her. For as long as she needed Ashley.

Spencer approached the bedside and did not like what she saw. Ashley lied in a fetal position, scratching one of her arms furiously; it seemed as though she couldn't sit still and yet couldn't move. Her eyes were extremely glassy and weren't really focusing on anything, always wandering around the room. Her breathing was not even and peaceful but straggled and fast, Spencer had no idea what she should be doing and Ashley was not responding to her name. It was like she was deaf and Spencer was getting worried.

"Ah, fuck." Pops groaned stepping into the room. Spencer looked over at him and did not like his facial expression. He looked more pissed off than worried. "Shit, this is going to put us behind schedule." He looked at his wristwatch. "We have to leave tonight or we're screwed. I'm screwed." He looked back on the bed, at Ashley. "Hope you're happy you little shit you just made me late for an appointment."

Spencer couldn't believe the blonde man in front of her. Ashley looked close to death and he was worried about an appointment? "I think we should take her to the hospital." She said harshly. "Can you help me get her downstairs?"

Pops laughed humorlessly. "Oh no. We are not going to the hospital for Ashley's fucking mistake." He cut off Spencer when she was about to speak. "This shit will be all over the news and they'll send her to some fucking rehab shit and our band does not need that kind of publicity."

Spencer looked at him filled with anger, "You selfish greedy bastard, are you blind? She can barely breathe! And all you care about is the band's publicity?" She asked in disbelief.

Pops frowned. "Spencer she did this to herself!" He looked at Ashley. "It'd serve the little bitch right if she died from a drug overdose. All the shit she puts me through."

Spencer looked away, too disgusted to look at Pops. His mere presence was making her feel nauseated and for the first time in forever she realized she actually hated him, which was major since she didn't believe in hate. She was a strong believer in peace and thought everyone should love their neighbors but Pops was just too horrific to deserve anything less than hate.

Roscoe walked in and lightly cleared his throat. "Mr. Davies they told me everything they did to her. She's overdosing on heroin but the female said it wasn't anything life threatening."

"A heroin overdose not life threatening?" Spencer snorted looking at Roscoe. "You know how stupid that sounds?"

Roscoe shrugged. "She said it, I'm just repeating it." He looked over at Pops. "Should we take her to the hospital, Sir?"

"No hospitals." He snapped. "Just let her sleep it off. If she stops breathing, call the hospital." Pops walked towards Roscoe and whispered something in his ear before walking out of the room.

Roscoe sighed and told Spencer he'll be standing outside the door. Spencer said okay and brought a chair over to the bed side. She sat watching Ashley experience a bad heroin high and felt very helpless. She had no idea how long it would last and hated seeing Ashley so sick. Her body had broken out in a cold sweat and she was now shivering. Spencer put a blanket over her but Ashley just whimpered and kicked it off. Spencer tried again but Ashley just did the same thing until Spencer finally gave up. She reached out and took Ashley's cold clammy hand in hers and started stroking it with her thumb. By now Ashley was mumbling incoherently and slurring Spencer's name every so often. Her voice was pleading and Spencer didn't know what she wanted. She kept telling Ashley she was there for her and that she loved her very much but that didn't help much. The rest of the night was hell for both teens. Spencer spent it helping Ashley while Ashley spent it throwing up and wishing she could die. Morning came and Ashley finally fell asleep, relieving Spencer to no end. That relief soon turned to grief when she heard someone knocking on the door. She jumped out of her chair and answered it before Ashley woke up. "Yes." She snapped, irritable from lack of sleep.

"Woah, sorry." Mike apologized feeling very awkward. "I called Pops and he said Ashley was sick so I came to visit."

Spencer furrowed her brow at him. "When did you get here?"

"LA?" At Spencer's nod he elaborated. "Last night. Around 8, why?"

"Is Aiden with you?" She asked curiously.

"Not with me with me but he's back at our hotel."

"Okay, I'll go visit him." Mike gave Spencer the name of the hotel and his key card to the room he and Aiden were sharing. Spencer left after that, not wanting to be in the same room with Mike. She didn't like him at all and gave him strict instructions to watch, not wake, Ashley. She walked outside and grabbed a taxi to Aiden's hotel. 10 minutes later, she was on Aiden's floor and in front of his door. Spencer slipped the key card in and opened the door as soon as the light turned green. She opened the door and was impressed with the large two bedroom suite. She quickly got over her awe state and walked into one of the bedrooms. It was a total pig sty. The bed's sheets were all on the ground and their were clothes scattered everywhere. Spencer rolled her eyes and closed the door. It was obviously Mike's bedroom so she opened the next bedroom door and walked in. All the lights were off and there were no windows, making it impossible to see anything. She quickly solved that problem by turning on the lights and the first thing she saw was Aiden's sleeping form on the bed. The second thing was a woman in her late 20's sleeping next to him, naked.

Spencer wasn't sure how she felt. Apart of her was upset that the man she loved was in bed with another woman but a bigger part was relieved. This was definitely going to make their breakup easier and she wasn't going to feel guilty. Her heartbreak wouldn't be so bad since Aiden was obviously a cheating pig and she started laughing. Her situation was so strange and kind of tragic that she just found herself laughing.

Aiden immediately shot up at hearing the laughter and stared fearfully at Spencer. "Spencer it's not what you think." He said quickly getting out of the bed.

"Save it, we're over." She snapped walking towards the door. She wasn't in the mood for his lies. It just made him look more pathetic.

Aiden grabbed her upper arm. "Let me explain, Spencer."

Spencer faced him and snatched her arm away. "It's over Aiden. Just drop it, okay? I don't hate you, I'm not mad, and you're still my friend."

Aiden stared at her, pleading. "Spencer please. I love you-"

Spencer interrupted him, smiling sadly. "That's just it, Aiden. I don't." He looked away but she continued anyway, "I'm not in love with you anymore."

Aiden looked at her with angry eyes. "So this is it?" Spencer nodded her head 'yes.' "Fine. I can deal with that. All our years together," He snapped his fingers, "down the drain like they were nothing. I can live with that. But can you at least tell me who the other guy is? The guy who ruined us?"

Spencer stared at him, confused. "The other guy?"

"I'm not stupid Spencer. I know you've been fucking around." He laughed. "That's why I started fucking around. I wanted to get back at you. Hurt you like you've been hurting me. Bite marks, bruises, your lack of interest in me. Who's been fucking you Spence? I would like to thank him for getting rid of the worst thing in my life!" He was yelling now and Spencer was taken aback by his anger.

"Aiden I'm sorry things turned out this way and I can't tell you who….'he' is but I want you to know that I never enjoyed what I was doing to you." She said honestly. "What I've been doing has been hurting me just as much, if not more, than you and I'm sorry but I don't control who I meet in life or who I fall in love with…..it just happened." She added apologetically.

"So you're in love with somebody else?" He asked weakly, "Already?"

"Yes." She answered honestly watching Aiden take a seat on the edge of the bed. The room was quiet for a long moment and Spencer was starting to get nervous. She didn't like the way Aiden was staring at the floor. He looked miserable and full of repent. After a while his blue eyes met hers and he spoke, "I never used to have any regrets before in my life but now I have one." He said quietly. "I regret ever allowing you to experience fame, because now, like so many other celebrities out there, you've become a cold heartless bitch."

Spencer flashed him a grateful smile. "Experiencing fame is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me." I wouldn't have met Ashley without it.

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The loud ringing in her head was starting to drive her insane so Ashley sat up, and regretted it. Her whole body ached from head to toe and she felt incredibly weak. She looked around the room and her gaze landed on Mike, who sat snoring in the chair besides the bed, and she wanted to kill him for not answering the phone because now she had to do it. "Hello?" She rasped into the receiver. Her throat felt incredibly dry and talking was extremely painful.

"Get your ass into the lobby, there is someone here for you to meet." Pops ordered before hanging up.

Ashley also hung up the phone and stared at it. She didn't know if she could move. Her body felt really heavy and all she wanted to do was sleep. But that obviously wasn't going to happen. With as much strength as she could muster, Ashley crawled out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror and groaned when she saw how pale she looked. "Fuck." She mouthed, not wanting to experience the pain talking would cause. She looked down at herself and wanted to puke at how bad she smelled. It was horrible mixture of puke, sex, and sweat that tainted her skin and she desperately needed a bath. With that in mind, she got into the large bathtub and started the water. The warm water did miraculous things for her tired muscles and she wished she could stay there all day, night, and for the rest of her life. After spending twenty minutes in the bathtub, washing her body, she got out and walked straight to her suitcase in the room. Mike was still asleep so she didn't have to worry about him seeing her naked as she dressed. 10 minutes later her hair was fixed and she walked out of her hotel room wearing a band T, sweat pants, and slip ons.

The lobby wasn't too crowded so Ashley spotted Pops right away. She stared in confusion at the small woman standing beside him. She was really hot with long wavy brown hair, shining hazel eyes, and an amazing body. She wore a very tight white blouse, a skirt that stopped mid thigh, and black heels. Ashley stopped a couple feet away from Pops and stared into exotic hazel eyes. "Ashley this is Madison Duarte, the reporter." Ashley heard Pops say, her eyes never leaving Madison's. "It's nice to meet you, Madison." She said offering the reporter her hand.

Madison smiled and took it. "The pleasure's all mine."


	3. “Only for you, rock star”

Ashley briefly shook Madison's hand and then quickly pulled it away. Maybe it was her tiredness, or the heroin left in her system, but she had a bad feeling about Madison. To the naked eye, she seemed very normal and kind but Ashley also saw coldness in her eyes that made her feel uncomfortable. "Um, I'm sorry but I'm really tired and I don't think I'm ready for any interviews today," She stated with false apology. She was only in the mood for one thing, and being social wasn't it.

"Busy night?" Madison asked slyly, wanting to know how the rock star spent her night. She heard Ashley attended a party last night and wanted details ASAP. "What were you wearing? Any famous designer clothing?"

Ashley internally groaned. Didn't I just say I wasn't ready for any interviews? "I'll answer that later." She said as politely as she could muster while dealing with a killer head ache. "It was nice meeting you Madison, but I don't feel good." She looked at Pops, he didn't seem too pleased. "Daddy, I'm going back to bed now since I feel really sick," She barely stopped the smile that threatened to form over her lips as she watched him visibly tense. "I'm too sick to travel now. Can we leave in a few hours instead?"

Pops smiled a false loving smile as he stared into clever brown eyes. Yes, Ashley was good at being bad and apart of him was almost proud of her. Almost. "Of course, Pumpkin. How about we leave around noon?" He hated everything that was coming out of his mouth but had to act like a loving father in front of Madison. His reputation was far more important than his ego.

"Sounds too good to be true." Ashley smiled. "Well thanks Pops. I'm off to sleep."

"Wait Ashley, I think you're forgetting something." He said opening his arms.

Ashley stared at him in disbelief and quickly glanced over at Madison. Her face was in total admiration and Ashley knew telling Pops to go fuck himself was out of the question, "My mistake." She mumbled walking forward. She felt his arms wrap around her and completely tensed up. It was so weird hugging him after everything they've been through and all Ashley wanted to do was run away. "I love you."

Ashley jerked away the second she heard the words whispered near her ear and stared into her father's taunting eyes. She hated how satisfied he looked and she knew just the right things to say to make that satisfaction die – Ashley chastised herself. She had to get away before she said, or did, something that would expose the true nature of their relationship to Madison. "Bye," She spat turning away from him. She couldn't stand the fact that he had won their little battle of wills, and was close to running towards the elevator, needing to get away from Pop. Once inside she pressed the button and was on her way to the floor she was staying on. Her head still hurt and her body still ached and all she wanted to do was spend the day sleeping but she knew her sleep would only be limited to a few hours. "Can't have your cake and eat it to." She murmured out loud opening her hotel room door. She walked in and then sighed when she saw Mike lying on her bed watching TV. "I want to be alone." She said bluntly, sounding annoyed.

Mike sat up and looked at her. He was sort of confused by her attitude but didn't say anything about it. He'd be pissed off to if someone gave him bad shit. Especially when the bad shit was heroin. "I heard what happened, Ash. And I'm sorry the shit you bought was bad but you don't have to take it out on me."

Ashley turned off the TV and faced him. "Who told you I bought bad shit?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "Whoever it was lied. I got fucking drugged up by a swarm of psychos and then…..then…" She thought hard about this for the first time that day and couldn't remember anything passed watching the syringe pierce her skin. Everything after that was just blank. "Look can you just leave, I don't feel too good."

Mike felt sympathy for his friend. "Okay, Ash. I'll leave." He got off the bed and walked towards her. "Hope you feel better." He kissed the top of her head and walked out of the room.

Ashley watched him leave and instantly felt relieved the second the door closed. She loved Mike to death but was not in the mood for his obnoxiousness. "Where the hell is Spencer?" She asked herself looking around the empty room. She hated not being able to remember last night. It made her feel so lost and scared not knowing what she might have said or done to Spencer while she was high on heroin. "Fuck." She hissed walking over to her suitcase. She knelt down and searched for a pack of cigarettes. She needed to do something --anything—to help calm her nerves and smoking was the only thing she could think of.

After lighting a cigarette, Ashley walked over to the open window and stared down at the busy streets of LA. She was staring but not really seeing anything. Her mind was far too busy worrying about Spencer. Did Cindy and Kenny do something to her? She wondered fearfully while taking a long drag off her cigarette. She would never **ever** be able to forgive herself if something did happen to Spencer last night. It was all her fault for getting involved with Cindy and Kenny that caused everything that happened, whatever that was, to happen. "I fucked up big time." She said flicking her cigarette out the window. She was starting to get restless, but felt too tired to do anything more than stand there, staring at nothing. Ashley didn't know how long she stood there thinking, and assumed she was going crazy when she felt two hands on her shoulders, messaging the muscles there gently. "What are you doing up?" She heard being asked behind her.

Ashley immediately turned around at the sound of Spencer's voice and was relieved to see the blonde standing healthy and happy in front of her. "Fuck, I was so worried about you." She whispered pulling Spencer into a fierce hug. Her face was buried in lavender scented hair as she nuzzled against the warm soft skin on Spencer's neck. She had no idea where they stood but didn't care. Spencer was safe in her arms and that's the only thing that mattered to her at the moment. "I'm so very sorry Spencer, so sorry."

Spencer stood, puzzled, while bringing her hands up to caress Ashley's hair. "What are you sorry for Ashley?" She asked softly, loving the feel of her soft auburn hair running through her fingers.

Ashley closed her eyes, enjoying Spencer's touch, and buried herself deeper into the blonde. It made her feel secure being enveloped in Spencer's arms and she felt like everything was alright between them. But she knew that was a total lie. Well she didn't know that for sure but she had a hunch that everything wasn't okay. And that worried her. "I'm not sure." She mumbled weakly. "I honestly don't remember anything that happened last night. Well I remember some things but not much."

Spencer's heart went out the teenager in her arms. She sounded so unsure, scared, and miserable that it made Spencer want to help her relax and reassure her that everything was okay. Even if it wasn't. She was going to get answers from Ashley, but not now. Reminding Ashley of her heroin overdose was the last thing Spencer wanted to do to her right now. Instead, she was going to make the rock star feel good and relaxed. "I have an idea, Ash." Spencer said running her hands down Ashley's back. "How does a message sound?"

Ashley opened her eyes and pulled back. She met Spencer's gaze and nodded her head 'yes'. After completely pulling away from the blonde Ashley went straight to the end table, near the bed, and picked up her phone.

Spencer watched her feeling somewhat confused. "Ashley?" She asked watching the rock star punch in a number. Ashley stopped dialing and looked up. "Who are you calling?" She asked curiously.

"Rachael." She answered looking back down at her phone. "I'll have her find a masseuse for you."

Spencer smiled while walking up to Ashley, gently taking her phone. "That won't be necessary." She said tossing the black Motorola razor aside. Looking up into confused brown eyes, Spencer kissed Ashley's lips softly. "First of all, the message is for you and secondly, I'm going to be your masseuse." Spencer didn't give Ashley a chance to respond as she grasped the hem of her shirt. "Lift your arms up, Honey." Ashley did so and stood completely still as her shirt and bra were being removed. "Spencer, are you sure this message is actually going to be a …..message?" She asked playfully, fighting back a shiver as the cold air in the room hit her bare skin.

"Positive." Spencer answered moving away from Ashley. "Now, get on the bed and lie on your stomach while I get something out of my bag." She called out stepping into the bathroom.

Ashley walked over to the bed and rolled onto the middle of the large mattress, loving how the cool sheets felt against her naturally heated skin, and wrapped her arms around a silk covered pillow, sighing her contentment. "I wish I can stay in bed all day." She murmured, closing her eyes. It was almost scary how easily she could fall asleep right now. Usually it took a lot more than just lying down to make her feel relaxed enough to sleep.

Ashley felt the bed shift and smiled when she realized Spencer was back. Apart of her was looking forward to the message but a bigger part of her was hoping it'd turn out to be more…..sexual than soothing. "So, how good are you at this?" She asked quietly, feeling Spencer straddle the back of her thigh, just below her backside; the denim on the blonde's leg settling between her own jean clad thighs. "Spencer," she gasped when she felt cold thick liquid land on the small of her naked back.

"Sorry." Spencer mumbled, not meaning for any of the baby oil to spill on Ashley yet. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she forgot all about the bottle in her hands. Staring at Ashley's naked back was becoming a huge distraction and she wondered how long the message would remain innocent before one of them completely gave into their desires. She then remembered Ashley's question and smiled wickedly. Running her hands up the expanse of Ashley's back, Spencer dug blunt nails in the skin between her shoulder blades before scratching her way back down to the small of her back. Ashley whimpered lightly when she felt feather like kisses being placed up her spine, on the nape of her neck, and finally on her ear and cheek. "I'm very good at this," She husked nibbling on a fleshy lobe.

Ashley moaned when she felt Spencer's naked breasts and warm abdomen crushed against her back, followed by the blonde's sexy voice and seductive behavior; the words 'be careful what you wish for' came to mind and she hoped self-control would be enough to keep her from turning over and completely ravishing the blonde. "Believe me, I believe you." She groaned feeling Spencer sit up again. She sort of missed the full body contact but realized not feeling Spencer's breasts against her back was probably for the best. "I understand why I'm naked from the waist up," She turned her head and her gaze landed on Spencer's exposed torso. "But what's you're excuse?" She asked, throat suddenly dry as she stared at Spencer's erect nipples. God.. her boobs are so fucking perfect! she thought feeling a slight stirring in her pants. Ashley quickly looked away and internally groaned. How am I going to get through this without exploding? Er, just don't look back, she quickly answered herself. "Easier said then done." She mumbled under her breath.

Spencer poured some of the oil on her hands. "Well Ashley I expect for you to return the favor when I finish here." She said playfully, gently starting to message Ashley's back.

Ashley grinned rakishly against her pillow. "I'll be more than happy to return the favor, Spence" She groaned, loving the sensual tender hands kneading the small of her back. "But don't expect a message."

Spencer chuckled warily. "Ashley I'm going straight to the bathroom for a **very** cold bath when I finish with you." She said, struggling with her own desire. The noises Ashley was making, the feel of her warm skin underneath her hands, and seeing the outside of her rounded breastswere driving Spencer crazy.

"Ooo I'll join you." Ashley moaned already feeling the tension in her muscles start to fade.

Spencer chuckled. "Ashley what would be the point in sitting in cold water with you? I highly doubt water temperature could keep you from having sex."

Ashley smiled. "Okay Spencer, since there's no getting out of sleeping with me, let's just avoid water completely and do it in bed. It'll make things easier for everyone."

"I'm sorry Ashley but we're not doing that kind of sleeping today." She stated casually, moving to Ashley shoulders.

Ashley couldn't believe what she was hearing. Spencer told her this while messaging her shoulders and Ashley would occasionally feel her nipples brushing against her skin, teasing her, and all she could think about was having sex with her. "Is giving me a message turning you off or something?" She asked confusedly.

Spencer paused. "You're kidding, right?" Ashley shook her head 'no.' "Ashley its worst than Niagara falls in my pants right now. Believe me, being turned off isn't my problem right now." She answered continuing her message.

"Then why don't you want to fu- Er, have sex?"

Her voice sounded bewildered to Spencer and it was almost as if she had never been turned down before in her life, which wouldn't have surprised Spencer. "Ashley after last night I think the only thing your body needs right now is rest." She explained patiently.

Ashley thought a moment, tracing invisible patterns on the bed sheets, she asked "How bad was I?"

Spencer briefly stopped and was surprised by Ashley's fearful, almost embarrassed, tone. "Do you want the truth?"

"Yes."

Spencer closed her eyes. "I thought you were going to die."

Ashley swallowed hard. "That bad?"

"Yes." Spencer opened her eyes and ran her hands down Ashley's sides. She was starting to think about last night and she just couldn't stop herself from asking Ashley the question that had been bothering her all night and morning long. "God Ashley, why heroin?" She asked with controlled anger. "I mean….what made you want to do something so horrible to yourself this time?"

Ashley sighed. "I didn't want heroin." She explained quietly. "I was there for…cocaine and then Cindy, or someone, gave me a drink and I felt really bad," She paused a moment to think. "I think they slipped something into my drink, a roofie or some shit, but they moved me to a chair….. and got a syringe, injected me with heroin, and I'm not sure what happened after that. How, or where, did you find me?" She asked curiously.

Spencer told Ashley everything that happened while rubbing her back. She told the rock star about the phone call she got from Pops, and how worried she was, and going to the hotel. She took a deep breath before telling Ashley about the video camera and the compromising position she had found her in. "Wait, they wanted to use me for a sex tape?" She asked thoroughly confused and angry.

"I guess so Ashley." She said apologetically. "There's tons of money for that sort of thing."

Ashley agreed and told her to continue. Spencer told her about throwing the camera out the window and how Roscoe came in the knick of time and kicked everyone out. Spencer didn't want to continue but Ashley insisted so she told her how sick she was; shivering, talking incoherently, confused, high, pale, and just completely distraught. "And you finally fell asleep around 5 this morning." She finished leaning over to rub the muscles around her neck.

Ashley let out a long groan. "I'm sorry for putting you through all that. Taking care of my pathetic ass-"

"Don't do that Ashley." Spencer gently interrupted. "Degrading yourself for something you had no control over isn't going to help anything. Now turn over so I can do your front."

Ashley chuckled and turned over. She watched Spencer's face closely as the blonde oiled up her hands. Her eyes were focused solely on her hands and her face was blushing furiously. Ashley smiled and couldn't stop her eyes from lowering, landing on Spencer's chest. She wanted to touch the blonde so bad. Images of them rolling around in bed played through her mind and she could feel her body heat rise to almost feverish levels.

Spencer ignored her body's reaction to seeing Ashley's body and started messaging the muscles on her waist. Her hands froze when she felt Ashley's fingertips stroke up and down her bare arm. She swallowed hard and continued messaging up her body, ignoring the Goosebumps erupting up her arm. She got to Ashley's breasts and stared down at her dark nipples. She barely kept herself from moving her head down and taking one of the perky nubs into her mouth. She quickly dismissed the thought and ran her hands up to Ashley's shoulders. She was on her knees, her body hovering -- not touching--over Ashley's and she found herself staring into her lover's eyes. There was so much emotion clouding dark brown orbs; want, need, desire, love. "Ashley," Spencer whispered lowering her head a little. "I need to tell you something."

"Okay." Ashley replied hoarsely running her hands up and down Spencer's naked sides. "You can tell me anything, Spencer."

"Ashley I bro-"

_There must be something in the water __  
__that turns your complexion to __  
__the lovely shade of blue ___

_There must be something in the way you say my name that makes me want to love you_

"You should answer that." Spencer groaned rolling off of Ashley.

Ashley sighed and placed light kiss on her lips before sitting up and answering her cell phone. "Hello?"

"Ashley I need to see you, now." Pops angry voice filled her ear and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine, I'll be there in a second." She said closing her phone. With sorry brown eyes she looked over at Spencer and sighed. The blonde was lying flat on her back and the look on her face told Ashley she was somewhat disappointed, "I'm sorry, Spencer but Pops wants to see me."

Spencer sat up and placed her hand on the small of Ashley's back, rubbing soothing circles over her warm skin; she placed a kiss on her bare shoulder and murmured "its okay Ashley, we'll talk when you get back."

Ashley turned her head and placed a kiss on her blonde crown. "I won't be too long. " Spencer looked up and she cupped the side of her face. "I promise." Her lips brushed over Spencer's very briefly before she rolled out of bed.

Spencer sat on the bed, watching Ashley look around for her shirt, and her interest peeked when she caught a glimpse of Ashley's bare crack "Is there any underwear under those jeans?" She asked playfully.

Ashley bent down and grabbed her shirt. Standing back up slowly, she met Spencer's gaze and seductively moved her hips from side to side. "Why don't you come over here and see for yourself." She purred with a cocky smile.

She swallowed a few times to get salvia running down her all of a sudden dry throat as she watched Ashley's seductive dance. She was very surprised by her body's instant response to Ashley's actions and couldn't wait another second to touch her. Spencer got off the bed and walked over to her, also smiling smugly; she grabbed the back of her neck with one hand and her denim covered butt with the other. Their mouths joined and Spencer couldn't stop her hand from lowering, exploring the rock star's ass and thigh as she tugged on her bottom lip. Ashley parted her lips and easily accepted Spencer, moaning as the blonde suckled her tongue slowly. Spencer moved her hand from Ashley's neck and ran it over her taunt nipple, quivering abs, and finally stopping at her fly. Quickly unbuttoning her jeans, Spencer slipped her other hand in Ashley's boxers and both teens moaned when the assaulting hand came into contact with Ashley's bare ass. Their kiss intensified when Spencer started kneading her fleshly globe, digging blunt nails into her skin, Ashley broke the kiss and gasped when she felt Spencer nuzzle her neck with her lips while quickly shoving her jeans down. Spencer pulled her head back and stared down at the rock star's body.

Her breasts were medium sized, nicely rounded, with brown erect nipples screaming for attention. Her abdomen was very tight on her slim frame and well toned. Spencer's arousal shot sky high when her gaze lowered and landed on Ashley's underwear. They were very tight white girl boxer shorts that fit snugly around her hips, stopping a few inches below her crotch, wrapping around her thighs, they were practically see through and Spencer thought she would pass out from the amount of lust running through her body, almost making her dizzy. She looked up into hooded brown eyes, clouded with arousal, and was surprised by the closeness of their bodies. Ashley's quickening breaths fell over her face, around her lips and chin, and it took all of her self control to keep from kissing her irresistible lips. "I want to get a better look," She husked, her lips barely brushing over Ashley's as she spoke. Ashley could only nod her head 'yes' as she watched Spencer sink to her knees, her face inches away from her boxers.

Spencer stared up at Ashley, "These are the hottest things I've ever seen you wear." She breathed staring back at the underwear that fit Ashley like a second skin. Her hands moved, as if they had a life of their own, and touched Ashley's ankle, slowly making their way up smooth tan legs; it delighted her to feel Ashley's muscles twitch under her touch. She felt insecure being sexual with Ashley. The rock star had been with so many other girls that Spencer feared she wouldn't be 'good' enough for her. But that obviously wasn't the case. She could practically smell Ashley's excitement through the thin material of her underwear and it was driving Spencer mad with desire, but she kept her lust under control long enough to run her hands all over Ashley's calves and thighs. She couldn't explain it but she just wanted to know every inch of Ashley's body. She placed little kisses on her thighs while running her hands over Ashley's ass, kneading the flesh she found there, it wasn't long before Ashley's scent changed from light and exotic to musky and spicy.

Spencer could hear Ashley's light pants, smell her arousal, and feel her legs quiver at her touch, and it kind of scared her knowing she was the cause of it all. She realized she had no idea what she was doing and wasn't sure where to go from here. Feeling lost, she looked up at Ashley, not knowing what she wanted.

Ashley looked down at met her gaze. She looked confused, scared, and not the same cocky person who started all of this. Ashley lovingly ran her hands over her face, into her hair, and gently messaged the back of her head with loving fingertips, "We can stop." She said, her voice quivering. It will kill me but we can stop. "You don't have to continue, Spencer. It's okay."

Spencer smiled up at Ashley and looked back at her underwear. Feeling Ashley's hand in her hair made her feel a little better about what she was going to do. Without any hesitation, she moved forward and nuzzled the front of the white boxer shorts, causing Ashley to sigh unexpectedly.

Feeling the tip of her nose nuzzle her oversensitive clit made Ashley's thighs quiver and she knew standing was going to be a difficult task soon. "Fuck, Spencer." She moaned watching the blonde kiss up her body.

Spencer sucked and nipped the skin around her bellybutton and kissed every inch of her hot rock star abs before dipping her tongue into the depression of her navel. Ashley's hand was still in her hair, stroking the flawless blonde hair as she gazed down at Spencer. The throbbing in her sex was almost unbearable as she watched Spencer. The blonde was on her knees, shirtless, enjoying her body while making these little pleasurable sounds.

Spencer slid both her hands into the waistband of Ashley's shorts and slowly ran them down her legs. Ashley eagerly stepped out of her pants and underwear and kicked them aside. Her body shuddered as she felt Spencer's warm breath on her aching womanhood. She wanted so bad to just pull Spencer into her. The blonde's hands were messaging her thighs as she studied her sex with curiosity and longing pooling in dark grey eyes, and it was driving Ashley crazy but she didn't dare rush her. She knew this was Spencer's first time calling the shots and Ashley wanted her to do at her own pace, even if it killed her.

Spencer was in total awe as she stared at Ashley's sex. The dark brown hair above glistening lips were trimmed neatly into a landing strip and Spencer couldn't stop her finger from reaching out and tracing the exotic design. She looked up and was momentarily taken aback at how absolutely beautiful Ashley looked. Her face was flushed, her eyes hooded, her lips parted as she quickly breathed, and then their eyes met and Spencer could see all of the love the rock star held for her. "Please, Spencer, just do something." Ashley moaned desperately.

Spencer quickly turned her attention back to the skin between her legs and placed a tiny kiss on her landing strip. "As you wish," She murmured while bringing her fingers up to open Ashley's drenched folds. Running her tongue along her wetness, she heard Ashley sigh from above and moaned when Ashley moved her legs farther apart, giving her better access. It was her second time performing oral sex and Spencer found it very much to her liking. The first time was with Aiden. He had gotten a little too excited during the blow job and shoved his manhood too deep in her mouth, causing her to throw up in his lap. It was very embarrassing and Spencer never wanted to try oral sex again, which was okay with Aiden. But now, with Ashley, it was amazingly different from what she had done with Aiden. She enjoyed the rock star's taste, scent, and the noises erupting from deep in her throat. It was all deeply arousing the blonde as she circled the center of her pleasure.

Ashley softly cried out when she felt the warmth of Spencer's mouth envelop her throbbing clit. She started slowly thrusting her hips against Spencer's mouth while gently stroking her blonde hair. Her body screamed for release and she soon found herself moving more urgently against her, "Fuck Spencer," She breathed, "I…your fingers…..agh…please." She moaned, closing her eyes, needing to feel the blonde inside of her. She held onto Spencer's hair tightly as she felt the blonde's fingers press against her opening. "Oh Spencer." She gasped, feeling the blonde's fingers enter her for the first time. She couldn't remember the last time she had let someone do this to her, sober. She hated the idea of being fucked, but not now, not with Spencer. With Spencer it was probably the most pleasurable thing she had ever experienced. "Oh god," She moaned feeling how close she was. She started grounding her hips harder against Spencer as she felt the blonde's fingers and mouth start to pleasure her more urgently. "Spencerrr…" She screamed, her hips bucking wildly as she exploded against her lover. The room was spinning as she continued to feel Spencer plunge in and out of her. It was feeling the blonde's teeth graze over her sensitive clit that made her body arch and go stiff as she climaxed for a second time. "No more," She begged, trying to catch her breath as she held Spencer's head against her thigh. "Fuck, I don't think I can stand much longer." She panted.

Spencer kissed up her midriff as she slowly stood up on weak legs. "Come here, rock star." She husked leading them both to the bed. Spencer was the first to fall onto the large mattress, followed by Ashley, who wasted no time getting on her knees and removing Spencer's pants and underwear. Ashley closed the distance between them and claimed the blonde's lips roughly. Spencer returned it just as passionately and whimpered in protest when Ashley broke away, nibbling down her cheek. "I love you so much," She whispered hotly in her ear, "I'm going to show you how much, baby," Ashley dipped her tongue into Spencer's ear while running her hand up her body, fondling her lover's breast. She wasn't going to be slow and torturous like Spencer was to her, but fast and wild like she knew the blonde needed it. She could feel Spencer's desire coat her thigh as she nudged her legs apart and groaned when she felt the amount of wetness there. "You weren't kidding when you said Niagara falls," She panted kissing down the blonde's neck as Spencer grasped her hips and began to move urgently against her. "You're so fucking hot, Spencer." She encouraged, rolling the blonde's nipple between her fingers as she watched their lower bodies grind harder against each other.

Ashley captured the other nipple with her teeth, raking her teeth over the hardened bud, she ran her hand down the blonde's body and stilled it between her legs while suckling the nipple greedily. "Ashley," Spencer hissed, grinding furiously against the heel of the rock star's hand. "I love you, oh God how much I fucking love you." She moaned.

Ashley tugged on her nipple a final time, eliciting a whimper from Spencer, and gently lifted her head up. "I love you too, Spencer." She smiled moving her head down. Their lips pressed together hard and soon tongues met passionately as Ashley parted her lips. Feeling the rock star's fingers dip into her wetness, Spencer dug her nails feverishly into Ashley's back and shuddered when the heel of her upturned palm brushed against her clit. "You're so wet, so fucking hot, so ready for me." Ashley panted as she broke the kiss, running her fingers along slick folds.

"Only for you, rock star." Spencer whimpered closing her eyes.

Ashley sucked hard on the pulse point of her neck as she ran her thumb over Spencer's throbbing clit, causing her hips to jerk up as she cried out. "Is this for me too?" Ashley teased, slowly circling the hardened bud.

"Yes." Spencer choked out moving against Ashley's touch. "I'm all yours, Ashley. Forever."

Hearing her needy tone, Ashley didn't waste another second entering her warm wet center. "And I'm all yours, Spencer." Ashley breathed, kissing down her upper chest, taking a ready nipple into her mouth as her fingers began to plunge in and out of Spencer. "Forever," Ashley whimpered, feeling the nails in her skin start to claw down her back. It was a very pleasurable pain that turned Ashley on immensely as she added another finger into the blonde. She could feel the walls in the blonde's center tighten around her fingers and she groaned around the nipple in her mouth. "You are so so beautiful, Spencer." She husked moving up the blonde's body.

Feeling the rock star's lips move against hers, Spencer screamed her ecstasy into the warmth of Ashley's mouth and lifted her hips off the bed against the rock star's touch as her orgasm shot through her. Ashley continued to pleasure her as she rode the waves of her orgasm and didn't stop until she begged her to. Smiling, Ashley immediately rolled over onto her back, bringing the blonde on top of her; she started kissing her blonde crown while murmuring words of love to Spencer as she continued trembling against her.

Ashley lied flat on her back in the middle of the large mattress and moved one of her hands down the bed, grabbing the silk blanket folded by her thigh. With ease, she covered both her and Spencer with it and both teens groaned when the cool material hit their over heated bodies.

Spencer's entire body covered Ashley's, her hands buried under her back, as her head rested on the rock star's upper chest. "You are amazing." She panted, feeling Ashley's hand stroke her hair while the other rested on the small of her back. "Mmm what are you going to do about Pops?" She mumured closing her eyes.

"Fuck Pops." Ashley mumbled. "I can barely move, Spencer." She yawned. "Did I get any sleep last night? I'm never this tired after-"

"Love making." Spencer cut in quickly, not wanting to hear Ashley say 'fucking.' "And you didn't get much but you did get more than me."

Ashley kissed the top of her head, feeling bad. "I'm sorry I kept you up all night, Spencer. I'll try to do better next time."

"It's okay, Ashley." She reassured gently. "You can make it up to me by falling asleep right now and still being here when I wake up."

Ashley chuckled softly closing her own eyes. "Deal," She felt Spencer place a small kiss on the hollow of her throat and sighed happily. "I love you, Spencer."

Spencer smiled. "I love you too, my rock star."

--------

_There must be something in the water __  
__that turns your complexion to __  
__the lovely shade of blue ___

_There must be something in the way you say my name that makes me want to love you_

Ashley groaned as tired brown eyes opened. She was seriously considering getting rid of her Motorola Razor, that also served as an annoying alarm clock, as she searched blindly around the bed for her cell phone. "Hello," She barked into the receiver, already knowing it was Pops. It was moments like these that made her wish he would kick the bucket already and leave her alone forever. The thought brought a smile to her face as she waited for his annoying, most likely pissed off, voice to fill her ear.

"Ashley where the hell are you? I've been waiting over 3 hours for your sorry ass to get here. What part of 'Ashley I need to see you, **now**' don't you fucking understand, huh?" He demanded seething with anger.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Well since you're done, I'll explain my reason for not being wherever the hell you're at." She started rubbing Spencer's back soothingly as she felt the blonde stir in her arms. "I fell asleep and, I don't know, just forgot to see you. Is it important?" She asked between yawns.

Pops snorted, "Well I got a very interesting phone call from a very upset, **heartbroken,** Aiden. I just wanted to know if you had anything to do with that?" He asked sarcastically. "When he told me Princess broke up with him I immediately put you're name out of my head, since you promised me Spencer would never leave him for you…." He trailed off but Ashley knew this was only the beginning of a very nasty ass chew. "Am I wrong to think that, Ashley?"

Ashley was a little taken aback by the news and didn't know how to answer Pops' question. Maybe she played a tiny part in their break up, okay a huge part, but she didn't want to give into Pops' questioning, knowing that would only give him an excuse to keep yelling at her, on the other hand, he would keep yelling at her anyway. "Of course you're not, Pops. You're right about every little fucking thing and not only am I always wrong but I'm also always the fucking problem, the one to blame, right?" She snarled, not giving him a chance to answer. "I'm so fucking fed up with the blame game, why can't you just accept the fact that not everything is going to go you're way? Why do you even fucking care about what happens between Spencer and me? It's my life so just fucking back off and quit trying to control it."

Pops laughed, "And when exactly did it become your life, Ashley? I've been controlling it since the day you were born sweetheart so listen, and listen good, because I'm only going to say this once. The second this shit with you and Princess hits the fan is the same second you're both gone. I'm so fucking tired of your bullshit, Ashley, and I know Spencer will be better off acting. More money. I don't know what the hell you're going to be doing and frankly I don't give a shit but I don't want you in this band anymore, Ashley. You're just too bad for it-"

Ashley angrily closed the phone, turned it off, and threw it off the side of the bed, not wanting to hear anymore of Pops' voice. This definitely wasn't the first time Pops had threatened to fire her but Ashley had a feeling he was serious this time and the thought of leaving the band left her feeling confused. What the hell would she do with her life? She knew money wasn't the issue. She could easily live 100 lifetimes with the amount of money she had in her bank account. The issue was her boredom. She didn't just want to spend the rest of her life in some expensive house doing nothing. No, she had to be productive, successful, and hell maybe even happy, but she had no idea how she was going to be all of that. All she knew was guitar playing, and as much as she loved it, she just wanted to do something new, that doesn't have anything to do with music, but that's only if Pops goes through with firing her. Until then, she was going to keep playing and not think about her future. It was just too depressing to think about the more she thought about it. Her biggest fear was ending up in a huge mansion, alone, with only drugs and whores to keep her company. The thought made her shiver and she immediately changed her focus from her future to the blonde in her arms.

Her hair was sprawled wildly over her chest as she slept soundly and Ashley couldn't stop her hand from moving up to touch the baby like skin on her face. It was so soft, smooth, and just felt wonderful under her fingertips. Ashley didn't stop stroking the side of her face until she saw the corner of her lips lift into a small smile. Spencer was awake. "Do you like that?" she asked softly, whisking away the blonde hair covering her neck.

Spencer's smile widened when she felt the rock star's hand start to tenderly massage the muscles on the back of her neck. "Of course I like it, Ashley." She opened her eyes and lifted her head. "In fact….I love it every time you touch me." She said meeting smiling brown eyes.

"You'll be singing a different tune in a second, Spencer." She promised cupping the back of her head. Ashley moved her head towards her own and their lips met softly and slowly. It gradually progressed and Ashley's mind screamed 'BINGO' when she felt Spencer remove her hands from under her back and place them on either side of her head. Ashley slyly ran her hands up Spencer's sides and started tickling the sensitive skin under her lover's arms.

"Ashley!" Spencer giggled immediately rolling off Ashley's body. She landed flat on her back beside the rock star and flailed around when Ashley straddled her waist and continued tickling her ribs.

"I thought you loved me touching you." She laughed, and stilled her fingers when Spencer started screaming, 'uncle'.

Spencer closed her eyes and fought hard to control her breathing. "That was not nice, Ashley." She said laughing a little. "I hate you now." She added playfully.

Ashley leaned over and kissed her chin. "I'm sorry, my love." She said meeting grey eyes. "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Spencer chuckled and nodded her head 'yes'. "Food." She groaned along with her stomach.

That wasn't the answer Ashley was expecting. "You're hungry?"

Spencer's eyes widened a little. "You're not?"

The truth was she wasn't but she couldn't remember the last time she ate anything. "Food sounds good." She mused out loud. "What are you in the mood for?" She sat up on her knees and stared down at the blonde.

Spencer's gaze landed on Ashley's breasts and she immediately chastised herself for wanting to eat them instead of food. You need food not sex. "Um," She cleared her throat a little and met amused brown eyes. "I'm not sure. What do you suggest?"

"I suggest we shower and then I suggest we get into a limo where I will suggest what we should eat." She smiled. "How does that sound?"

"Confusing."

"Good." Ashley rolled out of bed and abruptly faced Spencer when she heard the blonde yelp 'I'm so sorry Ashley.'

Ashley was surprised by Spencer's mortified expression. "Sorry for what?" She asked slowly.

"Um," Spencer chuckled nervously. "You're back."

Ashley didn't say anything as she walked into the bathroom. Spencer waited nervously on the bed for Ashley's reaction and hoped she wouldn't be too mad at her. She had done the same thing to Aiden and he didn't take it to well. But she didn't blame him. Every time he laid down on his back, or take a shower, the scratches on his back would sting. Uncontrollable laughter soon filled the room and Spencer was up and in the bathroom in seconds. "You think they're funny?"

Ashley stood, back facing the mirror, with her head turned towards her reflection. The scratches weren't so bad. There were four light pink marks on each side of her spine, starting at the middle of her back, and ending by her hips. "You sure know how to mark you're territory." She teased meeting grey eyes in the mirror.

Spencer chuckled and then stopped when she saw her own reflection. There, on her pulse point, was the biggest hickey she had ever seen in her life. "Ashley," She hissed, staring bullets at the rock star. "It seems I'm not the only one who knows how to mark territory." Ashley faced her and shrugged sheepishly, mumbling a 'sorry'. "Ashley how am I supposed to cover this?" Turning back to the mirror to inspect the bruised skin.

"Turtle neck." She suggested lamely.

"Riiiight, it's only 100 degrees outside." She sighed and faced Ashley again. Ashley quickly opened her arms, beckoning Spencer for a hug, and was relieved to see her lover smile. Spencer didn't hesitate walking into the rock star's arms. She sighed her contentment as Ashley's warm arms wrapped around her body and nuzzled her neck. "We have to practice safer sex." She mumbled against her warm tanned skin.

Ashley chuckled. "Okay, I'll buy you mittens and you can buy me a muzzle."

"Deal." She looked up and shared a chaste kiss with Ashley, blushing when her stomach chose that moment to grumble.

Ashley found it incredibly adorable and kissed her forehead. "Lets shower and feed that thing complaining in your stomach."

"Lets? As in you and me?"

"Yes." Ashley answered hesitantly. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Yes." Spencer nearly shouted. "Ashley I need food now and If we both go in there, naked, wet, and well let's face it Ashley, your always horny, we'll never get anything to eat."

Ashley wanted to laugh at how serious Spencer looked but didn't dare. She knew provoking Spencer right now wouldn't be very wise. "I promise nothing sexual. We're just going to shower, Spencer." She continued when Spencer continued to stare at her skeptically. "I'm hungry too, ya know?"

Spencer sighed. "Fine. But you better keep you're promise Ashley."

"I will." Ashley answered following the blonde into the shower.

--------

Spencer was really starting to regret allowing Ashley to shower with her. When they turned the water on, ran their soapy hands all over each other, and kissed a bit is when she should have stopped things, but couldn't. And that's what really pissed her off. Her inability to tell Ashley 'no'. Now, food was the last thing on Spencer's mind as Ashley pressed her firmly against the cold tile wall and began kissing and licking her way down her throat, over her collarbones, and finally her breasts. "Ashley," Spencer inhaled sharply, feeling the rock star's tongue flick her taunt nipple. "You promised." She groaned along with her stomach.

Ashley pulled away and sighed. "You really want me to stop?" She breathed meeting hooded grey eyes.

Spencer didn't want her to but she was starving, and she knew Ashley needed food too. Especially after throwing up all night long. "Yes." She answered honestly.

Ashley mumbled 'Okay' and followed Spencer out of the shower. They dried each other's bodies' thoroughly, sharing light kisses and laughs, and then changed in the other room. After dressing, doing their hairs, and applying make up; they walked out of their room and headed towards the lobby. They looked around and when they realized it wasn't so busy they just decided to eat at the hotel's restaurant. The waitress led them to a small table and Ashley was first to take her seat, followed by Spencer, and they both started looking at their menus right away.

"What would you guys like to drink?" The waitress asked kindly.

"Coffee, orange juice, hot chocolate, and chocolate milk." Ashley answered not missing a beat while continuing to scan over the menu.

The waitress didn't say anything as she wrote down Ashley's drink order. "And what would you like?" She asked meeting Spencer's gaze.

"Sprite, please." She answered, her eyes never leaving the menu.

"Alrighty. I'll be right back for your food order in a minute." She said before leaving.

Ashley couldn't really focus on anything. Her mind was too busy processing what Pops had told her. Spencer and Aiden breaking up was not something she wanted to deal with right now. It wasn't because Spencer would always be around her anymore, it was the media she was worried about. They would always be around Spencer. Asking her questions, taking pictures, and then rumors will start. Ashley looked over at her and wanted to chide her for breaking it off with Aiden before they had planned. "Spencer when did you break up with Aiden?" She asked lightly.

Spencer met her gaze and was surprised by the question. She didn't tell Ashley anything about Aiden. Her tone told Spencer she wasn't too angry but she didn't sound too happy either. "This morning, when Mike came to visit you." She answered honestly. "I can't be in the same room with that moron for too long, Ashley. I'd end up killing him."

Ashley smiled, despite the fact that Mike was her best friend, and didn't say anything as the waitress came back with their drinks. "Are you guys ready to order?"

Ashley nodded, "I'll have fries and a grilled cheese."

The waitress wrote it down and looked at Spencer. "I'll have a burger with fries, extra cheese on the burger."

After writing down Spencer's order, the waitress thanked them and headed back into the kitchen.

Ashley took a sip of her coffee. "Spencer you have to talk to Aiden and convince him to pretend to be your boyfriend for a little longer. If the media finds out about this, it's not going to be fun for anyone."

Spencer looked at Ashley. "I don't know, Ashley." She sighed. "I caught him cheating." Spencer was curious to see what Ashley's reaction would be and was surprised when the rock star's facial expression didn't change. "You don't look too surprised."

"I'm not Spencer." She looked at her orange juice. "I already knew he was cheating on you." She shrugged. "I caught him when I went to pick him up for Glen's birthday party."

Spencer was shocked and somewhat angry at Ashley for not telling her. "Why didn't you say anything?" She asked quietly.

Ashley looked at her. "It was none of my business, Spencer. Plus, I don't know, I didn't want you to think I was jealous or something."

Spencer took her hand from under the table and gave it a gently squeeze. "It's okay Ashley. It doesn't really matter now." She sighed. "And as for Aiden…..I'll talk to him before this reporter shows up." Spencer's gaze fell on the woman slowly approaching them.

Ashley shifted a bit in her seat. "Spencer about Madison, she's here."

"Ashley is Madison Hispanic with long wavy brown hair/eyes wearing a business like suit with black heels, holding a notebook?"

"Um, yeah that sounds like her." She gaped. "Have you met her before?"

Spencer shook her head 'no'. "Look who's coming towards the table." Ashley turned her head and was surprised to see the reporter walking towards them. "She looks like a reporter," She looked at Ashley. "Is that Madison?"

"Yeah, that's her." Ashley mumbled.

"Well it's good to see your feeling better," Madison said reaching the table, looking at Ashley.

"Have a seat." Ashley said motioning towards the empty chair sitting across from her and Spencer.

Madison did so and smiled at Spencer. "Hi, I'm Madison Duarte." She offered Spencer her hand.

Spencer took it and smiled back. "I'm Spencer-"

"Carlin." Madison added quickly. "Believe me, I know who you are." She pulled her hand back. "How's Aiden?" She asked casually. "I'm surprised he's not here with you right now. I heard he was in town…"

Ashley was nervous as hell but sat calmly and coolly in her seat, picking at the table cloth. "He's busy with the band." She answered evenly, meeting her gaze. "And I thought this interview thing was for me? Not Spencer."

Madison eyed Ashley with amusement. She assumed Ashley wasn't one of those attention whore celebrities but wasn't so sure now. Her eyes were hard, her tone was bitchy, and it was obvious she didn't want Spencer to have any of her spot light. "Well I wasn't really shooting for an interview when I came over here." She sat up straighter in her seat. "I was just making friendly conversation." She added defensively.

Ashley slowly shook her head from side to side. "That magazine you work for isn't paying you for 'friendly' conversations," She leaned back in her seat and casually folded her arms over her chest. "Is it Madison?"

"No, it's not." She replied trance like. Despite her sullen attitude, Madison still found the rock star to be incredibly sexy. Staring into her cold brown eyes, she could tell Ashley was going to be full of trouble. And trouble was always good for her career, and bank account. "¿Y qué puedo hacer yo para usted, Ashley?"

Her name was purred and that made Ashley grin a little. "Usted puede hacer su trabajo." She reached out and grabbed her coffee. "y entonces me sale solo."

Madison stood up from her seat. "usted estará rogando más cuando soy hecho con usted."

Ashley chuckled deeply. "I never beg."

We'll see. Madison faced Spencer. "It was nice meeting you, Spencer." She said before turning around.

Spencer watched Madison leave until she was out of sight and then turned to Ashley. "You guys were flirting." She stated confusedly. "What were you saying?"

Ashley drank some more of her coffee. "She asked 'what can I do for you' I said 'you can do your job and then leave me alone' and then she said 'you will be begging for more when I am done with you' and I told her I never beg."

Spencer was quiet for awhile. Her first impression of Madison wasn't bad at all. She thought Madison looked professional, except for her short skirt, and she seemed nice, but, what really threw her off were her eyes. There was something psychotic, almost seductive, about them and it made Spencer wonder what she was really after. Ashley or a report? "What do you think about her, Ashley?" She asked eyeing the rock star.

Ashley shrugged. "She seems okay." She looked into Spencer's grey eyes. "I wish she weren't here but I don't think she'll be as bad as I thought." She paused a moment. "We still have to keep a safe distance away from each other, but it won't be so bad." She leaned over and kissed Spencer's lips softly, not caring about the people in the room. "It's only for a few days, Spencer. We'll get through this."

Spencer smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

--------

Ashley stepped onto the tour bus and turned around when she reached the kitchen. She met Madison's gaze and opened her arms. "This is going to be home sweet home for the next few days." She hated being inside of the tour bus alone with Madison but didn't have much of a choice. Spencer went off to find Aiden while the other band members were eating in the restaurant with Pops. "What do you think?" She asked casually.

Madison looked around and was happy she didn't have to spend her time with the band in a van. "It's big and beautiful." She said eyeing everything in the room. "Probably worth more than the house I live in." She chuckled walking past Ashley. "Where am I going to sleep?" She asked eyeing the bunks with disgust.

Ashley grinned and walked up to her. "Well there's the top," She patted the top bunk. "And then there's the bottom," She kicked the bottom bunk. "Which do you want?" She asked meeting dark brown eyes.

Madison's lips curled up slightly. "I want you to be the top." She looked down at the bottom bunk and kneeled. "I'll just sleep happily under you." She called out slipping into the small sleeping space.

Ashley rolled her eyes. "That's fine with me." She walked towards the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. "So what do you think about underage drinking?" She asked opening the cold Heineken. "Does it make underage celebrities look bad?" She took a healthy swallow of her beer while throwing the cap away.

"Well…..it's not something I approve of and It does make underage celebrities look bad." she answered while lying in her bunk. "Why do ask."

Ashley took another swallow of her beer. "I was just wondering." She heard Madison stir inside the bunk and quickly threw her beer away in the trash compactor.

Madison stood from the bunk and ran her hands over her clothes while looking at Ashley. "So what would you be doing right now if I wasn't here?" She asked casually.

Heavy make out session with Spencer. Ashley shrugged. "I'd probably be outside smoking a cigarette."

Madison was a little surprised by the blunt answer. "Oh, you smoke?"

Ashley stuck her hands in her pockets. "Who doesn't?"

Well that was true, Madison thought. There was hardly anyone in Hollywood who didn't smoke. But most of them were doing it legally. "How do you buy cigarettes at your age? You're 17, right?"

"Right, and its called money." She shrugged again. "I happen to have a lot of it. So much that I can easily bribe the person working behind the counter to sell me a pack of cigarettes."

"Well Ashley I don't mean to sound so, I don't know, motherly or whatever but smoking is really bad for you." She said with genuine concern. "My grandfather died of lung cancer because of it."

"I'm not stupid, Madison. I know how dangerous smoking is." She smirked. "I just don't care."

Hearing the door open, Ashley turned her head and was glad to see Spencer step in. "Madison Pops wanted to talk to you." She said standing beside Ashley near the trash compactor.

"Excuse me."

Ashley joyfully watched Madison exit the bus before turning her attention back to Spencer. "That was fast. Did you talk to Aiden?"

Spencer groaned and pressed her face against Ashley's shoulder. "He hates me Ashley. He didn't let me say more than a handful of words before telling me to get out of his sight." She looked up at the rock star. "But he agreed to pretend to be a couple, so, mission accomplished, right?"

Ashley turned her head. "Right." She answered cupping the side of her face. Ashley kissed her briefly at first but Spencer wasn't having it. The blonde pulled her head down for more and then abruptly broke the kiss when Ashley slid her tongue into her mouth.

"Ashley have you been drinking?" She asked suspiciously.

"A little." She mumbled.

Spencer sighed, mostly out of frustration. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, always doing something bad. If its wasn't drugs than it was alcohol. Spencer just didn't understand it. She thought people mostly drank and did drugs because of depression, but wasn't she making Ashley happy? Was happiness enough to help Ashley. "Ashley, I….I.. don't know how to help you."She confessed staring deeply into her eyes. "Can I help you?"

Ashley moved away from Spencer. "I don't need help, Spencer." She stood by the fridge and faced Spencer with her hands buried deep in her pockets. "So don't worry about me, okay?" She added in a tone that told Spencer to drop it. But she didn't.

"Ashley you do need help." She pushed, stepping closer to Ashley. "Most people our age just don't do the things you're constantly doing."

Ashley frowned. "I hate to break it to you, Spencer but most people aren't me." She stared defiantly into grey eyes for a few more seconds before turning and walking into the back room.

Spencer sighed and walked over to the couch. She took a seat and stared blankly at the TV. She had no idea how to help Ashley, and Ashley did need help. Spencer slid her purse down her arm and took out her cell phone. Walking outside, she dialed her mom's number and waited patiently for her to answer. "Hey, Honey. How are you?"

Spencer leaned back against the tour bus. "Mom you sound out of breath…..did I catch you at a bad time?"

"Not really I was just working out but I need a break." Paula sighed as she got off her treadmill. "So what's up?"

Spencer wasn't ready to tell her mom about breaking up with Aiden, knowing her mother wouldn't like it, but she did have to talk to her. "Mom I need information, and I think you're the only one who can give it to me."

Paula started to worry as her daughter's serious, almost fearful, tone came through the receiver. "What's wrong, honey?"

Spencer swallowed hard. "Mom I have this friend and I think she's addicted to cocaine-"

"What?" Paula demanded sternly. "Spencer if your doing drugs-"

"Mom it's not me, it's my friend-"

"Oh, I feel better now knowing my daughters new friends are cocaine addicts." She paused a moment. "What the hell are you thinking hanging around drug addicts, Spencer?"

"Mom, it's one of the other band members." She explained sadly. "It's Ashley and I think she has a real problem but I have no idea how to help her." She looked down at her shoes. "I really care about her Mom."

"Spencer quitting cocaine isn't as easy as it sounds."

"I'll help her Mom, I just want to know how to do that."

"First of all Spencer, does Ashley want to quit?" She questioned calmly.

Spencer opened and then closed her mouth. She really had no idea if Ashley wanted to quit or not. If Ashley could quit or not. "I don't know." She answered honestly.

Paula sighed. "I'm sorry, Honey. But she has so to want to quit. Until then, You have two choices. Accept Ashley for who she is or move on. Make new friends." Please make new friends.

"Thanks, Mom." She murmured into the phone. "I have to get going now." She lied, not in the mood to talk.

After exchanging goodbyes, Spencer closed her phone and kicked a nearby rock. It seemed as though there was only two choices for her. Accept Ashley for who she is, a drug addict, or move on. She didn't want to move on, but she couldn't just stand around and watch Ashley do cocaine. She felt scared and angry but she was happy being with Ashley and she knew Ashley was happy being with her. Spencer looked at the back room window. She would be patient with Ashley, stay strong, until Ashley truly desired help for her addiction, because she knew it was pretty pointless to try to help someone who doesn't have the mindset, or desire, to quit something as addicting as cocaine. "You have to come around sooner or later Ashley." She murmured to herself. "This could kill you."

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Ashley sat in the passenger seat, playing her guitar. They were on their way to Texas and Ashley dreaded the long bus drive. She was used to being in the tour bus for hours at a time but would rather be on a plane and get to their destination in hours instead of a days. She looked in the back and watched Glen try to teach Spencer how to play Halo 2. They hadn't said anything to each other since Ashley locked herself in the back room, and it kind of worried Ashley. She wanted to fix things between them but couldn't since Madison was watching her like a hawk. It was very uncomfortable for Ashley being in the same room as the reporter. Madison would stare at her for long moments at a time before looking at her laptop and typing. It drove Ashley to the current position she was in now. Sitting next to AJ while playing her acoustic guitar.

AJ glanced over at her. "Can we please listen to the radio, Ashley? You're a great musician and all but I want to listen to something more…..fun."

Ashley stopped playing and looked over at him. "Are you saying my guitar playing is boring?" She questioned slightly offended. But then she remembered it was AJ's opinion and didn't care.

"No, it's just I want to listen to rap." He said bluntly. "I know you like rap to so put the guitar away and find us something fun to listen to."

Ashley wasn't in the mood to argue so put her guitar aside and turned on the radio. She set the sound system to only play in the front and stopped on the first rap radio station she found. Brown eyes flicked over to one of the side mirrors and her gaze landed on the 'Suffocate me Blind' tour bus riding closely behind them. She couldn't stand the thought of spending the rest of the day with Madison. "Next stop I think I'm going to go hang with Mike."

AJ shrugged. "Why are you telling me this? I don't care what you do."

"I'm telling you this so when I get off and don't come back on you'll know the reason why." She smirked. "Of course I wouldn't be surprised if you just drove off without me."

AJ smiled. "You know me to well."

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They stopped at a gas station around 9 P.M. and Ashley was ecstatic. She could finally get away from Madison and have a bit of privacy, maybe even some fun, with Mike and the other band members. Standing up, she looked around at everyone else and smiled. Spencer and Glen had fallen asleep on the couch, Spencer's head resting against his shoulder. Clay was in his bunk doing only God knows what, and Madison sat at the booth working on her laptop. She looked back over at AJ. "I'm not coming back on so drive off when you're ready." After AJ's nod she got off the bus and walked towards Mike. The blonde drummer was walking towards the store. "Hey, I want to spend the night, is that cool?"

Mike wrapped an arm around both her shoulders and pulled her close. Ashley could smell the alcohol and pot on his clothes and breath and it didn't bother her. She was too used to it. "It's very cool." He let go of her and moved away to open the store door for her.

Ashley stepped inside, not really wanting anything. She stood by the cashier and watched Mike grab a whole bunch of food. Mainly chips, candy, and lots of doughnuts, Twinkies, and rice crispy treats. She helped him carry some of the bags onto the bus and her blood raced with anticipation when she saw all of the drugs he had laid out on the kitchen booth. She looked around the room and realized Aiden was nowhere to be seen. "Where's Aiden?" She asked Mike.

He grabbed a bag of chips while answering, "In the back sleeping."

Ashley greeted the other band members before turning her attention back to the drugs. She stared at them for a while not really feeling anything other than anticipation. She didn't feel any guilt, fear, or disappointment as she picked up the razor blade and started pouring cocaine onto the table. Her mind screamed 'pathetic' but she didn't care as she cut up her lines. Nothing really mattered to her as she snorted the cocaine up her nose. She snorted 4 long lines for a good high and walked over to the refrigerator for a beer. Her highs weren't as great as they used to be but alcohol and pills helped solve that problem. She picked up a couple of pain killers and quickly swallowed them down with the beer. Her lips soon lifted into a smile as she started feeling the affects of the drugs. She walked over to the couch and flopped down next to Mike and the other band members. They were talking about guy stuff, mainly cars and sex, while passing around a bong. Ashley easily accepted it when it was passed to her and choked a little on the smoke before passing it on to Mike. Her gaze landed on her hand and shirt. Drops of blood was falling from her face but she didn't panic. With two fingers, she touched the skin under her nose, and didn't feel anything, but when she pulled her hand back she saw the blood staining her fingertips and laughed. "I'm so fucked." She slurred letting her had fall back on the couch. "So so fucked." But in a good way.

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Spencer felt the bus pull to a stop and opened her eyes. The room was completely dark and she couldn't tell whose shoulder she was sleeping on. Carefully, she brought her hand up to the person's chest and felt no boobs. It obviously wasn't Ashley, she realized while standing. She walked to the front of the bus and stopped in front of AJ. He was just standing from his seat. "Where did we stop?" She asked curiously.

"Gas station." He answered with a smile. "I'm following the bus your boyfriends on and I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up crashing into a mountain something."

Spencer looked confused. "What do you mean?"

AJ didn't say anything as he took Spencer's arm and led her to the large windshield. Spencer watched the driver for Aiden's band step out first. He looked and walked okay but then she saw Mike. He staggered out of the bus and had to hold on to it to keep from falling. John came out next and fell face first into the concrete. Her breath caught when she saw Ashley step out. She wore sunglasses, so Spencer couldn't see her eyes, but her body language told Spencer she was high on something. Ashley swayed as she stood in place, smoking a cigarette while laughing at John. Her other hand was occupied by a beer and there was dried blood all over her lips and chin.

"My God," Spencer gasped looking at AJ. He was just smiling at them all. "When did she leave? What time is it now?"

AJ met her gaze. "Well she got off around 9 and it's now…" He checked his cell phone. "2 A.M."

Spencer stared at Ashley a moment longer before turning around and getting off the bus. Feeling angry, she closed the distance between them and took Ashley's hand. She didn't want Ashley near her 'friends' a second longer. They were no good for her and it pissed Spencer off that Ashley liked them so much. The rock star didn't say anything as Spencer grabbed her hand and led them back to the bus, stopping occasionally to help Ashley off the ground when ever she tripped. Spencer could smell the drugs and alcohol on the rock star as she helped Ashley get on the bus, and it took all of her will power to keep from gagging. "You need a shower, Ashley." She said staring at the blood on her face. "Are okay with that?" She asked gently.

"Huuh?" She slurred grinning.

Spencer sighed and took that as 'yes'. They walked silently to the back, trying not to wake Madison; Spencer quietly opened the bathroom door and pulled Ashley into the room with her. Ashley lost her footing and fell heavily against the glass shower door, chuckling as she slid down to the floor.

Spencer was immediately on the floor with her. "Ashley you have to stay quiet, Honey." She whispered near her ear. "We can't wake Madison up." She removed Ashley's sunglasses and stared into unfocused, red, and terribly glazed brown eyes. "God Ashley." She gasped, trying not to cry. "Why do you do this to yourself?" She asked not really expecting an answer. Ashley was too busy staring intently at the bright light bulb to answer. The light did nothing to lessen how dilated her eyes were and that scared Spencer. "Come on, Ashley. You need a shower." She wrapped one of Ashley's arms around her neck and wrapped the rock star's waist with her arm and stood, bringing them both up. She let go of Ashley and quickly caught her before she fell down again. "Okay I guess standing isn't an option." She sat Ashley on the toilet seat and kneeled down in front of her. She took off her shoes first, and then moved up and removed her belt, pants, shirt and finally bra. Ashley didn't squirm at all as Spencer removed her clothes. She just sat still staring into the light bulb, smiling.

Spencer stared at Ashley and then the shower. She knew Ashley wouldn't be able to wash herself so stood up and started removing her own clothing. Completely undressed, Spencer opened the shower door and started the water. When it was warm enough she faced Ashley again and helped her stand. Standing, Ashley pushed her away and started hugging herself, shrinking away from the blonde. Spencer was confused by the behavior and could feel tears of frustration spill from her eyes. "Ashley," She whispered placing her hand on her shoulder. Ashley whimpered and violently shook the hand off her body. Spencer wiped off the tears running down her cheeks and walked slowly closer to Ashley. The rock star's back faced her and Spencer didn't stop until their bodies were a breath away. She leaned over and placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck. "It's okay, love," She soothed kissing the skin behind her ear. "Everything will be okay." She trailed kisses along her shoulders while one of her hands rested on her stomach, and gradually felt Ashley start to loosen up. "I love you so much, Ashley." She breathed resting her forehead against Ashley's left shoulder bladr. "Why can't that be enough for you?" Ashley didn't answer but Spencer didn't expect her to. When the rock star was relaxed enough she grabbed her hand and led them both into the shower. Ashley gasped as the warm water hit her skin and fiercely wrapped her arms tightly around Spencer's body, burying her head against her neck, she shivered uncontrollably.

"It's so..soo..fuc…fuc..king co..l..ld," She panted as her teeth began to chatter.

"It's warm, Ashley." She soothed running her hands up and down the rock stars back. "Shhh, just relax baby. We're almost finished." She murmured feeling the rock star shiver harder against her. Spencer only stayed long enough in the shower to wash Ashley's face before opening the shower door. "Okay, Ashley. We're getting out now." She explained gently, stepping out with Ashley following.

She dried Ashley off and then wrapped the towel around her shivering form. "Do you want to go to bed, Honey?" She asked cupping the side of her face. She looked into Ashley's bloodshot eyes and sighed when she realized the extent of her high. "What am I going to do with you?" She asked helping Ashley into the back room. The rock star immediately fell face first into the bed while Spencer closed and locked the door. She turned around and leaned heavily against the door while watching Ashley. She lied in the middle of the bed in the fetal position, shivering while scratching her arm furiously. "Ashley what are you doing?" She asked concerned while joining her on the bed.

Ashley continued scratching her arm despite feeling Spencer's hand on top of hers. She could feel them, thousands of them, just eating away at her skin as she fought hard to breathe. "Get them off Spencer," She pleaded with tears running down her face. "Just please get them off me."

Spencer stared helpless down at Ashley as she continued scratching her arm. She didn't understand what Ashley was talking about. Staring at her arm, Spencer saw absolutely nothing. "Ashley your fine." She reassured looking into her tear stained face. "There's nothing wrong with you, Sweetheart."

"I….I..can feel them," She sobbed, "Their everywhere, Spencer. Please just make them go away….. please.."

Spencer couldn't believe what she was seeing. Ashley lying in the fetal position, scratching the hell out of her arm, crying, begging, and stressing herself out. It made Spencer wonder what was so great about cocaine. Ashley looked like she was experiencing pain, not pleasure. Where's the fun in doing this drug? She asked herself. It tore her apart seeing Ashley so vulnerable, lost, and hurt, but it hurt even more knowing Ashley did this to herself, on purpose. "C'mere Ashley." She soothed, pulling the distraught rock star against her body.

Ashley buried her face into Spencer's neck while sobbing uncontrollably. The feeling wouldn't go away. She felt as if her skin was being eaten away at by millions of hungry ants. All of them crawling on her inner arm, just biting and tearing off her flesh. "Make them go away, Spencer. Please just make them go away." She repeated against Spencer's skin.

Spencer lovingly stroked Ashley's hair while whispering soothingly to her. She could feel her own tears pooling in tired grey eyes as Ashley continued to beg and sob. It hurt so much hearing Ashley's misery and pain but she didn't dwell on that for too long as she started stroking her bare back. "Shhh, Ashley you're okay, love. You're okay." She repeated closing her eyes. She continued stroking her back as if in a trance and started falling asleep as Ashley's sobs lessened.

Sleep was the last thing on Ashley's mind as she lied on top of Spencer. She felt the little ants on her arm move throughout the rest of her body and it was torturous feeling them tear off her flesh. As time passed her high started to slowly fade and she felt depressed as she started to come down. She cried for no apparent reason and didn't realize she was standing until she looked down at her feet. "Get the fuck off me," She murmured scratching her arm again. That did nothing and she was starting to get desperate. Dropping to her knees, she felt around under the bed and pulled out a black shoe box. Opening her cocaine kit, she pulled out the razor and started savagely cutting the skin on her inner arm, trying to kill the ants. She couldn't feel the razor cut through her skin as she made multiple large scratches all over her arm.

Spencer felt the bed shift and opened her eyes. She watched Ashley stand and was confused when she knelt down. She sat up a little and had watched the rock star pull out the shoe box. And then with horror filled grey eyes she watched Ashley slash her skin open several times with a razor blade. She was shocked still for a second and couldn't move. But she soon got over her shock and rushed over to the rock star. She quickly pulled the deadly razor blade out of Ashley's grasp just as she was about to slit open her wrist and took her hand. "My God, Ashley." She gasped staring at the bloody mess that was her inner arm. She looked into vacant brown eyes, "Why did you do this?" She asked softly.

Ashley looked down at her arm. "I…God, Spencer they were trying to kill me. I had to stop them." She explained frantically looking back into her eyes. "They wouldn't go away."

Spencer shook her head slowly side to side. "They were never there to begin with Ashley." She said with tears running down her face. "It was all in your head, Sweetheart."

Ashley tilted her head to the side. "My head?" She questioned with a small smile. "I don't think I have one."

Spencer dropped Ashley's hand and scooted back against the bed. "You have one Ashley. It's just….lost right now." She explained sadly.

Ashley stared at her moment and got on her hands and knees. She moved over to Spencer and kissed her chin softly. "I love you, Spencer." She said accommodating herself between Spencer's legs. Her face buried in Spencer's neck, Ashley smiled while closing her eyes. "Did you know that?" She asked quietly.

Spencer wrapped her arms around Ashley and kissed the top of her head. "I know Ashley." She let her head fall back and stared at the ceiling. "I love you too."

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A nightmare sprang Ashley up from bed and she groaned as soon as she felt the sharp pain in her arm. She brought it up for inspection and was surprised to see her forearm and wrist wrapped up. She thought back to this morning and remembered what happened with the razor blade but didn't know how her arm got wrapped up. Staring at the large bandage, Ashley felt nothing. Images of what happened, how she cut her arm multiple times, played through her mind and she still felt absolutely nothing. No disgrace, no guilt, not even embarrassment! And it was all very weird to her. For the first time in her life she felt detached from reality and nothing was real to her anymore. With surreal like movements, she carefully unwrapped her arm and stared at all of the dried up cuts feeling nothing. The bed shifted and Ashley didn't need to turn her head to know who it was. She looked over at Spencer and met concerned grey eyes. "I'm scared." She whispered honestly. "I've never felt like this before." She added looking back down at her arm. "I…I've never hallucinated so badly before," She shuddered as she remembered the feeling of ants eating away at her skin. "It scares me so fucking much, Spencer. I….I need help, don't I?" She looked over at Spencer with pleading brown eyes. "Can you help me?"

It felt so right being in her arms. Ashley smiled as she pulled back and met tired grey eyes. The smile slid off her face and formed into a frown. She realized how tired Spencer looked and felt bad. Looking away, she stood up and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. She was so sick of herself. It seemed as though tiring Spencer was the only thing she was good at. And it made her feel bad. "Spencer I'm really going to try." She faced Spencer and sunk to her knees, taking in Spencer's surprised expression; Ashley smiled softly and took her hand. "I mean it. I'm done with drugs."

Brown eyes focused solely on the grey ones looking back into hers. Spencer smiled, but it wasn't all too convincing. Ashley couldn't help but wonder if Spencer believed her or not. She looked away and bit down on her bottom lip. Could I really give up cocaine? The question seemed simple as it floated through her mind, but it wasn't. The soft white powder was her life. The only thing that has been keeping her up and running for so long in the music industry. Staring at the floor, Ashley didn't know if giving it up would be possible or not. Brown eyes closed as Ashley sighed. I guess Spencer isn't the only one who doesn't think I can do this. Feeling a hand cup the side of her face, Ashley opened her eyes and looked up into Spencer's encouraging features. "I'm glad you want to quit Ashley." Her smile tightened a little, worrying Ashley. "But-"

"You don't think I can do it." Ashley accused dryly. "But I guess I don't blame you." Her shoulders slumped as she moved away from Spencer; sitting with her back against the edge of the bed, she crossed her legs and stared blankly at her arm. God, the cuts looked terrible and Ashley knew the media would just love them. Her mind was already preparing itself for the bullshit stories that would come from them.

Hearing the bed shift, Ashley turned her head and watched Spencer sink to the floor next to her. She looked somewhat troubled. "Ashley, it's not that I don't think you can do it, It's just…" Spencer blew out a frustrated breath before continuing. "Are you sure you're completely finished with cocaine? You're not going to use on the weekends, when you're around it, or at some party?"

Ashley didn't hesitate answering. "I'm done Spencer. It's just getting way too out of control." She held up her arm. "Look at this. I couldn't even feel any of it," She stared at the light red cuts. "and that scares the shit out of me. I feel like I'm slowly slipping away from reality, and you. And I don't want that to happen. I love you Spencer." She met her gaze again feeling extremely nervous. Ashley Davies was not one to speak her emotions but when your on the verge of losing the ability to feel them, you get desperate.

Spencer smiled, and it seemed real, It was real, and that relieved Ashley. "Then I will help you, Ashley. But it's not going to be easy." Grey eyes lowered and landed on her arm. "Come on, let me wrap that up for you again."

Ashley silently stood up and took a seat on the bed, watching Spencer retrieve the first aid kit.

-----------

Ashley opened the door and stepped out with Spencer following behind. The bus pulled to a stop and she assumed they were at a hotel. Brown eyes met surprised blue and she internally groaned when Glen put down his magazine and stood up from the couch. "What the hell happened to you?" He asked taking her arm.

"Fuck." Ashley hissed quickly pulling her arm out of his grasp. "That hurt." She snapped.

"Sorry." Glen looked over at Spencer. She was standing at Ashley's side now. "What happened to her?"

Ashley answered before Spencer had a chance to open her mouth. "Nothing. It's not important."

"I beg to differ."

Ashley looked over Glen's shoulder and met Madison's eyes. She was sitting at the booth, laptop in front of her, staring amusingly at the scene. "Good morning." Ashley greeted, feeling slightly nervous. She had no idea how she was going to explain her arm to the reporter. "Sleep well?"

Madison moved her head from side to side. "I have a slight pain in my neck but other than that, I slept okay." She looked over at Spencer. "And how did you sleep?" Her eye brow raised a little. "Does Ms. Davies make a good roommate?"

Ashley fought back an eye roll as she looked over at Spencer. She knew Madison was just teasing by her tone but still felt nervous. Meeting grey eyes, she could tell Spencer was nervous too. "Yeah, I hope I don't snore too loud." She added playfully.

Spencer forced a slight chuckle. "You were fine, Ashley." She cleared her throat a little, avoiding Madison's gaze. "I think I'll go and check the hotel out now."

"Aiden was here this morning." Glen mentioned, burying his hands in his pockets. "He wanted you to meet him at the hotel's restaurant."

The idea of eating breakfast with Aiden made Spencer feel uncomfortable. She predicted awkward silences, name calling, and a lot of guilt. "Where are you headed, Glen?" She asked curiously.

"I was thinking of checking into my room." Glen said with a shrug. "Maybe take a nap."

"Cool, I'll follow you there." She looked over at Ashley. "See you later." She leaned over and gave Ashley a friendly peck on the cheek.

Ashley smiled as Spencer pulled back. "Alright."

Spencer said goodbye to Madison and walked out with Glen.

Ashley turned around, facing the fridge, and opened the door. She looked at everything they had to drink and grabbed a coke. "Isn't it a little too early to be drinking a soft drink?" Madison questioned from the booth, eyeing the red can.

Ashley opened the can and kicked the door closed. "No." She answered while facing the reporter. She took a short sip and watched Madison type something. "So…..how's the paper thing going?" She asked conversationally. "Have I been a good subject?"

Madison chewed on the inside of her cheek. "The paper is going okay and you've been a good subject. Believe me, I've dealt with worst." She motioned to the seat in front of her. "Please, have a seat. I have a few questions to ask you."

Ashley groaned but did what she was told. "Okay," she said taking a seat. "What would you like to know?"

Madison smiled, glad she didn't have to beg Ashley to cooperate, and looked back at her laptop. "Just some typical stuff. Where you were born, birthday, and hobbies."

Ashley sighed. She hated answering the typical questions. Mainly because they were the same questions she has had to answer, at least a million times before, over the span of her 17 years. "Okay, here we go. I was born in Los Angeles….."

-----------

Spencer said her goodbyes to Glen and started walking towards the restaurant. She was nervous while walking into the breakfast scented room. Seeing Aiden wasn't something she wanted to do, it was something she had to do. Unfortunately, remaining a hot couple, actually required them to occasionally hang out together. Reaching the small 'please wait' sign, Spencer smiled sweetly at the waitress in front of her and said, "I'm joining someone."

The waitress was momentarily star struck as she stared into Spencer's eyes. She had seen those eyes so many times before in magazines and the internet. She thought they were much lovelier in person. With a shake of her head, she got over it and allowed Spencer to go ahead and find Aiden.

Spencer said 'thank you' and looked around. The place was crowded, like any other breakfast place, but it didn't take long for her gaze to land on Aiden. He sat talking animatedly to the waitress standing beside him. Spencer raised an eyebrow at the scene and started walking towards them. She got a better look at the waitress' posture and bit back a smile. It was obvious the woman had the hots for him. Her stature screamed 'take me home and fuck me'. "Sorry to interrupt." She said pulling back the chair next to Aiden's.

Aiden quickly stood up. His face holding a guilty expression. "Hey." He said softly, kissing her cheek. "How've you been?" He asked moving behind her chair.

Spencer took a seat and smiled when Aiden pushed her chair in for her. "Thank you." She said watching him retake his seat. She looked up and was met by the waitress' disappointed/embarrassed gaze. "Hello..." She looked at her nametag. "Darcey. Um, are you taking drink orders?" She merely nodded. "I'll have a glass of orange juice, please." She wrote it down and met Aiden's gaze.

Spencer didn't miss the way her eyes slightly narrowed. "And for you, sir."

Aiden avoided her gaze and ignored the rude tone she used when saying 'sir'. "I'll have the same." She quickly nodded and stalked off.

"Did you get her number?" She teased, eyeing the waitress's retreating form. She was actually attractive; long blonde hair, blue eyes, great figure. She looked back at Aiden and noted the irritation etched over his face. "What's wrong?"

Aiden picked up his menu and started scanning through it. "Would it bother you if I get up and go get her number?" He asked with controlled anger.

Spencer internally sighed. She never did like his 'angry' tone. "No, it wouldn't. We're not together anymore."

Aiden put down the menu and looked at her. "So, you're just here to keep our 'image', right?" He asked, somewhat saddened by the thought.

"Well, I'm here because Glen said you wanted me here." Spencer looked away. "I'm sorry, Aiden. But yeah, one of the reasons I'm here is to keep our 'Image'." The only reason. "I know that sounds horrible but it's what's best for both of us."

Aiden nodded in agreement. "You're right. I'm sorry." Spencer looked up and met his gaze. "Listen. We might as well be on good terms while being this super hot couple." He smiled a little. "I'm done being mad at you. It's stupid. If I can't be you're boyfriend, can I at least go back to being you're best friend?"

Spencer smiled widely and threw her arms around him. "I'd like that very much." She said near his ear before pulling back.

Aiden also chuckled. "Good."

They continued staring into each other's eyes, with wide smiles, until the waitress made an appearance.

-----------

Seeing the waitress, Ashley snapped out of whatever spell had come over her. They looked so good together, she thought numbly while walking out of the restaurant. Madison had stopped the interview, after a couple of questions, due to Ashley's grumbling stomach. The plan was for Ashley to get a bite to eat, and then meet Madison back at her suite. But Ashley never expected to see Aiden and Spencer sitting so close, hugging, and then gazing into each other's eyes with stupid smiles plastered on their faces. Ashley shook her head, hating the fact that she was actually jealous. It was fake. Apart of some plan to convince the media that everything was good between them. That they were still the world's favorite couple. Ashley felt somewhat relieved, after reminding herself of the lie, but couldn't maintain the anger she felt as she stepped into the elevator. Spencer would never leave her for Aiden. Right?

Ashley stepped out of the elevator and found Madison's room. With a couple of quick knocks, she waited patiently for the reporter to open the door.

"That was fast." Madison stated surprised. "What did you eat?"

Ashley pushed passed Madison and entered the room. "Nothing. I lost my appetite." She looked around the room before meeting her gaze. "I need a cigarette." She stated flatly.

Madison rolled her eyes. "I don't smoke. I find it to be disgusting and suicidal."

"Well I don't." Ashley smirked. "I'm going to my room to smoke. If you want to finish this interview thing just join me." She fished in her pocket and pulled out her key card. Her scanned it."My room number is 342." She looked up. "Meet me there."

Madison agreed and watched Ashley leave the room.

-----------

"Oh, look Spencer, they've got omelets." He looked away from his menu and smiled at her. "Shrimp." Both faces scrunched up in disgust. "How gross does that sound." He set his menu aside. "I can't wait to go home and eat some real breakfast."

Spencer chuckled while nodding. "The greasy kind that cause heart attacks." She also set her menu aside and met Aiden's gaze. "So are you going to ask our waitress out?" She smiled amusingly as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "A blind person could tell you really like her." Thinking back, she remembered how tongue tied Aiden was after Darcey asked if he was ready to order. Of course Spencer helped him out by replying 'give us a couple of more minutes'.

He sighed and shook his head 'no', confusing Spencer. "I just can't ask girls out, Spencer. Hello, we're still 'together'. Not only would girls think I'm a pig but the rest of the world would think I'm an ass for cheating on you. It just takes one picture of me with another girl." He smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, I'm not as good as you are at keeping a secret lover."

Spencer looked away from him and played with the napkin holder. "I'm sorry about that."

Aiden waved it off. "It's all okay, Spencer. Maybe we're better off friends." He said, thinking of all the awful moments they shared as a couple. "When do I get to meet this new guy anyway?" He asked brightly. He was genuinely curious about who Spencer was dating now. "Have I heard of him?"

"Um," Spencer played with her hair, one of her nervous habits, and was glad the waitress chose that moment to reappear.

They both ordered ham and cheese omelets and Aiden let out a nervous breath as soon as she left. "What is wrong with you?" Spencer asked somewhat concerned. She had never seen him act this way before.

Aiden swallowed nervously before looking into her eyes. "Spencer, don't be mad but this is the same hotel I stayed at the last time we were here." Spencer raised an eyebrow and told him to continue. "I met her here and we went out for dinner that night. But nothing happened." He added quickly. "That's what we were talking about before you caught up with me. The night we met and had dinner."

Spencer didn't know how to feel. They were obviously a couple when he had dinner with another girl. But then she realized, it really didn't matter now. They weren't together anymore. "So you met her, had dinner, and then left?"

"Yeah." Aiden simply answered. "At one point she asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said 'yes' so nothing happened that night."

Spencer's eyes flickered over to the kitchen door. As if on cue, Darcey walked through holding a tray of food. "You don't have a girlfriend now." She said meeting his gaze, again. "I think you should go for her. Get her number or something." She shrugged.

"Spencer I already told you why I can't do that."

Spencer groaned a bit. "Then explain our situation to her, Aiden." She softened her tone a bit. "You can't stay single forever."

Aiden frowned. "Forever? Is that how long we're going to be in this 'relationship'?"

She thought a bit. "I'm not sure." She answered honestly. "It would make things easier though." She added unconsciously.

Aiden agreed and looked over at Darcey. She was standing by the table next to theirs, writing down another order. He looked back at Spencer. "You really don't mind if I get her number?"

Spencer smiled. "Go get her tiger."

Aiden smiled as he stood up. He blew out a breath before walking over to Darcey.

Spencer watched him, missing Ashley.

-----------

Ashley stood outside on the balcony, smoking a cigarette. She was tired and feeling very irritable. Her nose was one of her biggest problems at the moment. It was running non stop, like a running faucet. It was driving her crazy. She tried everything from blowing her nose to tilting her head back for a long period of time and nothing helped. "Damn." She murmured taking a long drag off her cigarette. "How long is this shit going to last." She groaned while grabbing her thousandth tissue. She held it tightly against her nose and kept it there for a couple of minutes.

Her mind started to drift and she found herself thinking about Spencer and Aiden. She knew they were over. But was it for good? And then there was Spencer. Ashley knew she wasn't gay. Duh, she had been with Aiden for so long. It made Ashley feel very insecure. And her insecurity was pissing her off. Driving her crazy. All the what ifs followed and Ashley couldn't stop them. What if Spencer was just experimenting? And what if she was her subject? Ashley quickly shook the thought off and chastised herself for thinking that way. Spencer wouldn't do that, she told herself. Bringing her hand up, she took another long drag off her cigarette before flicking it away.

Miserable, she walked back inside and flopped down on the couch. She looked around the room and her eyes landed on the pile of suitcases on the floor. She should be happy. Knowing she was going to spend another suite, and night, with Spencer should have done that for her. But it didn't. Closing her eyes, she let her head fall back and it wasn't long before she fell asleep.

-----------

Madison walked into the restaurant and smiled when her gaze landed on two familiar figures. They were both posing for the small cell phone a teenage girl was holding in front of them. Madison walked over just as the teenager was leaving. "Hello." She greeted Spencer and then looked over at Aiden.

He looked a lot better in person, she realized after sizing him up. "I'm Madison Duarte." She introduced herself, taking Aiden's larger hand in hers. "It's very nice to meet you." She added politely, enjoying the sight of his perfect smile.

They shook hands and Madison took the seat offered to her by Aiden. "I hope I wasn't interrupting anything." She said looking at Spencer.

Spencer shook her head 'no'. "We're just waiting for our breakfast."

"Mind a third wheel?" Madison asked, wanting to spend time with the famous couple.

Both Aiden and Spencer said 'no' and they all started talking about various subjects ranging from Hollywood to school. Madison found herself enjoying Aiden and Spencer's company. Their playful banter, childhood stories, and obvious adoration for each other brought an unconscious smile to her face.

"Here you guys go." Darcey brought over two plates and placed them in front of Aiden and Spencer. She looked over at Madison and asked for her order. Madison replied, "Hot chocolate would be nice."

Darcey wrote down the order and smiled at Aiden before walking off.

Madison raised an eyebrow and looked over at Aiden. His bright blue eyes were glued to Darcey's ass. "Enjoying the scenery?"

Startled, Aiden looked up and blushed while grinning sheepishly. "Yeah, the art in here is great." He mumbled, feeling like a scolded child.

Madison snorted and looked over at Spencer. She seemed amused and not mad like Madison expected her to be. Definitely not the jealous type, she concluded while looking back at Aiden's timid form. "How long have you two been together?" She asked conversationally.

"A couple of years." Aiden answered with a shrug. "What about you Madison, are you seeing anyone?"

Madison shook her head 'no'. "I fly solo." She cleared her throat a bit. "I have a two year old daughter living with my mother though."

That surprised Spence. Madison couldn't have been older than 21. "Wow, are you still seeing the father?" She asked curiously.

Madison dug in her purse and retrieved a small wallet size photo. She handed it to Spencer. "No, but he sticks around and helps with Tiffany."

Spencer stared adoringly at the photo in her hands. Baby Tiffany was just precious. Piercing green eyes, long brunette hair, light tan skin, and very white teeth shined beautifully through the small picture. "She's beautiful." Spencer praised handing the picture back.

Madison sighed as she also looked at the picture. Being pregnant in her junior year of high school had been a bitch but definitely worth it in the end. Tiffany was the best thing that had ever happened to her. "Yeah, I miss her so much." She tucked the picture back into her purse and looked back at the perfect couple sitting across from her. "So, do you guys plan on having any children?"

Aiden shifted in his seat and cleared his throat a bit. He looked over at Spencer and noticed the uncertainty washing over her face. He met Madison's gaze. "Well I want kids." He answered for himself. "And maybe a dog, too." He added, smiling at the thought.

"Sounds all American." Madison commented with a smile. "How about you?" She asked Spencer.

Spencer shrugged, truly not knowing. Kids. If she and Ashley stayed together for a long period of time, would they ever have any? She knew she shouldn't be thinking about it now. She was still so young. Kids were something she didn't want to deal with right now, but after staring at Madison's daughter, she did want a couple of kids of her own. In fact, she found herself feeling slightly jealous of Madison. "Yeah, someday." She answered quietly. Hopefully with Ashley at my side.

-----------

Ashley opened her eyes, hearing the front door close; she smiled softly as Spencer emerged from the hallway. "Hey," she greeted while stretching her body out. The couch had been very comfortable but the position she fell asleep in was not good for her neck. She winced as it slightly cracked. "How was breakfast?" She asked neutrally, watching Spencer place her left over box on the coffee table. She hadn't forgotten about seeing her and Aiden together, looking happy and very much the couple they were supposed to be. Her feelings were ridiculous but Ashley couldn't help the anger and jealously that rose up within her. "Did you enjoy it?" She snarled a little, her hands beginning to tremble as she clenched her fist tightly.

Spencer noticed as her eyes landed on her shaking hand. Sympathy washed over her and she remembered trembling was a major thing with Ashley when she needed cocaine. Her heart went out to her lover."Ashley, you need to relax, baby. I know you're cocaine craving are bad but-"

Ashley's short rueful laugh stopped her. "You think this is because of my cocaine addiction?" She asked holding her hand up. "Spencer this is because I'm so pissed off." She hissed, getting off of the couch. Walking across the room, Ashley stopped at the mini bar and eyed the contents sitting on top of it. She wanted something so bad. She needed something so bad. She hated what she was feeling. The alcohol would stop everything. It wouldn't be as good as cocaine but it would still help. God, she needed help.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and quickly shook it off. "Don't." She snapped, grabbing one of the bottles. She heard a sigh behind her but ignored it as she twisted the cap of the bottle off.

"Ashley."

"What?" She faced her and stared into puzzled grey eyes. "What?" She asked again, her voice rising, demanding she hurry up and speak. Her nerves were bad. She was so angry. Unconsciously she was still think about Spencer's sexual orientation. What if she didn't even like being in bed with me? Ashley's jaw clenched as her insecurities continued to fill her mind.

Spencer stepped back, startled by her vehemence tone. "Ashley, I don't understand why you're so mad."

Through the fog of her anger, Ashley saw the confusion etch over her face so clearly that it made her feel foolish. She knew she was out of line but had no control over her emotions. Her want for cocaine, along with other things, made her feel tense, angry, and very sensitive. She turned back around and placed the bottle back on the bar. Silently, she headed towards the couch and collapsed. She felt like shit. Covering her eyes with her arm, she lied there silently just wanting to be left alone. Feeling nauseated and exhausted, she knew she wasn't going to be very good company. "Ashley, talk to me. What's wrong?"

The words were spoken softly, making Ashley feel a little better. But not much. It was nice to know that she wasn't completely fed up with her. "It's nothing, Spencer." She mumbled. "I'm just hung over."

Spencer stared at her. She didn't like Ashley's answer. It was far from the truth and she knew it. But she also knew Ashley didn't want to talk about. Her brief stoic answer was proof of that. "You sounded really angry." She reminded calmly, picking Ashley's feet up, and slipping under them to sit on the couch. She placed them back on her lap. "You have nice feet." She mused out loud, massaging her petit foot.

Ashley removed the arm over her eyes and placed both her hands on her stomach. Staring amusingly at Spencer. The foot comment was completely random and it amused Ashley. "Please don't tell me you have a feet fetish." She joked with a grin.

Spencer laughed and shook her head softly from side to side. "No, it's just nice to be dating someone whose feet isn't covered in hair." She scrunched up her nose up in disgust as a mental picture of Aiden's hairy feet came to mind. "They're very nice." She added staring into Ashley's eyes.

Ashley looked up at the ceiling and was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry for acting like a total bitch." She took a deep breath. "I just lost control."

Spencer kept staring at Ashley, not saying anything. She was hoping Ashley would say more. Elaborate, but after 10 minutes of just sitting in total silence, she knew Ashley was finished talking, and that was upsetting her. "Is that all you're going to say?" She asked flatly.

Ashley was still staring at the ceiling as she briefly nodded her head 'yes'. "That's all there is to say." She lied, sounding slightly irritated.

Spencer saw right through the lie and pushed Ashley's feet aside. She stood up quickly, angry. Without saying a word, she stalked over to the front door.

Ashley saw her and sat up. "Where are you going?" She asked, slightly alarmed.

Spencer opened the door and then met her gaze. "Ashley I don't have time to play these stupid kindergarten games with you." She explained, letting some of her aggravation seep into her tone. She was tired and not in the mood for Ashley's stubbornness. "When you're ready to be an adult and discuss your problems, I'll be in Glen's room, ready to talk." She slammed the door, leaving Ashley cursing on the couch.

-----------

The music was blaring loudly throughout the entire bus when Ashley stepped in. She was way too pissed off to just sit in the hotel room alone. Needing to get her mind of herself, she decided to pay Mike a little visit. Spencer's departure bothered the hell out of her and she needed to do something, anything, to get her mind off it. Closing the bus door, she walked further into the bus and waved at everyone she passed. She recognized everyone there but didn't see Mike. "Where's Mike?" She asked the keyboardist.

He took a long drag off of his cigarette and pointed to the back room. Ashley didn't say anything as she walked passed the people and drugs hanging around in the living area. She reached the back room and opened the door. Her facial expression stayed neutral when she spotted Mike and some blonde making out on his bed. He quickly broke the kiss at hearing the door open and greeted Ashley with a smile. "Hey, whaddddddup?" He asked obviously drunk.

Ashley walked into the room and pulled the door closed. She spotted a stool and walked over to it, taking a seat. "I'm just really bored." She answered, eyeing the blonde who was sitting cross legged on the bed, only wearing her bra and underwear. She looked young, 18 or 19, and had a great body.

Mike noticed Ashley's appreciative gaze and smiled broadly. "She's really good Ash." He slurred slightly. Ashley looked over at him. "We can share her…." He offered with a shrug.

Ashley shook her head 'no' knowing Spencer wouldn't appreciate her having a three way behind her back. "I'm good." She answered not missing the look of disappointed on his face.

Mike looked at the blonde. "You can leave now. We're done here. There's some money in my jeans."

Everyone was silent as the blonde collected her clothes and money. Ashley chuckled when she left and looked over at Mike. He was lying flat on his back, in bed, staring at Ashley. "Where the hell did you find a prostitute?" She asked, motioning for him to toss her a beer out of the 24 pack he had sitting next to the bed.

Mike laughed as he reached over the bed. "I met her in a Mexican restaurant." He tossed Ashley a Budweiser. "I told her I wanted to fuck her and she said "only for the right price." He shrugged. "Rest is history."

Ashley popped opened her can and grinned. "Well that sounds nice." She took a sip. "Was she worth the money?"

"Hells yeah!" Mike answered enthusiastically. "You would have loved her Ash."

Ashley shook her head 'no'. "I don't think I would have." She's not Spencer.

-----------

Spencer smiled at Glen. He had just opened the door, his facial expression kind and curious. "Hey there." She greeted, stepping through the door. "Hope you don't mind having a little company." She faced him and watched as he closed the door.

"I don't mind you being here." He said meeting her gaze. "I'm a little surprised though. You usually spend most of your free time with Ashley….or Aiden." He mentioned casually while striding back over to the couch. A football game was playing on the TV and Spencer couldn't have been happier. She loved the sport, just like her dad and grandfather.

"I guess I need some me time." She blew out while taking the seat next to Glen. "I've just been really stressed." She let her head fall back against the arm of the couch and sighed. "I don't think I've ever been this exhausted."

Glen smiled sympathetically at her. "Yeah, it is kind of tough, touring and all, but you get used to it after a while."

"I hope so." She mumbled thinking about her relationship with Ashley.

Glen looked back at the TV. They were watching a football game from the 80's on ESPN classic. "This isn't boring you, is it?"

Spencer shook her head 'no', smiling. "I love football."

"Wow, a girl that loves football. No wonder why Aiden is so wild about you."

Spencer stayed quiet as she smiled kind heartedly at the comment. She didn't know if she should set Glen straight on everything. He already knew about her and Ashley's involvement, but had no idea she had broken up with Aiden. "We're not together anymore." She said softly.

Glen's head snapped over to her and his eyes widened in surprise. "Really?" He asked in disbelief.

She met his gaze and shook her head 'yes'.

"Wow." Glen stated somewhat shakily. "How or why did it happen?" He asked carefully.

Spencer didn't understand his hesitation. It was like he didn't like the fact that Aiden and her were over. "Um, It happened because I wanted to see other people." She answered tensely.

Glen knew better. "You mean Ashley, right?" He asked knowingly. Spencer nodded her head 'yes' and didn't like the look of sympathy that washed over his face.

"Is there a problem with that?" She asked guardedly. "You don't look too happy."

"I am not mad." He shot back quickly. "It's just….I've known Ashley a lot longer than you have Spencer." He took a deep breath and blew it out quickly. "I just don't want you to get hurt. I care about you, ya know? You and Ashley."

Spencer relaxed a little but not much. "What makes you think she will hurt me?"

"Come on Spencer. You've seen enough of her personality, lifestyle, and choices to know she won't be….faithful for long." He answered quietly. "Not only that, but her attitude, emotions, they are just haywire. Plus, don't be surprised when you see her in a club, or hotel room, with someone who isn't you."

Spencer wasn't angry. He mad a lot of sense. It was just sad that that's what he saw in her. "Thank you for your concern Glen, but I have faith in her." She said confidently. "I honestly think she's done with all of the bad things in her life. I strongly believe the drugs and casual sex don't mean anything to her anymore."

"Really?" He asked finding it all too good to be true.

"Yes really." Spencer pushed. "People change, Glen. And Ashley can too."

Glen turned his attention back to the TV. "I hope you're right, Spencer."

Spencer also turned her attention to the TV.

I hope I'm right too.

-----------

Ashley walked back into the hotel, staring at her feet as she made her way across the lobby. She probably would have stayed and drank more beer with Mike if one of the band members hadn't brought in a tray of cocaine. Deep down inside, she knew her only reason for hanging out with Mike was to avoid Spencer and have free beer. She knew it would help calm her nerves and forget about her problems. It didn't help as much as she thought it would. But then again, maybe she just didn't drink enough because right now her mind was focused solely on Spencer, and their current situation. Ashley didn't understand why Spencer wouldn't just accept her answer. She hated talking about her feelings and such. Plus, the feeling of embarrassment was not worth it. But then again, it sucked knowing she was more worried about her pride than how Spencer felt. "God dammit." She murmured while pressing the elevator button. It seemed as though there was no right answer, but Ashley knew there was. And as much as she hated the thought of being humiliated, she was going to talk to Spencer.

-----------

Ashley stepped out of the elevator and sauntered through the hallway, searching for Glen's suite. She had a pretty good idea which one was his and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw him step out of his room, about to close the door, but pausing when he caught sight of her. She smiled at him and quickened her strides to catch up. "Hey Ashley." He greeted somewhat stiffly.

Ashley sensed that something was wrong but didn't mention it. "Hey, where are you going?" She asked curiously.

Glen forced a small chuckle. Things had gotten kind of awkward when Aiden showed up at his door, looking for Spencer. Glen didn't want to be anywhere near the two, not knowing where they stood with each other, so made up some excuse to get out of there. Now, Ashley stood in front of him and he assumed she was also looking for Spencer. Oh lord, he thought dreadfully. "Um, I'm starving." He looked at his hand which was holding the door open. "Are you going in?"

She shrugged as a look of uncertainty washed over her face. "Is Spencer ther-"

"Ashley is that you?" She heard being called from inside. It was Aiden's voice and her body stiffened at hearing him.

"Yeah." She said back, staring at Glen. It was more like a glare but she couldn't stop her eyes from expressing the aggravation she felt. And then she realized it wasn't Glen's fault Aiden was hanging around her girlfriend like a stupid shadow and softened her facial expression. "Have a nice meal." She mumbled before walking through the door.

The couch's back faced the door and Ashley could easily make out a blonde head resting against the arm of the couch. She smiled briefly but then frown when she saw who was standing in front of Spencer. Wearing a tight muscle shirt and gym shorts. "Hello Aiden." She greeted him politely, giving him a hug. "What's going on?" She asked looking at Spencer.

Spencer casually sat up and kept her tone light as she spoke. "Nothing really. Aiden and I were just discussing dinner plans."

One brown eye brow crept up. "Dinner plans?" Ashley repeated slowly. Her smile was forced but believeable. "How wonderful, I suggest a steak house. They are wonderful around here."

"Oh steak sounds good," Aiden mused. "Is there a phonebook around here?"

Ashley pointed to a computer desk sitting in the corner of the room. "Right there."

Aiden thanked her and rushed off to the other side of the room.

Ashley turned her attention to the blonde sitting on the couch. "Follow me into first room." She spoke quietly, somewhat demandingly, for Spencer's ears only.

Spencer didn't hesitate getting up and following Ashley into one of the rooms. Closing the door, she faced Ashley and wasn't surprised when the distance between them was quickly closed. After being gently pushed up against the door, Spencer stared into dark brown eyes as they stood head to head, toe to toe, their lips only a breath apart.

"Dammit Spencer," She breathed, her warm breath softly caressing her cheek. "You're bothering the hell out of me."

Spencer was about to open her mouth but froze when she felt Ashley's lips crash upon hers. Ashley felt her resist in her arms for a brief second but then Spencer gave up and molded her body against hers. Their lips and tongues clashed as their kiss intensified. Ashley roughly kept Spencer to her as she felt her hands bury themselves in her auburn hair. Unconsciously, their bodies stumbled away from the door as their kiss deepened, losing some of its urgency.

The feeling was incredible. Ashley had missed it. Feeling safe, wanting more, always wanting more of Spencer, and the trust; Ashley felt a need to just give herself over to her and never leave. Her heart was racing as she fell on the bed, flat on her back, with Spencer quickly finding her way on top of her. They continued to kiss as Ashley ran her hand over her, cheek, down her neck, and over the swell of her breast, pausing when she heard her light gasp.

"Wait, Ashley." Spencer breathed, tearing her mouth away from a somewhat confused Ashley. "We have to talk."

Ashley slipped her hands under the hem of her shirt. "So talk." She challenged, enjoying the feel of her soft warm skin under her hands.

Spencer said absolutely nothing before attacking Ashley's lips with renewed passion. Ashley moved her hands down Spencer's body and slipped her hands underneath the waistband of her jeans, bringing their bodies closer together. The sensation emitted a deep moan from Ashley's throat. "Oh…god." She groaned, moving her head away from Spencer's lips. It wasn't long before she felt them trail down her neck. "Spencer, I need you so bad." She gasped desperately, feeling Spencer's thigh against her center.

Spencer stilled on top of her as reality came crashing down on her. "We can't." She said abruptly, shifting to get off Ashley.

Ashley quickly grasped her shoulders, trying to keep her from leaving, and groaned when she broke away from her and moved off the bed. "Why not?" She hissed. "I know you want to." She added hotly.

Spencer stood fixing her clothes in front of the bed. "One, Aiden is just in the other room," She met her gaze. "And two, we still need to talk about earlier."

"I don't give a fuck if Aiden is in the other room." Ashley sat up. "Tell him to leave."

Spencer snorted. "Oh right, I'll just tell him to leave so we can have sex."

Ashley's face stayed serious. "Perfect."

She sighed tiredly. "You know I can't do that Ashley."

The rock star's face softened sadly as she fell back on the bed. "I know." She murmured, understanding Spencer's hesitation. Neither teen was ready for the risk of someone finding out about their relationship. It was okay for Glen to know because he would never tell a soul, but telling someone like Aiden could be trouble. He may tell the media, and then Spencer's parent would find out, along with the rest of the world, and Ashley didn't want her to go through so much bull shit over her.

It wasn't long before Ashley felt the bed shift. She looked over and smiled at Spencer. She was lying on her side facing her, her cheek resting casually on the palm of her hand. "I wish things were simpler, ya know?" She mused wistfully.

Ashley nodded but didn't say anything.

Spencer sat up and crossed her legs as Aiden walked into the room. "Good news," He started looking at Spencer. "I called this amazingly expensive steak house and made reservations." He smiled widely walking over to the bed. "We're going to have an amazing dinner."

Spencer scrambled off the bed and jumped into his arms, smiling. "That's great." She pulled back and looked over at Ashley. The smile slid off her face. The rock star's eyes were dark, narrow, and cold. The expression on her face was just as cold, but Spencer only caught a glimpse of it, and finally realized what Ashley's problem was. She was jealous of Aiden.

"Ashley." She pulled completely away from Aiden and faced the teen that was now sitting up on the bed.

Ashley shook her head and got off the bed. "I have to go." She said briefly, walking out the door.

Spencer looked apologetically up at Aiden before chasing after Ashley.

Ashley heard Spencer call her name but ignored it. She was too upset to care. Her hand reached out to take the doorknob but was stopped by Spencer's hand wrapping around her wrist. She tore it out of her grasp and glared into concerned grey eyes. "Do you need something?" She asked flatly. "I have things to do." She added somewhat impatiently.

Spencer internally groaned. She knew, and hated, the Ashley she was dealing with now. Her mind drifted back in time and she remembered the dinner they had with Kyla and Brenda. She also remembered the major bitch Ashley was that night and realized Ashley was in that mode now. "Come with us." She offered somewhat desperately. "Come with us to the steak house. It'll be fun, Ash."

Ashley shook her head, declining. "I can't." She forced a smile and leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on her lips. "Have fun." She murmured quietly, turning back towards the door.

"We're not leaving until after the show." Spencer added watching Ashley grab the doorknob. "Let's do something, until the show. We can maybe find a mall, movie theatre, Oh or maybe-"

"I really do have things to do Spencer." Ashley said regretfully, letting go of the doorknob and facing her. "But Texas is a beautiful state. You and Aiden should go do some sightseeing."

Spencer's didn't even try to hide her disappointment. "Okay."

There was nothing left to say so Ashley grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. Before she could step out, Spencer called her name a final time. Ashley looked over her shoulder and met her gaze. "Promise me, no drugs."

The request took Ashley somewhat by surprised but she quickly got over it. "I promise."

They exchanged quiet I love yous and then went their separate ways.

-----------

After leaving Glen's room, Ashley spent the next 20 minutes looking for Madison. When she reached her room, she found a note on the door from Madison. It said to find her when she got it. Now, Ashley was aggravated to the point where she couldn't even think straight. "Ah fuck it." She walked through the lobby and walked out of the hotel. She was tired of looking and decided she needed some fun. Since drugs were off limits, she decided to just spend her time with Mike, drinking.

Reaching the tour bus, Ashley was surprised to see Madison walk off the bus. "Hello." She greeted the reporter, "I've been looking all over for you." She explained angry. She looked at the bus. "What were you doing in there anyway?"

Madison groaned. "Looking for you."

Ashley met her gaze again. "Looking for me?" She smiled. "Who told you I'd be in there?" She wondered curiously. She knew Madison had no idea where she spent her time. "I know I didn't."

"Almost everyone I came across told me that's where you'd be." She rolled her eyes. "It took me forever to find that fucking bus." She thought a bit. "Why aren't those men in a hotel room?"

"Did you see all the drugs they had in there?" Madison nodded her head yes. "That's why."

"Oh." Madison stared questionably into Ashley's eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Ashley saw Madison's interest peak and snarled. She walked slowly up to Madison and didn't stop until their faces were inches away from each other. Her anger came off her in waves. "I planned on going in there to hangout and maybe even drink a little, or a lot, I haven't decided yet." Her eyes continued to bore violently into Madison's. "I promise you'll regret spying on me and pulling out a digital camera-"

"Ashley you don't have to worry about me taking a picture of you in there." Madison cut in quickly. Ashley didn't look convinced. "Sure, normally I would do that. Taking a picture of you in there, with all of those drugs, drinking, that would make me thousands of dollars, may even get me a promotion, but I can't."

"Why?" She pushed.

"Because I actually care somewhat about you." Ashley raised an eyebrow, making Madison smile a little. "I didn't at first but I don't know….you've grown on me."

Ashley saw and heard nothing but sincerity. She took a few steps back, giving her a little breathing space, and sighed her relief. She was glad she didn't have to worry about Madison screwing her over. "Thank you." She said. Madison nodded her head and Ashley took that as her cue to leave. Silently, she walked passed Madison and entered the tour bus.

-----------

Everyone in the limo was tense as they waited for Rachael. Spencer let her head fall back against the window and sighed. She had fun sight seeing with Aiden but was still worried about Ashley. She called the rock star a couple of times and had gotten no answer. Now, sitting in the limo with Pops and the rest of the band, she was beyond feeling worried. Nobody had seen Ashley or Mike. They were last seen leaving the tour bus and headed towards a liquor store. Spencer didn't want to believe Ashley was drinking but found it hard not to.

The limo door opened and Rachael stepped inside. "I'm sorry Mr. Davies but I couldn't find her anywhere."

Pops frowned and told the driver to start driving. "I'm sure she's at the show already, Pops." Glen said quietly. He hated when Pops was in a bad mood because his negative energy usually affected them too. "She wouldn't miss another show."

Pops snorted. "I'm not too sure about that." He looked back at Spencer. "I still don't see how you don't know where she's at." He mused. "I thought you two were fu-"

"Friends." Spencer cut in quickly, not wanting everyone, especially Aiden to know about her and Ashley. "Yes we are friends but she doesn't tell me everything." She answered hastily, glaring at Pops.

Pops was slightly confused but then he looked over at the person sitting next to her. It was Aiden, and he mentally slapped himself. He hadn't seen him there. "Right." He cleared his throat while staring somewhat apologetically at Spencer. "Well if she's not there then we're fucked." He said staring down at his cell phone. "But she doesn't care about that." He laughed humorlessly. "No, Ashley Davies doesn't care about anything," His eyes flickered up to Spencer's and they locked briefly as he spoke. "Or anyone but herself." He stared back down at his phone, leaving Spencer sitting deep in thought.

-----------

They finally made it to the concert hall after fighting tons of traffic. Spencer stepped out and entered the building with Aiden at her side. They followed Pops and the other members through a large hallway that took them to a door. Pops opened the door and everyone walked through, stepping into another hallway. There were rooms everywhere, dressing rooms and lounges. Food tables were set up everywhere.

"Have you seen Ashley?"

Spencer heard Pops ask. She turned her head and watched as the tall blonde man shook his head 'yes'. "She came in about 20 minutes with Mike." He stroked his chin as he spoke. "They went into her dressing room." He pointed down the hall. "5 doors down, on the left."

Spencer turned her attention to Aiden. He stood yawning next to her. "I'll be in the bathroom." She lied. "See you in a little bit, okay?"

Aiden smiled, fighting the urge to lean forward and kiss her. "Alright." 

Spencer flashed him a small smile before heading down the hall. It was chaotic. Most of the rooms were open and there were make up and hair artists running around everywhere. Reaching the room, Spencer took a moment to brace herself before opening the door. The room was full of people. At least 20 of them. There was cigarette smoke everywhere and through the fog of it all, Spencer could see the drugs. Despite her better judgment, she stepped in looked around for Ashley. It didn't take long for her to find her. She sat on the couch, downing a shot. Mike was sitting next to her doing the same. "Ashley." She called out when she was in earshot.

Ashley put her drink down and looked around with unfocused eyes. She smiled widely when she found the owner of the voice. "Sp spencceeerrr," She slurred, standing sloppily off the couch. "I I missed yooouu baby."

Spencer's eyes widened slightly when the word 'baby' slipped out of her mouth. The people within earshot of them were staring curiously at them, making Spencer nervous. She watched as Ashley walked unsteady towards her. "You've had a little too much to drink, Ashley." She said loudly. "I'm not your baby."

Ashley looked confused but didn't say anything other than okay. Despite the lie, Ashley continued smiling and even threw her arms tightly around Spencer, hugging her to death. "I love you I love you I love you I love you…" She repeatedly whispered near her ear.

Spencer broke the embrace and looked around shakily. "Um me too." She said quickly, before grabbing Ashley's hand hard. "We have to go now, Ash. Pops wanted to see us." She spoke obnoxiously loud, not wanting any rumors to spread. She had no idea who the people in room were. Any of them could have been reporters and she didn't want to take a chance of them making something up about them leaving the room together, hand in had.

Ashley didn't say anything as Spencer practically dragged her out of the room, obviously upset. Their journey didn't last long. Spencer quickly found an empty room and moved them there. She closed and locked the door before facing Ashley. She stood swaying lightly as she looked around for something else to drink. "Ashley." She spoke curtly. Bloodshot brown eyes turned and met hers. "Please tell me you didn't do any drugs."

Ashley enthusiastically shook her head 'no' from side to side. "Abs asolutely no drugs." She confessed proudly, relieving Spencer slightly, but not much. Most of her disappointment expressed evidently over her face.

Ashley noticed this and closed the distance between them, nearly tripping as she did so. "What's wrong? You look mad." She cupped the side of her face and stared into her eyes. "Did I make you mad?" She asked with a lazy smile.

Spencer looked away from her hazy gaze and stepped away from her. "I'm not mad, Ash." She mumbled, moving back towards the door. "I'm just not happy with you right now." She explained with a sigh.

Ashley's face filled with panic before she dashed over and pulled Spencer into a frantic hug. Her head resting hard against her chest. "I'm sorry, Spencer. I'll do better, much much better. Please don't be mad." She pulled back and looked into her face. Her grey eyes were filled with sympathy. "I can be better Spencer. I promise I can be better."

Spencer cupped the back of her neck and beckoned her to her. She placed a light kiss on her forehead. "I know Ashley, and I'm not mad." She pulled back and met her gaze. Ashley smiled and bent down, intent on kissing her, but Spencer quickly moved her head away while lightly pushing her away.

Ashley looked hurt and opened her mouth to say something but Spencer quickly interrupted her. "We have to go. I'm sure Pops is wondering where we're at."

Ashley just nodded dumbly and followed Spencer out.

-----------

The show went well at first. Despite her intoxicated state, Ashley played all the songs right and didn't do anything too foolish. But then, out of nowhere, she gagged and quickly rushed behind a large speaker to puke, ruining one of the songs. Nobody panicked or obsessed over it though. After throwing up, she went back out on stage and continued playing. When the show finally ended, everyone relaxed back stage for a few minutes and then headed towards the meet and greet table. Only Ashley was absent from the meet and greet. She had other things to do.

Walking outside, Ashley smiled when she saw Mike and a crowd of men and women surrounding him. She forcefully broke through the crowd and grabbed a beer from the open ice chest by the tour bus door. Music from inside the bus was blaring loudly and everyone in earshot was either dancing or making out to it. Ashley stood next to Mike who had three girls around him. He motioned for one of them to go to Ashley, which she did easily. Ashley continued drinking but froze momentarily to eye the lovely brunette in front of her. She lowered her drink and greeted the equally drunk girl with a hug.

-----------

Spencer walked out, exhausted, with Aiden at her heels. She couldn't wait for dinner. Her stomach had been growling throughout all of the meet and greet. It obvious she was starving. Loud music filled the quiet night air and Spencer wasn't surprised to see Aiden's tour bus to be the cause. Mike was dancing provocatively with a groupie in front of the large bus, along with other people. But none of that bothered her. Her grey eyes landed on someone and she froze. Ashley's back was facing her and grey eyes narrowed on the hands that were roaming up and down her lover's back. She looked up at Aiden. "I'll be right back." He nodded as she strode off.

The closer she got to the rock star the more she could see. Ashley had some girl pinned up against the tour bus, making out, and practically having sex right there, out in the open. Spencer stopped right beside the two and kept her emotions at bay. She was angry, furious, but she also knew the state Ashley was in. Drunk out of her mind. "Ashley." She said sternly, getting both hers and the groupie's attention.

"Huh?" Ashley said dumbly.

"We have to go." She grabbed the rock star's hand and led them both away from the tour bus, ignoring the complaining brunette behind them. Ashley willingly followed Spencer, not really having much of a choice. The grip Spencer had on her wrist was far past a death grip, but Ashley was too drunk to care.

Spencer walked over to Aiden and apologetically cancelled their dinner plans. He was very understanding, assuming she was going to help Ashley stay out of trouble, and some groupie's bed.

They quietly strolled through the parking lot, only stopping when Ashley needed to puke. It was all very disgusting but it didn't bother Spencer so much. She had seen much worse at the hospital her mom worked at. "Are you okay?" She asked, soothingly rubbing the small of Ashley's back.

They had to stop for the 3rd time after Ashley starting gagging again, mostly dry heaves. "Fine." She slurred, allowing Spencer to lead her towards the tour bus. When they finally arrived, Spencer greeted Madison, Glen and Clay before taking Ashley to the back room. At this point she didn't care who saw her and Ashley in the room together.

-----------

Ashley fell face first in the bed, fully clothed, and immediately passed out. Spencer stood watching her sleep. She didn't want to think about what she saw near the tour bus. Ashley kissing that other girl. She closed her eyes and reminded herself Ashley was drunk. But was that really an excuse? She opened her eyes and walked towards the sleeping rock star. Carefully, she removed her shoes and rolled Ashley over on her stomach. Yeah, she was mad at Ashley, but that didn't stop her from removing her own clothes and getting into bed with her. She slept rolled on her side, on the far end of the bed, her back facing Ashley, leaving plenty of room between them. It wasn't long before she fell asleep.

-----------

Morning came and Ashley felt like crap. She was hung over and very alone in bed. Her thoughts strayed back to the night before and she remembered most of everything. The pictures in her head were somewhat hazy but they were still there. Reminding her of all of the bad things she did the night before. The worst part was remembering the make out session she had with some other girl. She groaned as the memory replayed in her mind. The worst part was knowing Spencer had witnessed it too. "Today is going to suck." She sat up and got off the bed, not bothering to change her clothes; she opened the door and stepped into the other room.

Everyone was doing their own thing. They were still on the road, heading towards Florida. Ashley wasn't surprised when nobody, including Spencer, looked up to acknowledge her. Not that she blamed any of them, she assumed it was because she messed up one of the songs from their last show, oh, and missed the meet and greet. With an internal shrug, she walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a Sunny D. She closed the refrigerator door with her foot and leaned heavily against it, drinking her Sunny D. She watched Madison type on her laptop for awhile and then moved her head. Her eyes locked with Spencer's. Her tired grey eyes expressed nothing less of hate and disappointment. Ashley turned away and walked back into the room. She didn't want to feel anymore guilt or shame. She just wanted to sleep.

-----------

The rest of the day flew by the same way. Ashley and Spencer said nothing to each other and both did their best to avoid each other. It was hell for Ashley. The tense silences, awkward glances, it was almost too much for the rock star. She couldn't wait to get out of the small space that was their tour bus. Being so close to Spencer while things were tense between them was awful. Things finally looked up when they checked into a hotel. She and Spencer didn't get separate rooms. The hotel couldn't spare anymore rooms due to the holidays. But Ashley didn't plan on staying the night there with Spencer. Sure, she missed her terribly and hated herself for what she did. But then again, it didn't surprise her. Nothing good in her life ever lasted.

Walking towards her room, Ashley stopped and turned around when she heard her name being called out. She smiled tiredly at Rachael. "What's up?" She asked with a yawn.

"Pops wants to see you." She informed grimly.

Ashley sighed and walked with Rachael to Pops suite. The last person she wanted to deal with at the moment was Pops but she was too tired to be defiant. After knocking on the door, it wasn't long before Pops opened the door and beckoned her in. "So what did I do wrong this time?" She asked calmly while taking a seat on the couch. "Am I seen in some magazine puking behind a speaker?" She joked with a grin.

Pops shook his head slowly, standing with his hands on his hips. Not looking very happy. "Ashley, what is the purpose for Madison being here?" He asked coolly.

Ashley shrugged. "To make my life more complicated."

Pops didn't smile. "No, she's here to make you look better. Clear that bad image you've recently made for yourself." He sighed deeply. "But I don't think its working. What about you?" She didn't say anything, or move. Just sat there quietly staring at the floor. She looked like a scolded child in Pops' eyes. "So far she has seen you with beer, cigarettes, and everyone saw you with that whore last night." His frown deepened. "What the fuck is wrong with you Ashley? Are you fucking blind? You're doing all of this shit in front of a fucking camera and that doesn't bother you one bit, right? Why don't you just admit you don't care about this band, or the people in it."

Ashley looked up. "I do care."

"Well you're doing a damn good job showing it." He snapped. Rubbing the sides of his temples, he walked past Ashley and stopped at the entrance of the kitchen. "I don't give a fuck anymore Ashley. You're dead to me. Do whatever the fuck you want."

Ashley heard as he walked into the kitchen and stood up. Without any hesitation, she walked out the door and slammed it on her way out. There was only one destination in her mind as she walked through the lobby and out the door. The day had sucked and her body was overflowing with emotion. Guilt, shame, regret, the shit between her and Spencer; It was all just too much for Ashley to take. She needed something to take some of the edge off. And she knew where to find it.

It wasn't long before Ashley found Mike's bus. A lot of the lights were on, indicating a small party. She wasted no time opening the door and walking onto the bus. She greeted everyone before walking into Mike's room. He sat on the bed snorting cocaine with a couple of friends. Ashley didn't acknowledge them as she took a seat on the bed and took the silver plate. The cocaine was screaming her name and she needed it so bad. Every pore in her body was yearning for it, and she was going to sate her cocaine cravings. Taking the rolled up 100 dollar bill, Ashley brought it up to her nose and snorted 3 lines. The feeling was incredible. Feeling the slight burn up her nostrils and down her throat as the cocaine entered her system, it was something she had missed immensely. Yeah, she felt guilty, shameful, and she was going to regret it. But as time passed she didn't feel any of it. She passed the tray back to mike and lied back on the bed.

A small smile formed over her lips and everything was perfect again.

-----------

Spencer stared at the alarm clock sitting on the night stand. She had found a small stash of cocaine in a pair of Ashley's jeans. She wasn't snooping or anything. The jeans were sticking out of her suitcase and when Spencer tried to fix it the small clear bag just dropped. Spencer threw it away in the small wastebasket by the bed. Ashley didn't need any temptation.

The room was dark and warm, just how she liked it. She should have felt comfortable, sated, and relaxed but she didn't. Lying in the expensive bed did nothing for her. She still felt tense angry and sad. Ashley was on her mind. She hated that Ashley was all she could think of. She even dreamt of the rock star! It seemed as though Spencer couldn't get away from her. Even when they were physically apart, it was like they were still so close. Spencer didn't understand it. It was like Ashley was her drug. She constantly craved her company. Just being around Ashley, when things were good, made her feel so happy and content. There was a downside to that though. When things were a mess, it made things so much more painful for Spencer. In fact, at this very moment, her eyes are closed but there are still tears seeping out. Spencer was crying for herself.

And for Ashley.

-----------

She was on top of the world stepping off the bus. She felt like a fucking king. Everyone, everything, was just shit to her. Everything was below her. She had no problems, there was no Spencer, there was nothing. Pops? She had no idea who that was. Her head was held high as she walked. She looked everyone in the eye and loved it when they couldn't meet her gaze. Watching their eyes lower to the street made her feel amazing, invincible, she was superman. The title made her grin. There was so much energy pulsing through her, it was amazing. She felt like she could do anything. Anyone. Her grin lifted into an all out smile. She didn't want just anyone. She was way too good for just anyone. No, she wanted someone special, someone she cared about, someone who hated her.

Ashley strode confidently into the elevator. Her mind was full of anticipation but her demeanor was cool and confident. The cocaine had woken her deepest, darkest, desires and she was going to stop at nothing to sate them. The elevator stopped, the doors opened, and Ashley stepped off with dirty intentions. She would have Spencer tonight, God how she needed the blonde. At that moment, she didn't know or care about where they stood in their relationship. The only thing that mattered was her yearn for the blonde's body.

The room was dark when she stepped silently inside. The large window was open, revealing the gorgeous stars and moon. Ashley took a moment to admire the night sky. It was perfect for what she was about to do with Spencer. The name floated through her mind and she turned her head. She had to see her, admire her, and be with her.

Spencer slept soundly on her side. The cover that once covered her bare body was now sprawled out on the floor, giving Ashley a full view of her body. Shadows covered a lot of her perfect form but Ashley could still make out everything. And she loved what she saw. Who she saw.

Ever so slowly she removed her own clothing. Her demeanor was still cool and confident, her eyes shining with admiration and want as she stared at Spencer's body. She was hungry for it and she was going to devour it.

The bed made no sound as she placed each of her knees atop of the mattress. Quietly, she sat watching Spencer's sleeping face closely. She seemed peaceful, at ease, and there was even a small smile plastered on her lips. Apart of Ashley didn't want to disturb her. She moved forward and crawled over to her. An even bigger part just didn't give a fuck.

Ashley placed one of her hands on the other side of Spencer, her arm leaning against her abdomen. She lowered her head and placed feather like kisses along her upper arm, stopping at her shoulder. Her mouth hovered over her ear. "Spencer," She whispered, "I need you so bad Baby." She nipped lightly on her tender lobe and smiled when she felt Spencer stir. "Come on, baby. I know you want me." Her hand roamed up over her soft skin, stopping to stroke the skin on the curve of her hip. "That's it." She urged Spencer on her back and dipped her head, kissing the hollow of her throat. Ashley placed kisses down her body until her mouth was met with a hardening nipple. She wasted no time taking the pink bud into her mouth, loving the little gasp that echoed loudly through the room. Her hand moved up along her abdomen and stopped at her breast. A small hum of approval left her throat as she felt the hardness of the other bud against the palm of her hand.

She wanted to feel all of Spencer against her. Her warm skin was so intoxicating. Ashley was a junkie for it. She settled her body atop of hers and placed a soft kiss on the skin where her neck met shoulder. Brown eyes closed as Ashley dipped her head, hovering over an erect bud.

Grey eyes tightened as Spencer felt a familiar body covering her own. The blonde moaned as she felt a thigh being pressed up against her aching center and her nipples being thoroughly teased. She didn't want to open her eyes, thinking it was all just a dream. She had never experienced a dream that felt so real and she didn't want it to end. "Ashley," She murmured when she felt a gentle breath caress her aching nipple.

"I'm here, Spencer."

Grey eyes opened wide and a look of panic spread over Spencer's face when she realized it wasn't a dream.

Ashley felt Spencer's body tense and looked up. She met her grey eyes and saw the fear and confusion. Ashley grinned and moved up, resting her elbows and either side of Spencer's face, she stared down at the blonde. The shadow over her face hid the cocky expression she wore.

Spencer finally found her voice. "Ashley we can't-"

"Why not?" Ashley whispered gently, "There's no Aiden." She kissed her forehead, "No Madison," She lowered one of her hands and began caressing the side of her face. "There's only you and me, Spencer." Her hand drifted down Spencer's face. She enjoyed hearing the change in Spencer's breathing. It was quickening, a definite sign of arousal. "I know you want me Spencer. Why fight it?" She asked softly, her hand caressing the sensitive skin on her neck, making Spencer tingle all over.

"Ashley we have to work things out first." Spencer breathed as she leaned into Ashley's touch. "Things are a mess between us."

Ashley smiled widely. "No, things are perfect." Spencer opened her mouth to protest but Ashley silenced her. "Shh…" She leaned forward and kissed her with heated passion. Her tongue probing her way into her mouth, Spencer resisted for a brief second, but then finally gave into the rock star. Just as Ashley predicted. Spencer wouldn't turn her down.

Ashley moaned as she felt Spencer begin to play with her tongue ring. She raised her body up and placed one of Spencer's hands on her breast. A slight whimper escaped her lips when she felt Spencer's hand tease her sensitive breast. The rock star broke the kiss and rested her head heavily against Spencer's shoulder, enjoying the blonde's gentle hands as they messaged her erect nipples.

"God, Spencer." She breathed, raising her head, she leaned forward and took her mouth again. Both teens groaned as the kiss deepened and Ashley was surprised when Spencer urged her on her back, rolling on top of her. She felt the blonde's thigh settle between her legs and sighed into Spencer's mouth. Wrapping her arms around Spencer's neck, Ashley pulled her close to her, loving their full body contact.

Spencer broke the kiss and left Ashley's mouth. Placing a kiss on her chin, Spencer trailed her lips along her neck and nipped playfully at the hollow of her throat. Ashley's hands busied themselves; her left running through soft blonde hair while her right ran up and down the expanse of her back. Ashley swallowed hard as she felt Spencer continue down her body. She cried out softly when a very warm mouth enveloped her bare breast. Her back arched as Spencer flicked and then tugged teasingly at her nipple. Ashley groaned her disapproval when Spencer left her aching bud, but then she felt that wonderful mouth on her other breast and everything was okay again.

Her body came to life and Ashley found it impossible to lie still while Spencer's tongue batted her nipple with her tongue. She pressed her hips into the thigh that was still pressed against her and groaned when Spencer moved it away.

Spencer continued her oral assault on the bud in her mouth while trailing her hand down Ashley's body. The muscles in Ashley's abdomen tightened and trembled as she slid her hand over them. Ashley's legs parted unconsciously as Spencer's hand neared its destination. "Oh Spencer, please touch me." Ashley panted, begging. Her whole body waited in anticipation for Spencer to do something, anything. "Oh God," She cried out when she felt Spencer's finger run along slick folds, stroking her hardened clit.

Spencer was surprised when she felt how ready Ashley was. The feeling was incredible knowing she had played a role in that. Something inside of her screamed, and she needed to see Ashley. Leaving her breast, Spencer got on her knees and looked down at the rock star who was panting feverishly. Spencer marveled at how gorgeous she looked, lips parted, face flustered, the moonlight hitting her in all the right places. It was like Spencer was falling in love with her all over again. Ashley noticed the love in her eyes and sat up. "I can't live without you." She breathed, cupping her cheek, Ashley captured her lips. The kiss was gentle, soft, caring, conveying everything both girls were feeling at the moment. Love. The feeling was so intense that it brought tears to Spencer's eyes.

Ashley pulled back when she felt the moisture on her face. Her brow furrowed when she realized there were tears running down Spencer's face. "Don't cry, love." She kissed the tears running down her face before claiming her lips again. One of her hands moved up to cup her breast and she loved the feeling of them against her hand. Their softness, their fullness, they were absolutely perfect to Ashley.

Ever so gently, Ashley urged Spencer on her back. The urge to taste the blonde was just too much for the rock star. She moved up her body and kissed her long and hard before tearing her mouth away and trailing her lips down her chin, along her neck, over her abdomen until she reached her center. Spencer parted her legs and let her head fall back, a long exhale of breath exiting her lungs as Ashley's breath fell upon her wetness.

Ashley dipped her tongue into Spencer, running it through her sex; she knew it was driving Spencer crazy by the way she moaned and held the back of her head. Her breathing was ragged and her eyes tightly closed.

Ashley was in heaven, she loved the feel and taste of Spencer in her mouth, it was incredible. Wrapping her arms around Spencer's quivering hips, she stroked her harder and faster before entering her with her tongue, making Spencer cry out. Ashley replaced her tongue with two fingers and began moving them in and out of her. Her mouth moved up to her clit and she wasted no time taking the little bud into her mouth, sucking and rubbing her tongue ring over it.

Spencer was on sensory overload from all of the things being done to her. Ashley knew she was close and increased her actions until finally, Spencer cried out and tightened her hold on Ashley's hair as wave upon wave of pleasure washed over her. Limp, Spencer fell back on the bed and fought hard to calm her body down. Ashley moved up her body, placing kisses and small licks along her abdomen, neck, and finally chin. She placed a tender kiss on her temple before cradling the blonde, whispering soft words while caressing her face.

Spencer looked into Ashley's face. Her eyes were fogged over with desire that Spencer wanted to sate. She was so in love with the rock star and expressed it when she cupped the back of Ashley's neck and kissed aggressively, pushing her onto her back. Ashley welcomed Spencer's sudden actions and whimpered when she felt a warm hand on her breast, kneading her aching bud. Her hand roamed through Spencer's blonde hair as she felt the blonde's mouth exploring her neck and upper chest. "Fuck Spencer," She gasped, her nipple being tugged between two fingers. "That feels so good, baby."

Spencer trailed her tongue along her upper chest, tracing her collar bones. She loved the taste of Ashley's skin and just couldn't get enough of it. God, it was so much different with Aiden than it was Ashley. A lot of his skin was hairy, and his guy sweat was more nauseous than anything, it came off him in waves.

This feeling was so new to her. She just wanted to taste every inch of Ashley's skin. She moved up Ashley's body and kissed her again. There was so much she just wanted to say but didn't know what words to use. She decided to let her body do the talking for her.

She moved her hand down between their bodies and stroked the inside of Ashley's thigh while deepening the kiss. She felt the rock star shiver when she moved down and sucked on her pulse point. "Spencer, please touch me. Oh god, please just do it." Ashley begged between clenched teeth and heavy breathing.

Spencer moved her hand further up her thigh and kissed the side of Ashley's neck. "I love you Ashley." She whispered near her ear while pushing past drenched swollen lips. Spencer was surprised by the sudden throb in her clit as her fingers pushed further into Ashley. Spencer raised her head, "God you feel so good, Ashley. So wet." She murmured against her parted lips.

Ashley couldn't speak as she continued to move her hips against Spencer's touch. She cupped the back of her head and brought their lips together, both moaning as Spencer moved a little faster inside her. Ashley's eyes closed as she began breathing hard against Spencer's mouth. They both began breathing hard against each other as Ashley neared her release. Gasping, Ashley cried out and trapped Spencer's hand between her thighs.

Spencer watched Ashley in wonder as she climaxed. Her eyes were shut, lips parted, and her muscles were straining against her skin. Spencer placed kisses all over her face, whisking away the strays of auburn hair that had fallen over her eyes. "You are so beautiful Ashley." She murmured against her forehead. Ashley opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around Spencer, pulling her to her, cradling her blonde head on her shoulder. Spencer's arm wrapped around her abdomen and her thigh rested between Ashley's. She closed her eyes and fell asleep seconds later.

Ashley stared up at the ceiling. She couldn't sleep. There was something on her mind and it wouldn't go away. Something she needed so bad at the moment….

She was going to have it.

-----------

Spencer's eyes opened wide when she heard something fall and then shatter on the floor. She slowly sat up and looked around. Her vision was still a bit blurry so she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She heard movement throughout the room. It frantic, someone's breathing was hard. Spencer leaned over and turned on the nightstand lamp. Her eyes widened as she looked around the room. There were clothes scattered everywhere around the room. All the paintings on the wall had fallen, a pile of shattered glass pooling around them.

"Ashley?" Spencer called out, crawling to the edge of the bed. Grey eyes fell on the figure sitting on her knees, looking frantically through a suitcase. It was one of Spencer's suitcases. "Ashley?" She tried again, getting off the bed. "What are you doing?" She asked putting her hands on her shoulders.

"Get the fuck away from me!" Ashley snapped shaking the hands off her body. Spencer pulled her hands back as her heart leapt in her throat. Ashley's face was tear stain, her brown eyes puffy from crying, and her nose bleeding. She was wearing clothes, jeans and a band tee, she looked like Ashley but Spencer had no idea who the person in front of her was. Her eyes were wild, dangerous.

Grey eyes watched as Ashley turned her attention back on the suitcase. Her hands were viciously searching the pockets of the jeans she came across. Without thinking, Spencer reached over and ran her hand down Ashley's arm. She didn't even see it happen but she felt the sharp sting painfully scar her face as Ashley slapped her, hard. Shock filled her eyes as she stared at Ashley, wide eye horror evident on her face.

Ashley stared back into her eyes and saw the look of horror, shock, and confusion written over her face. And then there was the blood that spilled from her lip. "Oh God, Spencer." She gasped crawling over to her. "I'm sorry." She murmured pulling her frozen form into a strong embrace. "I'm so so sorry, Spencer." She whispered near her ear.

Spencer stared at the wall, her face full of confusion. She felt Ashley's kisses, her warm hands on her back, the wet tears on her face. Pulling away she met her gaze. "I just needed money." Ashley explained, her voice desperate. "I can't find any anywhere and I need it so bad Spencer…." Her head fell forward, resting on Spencer's shoulder. "So fucking bad." She whispered. "I need it so bad." She pulled back and cupped the side of Spencer's face. It was emotionless, just blank, but Ashley didn't notice. "Do you have money? I just need to get a little, Spencer." She kissed the corner of lips and pulled back. "Just a little."

Spencer heard and saw the desperation in her voice. Silently she stood up and walked away. She stopped at the small wastebasket in the room. Looking over her shoulder, she watched as Ashley continued looking through the suitcase. Her eyes moved back to the trash. She felt nothing as she crouched down and picked up the clear plastic bag of cocaine. Time stilled for her as she walked back across the room. She stopped near Ashley and dropped the bag on the floor. She didn't want to see anything passed that. Instead, she turned back around and grabbed her robe off the floor. She slipped it on and walked out of the door, leaving Ashley with the one thing she loved the most, cocaine.

-----------

--------------

The walk to the limo was anything but pleasant for the rock star. Her eyes were hurting from the sun's bright rays, forcing her to shield them with sunglasses. The glasses did nothing to ease her monstrous head ache and nausea, but she figured she'd survive. Besides, the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional. Shame and guilt weighed heavily down on the 17 year old's shoulders. She felt like a failure. Her self control was completely gone; unable to resist drug temptations, she knew it was only a matter of time before Spencer left her. Spencer couldn't love an addict, Ashley wondered why she stuck around for as long as she did. Especially after seeing her true colors.

A hand on her arm brought Ashley out of her musing. She turned her head and met Glen's worried expression. "Do you want to talk about it? Whatever is going on between you and Spencer." He couldn't keep the concern out of his voice as he spoke, explaining last night's events to the quiet teen. A knock at the door had woken him up. He rolled out of bed and answered the door. Spencer stood there, surprising him. She was only wearing a robe, scandals and carrying her cell phone. She looked sad but didn't say anything more than 'can I stay here tonight?' Glen easily agreed and slept on the couch while Spencer took his bed. He knew her problem revolved around Ashley. Why else would she turn to him and not Ashley for a place to stay? "And don't you lie and tell me nothing happened. I'm not stupid, Ash."

Ashley turned her head away from the blonde and stared ahead. What the hell am I doing? Panic gripped tightly onto her chest and for a moment she couldn't breathe. Why am I doing all of this stupid shit? All I'm doing is pushing Spencer away. And I don't want that….right? The massive mess she had made in the hotel room came to mind. Emptying the suitcases for cocaine money… why did I do that? Why can't I just be better…normal? "I really don't know what happened…" She murmured, unaware of the tears sliding down her face.

Glen noticed them and placed a firm hand on her slender shoulder. Ashley stopped and looked over at him; tensing when he reached out and removed her sunglasses. The tears came a little faster and harder, but she didn't care. "Ash, talk to me." He pleaded softly, his blue eyes staring into youthful brown. It hit him just then how young Ashley was. Most kids her age were stressing over SAT's and colleges. It wasn't fair that Ashley had a cocaine addiction to deal with. But then again, hardly anything in Ashley's life was fair. "I know something's wrong."

Ashley broke their gaze and looked around them. They were searching for their limo and stood on a semi crowded sidewalk. There were people walking past them but nobody stopped to stare, relieving Ashley. She didn't want strangers stopping to ask 'are you okay?' while she was crying. "It's…me." She looked at him, ignoring everything else around them. "I just can't stop." Her voice was soft, regretful and full of disappointment. Her eyes were distant; her facial expression etched over with shame. "Last night, I got high and things got out of control. I trashed our room looking for money to buy coke, and then Spencer…" she paused a moment. Last night's events were fuzzy, she had to think to remember them. "She got too close, I told her to get away, she didn't and I-I hit her."

Glen noticed the fear clouding Ashley's eyes. He was shocked that Ashley would hit Spencer, but then again, cocaine made people violent. A part of him was angry, Ashley should have known better, but obviously didn't. It didn't help that she did drugs. It seemed as though the line between right and wrong in her mind was starting to wither away. He wondered if it was ever there. "What were you thinking? How could you do drugs with Spencer, you're girlfriend, in the same room?!" He demanded sternly. He was getting tired of Ashley's ridiculous behavior and his angry voice expressed that well. "I don't see how she puts up with you." He unconsciously added.

Ashley tensed and her face hardened. She saw so much anger and disappointment in his blue eyes, adding onto her own frustration. How could she explain the constant torture that plagued her everyday life? She hated how accusing he sounded. He made it sound like she wanted to do the drugs, wanted to trash their room, and wanted to hurt Spencer when she honest to god couldn't help it. The little self control she once had was gone and she hated herself for it more and more every day. Her body craved that drug, her every move depended on it, and she couldn't say no. "Fuck you." She spat coldly.

She stalked passed the blonde but was quickly grabbed by the wrist and turned around. A fire had ignited in his blue eyes but it was nothing compared to Ashley's inferno. "I'm not finished, Ashley." His voice was firm and somewhat demanding.

Ashley's eyes narrowed. "I am." She violently pulled her arm out of his grasp and turned back around. She didn't miss the blonde's murmured words as she started walking off. 'She won't put up with you forever.' Her steps were quicker, fueled by anger. She hated Glen for making her feel so bad. She snorted, for making her feel at all. A couple of lines of cocaine would make it better; she knew that but didn't dare get high. Her cravings weren't so bad now, which was rare. She was basking in it, happy, despite her anger, of it.

The distance between her and the limo was closed quickly. She didn't greet the driver, just stepped up and entered the stretch hummer. Brown eyes surveyed the large space, avoiding as many gazes as possible, especially Spencer's. Everyone was huddled in the back of the limo, Pops sitting on the seat in front of the wind shield. Ashley took a seat next to the door.

She heard a sigh and then a voice, "Ashley quit being ridiculous and get your ass back here."

Biting down hard on her bottom lip, she stood up and obeyed Pops. The rock star hesitantly moved further back into the limo and took a seat next to Rachael. Her eyes were cast down, but she still noticed everyone out of the corner of her gaze. They all sat in a 'U' shape. Spencer sat across from her, Clay sat next to her, and a body guard sat next him. Pops sat in front of the windshield, AJ sat on the next seat, Rachael sat next to him, and Ashley sat next to her.

She felt eyes on her and looked up, meeting Spencer's gaze. Concern filled her grey orbs, but there was something else in them. It was as if she were yearning to do something. Ashley looked back down. She knew what it was. Spencer simply wanted to get up and comfort her. Ashley smiled a little at the thought. Despite being a complete mess, Spencer still wanted to make her feel better. She looked back up and the blonde's gaze was on Pops. Brown eyes focused on her lips. There was nothing there, no mark, scratch or anything. Ashley looked back down, the smile dying from her lips. She didn't fail to notice the amount of make up applied to her face. The blonde had more on than usual.

The door opened and Glen stepped in. Ashley didn't look up as he took a seat next to Spencer. "Okay here's the plan," Pops started. "You're getting on a plane to Tampa." Ashley stiffened and picked her head up, turning her attention on him. "And you're going to be spending a couple of hours in the studio." Pops moved his gaze over to Spencer. "I own a house in Tampa and there's a studio in the basement. We're going to be there with 'Suffocate me Blind.'"

Ashley's eyes flickered over to Spencer and she didn't miss the frown that lined her lips. It matched the one sprawled over her own. She hated the house in Tampa. She wished someone would set it on fire, or better yet, she wished the house would be blown away by a category 5 hurricane.

"After that, you guys are going to the airport and catching a flight to Miami. You play at 7 and finish around 9. After that, do whatever the hell you want. We're not leaving until the morning."

"Where's Madison?" Ashley inquired puzzled, but then regretted it when she noticed the frustration on her father's face.

"I sent her home this morning." He answered curtly. "Making you look good was the only reason why I brought her here, but my plan was backfiring because my stupid kid couldn't keep her shit together."

Ashley looked away and didn't say anything. Pops words normally didn't faze her, but they did today. For the past couple of days, she had been watching someone else live her life. She didn't feel things directly; it felt as if reality was a dream. But today, she woke up and felt everything, especially the pain. Madison was sent home because she couldn't stop doing drugs and alcohol; she felt embarrassed. Last night, she did cocaine and hit Spencer; she felt shameful and regretful. Overall, she was disappointed and hated herself.

Ashley closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the seat. There was a light stinging in her eyes, indicating tears. Why am I always crying? She wondered while leaning forward, cradling her head in her hands.

Pops sat staring at the 17 year old. He found it odd that she didn't talk back, or even look at him spitefully. He took a closer look at his daughter. She looked miserable and was starting to look thin. Too thin. "Do you need to see a doctor?" The words surprised him but he was far too concerned to care. He didn't like how pale her face was or the dark circles under her eyes.

Ashley stared at him. "You're talking to me?" She asked quietly. It sounds like he cares, he can't be talking to me.

"Yeah I'm talking to you. You look sick, do you need to see a doctor or not." He tried to sound angry and frustrated, but he ended up sounding worried.

Ashley shook her head 'no' and sat back. "I'm fine." She lied, closing her eyes and returning to her previous position; sitting with her head in her hands.

Pops eyes flickered over to Spencer and he met her concerned gaze. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "If you won't see the doctor at least behave in the studio." He said firmly. "I already told those morons no drugs or heavy alcohol, but if they do bring some, stay away, alright?"

Ashley sat up. "Why are you telling me this shit?" She asked angrily. It bothered her that he was acting worried about her. So what if she was sick and continued to do drugs? It wasn't any of his business. "The reporter is gone, you don't have to act like you give a fuck about me."

"I don't need a dead kid on my hands." Pops spat back. He hated how she never made anything easy for him.

Ashley snorted. "Right, bad publicity for the band."

"Ashley." Spencer pleaded quietly. She wasn't in the mood to hear them argue. And from the look of Ashley's red eyes, neither was she. "Just drop it, okay?"

Ashley instantly deflated and felt more than stupid. "Sorry." She murmured sinking back into the black leather seat; wishing she could disappear. She hated everything she was feeling and just wanted to run away from herself. A pill, cocaine, hell she'd even take heroin right now to escape everything, everyone, and be left alone. Everything was so fucked up, she just wanted to escape.

Pops watched Ashley close her eyes and lean her head back against the seat. He wasn't acting and the concern that filled his eyes proved that. His thoughts strayed back to last night and the dream he had. He was at a party with the band. Everyone was having a good time, including himself. His eyes randomly landed on Ashley and he watched his daughter snort cocaine, a second later a bullet appeared out of nowhere and pierced her heart, leaving her bleeding on the dance floor. Everything around him blurred and faded into nothing. The room was empty, except for him and his dying daughter. He rushed over and collapsed onto the floor next to her. He didn't hesitate reaching out and cradling her small frame against his chest. Tears fell frantically down his face as he stared into her dying eyes. She looked at him sadly, 'I just wanted you to love me' was the last thing she said before her eyes closed and she died. He shot up from bed, sweating, and to his surprise, crying.

The amount of emotion that clouded his chest was almost too much for him.

Looking away, he found himself fighting back tears again.

--------------

The airport was busy, loud and very hectic. Ashley dreaded walking through it. People usually recognized her and asked for pictures and autographs. She normally didn't mind doing it, but today was different. She felt sick and tired. The only thing she wanted to do was sleep, not entertain strangers.

Ashley watched everyone exit the limo and finally stood when everyone, except for Pops and Rachael, were outside. "Ashley." She heard Pops say as she stood. Brown eyes looked over at him and waited impatiently for him to speak.

"I wasn't acting earlier." He admitted uneasily. "I'm….worried about you. This shit with the cocaine, I've been there, hell I'm still there but it's not as bad as it used to be." He exhaled heavily. He thought deeply the whole way to the airport. He concluded he was worried about his daughter and her drug use. "Things are only going to get worse if you keep doing this shit."

Ashley stared at him incredulously. A couple of days ago he didn't give a fuck if she lived or died. Now, he was preaching to her about drugs? "Are you finished?" She asked flatly, she wasn't buying the whole 'concerned father' act. Fuck him, she thought bitterly. "I have a flight to catch."

Pops nodded. "You're dismissed." Brown eyes watched Ashley leave and Pops sighed when she slammed the door. "She's not going to make this easy." He mumbled meeting Rachael's gaze.

"17 years of damage." She placed a supportive hand on his upper arm. "It's not going to happen over night."

"What time is my flight to L.A.?" He purposely changed the subject; just wanting to get Ashley out of his mind. He had other things to worry about. Like his health. A recent trip to the doctor confirmed his worst fear. All of his drug use had done permanent damage to his heart and nasal passage. He frowned remembering all of the medication he was now on. "Shit, she's too young to be doing this shit to herself." Rachael nodded but didn't say anything. "I don't want heart disease to be the reason why she quits." Pulling out his cell phone, he frantically dialed a familiar number. "Roscoe, I need you to do something. It concerns Ashley…"

--------------

Ashley sauntered through the airport feeling like shit. She had one hell of a head ache, a stuffed up nose, and she felt very tired. Keeping her eyes open was starting to become a difficult task. Brown eyes regarded the band members sitting at the gate. Glen and Clay were focusing on their cell phones while Spencer flipped through a magazine. Ashley took a couple of steps and then abruptly stopped, grasping onto her bodyguard's arm to keep from falling. "Are you alright Ms. Davies?" She heard being asked above.

Brown eyes looked up. Roscoe's face was blurry, she blinked, it was clear, she blinked again, it was blurry. Ashley looked away and shook her head. "I'm fine." She lied, walking away from her bodyguard. "I just need to use the bathroom." Her legs felt heavy, it was hard to move. Panic filled her chest as she pushed open the bathroom door and stepped inside. She went straight to the sink and turned on the water. She felt dizzy and her vision was blurring in and out. Cupping a handful of cold water, she closed her eyes and brought it up to her face, gasping when the cool water hit her skin.

Ashley failed to hear the bathroom door open and jumped when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. "Whoa, calm down." Spencer soothed meeting scared brown eyes. Gray eyes examined the 17 year old and she was scared for her lover. Her breathing was quick, eyes dilated and full of fear. The dark circles under her eyes proved lack of sleep and her runny nose was a sign of cocaine use. Not that Spencer didn't know that already. "Ashley, maybe you should have gone with Pops to the doctor."

The rock star snorted and looked down. "I'm fine."

Spencer looked down and noticed Ashley's hands. They were holding onto the edge of the counter. Her knuckles were white from the amount of pressure she had on her grip. Despite her best efforts to stay balanced, Ashley still swayed a bit. "You don't look fine, Ash." Spencer's heart nearly broke at her sad expression. "What's wrong?"

Ashley didn't say anything. Instead, she quickly turned around, intent on walking out of the room, but then froze. Her legs were rebelling against her and she felt too tired to move. "I'm just hung over," Brown eyes regarded the white tile floor under her shoes. "I'll get over it."

Spencer took her hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles, surprising the rock star. "Please don't lie to me, Ash. I care so much about you, I just want you to feel better."

"I don't understand you." There was no anger in her voice, just confusion. "You should hate me. I fucked up big time last night." She frowned, "Why are you still putting up with me? I'm just going to fuck up again and you know it." She didn't understand why the blonde was still dealing with her. Especially when everyone else stopped giving a fuck.

"Is it too hard to believe that I care about you?" She questioned softly.

Ashley didn't hesitate answering. "No, caring just seems to be part of your nature, but I'm sure you have limits that I've crossed. And don't lie and say that I haven't crossed them." Her eyes lowered and landed on her lips. She knew under the make up lied some sort of mark. Big or small, she didn't care. She still hurt the blonde and that was crossing the line for her. "I'm sorry for hurting you." She took her hand out of the blonde's grasp, feeling too guilty to even touch her. "I didn't mean to-"

"I know, Ash." Spencer cut in, seeing the shameful expression on her face. She didn't want Ashley to hurt anymore. She knew the rock star already felt like shit. A guilt trip was the last thing she needed. "It's alright, Hon. I forgive you."

"Why?" Ashley demanded. She just didn't understand why Spencer was being so nice about everything. "I'm a fucking mess. Don't you remember what happened last night?"

"I was there, Ashley. Of course I remember."

"Then why aren't you pissed off and hating me?"

"Would that really solve anything?"

"I don't know," Ashley answered honestly, "But it'd make more sense."

Spencer continued gazing into questioning brown eyes, internally sighing. It didn't surprise her that Ashley wasn't letting the subject drop. She wished the tired rock star would just accept her forgiveness and move on, but that obviously wasn't going to happen.

"I had a lot of time to think about us, Ashley." She explained calmly. "I'm going to be honest and admit that you've been more than a handful for me." Seeing Ashley's shoulders slump and face fall, she really wanted to stop. But couldn't. Ashley wanted to hear it. "That you've hurt me in so many different ways. It hasn't been easy for me to be with you. It's been hell." She reached out and tilted the rock star's chin, forcing her to make eye contact. "But it's nothing compared to what you've been going through. And I know that." Spencer used the pad of her thumb to wipe away an errant tear spilling from her eye. "Cocaine is a very powerful drug. It corrupts minds, destroys relationships and kills. I'm not going to run away and let this addiction kill you, Ashley. I love you too much to do that."

Ashley opened her mouth to argue but Spencer silenced it by placing a gentle finger over her lips. "I never expected loving you to be easy, I just have to know that you haven't given up on quitting."

"I haven't," she murmured.

"Good," Spencer smiled softly. "Because I haven't either."

Despite the tears running down her face, Ashley stepped forward and lovingly wrapped her arms around the blonde, burying her face in vanilla scented hair, she murmured, "Thank you for not giving up on me. You don't know how much that means to me."

Spencer returned the hug, placing a soft kiss on the side of her neck. "You don't know how much you mean to me," She spoke softly near her ear. "I love you Ashley."

Ashley pulled back. "I love you too." She mumbled, fighting hard to keep her eyes open. All of the emotions running through her tired frame was exhausting. Yawning, she turned her head away and fought hard to keep her balance. Spencer placed her hands on her hips, steadying her, and then thought of something. "When was the last time you ate?" She inquired softly, watching brown eyes close and then abruptly open again.

Ashley shrugged. "I'm not sure."

Spencer reached down and took the rock star's hand.

"Lets get you fed, rock star."

--------------

Ashley stared intolerably down at the Styrofoam plate before her. She wasn't hungry; in fact, the thought of eating made her more nauseous. Turning her head, she watched Spencer place their orders. They had chosen a small deli to eat at. It wasn't far from their gate and it smelled wonderful….to Spencer, not Ashley. She sighed and turned back around, pulling out her cell phone, she began checking her messages. She answered the first two text messages quickly and froze when she read who the third one was from. Samantha Richmond. Brown eyes scanned the short message, widening at the end. "Fuck," She breathed. Samantha was the daughter of Kent Richmond, 'Suffocate me Blind's' manager. Their fathers were close friends and they grew up together.

Ashley reread the message and then closed her razor. Samantha was going to join them in Miami. That would have normally made her happy, but not this time. Samantha was gorgeous and very special to Ashley. Every time they met, they fucked.

"Oh I got you this really yummy looking soup…." Spencer trailed off when she noticed the disdain look on Ashley's face. "What's wrong?" She put down the tray of food and took the seat across from the rock star.

Ashley looked up and met her gaze. I'm not going to keep anything from you. "This is what's wrong," She sighed, handing her phone to Spencer.

Spencer took the black razor and stared curiously down at the screen. She read the small message and then stared back into nervous brown eyes. "Who sent this? And what did she mean by 'fun'?"

"She's an old friend." Ashley explained sheepishly. Fuck buddy is more like it. "Her name is Samantha and we grew up together. Our fathers are friends and um, we occasionally fuck whenever we're together. "She didn't like the look on Spencer's face so quickly added, "But not this time. I don't plan on this visit being too long. We'll be in and out of there and then do whatever you want to do. I'm over her."

Relief quickly washed over the blonde's features and she visibly relaxed. "You don't seem too happy about seeing her." she thought back to the part of the message that read 'I'm flyin to Miami 2nite. I really miss u and can't wait to spen some quality time alone wit u.' She wouldn't feel comfortable going.

Ashley shook her head no. "I'm not, but she's a really good friend and I haven't seen her in a while." She shrugged, "A visit won't hurt and we're not having sex…it shouldn't be too long of a 'date.'"

Spencer stared down at her food. "If you don't mind, I think I'll stay in tonight and let you visit with her alone." She met curious brown eyes. "I just don't think I'd be comfortable going."

Ashley blinked her surprise. Spencer normally looked forward to meeting new people. "Are you sure?" She didn't want to upset Spencer by going without her. "I'll call her and tell her I can't make it." She added quickly. "We'll stay in tonight and relax." She grabbed her cell phone but was stopped by a tender hand on her arm.

"Ashley its fine." Spencer honestly said when the rock star met her gaze. "I don't mind if you visit with your friend. I trust you." She wasn't worried about Ashley cheating on her. That was one of the things that came along with getting high or drunk. She was sure if Ashley stayed sober, she'd also stay faithful. "I'm more worried about you going out and taking something you'll regret in the morning."

Brown eyes regarded the light liquid of the soup. "I won't." She looked up and gazed solely into Spencer's eyes. "I promise you. I won't do any drugs or drink alcohol ever again." Her eyes lowered and landed on her lips. "After last night… I'm just finished with that shit. From now on, I'm going to try my hardest to stay clean." She promised. "Even if it means going to rehab, I want to get clean." I'm tired of hurting you. "I…I want to make you happy and proud of me." She added quietly.

Spencer reached out and covered Ashley's hand with her own. "You do make me happy Ashley." She brought her hand up to her face and brushed her lips across soft knuckles. "Nobody said love was easy." She murmured, placing a final kiss on Ashley's knuckles before lowering both their hands. "I'm not giving up."

"I'm not either. I love you."

"I love you too, Ashley." She smiled. "And that's why you're going to spend some time with this friend of yours." Taking a break from the music scene and spending time with a childhood friend would be good for Ashley.

"Are you sure?" She asked unsurely.

"Yep." She answered eying Ashley's bowl. "Now, hurry up and finish your soup," She commanded playfully. "We have a plane to catch."

Ashley chuckled. "Yes ma'am."

--------------

Spencer unbuckled her seat belt and turned her head. Ashley slept soundly against her; her head resting comfortably on her shoulder. A smile tugged on the blonde's lips as she watched the rock star sleep. The flight wasn't more than an hour long. Spencer spent most of her time reading, only stopping to watch her lover sleep. She looked so relaxed and peaceful sleeping against her. Waking the peaceful teen was the last thing she wanted to do. "Ashley." She cooed softly, gently tapping the soft skin on her forearm.

Ashley whimpered in protest and opened her eyes. Groggily looking around, brown eyes examined the plane. "We're here already?" She yawned.

"Yep. Welcome to Tampa."

Ashley looked around the plane and sighed. It was taking the crowded aisle forever to clear. "Next time we're flying first class. On a private jet." A middle aged woman heard Ashley and shot her a 'quit bitching' look. Ashley bit down hard on her tongue to keep from saying anything back. "Did you see that look she just gave me?" She grumbled near Spencer's ear.

Spencer patted her hand. "Calm down, hon. she was sleeping a couple of seats down from us. I'm sure she's just as cranky as you are." She grinned at Ashley's offended expression.

The auburn haired teen huffed. "I'm not cranky. I just hate the world right now, especially the people on this plane." Ashley smiled broadly at Spencer's playful eye roll. Okay I am cranky, but she's not going to hear me say that.

"You're a terrible liar, Ash." Spencer stood up and motioned for her to do the same. The rock star smirked and held out her hand. Spencer took it and helped Ashley up. "Cranky and lazy, my mom is going to love you." She teased standing next to the stretching teen.

Ashley laughed softly, turning her head to gaze into playful gray eyes. "If you think I'm lazy now," She leaned in closer to the blonde; her breath grazing the sensitive skin on her ear. "Just wait until we're married. I'll have you all to myself and we'll be lazy together in bed … naked..."

Spencer's face burned as she leaned forward and buried her face in the crook of the grinning teen's neck. "Don't we do that enough now?" She mumbled against her warm skin; smiling as a hand slipped under her shirt and massaged the small of her back.

Ashley spoke for Spencer's ears only. "You haven't seen anything yet, hon." She breathed, seductively using the name Spencer had used for her. "Imagine when we're off tour…..staying at the beach house……all day and all night….alone…for many many nights…"

Spencer tilted her head and met Ashley's brown eyes. The people on the plane and the plane itself disappeared as they gazed into one another's eyes. "You wouldn't get tired of me?" Lost in Ashley's loving gaze, Spencer reached up and placed her hand on the back of her neck; fingering soft auburn hair.

"Never." Ashley's eyes dropped to the blonde's soft lips. The rock star lowered her head, intent on kissing her girlfriend, and gritted her teeth in frustration when the flight attendant interrupted their moment by asking them to return one of the seats back to its neutral position. She watched Spencer abruptly jerk back and blush furiously.

Not saying a word, Ashley focused on the chair and pushed the small button on the side. It immediately shot up and was back to its neutral position. "Happy now?" She rudely asked the flight attendant openly staring at them.

The brunette was snapped out her reverie by the rock star's annoyed tone. "Y-yes." She stuttered before quickly turning and leaving.

Ashley looked at the aisle and smiled at the 4 other people staring at her. They all quickly looked away and Ashley rolled her eyes. "Bastards." She muttered turning to face the blonde. "You ready?" She asked motioning toward the aisle.

Spencer nodded her head 'yes' and followed Ashley off the plane.

--------------

Walking through the airport with the blonde at her side was frustrating. It took all of the rock star's will power to keep from reaching out and taking the blonde's hand and rushing them out of the overcrowded building. Spencer was getting a lot of attention from the people around them. They all recognized her as the woman on every teen magazine in the country. Ashley could tell Spencer was uncomfortable with all of the attention. The teenage girls were the worst. They would stop the blonde and ask a million questions about Aiden. It annoyed the hell out of Ashley and after the first 3 stops, she took Spencer's hand and quickened their steps. At this rate they were never going to get to the limo.

"Ashley!" Spencer shrilled, quickly withdrawing her hand away from the rock star's grasp. Ashley stopped moving and looked at her. Noticing the hurt look on her lover's face, Spencer quickly explained. "People might see and take pictures or something. You know how magazines exaggerate things and lie."

"It's not like we're looking very romantic. I was just helping you get away from those annoying bitches." She snarled, not mad at Spencer. Just everyone else. "I won't touch you again."

Spencer watched Ashley turn back around and walk faster than before. She wasted no time catching up to the auburn haired teen. "Hey, I'm sorry okay." She briefly touched the rock star's forearm, wanting the contact to be longer than it was. "I wish things were different too." She said as though reading the rock star's thoughts.

Brown eyes regarded her apologetically. "I know. Sorry I snapped. I'm just stressed." She shrugged, staring ahead again.

Spencer accepted her apology and they continued walking in silence.

--------------

The ride to the Tampa estate was quiet and uneventful. Cell phones and the scenery outside occupied everyone's attention until the car stopped. Ashley looked up from her black razor. The house was very expensive and extremely gorgeous. She hadn't been there in over 2 years and she was dreading having to visit again. She didn't want to exit the limo, but she didn't have much of a choice.

_The 15 year old walked up the porch steps and opened the front door. She was exhausted. She had just finished a two month tour and all she wanted to do was relax in her gorgeous home in Tampa. She never understood why Pops bought it. It was only the two of them and the house accommodated 7 people comfortably. Ashley shook the backpack off her shoulders and let it fall heavily onto the floor. "Pops!" She called out wondering where the old man was lying around. "Bastard and his bitch better not be in my room." She muttered, thinking about her father's recent marriage. The woman was a whore, that was obvious and Ashley couldn't wait for her to find out how commited her father was to his marriages. It was only a matter of a time before she caught him with some other whore. That's how his last 4 marriages ended._

_Ashley walked into the kitchen and hovered over the stove. Her nose wrinkled in disgust. The nastiest smelling pasta she had ever seen sat rotting away in a pot. The 15 year old quickly moved away and opened the fridge. She groaned as brown eyes landed on the empty clean shelves. Her stomach growled as she slammed the fridge closed. "Why isn't there any fucking food?" She wondered out loud._

_"Hello there." _

_Ashley turned around and frowned at the brunette standing under the doorway. Her father only knew her for 2 months before they tied the knot. It surprised Ashley that their marriage lasted more than a couple of weeks. Next month would be their 4 month anniversary. "Why isn't there any food?" She demanded, ignoring the woman's kind smile. "I'm starving and where's Pops? I don't want to be here." She whined thinking about her friends in L.A. Samantha was having everyone over for a week long sleepover. There was going to be a lot of drugs and sex. Ashley wanted so badly to be apart of it but Pops had other plans. Without an explanation, he demanded she go straight to Tampa after touring. Ashley didn't know why, but she went along with it. _

_"You're father had to fly to New York to settle something," She ran a nervous hand through her hair. Ashley's fists clenched abruptly and she knew the teen was very angry. "I sent the driver to pick you up from the airport. Did you have a nice flight?" _

_Ashley ignored the question. "Why the fuck am I here?!" _

_"Please lower your voice." The older woman pleaded. "I thought it'd be nice for us to spend some time together." _

_"Why?" Ashley snorted. "You'll be gone before my 16__th__ birthday. Plus, I don't give a fuck about trash like you." She smiled. "Whores aren't worth more than the couple of dollars men pay them to suck their cocks."_

_"My name is Cynthia. Please don't refer to me as trash." She ignored the last thing Ashley said and eyed the girl. Her hair was wild and wavy with red dye randomly mixed in it. She wore a band T shirt and jeans that had holes in them with converse shoes. "Are you hungry? We can go-"_

_"I'm not going anywhere with you." Ashley snapped. "But yeah I am hungry. Be a good little whore and satisfy me with some food." She grinned. "A lobster dinner sounds good." Ashley continued to talk, stopping Cynthia from saying whatever she had to say. She looked angry and the teen loved it. "You said not to call you trash, you didn't say anything about whore." _

_Cynthia sighed and walked over to the bar. Raife said she was going to be complicated. She didn't think it'd be this bad though. There were a lot of complicated people to deal with in her line of work. Before becoming his wife, she was a stripper at Raife's club and she met him one night at work. She was instantly attracted to the man and it wasn't long before they slept together. He was still in her bed the next morning and she nursed him through a painful hangover. He spent the next couple of days at her house, which was fine with her. They connected very well with each other and kept in contact when he left on tour. "I wish I could have a drink." She mumbled, hungrily staring at the vodka bottle. _

_"You can get wasted after I'm fed." Ashley impatiently stated, tapping her fingers angrily on the kitchen's island. "Can you hurry your ass up? I already told you what I wanted."_

_The older woman stared at Ashley. The teen stood arrogantly, waiting for her to move. She was desperate for the teen to change her attitude. Desperate enough to share the news she had been keeping from Raife. "Ashley I would really appreciate it if you'd be a little kinder to me." _

_Ashley laughed bitterly. "I already told you I don't give a fuck about whores-"_

_"How do you feel about pregnant women?" _

Ashley stood on the driveway staring at the 2 story luxury home. The property sat on 1.33 acres and was equipped with everything from a pool to a theatre. "It's beautiful." Ashley heard Spencer say next to her. The rock star disagreed. Staring at the beautiful house in front of her, she couldn't help but think it was the ugliest place in the world.

--------------

Ashley gave Spencer a brief tour of the house. She showed her everything from the kitchen downstairs to her bedroom upstairs. Her room was big and almost empty. Only a bed and dresser occupied the large space. The walls were bare and there wasn't any type of entertainment anywhere.

Spencer dropped her bag on the bed and turned her head. Ashley stood in the middle of the room. Her face was vacant as brown eyes scanned the familiar room. Spencer knew something was up with the rock star. She hadn't said much since they entered the house. The blonde assumed it had something to do with her cocaine cravings and didn't question it. She wanted Ashley to talk about her addiction on her own. She didn't want to have to force it out of her lover. "When was the last time you lived here?"

Ashley snapped her head over to the blonde's voice and shrugged. "About a year and a half ago. I've never really lived here, just sort of visited from time to time."

Spencer wrapped her arms around Ashley's waist and lightly nuzzled the skin on her neck. "You have all of these beautiful houses." She closed her eyes and relished their closeness. "but you hardly live in any of them," She thought of the rock star's beach house and how gorgeous, but empty it was. "I don't understand that."

Ashley picked her hand up and began running her finger through soft blonde hair. "I'm usually sleeping on a bus or in a hotel room. After two weeks of living in the beach house I got restless and left." She sighed. "I just can't stay in one place for too long. When I'm not on tour, I'm spending my time hopping from state to state, staying with friends or sleeping in a hotel room, having a good time….." She placed a tender kiss on her lover's temple, feeling the arms around her waist tighten a little. "I don't want that anymore, Spencer." She whispered honestly. "If you want, after the tour we can fly back to L.A. and do some shopping, you know? Fill the place up for us." Her voice was shaky expressing her nervousness. She really wanted Spencer to move in with her. Having little experience in relationships, she didn't realize how big of a step that was.

Shocked, Spencer pulled back and gazed into anxious brown eyes. "Are you asking me to move in with you?" She calmly asked.

Ashley nodded hearing the hammering in her chest like a frantic drum beat. Spencer stood still, quiet for a second. It was a major step in their relationship and a major relief to the blonde. Ashley's proposal said more than a thousand words. Words she loved hearing. Ashley didn't want anyone else, only her. It made Spencer deliriously happy and the wide smile on her face said it all. Moving forward, she placed a loving kiss on Ashley's lips. "Yes, I'll move in with you." She breathed happily.

Excited, Ashley captured the blonde's lips in a heated kiss that left them both panting for air. "You won't regret this, Spence. I promise."

Spencer smiled softly and kissed her chin. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

They held each other's gaze for what seemed like forever, smiling and softly caressing each other. The amount of love they held for each other shunned visibly in each others eyes. Brown eyes lowered and landed on moist parted lips. Ashley leaned forward and gave into her urge to kiss the blonde, but then stopped when she heard voices downstairs. They were loud obnoxious voices. Ashley pulled back with a sigh. "It seems our guests are here." She mumbled miserably.

"Forget about them." Spencer husked, taking her lover's hand and leading them to the bed.

--------------

Aiden walked through the doorway, smiling his excitement. He couldn't wait to tell Spencer about Darcey and how she quit her job to tour with him. "Baby you'll love this place." He told the waitress walking behind him. "It's huge with just about everything you can imagine, including a bowling alley." He winked at her knowing she loved to bowl.

Darcey's brown eyes lit up as she gazed into excited blue ones. "You're kidding me! How loaded is this guy? This crib looks pretty expensive." She took her boyfriend's hand and turned her head. They were standing in front of the large oak door; the royal staircase had her full attention. She had never seen anything like it. The double staircase was paneled in oak with heavily carved railing, making it look extremely fancy and expensive.

"Do we get to go upstairs?" Her tone was hushed, making Aiden chuckle. The rest of the band was already in the studio. That was confirmed by the muffled laughter coming from the basement. Aiden knew they weren't supposed to go snooping around Pops' house without Davies permission, but he wanted desperately to impress his lady. Plus, he wanted to find Spencer and from what Glen had told him outside, she wasn't downstairs.

Pink lips parted, exposing two rows of perfect, straight, pearl white teeth. "Of course we do. But first you have to see the first floor."

They walked past the double staircase and entered the living room. It was huge with wooden flooring that shined, reflecting a recent polishing. The walls were beige with huge arch windows. No blinds covered them, allowing vast amount of sunlight to fill the room. "It's so pretty in here!" Darcey complimented, fingering the abandoned expensive furniture.

"Yeah, I forgot how awesome this house was." Aiden murmured, checking out the complex stereo system attached to the flat screen tv. "Can you believe they hardly live here?" His body extended its full 6 foot 2 as he stood up and met his girlfriend's bewildered gaze. "The only time Ashley or Pops are ever here is to record in the studio. They just leave when they finish and don't return until it's time to record again. It's like they hate this place or something."

Darcey's jaw nearly dropped. "You're kidding me?" She gawked. "Who in their right mind could hate this gorgeous home?!"

Aiden shrugged. "I guess they've been rich for so long that luxury doesn't impress them anymore."

"Gees, I wish I had it this good." She looked around the room and briefly admired the art hanging on the walls. "I bet they have it so easy. Ashley and Pops."

"Yeah, C'mon lets see the kitchen and then head upstairs and find that bowling alley."

Darcey squealed while hugging him. "Ohhhh I can't wait. You're the best."

Aiden kissed her and they went off to the next room.

--------------

_Ashley sat on the couch, watching her step mother frantically pick up around the house, The living room was already spotless, but the auburn haired teen knew Cynthia was just extremely nervous about Pops flying in that night. Hell, she was nervous for her. Hearing about the pregnancy changed her attitude toward the blonde. Her bitterness turned into shock and then nervousness. She was nervous because her father had stated more than once that he didn't want anymore children. The last time she heard him say that was a couple of months ago. They were on their way to Vegas and Pops was having a party on the tour bus. Men and whores filled the bus, making Ashley sick. She sat on the couch with Glen just watching everyone act like drunk jackasses. She never drank with her father and his friends. She wasn't comfortable with the idea of being trashed around her father's stupid perverted friends. Disgusted, brown eyes watched her father ask some guy for a condom. The woman he was going to use it on was on his lap, sucking his neck and face as he spoke. The guy laughed 'You don't need no rubber, just fuck the ho." He slurred, Ashley looked away and wished she were somewhere else. The smell of alcohol, sex, and marijuana was something she never got used to. 'I don't want anymore fucking kids!' Ashley's head snapped up at the amount of venom she heard in her father's voice. 'I don't want anymore whores demanding fucking child support! I swear, the next bitch that gets pregnant will regret it. I'll make sure of that. My money is too good to be wasted on sluts.' Ashley rolled her eyes and got off the couch. She hated her father. He was an asshole. She walked into the back room and locked the door. Lying on the floor, the bed being too disgusting to even look at, much less sleep in, she closed her eyes and waited for sleep to claim her. _

_The memory brought a frown to the teen's face._

_The look did not go unnoticed by Cynthia. "Are you okay?" She asked with genuine concern._

_Ashley snapped out of her haze and shrugged. "Yeah. I'm fine." She lied. She was worried for the blonde, which was surprising since she normally didn't give a fuck about her dad's whores. But then again, Cynthia was different from her father's past wives. She was nice and very kind. Very normal. Just a woman from a small town in Colorado. "Are you sure you want to tell him tonight?" She blurted out, the concern on her face surprising the blonde. _

_Cynthia smiled warmly at her concern. "Yes. It's his child too. I think he'll be happy for us." _

_Ashley wasn't so sure. "He has other kids. Kids he doesn't see or want. He gets pissed off every month when its time to pay child support. I don't think he'll like that you're pregnant. He obviously has enough mouths to feed."_

_"But we're in love." She retorted gently. "He'll want this child. Don't worry Ashley; everything will work out for the best. You're father is a great guy. I see how much he loves you. You two are always hugging and smiling at each other. He's a wonderful father." _

_Ashley fought back an eye roll. She knew Cynthia was referring to their media image. They weren't close at all. "Yeah," She mumbled while hopping off the couch. "I'm going upstairs, call me whenever dinner's ready." She called out while stomping up the stairs. _

_Cynthia sighed and rubbed her belly. _

_She hopped Ashley was wrong. _

Gray eyes opened and blinked several times. It took the blonde a couple of seconds to catch her bearings. She wasn't used to waking up in rooms that weren't her own yet. Whisking away disheveled blonde hair from her eyes, Spencer lifted her head off the pillow and turned her head. A smile formed over her lips when she noticed her sleeping lover. The auburn haired teen was completely naked, sprawled out across the bed with only a cool silk blanket unevenly covering her bare skin. Spencer relaxed against her pillow and enjoyed the view. Watching Ashley sleep never got old. She loved how peaceful and relaxed she looked in her sleep. Her lips were closed, one of the corners tilted upward, forming a small half smile. Her arms were up over her head, hands touching the headboard and her legs were spread eagle. She laid on her back; only her soft quiet breathing filled the room with noise.

Spencer soaked up her lover's hot naked body, paying extra attention to the rise and fall of her naked breasts, but decided to ignore the heat rising between her legs and let Ashley sleep. She had to be exhausted. Gray eyes closed as She blissfully remembered the orgasm she had bestowed upon her girlfriend. Watching her brown eyes close, back arch, feeling nails dig intensely into her skin, hearing the soundless scream escape parted moist lips; Spencer enjoyed every second of the beautiful moment. Expressing her love by kissing every inch of Ashley's soft face as she held her through her spasms. They fell asleep soon after that and sometime during their nap had drifted away from each other.

Spencer scooted closer to Ashley and watched her sleep at a closer angle. She looked more her age up close and asleep. Maybe even younger than her 17 years. At that moment, Spencer couldn't picture Ashley as a drug addict. She could easily see her as a normal kid from her high school. Someone with no major problems and a loving family. It wasn't fair, she had that, why didn't Ashley? She reached out and brushed auburn hair away from her lover's eyes, wondering if she would have liked that kind of lifestyle.

Gray eyes traveled down from her serene face to her perfect breasts and tight belly. Ashley's abs were more defined than hers and she had slimed down a bit since their first encounter, making Spencer worry. It couldn't be healthy to be so lean, she thought silently and vowed to encourage Ashley to eat more frequently. Once a week wasn't enough.

A blush crept up her neck and onto her cheeks. She admired the perfect landing strip of dark wispy hair over the smooth skin between Ashley's legs and laughed at how well kept it looked. It had to be Ashley's favorite part of her anatomy. Of course she kept it looking good.

Spencer moved her gaze back up and moved onto her side; her head resting on the palm of her hand. With two fingers, she began stroking up and down her lover's abs, enjoying the layers of soft skin covering hard muscle. A smile graced her lips when a tanned hand rose up covered hers. Spencer flattened her hand against Ashley's abs and allowed her lover to guide them upward, onto a naked breast. "That's better," Ashley murmured with a lazy smile.

Spencer chuckled and moved closer to her lover, placing a lingering kiss on her smooth cheek. "Did you sleep well?" She whispered near her ear, cupping the breast in her hand and allowing her thumb to brush over an aroused nipple.

"Not really," She gasped, opening her eyes and meeting Spencer's gray orbs. "Harder," She pleaded softly, craving a firmer touch.

Spencer obliged and held her firmer while tenderly messaging her nipple. "Better?" She dipped her head and began slowly kissing down her neck; sucking and nipping lightly at her sensitive skin.

Ashley threw her head back and offered Spencer more of her skin as she buried her hands into flawless blonde hair. "Unbelievable," She moaned, feeling a warm wet mouth enclose over her other nipple. "I love waking up with you," She husked, feeling the blonde's tongue flick violently over her swollen bud.

Nipping gently at the darker skin around a hardened bud, Spencer closed her eyes and ignored the little voice inside her head telling her to stop. She knew they should have been in the studio with Glen and the others long ago. The problem was she was finding Ashley's body extremely irresistible. Everything else could just wait until she and Ashley were completely sated.

Spencer pulled her head up and settled herself half on top of Ashley, half next to her. She moved up and supported herself on an elbow; her free hand kneading the rock star's breast. She loved the full body contact and the tanned hand tracing her cheekbones and jaw as she stared into desire filled brown eyes. "I'm going to kiss you," She breathed, lowering her head to fulfill her promise.

Ashley closed her eyes.

_"I'm going to kill you! You fucking bitch!"_

Brown eyes shot open and she abruptly tore her mouth away from Spencer's.

The voice had been so clear, she could have sworn he was in the room. Ashley sat up, pushing aside a very confused blonde; she stared at the wall while a voice inside her mind screamed 'I hate this fucking house!' There was no way she could ever live there again. The memories were hell and she was reliving them. They even plagued her in her sleep. She wished she could just forget them and the house all together.

Taking a deep breath, she exhaled shakily and turned her head after feeling a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked confusedly. She had no idea what she did to make the rock star react so… suddenly. "Did I do something wrong?"

Ashley could tell Spencer felt self conscious by her tone and felt bad. "You didn't do anything wrong, Spence." She spoke honestly. "It's me." She sighed, moving her eyes from dark gray orbs to the white sheets covering her bed. "I had this dream while I slept and it just popped into my mind while we were kissing. Sorry I freaked out, I told you I didn't sleep well." She added lightly.

Spencer rubbed her upper arm sympathetically. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked placing a light kiss on her shoulder.

Ashley shook her head. "I'm fine." She lied, not wanting to talk about the house and the memories that came with it. She had done a fabulous job of forgetting the memories up until now, but being inside of the house… it changed everything.

Feeling the hands on her body get bolder, Ashley moved away from Spencer and got off the bed. "We should meet up with the guys." She suggested, avoiding the blonde's gaze by picking out clothes from her back pack. She was too distracted by her thoughts to continue anything sexual.

Spencer watched Ashley with confusion written all over her face. The rock star wouldn't even look at her!

Ashley stared blankly down at her back pack. She kept thinking about her step mother and the night her father came home. It all played, rewind, and then played again in her mind. Feeling someone touch her arm, she turned her head and then jerked away with a yelp when she saw Cynthia's face. She blinked and realized it was just Spencer. "fuck," She breathed, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. "This house is driving me insane."

Gray eyes watched Ashley's posture with concern. She had no idea what was bothering her lover. Ashley was just staring down at the floor with a vacant expression. Spencer took a seat next to her and grabbed her hand, waiting for brown eyes to look at her before speaking. "What's wrong, Ashley?" She asked gently.

Ashley opened her mouth to answer, but couldn't think of anything to say. She was too lost in her lover's dark gray orbs to lie. They held too much love and genuine concern. "I'm just seeing things, but that's expected when you're on cocaine. Illusions and stuff…don't be surprised if I start seeing unicorns and other fictional creatures." She forced a grin on her face. "I may even mistake you for the cat in the hat." She joked standing up.

Spencer followed the rock star with her eyes and watched as she opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. She admired how Ashley took the illusion thing so lightly. She would freak out if she saw a unicorn. The blonde accepted the illusion explanation but had a feeling that wasn't the only thing bothering Ashley. She had been tense and uncomfortable since walking into the house. It wasn't until they got into bed that Ashley seemed to relax. But that was obviously short lived since Ashley's behavior was uneasy again.

The sound of running water caught Spencer's attention. Hearing light patter of footsteps, she turned her body and faced the bathroom door. Seconds later auburn hair, followed by Ashley's soft features, popped out of the doorway. "Join me in the shower?" She offered softly.

Spencer smiled. "Do you really have to ask me that?"

--------------

Aiden took a long gulp from his Dasani water bottle. Bored with the conversation around him, he surveyed the room. Glen sat in the far corner of the room, secluded, with music sheets in his hands. A few feet away, on a couch, was where Clay sat, talking to Darcey and a couple of other musicians. His eyes stayed glued to Darcey as she laughed and playfully swatted Mike on his upper arm. He thought of Spencer. She never got along with Mike or anyone else in the band. He was glad Darcey was different. They would have the same group of friends, something he and Spencer never had.

His mind stayed on Spencer and he thought back to the tour he had given Darcey. They had gone upstairs and near Ashley's bedroom. There, Aiden had heard some interesting sounds emitting from Ashley's bedroom. It was very obvious they were sex related sounds. He quickly grasped his girlfriend's hand, intent on going back downstairs, but then froze when he heard Ashley moan Spencer's name. He was flabbergasted and it wasn't until Darcey disrupted his many thoughts that he began moving again.

Blue eyes moved back to Glen. Out of everyone else in the room, he was the closest to Ashley. He would know if Ashley was sleeping with Spencer. Aiden didn't think it was possible for Spencer to be gay. He laughed at the thought. A small part of him doubted he was hearing things right. Maybe he was just imagining Ashley moaning his ex's name.

Standing to his full height, Aiden strode over to Glen and took the seat next to him. "Hey dude," He greeted neutrally.

Glen put his papers down and met his gaze. "Hey. What's up?"

Aiden opened his mouth but didn't answer. He didn't know how to word the question. Should he be subtle or blunt? "I was just wondering about Ashley." He started patiently. "How has she been?"

The blonde shrugged. "Okay, I guess. She's still breathing. That's a good sign."

The blue eyed man was a bit taken aback by his tone. It was almost bitter. Glen and Ashley had always been close and constantly confided in each other. Something was obviously up. "Oh, well yeah that's great that she's great." He babbled. "Is she seeing anyone?" He blurted out, losing all patience.

Glen shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Um, you know how Ashley is. She sees a lot of people."

Aiden nodded but wasn't satisfied with the answer. "Where is Ashley? And why haven't I seen Spencer yet?"

Again, Glen shrugged and picked up his papers; scanning them. "Their probably doing some chick thing. Make up and stuff." The lie didn't sound good to his ears. He doubted Aiden believed it." They'll pop up sooner or later."

As if on cue, the studio door opened and Spencer walked in.

--------------

Ashley stomach growled as she opened the refrigerator door and examined its contents. She was hardly ever hungry and she couldn't remember the last time her stomach begged so violently for food. It probably had something to do with her lack of cocaine use for that day. She wondered if Spencer was as hungry as she was. Ashley grabbed a couple of things and placed them on the island. After their shower, the blonde had said nothing about her own appetite after demanding she go straight to the kitchen, instead of the studio, and eat something. Ashley didn't argue with the blonde's demands, she just finished dressing and did what she was told. "Well if I have to eat, she does too." She decided, walking back to the ice box to grab more food.

She decided to make something quick, yummy, and light. A turkey wrap instantly came to mind. Healthy and very easy to make; Ashley knew it would be a breeze to prepare. She grabbed a couple of plates and laid out two tortillas, one on each plate. Walking to the sink, she grabbed a bowl from a nearby cabinet and set it by her tortillas. She added salad dressing with spices and began mixing it in the bowl. Satisfied, she spread the dressing on each tortilla and grabbed the packet of turkey.

"Is your chef sick or something?" She heard snickered behind her.

Startled, Ashley turned around and met unfamiliar brown eyes. "I don't have a chef." She answered flatly. "Who are you?"

Darcey walked closer to the rock star, half star struck, half disgusted. "I'm with Aiden, my name is Darcey. Not that you care. You probably look down on little people like me."

Was she serious? The auburn haired teen was so confused. She didn't understand what this stranger's problem was with her. She wondered if they ever slept together. That would explain her angry expression. Ashley was never kind to her groupie friends. "What the hell are you talking about? I don't appreciate bullshit in my own house." She snarled, annoyed with the brunette.

Darcey laughed humorlessly. "I can't believe you call this place that. Aiden's told me all about you. How you've never spent more than a couple of days here. What is a 7 million dollar home not good enough for you? Do you need a 10 million dollar home to satisfy you?"

Ashley smirked. "I actually have a 10 million dollar home in Australia. I've only spent a day there." She shrugged.

The brunette gasped. "I can't believe you! I grew up in a trailer, you know how much all of this means to me? And it means nothing to you? You just don't know how lucky you are." She added softly, all of the anger draining from her demeanor as she looked around the room. "You have it so good-"

"No I don't." Ashley interrupted firmly. "Believe me, there is nothing in my life for you to envy. Including this fucking house." She was done talking. She didn't feel the need to explain herself any further to a stranger. The girl probably had a loving family, high school diploma, and many caring friends.

Ashley envied her normal life and despised her own.

--------------

After greeting everyone, Spencer settled down next to Aiden and Glen. She instantly noticed the discomfort on Glen's face and met her ex's eyes. "What's up?" She hid the nervousness in her voice and unconsciously placed her hand over the hickey on her neck. She fixed her hair to cover it but she still felt self conscious. Having her hand over it helped.

Aiden didn't know what to say as he gazed into gray orbs. Again, he asked himself if he should be subtle or blunt. His eyes flickered over to Glen. This wouldn't work. He looked at Spencer and spoke calmly, "Can I speak to you alone?"

Spencer was a bit surprised but nodded her okay anyway. She looked over at Glen and mumbled an 'excuse me' before getting up and walking out of the room with Aiden. "What's up?" She asked as soon as he closed the door. They stood in the hallway that led to the staircase that led to the 1st floor. It wasn't overly private but good enough for both Aiden and Spencer.

Aiden stared intently into her eyes as he spoke. "I guess I'll start from the start. I brought Darcey with me on tour," He smiled at the mention of her name. "We hit it off that night in the hotel and I think I'm falling hard for her." Spencer also smiled. She was happy for him.

"Does she know our story?"

Aiden nodded. "Yeah and she's okay with us keeping our image, but we can't do anything past hugging." He added quickly.

Spencer chuckled. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm happy with-"

"Ashley?" Aiden finished questionably.

Spencer stood frozen, smile falling from her face. She was going to say 'my lover' and wasn't expecting him to say Ashley, of all people. Should she lie or be honest? "Where is this coming from?" She answered with a question of her own.

Aiden gasped. "It's true!"

"I didn't say that." Spencer hissed.

"I know you Spencer. You never answer a question with a question unless you're stalling. And if it weren't true you would have denied it immediately." He scratched the stubble on his chin breaking eye contact. "This sucks. I turned you into a lesbian! Was I that bad of a boyfriend?"

Spencer wasn't expecting that for a response. "No, you were a great boyfriend." She reassured quickly, realizing Aiden was being seriously insecure about it.

Aiden met her gaze. "Then how did I lose you to Ashley?"

There was no anger in his voice. His tone was all curiosity and wonder, relieving Spencer. "It's hard to explain, Aiden. But if I had to put it in words I'd tell you that I've felt connected to Ashley since day 1. There's just this indescribable bond between us that holds us together so tightly. I've never felt it with anyone else." She admitted lowering her gaze. She didn't want to see Aiden's expression, assuming he'd be hurt.

"I guess that's what they call love." He said dreamily. Spencer looked up. "That's how I feel about Darcey. I really think she's my soul mate." He added with a blush.

Spencer laughed and pulled him into a hug. "I'm glad you've found your soul mate, Aiden."

They pulled away and Aiden smiled hugely at her. "I'm glad you found yours too."

--------------

"What not enough rooms?" Darcey shot back. The nerve of this girl! Saying a 7 million dollar home was nothing to envy. "I can't believe how ungrateful you are. Millions of people would kill for your perfect life…." She continued, moving closer to the rock star.

Ashley focused solely on the vegetables she was cutting. She tried tuning the annoying girl's voice out of her head but couldn't. Everything Darcey said drilled into her mind like a screw and it wasn't until she felt a hand angrily grasped her upper arm that she snapped.

Ashley moved suddenly and shoved a shocked Darcey against the counters, her head hitting the kitchen's cabinet's violently. She brought her arm up and angrily embedded the knife into the cabinet, mere inches away from Darcey's head. Scared brown eyes saw the knife's silver blade out of the corner of her eye. Darcey's heart was racing as she stared into furious brown eyes. Their bodies were insanely close, she could feel Ashley's quick breaths against her chin.

Ashley smirked at Darcey's fear and discomfort. She leaned further into the brunette, their bodies making full contact as she brushed her lips against her ear. "Millions of people would kill to be in this position." She emphasized her point by pressing her thigh seductively against Darcey's center, not surprised when the brunette lightly moaned in her ear. Ashley rolled her eyes, thinking 'slut' as she completely moved away from Darcey and pulled the knife out of the cabinet. Walking away, She continued cutting vegetables, happy Darcey wouldn't be saying much anymore.

Darcey stood in a state of shock, trying to get her body back under control. Her heart was still racing and she felt the adrenaline and arousal furiously run through her small frame. She hated the feeling. "D-don't you ever touch me like that again." She spat venomously.

Ashley snorted, not taking her eyes off the tomato she was dicing perfectly. "Like I'd want to." She retorted sarcastically. "Believe me, I've had much better offers."

Darcey didn't say anything. She just stared at the auburn haired teen questionably. "Are you a dyke?" She blurted out unconsciously.

Ashley paused and looked at her. "Yeah," She said in place of 'duh'.

Darcey smiled. "Aiden never told me that." She mused. "ha, now I know why your life isn't enviable. Your going to die and rot in hell anyway."

Ashley chuckled. "I guess I'll see you there. Premarital sex is also a sin."

Darcey didn't reply, she couldn't think of anything to say. Her and Aiden were sexually active.

Sensing Darcey's loss of words, Ashley focused on her wraps and continued putting them together.

--------------

Spencer watched Aiden walk back into the studio and decided to check on Ashley. She passed Darcey on the way and was surprised by the negative energy that oozed off her. The frown and lack of greeting was also an indication that she was not a happy camper. Spencer sighed before taking the stairs 2 at a time. She had a feeling Ashley had something to do with her sullenness.

Spencer stepped into the kitchen and her feelings died when she caught sight of her lover. Ashley looked so innocent folding each tortilla perfectly. Her eyes were solely on the wraps, expressing deep concentration. A smile spread over Spencer's lips as she strolled over to the auburn haired teen and hugged her from behind.

"Whoa," Ashley exclaimed as she felt a chin nestle comfortably on her shoulder.

"Looks wonderful, darling." Spencer murmured, kissing the skin on her neck.

Ashley fought back a shiver as she felt the blonde's tongue taste her sensitive skin. "Glad you think so," she breathed, feeling confident hands cup her breasts. "Baby, do you really think this is smart? Anyone could walk in and catch us." She felt like an idiot for trying to convince the blonde to stop, but deep down, she knew it was the right thing to do.

"Sorry," Spencer blushed furiously. "I couldn't help myself, you looked so darn cute." She placed a kiss on Ashley's cheek and removed her hands from her body. Stepping beside her girlfriend, she peered down at the delicious looking food. "Oh Ashley this is going to be really yummy." She grabbed her plate and waited for Ashley to do the same before grabbing her girlfriend's free hand and leading them into the dinning room.

They ate slowly at the dinner table, due to all of the talking they were doing. Their conversation was full of light banter, past experiences, and everything else that came to mind. There was no talk of drugs, sex, or even their careers. It was all simple joyful conversation.

Spencer placed her empty plate on top of Ashley's and sat back contented in her chair. She sat next to Ashley on the longer side of the table. Ashley's hand rested comfortably on her thigh with Spencer's hand covering it. "That was really good, Ashley. You should really rethink your career." she said playfully. "I can see you working as a chef in a 5 star restaurant.

The auburn haired teen smiled. "I'm glad you liked it, but don't you think it'd be a bit silly of me to work as a chef when I can buy my own restaurant. It's not like I don't have the money."

Spencer regarded her curiously. "Is a restaurant something you want?"

Ashley shrugged. "I don't know what I want. I can be in this band for the rest of my life for all I know."

The sadness in her tone was not lost on Spencer. "Ashley you don't have to be in this band for the rest of your life." She spoke softly. "If you're not happy doing this, leave."

Ashley broke their gaze and stared down at their hands. She watched Spencer's thumb stroke her skin with rapt attention. "It's not that easy Spencer. What would I do then? All I'm good at is playing guitar and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in some mansion doing absolutely nothing. I've already traveled around the world, met celebrities, and there is enough money in my bank account to last several lifetimes. I feel like there's nothing left for me to do."

"You're a good cook, Ashley." Spencer reminded. "And I can tell you enjoy cooking. Start your own restaurant if it makes you happy. I'll even help you with the research."

Ashley looked up. "You seriously think I can start a restaurant?"

Spencer nodded. "It's not like you don't have the money."

--------------

Ashley sat in the studio lightly strumming her guitar. The atmosphere was positive and clean, the opposite from what it normally was, especially with Aiden's band joining them. Normally, Ashley would be too busy getting high to worry about anything else. Who cares about music when there is cocaine sitting right in front of me, was her mentality, but this time there were no drugs present, and it relieved her. Earlier, Mike had complained to her about Roscoe. He had stopped the drummer from bringing in alcohol into the studio. That surprised Ashley. Roscoe never cared if they did drugs or drank in the studio. She wondered if her Dad put him up to it and if she should despise or thank him for it.

Brown eyes looked up and Ashley gritted her teeth in frustration when she caught Aiden staring at her for the thousandth time that day. She didn't have a clue what his problem was. When she stepped into the studio, he greeted her briefly with a goofy look on his face. She returned the greeting and retreated to one of her favorite chairs in the room; a guitar in one hand, a can of Dr. Pepper in the other.

"That sounded awesome Ash." Mike complimented in the chair next to hers.

She looked at him. "I was just strumming. Have you taken anything today?" She asked conversationally, looking down at the fingers moving across the guitar strings.

Mike smiled, his dark sunglasses covering his blood shot eyes. "A couple of things. But just a couple of pain pills recently. I brought you some coke but that asshole Roscoe took my shit." He sat up in his chair and leaned forward. "Baby, lets ditch this joint and go find some fun. I have a friend who lives around here. The dude always has good shit and hot babes."

Ashley continued strumming her guitar; her fingers roughly stroking each cord as she thought about Mike's offer. It'd be so easy to just get up and leave with him, find some coke and sate her body's constant need for the drug. She looked up and smiled at beautiful gray eyes staring into her own. Her fingers relaxed and she strummed lightly, mouthing 'I love you' to the woman she loved more than anything else in the world. More than cocaine.

"I'll pass Mike." She answered after receiving a 'I love you more' from Spencer's lips. Brown eyes met his sunglasses. "I'm already in deep shit with Pops," she sighed. "I'm getting tired of all of his bitching." She stopped strumming and drank more of her Dr. Pepper.

Mike nodded in understanding. "I know how you feel. Kent bitches a lot too." He stood up. "But that's not going to stop me from fucking hot babes. See ya in Miami."

Ashley watched him leave and felt unusually proud. She turned down sex and drugs without much of a internal debate, that didn't happen often. Her smile reflected how happy she felt at the moment. Maybe she wasn't as weak as she thought she was. She looked up and met Spencer's amused expression. The blonde stood in a small group of 4 people. Aiden, Darcey, Glen and some guy she didn't know.

The rock star set her guitar aside and strolled over to Spencer. She leaned in close and whispered in her ear. "I feel really amazing." She admitted almost giddily.

Spencer mirrored Ashley's smile when she noticed the twinkle in her vibrant brown eyes. "And why is that," She asked quietly, fighting back the urge to kiss her girlfriend.

"I said no," She answered softly. "When Mike invited me over for sex and drugs." She absently fingered the ring on Spencer's hand. "I don't think I've ever turned him down. I just feel really good for doing it."

Spencer pulled Ashley into a loving hug, ignoring everyone else in the room. "I'm so proud of you." She murmured in her ear.

Ashley returned the hug. "Me too."

They pulled apart and brown eyes caught blue eyes staring again. "Excuse me."

She crossed the short distance and grabbed Aiden's hand, leading them to the other side of the studio. "Why do you keep staring at me?" She asked bluntly.

Aiden chuckled. "Sorry, ever since Spencer told me about you and her- I just can't help it. It's hard to picture you with a girlfriend." He shrugged.

Ashley was a bit surprised by the news. When did Spencer tell him about us? "When did she tell you?" She wondered out loud.

"Earlier today." He moved forward and wrapped his arms around her tense frame. "I'm so happy for you buddy." He said letting go of her. "We should double date! Darcey, me and Spencer and you! Oh we would have a great time."

The rock star stared at him. "Darcey is your girlfriend?" She hid the shock in her voice but her mind was still reeling from everything else Aiden had told her.

Aiden nodded. "Soul mate actually." He looked over at the brunette. She was talking deeply with Spencer. "I really love her Ash." He met her brown eyes and blushed a bit.

"She seems great." Ashley lied. She wasn't about to call his soul mate a bitch. "I'm happy you found her and she makes you happy." She added genuinely.

"Same here." He responded before his eyes landed on the guitar leaning against the chair. "Oh Ash you have to hear what I came up with the other night."

He grabbed the guitar and all relationship talk died, replaced by music.

--------------

The next 3 hours were spent actually working. From guitar solos to vocals, everyone ended up recording and writing something. Everything went extremely well and when it was over, Ashley watched everyone leave and took her guitar off. It was time to head out to Miami for their show. She wasn't too excited about the trip, mainly because she'd have to see Sammy. She normally didn't dread having to see the gorgeous blonde, but the circumstances were different. She had a girlfriend now.

The rock star walked to the door and stepped out of the studio. She made it her mission to go and set Sammy straight on things. There would be no sex, drugs or alcohol tonight. For the first time in a long time, they were going to hang out and have some clean fun. At least that's how Ashley wanted to spend their 'date.'

The rock star picked up around the room a little before exiting. She walked up the stairs and noticed the front door open. Brown eyes watched everyone in the front yard. Everyone that was in the studio now stood outside, needing fresh air, Ashley assumed. She turned around and walked up to the 2nd floor, intent on grabbing hers and Spencer's things.

Her eyes fell on her father's bedroom door and she stood frozen. So many bad things...Her legs slowly approached it; she went to it as if in a trance. The cold shiver that ran down her spine snapped her out of it. Brown eyes stared down at her hand. It was shaking as it grasped the doorknob.

_Ashley stared down at her spaghetti. It smelled delicious. She looked up at the chef sitting at the other end of the table. Cynthia was laughing at something Raife had just said. Ashley missed the joke but didn't care. Her father's words didn't exist to her anymore. She looked over at him, happy he was in a good mood despite her hate for him. Maybe he wouldn't be so bitter about the pregnancy. _

_Brown eyes regarded the red pasta again. She couldn't eat it. It reminded her too much of Shannon. That bitch, the 15 year old thought bitterly. In her minds eye, she saw her shannon and the driver fucking, it killed her appetite. It killed her. She hated how 2 months had passed and she still wasn't over her. She remembered experimenting with drugs for the first time not long after her departure. How good it felt to smoke marijuana. She missed the feeling. She craved it. _

_"I want to fly back to L.A. soon." She spoke up for the first time since dinner started. It was rare for any of them to sit down like a family and eat. Ashley didn't like it. "I'm missing Sammy's sleep over." _

_Raife snorted and looked at her. "She's turning into a little slut. Why would you want to spend time with her?" _

_The 15 year old fought back a grin as she thought of Samantha. She was the reason why Ashley was no longer a virgin. Her father would die of anger if he ever found out, that's why it was so hard for her not to open her mouth and reply 'I want to see her for the free sex and drugs.' _

_"She's my friend." Ashley shrugged. "I don't have too many of those and I really like hanging out with her." She slightly narrowed her eyes. "You haven't had a problem with us being friends for the last 15 years, why the sudden interest?" _

_"There is no interest." He snapped. "I'm just asking you a simple question. Why do you wanna spend time with a slut? I thought you'd be sick of them by now but apparently not." He smirked. "Don't tell me you're fucking them already." _

_"Raife!" Cynthia gasped, surprised by the exchange. _

_Ashley almost rolled her eyes. She hated how surprised his new wives would get after seeing them 'talk.' "I'm not fucking sluts." She answered honestly. Samantha was the only person she had slept with, and the memory was fuzzy since both of them were high when they had sex. Apart of Ashley was thankful for it, the cocaine had made her oblivious to her inexperience with sex. The other part just wanted to cry because she felt dirty and uncomfortable the morning after when she woke up alone. Samantha was out with her 'then' boyfriend and had only left Ashley a little note saying she wouldn't be back until noon. Ashley threw it away and got her stuff. She felt sick as she walked out of Samantha's house and headed toward the limo. Later that afternoon, Sammy called and things between them were back to normal. They decided to be fuck buddies and not let anyone know about it, especially Sammy's boyfriend. Ashley was cool with it. Who cares if the sex was meaningless, love was so overrated. She hated it. "I want to fly out there tomorrow, is that okay?" _

_Pops continued eating. "Sure. I'll get you a ticket and a ride to the airport in the morning. Give Samantha my love." His voice oozed sarcasm as he said her name. He had known her for all of her 17 years and never did like the blonde. She reminded him of a rattle snake; just something to stay away from. _

_Ashley stood from her seat. "I'm finished." She announced before leaving the room. The brunette went straight to her room and collapsed on the bed. She was tired and couldn't wait for tomorrow. She smiled against her pillow as her eyes drooped. Samantha would surely have cocaine. It didn't bother Ashley that that was the main reason she wanted to go see Samantha. The drug was amazing, she felt invincible with it. Her eyes closed and it wasn't long before she fell asleep with cocaine on her mind. _

_A fearful cry woke the brunette from her sleep. Ashley shot up and quickly got out of bed when she realized the cry belonged to Cynthia. She opened her bedroom door and followed the screams and pleas to Pops bedroom. She stood frozen at the doorway. _

_Brown eyes watched her father kick Cynthia's abdomen hard as she lied crying on the floor. It wasn't just one kick though, he kept doing it over and over again until the blonde eventually passed out from the pain. Ashley couldn't move as she stood there in shock and fear. Her father was screaming bull shit at her unconscious form and it was painfully obvious he was drunk by the way his words slurred. _

_It then the brunette noticed all of the blood pooled under Cynthia's dress. Her stomach lurched when she saw the tiny human, smaller than a new born puppy, lie dead in the middle of it. "Oh god." She breathed as realization hit. That was her little brother/ sister lying there. Pops had killed it. _

_Ashley turned and ran back into her room. Her hands shook violently as she tied her shoes and grabbed her back pack and cell phone. She was out the front door and running on the sidewalk in seconds. She couldn't think straight, she had no idea where she was running to, but it didn't matter. She just needed to get away from her…father. _

_Her legs started to burn, the pain was unnoticed by the young guitar player. Her heart was racing and her hands still shook from the adrenaline. Her legs stopped when they reached a busy gas station. Ashley walked into the store, sweaty, scared, and confused. She noticed the phone sitting on the check out counter. Should she call the cops? _

_"Are you okay?" One of the workers asked concerned. _

_Ashley's head snapped over to the man. He looked around 18 or 19 with baggy clothes and an ear ring. "I-I'm fine." Her voice shook. She wondered if he had anything she could take. He didn't look like a follower of D.A.R.E. "Listen, I have a lot of money, I'll pay you for something, anything that will get me high." _

_The man smiled thinking of the pain killers in his car. "Don't worry, I got something for ya. Their in my car." _

_Ashley followed the man to his car and accepted the pills urgently. "How much?" _

_"No charge." He smiled and locked his car. "I have to get back inside. Hope you feel better." _

_Ashley dry swallowed the tablets and pulled out her cell phone. She called information and ordered a cab. It arrived in minutes. Ashley hopped in and didn't know how to answer the driver's question. "Where to miss?" _

_"Um," She hesitated. "The airport." _

_The ride to the airport was short lived. Ashley paid the driver and got out. From there she bought a plane ticket, boarded her flight to L.A. and spent the rest of the week doing drugs and sleeping with Sammy. She didn't know what happened to Cynthia, but Pops never got in trouble for what he did. She wondered who and how many millions he paid to keep everything a secret. _

_Ashley didn't know how long she stared at the ceiling, thinking about everything that happened to Cynthia and her young sibling. She never cried about it, but it did sadden her. IT also added onto her hate for her father. She frowned into the darkness. _

_"Aly pass me the coke will ya?" Sammy kissed down her jaw and snuggled up to the naked 15 year old. Ashley did what she was told and reached over to the night stand. She snorted some of the coke before passing it on to her blonde companion. _

_Everything's fine, she smiled as the cocaine surged through her blood stream. The blonde's hands were also convincing her that everything was okay._

_It wasn't._

--------------

Ashley stepped into the room and noticed the new carpet. Everything else was the same except for the flooring. Ashley didn't blame Pops for putting new carpet. The other one had too much blood. "God," she murmured as she stared at the spot the tiny human lied in. She felt a familiar stinging in her eyes as the memory played in her mind again.

"There you are…" Spencer stopped talking when she noticed Ashley's facial expression. It was full of sorrow and anger. "What's wrong?" She asked closing the distance between them.

The rock star met her gaze and didn't bother wiping away her tears. "It's complicated." She answered wrapping her arms around the blonde and burying her face into her neck. "I miss Ky." She murmured against moist skin. Spencer returned the hug and soothingly ran her hand up and down Ashley's back. "I've fucked everything up."

"You can fix it." Spencer pulled back and cupped her cheek, wiping away the tears with her thumb. "It'll get better soon," She placed a tender kiss on her lips. "I promise."

Ashley hugged her again, needing the contact. She felt warm and loved in Spencer's embrace, something she was starting to enjoy. "I have other brothers and sisters out there." She closed her eyes. "One of them died in this room." The words were too quiet for Spencer to hear.

"Really?" Spencer replied surprised.

"Yeah, I've never met them but I know their out there. 2 sisters and a brother. I don't know their ages or names, but I'm the oldest."

"Does Pops see them?"

Ashley shook her head. "He just sends them child support every month." The rock star pulled away from Spencer and wiped her face. "We should get our things and get out of here." She just wanted to leave. Everything was taken its toll on her exhausted body.

Spencer noticed her exhaustion and took her hand, interlaced their fingers, and walked them out the door.

--------------

The show in Miami ended well. There were no problems, making Pops a very satisfied man, and Ashley actually made it to the meet and greet. After signing her name a million times, Ashley stood after the last kid left and walked away from the booth, needing to stretch her legs. It was the first time in awhile she had done the meet and greet sober.

Standing a few feet away from the booth, Ashley waited for Spencer to finish talking with Aiden. Her mind was on where she was going to be in an hour. With Samantha Richmond, in her hotel room, eating room service while talking about this and that. It didn't sound too bad, Ashley just left out the parts where she fights Samantha off her body.

That earned the 17 year old a dreadful internal sigh.

"Oh guess where Aiden and I will be dinning tonight?" Spencer walked next to the rock star as they made their way to their dressing room.

"Hmm, Micky D's. I hear the McRib is back."

Spencer chuckled. "Nope, we're going to find a Celebration Station and eat pizza. After that we're going to buy a thousand tokens and I'm going to win you a prize."

Ashley smiled. "Sounds like fun. I really want a slinky, those things are so cool." She didn't know why she said that. The last time she saw a slinky was when she was 11. Sitting on the bed in their current hotel room, she had watched TV all night long and loved the slinky commercial. She wanted one so bad but never got one.

"I can handle that." The blonde opened the door to their dressing room and closed it once Ashley was inside. She watched the rock star collapse on the couch and quickly did the same, snuggling up to the auburn haired teen; she kissed her leisurely and didn't stop until Ashley's ring tone went off.

The rock star apologized and shifted so she could reach down and pull her cell phone out of her pocket. She flipped open the phone and put it on speaker; her hand making lazy circles on her girlfriend's back as she said "hello."

"Aly, where the hell are you? I've been dying to see you all week."

Ashley blushed at her best friend's sexy voice and didn't feel comfortable with Spencer staring at her. "I'll be there soon, don't leave your hotel room. We have to talk about a couple of things before we hang out, Sammy." Her voice was all business, except toward the end when she gasped. The blonde had chosen that moment to start nibbling down her neck.

"Sounds serious. Is everything alright?"

"F-fine." Ashley stuttered feeling a bold hand on her breast teasing an awakening nipple.

"Aly are you having sex? I've heard you talk like this before. Hmm, last time I think I was eating you out. Do you have some slut doing that to you now?"

Spencer immediately shot up and gaped at Ashley. She didn't like Samantha. Her voice oozed arrogance and Spencer could tell she was a major bitch.

Ashley placed a light kiss on Spencer's lips and mouthed 'sorry' before continuing her phone conversation. "No I'm not having sex-"

"Aly no need to lie. Did I not just hear kissing?" her voice was light and teasing. "If this groupie is worth your precious time, and talented hands, then I'd be more than happy for her to join us. It's been forever and 10 days since our last 3 way."

The rock star sighed, wishing her friend wasn't so bold. "I'll be there in a little bit Sam, bye." She closed her phone and met irritated gray eyes. "Um, she's more subtle in person."

Spencer got off the couch and walked to the door. Negative energy radiated off her overheated body and Ashley feared it. "Where are you going?" She kept her voice cool and calm, hiding the alarm she felt.

The blonde met her gaze and took a deep breath. "I'm going to find the limo. I need a bath." She answered flatly.

Ashley got off the couch and approached her. "I'll ride with you to the hotel, I need one too."

"Right, you have to get ready for that hot date."

The words almost made the rock star flinch. Jealousy and coldness filled her tone. Ashley didn't like how Spencer was acting, it made her feel guilty. "I won't go, Spence. If this is bothering you than it's bothering me too. I love you too much to be putting you through this."

Spencer felt like an ass for keeping Ashley away from her 'friend.' Who was she to keep her from doing what she wanted to do. She was her girlfriend, not her keeper, and she wasn't about to treat Ashley like a prisoner. "No, Honey its okay." She reassured taking the rock star's hand. "Go see Sammy and have fun. I trust you and I apologize for my jealous behavior. It was just awkward hearing her talk about the sexual things you two have done."

Ashley nodded in agreement. "Imagine how I feel." She mumbled with a reddened face. Embarrassment was not something she felt often, mainly because of her drug use, and the unfamiliar emotion made her feel sick. She found it strange and didn't like it. "Thank you for trusting me to be alone with her," She placed a kiss on each of the blonde's fingertips. "I promise you nothing sexual is going to happen between us."

Spencer smiled.

"I believe you, Ashley."

--------------

147, 148, 149, 150. Ashley stopped at room 150 and faced the door. Beyond the white door lied Sammy, her best friend and seductress. She debated briefly on turning back around and running. There were sure to be drugs in the room. Earlier, Ashley was pretty confident she could refuse them if offered but now wasn't so sure. A half hour ago she was in the shower with Spencer. The rock star fought back a smile as she thought of the wet naked blonde. She then remembered her promise to Spencer. No drugs, alcohol or sex. It was easy enough to agree with, at the time. Now Ashley was unsure she could keep her promise. "No," She firmly chastised herself. "I won't break it."

Lifting her arm, Ashley knocked firmly on the door. It wasn't long before Sammy opened the door and stood grinning at her, blanking her mind. It had been a couple of months since their last encounter. The blonde's hair was shorter then, Ashley was surprised by its new longer length. It spilled over her shoulders beautifully. "You look beautiful." She stated somewhat timidly. Was it okay to say that? She wondered as her thoughts drifted back to Spencer.

Green eyes sparkled as the blonde smiled at the compliment. She noticed Ashley's timid form and was amused by it. "Thank you, Aly. Come inside." She moved away and pulled the door open wider, motioning for her to come in.

Ashley did what she was told and stepped inside the suite, watching Sammy close the door. The room of course was gorgeous, big and bright despite it being dark outside; the rock star wasn't amazed by anything in the suite. Not even the hot tub in the living room fazed her. She'd seen it all before.

"Sammy-"She gasped being pushed up against the wall. The words of protest died from her lips when she felt a warm body press up against her, soft breasts could easily be felt against her own. "I love the new hair, Aly." The blonde whispered, tenderly running her fingers through soft auburn locks. Ashley nodded dumbly as she lost herself in the desire that pooled inside excited green eyes.

She felt her wrists being taken in one hand and held up above her head. Samantha used her free hand to slip under her shirt and stroke the skin on her abdomen and sides. "I've wanted you for so long, Aly." Her lips were nearly touching the rock stars as she spoke. "I've missed you." She breathed covering the mouth so close to her own.

Ashley returned the kiss, but it was short lived. With little force she broke the kiss and removed her wrists from Sammy's grasp. She moved away from the blonde and fixed her clothing. Looking up, she met puzzled green eyes apologetically. "I'm sorry Sammy, I can't do that again." She spoke calmly ignoring her racing heart. She wasn't going to deny she was turned on by the blonde's presence. There was something about Samantha Richmond that just lit her fire. It was nothing compared to what Spencer did to her.

Samantha cleared her throat and tried to comprehend what Ashley was telling her. She was more than a little surprised when Ashley broke the kiss and then embrace. It was the first time she had ever denied her advances. "Why not?" She questioned, mirroring Ashley's cool demeanor.

The rock star smiled a little. "Would you believe that I have a girlfriend?"

Green eyes widened. No matter how hard Samantha tried, she couldn't hide the frown that lined her lips. Ashley looked so happy and radiant, but her positive energy only intensified the jealousy she was feeling. "That's…new." She blew out slowly. "When did this happen?"

Ashley was taken aback by her friend's attitude. She seemed bitter. The rock star knew where she and Sammy stood. They loved each other but they weren't in love with each other. There was no reason for her to be bitter about her having a girlfriend. "Not too long ago. Are you cool with me dating someone?" She bluntly asked.

Sammy looked down and chewed on her bottom lip. Her feelings towards Ashley dating someone were confusing. She always saw Ashley as her Aly, it was strange knowing that wasn't true anymore. Her Aly was now someone else's Ashley. It hurt even though she didn't want anything more than friendship and fucking from the rock star. "Aly," She looked back up into patient brown eyes. It occurred to her then how grown up her Aly was. 17 years had passed in a blink of an eye, her younger friend was growing up – why didn't she see this coming? "I'm happy that you're happy. Do I know her?" She thought of all her friends and wondered if one of them was her girlfriend. Ashley knew all the same people she did; it wouldn't surprise her if she was dating one of her friends.

"Not personally, but you may have seen her somewhere in the media." Staring into familiar green eyes, she wondered if telling Sammy was wise. Thinking back, she realized Sammy never did anything to lose her trust. She was safe with the blonde. "It's Spencer Carlin." She responded easily, anxious to see her friend's reaction.

Samantha blinked with surprise, her face conveying the shock she felt. That was the last person she suspected. "The same Spencer Carlin dating Aiden?" Ashley nodded her confirmation. "Who else knows?"

"Only a handful of people. Everyone else still thinks she's with Aiden."

"Does he know?"

"Yeah, he's cool with it." She thought of Darcey. "I think he's dating someone else now."

"How surprising." Samantha's eyes flickered over to the other room. On the coffee table lied the party favors. Walking to the rock star, she took her hand and led her over to the couch. "I think a celebration is in order."

Both girls took a seat on the couch. Ashley noticed the drugs immediately. Brown eyes obsessively stayed glued to the lines of cocaine. Her mind was at war with itself. Her body wanted it so bad; the urge to feed its need was overwhelming. "I can't." Ashley stood up and gazed down into Samantha's surprised face. "Get that shit out of here." She pleaded softly. Her self control was slipping, only the littlest of convincing would have her on her knees in front of the coffee table, snorting every line of cocaine on the silver platter. Ashley hated that she felt so weak. She wished the drugs would disappear from both the room and her mind.

Samantha was momentarily speechless. Ashley's life revolved mostly around cocaine. Why was she denying it now? She then remembered the new addition to her friend's life. Spencer. Of course the blonde wouldn't allow her to do drugs. From what Samantha had seen on magazine covers, Spencer looked like the poster child for D.A.R.E.

The green eyed blonde sank back into the couch and crossed one leg over the other. She held Ashley's gaze and didn't miss her friend's anxiety. Her eyes traveled down the body she was once able to explore. Tanned hands trembled so lightly that she could hardly tell they were moving at all. She looked back into her face and saw fear plus worry. "Aly, just have a little. It will calm your nerves and loosen you up. What do you say?"

The word 'yes' was on the tip of her tongue. Ashley bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep it confined. Her frustration got the best of her and she angrily kicked the platter across the room; spilling the cocaine onto the floor. The white grains lied randomly across the hard wood. "Dammit Sammy, it's hard enough without the shit sitting right in front of me!" She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down. The stinging in her eyes was back and she knew it was only a matter of time before she started crying. "I'm trying to quit and it's so fucking hard, I'm constantly at war with myself for cocaine and my body screams for it almost every second of the day. I hate feeling like this, It's like I've lost myself to this drug and I can't get back." She continued staring into her friend's eyes and fought back shouting 'I hate you.'

_Ashley looked a mess standing outside Samantha's bedroom. The maid had let her in minutes before, not questioning her horrible appearance, to her relief. The 15 year old was miserable and could careless about herself. She was glad her father gave her a two day vacation. She needed it. _

_Samantha opened the door and gasped at Ashley's appearance. Her wild brunette waves were a tangled mess, her clothes tattered and obviously overused, looking like rags. Her face didn't look much better. There were dark circle under her eyes and it obvious she had been crying. "Come here, Aly." The blonde opened her arms and engulfed the small guitar player in a warm embrace; allowing her to cry on her shoulder. _

_Some time later they sat on her bed. Ashley sitting cross-legged in front of Sammy while she combed her hair. She didn't say anything about shannon or her misery. She didn't plan on it either. Sammy on the other hand wouldn't stop talking about her own life. She had just turned 17 and was a senior in high school. Ashley felt a pang of jealousy every time she talked about school. The 15 year old would kill to be normal like her and go to school. _

_Her hair was finished and Ashley turned around on the bed, facing her friend. The pajamas Samantha had given her after her bath were very comfortable. She could sleep forever in the warm material. "Thanks for letting me crash here." She broke her sitting position and lied on her side. "Hotels get boring after awhile." _

_Samantha stared down into her friend's brown eyes. She looked so sad, the blonde wanted to make it better. There was only one solution. "No problem, Aly. I love you and wish you would come by more often." A slender arm reached out and began stroking clean brunette waves. "I know you're not going to tell me, so I'm not going to ask what's wrong. I have some stuff that will make you feel better." She smiled at the curiosity that crossed over her friend's face. She knew Ashley hated drugs, only because her father used them, so never bothered sharing her shit with her. But today was different. Ashley was vulnerable and depressed. She wouldn't decline the chance to feel better. "It's nothing major. Just something to erase your problems." _

_Ashley didn't need coaxing. Her vow to never do drugs was forgotten. Forgetting Shannon was her main priority in life and far more important than some stupid vow. The rock star spent the rest of the night trying everything Samantha had to offer. Cocaine was her favorite. The high made her first time with Sammy, with anyone, the best experience of her young life. She fell asleep wanting more. _

Samantha stood from the couch and approached the auburn haired teen. "I'm so sorry, Aly." She cupped her tanned cheek and began wiping away her tears. "If I would have known – I would have never brought the drugs, I swear Ashley. I love you too much to see you hurt this much. It's killing me." She strainly whispered. She was fighting back her own tears. Her Aly looked tortured, vulnerable, and helpless. She wanted to make things better but didn't know how. This time was different from the others.

Ashley leaned into the warm touch and pulled Samantha in for a hug. Nestling her head against a pale shoulder, the rock star soaked up the comfort and allowed the blonde to gently rock her. Her pained eyes stayed glued to the wall as Samantha whispered calming words into her ear. She didn't blame Samantha for her addiction. There was only one person responsible for the mess she was in and that was herself. "How's college life?" She pulled away from the blonde and caught her green eyes.

Samantha wasn't surprised by the abrupt change in subject. Ashley had a knack for changing subjects when things got too intense. "Wonderful." She turned around and walked to the bar, "Would you like something to drink?" Ashley declined as she poured herself a glass of wine. "How's the music biz?" She took a sip of her drink and shook her head. "Don't answer that, it's all Daddy talks about."

Ashley chuckled and felt herself loosen up a bit. "Actually, I think I'll take that drink."

--------------

Spencer waited for the green light to turn on before taking her card and opening the door. The night had been fun. She and Aiden did some bonding and got photographed by the media. That mission was accomplished, and then later on she won Ashley's slinky, her greatest achievement for the night. "Anyone here?!" She called out curiously. Getting no answer, Spencer placed the slinky and her other things on a nearby table as she headed toward the bedroom. She was tired from the night's events. It felt like 2 A.M. instead of 10.

The gray eyed blonde took a quick shower and then dried herself off before getting into bed. She enjoyed sleeping naked, the feeling was incredible and comfortable.

Gray eyes were just starting to droop when her cell phone went off. Spencer reached for it on the nightstand and smiled when the small screen read 'Mom.'

"Mother, what a surprise. How have you been?"

"Wonderful Spencer, how is the lime light treating you?"

Spencer smiled at her mother's neutral tone. It was obvious she was upset about something. "What did I do now? I swear I've been good."

Paula sighed. "You haven't done anything wrong sweetheart. It's just I would appreciate hearing your lovely voice every once in awhile. You are my only daughter and I'm your old lonely mother, I wish you would take a couple of minutes out of your day to keep this old goat company."

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Mother you know you look amazing for your age and you're not lonely. Every one in town knows who you are and our house is never free from guests. You know there is always someone there."

"But they don't take your place Spencer. I wish you would give up this little career thing and come back home. I don't care if you go back to school or not, I just want my little girl safe in her room where I can watch over her."

Spencer rolled over on her back and watched the ceiling fan spin. "Mom, I'll be there soon." She thought of Ashley's proposal and wondered how her Mom would take her moving out. "I might even bring a friend home."

"Really? And who is this friend?"

"Ashley-"

"Davies." She finished abruptly. "The lesbian with the drug problem." Her mother paused. "Spencer have you been going to church? I hope you've had time for God."

"Sorry mother. I've been busy-"

"Too busy for God Spencer?" Her mother's tone was light and filled more with concern than anger. "Honey, you're always busy. I'm worried the stress is going to get you doing dangerous things like drugs or alcohol."

"I know better than that, Mother and I promise you I'm okay and I'm going to stay okay so stop worrying about me. I'm sure you have bigger things on your plate. How's the ER?"

"I don't want to talk about that Spencer. You know how it is." Spencer nodded. Her mother worked the night shift at the hospital and had to deal with bloody messes from accidents like car wrecks. "Honey your father wants to talk with you."

"Put him on."

--------------

The room was spinning but Ashley didn't mind. Her one glass of wine soon turned into a couple of more. She now cradled a bottle, instead of a glass, of wine in her lap. "I fucking love you Sammy," She slurred and crawled over to her friend who was sitting at the other end of the couch.

Samantha was in the same condition as Ashley. She held her liquor better than Ashley but she was drunk just the same. There was a video camera in her hand and she held it pretty sturdy despite her intoxicated state. It was something they always did while drunk or high. Take out a camera and film themselves acting up. "No baby, I don't think you do love me." She zoomed down into Ashley's bloodshot eyes and allowed the rock star to stroke up and down her inner thigh. "I think you love Spencer Carlin." She laughed as Ashley abruptly sat up and placed her hands in her lap. A guilty expression etched over her smooth face. "Forgot about her for a second, didn't ya?"

Ashley groaned and flopped back down on the couch. Her back made contact with the leather cushion while her eyes stayed glued to Samantha. "Maybe." She admitted frankly.

Samantha tsked and moved her body along hers. A blonde head rested against the rock stars shoulder. Sammy held the camera above them and continued filming. "Does Spencer love you too, Aly. Hmm, does she love you more than me?"

The words were spoken huskily near her ear, they made Ashley shiver. She couldn't help her body's reaction to the gorgeous blonde. Her voice alone sparked her arousal. It was 10x worst when she was intoxicated. "Spencer loves me very much." She smiled and turned her head, meeting Sammy's drunken gaze. "No comment on the second part."

Samantha leaned forward and briefly brushed her lips against Ashley's. "No one will ever love you more than me." She pulled back and looked back into the camera's lenses. "Hear that America. Ashley and Spencer are in love and will be until Aiden decides to kill my little rock star." She giggled uncontrollably and placed another kiss on Ashley's cheek. "Such a bad girl fucking around with straight people." She nipped lightly at her earlobe.

Ashley grinned as her eyes closed. "I do it all of the time. Especially to you."

"I know how well you fuck around with me." She glanced back into the camera. "What everyone else wants to know is how well you fuck Spencer Carlin."

The rock star opened her eyes but didn't focus on anything. "Why do they care?" She murmured confusedly.

Samantha smiled. "Because this is some hot shit baby. How often does a girl like Spencer leave her boyfriend for someone like you. You're sexy baby, but not exactly the type to bring home to mommy and daddy. You must fuck her good." Another thought occurred to her, "How good does she fuck you?"

Ashley stiffened and felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." She looked into the camera and wondered why she allowed the conversation to be recorded. "Turn it off." She commanded while sitting up.

Green eyes narrowed and watched the auburn haired teen rub her temples. She didn't like this new Ashley. Everything they did bothered her. "Aly," She turned off the camera and set it aside while sitting up next to the 17 year old. "I don't see what's wrong. I mean we always have fun with the camera."

Ashley looked at her. "We talk shit about groupies. Spencer is not a groupie and I'm not going to talk about her like she is one." She stood up and fought hard to keep her balance. "I have to go. It's getting late." Pulling out her cell phone, Ashley noticed it was close to midnight. "I don't want to worry Spencer."

Samantha sat back and eyed her friend. She hated how Spencer controlled her Aly. It was sickening. "Yes, wouldn't want to worry miss wonderful." Her sarcasm was not lost on Ashley, but she decided to change the subject before the rock star could question her jealousy. "Do you have a cigarette? I need to do something and cocaine is obviously not an option."

Shaking her head, Ashley eyed the silver platter. "Sorry about that." She met her disappointed gaze. "I'll make it up to you somehow."

Samantha smiled coyly at the words. "I love the sound of that. Come over here and we can think of something."

Ashley laughed. "I'm leaving Sammy, I'll call you in the morning."

Samantha pouted like a child and held her arms out to the rock star. "Don't I least get a hug?"

Ashley closed the distance between them and fell into the blonde's arms. "Is this better?" She asked against her neck.

Samantha ran her hands up under Ashley's shirt and caressed her naked skin. "It'd be a lot better if you were naked and squirming under me."

Pulling back, brown eyes met green. "Can't always get what you want." She allowed her friend's warm hand to cup her cheek and pull her in for a tender kiss. Their lips stayed locked briefly and Ashley placed a final kiss on her cheek before getting up and leaving.

--------------

Wearing a white 'my chemical romance' shirt and black jeans, Ashley quickly ran her hands through her hair and popped a piece of gum into her mouth. Mint flavor to kill the taste of wine that stained her breath. She didn't want Spencer to know she had been drinking, thinking it would lead her to asking about the other parts of her promise. Answering about the drugs wouldn't be too hard; the sex on the other hand would be tricky. No she didn't have sex with Samantha but they did kiss a couple of times. She wondered if kissing was considered being unfaithful.

Opening the door to their suite, Ashley walked in and silently closed the door behind her. Her eyes scanned the dark room for her lover. To her relief, Spencer was nowhere to be seen. She pulled out her cell phone and saw it was 12:45. Still too early for her to call it a night. The couch would be a good place to kill some time, she decided while leaning back against the cushions. Her hand ran down to her jean pocket and she pulled out a new box of cigarettes. She stuck one of the skinny white sticks into her mouth and lit it up.

It felt good sitting in the dark room by herself. She relaxed and took lazy drags off her cigarette while thinking about whatever came to mind. She wanted to sober up more before facing her lover. The odds of Spencer being sound asleep when she joined her were high, but Ashley didn't want to take any chances. A confrontation about her night was the last thing she wanted to deal with at the moment.

There was a light rap at the door and Ashley fought back a groan. Her peace and quiet time was over and life was back to being chaotic and complicated. Standing, the rock star walked to the door and opened it. She was surprised to see her cousin standing there with a sad expression on his face. There was a bit of stubble on his chin and the clothes he wore shocked her. They were way out of character. He normally dressed nice, wearing expensive shirts with nice jeans. Today he was sporting a Nike shirt and sweat pants. Black converse shoes covered his feet. "Can I come in?" He asked quietly.

Ashley wanted to say 'no' but couldn't. Her cousin looked like shit and she wanted to know what was wrong. She opened the door wider and allowed her cousin easy access into her suite. She closed the door and leaned against, eyeing A.J. curiously.

A.J's expression stayed sad as he gazed into brown eyes the mirrored his own. "It's Dad, he's really sick. I'm worried, Ash. W-what if he dies?" He did everything to keep from crying but he knew it was only a matter of time before tears fell.

Ashley kept smoking, her demeanor expressed how she felt about the situation. She could careless. "You came here to waste my time with this shit?" At his shocked expression she smiled. "We're related Ashton, but that doesn't mean I care about your feelings. I hate you just as much as I hate him. If you came here to cry on my shoulder than you wasted your time." She walked away from the door and went back to the couch.

A.J. stared incredulously at her. He knew Ashley didn't have the best relationship with Pops but that was still her father. She had to care a little if he lived or died. And then it hit him. She must not know how severe the situation is. "It's bad, he's on so many different medications for his heart. He may need surgery -- Ashley we could lose him -- how could you not care?" There was a trace of anger in his voice, Ashley ignored it.

"It's easy not caring about the son of a bitch." She took a longer drag off her cigarette and wished she had coke. It would make dealing with everything so much easier. She looked into his eyes and didn't miss the disappointment pooling in his dark brown orbs. She felt angry, what was he expecting from her? Sympathy? Stupid words like 'everything will be alright?' She had to laugh at that. "Ashton, sorry to say but the truth is I could careless if he lived or died. Go find some cocaine, you'll feel better." She grinned. "I promise."

He shook his head in disgust, "That would be the difference between you and I. I can deal without drugs." He clenched his fists angrily. "Fuck Ashley, cocaine is the reason why Pops is sick. I'm never touching that shit again. Good thing I don't do more than a line every couple of weeks." He smiled. "You on the other hand….I would be worried if I were you."

Ashley continued smoking. "If the cocaine doesn't kill me the cancer will." Her eyes flickered away from her relative's face. "I'm not scared of death, but thank you for the concern."

A.J. snorted. "I'm going to be honest here Ash. I came in here willing to comfort you through this news, despite our fucked up relationship. We're family whether you like it or not Ashley and I'm so fucking tired of us not getting along." He shook his head. "But now I see you and Pops have the sickness. Your hearts are too damaged to function right. At least Pops has medicine to help him out. I wish I could say the same for you. But I can't because you're never going to grow up and quit being a selfish little bitch."

Ashley watched him turn and walk out the door. She leaned forward and angrily put out her cigarette. She hated A.J. more than ever and couldn't wait for the tour to end. Getting away from her 'family' was number one on her list of things to do for the holidays. "Fuck them," she stood up and walked to the back room. The door was slightly open and she prayed Spencer didn't hear a word of her conversation with A.J.

Undressing was her main priority when she entered the room. Her clothes smelled like smoke. She hated the smell and mentally noted to throw away the tainted outfit. Naked, she quietly walked into the bathroom and went straight to the shower.

--------------

Spencer stared into the darkness listening to the shower. She heard everything A.J. had to say to Ashley and vice versa. The pain in A.J.'s voice was evident, and unfortunately, the carelessness in Ashley's was also easy to detect. Spencer hated that Ashley didn't care her father was sick. She wasn't stupid, Pops and Ashley obviously didn't get along but that was still her father.

Rolling over on her back, Spencer looked at the bathroom door and sighed. Ashley was far too cold to A.J. He sounded so sad – why would she suggest cocaine so easily? That made her upset. There was no teasing or playfulness in her voice. It sounded like she seriously wanted A.J. to snort the deadly drug.

Spencer hated the side of Ashley she had just witnessed. Did it make her love her any less? No, but she would discuss these feelings with her lover. She wanted to understand Ashley's bitterness towards her father and cousin. She didn't want to pry it out of the rock star but there was no other option, unless Ashley wanted to talk about it on her own, which she highly doubted.

Her thoughts completely stopped when the bathroom door opened. Ashley stood staring at her from the doorway. The rock star's facial expression was one of expecting. What was she expecting? Spencer wondered while staring into her lover's eyes. They stared for a couple of minutes and then Ashley shivered and decided to put some clothes on. Spencer watched her silently walk over to her suitcase and open it.

The tension in the room was horrible. Ashley just wanted to walk out and find Sammy, snort cocaine, and be happy. But that wasn't going to happen.

Staring down at her wardrobe, she picked out the first things she came across. A red T shirt and boxer shorts. Her eyes didn't fail to notice Spencer's naked form, but she was cold and couldn't fathom sleeping naked. Plus, she felt it would be awkward sleeping naked with Spencer. Things were just too tense. She also had a feeling the blonde wouldn't want her in the same room when she found out about Sammy and their brief kisses.

Avoiding the gray eyes on her, Ashley crawled into bed and covered her tired body with the large comforter. The mattress was heaven, but Ashley still had trouble falling asleep. She lied on her side, her back facing Spencer, and wasn't comfortable at all. It was her guilt that kept her from sleeping. The more she thought about her visit with Sammy the more guilt she felt.

Her body froze when she heard the bed shift. She wondered where Spencer was going but didn't bother lifting her head up to see. Her eyes were content on the wall.

Minutes later Spencer got back on the bed and moved over to her lover. She knew Ashley wasn't asleep. Her body was noticeably rigid and there was something obviously wrong with her. "I have something for you." She sat on her knees next to her lover's prone body. Ashley rolled over on her back and Spencer smiled down at her. The look on Ashley's face when she saw the toy in her hand was worth more than a million dollars. Her dull brown eyes instantly lit up and a dazzling smile spread over her lips. "30 tickets for this bad boy."

Ashley sat up and accepted the slinky being offered to her. She laughed while playing with it, "Wow, their as cool as I thought they'd be." She looked over at Spencer and blushed at the amused look on her face. "Thanks, I've always wanted one of these."

Spencer leaned over and placed a light kiss on her lips. "I'm glad you like it." She sat back on her knees and stared into her lover's eyes. The happiness on Ashley's face soon turned to nervousness. Spencer knew she was hiding something. She just didn't know what and feared the worst. "How was your night?"

Ashley turned away from her girlfriend and leaned forward. Placing the slinky on the night stand, she brought her knees up to her chest and hugged her legs. "It was okay. I had fun with Sammy." She kept her eyes on the red comforter as she spoke. "We had a little to drink and there were drugs but I didn't take anything."

Ashley saying no to drugs was major. Spencer was proud that she didn't give into temptation. "That's great Ashley." She chuckled at the confused look her lover gave her. "I'm proud that you didn't touch the drugs. I know it probably wasn't easy for you," She leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek. "I promise things will get easier." She assumed the reason for Ashley's uneasiness was her addiction. Maybe she was craving cocaine after seeing it at Samantha's house.

The amount of pride and joy on Spencer's face did nothing to ease her guilt. "Spencer I fucked up." She looked away from loving gray eyes and collapsed back against the bed, using her arm to cover her eyes. "I broke two parts of the promise. I drank wine and gave into Sammy's kisses."

"And how many kisses were there?"

Ashley removed her arm and looked at her. "Two, a hello and goodbye kiss."

Spencer pursed her lips in thought. "I'm okay with that. As long as they weren't make out sessions."

"They weren't," The rock star reassured, sitting up on her knees in front of Spencer. She eyed the blonde's naked body and grinned when she met her gray eyes. "Were you expecting some lovin?" She teased. "Or did you and Aiden just get finished?"

Spencer grabbed a pillow and threw it playfully at Ashley. The rock star apologized and promised to behave. Spencer moved forward and pushed her on her back, covering her lean tanned body, she dipped her head and started kissing her soft pink lips, moaning when Ashley's mouth opened, allowing their tongues to explore. She began teasing her lover's tongue ring as their breasts stroked one another, causing great sensations in both of them. "How do you feel about church?" She asked while pulling away from Ashley's lips.

"Huh," was the first thing that came out of Ashley's mouth. "Did you ask me about church?" She wondered while playing with her lover's blonde hair. At Spencer's yeah, she laughed and shook her head. "Why is god on your mind while we're making out?"

Spencer leaned forward. "My mother called earlier and told me to go to church." She answered directly into Ashley's ear, nibbling gently at her earlobe. "Go with me?"

"Sure," She husked feeling bold fingertips stroke the skin above her waistband. "When do we leave?"

Pausing, Spencer pulled back and looked into her girlfriend's eyes. "Are you serious? Or is this the wine talking?"

Ashley grinned and urged the blonde down for another kiss. "I'm completely sure I want to go to church with you."

Spencer dipped her head and showered soft lips with a series of kisses. Her hand slipped into the waistband of Ashley's boxer shorts and began caressing wet naked flesh. "Expectin some loving?" She asked between kisses.

Ashley hummed her answer while sticking her thumbs into her shorts. With Spencer's help, she managed to remove her shorts, shirt and bra.

Spencer leaned over her naked body and eyed it appreciatively, Ashley didn't waste anytime urging her back down, enjoying the weight of her body against her. "I-I want to go slow." Guiding the hand resting on her center up, she smiled at Spencer's confused look and released her hand.

"Slow?" Spencer questioned, whisking away strands of auburn hair covering her lover's face.

"Slow." Ashley repeated running her index finger along her spine. "I know it's going to be hard since I'm SOOOOOO irresistible." She grinned at the look her girlfriend gave her.

"You're so full of yourself Ashley Davies," Spencer felt the hold on her back tighten as she cupped her lover's face, her thumb caressing a smooth cheek. Spencer was amazed at how smooth the skin on Ashley's face was. "Did you ever suffer from acne?" She wondered aloud.

Ashley was a bit taken aback by the subject change. "I had it pretty bad when I was 13 and dealt with it then." She kissed the thumb lightly tracing her lips. "I was prescribed medication and I wash my face daily."

"You're skin is so soft," Spencer murmured replacing her wandering digits with her lips. Ashley closed her eyes as Spencer's lips peppered her with tiny kisses around her eyes, down her cheeks and at the corner of her lips. "Is this slow enough for you?" she whispered before their lips met gently. The kiss was sweet and unrushed, Spencer took her time, enjoying Ashley's tongue ring as they moved together. She felt Ashley's hands caress her back, her touch warm, tender, but firm, she broke the kiss and nuzzled deeply into short auburn hair. "I'll love you forever, Ashley." She whispered into her skin.

Ashley understood the muffled words and smiled sadly. "I wish I could be better for you, Spencer." The words were spoken too softly to be heard. Ashley felt Spencer pull back and stared into her dark gray eyes. "I love you too."

Full lips kissed along her smooth jaw, up to her ear, and whispered softly to her. "You've been irresistible since day 1." She brushed along the curve of Ashley's breast. "But it's different now," she mused, brushing her thumb across a taunt nipple. "You're body isn't enough for me."

Ashley's breathing was starting to uneven. The blonde's teasing hands and warm breath over her skin was taken its toll on her. "What more do you want?" She breathed, moving her head to the side, she felt the blonde's lips and teeth on her throat, nibbling and kissing down to her chest.

"You've already given it to me." Spencer kissed the skin above her heart, lingering there, she enjoyed the feeling of Ashley's heart pounding against her lips.

Feeling a warm mouth close over her sensitive bud, Ashley closed her eyes and was unable to contain the little noises of pleasure emanating from her. Everything the blonde did felt good.

Spencer could feel her body respond to Ashley's moans and gasps. They were driving her crazy but she ignored her own need and focused on Ashley. She wanted to make her feel loved, safe, and pleasured. She knew the rock star's day had been hectic and wanted to make her forget about her problems and feel good, even if the feeling was only temporary,

Releasing the hardened bud, Spencer moved up and stared hungrily into dazed brown eyes. "Ready for me rock star?" she husked as her hand teased the sensitive skin on her inner thigh. Ashley inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. Spencer dipped her head and they kissed urgently. Ashley ran her fingertips all over Spencer's arms, shoulders, hips and thighs as the blonde further deepened the kiss. Ashley felt the fingers on her inner thigh move closer to her need and broke the kiss. "Fuck Spencer," she breathed reaching down to take her lover's wrist. "Just fuck me already." She pleaded.

Spencer watched the rock star's face in awe as she guided her hand between her legs, her lover sucking in a shaky breath as her fingers slid into her wetness. "oh god Spencer."

The blonde leaned forward and slid her arm under Ashley's shoulders, drawing her closer as she entered her gently. Ashley took shaky harsh breaths as the fingers inside her began to move in a slow motion. Her fingers dug painfully into Spencer's wrist every time the blonde accidentally brushed against her clit. Panting, she opened her eyes and stared into loving gray eyes. "Kiss me, please." She breathed softly, needing to feel the blonde's lips on her own.

Spencer didn't hesitate dipping her head and kissing Ashley deeply. Their tongues danced as Ashley's hips rose to meet her every thrust. They moved together smoothly and slowly, enjoying every inch of each other.

Spreading her legs wider, Ashley urgently tried to increase the depth of penetration, her body craving a deeper touch. Spencer got the message and moved deeper and faster into Ashley, loving the feel of her slippery flesh against her fingers, she smiled when Ashley broke their kiss and roughly held her tighter. "Oh fuck," She moaned. "You feel so damn good."

Spencer sucked her earlobe. "So do you baby." She purred in her ear, rubbing her clit softly.

Ashley turned her head and their mouths joined again, Spencer sucking erotically on Ashley's tongue. Moaning, Ashley's hand moved down and she clawed down Spencer's back, forcing Spencer to thrust harder.

Spencer could feel the muscles begin tighten around her fingers and it wasn't long before she felt Ashley's body go completely rigid. She randomly placed kisses on her face and neck while using her thumb to gently stroke her lover's ultra sensitive clit. The hand on her forearm tightened its grip as Ashley cried out, a great explosion of sensation washing through her body, drowning her every nerve.

The rock star slowly began to relax and eventually released the blonde's arm. Her eyes stayed glued to the gray staring into hers. Spencer stroked her damp auburn locks as she recovered from her orgasm. The emotion she was feeling was too great for words. Ashley lazily wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck, urging her down for another kiss. "I love you so much Spencer." She kissed her again, longer and firmer this time, "You take all my pain away." She added before kissing her again.

Spencer broke the kiss and stared questionably down at Ashley. She sounded sad, but grateful, it made her wonder. "What's hurting you, Ashley?" She inquired softly.

The curiosity that spread over the blonde's features was not lost on the rock star. She groaned and closed her eyes. "Please don't do this now, Spencer." She begged, regretting the last thing she said. "Forget I said anything."

"Is it Pops sickness? I know that must be hard on you-" She stopped talking once she saw brown eyes open and stare almost murderously into her eyes.

"We're not talking about this shit." She stated dryly, pulling the blonde down for another kiss and clenching her jaw in frustration when she resisted. "Fuck Spencer what does Pops have to do with anything?"

Spencer didn't understand Ashley's anger, but didn't fear it either. She knew it was a touchy subject and Ashley was still new at expressing her feelings. She was understanding and didn't give into her own frustration. "Your father is sick Ashley, that has to hurt a little." Gray eyes widened when the rock star laughed bitterly.

"It doesn't hurt at all knowing the bastard's sick." Ashley ignored the shocked expression on Spencer's face and continued. "He could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a fuck. Can we forget about this now?" she asked impatiently.

Spencer gawked openly at the rock star. She was having a hard time not believing Ashley. It worried her. How could someone be so cold towards their father? "You can't mean that Ashley," Her voice was full of hopefulness, begging the rock star to relieve her mind and admit that she cared about Pops and didn't want him to die. Ashley disappointed her.

"I mean it Spencer." She spoke directly into the blonde's eyes, not missing the disappointment on her face. It added onto her frustration. She hated that Spencer saw her as a heartless bitch. It made her angry. "You don't know shit about anything." She spat before urging the blonde off her and getting out of bed.

Spencer watched Ashley leave the room and sighed. "Dammit Ashley," before collapsing against the pillows.

--------------

The knocking on the door woke the blonde. Groggily, Samantha rolled out of bed and headed to the door. "Fuck," She murmured grasping the door handle. "What's your fucking-"She stopped talking when her gaze landed on a frowning Ashley. "What's up?" She asked curiously.

Ashley sighed and pushed passed her, entering the room. "Nothing is up." She lied, crossing her arms over her chest. "I just needed some space." She added nonchalantly.

Samantha paused and then closed the door. "Space from Ms. Perfect?" She faced the rock star and met her gaze. Ashley looked tired and obviously needed a drink.

Ashley shrugged. "I guess." She looked around and stopped to stare at the couch. "Can I crash on your couch?"

Samantha smiled. "I'd rather you sleep with me in bed, but I highly doubt you'd agree to that."

Ashley didn't agree with Sammy. Instead she chewed on her bottom lip and smiled. "Actually I would love to sleep with you tonight." She laughed at her friend's shocked look. "I need a friend." She shrugged. "And maybe a bit of TLC."

Samantha grinned. "I can do TLC." She walked over and took the rock star's hand, leading them to the bedroom.

--------------

Green eyes opened upon hearing shuffling around the room. Samantha groggily sat up and watched Ashley look around for her pants. "Are you aware that it's," she looked at her alarm clock and then met brown eyes again. "4:45 AM."

Ashley walked over to the bed and crawled on her hands and knees to the blonde. "I have to go, Sammy." She placed a light kiss on her lips. "Thanks for the TLC."

Samantha chuckled and lied back in bed. "Oh Aly, it would have been more enjoyable if we had sex." She closed her eyes and thought back to their hand holding. Their TLC session was lame. "Maybe next time you sleep with me I can convince you to be a bit more…..social."

Ashley shook her head and got off the bed again. "That makes one of us." She grabbed her jeans and slipped them on, aware of the green eyes watching her. "I'm Spencer's, hopefully for life." She pulled up her zipper and buttoned her pants.

Samantha fought back an eye roll. "Honey she's obviously not that great if you need space from her." She thought a moment. "You never told me what that was about."

Ashley grabbed her socks and plopped down on the edge of the bed. "Pops is sick and it bothers her that I don't give a fuck."

Samantha chuckled. "Poor little farm girl probably thinks all families are loving and caring. Heaven forbid if a daughter despises her father. Why does she give a fuck about your feelings towards Pops? It's none of her fucking business."

Ashley paused before looking at her friend. "I have to go. I'll call you sometime today." The rock star stood up and slipped on her shoes, not saying anything more to Samantha, she opened the door and left the room.

--------------

The light turned green and the hand on the door knob turned, opening the door. Ashley slipped into the suite quietly, not wanting to wake her lover. She didn't know what she was going to say to Spencer. All she knew was she missed the blonde immensely and wanted to be in her bed, not Samantha's.

Ashley saw her the second she walked into the room. It was hard to miss the naked blonde sleeping. She slept on her stomach, head facing away from Ashley. Her arms encircled the pillow she slept on and her hair covered half of her face. The rock star relaxed slightly and approached the bed.

The mattress made no sound as she crawled over to her lover. The comforter stopped at the small of her back, exposing all of her upper back. Ashley was in awe as she stared at the expanse of smooth skin. The urge to touch her lover was overwhelming, she gave into it by running her index finger up her spine, loving the feel of her warm skin against her fingertip. She continued running her finger along her spine for quite some time, the blonde never stirred so Ashley decided to broaden her horizons.

Moving down the bed, Ashley hovered over the blonde's body and began sensually kissing up her spine. Her brown eyes closed as her nose began to lightly nuzzle her flawless skin. Ashley was in heaven and only stopped when she reached her lover's neck.

Leaning forward, her lips grazed her ear as she spoke softly. "I love you," Out of the corner of her eye she saw a slight smile cross her lover's lips. "I'm sorry for being such an ass." She added when she realized Spencer was awake.

Gray eyes opened and stared at the balled fist in front of her. Ashley's knuckles were white with strain, she moved her hand down and covered it. "Relax baby." She murmured before rolling over on her back. Staring into her lover's brown eyes, she noticed how tense and nervous she was. "Lie down, I want to hold you."

Ashley hesitated but eventually eased herself literally on top of her lover. Nestling her cheek against the warm skin on Spencer's upper chest, Ashley sighed her contentment and wrapped her arms around Spencer like the blonde had done to the pillow. "Are you mad at me?" Her voice was as small as a child's, Spencer responded by running her fingers through her auburn hair, swaying Ashley's eyes closed.

"I've been more worried than mad." She ran her free hand up a tanned back and began messaging the skin between her shoulder blades. "Where have you been?"

Ashley yawned as she started to answer. "I slept with Sammy." She yawned again. "All we did was sleep. I promise."

Spencer bent down and kissed the top of her head. "Go to sleep Ashley. You sound tired."

Ashley nuzzled against her warm smooth skin, relishing their closeness. "I love you Spencer." She mumbled on the verge of unconsciousness.

Spencer also closed her eyes. "Love you too."

--------------

Rachael stood staring at the bed. After entering the suite, she had noticed the bedroom door wide open. Pops had sent her to wake Ashley and Spencer. Their cell phones were off and she got a busy signal every time she called their room. She didn't mind, It was easy for her to get a spare key. Ashley preferred her to enter the suite and then wake her, rather than knocking. The assistant wasn't sure if Ashley still wanted that. Staring at the two cuddling girls in bed, she didn't know who, or how, to wake them.

"Ms. Davie-" Gray eyes opened before she could say anything else. She didn't stammer or hesitate speaking to Spencer. She was used to the idea of Ashley and Spencer being together. "Pops wants both of you down in 10 minutes for breakfast." She explained mechanically.

Spencer didn't feel panicked or uncomfortable. Having Rachael see them wrapped in one another's arms should have freaked her out, but to her surprise, it didn't. "We'll be there." She spoke softly, not wanting to startle her tired lover. "Thank you, Rachael." She flashed her a small smile.

"Anytime, Ms. Carlin."

Spencer watched Rachael leave before settling her gaze on her sleeping lover. Ashley's face was free of worry and distress as she slumbered peacefully. Lifting her hand, she stroked her lover's smooth face, urging her to wake up. "Time to get up baby." She cooed softly, not wanting to wake Ashley too nosily.

Feeling the fingers on her face, Ashley scrunched her face up in detest and groaned. "I'm not ready to be awake."

Spencer kissed the skin on her forehead. "I know baby but Rachael was just in here and we need to get up." She continued to stroke her face and only stopped when Ashley tilted her head up and opened her brown eyes. "You'll feel better after a shower and some breakfast."

"Promise?"

Spencer smiled at her. "I promise."

The two reluctantly got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. Spencer turned on the shower while Ashley undressed quietly next to her. She turned her head and watched her lover undress while waiting for the water to warm. Gray eyes noticed how distracted Ashley looked standing there staring at the floor. "What's on your mind?"

Ashley's head snapped up and she met gray eyes. "Nothing." She said quietly. It wasn't really a lie. She was feeling tired and distant, and surprisingly, the urge to sit somewhere alone was overwhelming. "I'm just tired." She added above a whisper.

Spencer looked at her carefully. She seemed so withdrawn and quiet, Spencer accepted her 'I'm tired' explanation and held out her hand, relieved when the rock star accepted it. "The shower will make you feel better." Ashley nodded hopping Spencer was right. She didn't like how she was feeling and would do anything to make the weird emotion go away.

Goosebumps erupted on tanned arms as Ashley stepped into the warm water. Sighing, her brown eyes closed as she absorbed the comfort the hands on her shoulders were providing. They lightly messaged her tense muscles; the feeling was soothing enough to lure her to sleep. "Want me to wash your hair?" She heard behind her. Ashley opened her eyes and faced the blonde. She was way too drowsy for Spencer's scalp message. Knowing how soothing the blonde's hands could be, she decided to decline.

"I'll do you first." She grabbed the shampoo bottle and squirted some of its contents onto her hand. Spencer turned around and enjoyed Ashley's gentle hands. They stayed in the shower a good fifteen minutes and then hurriedly dressed. Ashley opened the suite's front door and was glad to see a couple of rodies standing outside. "Bags in the back room." She walked past them and then stopped in the massive hallway, waiting patiently for Spencer.

It didn't take long for the blonde to join her. Ashley slipped on her sunglasses and stuck her hands in her pockets before walking toward the elevator. She felt Spencer walk closely behind, from what she heard the blonde was obviously texting someone. That reminded her to pull out her own cell phone and call Samantha.

Spencer smiled as she replied to the message she had gotten from an old family friend. One of her closest girlfriends was now engaged. The blonde was truly happy for her friend and was looking forward to the wedding.

Hearing Ashley's voice made her look up. The rock star was walking casually while talking to Sammy. Spencer felt somewhat jealous, but ignored most of her irrational feelings. So what if Ashley had a strong friendship with one of her fuck buddies? The thought did nothing to help the blonde.

She decided to keep out of Ashley's conversation and look around. She still walked directly behind the rock star and couldn't keep her gaze off her lover's butt. She thought it looked very good in the tight black jeans she was wearing. The rock star also wore a white shirt under a tight black hoodie. White Nike's covered her feet, matching the white studded belt she wore.

Quickening her strides, Spencer walked along side her lover and entered the elevator. She watched Ashley's slender finger hit the lobby button and stood casually next to her. The rock star ended her phone call and placed her phone back in her back pocket. She quickly recoiled when Spencer tried to take her hand. "There could be cameras." She explained quietly, defensively folding her arms across her chest, she looked away from the blonde and stared at the carpet.

Spencer found Ashley's behavior strange. It alarmed her but she didn't want to bother Ashley with questions. It seemed the rock star just wanted to be alone.

Ashley couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Sammy. The blonde had invited her to an upcoming party, promising cocaine amongst other things. Ashley should have been angry, but she wasn't. She understood that Samantha probably didn't take her vow to quit seriously.

The elevator doors opened and they stepped out, both gazes immediately fell on Pops and the rest of the band. They all stood around the lobby, near an open restaurant. "I don't have much of an appetite," Ashley found herself saying. "Plus I'm really tired; I think I'll go find the bus and sleep."

Spencer stopped walking and looked at her. "You should really eat Ashley," She stopped when she noticed the muscle in Ashley's jaw clench, an obvious sign of frustration. "I'll bring you something back."

Ashley's body relaxed slightly. "Sounds good. I'll see you later."

Ashley turned and stormed out the hotel building. Seeing Pops and AJ sent a wave of nausea straight to the pit of her stomach. she couldn't stand the thought of being near them. Plus, her cravings were bad, it wouldn't take much to push her off the deep end, any bit of stress was enough to get her back on her knees, snorting cocaine.

The bus wasn't hard to spot, it stuck out like a sore thumb in the parking lot. It wasn't cold, to Ashley's relief, but that didn't stop her body from shivering. Her mind had lost its bearing and all she could think of was the cocaine Samantha had offered her. She hated herself for turning it down, and then fucking it up by throwing it on the floor. Just a little wouldn't have hurt, she mentally told herself, regretting not taking some home. Her need for the white powder was strong; her hands were trembling and her mind was blank of anything else but the drug.

She arrived at the bus and opened the door. Stepping in, she went straight to the back bedroom and slammed the door. She went straight to the dresser and began opening drawers, eyes scanning for any trace of white powder. The pain in her nose had gotten worse, almost as bad as the pain in her head. She knew finding the drug would make all the pain disappear, leaving her numb again.

"Fuck!" She screamed, pulling the bottom drawer out of the dresser. Her body needed cocaine, it told her in more ways than one, Ashley was getting desperate. She knew Mike would have some, she prayed he was still around. Moving around the drawer, she froze at the bedroom door when her phone began ringing. It was Kyla's ring tone.

Ashley took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. She didn't want her little sister to hear the desperation in her voice. Pulling out her cell phone, she flipped it open and brought it to her ear. "Hey Ky." She greeted softly. "What's up?"

"I hate Mom, Ashley. She's being such a bitch."

Ashley could tell her little sister had been crying, she immediately tensed. "What did she do Ky?"

Kyla sniffled, feeling like a child. She almost felt stupid calling Ashley while crying. She knew her older sister had better things to worry about. "I don't want to waste your time…"

The older sister shook her head. "You're not wasting my time. I love you more than anything else in this world, including my fame and all the bullshit that comes with it. Please talk to me."

"I got in trouble for bringing you up at dinner last night. I asked Mom if you can stay over some time and she kept saying 'we're not talking about this now.' Ashley I miss you so much. Can you just tell Mom sorry or something? I really want to see you. And in person, not on some magazine or in a music video."

Ashley brought her hand up and began rubbing the bridge of her nose. The pain had gotten worse, Ashley continued rubbing, trying to relieve some of the throbbing, but it didn't do much good. "I can't just apologize, it's more complicated than that."

"Ashley please tell me what's going on. Mom won't say anything, you won't say anything, and I'm not even allowed to talk to you! I want to know what's wrong. If it's the gay thing than she's overeating-"

"It's not the gay thing." Ashley corrected softly. "I don't want you to know, maybe I'll tell you one day, but not now. Please try and understand Ky, I miss you too and I'm working on fixing things with Brenda. Just be patient. I'll fix things."

"Promise? You're not just saying that to make me feel better right? You're really going to fix everything?"

Ashley removed her hand from her nose and moved away from the door. "I promise Ky, I'll fix everything."

--------------

A.J. played around with the food on his plate, pushing his eggs around with the fork in his hand. His father had announced to the table that he was fine and the medicine was going to take care of everything, but AJ still worried about his old man. Brown eyes moved up and settled on his laughing father. He smiled a little too at the scene. Pops looked happy for once, he was glad Ashley was hiding away somewhere. She always made him bitter.

"You really care for him, don't you?" Spencer smiled when A.J.'s surprised face turned red. "It's okay to love your dad," She spoke quietly, not wanting to embarrass the bus driver further. "I love mine."

A.J. cleared his throat and took a drink from his orange juice. "Yeah, he's my old man." He shrugged. "I want him to be okay."

The emotion in his voice was easily detected, it made Spencer wonder. "You and Ashley are so different," She mused. "Which is funny since you guys could pass as twins."

A.J. smirked and pursed his lips a bit. "Does that mean you're in to me to?" He said playfully.

Spencer gave him a puzzled look. "Does that mean what I think that means?"

"If you're guessing I know about you and Ashley…than yes." He drank more of his orange juice. "I over heard Aiden talking, and you know, he may have said something along the lines of 'I'm happy for them. Spencer and Ashley are great for each other.' It was kind of shocking, but not really. Not too many girls have turned Ashley down."

"it's more than just sex," Spencer found herself saying. She felt like she had to defend her relationship with Ashley and convince A.J. she wasn't another one of Ashley's fuck buddies. "I love her and she feels the same."

A.J. shook his head slowly. "You should listen to what people tell you about her. She's here now, but once things get rocky, or she finds another hot blonde, she's gone." He smirked. "You may never see her again, or the next time you do see her, she'll be as high as a kite and not remember your name. It happens all the time."

"We're working on her addiction." Spencer confidently pushed, not liking the conversation. She hated how A.J. spoke so surely about Ashley, like he knew everything about her. "She's going to get better and prove everyone wrong."

A.J. chuckled. "Listen Spencer, if I were you I'd dump her and date me." He stopped Spencer from saying anything. "I'm like the guy version of her, which is better since I'm not lacking equipment, and I hardly touch drugs and I'm working on my acting career. I'm flying high while she's soaring low, we'd make a much better couple."

Spencer declined without any hesitation. A.J. was wasting his breath. "I love her, not you, I'm sorry A.J. you'll find someone that makes you happy." She flashed him an apologetic smile. "I'm just not her."

A.J. frowned, not liking rejection. "Are you kidding me? How does Ashley make you happy?! She's a fucking heartless, selfish bitch."

Spencer unconsciously played with her hair, thinking of her lover. Sure Ashley had her cons, and they probably outweighed her pros, but that didn't affect the love she felt for the rock star. Since day one she was drawn to the troubled rock star. The connection had only gotten stronger since then. "You don't know her like I do. And despite everything, she still has my heart. Something you'll never have."

Spencer stood up and walked toward a nearby waitress, she had promised Ashley breakfast.

--------------

Huddled in a corner, knees to her chest, head against the wall, eyes closed, Ashley cradled both her hands in her lap. Her breathing was heavy and hoarse, throat dry from screaming. The tears had stopped, but her eyes were still red and puffy. Her cheeks were stained with tears that had dried, leaving salty tracks on her face. "I want it so fucking bad." She cried, rubbing her bloody sweaty hands together. She winced at the pain and regretted trashing the room.

She couldn't stop herself. One minute she was hanging up her cell phone- the next she was punching holes in the wall, cutting open the skin on her hands. Things only got worse from there. She pushed down the dresser, shattered the mirror, threw the bed sheets on the floor, and finally collapsed in a corner.

Ashley moved one of her arms up and tried to wipe away the tears on her face. She only managed to smear the moisture on her arm over the skin on her cheeks.

Sweat soaked the rock star's body, it made her shiver, she was cold. "Just fucking kill me." She sobbed, a new batch of tears flowing down her smooth skin. "God I hate this." Ashley opened her eyes and stared up at the ceiling fan. Her stomach hurt and the pain in her head was unbearable. She started hearing things, but knew she was just hallucinating. They were the same unidentified noises she heard while high. "I need it." She closed her eyes and started crying louder. "Just fucking give me some, Sammy, please fucking give me some. I'll fucking sleep with you, just please give me some."

Spencer stood at the open doorway. Her gray eyes were wide from hearing Ashley's murmured words. The need in her lover's raspy voice was evident, along with the pain she was feeling. Spencer got over her shock and rushed over to Ashley. The rock star was still huddled in a corner; crying, sweaty, and pleading for the drug. Spencer collapsed on the ground next to her, not knowing what to do. Ashley was near hysteria. ''Ashley." She called out gently.

Ashley didn't respond. She just continued sobbing and shaking. "Just a little," She kept murmuring, hearing the voice in her head better than her own. It just kept screaming at her, telling her to get high, to get better and not feel any pain. To make her numb and happy again. "Ashley," The firm tone registered in her mind and she turned her head. The vision of Spencer was blurry due to the tears. "Get the fuck away!" She turned her face back to the wall and continued crying. Everything hurt and she prayed to god, begging for death. "Just go away Spencer." She demanded between sobs, feeling the blonde's hand on her shoulder.

Spencer was surprised at how bad the rock star's shoulder was shaking. She looked closer and realized her whole body was vibrating, and then her gaze fell on her hands and she noticed the blood. "Oh Ash," She breathed, seeing how bad her condition was. "Baby, calm down." She began rubbing up and down her arm soothingly, trying desperately to calm her nerves. "Look at me Ashley." She pleaded, hearing the rock star continue to beg for cocaine and death.

Ashley felt the hand on her arm and tried to shove it away, but Spencer was insisted and kept putting it back. "Dammit Spencer!" She turned her head and met caring gray eyes. "Just leave me alone, please." She hated having Spencer see her like this. All messed up and just wanting cocaine. "God, just fucking go." She pleaded, her voice cracking at the end.

Spencer shook her head. "I love you." She cupped her wet cheek and kissed her forehead. "I'm not going to leave you hurting like this."

Ashley jerked back and glared at the blonde. There was a terrible pounding in her ears, her heart was racing as her body moved shakily away from Spencer. Half from anger, half from the sobs that wracked her body. "I-I hate you, I n-never gave a fuck about you!"

Caring arms reached out and tried to hold her, Ashley resisted and put up a good fight against the blonde, the only problem was, Spencer was stronger. "Ashley, Baby, calm down." She held the taunt shaking body tighter against her, burying her face near her ear and whispering, "I love you so much, just let me hold you."

Ashley gave up and surrendered to her lover, wrapping her arms around Spencer; she buried her face into her neck and cried. "Fuck Spencer, I just want it so bad, I hurt so fucking much, just a little would help, one line is all I need, please find me some."

The rock star held desperately onto her and Spencer winced as Ashley's nail dug into her skin. "You don't need cocaine Ashley," She said softly, caressing her hair. "Taking more will hurt more than help." The words didn't seem to register in the rock star's mind, she kept begging and begging, the nails digging deeper into Spencer's skin.

The blonde just kept rocking and caressing the rock star, she didn't know how long they stayed like that; hurdled in a corner, bleeding, sweating and crying, but she never once got angry or frustrated at Ashley. The tears that slid down her own face reflected the sympathy she felt for her lover. She hated seeing Ashley hurt so bad, she wished she could take away some of her pain. "Stay strong my love, you'll feel better soon."

Ashley whimpered, meaning to snort at the words. She'll never feel better.

--------------

Glen was the last one to get on the bus. AJ immediately started the RV once he was inside. The blonde looked around for Spencer and then sighed when his gaze landed on the closed bedroom door. The rules still applied to Spencer and Ashley and it bothered him that they could be having sex on the bus. His anger and curiosity got the best of him and walked to the backroom.

He didn't bother knocking. He just took the doorknob and was surprised when it wasn't locked. For a brief second he wondered if he was wrong. Maybe Spencer and Ashley weren't having sex. But then what else would they be doing? He turned the door knob and quietly opened the door.

"Oh my God." He breathed, seeing the condition of the room. There was shattered glass on the floor, holes in the wall, and things way out of order. His eyes landed on the two forms sitting against the wall. Spencer held Ashley, almost in a protective matter, Ashley held onto her for dear life, her face nestled against her skin. He could easily make out the blood and Ashley's trembling.

One look into Spencer's gray eyes told him to go. They were tired and it obvious the blonde didn't need any bullshit from him. He moved back and closed the door, wondering what Ashley took. No person in their right mind would do that to a room. She had to be high on something.

The thought made Glen angry. He was getting tired of Ashley's behavior. The 'I'm rich and can do anything I want' attitude was pissing him off. He wished Ashley was still 13 and sweet, not 17 and an ass.

--------------

The room was quiet, except for the breathing that filled the air. Spencer's body screamed in protest at the position she was in. Supporting Ashley's body for so long was starting to hurt her own. She ignored the pain and focused on Ashley. She continued to caress her hair and place loving kisses on the top of her head. It worried her that the rock star hadn't spoken a word. Her body wasn't shaking anymore, an occasion chill made her shiver, but things were getting better. The nails that once dug into her skin eased up, overall Ashley was more relaxed. Her body was still soaked in sweat, but the bleeding stopped.

Ashley stared blankly at the shattered glass on the floor. She didn't acknowledge her feelings towards the condition of the room. She didn't want to acknowledge anything but the warm arms holding her. She felt safe and better in Spencer's embrace. Cocaine was still on her mind but it wasn't as bad as before.

Nausea swept through her, landing in her stomach. "S-spencer." She croaked, and then cleared her throat, trying to clear her voice. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Spencer acted quickly and helped the rock star to her feet. She interlaced their fingers and walked them out one door into another. Spencer closed the bathroom door and cringed at the dry heave that wracked Ashley's small frame. There was nothing to empty in Ashley's stomach. It was just dry heaving the whole time. Spencer rubbed her back and tried to ease her distress.

Ashley finished and sat back, away from the toilet and against the shower. She stared at Spencer and then down at herself. She saw the blood and sweat and fought back a cringe. She was disgusting. "I think I'll take a shower."

Her voice was so low and soft that Spencer could barely make out the words. "Are you sure you want to shower?"

Ashley frowned and shook her head, her eyes glued to her bloody hands. "I don't want to, but I have to." She mumbled, wincing as she ran her fingertips over her knuckles. "I can do it myself." She added, just wanting to be alone.

Spencer wanted to argue, knowing Ashley needed help, but then saw her brown eyes and the words died on her tongue. It was like they were begging her to leave. Spencer got the message and reluctantly stood up. "Call me if you need any help. Okay?"

Ashley nodded and she took that as her cue to leave. The living area of the bus was deserted. She heard laughing in the bunks and assumed Clay and Glen were watching TV. She ran a hand through her hair and then stretched a little. She winced at a pain in her side and curiously lifted her shirt. She noticed the nail marks and the blood on her side immediately and sighed, pulling her shirt back down. She wasn't mad at Ashley, that much she knew, but she was confused at what to do while Ashley was in the shower.

Her gray eyes landed on the bedroom door. She decided to start there. Spencer patiently fixed the bed with new sheets she found in the closet. She also picked up a little around the room, throwing away what she can. While in the kitchen, she heard the shower stop and grabbed the clothes she had laid out for the rock star. They were things out of her suitcase. A pair of cotton shorts and a long t shirt.

She opened the bathroom door and placed them on the sink. Her eyes landed on her lover and she watched Ashley dry herself off with a towel, avoiding her gaze.

She once again left the bathroom and decided Ashley should eat something. She had placed her breakfast in the fridge but wasn't going to give her that to eat. Eggs and bacon would probably make her sick. Instead, she grabbed two pieces of bread and placed them in the toaster.

Ashley walked out of the bathroom just as the toast was popping out of the toaster. Spencer walked over to her and smiled at her clean appearance. She looked comfortable in her clothes. "I made you some toast."

Ashley immediately shook her head no. "I can't eat anything Spencer." She rubbed her churning stomach. "It'll just come back up, please don't make me eat."

Spencer sighed. "I'm sorry Baby, but you need to eat something. Just have a little okay?" She gently took Ashley's hand, and then dropped it when Ashley whimpered. "I'm sorry," She said quickly not knowing how bad the pain in her hand was.

Ashley fought back tears as she cradled her hand. "It's okay." She blew out. "It just hurts a lot."

Spencer stared at her hands. They weren't bleeding but the cuts were noticeable. Her knuckles were also a bit darker, she knew it wasn't long before bruises covered the skin there. "I'll look at your hands after you eat. Is that okay?"

Ashley nodded and took a seat at the booth, dreading having to eat anything. The pain in her stomach was almost as bad as the pain in her hands. The toast was placed in front of her and Ashley began eating it. She took small bites while watching her lover move in and out of their room. It was obvious the blonde was trying to clean up the mess. Her mess. Ashley felt bad and wished Spencer would just stop, but she wouldn't. Ashley begged her twice to stop and the blonde completely ignored her.

"You don't have to do that Spencer." She told the blonde emptying a dustpan full of glass. "I can clean it up."

Spencer set the broom and dustpan aside. "Ashley I don't mind, really." She walked over to the booth and kissed her cheek. "I just want you to get better." She looked down at the plate and saw Ashley had eaten half a piece of toast. "Are you finished?" Ashley nodded. "Can I look at your hands now?"

Ashley stood up from the booth. "sure."

--------------

Ashley sat at the edge of the, scanning the room with a frown. She hated herself for destroying the room, for having no self control. She looked at her hands. The cuts weren't bad, but her knuckles felt and looked horrible. She heard Spencer walk in and looked up. The blonde was holding a small first aid kit. "Is that necessary?"

Spencer kneeled down in front of her and shrugged. "You never know." She placed the first aid kit on the floor and took one of Ashley's hands. She began examining it, feeling for anything broken or unusual. Examining her hand reminded her of all the times she stood by and watched her mother do it. She would cringe and leave the room whenever someone cried out. Almost everyone in their town went to her house to see her mother before going to the hospital. It was a small town and Paula was very social. Everyone loved her and didn't mind paying her for checking them out at her house.

A slight whimper snapped Spencer out of her musing. She looked up and noticed Ashley's discomfort. Her eyes were shut tight, tears leaking out of them, and her bottom lip was trapped between two rows of white teeth. "Oh Ash." She immediately let go of her hand. "Why didn't tell me I was hurting you?"

Ashley opened her eyes. "I-it's fine Spencer. Is anything broken?"

Spencer shook her head. "Everything looks okay. Your knuckles are just bruised, Baby." She took her other hand. "I'm going to check this hand, alright?"

Ashley sighed, bracing herself for the pain. "Go for it."

Spencer examined her other hand thoroughly, trying her best to tune out Ashley's little whimpers. She knew she was hurting the rock star, and it bothered her, but she had to make sure nothing was broken. "Everything feels alright," She said softly, turning her hand over. The first thing she noticed was the cuts on her arm. They looked fresh and violent. She traced a few of them, the night replaying in her mind. She looked up and noticed Ashley also staring at them, her eyes full of shame. "It's okay, Baby." She whispered, dipping her head and placing light kiss over them. "They'll go away." She met her eyes again. "Do you feel better?" She asked, whisking away damp auburn hair from her eyes.

Ashley shrugged. "Not really. I'm really tired."

"Okay." Spencer stood and walked over to the bed, pulling back the covers, she urged Ashley under them and tucked her in. "Try to get some sleep, Ash." She kissed her forehead and cheek, "I love you."

Ashley hesitated before asking, "Can you stay with me?" She feared Spencer was going to leave the room and she didn't want to be alone. She felt selfish for asking the blonde to stay, especially after putting her through so much shit, but she couldn't stop the words from leaving her lips. "Just for a little bit."

Spencer easily agreed and walked over to the other side of the bed. She slid on top of the covers and lied on her side, facing Ashley. She began lightly stroking her face and hair when Ashley turned her head toward her. "How do you feel?" She asked softly.

Ashley closed her eyes. "Everything hurts so fucking much. From head to toe, I'm in so much fucking pain and I can't stop sweating. I hate this Spencer."

"It'll be alright, Baby." She kept stroking and caressing her smooth tanned face, luring her into a deep sleep. Placing a soft kiss on her cheek, Spencer moved off the bed and walked out the door, softly closing it behind her.

"Everything alright?"

Spencer turned around and met Glen's gaze. He stood in front of the fridge, eating out of a Styrofoam box. "Fine. Is Ashley's breakfast good?" She walked over and collapsed in the booth, smiling at the blonde.

Glen stopped eating, "Sorry. Should I put it back?"

Spencer shook her head. "It'll rot in there. Ashley's not going to eat it." She thought back to the room and sighed. "How do we fix the room?"

Glen stared down at his food. "We give Ashley a tool belt and tell her to fix it." He looked up. "She did it right?"

His tone did not sit well with Spencer. He was being sarcastic and she wasn't in the mood for it. "Don't be like that, Glen." She rubbed her face with her hands. "I don't need a smart ass right now."

Glen thought back to seeing Spencer and Ashley in the room. He wondered why Ashley trashed it, why Spencer didn't give a fuck, and finally why she put up with it. "You don't need her shit Spencer. Why are you putting up with it? You're not Rachael or Pops, tell her to fuck off and give you some peace." He remembered Ashley telling him she hit her. "You're right, you don't need a smartass because your hands are full with Ashley."

Spencer shook her head, smiling bitterly. She didn't want to respond to Glen, knowing the words would be mean and unprofessional. They sat there silent for many minutes. He finally threw away his food and went back to his bunk, Spencer just sat there, staring out the window. He wondered why she put up with Ashley, she wondered why he gave up on her.

--------------

-


	4. The feeling was incredible

Samantha Richmond lied on a 7,000 dollar couch. Smoking her cigarette leisurely, she watched the other people in the room with little interest. They were passing cocaine around like candy, enjoying it like something sweet. There were 5 in all, 3 boys and 2 girls sitting around the room. Samantha didn't know the girls, but the boys were long time friends of hers, all very rich and amazing in bed. She loved sleeping with men, but sometimes craved a women's touch. She eyed the girls, but didn't feel anything despite their revealing outfits. She looked at Richard, one of the 3 men, and shook her head in disappointment. "Neither of them will do." She took another drag off her cigarette. "Tell them to leave, I can't stand whores." She smirked smugly at the two girls. One of them immediately stood up and walked out of the room, the other sat speechless on the couch, staring at the arrogant blonde. "I'm sorry darling, rejection is a bitch but I can't fuck something disgusting."

"She's really good." Another man, Landon, quipped in. Samantha looked at him, but that didn't stop him from speaking. "Give her a chance, she's the best."

Samantha eyed the girl again. She had an exotic, somewhat Hawaiian, look but Samantha couldn't get past the tube top and slut skirt. She was beautiful, but also a whore, it almost made her gag. "I'll pass, maybe the garbage man can do something with her… she is trash." She sat up and leaned forward, taking a glass of wine, she sat back against the expensive cushions and began drinking the red liquid.

Richard stood up and escorted the whore out of the house. Samantha laughed as he lowered his hand from the small of her back to her ass. Of course the girl allowed it to stay there. "Where did you find that slut?" She looked at Landon with a raised eyebrow, not angry, just curious.

Landon leaned back in his seat, enjoying the drugs in his system. "Just a whore I came across." He shrugged.

Samantha sighed. "I don't like poor bitches. Make sure she's the last person you ever bring me, okay?" He didn't have time to answer, Samantha's attention was elsewhere, on Richard and his friend. "Who is this?" She asked eyeing the woman at his side. She was hot, Hispanic and well dressed. Samantha was very interested in her, wanting more and more to take her to bed and fuck her. "Hello." She greeted kindly, gesturing for Landon to stand up. Landon immediately obeyed and offered his seat to Madison. It was the closest to Samantha.

The rich arrogant blonde looked at the boys. "We'll like our privacy." She said after getting a glimpse of Madison's notebook, the words 'Ashley Davies' captured her attention. "And take your shit, Richard."

The tall brown haired blue eyed man leaned over and grabbed his cocaine, winking at her, he followed the other two men out the room. Green eyes regarded the well dressed woman still standing. She wasn't nervous, Samantha observed, just in awe at her beautiful home. "One hundred thousand dollar painting." She said following Madison's gaze to one of the many paintings on the walls.

Startled, Madison looked at her. "I'm sorry, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Madison Duarte," She offered the blonde her hand, Samantha took it easily. "Samantha Richmond." She replied, gently pulling the reporter to her. "Please have a seat." She purred, patting the space next to her.

Madison took the seat, feeling uncomfortable, the look in Samantha's eyes intimidated her. She could tell the blonde wanted something. "I started writing an article on Ashley Davies not too long ago. Pops wrote me a list of people to interview. You're on the top of it."

Samantha smiled softly, "I know everything about Ashley Davies." She shifted a bit on the couch, eyeing the reporter hungrily. "I can tell you exactly what you want to hear, I just have to know one thing. What's in it for me?"

Madison didn't hesitate answering, "Money, I can give-" She stopped when the blonde started laughing.

"I don't want your money, Madison." She waved her hand, motioning to everything around the room. "I'm good financially, but I could use a hand or two in other areas…"

Feeling a hand on her upper thigh, Madison abruptly stood up and stared disgustingly down at the blonde, feeling more than angry. Was the blonde suggesting she sleep with her? The reporter couldn't believe how cocky she looked staring up at her. She felt insulted and somewhat violated. "I'm sorry for wasting your time Ms. Richmond but I have to go now." Before I kill you.

Samantha still kept her cocky smile as she watched Madison walk away. She finally opened her mouth when the reporter reached the doorway. "Madison I have some news for you." Excitement welled up inside her when the brunette faced her. "About Ashley of course." She took another drag off her shortening cigarette, eyeing Madison again. Her breasts were perfect, hiding beneath a white blouse, nearly see through, her bra clearly visible; it heightened the blonde's arousal. She was close to desperate now, she'd do anything to get Madison in her bed, naked and squirming under her… "Before we get to Ashley, let's turn to Spencer and say… her boyfriend. How do you feel about them?"

Madison folded her arms across her chest, seeing green eyes openly stare at her breasts, and answered, "I met them and their both gorgeous, very kind and loveable. It's no wonder why America loves them so much."

Samantha met her gaze, chuckling. "Yes, they're very good actors." She stood up when Madison's expression changed from curious to disbelief. "They seem happy in all the pictures, smiling and hugging and shit, but I know for a fact they don't fuck." The video camera was on the coffee table, Samantha stared at it, knowing what evidence lied inside. She thought back to Ashley and the new addition to her life. Spencer Carlin. The blonde was no good for her Aly, they were far too different, and Ashley was being confined to a box, not allowed to touch drugs or have sex, it pissed Samantha off. Spencer was controlling Ashley and she followed her orders like a puppy dog.

The arrogant blonde didn't approve of Spencer and she wanted her gone. She was changing Ashley from a rock star to a bitch. The DVD inside the little recorder held the evidence she needed to get rid of Spencer. The world would hate her once they found out the truth. How she and Aiden were no longer together, how Ashley stole Spencer from Aiden, and how she constantly sleeps with the rock star. Ashley would probably panic, runaway, find her, ask questions, demand answers, and be devastated enough to snort cocaine. She would have her Aly back while Spencer went home and became a good little farm girl again, leaving her happy, that's all that mattered. Her happiness, because Samantha Richmond always got what she wanted. And she wanted Spencer out of Ashley's life. "Madison my dear, I have here the evidence that will earn you a promotion. The story of the year. I've grown so sick of Spaiden, the world is obsessed, their all over the teen magazines and I think it's time for a change, something new, something controversial. That's what you reporters look for in a story, right? Controversy, It's what pays the bills since boring stories don't sell as much as dishonorable ones." She opened the recorder and grabbed the small disc. "I have a little something here….would you like to see it?"

Madison stared at the small disc, she was curious, but also highly uncomfortable. She wanted so bad to turn and leave, forget the blonde and go on with her life. But her words were spoken so convincingly that she couldn't stop her head from bobbing up and down, satisfying the blonde. Madison felt sick when Samantha told her to take a seat. She wished the blonde had single chairs and not sofas and love seats. Sitting next to the rich blonde was the last thing she wanted to do.

Samantha walked out of the room while Madison got comfortable on the loveseat. She picked nervously at her skirt, not liking where things were going. The blonde's intentions were clear, she wanted to sleep with her, but Madison didn't feel the same way about Samantha. Sure the blonde was gorgeous, but Madison didn't feel anything toward her. She seemed cocky and arrogant, qualities she hated in men.

Carrying a laptop, Samantha walked back into the room and placed the pricy equipment on the coffee table. "Now the fun begins." She sat next to Madison and leaned forward, pressing the play button, the video started immediately, she leaned back and enjoyed the show.

"Aly, do you really need a bottle?" She giggled, as the rock star staggered over to the couch from the bar, fumbling with the wine cap. "Darling I could pour you a glass, there's an open bottle right here."

Ashley shook her head and collapsed on the couch, her head resting on Samantha's thigh. "This will do." She brought the bottle to her lips and took a drink. Her eyes stared up into the camera's lenses, she was used to the attention, it didn't bother her. It was just another camera in her face. "Sammy…" She took another drink, "I wish I could fuck you."

Samantha kept recording but diverted her eyes from the camera to her friend. She ran her fingers through her hair, gently pulling at the short auburn locks. Ashley kept staring at her, lost in the desire pooling in her green eyes, it was too much, she looked away and took another drink. "Then fuck me Aly, no ones watching." Her hand ran down her neck, her fingers teasing the skin there.

Ashley abruptly sat up when those fingers ran over her breast. "I can't," She said moving to the other end of the couch. "Spencer…"

Samantha eyes flickered over to Madison. She had a look of surprise on her face. The blonde smiled as Ashley's voice filled the room, confessing the true nature of Spashley to the reporter. She moved closer to Madison, her eyes solely on the reporter. "I think you realize what I have here." She lightly touched her knee. "This could be your big break, all you need is the DVD." Her fingers began teasing tanned skin, Madison visibly stiffened. "But I want you, all of you until tomorrow morning." She brought her hand up and placed two fingers under her chin, urging her to look into her eyes. "What do you say?"

Their lips were barely apart, Madison could feel her breath on her face, It digusted her. Staring into anxious green eyes, the word no was on the tip of her tongue. But then she continued to hear the video, Ashley openly stated more than once that her and Spencer were a couple. Big news like that would result in a pretty paycheck, allowing her to shower her daughter with new things. Things she couldn't afford now. That sealed the deal for her. Her daughter meant everything to her, she would do anything to make her happy.

Anything.

Hesitating, Madison closed the distance between them and placed a nervous kiss on her lips. Her eyes snapped shut and she wished she where somewhere else. She felt dirty agreeing to sleep with Samantha, like the cheap whores she saw earlier. The kiss ended, it was short but gave the blonde a clear answer. Their eyes locked once more, Samantha's filled with excitement, Madison's filled with dread. "Shall we continue this in the bedroom?"

Madison nodded numbly, standing, she followed Samantha into her bedroom.

----------

It was dead quiet when Rachael stepped into the RV. They were at the concert venue and Pops wanted everyone inside preparing for the show. Spencer was the first person Rachael came across. She sat in the booth, head resting against the window, eyes closed, it was obvious she was sleeping. The assistant quickly closed the distance between them and laid a gentle hand on her arm, waking her. Gray eyes opened and Spencer quickly jerked away from the window. "Pops wants everyone inside." She said softly to the incoherent teen.

Spencer gradually relaxed, stretched, and then met her gaze. "Where are we?"

"At the venue. We're not getting hotel rooms since we're leaving after the show."

Spencer nodded and slid out of the booth. "Do you want me to get Ashley?"

Rachael shook her head, smiling. "I can handle her." Spencer looked uncomfortable. "I've been waking Ashley for over a year now, I'm experienced." She noticed how tired Spencer looked. "You can go inside and take another nap, or there is food everywhere, get you something to eat. I'll worry about everyone else."

Spencer hesitated, but then easily agreed. She didn't want Rachael to see the damage Ashley caused in their room. But the determination in Rachael's eyes told her she didn't have a choice. "I'll see you later." She said reluctantly, leaving Rachael to do her job. She was still tired and decided to find her dressing room and something to sleep on.

Rachael continued down the bus, intent on waking everyone else. Clay was already awake when she reached him. He was lying in bed watching a DVD. She told him to see Pops and he immediately got up. Glen was more difficult to wake. He lied snoring his lungs out. It took some work to wake him, which was expected. Out of everyone, he was the hardest to wake. Glen's eyes shot open, he looked groggily at Rachael. "Where are we?" He yawned.

"The venue. Pops wants everyone up."

Glen nodded and got out of the bunk. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Clay exit the bus. "Who's left on the bus?" He asked curiously, looking into Rachael's eyes.

"Ashley."

Glen looked at the back door. "If you don't mind, I want to talk to her alone."

Rachael didn't argue, "That's fine." She said easily, turning and exiting the bus.

Alone, Glen moved to the back of the bus and stopped at the door. What could he say to Ashley? He was angry at her, but didn't want to make things worse between them. If anything, he wanted to fix things with the troubled rock star. He hated his feelings towards her, especially after knowing her for so long, it hurt to hate Ashley. Smiling, he thought back to when she was 13, she was smart for her age and very to herself. Not bothering anyone, she hardly caused any trouble and was overall a good kid. He grabbed the doorknob and turned his hand, opening the door.

The first thing he noticed was the smell of smoke, his eyes immediately landed on the rock star and the smile slid off his face. He was crudely reminded of reality; Ashley was no longer a 13 year old, her good kid persona died along time ago. On the bed sat the 17 year old, the walls and everything else around her damaged by her own hands. She sat on the bed with her back against the headboard, cigarette hanging loosely from her lips. Her eyes stared into space and her face was vacant, free of any emotion. She no longer wore Spencer's clothes. She had changed into her own jeans and t shirt. There was a vodka bottle nestled between her legs. Glen examined it closely and realized it hadn't been open. "We have to get going." He spoke calmly to the dazed rock star, not in the mood to be mean.

Ashley looked up at him, surprised to see him standing at the doorway. Her ears had failed to hear the door open and her arm had failed to feel the hot Ash of her cigarette burn her skin. She looked down at it, her eyes expressing the surprise she felt. Where did I go? She wondered while bringing her hand up to her lips. She took the cigarette and quickly extinguished it. She stared at it a long moment, wondering when she lit it. She then looked down at herself, her clothes were different, when did she change? She closed her eyes and began rubbing her temples, she had a terrible headache and her thoughts only made things worse. Everything seemed so messed up and she was confused. She didn't remember waking up- why was she awake?

Glen immediately got on the bed and moved next to her. She looked sick and disoriented, he didn't know if she was high or not, but if she was high he wanted to make sure she wasn't overdosing on anything. "Are you okay Ashley?"

Ashley opened her eyes and wondered when he got on the bed. She didn't feel the mattress shift. "I'm fine." She lied moving her hands from her head to her lap. She sat staring into blue eyes. "Where are we again?"

"We're at our next show. Pops wants us…" His voice faded into nothing when he noticed Ashley's arm. The cuts that stained her skin were still a violent red, it made him angry. "What are these?" He grasped her wrist and turned her arm over, inspecting the cuts. "Are you fucking kidding me?" He looked back into her eyes, wanting answers. "How come I haven't seen these before?"

The rock star shrugged, "I've been wearing hoodies, bracelets, arm bands-" She stopped talking when Glen got off the bed, staring angrily into her eyes.

"If the media got a shot of those- who knows what it'll do to the band's reputation."

Ashley's tanned body instantly stiffened as she stared incredulously at him, and when the anger was too much, she stood up, glaring menacingly into brown eyes. "Right, what the fuck was I thinking, risking the band's reputation?" She laughed bitterly, "It's not like what I'm feeling matters, you just fucking care about this band's reputation, God I fucking hate you Dad…" She trailed off when the words registered in her mind. She blinked several times and felt sick when she realized it was Glen she was talking to, not Pops. "I-I'm sorry." She breathed uneasily, her headache worst now than ever. "The media won't find out about them, I won't cut anymore, I'm sorry."

Glen stared fearfully at her, there was something wrong with her. So very wrong with her."Are you high?" He asked confusedly, "Drunk, tired, sick- Ashley what's wrong with you?"

Brown eyes stayed glued to the spot in the corner. She remembered being in Spencer's arms, how warm she felt, how good it felt to be loved by someone, to have someone there for her every time she needed comfort, she missed the feeling. She wondered what the blonde was doing now. The last thing she remembered was feeling her lips on her face-

"Ashley."

The rock star's head snapped up and met puzzled blue eyes. "Huh?"

"What is wrong with you?" Glen asked again, fear gripping onto his chest. Ashley had never been so out of it before, it was like she had ADD and couldn't concentrate on anything. If she wasn't looking directly into his eyes, she was staring into space, her mind on a different planet.

"I'm fine." She answered with her own confusion. What was he worried about? She wasn't doing anything wrong, just standing. Glen's expression didn't change, she felt paranoid, she wondered if there was something on her face. She brought her hand up and felt around, everything seemed in place. "There's nothing wrong with me."

Glen eyed the vodka bottle on the bed. Giving into his curiosity, he walked over to the bed and grabbed it. The bottle had never been opened, he looked at Ashley, she stared at the bottle almost obsessively. "You didn't drink any of this." He continued to stare at Ashley. "But you wanted to."

Ashley nodded, remembering the bugs, they were all over her and had disturbed her sleep. She had jumped out of bed and removed her clothing, feeling tiny teeth gnaw at her skin. Surprisingly, the feeling went away when she was naked, standing in the middle of the room, she felt cold and found new clothes to put on. She stared at the bed for over 20 minutes, questioning its security. She didn't see anything, but she knew they could come back at any second. She had grabbed the vodka bottle, intent on getting too drunk to feel them, but soon realized her hands were too slippery to open it. She settled with a cigarette. "I did want to," She found herself saying. "I still want to, but I can't open it."

Glen was surprised by her honesty, he looked down at the bottle in his hand, confirming it was unopened, and then back at Ashley. Her brown eyes were anxious, he realized she wanted him to open it for her. He mentally told himself 'no', she was fucked up enough from something else. Alcohol was the last thing she needed. "Pops is waiting for us, we have to go." He didn't wait for Ashley to answer. He just turned and left with the vodka bottle.

Ashley sighed, looking forward to the bitter liquid, but quickly got over it and slipped on her vans.

----------

Spencer stared at her reflection, satisfied with her hair and makeup. It still made her uncomfortable having strangers touch her face and fix her hair, she felt guilty sometimes. They worked really hard to make her look good, insisting that it was no problem, but that didn't stop Spencer from thanking them a million times.

AJ was sitting on a chair watching her with amusement. Spencer had allowed him to hang around her, to his enjoyment, and the blonde was proving to be very fun to watch. She was kind and naturally sweet, it was refreshing. "Are you sure you're in love with Ashley?" He questioned once the hair and makeup people left the dressing room.

Spencer looked away from the mirror and met his gaze. "Very much so." She smiled and then laughed when he scratched his head like a 5 year old. "Is there a reason for the question?"

The bus driver stood and stretched. "You guys are just so different." He pointed to the chair she previously sat on. "Last time I watched Ashley in that chair, getting her hair and makeup done, she was a total bitch to the professionals and never thanked them for the job they did." He paused. "That's how she is with everyone who works hard to make her life easy and pleasurable. And then there's Pops, she could careless about his health. I…I just don't see how you put up with her."

Spencer was so sick of the question, it was a hard one to answer since no one understood her lover, she hesitated before answering. "I just love her." She said simply, wishing the words were stronger, conveying the intensity of the love she had for Ashley. The rock star was everything to her, since day one she was drawn to her like a moth to a flame, she loved her to death. "What about you AJ? Do you have a special someone?" She asked the first thing that came to mind, just wanting to change the subject.

"Not really. I'm too busy trying to get an acting career going- and then there's driving everywhere." He shrugged, smiling at her. "It'll happen when it happens."

There was a knock at the door, followed by Rachael. "You're needed to sound check." She said to Spencer.

AJ held his arm out to her. "I'll walk you there."

Spencer smiled and took the offered arm.

----------

The hallway full of dressing rooms was packed; people were running all over the place preparing for the show. Ashley stared at everyone with amusement, especially the hair and makeup people. They talked non stop while walking toward their next clients. Four other bands were playing with them, Ashley knew things were going to be more hectic than usual. It didn't bother her, she was used to hectic. Finding Spencer was her main concern.

"Ashley!"

The rock star stopped when the familiar voice filled her senses. Smiling, she turned around and greeted Mike with a hug. "What's with you?" He asked pulling back. It seemed as though she was looking for something when he first saw her. Then It hit him. "Follow me for a second." He took her hand and walked them to the nearest room. He closed the door and faced her. "I got something for you." He pulled out a small clear packet. "I was going to try some later, but it looks like you can use it more than me. It's Oxycontin." 

Ashley accepted the drug and stared at the crushed white powder. Her hand shook from the excitement she felt, visions of her on her knees snorting the white powder came to mind. She unconsciously licked her lips, the urge to refuse the drug was starting to wither away, replaced with the need to take it.

Both musicians moved away from the door when the handle rattled. Ashley quickly hid the drug in her back pocket, eyeing the blonde who stepped into the room, she had no idea who the woman was, but from the way she dressed, it was obvious she was a whore.

"I thought I saw you walk in here." She giggled while strolling over to a grinning Mike. Reaching the drummer, she wrapped her arms around him and met Ashley's gaze. "I know you." She giggled again, eyeing the rock star, she noticed the discomfort on her face and said, " Mikey here has told me some stories about you...I know your wild."

Ashley looked at Mike, he was grinning from ear to ear. She hated how nothing in her life was private, especially her sex life. "Who is this?" Her eyes flickered back over to the blonde. The look on her face told Ashley more than she wanted to hear. The urge to tell them both to leave was strong. It annoyed her that a total stranger knew something about her.

"Ashley this is Cookie." Both blondes laughed at this, Ashley couldn't even smile at the overused name. Her father had plenty of 'cookies' 'kitties' and 'buttercups' hanging around him when she was younger. She hated them all. "She'll be hanging around for awhile." An idea came to him and he started laughing. "Oh Ashley we can have so much fun with her."

The rock star took a step back when he stepped forward, it was the girl she withdrawing from, she was more than willing to throw herself at her, like so many other girls. Ashley stopped moving and just stared at her. She was no different from her past fucks, just some girl wanting to sleep with a rock star, maybe get lucky and date her for awhile, enjoying the benefits of loving someone rich. The smile that lined Ashley's lips was anything but pleasant. "You wanna have some fun?" Her eyes never left the brown ones in front of her. The blonde nodded and began walking to her. Ashley stood still, allowing her hands to run up her abdomen, breasts, and finally over her shoulders. "You want me to fuck you?"

The blonde eagerly nodded wrapping her arms around a tanned neck, she moved forward for a kiss and was surprised when Ashley jerked back. "I'm sorry." The rock star said calmly, watching the blonde's face fall. "The best I can do is an autograph, maybe a picture." She gently removed the arms off her body and stepped away from the blonde. Mike stood staring strangely at her.

"I'm finished with this." She said simply. "Have fun without me." She winked at Mike and then left the room.

----------

Ashley stepped out of the room and closed the door. She didn't have a second to breathe before a hand reached out and grasped her wrist. "You're needed for sound check." Ashley didn't know the man who grabbed her and angrily pulled her hand back. "Get going." He demanded before talking into his headset.

The rock star quickly found her way to the stage. Her eyes landed on the large empty space that covered the room. She knew hundreds of people would soon occupy the floor, the thought didn't intimidate her, she loved playing for big crowds. The rush was amazing, high or sober.

A woman's laugh filled her ears. Ashley smiled and turned her head. Spencer stood talking with AJ, the bus driver sat on a speaker talking softly to the blonde. Ashley frowned, not liking the scene. She wasn't used to feeling jealous and the emotion disturbed her. It also bothered her that the man talking to her girlfriend was one of the people she hated the most.

Ashley zipped up her hoodie and walked over to the two. Spencer immediately greeted her with a smile, she returned it but it was short lived, dying once she got caught sight of AJ. He looked better, having shaved and dressed up, it didn't relieve Ashley in anyway.

"Ah Ashley you finally decided to join the fun." He hopped off the speaker and stood casually in front of her. "How've you been?" He asked, not really caring. Ashley was dead to him. He couldn't love someone who hated Pops.

Ashley saw right through his sweet voice and kind eyes. She knew he was only showing off in front of Spencer. "Fine." She answered curtly wishing he'd disappear.

AJ continued staring at her, sighing when he realized she was finished talking. "Well I'm glad to hear it, I'm fine by the way. Thanks for asking."

The sarcasm was clearly noticeable. It aggravated the rock star." Why would ask how you are?" She asked with a furrowed brow. "I could

careless about you. You could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a fuck."

Spencer snapped her head over in her direction. Ashley's face was dead serious, she meant every word. "Ashley!" She chastised shocked, not

liking the look in her lover's eyes. Hate filled her brown orbs. Spencer didn't understand why she hated her family so much. She thought back to AJ's speech in the hotel room. It sounded like he wanted the family to get along. Why didn't Ashley feel the same?

"No, it's alright." AJ said looking at Spencer. Their eyes met and he flashed her a smile. "She's just being honest, I'm used to it." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. The act surprised both Spencer and Ashley. "Have fun." He looked at Ashley. "You should smile more often." He patted her cheek and then walked off.

The kiss was too long to be casual, it bothered Ashley. She knew AJ wanted Spencer and looked at the blonde. Did she want him to? The thought made her taunt, her eyes slightly narrowed. The wave of jealousy that swept through her was terrible, it was all she could feel.

"That wasn't very nice Ashley." She met her gaze and was momentarily stunned by the unreadable expression on her lover's face. "He was just being nice." She added, wanting desperately to understand Ashley's bitterness. Was it the addiction? Was she grumpy? The blonde just wanted to understand.

Ashley looked away, the blonde's words did nothing to ease her mind. Why did she care so much about her cousin? "I hate him and I'll never be nice to him. Get used to it."

The bitterness in her tone further confused Spencer. She stared at Ashley and noticed the far away look in her eyes. What was she thinking? "Ashley, what's wrong?" The urge to touch her lover was strong, she looked so angry and frustrated, Spencer just wanted to comfort her. Which wasn't easy in a populated room. People were starting to stare; they were making a scene.

Ashley snapped out of her thoughts and focused on Spencer. She wondered if the concern look in Spencer's eyes was for her or AJ. "Are you with the right Davies, Spencer?" She spat and then stalked away from the blonde. Her presence made her sick, she needed to get away. Her thoughts strayed back to her pocket and what lied inside, it'd be so easy to sneak off and snort it all, leaving her numb. But then her gaze landed on the red guitar leaning against its stand. She walked over to it and put it on, not missing a beat, she grabbed a pick and started playing, stopping every now and then to tune.

Spencer stared at her feeling her own anger. The words replayed in her mind and for a second, she wondered the same thing. And then another second past and her thoughts strayed away from AJ and back on Ashley. She loved Ashley too much to even think about another person. The thought of being without the rock star was unbearable. In that moment, she stared down at her bass guitar and realized she needed Ashley as much as Ashley needed her. Closing her eyes, she decided to test the waters and picture her life without the rock star. When she opened them again, she looked at the rock star and realized she'd be empty without Ashley Camryn Davies.

----------

Ashley took off her guitar and headed backstage once sound check was over. She didn't want to see Spencer yet, her mind was all over the place, collecting her thoughts was becoming a difficult task and she felt angry. Her anger revolved around herself. She felt unstable in her own skin, one minute she was okay - the next - she hated the world. She couldn't see Spencer feeling so unstable, especially after snapping at her. The thought made her fists clench. Everything seemed a mess in her life. Spencer, Kyla, Brenda, Pops- everything was taking its toll on her.

She found the dressing room she was assigned to and collapsed on a near by chair. There was a table in the room and she stared at it, remembering the oxycotin. Her eyes drifted away and she imagined herself walking to it, pouring the oxycotin and snorting it all. The thought made her itch, she shifted in her chair and shook her head. "Stop it." She told herself, the thought being more than torturous. She wished her mind would just stop and stay blank forever. Giving her the peace she needed.

The more she thought about taking the oxycotin, the more she wanted it to do it. She always got what she wanted, especially when it came to drugs. Why should this be any different? She asked herself. Her tanned body rose from the seat and she walked over to the table, digging in her back pocket. She would buy peace, everything had a price. Unfortunately, drugs were the price for peace. She could afford it. Her mentality drove her to opening the packet and pouring its white contents onto the table.

She straightened up and eagerly looked around for something to cut the lines. Her eyes landed on a dresser, she rushed over to it and opened the top dresser, throwing things out of it, she searched eagerly for a razor blade or something similar. A razor blade.

The word floated through her mind and she automatically looked at her arm. Her black sleeve covered the cuts, she pulled it up and stared at the red marks. Shame filled her again and she angrily pulled the top drawer out of the dresser and threw it across the room, not satisfied when it fell to the floor.

It wasn't enough, she moved to the vanity table and swiped all of its contents onto the floor, anger pulsated through her body, she wanted to destroy everything in the room. She looked up into the mirror and met Spencer's gray eyes. They watched her with fear. Ashley's hard breathing filled the room, "Get the fuck out!" She screamed needing to be alone. Everything in the room had to go, it all sickened her. She looked into the mirror and stared at the one thing that sickened her the most. Without a thought, she brought her hand up and shattered the mirror, her eyes closing as the glass hit her face. Spencer moved across the room in record speed, Ashley felt a hand on her body and violently moved away, staring bullets at her. "I told you to fucking leave." She hissed with eyes of a stranger. "You don't understand shit." She seethed, putting distance between them. Anger radiated off her in waves and her eyes desperately searched for something to destroy.

Spencer touched her again, trying to calm her down, and was surprised when her hand was captured in a painful grasp. Her eyes met her lover's and what she saw scared her. Unreadable brown eyes stared into hers, a sadistic smirk over her lips. "You want me that bad?" She asked taking her other hand. "I'll be more than happy to fuck you." She growled, pushing Spencer against the wall, she roughly held her arms and stared into her eyes. Their faces were inches away, Spencer could feel her breath on her face as she stared into wild brown eyes. She tried freeing her hands, but Ashley took them and pinned them up on the wall above her.

The small distance between them was closed and Ashley brushed her lips against Spencer's. The blonde didn't move her head, or even fight the rock star, to her surprise, she found herself wanting the rock star, needing the rock star. "I love you Ashley." She said against her lips, feeling Ashley's body rub up against hers in pleasurable ways. It was then that Ashley pulled back. So many emotions ran across her brown eyes, her face was full of confusion and fear. She opened her mouth to speak, but Spencer closed it with her lips. She kissed the rock star and felt her hands being freed, moaning when the rock star tore open her shirt, the buttons hitting the floor loudly as tanned hands roamed over her skin, slipping underneath her bra and stroking her breasts. It was madness, one minute Spencer feared Ashley, the next she was moaning her name for more.

Realization struck and she moved her head to the side, thinking it would stop Ashley, she was wrong. The rock star's lips moved to her neck, sucking down her skin. "Ashley….Baby we have to stop." She spoke huskily from the effects of Ashley's hands and lips. Her body felt wonderful, but her mind knew it was all wrong. "Ashley, stop I can't do this with you now, not in here…"

Ashley stopped and moved up, placing her head against the wall, she breathed heavily with her eyes closed. The side of her face touched Spencer's. The blonde felt her heavy breathing against her neck and moved her hand up, caressing damp auburn locks.

"I'm scared." She breathed melting into the blonde's caress. "I can't think clearly, I-I have no control over my emotions and everything pisses me off." She found herself fighting back tears for the millionth time. She was so tired of crying. "And I can't stop fucking crying. Everything hurts Spencer and all I want to do is stop the pain but I can't because I…I don't want to disappoint you or Kyla. It's just sitting there on the table waiting for me to snort it, but I can't fucking do it and it's driving me insane."

Spencer looked at the table and noticed the drugs. She had missed the drugs when she first walked in, being too distracted by Ashley, and now understood her lover's behavior. She ran her free hand up and down the rock star's back, soothing tense muscles. "Things will get easier Ashley." Hearing her lover whimper, she turned her head and kissed her temple. "I promise sweetheart." She kissed her again. "I'm so proud of you Ashley. So proud Baby."

Ashley buried her face in her neck and heard the words like a soft caress. It eased her mind, making the shame and guilt she felt more bearable.

Spencer continued caressing the rock star, talking softly to her while placing light kisses on the top of her head. Ashley eventually relaxed and pulled away. Spencer reached out and caressed her face. "Feel better?"

Ashley nodded, still feeling like shit, but the urge to tear the place down was weak. Replaced with the need to sleep. "I'm really tired…" She confessed just wanting to sleep.

Spencer eyed the couch in the room and wished it were more comfortable. "Okay sweetheart." She leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Grabbing her hand, she led them to the couch and watched Ashley lie down. She kneeled down and began stroking her hair. "I love you Ashley." She kissed her lips softly. "Forever Baby."

----------

Teeth clenched, eyes closed, jaw taunt, Ashley played the last solo for the night; her hands moving expertly across the strings, sending jolts of pain up her arms. The pain was unbearable, but she played anyway. Her brown eyes opened and she stared into the crowd, they paid to see her play, she was their entertainer, she was going to give them one hell of a show. Moving across the stage, she stepped onto a speaker and jumped off into the crowd, landing on her back, she continued playing on the crowd. She felt everything from nails to teeth on her skin, but never stopped playing.

Spencer watched her girlfriend float over the sea of people, her heart leapt in her throat when she took her guitar off and sunk into the crowd, becoming one of the hundreds of screaming kids. Spencer looked over at the rest of the band. They all had shocked expressions of their faces. The security guards were freaking out, not knowing what to do. The large group of people huddled around the middle of the crowd told them where Ashley was. It was only a matter of finding her and bringing her back safely to the stage.

Ashley allowed the crowd to paw at her, allowing their hands to grasp at her, some tearing her clothes off, some just wanting to feel her skin. Ashley turned her head and locked eyes with a girl. The girl grabbed the back of her head and brought her down for a kiss, forcing her tongue into the rock star's mouth. Ashley kissed her back, wanting to rock her world, and then pulled away with the barest hint of a smile. She loved the attention, it made her forget about everything else. Feeling everything from pain to pleasure, she forgot about Kyla, her mother, cocaine and Pops, nothing mattered, just the nails tearing away at her dysfunctional body.

The group of people grew larger, more bodies pushed into her, she felt light headed, her lungs couldn't expand, something was pressing up against her, or someone, several pairs of eyes stared into her face, screaming, crying, and loving her. Ashley's eyes started to droop, she couldn't breathe, she kept sinking into the crowd, into the people that loved her. They were killing her. The room was so dark, she couldn't see anything, she knew she was drowning, she couldn't breathe, the feeling was incredible, better than any drug. She finally felt peace, no past or present memories plagued her. She felt normal for the first time in her life.

And then the feeling was gone. Her eyes snapped open before they could close, they were wide as rough hands grabbed her upper arms and placed a mask over her face. She soon realized it was an oxygen mask and the rough hands belonged to security. Somewhat disoriented, she was led out of the crowd and staggered back stage with Roscoe's help.

Her shirt was no longer a shirt. Most of it was torn off and hardly covered anything. Ashley didn't wait for Roscoe to leave before grabbing what used to be the hem of her shirt and taking it off. Her skin wasn't as bad as she thought it'd be. There was no blood, just scratch marks everywhere. They'd fade, she mused in her mind. She heard the door close and realized she was alone. She reached up and removed what was left of her bra.

She then noticed the room had been fixed. She smiled as she stared at everything. It was like she hadn't done a thing to it. There was a new vanity table with a new mirror and not a spec of glass anywhere. Ashley sat on the couch and placed her hands on her warm belly. She was tired, which was starting to piss her off. All she wanted to do was sleep all the time. She then remembered why she valued cocaine so much. It kept her up and active, it was like a layer of energy sprawled over her exhaustion. She missed it.

Feeling her eyes start to droop, Ashley immediately stood up. She was so sick of sleeping. Her dreams were never good and she always woke up confused. The door opened and she turned her head. Spencer stood staring angrily into her eyes. Ashley was frozen under her gaze, wondering what she did so wrong. She had never seen her girlfriend look so angry. "Spen-" The blonde reached her, standing face to face, Spencer's anger visibly pooled in her gray eyes. It left her speechless.

"How could you?!" The blonde demanded bringing her hands up and pushing the rock star back. "God Ashley don't you ever think about anything?!" She seethed pushing her repeatedly with each word. Ashley soon found herself pressed up against the wall. She shivered as the cool paint came into contact with her warm skin. Spencer seemed lost in her anger, a haze had come over her, the urge to do more than just push the rock star was overwhelming. It frightened her.

Stepping away from the rock star, Spencer brought her hands up to her face in shock. "Oh god." She breathed and then turned away.

Ashley watched her head for the door. "Spencer!" She called out going after her. She was still reeling from the blonde's words and actions, but

that didn't stop her from going after her. "Stop!" She watched Spencer open the door and step out of the room. She quickly followed and did the same. "Spencer." She grabbed her arm trying to stop her. "I want to talk about this."

Everyone within earshot stopped to stare at them.

Spencer turned with every intention to tell the rock star to leave, but then saw the state she was in. The rock star stood wearing a gold chain across her neck, black jeans with a white belt and checkered vans. The rest of her was bare. "For Christ's sake Ashley." She could feel everyone's eyes on them. "Everyone can see you."

"They don't matter." Ashley's eyes pleaded for her to listen. "Please talk to me."

Spencer didn't answer, she just grabbed Ashley and pulled her into the room. "You're so fucking insane." She vented staring bullets into brown eyes. "Ashley you could have at least put on a shirt."

"That would have taken too long. You would have been gone by the time I finished." She argued.

Closing her gray eyes, Spencer sighed and leaned against the door. "Ashley I'm so tired of your wild actions. You're too unpredictable and when things get bad you wreck shit." Her voice shook as she continued venting. Everything felt so heavy on her shoulders. She was stressed. "I don't know how to handle you-" The warm hands on her upper arms stopped her from speaking. She opened her eyes and realized how close Ashley was to her.

The rock star leaned forward and kissed her forehead while attempting to wrap her arms around her. Spencer resisted and tried to move away. "Let me hold you." Ashley whispered, gently pulling her into her arms. Hearing the fear in her lover's voice, Spencer gave in and wrapped her arms around a slender waist, resting her head on her chest, she felt Ashley's hands soothingly run over her hair and back. "You're driving me crazy." She mumbled against her skin. "Do you know what it's like watching your love nearly drown in a sea of people? How could you put me through that?" She demanded with steady tears running down her face. "You could have died Ashley. God, what were you thinking?"

Ashley was quiet for a moment, just thinking. She felt horrible for worrying Spencer. It was obvious she scared the blonde, which blew her mind. She wasn't used to people caring about her. It was overwhelming knowing how intense Spencer's care for her ran. She wasn't used to it all. "I'm sorry. I haven't been thinking straight all day." She confessed quietly. "My mind has been all over the place and I just wanted to lose myself in something." She shook her head sadly and then kissed Spencer's hair. "I won't do it again. I promise." Spencer just nodded and burrowed deeper into her lover. They stood holding each other in the silence, both lost in their own thoughts. It didn't last long. After 10 minutes, Ashley's phone ruined the serene setting.

Spencer reluctantly released her lover and watched Ashley grab her cell phone and flip it open. It had beeped instead of rung. Spencer assumed Ashley had a new text message. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed her reflection. Spencer turned her head and met her gaze In the mirror. She was shocked to see it in one piece, and then she looked at the floor and it was spotless. "How did-"

"All it took was two checks." Ashley's eyes never left her cell phone. "Our room should look good as new too." She added casually.

Ashley's words were more than disturbing. Spencer found herself staring strangely at her girlfriend. She wondered how often Ashley threw fits and destroyed rooms. "Ashley you can't keep destroying things when you're angry." She walked over to her girlfriend. "It doesn't make it right even if you do have the money to fix everything afterwards."

Ashley looked at her In surprise. Being told right from wrong was also a foreign experience. To her everything she did was right. It felt weird being told she was wrong. She obviously needed new methods on handling things. She didn't want to risk losing Spencer. "I'm sorry." She leaned forward and kissed the blonde lightly. "I'll do better, I promise." Ashley closed her phone and slipped it back in her pocket. The small message was an invite to a party, which was the last thing she wanted to think about.

Looking up, Ashley met questioning gray eyes. She wondered if her aggravation was expressed on her face. "I was invited to a party." She yawned and tried to keep talking but was interrupted by another yawn. "Fuck," She swore her frustration and hated how tired she felt.

"Ashley." Spencer soothed placing her hands on her lover's bare waist. The warm skin felt good under her hands, Spencer fought back the urge to explore more of her lover's warm body. Ashley looked really tired, that was the last thing she needed. "We're almost finished for tonight." She kissed her cheek. "You'll be in bed soon."

Ashley groaned and moved forward into Spencer's arms, burying her head in her shoulder, she fought back another yawn. "This sucks so bad." She mumbled against the material of her shirt. "I feel so damn drowsy." She murmured, feeling her girlfriend caress her warm back, Ashley snuggled deeper against the blonde as her eye lids began to sink.

Spencer stood caressing the rock star, lost in her own mind. She wondered how long things were going to be rough. She wasn't naïve, she knew a bit about withdrawal, she knew Ashley was experiencing the worst of her addiction. The rock star would most likely be moody, antsy, sleepy, and overall complicated. The more she thought about it, the more she caressed her lover, messaging and stroking her skin lovingly. She started thinking about her lover's drug craving. She had seen a bit of that already. Spencer observed that Ashley got very angry and desperate when she wanted drugs. That would probably be the hardest to deal with. Her anger and desperation made her unpredictable. Spencer sighed and held Ashley tighter. She wondered how Ashley got the cocaine she threw away earlier. "Ashley," She called her name softly, intent on asking her girlfriend. Ashley's eyes snapped open and she abruptly picked her head up. The grogginess on her face told the blonde she had been sleeping. "Oh honey," she breathed. "You really are tired."

Ashley shook her head. "I'm fine." She yawned not sounding too convincing. She knew they still had a meet and greet to do and dreaded it. The only thing she wanted to do was find a bed, cuddle with Spencer, and sleep. She had to snort at the ridiculous thought. Her life was far too complicated for such simple things. "I think I should find a shirt." She mumbled hearing voices outside the room. "We'll have to leave soon."

Spencer nodded and kissed her again, her lips landing on a smooth chin. "I love you, Ashley." She spoke softly while wrapping her arms around her lover and burying her face in a smooth neck. Ashley easily returned the hug, kissing the top of a blonde crown, she let her nose enjoy the sweet golden locks. "I love you too."

----------

The cool water felt good on her hands as Spencer washed them. After leaving the dressing room, she had left Ashley to use the restroom. Now, looking into the mirror, she realized how bad her make-up had gotten. Her mascara was smeared over her cheeks, a trail of black ink falling to her jaw. Ashley had mentioned it before they left the room, Spencer kissed her and told her she'd meet up with her later. The blonde didn't feel like redoing her makeup. She was drained emotionally and physically. Cupping a hand full of water, she washed her face repeatedly until the wakeup was all gone. It took her a total of ten minutes to wash all the cosmetics off. Spencer smiled as her mother's voice filled her mind. She'd always tell her she was too pretty for makeup. That's why she wasn't allowed to wear it until she was 16. Her mother still sighed and made annoying remarks about her makeup to this day. Spencer took it as a compliment.

Exiting the bathroom, the blonde walked stealthy to the meet and greet table. She was usually excited heading toward the meet and greet table, but today was different. The day's events were exhausting and she felt it all catch up with her, her eyes felt heavier and the urge to sleep was strong. It was going to be a long night, but she wasn't complaining. Despite everything, she would never complain. She was grateful for everything in her life, good or bad, she was truly happy.

"Hey Spencer."

Snapped out of her thoughts by a deep voice, Spencer turned her head and locked eyes with Mike. His face was full of facial hair, it seemed as though he gave up on shaving and the skin around his eyes were black, an obvious sign of no sleep. Spencer then looked down at his own bare torso and noticed how thin he'd gotten. "Does that say Ashley?" She questioned staring at the large tattoo on his abs. Two crows held a banner with her girlfriend's name written across it, Spencer found it unsettling and plain weird. She had no idea how close Ashley and Mike were. She prayed their seemingly deep friendship was shallow and destructible, but highly doubted it, especially with Ashley's name tattooed on his body. They were obviously good friends, which wasn't good.

A full smile spread over the drummer's lips. He followed Spencer's eyes to his tattoo and began laughing, the memory replaying in his mind. "Shit, Ashley's my buddy of course that's her name." It was apparent the drummer was high on something. "This shit hurt like hell but that bitch was worth all the pain. Man, me and Ash have been through so much shit." He held out a zip lock bag to Spencer. White powder filled the clear plastic. "I gave her some Oxy earlier, but she likes coke better. I got her some."

Spencer continued staring at the drummer, trying hard to keep her composure, which wasn't easy as she stared into the eyes of Ashley's biggest problem. Her friends. They played a big part in her addiction, providing the poison that plagued her lover's mind and body. "Ashley doesn't want that." She answered firmly meeting confused blue eyes.

Mike scratched the back of his dirty blonde head. He never liked Spencer. He saw her as a stuck up bitch who didn't know how to have fun. "Spencer I would give it to her myself but I'm taking off. Please just give this to her." He held it out more insistently, his eyes boring into gray.

"I'm not giving that to her Mike. Just forget it. Ashley can go a night without it." She pushed his hand away curtly, not liking the sneer he gave her.

"Fuck Spencer." He hissed holding the cocaine out to the blonde a final time. "Give it to her Spencer. I'm not fucking around with you you stupid bitch."

The anger she had tried so hard to compress was released. Spencer didn't have time to think, on instinct she reached out, took the zip lock bag, opened it and poured its white contents all over the drummer's shoes. "Fuck you Mike." She released the empty bag and stalked off, leaving a furious drummer behind.

----------

"Thank you, Oh my God. You are so incredible. I just love you so much."

Ashley smiled and said 'thank you' for the thousandth time that hour. She sat comfortably taking pictures, signing CD's, T-shirts and magazines.

Her hand was screaming in protest at all the writing she was doing, but she learned to ignore the pain. The smile and joy she brought to her fans faces made the pain bearable. But she still had a couple of problems. Everyone she came across said something along the lines of 'I love you' 'You're amazing 'I want to be you' – it was just uncomfortable. She should have been use to the praises, but she wasn't. It had been so long since she sat at a meet and greet sober. Getting used to them was becoming difficult. She hated having to smile and soak up loving words she didn't deserve.

"I need a cigarette." She murmured to herself, smiling up at another teenager.

"I just want to say thank you for that kiss. It made my year!"

Ashley immediately tensed, but kept smiling. "No problem." She said coolly, just wanting the teenage girl to leave. She could feel Spencer's eyes boring into her skin. The feeling was terrible.

The red haired girl leaned over and cupped her hands over mouth, shielding her words from everyone else except Ashley. "I want to sleep with you." She whispered deviously, adding a wink at the end.

Ashley immediately shook her head. "I'm sorry. Can you please move along." She said quietly. "You're holding everyone else up."

The girl looked disappointed and angry. "Fine." She huffed stalking away from the table.

The rock star rubbed the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. She needed that cigarette now more than ever. Feeling a hand on her thigh, she turned her head. The blonde sat next to her, signing and making small talk with just about everyone she came across. When she was finished speaking with a teenage boy, she turned her head and met Ashley's gaze. The rock star leaned over and murmured into her ear. "I really don't want to be here." She pulled back and met gray eyes.

"We're almost done. Hang in there Baby." A light knee rub followed the quietly spoken words.

Ashley nodded and stared down at the magazine being shoved her way. Her stomach churned at the cover. It was an old issue, the rock star

assumed sometime in the late 80's or early 90's. It was a picture of her father and her 2 year old self. He sat in a chair with her on his lap; they both had matching smiles and brown eyes. "Where did you get this?" She asked looking up the older woman.

The woman nearing her 30's smiled at the rock star's shocked expression. "EBay. I paid 200 dollars for that baby. I've been a huge fan of your father's since forever and I love your music. That's my favorite picture of you guys." She chuckled. "You were the cutest little thing."

The rock star looked back down at the picture. She didn't remember doing it, and was seeing the picture for the first time in her life. Her hand nearly shook as she brought the black sharpie over the page. She signed her name a lot slower than usual, her eyes glued to her younger self. There was a smile on her face but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Ashley wondered if the picture was taken after her parent's divorce. Was she living on a tour bus then? Did she cry from being separated from her Mother? Did her mother cry from losing her child? The grip on the marker tightened as she continued thinking. Of course not. Why would her mother cry? Brenda didn't even want joint custody of her. "Here you go." She handed the lady back her magazine, her face free of emotion.

The lady thanked her and left. Ashley continued signing but couldn't smile anymore. The thoughts that revolved around her mother were depressing. She hated that she cried for her when she was younger, wishing Brenda would come one day and take her home. It never happened and one day she just stopped wishing it would. And then there were the phone calls. Raife made her call Brenda every Saturday when she was old enough to speak. She would always start off by saying Mommy and end the call with 'I love you.' And then she got older and bitter and 'Mommy' turned into 'Brenda' and 'I love you' was no longer in her vocabulary. The phone calls stopped when she was 10. She couldn't stand her mother, but still spoke to Kyla. She hated Brenda for along time. The rock star never understood why her mother never saved her from the lifestyle she never wanted. Why she never loved her…

"You are my Hero. My whole guitar life revolves around you."

Ashley looked up into another teen face and forced a smile. It was weak but passed more as tired than dejected. "Thank you." She looked down and signed the shirt with a silver sharpie. Another person came and she smiled at them too. The fake smiles were back, all she wanted to do was smoke a cigarette and it seemed the line was never ending. Ashley sighed and leaned back in her seat.

She was tired of signing autographs.

----------

Spencer closed Ashley's laptop and safely placed it on the floor. After leaving the venue, the band had gotten on the bus and started for Oklahoma City. Ashley and Spencer took a short shower and then retired to their room. There, Ashley got out her laptop and began playing games. She was more restless than anything and couldn't sleep. After 10 minutes of playing 'Crysis,' it was apparent Spencer was interested in the game by the way she watched and 'ooh and awed' at everything the rock star did. Smiling, Ashley gave her a brief summary of the game and then explained the controls. Spencer was hooked immediately. Both teens stayed up two hours playing the game. Spencer played the whole time; she sat on the middle of the bed with her legs crossed. Ashley watched her the whole time lying on her stomach. After playing for four hours, Spencer decided she was finished. "Ashley." She looked down at the rock star and realized she was dozing peacefully next to her.

Reaching out, she gently fingered her damp auburn hair. It wasn't the shower water that dampened her hair, Spencer easily concluded noticing the rest of her perspired body. Her smooth tanned face was turned her way; she looked relaxed but her body still perspired like crazy. Spencer knew it was the cocaine making its way out of her system. She continued stroking her lover's hair while thinking in the thick silence. The room looked better than ever, Spencer didn't know how Ashley did it, or how much she paid, but it was nicely done and looked professional. The blonde never really thought about Ashley's financial situation. It was obvious the rock star had money, hell, Ashley had everything, but it wasn't enough for her.

Ashley messed up her thoughts on the wealthy. She remembered being 8 and wishing for a million dollars, thinking it would make her the happiest little girl in the world. Ashley had a million dollars at 8, Spencer wondered if she was happy at all. What did her complicated lover wish for at age 8? She had everything already, right? Thinking of a young Ashley brought Spencer back to the meet and greet table. The two year old picture of her lover was simply adorable. Ashley was a very cute baby with a head full of hair, a complete opposite from her. Spencer was practically bald until age 3. The blonde was also a cute baby, but Spencer thought Ashley was much cuter.

Spencer got off the bed and walked up to the light switch. She flicked it off and then walked back to the bed. Quietly, she settled herself on her stomach along side her lover. For along time she lied staring into her face, caressing her skin, and talking softly to her. The words were mostly encouragements, fears and of course the love she felt for her rock star. Leaning forward, she hovered over Ashley and softly whispered near her ear, "I love you Baby." She placed a feather like kiss on her cheek and then retreated back to her pillow. Closing her eyes, her fingertips continued running over her hair, Spencer fell asleep not long after that, her hand unconsciously slipped from Ashley's body as her dreams invaded her mind.

----------

Groaning, Ashley opened her eyes and immediately sat up. She brought her hands up to her temples as the room began to spin. "Fuck." She rubbed her eyes and began looking around the room. Her gaze fell on the blonde sleeping soundly beside her. She didn't have time to admire her lover as a wave of nausea swept through her, "Oh God." She quickly got off the bed and staggered into the bathroom with her hand firmly against her lips. Collapsing on the cold tile, she embraced the toilet and emptied the contents of her stomach. The strain affected her sensitive nose and she began bleeding. "Kill me." She moaned settling back against the bathroom wall, her head tilted up to the ceiling. "Please God just kill me." She felt the blood run over her lips and winced. "I know you want to." She mumbled moving forward to the toilet paper, she ripped off several pieces and pressed them to her nose. Knowing she was finished vomiting, Ashley stood up, flushed the toilet and then walked out of the bathroom.

She took a seat in the booth and kept her head tilted upward. Anger was all she felt as she waited for the blood to stop. She was pissed off at everyone at that moment, especially herself. The bitch spoiled rock star was back and all she wanted to do was tear the room apart, destroy everything until she passed out from exhaustion. With a heavy sigh, she tried to get rid of the ridiculous thoughts. The problem was she felt restless and had all this energy from her frustration, she had to do something with it. Her fingers began drumming loudly on the table, the sound could be heard throughout the bus. She didn't care, the whole world could kiss her ass if they had a problem with it. Her drumming began to suffer due to the trembling of her hand. Beyond frustrated, Ashley balled her fist and angrily hit the table repeatedly, it hurt like hell but she didn't care. Pain was just another part of her torment.

The hands on her bare shoulders made her tense up. She fell asleep wearing a gray tank top and could feel her lover's warm hands rub her tense muscles gently. Brown eyes opened and Ashley stared up into Spencer's concerned face. Silently, the blonde leaned forward and kissed her forehead lovingly. Ashley relaxed a little and realized the moisture on her face, she was crying again. Why can't I stop fucking crying! She internally screamed. "I'm so sick of this shit." She choked back a sob as Spencer placed another kiss on her face and wrapped her arms around her. "I just want it to stop." She sniffled as Spencer held her tighter. "I wish I would have just drowned- God it felt so good to stop breathing."

Spencer pulled back and stared intently down into her eyes. Tears ran down her puffy brown orbs, Ashley looked miserable. "Don't talk like that Baby." She pleaded gently. "You'll get through this, okay?" Ashley closed her eyes as her bottom lip began to quiver, she hurt so bad everywhere, Spencer saw the pain and kissed her again. "You'll get through this Ashley." She whispered near her ear, "We'll get through this together Baby and then live happily on the beach house. We can spend all day under the warm sun, cuddling in the sand. Everything will be wonderful Ashley, you'll see. I'll make you happy, I promise you'll be happy…"

Ashley stared into space with confusion written all over her face. She continued hearing the murmured promises in her ear and it only furthered her bewilderment. The words made her feel warm and somewhat excited, she couldn't wait to get off the tour bus and live Spencer's promises. "You already make me happy, Spencer." Knowing the bleeding had stopped, she moved her hand down from her nose. Spencer pulled back and met her eyes."I… it's just starting to hit me how fucked up I am." Her voice was calm and quiet it trembled slightly as she spoke. "I wish we could have met under different circumstances Spencer. I don't deserve you." She reached up and began caressing her face. "I'll fuck us up."

Now it was Spencer's turn to be confused. She stared quietly into Ashley's serious eyes, they confirmed the rock star's words and her fears. "Why are you saying that Ashley?" The words she had heard from everyone else replayed in her mind. The 'Ashley will hurt you' 'Ashley will get bored and leave you' 'Ashley will find someone else to fuck'- she was hearing it all from Ashley herself and it made her angry. "Do you plan on getting high and fucking some groupie Ashley?" She hissed and then moved away from the rock star, hugging herself she leaned against the fridge and stared at the rock star, waiting for her to deny her last statement. She never did.

Ashley watched Spencer storm back into the bedroom and slam the door. The rock star rubbed her face with her hands and then slid out the booth. She went inside the bathroom and washed her face and teeth. The cold water felt good against her warm skin. Exiting the bathroom, she walked and entered the backroom, seeing Spencer's suitcase wide open on the bed, panic gripped tightly onto her chest as she unconsciously grabbed the blonde's wrist as she walked past her. "W-what are you doing?!" She stuttered losing all calmness and giving into the panic she felt. It seeped into her tone as well as her facial expression.

"Leaving." Spencer hissed angrily pulling her hand free from the rock star. She stalked back over to her suitcase and began putting her clothes away. "You're fucking with my head Ashley. One minute I love you and the next I just want to strangle you. I can't do this anymore."

Ashley walked over to her and grabbed the jeans she was folding, angrily throwing them aside, she met furious gray eyes. "You can't leave." She found herself saying firmly, her panic had turned into anger as she stared into Spencer's defiant face.

The blonde raised an eyebrow at her. "Oh really?" She asked sarcastically, "Watch me, Ashley. You're not the only one who can get away with doing whatever the fuck she wants." She snarled walking toward her discarded jeans.

Ashley stood speechless, the blonde's bitter words quickly made her realize she could leave. No amount of money would get Ashley what she wanted this time. Spencer could easily walk out on her. The thoughts ran through her mind and her breathing unconsciously quickened, she felt lightheaded and soon found herself on her knees gasping for air. Her eyes stayed glued to the floor as she felt an unsettling heaviness in her chest.

Spencer immediately collapsed next to her and cupped her face, forcing her to make eye contact. "Ashley stop it, you're hyperventilating." She stared into fearful brown eyes and continued to calmly stroke her hair. Her anger was gone, replaced with fear. "Breathe slowly Baby. You're okay."

Ashley's breathing was highly irregular and her heart was beating wildly against her chest. She was sure she was dying, it felt like she couldn't get enough air into her lungs, her arms felt numb and her vision began to blur. She couldn't hear the words coming out of Spencer's mouth, they blurred together into nothing. And then she saw her move forward and fought the blonde off her. "Ashley calm down Baby, let me help you, listen to me and breathe slowly, come on, just breathe slowly." The words were whispered into her ear, Ashley closed her eyes and focused on the blonde's voice. Gradually, she began to relax and when she was able to breathe, she opened her eyes and met caring gray eyes. Ashley desperately collapsed against the blonde and held on tightly to her. "Please don't leave me! God please don't ever leave me!" She begged urgently against the blonde.

"I'm not going anywhere Ashley. Calm down." She began running her hands up and down her tanned back, soothing the distraught rock star. "Just relax Baby."

After awhile, a heavy silence filled the room. Spencer continued soothing the rock star while Ashley breathed softly against her. "It would take the strongest drug…" Ashley cleared her throat a bit and pulled back. She met Spencer's gaze and continued. "to get me in bed with another woman." Her voice was soft, tired and somewhat strained. The panic attack had left her feeling drowsy. "You've ruined everyone else for me. It's just, what I said before- I wasn't saying I wanted to fuck groupies…" A deep yawn interrupted her, Spencer tried to stop her from continuing but she didn't listen. "My own mother couldn't stand me, if I don't deserve maternal love…how do I accept yours?"

So much confusion etched over her voice and face, it was nearly heartbreaking how her eyes begged for some kind of answer. Her mind needed to be eased and Spencer realized this. Once again, she was reminded of how inexperienced Ashley was with having a girlfriend and feeling loved. It didn't bother her, she just reminded herself to be patient with the rock star and try her best to see things through her brown eyes. It wasn't easy, knowing how complex the rock star could be. "A lot of things don't make sense when it comes to love." She paused a moment to collect her thoughts. She wanted her explanation to be clear to Ashley, but shewas finding finding the right words to be difficult. She didn't want to sound like a scientist, but being as smart as she was, her explanation was border lining it. "Love is something that changes a lot in a person. It changes the way people think and feel, it changes a person's mentality and priorities in life. It makes no sense at all sometimes and you need to see that Ashley. Love is a strong force that brings two people together, despite their beliefs and rational thinking. I believe it's what brought me to you and what makes me stay, because before you, I never looked at another woman with lusting eyes." She felt Ashley's hand cover her own and intertwined their fingers. "Maybe one day, my love for you will be enough to make you happy." Her words were spoken softly as her eyes caressed the rock star's face.

Ashley was lost in her gray orbs and she unconsciously leaned forward, her eyes near yearning slits as she stopped a hairsbreadth away from Spencer's lips. "You already make me happy." Spencer was a little hesitant in believing the words, but allowed their lips to meet softly and slowly despite her doubts. The kiss didn't last long. A knock at the door interrupted them, Ashley pulled back and groaned her annoyance. Spencer kissed her cheek softly and then got up.

Brown eyes followed the blonde to the door and Ashley frowned when she opened it. Pops stood at the doorway looking unusually formal. He wore a black suit with his hair combed back. "Practicing for your funeral?" She asked casually, standing from her spot on the floor.

Both Pops and Spencer fought back deep sighs at the rock star's sarcasm. The blonde haired man ignored the question and focused on Spencer. "Good morning Princess." He briefly kissed her cheek and then pulled back. "You're looking lovely this morning."

"Thank you." Spencer smiled sincerely at him. "You do too, something special going on today?"

Pops nodded and then looked at Ashley. She leaned against the window staring quietly down at her shoes. "I'm meeting up with a couple of lawyers today." He met Spencer's gaze again. "We're going to discuss my will."

That got Ashley's attention, she didn't look up, just listened carefully to everything he said.

Spencer's eyes widened slightly. It worried her that he was already preparing his will. Was he that close to death? She wondered fearfully. "You're just doing this to get it over with, right? You don't actually think…" She couldn't finish the sentence. How do you ask someone if they think they're going to die?

"He doesn't do anything unless he absolutely has to." Ashley spoke from the corner of the room, her eyes never leaving her shoelaces. "He thinks he's going to do soon." she said simply with calmness that disturbed Spencer.

Pops also kept a cool composure. "Please excuse us Spencer, I have to talk to Ashley about a couple of things."

Ashley's mouth opened before Spencer could easily agree. "Why can't she stay?" She met his gaze and smirked. "Scared she's going to see the real you?" She shook her head. "I really wish she'd see the asshole you are, maybe then she'd think twice about letting those disgusting lips touch her face."

"Ashley it's fine." Spencer walked over to her and stopped a couple of inches away. There was a reason for their closeness, Spencer didn't want Pops to hear them. "Please be nice, Ashley. I know it's hard, but he's not feeling good-"

"I already told you I don't give a fuck about him-" 

"Well I do." Ashley's jaw clenched at the softly spoken words. Spencer ignored it and kissed her cheek softly, "Don't give him too hard of a time." She pulled away and walked towards the door.

Ashley watched her leave and then shifted her gaze over to Pops. "What do you need?" She asked flatly, his presence making her sick.

"I have a couple of things to discuss with you." He said businesslike. "First off, your mother called and is worried sick about you. You're near death experience is all over the news." He hesitated before asking, "Are you alright? Nothing got broken or-"

"Stop." She snarled not liking the concern on his face. It sickened her, everything about him sickened her, she couldn't wait for him to die. Everything reflected in his eyes was one big lie, he didn't care about her. He never cared about her. "You don't give a fuck." She reminded him and abruptly cut him off when he opened his mouth to speak again. "You don't give a fuck. Now, I'll call Brenda. Is there anything else?"

Pops stared sadly into her eyes. He wanted to fix things, God he could die at any moment and all he wanted was for everything to be alright between him and Ashley. His daughter, the person he should have cared and loved the most, but failed miserably as a father and ended up deserting her and manipulating her to continue his career. Just for the money and fame… "I do give a fu-"

"No." Ashley interrupted. "is there anything else?" She demanded angrily.

"I'm going to focus on my will today. You will probably inherit a lot more than AJ or anyone else. I just wanted to let you know that."

The rock star narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't want my name anywhere on your will. You're not my father, I'm not your daughter, I don't want

anything that belongs to you. Fuck your money, your houses, and you." She folded her arms across her chest. "Anything else?"

"Why do you have to make this so difficult?" He asked raising his voice. "I'm sick, Ashley. Can't you cut me some fucking slack? I'm just trying to be nice here." Ashley didn't say anything, she just stared at the floor and allowed the silence to build. "Whatever." Pops finally said after 10 minutes of silence. "You're in my will whether you like it or not, and I'm your father whether you like it or not. Bye." He spat coldly and then exited the room.

Ashley walked to the nearest window and realized they were at a hotel. "Thank God." She mumbled walking toward the dresser. She needed to get dressed and get off the bus. She needed a cigarette.

----------

Ashley walked off the bus and stood on the side waiting for her blonde lover. Her father was long gone, thank God, and she needed to get away. There weren't too many options; she could either stay in the suite or roam around the hotel. It really didn't matter, she decided. Just as long as Spencer was with her. Brown eyes watched Glen and Clay get off. They didn't greet her, just ignored her presence and moved on. Ashley didn't care, they didn't matter anymore. A smile lifted her lips when Spencer got off. She hadn't said anything to the blonde since Pops told her to leave the room. The smile disappeared when AJ got off after her. All these fucking people… "Hey." She greeted her cousin coldly. "Do you need something?" She asked when he failed to move away from them.

"Calm down." AJ snapped, and then relaxed a second later. "I was just leaving."

Ashley watched her cousin walk away and then turned her head. Spencer was staring somewhat disappointedly at her. "I hate him." She said simply with a shrug. Her stomach chose that moment to rebel, she felt sick. Brown eyes closed as Ashley felt the sharpest pains in her midriff. "Fuck." She hissed placing her hands over her stomach.

Spencer placed her hand on her back and rubbed soothing circles over her shirt. "You need to eat." She told the rock star softly.

Ashley's eyes fluttered open and she shook her head. "I don't think I can keep anything down."

"What happened to your cockiness?" Spencer asked all of a sudden.

Ashley looked at her and was obviously surprised by the question. "Excuse me?"

The blonde grinned. "You're not so cocky anymore. I was just wondering what happened to that egotistical confidence of yours. It was there

the night I met you."

"Spencer I was high." Ashley explained with a half smile. "And you did say love changes people…"

"Then why are you still stubborn?" Spencer teased placing a lingering kiss on her cheek. She felt the rock star's arms wrap around her and melted into her embrace. It didn't bother her that they were out in the open. She loved Ashley and wanted to be held under the warm sun. "I love you and your stubbornness, Ashley." she held on tighter to her rock star. "Do you feel better?"

Ashley pulled back and stared questionably into her lover's eyes. "You're doing all this to get me to eat, aren't you?!" She demanded playfully. Spencer immediately looked guilty but tried to cover it up with a head shake. "Oh Spencer…" The hands on the blonde's body slipped under her shirt and soon Spencer found herself under attack.

"Ashley!" She yelped as the rock star began tickling her. The laughs that wracked her body were all joyful. The tickling stopped as soon as the blonde's back made contact with the bus. Moving her hands down to rest on slender hips, the rock star leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together, feeling her lover's heavy breathing on her face, she stared intently into her eyes with a wide smile, showing off incredibly white teeth. "I love you too, Spencer" She felt the blonde's arms wrap around her neck and molded their bodies together. "So much that'll I'll accompany you to breakfast and actually eat something." The rock star's right hand moved away from her lover's hips and rested on her khaki covered behind.

Their closeness quickly affected the blonde and she was all of a sudden hungry for something else, someone else that wasn't food. The tingle between her legs quickly escalated to an intense pulse. "Ashley," She breathed slightly chuckling. "I convinced you to have breakfast and now you're convincing me to do so much more with you."

"Is that so." Ashley lifted her off the ground and placed a light kiss on her nose, smiling as she set her back down. "And what would you like to do to me, Spencer Carlin?" There was a twinkle in her vibrant brown eyes as she sensually purred the words, her voice dropping an octave; Spencer found it incredibly sexy.

"Nothing my mother would approve of." She murmured closing the gap between their mouths. The rock star's soft lips melted against hers, she ran her hand up a tanned neck and into thick auburn hair, deepening the kiss.

"Your hand is cold." Ashley husked against her lips.

"Then warm me up." She murmured.

Gray eyes were seductive, sending an invisible lasso around a tanned neck, it pulled her in for more. Ashley kissed her harder, her mouth enjoying the blonde's minty breath. Lavender scented hair filled her senses, the smell was serene, relaxing and sensual. Feeling Spencer's warm body pressed against hers- it was all turning Ashley on. The feeling intensified when moist lips parted, allowing the rock star's tongue to enter a warm mouth, both teens moaned at the intrusion. Ashley's veins pounded from the amount of blood rushing through them, her heart raced as she pressed forward, wanting to melt into the blonde.

"You're feeling pretty warm now." Ashley breathed between kisses and nuzzled her lover's blonde hair, breathing heavily along with the blonde. "God I want you so fucking bad." She panted against her neck, the urge to just take the blonde was overwhelming. She didn't care if they stood in the hotel's large parking lot, she needed Spencer, and the blonde's erratic breathing told her she needed her just as bad.

Ashley's lips continued to caress creamy skin, the hands on the blonde's body slipped under a short skirt and freely messaged firm globes, increasing the rock star's arousal. All rational thinking was killed by uncontrollable lust as her hands roamed the blonde's body.

Spencer was just as aroused, craving the rock star's touch, her bottom rose slightly against her hands as she moaned into Ashley's ear. "Baby that feels really good," Her eyes closed from feeling tanned hands knead both her cheeks as precious lips sucked and nipped down her throat, relishing a moan from the blonde. The warm feeling in the pit of her stomach intensified when insistent lips covered a soft lobe and bit into it, raking along pale flesh, Ashley adjusted one of her hands and ran a finger along aroused folds, loving the eager groan that escaped her lover's lips as she spread her legs wider. Wetness could easily be felt through the blonde's undergarments, Ashley sucked hard on her pulse point as she urged her lover's panties down. "Oh god Ashley." Spencer gasped feeling teasing fingers arouse the sensitive skin on her thighs, "Please…Ashley…" She begged her arousal becoming too much to bear.

Ashley gave into her lover's pleas and kissed her softly while stroking her delicate lips with deliberate slowness. Spencer's eyes were closed and her breathing erratic as Ashley took her free hand and held her wrists above her head, kissing her deeply, her tongue caressed Spencer's as confident tanned fingers began teasing her drenched clit. "Ashley!" Spencer tore her mouth away and raised her hips to meet her strokes, sighing when she felt Ashley's warm breath over her sensitive ear. "I love you so much Spencer, so fucking much." Her thumb barely stroked her clit as a slender finger entered her slick entrance. The rock star stared into her eyes as she added another finger, putting more pressure on her clit, she began working them in and out of her tight entrance pleasurably.

The blonde's squirming was too much for the rock star, she freed her hands and allowed them to desperately pull and stroke her hair, it was a nice mix of pain and pleasure as the rock star captured her lips hungrily and enjoyed the way Spencer kissed her back with just as much fervor. "You feel so wonderful my beautiful girl." She praised against panting lips.

Spencer could feel her toes curl as Ashley's had became more insistent against her wet flesh; her thumb brushing against her clitoris repeatedly as her fingers continued to pleasure her. Moaning, Spencer held on tightly to the rock star as she took her up, creating blissful sensations throughout her body. Soon her pleasure became blinding and she was falling….

"I have you Spencer, you're safe with me," she mumbled as the thumb on her slippery flesh moved frantically in sync with the fingers plunging in and out of her, bringing her arousal to an all-time high, she held Spencer closer and began feasting at her neck again.

"Oh Ashley! Don't stop!" The blonde cried frantically.

Hearing the desperation in her voice, Ashley knew she was close and moaned against her lightly perspired skin. The blonde felt the vibration against her neck and lost it; her vision blurred into a florescent light as she thrust urgently and dug blunt nails into tanned skin, holding on for dear life as her body began shaking violently. "Ashely!" She screamed out her pleasure to the world.

"God, I love you." Ashley moaned as Spencer stiffened, feeling the slick velvet walls around her fingers contract and pulse, the rock star leaned over and kissed away the single tear that had spilled from her lover's hazy gray eyes.

Feeling her body's convulsions end, Spencer relaxed and collapsed limply against Ashley, burrowing deeply against her lover's tanned neck as she fought hard to control her breathing. Ashley eased her hand out of her lover and pulled her panties back up. Satisfied, She held the quivering blonde tightly against her and began rubbing her back gently. "Breathe beautiful, I got you Spencer." She murmured resting her chin on top of warm blonde hair. "Forever." She murmured quietly, her voice too low to be heard.

Having recovered, Spencer pulled back and stared into loving brown eyes. "I can't get enough of you." She groaned as her fingers entangled in flawless auburn hair, cupping the back of Ashley's head, she pulled her to her. They lingered outside a little while longer sharing deep kisses and light caresses. "I thought you were hungry?" Ashley breathed being dragged inside the bus by her lover.

Spencer pulled Ashley up the stairs and kissed her lips firmly as they neared the refrigerator. "Some things," She kissed her again while walking backwards toward the back room. "Can just wait." She finished as her back came into contact with the heavy oak door. Ashley easily agreed and pressed up against her lover, kissing her deeply, she grasped the door knob and urged them into the room.

"You drive me insane Ashley Davies," Spencer breathed hotly in her lover's ear, nibbling on a soft lobe as they stood in front of the bed. She played with the skin above Ashley's belt buckle. "Mmm," Spencer hummed kissing her chin while her hands moved down to a white belt, her fingers slowly undoing the cold silver. "To answer your previous question, My rock star…" She kissed her deeper this time, thoroughly enjoying the guitarist's mouth and tongue ring. A shiver ran down the blonde's spine as Ashely growled into their kiss. She brought her hands to the hem of Ashley's shirt and broke their kiss to remove the annoying barrier. "My gorgeous baby." The blonde husked eyeing her rock star's bare torso hungrily. "You feel so good." She moaned running her hand over a dark nipple, she began fondling her lover's breast, arousal pooling between her legs as she teased the taunt bud. "I'm with the right Davies." She moaned nipping at Ashley's bottom lip.

The hand pleasuring her lover's aroused bud fanned the flames of her desire, she leaned into the rock star and allowed her forehead to rest on a warm shoulder, feeling Ashley message her scalp, she closed her eyes and tried to control her heavy breathing. The last kiss had left her breathless, that and her own arousal affected lack of oxygen.

Catching her breath, she caught a glimpse of the open doorway. "Ashley…" She sighed feeling warm hands slip under her shirt and move up and down her sides. "….the door.." She husked placing light kisses all over tan shoulders, occasionally licking the warm skin there, she felt her lover pause and then mumble, "fuck it." She easily obeyed while kissing along her collarbones and then down the valley of her breasts. Feeling the hands on her body go back to her hair, Spencer got down on her knees and moved both her hands down to her lover's crotch.

Trembling hands undid a cold silver button and then pulled down a zipper, staring up into brown eyes, Spencer could tell Ashley was just as excited by their new position. "I love you Baby." She placed urgent wet kisses all over her lover's abdomen, her tongue occasionally teasing her navel, Spencer closed her eyes and enjoyed the rock star's body.

Everything from the noises her lover was making to the taste of Ashley's skin was driving the blonde crazy. Her arousal was clearly evident, her clit pounding as hard as her heart, and the blonde was feeling a bit lightheaded from all the desire coursing through her body. She grasped her tight black jeans and guided them down her legs, Ashley kicked them off and she did the same with her underwear. Spencer kissed her womanhood and then stood up, kissing her passionately, she pushed her back on the bed and covered her lean tanned body with her own.

Things felt different to Spencer as she lied on top of the rock star, staring into loving eyes that clouded over with desire, it seemed as though there weren't any problems between them, everything was perfect.

Kissing swollen lips softly, Spencer sat up on her knees and brought her hands down to the hem of her shirt, removing her shirt and then bra, she then removed her skirt and underwear with Ashley's help. Settling back over the rock star's hips, her skin burned as it came into contact with warm naked flesh.

Ashley sat up slowly and began kissing the exposed skin on her upper chest while teasing the blonde's thighs and back. She felt a tender hand on her shoulder while eager fingers laced their way in her hair.

"Ashley." Spencer breathed as the rock star took a ready nipple into her mouth, her tongue teasing the rock hard bud with a silver barbell, sending delicious shivers through the blonde's body. Spencer stared down at Ashley while stroking and caressing her face and hair, voicing her pleasure and love for her rock star as she continued teasing her breasts.

"I really want to kiss you," She husked as Ashley raked her teeth along an erect nipple.

The rock star looked up and gazed into desire filled gray eyes. "Then kiss me." Ashley whispered running her hands up delicious thighs. Spencer dipped her head and kissed her deeply, moaning into her mouth as hands began to wander boldly over sensitive skin. "Lie back Baby." Spencer breathed against moist lips, placing her hands on tanned shoulders, she eased Ashley down on her back and began kissing the expanse of her neck, sucking and nipping her way down the smooth skin, her lips viciously assaulted tanned flesh, earning her ears more pleas and moans from her lover. Her skin tasted amazing, it was pure ambrosia for the blonde, she couldn't get enough of Ashley. Sucking on her pulse point, Spencer's right hand began teasing a hard dark nipple as Ashley moved against the thigh nestled between her legs, spreading wetness along the blonde's skin, it only made Spencer hotter.

Both teens were on fire as Spencer kissed down her lover's body, teasing dark nipples with her mouth and tongue, biting down the valley between Ashley's breasts, and then kissing down taunt abs, Spencer was in heaven when she finally got to her lover's aching center. Feeling gentle hands message her scalp, the blonde dipped her head and stared up into Ashley's face. Her head was tilted back, eyes shut tightly, and breathing heavy as Spencer moved further down her body, kissing and licking her inner thighs until Ashley begged for more. The scent of her sex filled her senses and she felt dizzy with desire.

Moving up, eager lips kissed taunt abs sensually. "I love you." Spencer mumbled against tanned skin, breathing warm air onto her sensitive skin, Ashley unconsciously raised her hips to meet her lover's mouth, gasping when felt Spencer lick her slowly, sending jolts of pleasure through her body.

Closing her eyes, Spencer ran her tongue along her wetness. Hearing her girlfriend's sighs, feeling her hands in her hair, it all encouraged her to be bolder. She entered slick folds with her tongue and gently circled her pleasure, eagerly drinking her lover's desire, her hands roamed over her smooth thighs, increasing the wetness in her center.

The rock star's words soon blurred into nothing coherent, her voice thick with desire, arousing the blonde to no end. "Spencer…" She heard being gasped as a tanned hand moved her hair aside and began roaming over her warm neck and upper back, it surprised the blonde how gentle and loving her girlfriend's touch was. She predicted Ashley to be the type to cup the back of her head and shove her face into her, but Ashley wasn't like that at all. Her girlfriend was loving and it expressed clearly in their love making.

Slowly the rock star began thrusting her pelvis, Spencer met each thrust with her tongue and then sucked her pulsing clit into her mouth, using her tongue to pleasure her as much as possible. The rhythm was set and Ashley began moaning more urgently and bucking against her mouth. Spencer could feel her thighs quivering against her as she sucked and licked the sensitive bud harder, slowing down as Ashley groaned her climax and arched her back toward the ceiling.

Taking her lover's hand, Spencer moved up Ashley's sweat soaked skin and rested her cheek against trembling abs, closing her eyes as she listened to Ashley's heavy breathing.

The rock star quickly recovered and stroked the sweat soaked blonde hair sprawled over her naked skin. "You're amazing Spencer." She grinned watching her blonde lover kiss up her quivering midriff. "I love you." She murmured once their faces were inches apart. "I love you too." Spencer breathed, kissing her firmly. The kiss was short lived and ended soon. Spencer kissed her chin lightly and then rested her head on her lover's chest, closing her eyes, she felt a cool blanket being spread over her heated body, followed by Ashley's loving hands running up and down her back.

She fell asleep smiling, but the nap was short lived. The cool sheets over their bodies, plus the skin on skin contact, resulted in more love making. The two stopped once exhaustion took over, forcing them to sleep.

----------

Staring at the large double doors he had picked out a lifetime ago, Pops was regretting ever showing up there. Visiting his ex wife was not something he planned. While on the plane, his thoughts had drifted to Brenda. Since he was going to be working on his will, he wanted to know if she wanted anything from him. Once upon a time, they were in love and he made stupid promises to be together forever. His drug addiction ruined those promises, ruined his life. He knew Brenda in high school, she supported his career, they were in love, everything seemed so perfect, but then he got caught up in his fame and hurt the brunette. Raising his hand, Pops knocked firmly on the door and waited anxiously for his ex wife to answer. It had been over 10 years since they last saw each other. Brenda looked better than ever. Her face had matured along with her age, she was still very slim and healthy looking.

Standing at the doorway wearing a black sundress and scandals, the phone in the brunette's hand fell as she caught sight of her ex husband.

"Crap." Brenda hissed picking up her cell phone and bringing it back to her ear. Her eyes stayed glued to her ex husband's face. He looked nervous and out of place, "Um, yeah. I'm going to have to call you back. No….everything is fine, it's just, there's someone at the door. Okay..alrighty…bye." Brenda closed her phone and cleared her throat lightly. It was then she noticed the rest of her ex husband's attire. The black suite seemed depressing, she wondered… "Is Ashley alright?" She blurted out with concern. Why else would Raife be at her door step if it didn't concern Ashley? She was the only thing that still linked them together. "You told me I would hear from her today, she never called. Is she okay?"

Raife got over his shock and most of his nervousness. "Ashley is fine." He answered simply. "I don't know why she hasn't called you yet. She told me she was going to." He ran his hand through his combed hair. "I came here to discuss some things with you. You're not busy are you?" He asked quietly. Brenda shook her head and opened the door wider, beckoning him to come in.

Raife smiled briefly and then stepped into his former home. Everything looked brand new and redone. He wondered if Brenda redid it all to forget him. He looked at her and then said, "Place looks nice." He then saw a nice picture of her and her current husband at the beach with Kyla in the middle. They all looked so happy- that could have easily been him and Ashley hugging Brenda on the beach. He internally chastised himself for thinking so foolishly. "How's Kyla…and Tom?" He asked after a beat, meeting his ex lover's eyes.

"They're doing great." Brenda answered briefly. She just wanted the blonde manager to leave, he was making her nervous. "Follow me into the den, we can talk there." Raife agreed and followed her to the back of the house. They sat on different love seats, Pops leaned back against the elegant material and crossed one leg over the other. "I'm working on my Will later on today. I just wanted to see if you needed anything from me. I already have a few millions in store for you, but I wanted to talk to you personally about anything else you might want. Another house, maybe a couple of cars-"

"Raife." Brenda sighed, cutting him off. "Why are you really here?"

"I already told you." The blonde haired man frowned. "I'm working on my will-"

"Why? I'm sure you've got more important things to worry about at the moment. In fact, isn't Ashley on tour?"

"Yes. But there are even bigger things I have to worry about. Like, how am I going to stay alive?" The last part was said somewhat playfully but it still confused Brenda. "I'm sick." He said on a more serous note. He shrugged at Brenda's surprised expression. "I should have listened to you along time ago."

"What are you talking about?" She questioned softly, eyeing him confusedly. "Sick? How are you sick? Raife don't mess with my mind, just give me straight answers."

"Okay Ren." He fingered his shoe nervously as he spoke. "I have heart problems, major ones that could possibly kill me. The doctors say cocaine is most likely to blame for it all." He smiled sadly. "I should have listened when you begged me to stop." He shrugged. "Now it's too late."

"Oh Raife." Brenda gasped, moving to the seat next to him, she took one of his hands in both of hers, staring intently into his eyes. It was like they were newlyweds again, all the emotions that filled the other's eyes, it was almost too much. Brenda ignored her racing heart and squeezed her ex husband's hand. "You'll be okay, right? Please tell me it's not as bad as your making it out to be."

"Does it matter?" He questioned softly.

"Of course it does!" She exclaimed abruptly. "Raife I know we didn't have the happiest marriage, but that doesn't mean I don't care if you lived or died." She released his hand and folded hers on her lap. "How is Ashley taking it?" She wondered concerned.

Raife snorted. "She's happy for me."

"This isn't a joke, Raife." She said somewhat angrily.

The blonde haired man stared at her seriously. "I'm not joking. Ashley sees this as an early Christmas present." The honest words confused the brunette. Pops saw her confusion and then realization struck. She had no idea how fucked up their relationship was. "Ashley hasn't mentioned us to you, has she?" He mused out loud, further confusing his ex wife. "You don't know, do you?"

"You're not making any sense." She snapped, "What are you talking about?"

Pops stood up and stared down at his ex wife. "Ashley hates me. She always has always will-"

"That can't be." Brenda stated abruptly, thinking of the hundreds of articles, pictures, and interviews of them. They loved each other dearly. "I've read almost everything on you two. Ashley loves you-"

The manager laughed bitterly. "We've lied to the media over the years, Ashley hates me, I've treated her like crap, and she has every right to hate me." He scratched the back of his neck. "I've fucked up big time with her." He confessed sadly. "It's just, after the divorce, I was angry at you Brenda- I wanted to get back at you for ruining me…" He trailed off noticing the horrific look on her face. "I probably shouldn't say anymore." He looked down at his watch. "Maybe I should just leave."

Brenda immediately stood up and stared incredulously at the man she used to love. She stared intently at him, a million questions running through her head. "Are you to blame for how she is, Rafeal? Did you drive our daughter to…to drugs and," She stopped when he looked away, staring sorrowfully at the ground. "Oh God." She brought a hand over her lips in shock. "What have you done? Why didn't you ever tell me! I would have taken her back, I would have loved her, I…I would have saved her from you, but I thought she was happy with you- I thought you wanted her. I…I thought…. Wrong. Didn't I?" She collapsed on the couch and stared numbly at the quiet man standing before her.

_The rock star sat cross legged on the thin cotton blanket. His eyes, shielded by sunglass, stared up into the gorgeous blue sky. The day was completely clear, warm and perfect. He could hear the busy activity of the park; kids laughing, dogs barking, men running, he could even make out a soccer game not far from where he sat. He tilted his head down and leaned heavily against the large tree that provided their shade. The spot he had chosen was wonderfully secluded, he wasn't in the mood for autographs so he chose the most faraway and inactive part of the park for him and his family to sit and relax. _

_His lovely wife sat cross-legged away from him, her arms full with their wonderful 1 year old daughter. The tiny baby lied against her mother nursing hungrily with her brown eyes closed. "She's growing up fast." Raife observed with surprise. He was starting to regret all the time he spent touring, months away from his family was becoming devastating. He was missing watching his beautiful daughter grow up. "Man she's so beautiful." _

_Brenda stared lovingly down at her child as her fingers absently stroked her short brunette hair. "Do you even remember her name Raife?" Brenda sighed as she looked up into her husband's face. She knew he was still using drugs, it bothered her, but she never really questioned him about it. Until now. _

_The blonde haired rock star nodded his head. "Of course I do." He answered slightly appalled. "Ashley Camryn Davies. Why such a stupid question?" He asked defensively. His relationship with his wife was quickly spiraling downward. It scared him. Brenda was the love of his life, he loved her more than anything else in the world. More than anyone else. _

"_I found so much coke in your luggage, Raife. You promised me you would quit once Ashley was born." She looked back down at her baby. "She's over a year old now, why haven't you stopped yet?" She asked softly, her eyes never leaving her daughter's precious face. _

_Raife shrugged and looked down. "I don't know. It's hard to stop, Ren. I don't think I can." _

_Brenda looked angrily up at him. "You just can't keep using, Raife. Think about Ashley, your career, for Christ's sake, what about me? I can't keep doing this if you're going to choose cocaine over us. It's made you into a cheating, lying, asshole."_

_The rock star tensed at his wife's angry tone. "Cheating?" He asked barely above a whisper. He wondered how much his wife knew about his groupie obsession. They didn't mean anything to him, they were just fun to play with while high. _

"_Yes." she smiled bitterly. "Cheating. I know you're sleeping around on tour. You're clothes reek of cheap whores and almost everything you own is covered in make up." She fought hard to keep her tears at bay. She did love Raife, but he was hurting her in so many different ways. She knew it was only a matter of time before she acted on filing for divorce. The thought of hurting the man she loved so much was overwhelming. She knew she was Raife's world, everything he did revolved around her, his heart was hers and she was going to break it. She looked away from concerned brown eyes and stared down at Ashley. Her eyes were wide open now, she was so beautiful and sweet, Brenda knew letting her go would be unbearable, but Raife needed his daughter's love more than she did to get him through the divorce. It would surely kill the blonde haired man to lose Brenda, but maybe Ashley will keep him from breaking down. Maybe she will convince him to stop using cocaine, something she had failed to do. _

_Bending down, Brenda spoke softly for Ashley's ears only. "I love you my beautiful daughter." She kissed her cheek softly and then looked up at her husband. _

_The blonde haired man had a bitter look on his face, he was angry as he stared into her face. For a moment, she wondered if he knew of her plans. "I'm tired." She confessed honestly. "I think it's time we go home." _

_The rock star nodded and stood up, helping his wife and daughter up, they all walked silently to the car. Raife needing cocaine, and Brenda needing to rest. She just wanted to put her husband out of her mind. His crazy behavior was stressful, she just wanted all the madness to end. _

"How could you hurt your own daughter so badly?!" She demanded with tears building in her eyes. "She was supposed to help you through the divorce! I loved you so much that I sacrificed my daughter just so you can survive our divorce. Survive me breaking your heart," She closed her eyes and allowed the tears to run down her face. "What went wrong?"

"I was so angry at you Ren." He confessed quietly. "Nothing mattered to me after the divorce, I only took Ashley so you couldn't have her. I saw how much you loved her and it bothered me. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me." He hesitated before continuing. "After the divorce, I just gave Ashley to nannies, and then taught her how to play guitar when she was old enough to learn. I realized she could continue my career and become a great guitar player. I made her a rock star and she made me money." He went into further detail; telling his ex every reason why Ashley hated him now. "Now she hates my guts and is happy I'm dying. I'm sorry." He added in a small voice. "I'm just realizing how bad I fucked up, how stupid I've been, and I'm paying the ultimate price. The doctors don't think I'll live much longer." His own tears fell silently down his face. "I want to make things better, I want to die knowing we're okay, but I know that will never happen. It's too late for that. I'm already dead to her."

"Oh Raife…" She breathed, finding the whole situation horrifying. "How could you do that to her!" She demanded angrily stalking up to him. "Do you remember the reason why we got divorced? You wouldn't stop doing drugs and fucking whores. You ruined our marriage, not Ashley. It's not fair that she was tortured because of it." She pushed him angrily away from her. "She's your daughter, you selfish bastard, are you demented? Sick in the head? Normal people don't purposely ruin their children's lives, and when they do mess up, they fix things- I can't believe you." She seethed. "I always thought Ashley was spoiled, and did drugs for the fun of it, but now I know the truth." She pounded his chest hard, needing to release some of the anger she was feeling. "My oldest daughter does drugs to make the life she shares with you more bearable! How do you live with yourself Raife?" She was beyond disgusted with the blonde haired man. "How do you live with yourself!" She demanded again with venom dripping off her every word.

Raife stood speechless staring into her angry face. He had never seen her so angry before, it really made him think. And his thoughts brought on a tidal wave of emotions that flooded him with guilt, shame, and regret. "I'm sorry." He said lamely, not knowing what else to say. There was nothing he could say that would make everything alright, it would never be alright.

Ashley would never be alright.

----------

After waking up, Ashley and Spencer had spent a good amount of time in bed; talking softly, kissing leisurely and caressing boldly. They eventually got out of bed and Spencer immediately suggested they shower on the bus. Ashley easily agreed and followed her blonde lover into the bathroom. "You're kidding me." She told her reflection in the mirror. Her brown eyes stayed glued to the large hickey on her neck. She looked over at Spencer and didn't miss her attempt to hold back a chuckle. "You're getting really good at these." She looked back at her reflection. "I swear this one almost spells out 'Property of Spencer.'"

Spencer smiled over at her. "Well at least I'm honest." She teased, walking over to the grinning rock star. She wrapped her arms around Ashley from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder, eyeing their reflection. "Do they bother you, Ashley?" She seriously asked, moving her gaze down to the dark bruise.

Ashley immediately shook her head and leaned back against the blonde. "Not at all, I love belonging to you." A smile lined her lips as she turned her head. Spencer laughed softly as she kissed her inviting lips. "Have you thought about where you want to eat yet?" The rock star asked as she faced her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around her neck she added, "I'm buying."

Spencer kissed her again and shook her head. "I'll think of something." She said, slowly walking them backwards. "Oh this feels so good." She moaned as she stepped into the shower, the warm water caressing her tired muscles. "mmm don't you just love this?" She asked darkening eyes.

"Mmhmm." Ashley hummed smiling into her lover's gray orbs while running her fingers through dampening blonde hair. Spencer's hands were running up and down her naked sides, the closeness of their bodies was having an affect on both of them. Ashley's hand merged further into flawless honey locks until tanned fingers curved around the back of her head. "Everything feels good when I'm with you." She whispered, gently hauling her lover's wet body against her chest. "Everything." She dipped her head and captured her lover's lips, kissing her with heated intensity, she began running her tongue along her lover's bottom lip, they parted instinctively and both teens moaned when Ashley's tongue entered her mouth. Tongues played as hands roamed, groped, and stroked.

"Ashley…" Spencer pleaded between kisses, "Mmm, Baby we should stop." She moaned feeling a rough hand knead her breast as Ashley pressed her up against the cold shower wall. Ashley heard the plea and moved her hand down gentle curves. Her head came up and rested against Spencer's. She gently took her smooth chin between her thumb and forefinger and began caressing the soft skin, her dark brown eyes boring into gray with intensity that left the blonde speechless. "Do you really want me to stop?" She asked softly, barely above a whisper as her fingers trailed down the column of her neck, stopping at her pulse point, Ashley felt her lover's heart race incredibly fast against her fingertips. She leaned forward and brushed her lips against a sensitive ear, "Can you refuse me?" Her warm breath sent shivers down the blonde's spine, her head immediately shook as Ashley began sensually kneading her breast again. The rock star's head jerked back, she met desire filled gray eyes, "Why not?" She breathed as the hands on the blonde's body became more insistent, her right cupping and squeezing her breast while the other stroked up and down her quivering abs. "I need you." Spencer said softly, the honesty in her voice going straight to the rock star's heart, the strong muscle fluttered as she pressed her lips against Spencer's.

All conversation stopped, replaced by raging teenage passion.

----------

Her fingers moved quickly over the taunt strings. The music that emitted from the guitar was easily recognized by everyone in the room. A couple of people began whistling as their heads bobbed up and down to the music. "Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh" Ashley grinned as her fingers showed no mercy on the strings. "Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh, More loneliness than any man could bear, Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh." Brown eyes stayed glued to her fingers as she sang. She could feel everyone's on her, it didn't bother her, just sent a wave of adrenalin through her. The tempo of the song quickened as she got to the chorus. "Ill send an s.o.s. to the world, Ill send an s.o.s. to the world…"

Spencer stood staring at her lover. They were backstage waiting to play their next show. Tables of food surrounded the large backstage room. It was full of people, some Spencer knew, some she was seeing for the first time. They all watched her lover play and sing from the corner of the room. She sat comfortably on a chair with her acoustic guitar over her lap. Her voice filled the room beautifully.

"What a show off."

Spencer's head snapped over to the brunette standing beside her. Her facial expression was nothing less of disdain. "She's amazing." She disagreed calmly. She sensed Darcey didn't like Ashley very much. She didn't understand why, but it was obvious. Spencer just ignored most of the smart remarks and bitter comments directed towards her lover. They bothered her, but she didn't want to fight with Aiden's girl.

Darcey met Spencer's gaze and rolled her eyes. "Oh please, she's just an attention whore." She remembered her trip to Tampa. "And a rich bitch." She listened to the rock star's lyrics and rolled her eyes again. "She's so damn emo-" 

"Darcey." Spencer interrupted firmly. "Please keep in mind that I live with Ashley and care about her." She smiled when Ashley's brown eyes found hers. "I don't feel you know her well enough to judge her."

The brunette looked from Spencer to Ashley. The looks and smiles they gave each other were too intimate to just be friendly. "It's true." She gasped in shock. Spencer looked at her. "Aiden told me last night, I thought he was joking- he wasn't. You guys are together!" She hissed somewhat appalled.

Spencer was starting to question her ex boyfriend's abilities to keep secrets. First AJ, now Darcey, she wondered when her mother would find out. "I really don't want to talk about it here." She looked at the brunette. "It's kind of crowded."

The brunette ignored her words. "H-how could you do this?" She asked quietly, a confused look sprawled over her face. "Aiden has told me wonderful church stories about you two…how did this happen?"

"Do you have a problem with my relationship with Ashley?" She asked just as quietly. Her eyes bore intensely into hazel as she waited for an answer.

Darcey couldn't believe what she was seeing. Spencer looked offended and hurt. "Spencer it doesn't matter what I think." She said slowly. "God is who I follow, and he believes same sex relationships are sin." She sighed apologetically. "I'm a follower of God…" She trailed off and stared helplessly at Spencer.

'I am too!' The words were on the tip of her tongue, but then died. She was a heavy Christian back in Ohio, along with her mother and the rest of her family, but she wasn't sure if she had the right to say that now. After everything she had done with Ashley. Hearing Darcey's words and uneasiness about homosexuality was a wake up call for her. So far, everyone she had come across was okay with Ashley being a lesbian. Spencer never really gave thought to the people who were against it. How would she handle them? And then there was her relationship with God. Where did she stand with that? "Um…" She was speechless as she stared into Darcey's face.

"….A year has passed since I wrote my note, But I should have known this right from the start, Only hope can keep me together. Love can mend your life but Love can break your heart." Ashley continued to play and sing as she watched Spencer and Darcey. They both looked uneasy, especially Spencer. The rock star didn't like what she was seeing. There was something troubling her lover and it made her nervous.

Darcey saw the confusion on her blonde companion's face and felt bad for her. "Hey," She touched her shoulder sympathetically. "God will forgive you." She looked away. "But you can't keep seeing her."

"I love her." Spencer argued weakly. "I can't just stop seeing her."

"…Every time I see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray. I'm waiting for that final moment, You'll say the words that I can't say…" Everyone in the room erupted in cheers and whistled at the abrupt change in songs. It was amazing how Ashley transitioned from playing one song to another. Dark brown orbs gazed loving into gray as tanned fingers continued playing. A smile graced the rock star's lips when Spencer mouthed 'I love you.'

"I can't stop seeing her." The blonde said smiling back at her lover. She met Darcey's disappointed gaze. "I'm sorry you find it so wrong, but she's everything to me."

Darcey shrugged. "It's not if I find it wrong or right that matters." Was all she said before walking off.

Spencer looked back at Ashley and continued watching her play. She wanted to believe that Darcey's words didn't bother her, but the truth was… they were all she could think of.

----------

The dark scenery out the window whooshed by as the limo headed back to the hotel. Ashley and Spencer sat in the far corner, away from everyone else, cuddling. Ashley watched Spencer's hand rub circles on her stomach in the darkness. She was somewhat worried about her girlfriend. She had been quiet since leaving the concert hall. Ashley wanted to believe she was just tired, but couldn't. "It's wonderful outside." She said softly near her ear. "Such a beautiful night."

Snapped out of her deep thoughts, Spencer looked up at her lover. Her head was turned the other way now, eyes out the window. Spencer followed her gaze and realized it was raining. Hard. The wind was frightening, blowing loudly all around them, lightening was the only light that could be seen. She remembered they were in Oklahoma and feared tornadoes. "It's horrible out there." She waited for the rock star to look at her before continuing. "How do you find it beautiful?" She softly asked moving her hand up to play with her lover's hair.

"I'm not sure." Ashley confessed sheepishly. "I've always enjoyed heavy rain- it scares me sometimes, I enjoy the rush. It feels good, especially without coke." The corner of her mouth tilted up. "I'm turning into an adrenaline junkie."

Spencer could hear the playfulness in her voice and decided to play along. "Does that mean you'll be jumping out of planes soon?"

"Sure." The rock star answered easily. "But you'll have to come with me."

Spencer immediately shook her head. "I'm sorry but you're on your own on that one. Not even in my wildest dreams do I see myself doing that." Her hand dropped as she rested her head on Ashley's shoulder. The rock star wrapped an arm around her and nestled her cheek against soft blonde hair.

"I'm going to church with you." Ashley chuckled. "How fair is that?"

"You're right, let me make up to you." Spencer playfully nipped and sucked at her neck while her hand slipped under her shirt, teasing warm skin. "Feeling better?" She mumbled against her skin.

"Much." Ashley smiled kissing the top of her head. "Now when are we jumping out of an plane?"

Spencer groaned and buried her face in her neck, regretting ever mentioning it. Ashley was starting to sound serious. "We're not." She said sounding equally serious. The thought of Ashley jumping out of plane scared her too death, it was more disturbing than the thought of her jumping out. "How about we spend all day at an amusement park instead? I can do rollercoaster's."

"It's not the same." Ashley sighed, determined to talk her blonde lover into it. "I'm so bored of coaster's, you know? I've ridden so many….there isn't much of a rush anymore." And then a thought occurred to her. "But if you really want to go to an amusement park, I can have Rachael arrange something." She smirked. "You can choose any place in the world and I'll take you there."

The blonde knew her girlfriend's words were true. Ashley could take her anywhere in the world, buy her anything she wanted, and still have enough money to buy everything she wanted until the day she died. "You're worth more than the millions in your bank account." She caressed her face and kissed the corner of her mouth. "Being in your arms is enough for me. It's where I want to be forever."

"My arms over Paris, Rome, and New York?" She asked softly, "Are you sure your as smart as you say?" She joked tightening her arms around the blonde. Spencer melted against her lover and kissed her skin softly. The car was too dark for anyone else to see them, and they spoke too softly to be heard, providing them with the privacy they craved.

"No," She chuckled near her lover's ear. "I'm a stupid blonde who can't resist her rock star." She nibbled on a soft earlobe while running her fingertips over tanned abs. It tickled but Ashley ignored the sensation and fought back her laughter.

"If that's the case then I must be the biggest dumb ass in the world," She smiled widely when Spencer pulled away and met her gaze. "because you're all I think about."

Spencer cupped the rock star's smooth face and their lips brushed softly. Ashley didn't have much time to enjoy the sweet gesture, the lights came on and she immediately jerked back. The limo stopped and the two teens received amused looks from everyone around them. Clearing her throat, Ashley sat up and straightened her clothes. She looked over and caught Spencer doing the same thing. The only difference was the blonde was blushing furiously. "Don't feel embarrassed, they've all seen me with women before."

Spencer's hands nearly shook as she pulled her shirt down, it had ridden up above her bellybutton from Ashley caressing her back. She and Aiden never had problems being intimate in front of friends, family, and strangers, but for some reason, it made Spencer nervous to be seen that way with Ashley. "It's not the same Ashley." She mumbled. "We should be more…subtle in public. It's not very professional to make out in front of everyone we know."

Ashley looked at the other end of the hummer and watched Glen slide out the door. He was the last person to leave, leaving Spencer and Ashley alone. "You and Aiden did it all the time." She murmured softly looking into her lover's eyes.

There was no anger pooling in gentle brown eyes, just confusion and hurt. "Ashley," Spencer took her hand and caressed tanned skin nervously. "I have to get used to this Baby." Gray eyes begged Ashley to understand. Being with another girl was new to her, she didn't know how to react to people staring at them. "I'm not ashamed of you, please don't think that, it's just I'm new to this- I just need time." She added helplessly, not knowing what else to say. Everything Darcey had told her affected her thinking, her emotions were confusing her.

Ashley saw her troubled expression and pulled her into her arms. "It's okay Spencer." She soothed near her ear. "I'll be patient." Relieved by the rock star's loving words, Spencer melted into her embrace and held on tightly, never wanting to let Ashley go.

"Hey, how does a movie sound?" Ashley asked after a brief moment of silence. She wanted to have fun with the blonde, nothing sexual, just plain old clean fun. "I have a ton of DVD's I haven't seen yet. We can get some popcorn, hangout in the suite, and watch a couple of them." Her fingertips trailed up and down the small of her back as she waited for an answer. She didn't have to wait long. Spencer easily agreed and they left the limo, in search of the tour bus.

_She had them apple bottom jeans (jeans)  
Boots with the fur (with the fur)  
The whole club was lookin at her  
She hit the flo (she hit the flo)  
Next thing u kno  
Shawty got low low low low low low low low  
Them baggy sweat pants  
And the reeboxs with the straps (with the straps)  
She turned around and gave that big booty a slap (heeeey)  
She hit the flo (she hit the flo)  
Next thing u kno  
Shawty got low low low low low low low low_

Spencer sat on the living room floor as Ashley changed in the master bedroom. After finding the bus, they found a box of movies and headed to the suite, intent on watching a couple of them. After entering the large suite, Ashley called Rachael and asked for popcorn. Now the radio played softly in the room, filling the blonde's ears as she sat cross-legged on the floor, digging through the box of movies, Spencer found a lot of them interesting. They weren't modern, but they still looked good. She glanced at the dates on a couple of them was surprised to see '1964, 1972, 1960' and so on. "Ashley, whose old movies are these?" She called out from the living room.

"Mine, Boo." Ashley answered sweetly from the other room. "I collected them as a kid."

Spencer chuckled and shook her head from side to side, her eyes reading the small summary for the 'Amityville Horror." "Why didn't you collect Disney movies like other kids?" She asked playfully putting the old horror film back in the box. "I promise you their just as good."

Ashley walked out of the room and entered the kitchen. "I have a couple of Disney movies." A thought occurred to her. "I think I grabbed the wrong box. Are those only my classics?" She asked opening the fridge. Her throat was dry and she was in desperate need of a drink. At Spencer's 'yes' she sighed. "Sorry I assumed that was newer stuff. I can go back and find the other box."

"It's fine."

The words were reassuring, making Ashley feel better. She felt like a moron for grabbing a box of movies Spencer didn't want to see. "Hey Spence, would you like a Pepsi?" She asked grabbing a cold blue can. Her taste buds craved Vodka, but she ignored them knowing Spencer wouldn't be too happy if she got drunk. At Spencer's 'yes Baby' she grabbed a second can and then walked out of the kitchen. "Find anything good ?" She settled next to her blonde lover and placed the drinks on the floor.

Spencer read another summary and then glanced over at the rock star. "Ashley!" She fingered the animated pajama pants she was wearing while staring playfully into a grinning face. "These look a lot like my pants." She mused not upset, just amused. It actually flattered her to see Ashley wear her clothes. It showed her that the rock star was comfortable with her.

"They looked warm," Ashley shrugged a little and then stared down at the Aeropostale pants covering her legs. They were white with black pandas and bluer stars everywhere. They nicely matched the black tank top she wore. "Who makes these?" She asked looking up. "I must buy more. What size are you? I'll buy you some too."

"They're Aeropastale and I'm sure we're the same size." She eyed her lover from head to toe. "Actually you're a bit smaller than me, but I don't think it matters if you're getting Pajama pants." Spencer stood up with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "I think I'll get ready for bed now. Don't follow or we may never get out." She added playfully.

Ashley reluctantly nodded as she watched her lover leave the room. She wanted to watch her undress, but knew that wasn't very wise. When it came to Spencer, she had problems controlling certain urges. Smirking, Ashley focused on the movies and picked up a couple. She had seen them all already, but didn't mind watching one over. Some of them were really entertaining, especially a couple of the comedies.

"Hey Baby lets play some pool."

Ashley turned her head and brown eyes widened when they caught sight of her lover. The blonde stood near the pool table, examining the stick, she wore a white tank top and short boxer shorts that stopped mid thigh. Ashley easily recognized the shorts and shirt as hers. Only difference was the length of her shirt. Spencer had cut the white material to stop just above her bellybutton, showing off her sleek midriff. "Are you sure you want me over there with you dressed like that? I highly doubt we'll get far in the game…"

Spencer met her gaze and smiled. "Don't be silly, you won't get all hot and bothered knowing Rachael will be here soon." She walked over to the rack on the wall and grabbed a stick for Ashley.

Don't be so sure about that Spence, Ashley thought while watching the blonde grab a small chalk cube. The white shirt was see through and there was no bra present, the sight made Ashley tingle. "You seriously think Rachael's going to keep me from having you?" She grabbed their Pepsi's and stood up. "You, my Dear, must not know me that well." She leaned over and kissed her lips lightly. "You're probably going to beat me; I'm not that great at this game." She accepted the stick Spencer offered her and then placed it aside to open her soft drink.

Spencer rubbed the small green chalk at the end of her stick and then handed the small cube over to Ashley. She didn't believe Ashley's last statement. Staring into dark brown eyes, she assumed Ashley was an amazing pool player and was being modest. "Uh huh." She poked her upper arm. "I'll believe it when I see it."

Ashley smiled while placing the green chalk against the end of her stick. "I know you will." She glanced up at the blonde and watched her open her Pepsi and take a healthy swallow. "Spencer I seriously suck at pool."

Placing the cold blue can on the side of the table, Spencer hummed 'Mmhmm' and then set up the balls in the middle of the table. Ashley just shrugged to herself and drank her Pepsi, enjoying her lover's ass in her short boxers. "I'm sure we can find another use for this pool table…" Ashley stopped talking when the blonde sent her a mean glare. "Sorry." She mumbled against the rim of her can.

"Don't feel bad Baby." Spencer said arranging the balls inside the triangle. "I was thinking the same thing when I first saw it." She admitted with a blush.

Ashley found her reddened cheeks adorable, she couldn't help but push the subject. "since we both want to, why don't we?" She wondered casually, her eyes moving to her lover's bare abdomen. The creamy skin covering smooth muscles called out to her, begging to be licked and sucked.

"I swear your worst than a teenage boy." Spencer teased rolling the triangle up and down the green velvet material.

"Well it's not my fault you're so damn sexy." Ashley smirked as her eyes roamed over her perfect body. "You're not doing a good job hiding it now."

Spencer rolled her eyes and stood up straight. "Just for that, I'm breaking first."

Ashley grinned. "Be my guest, I'll have a better view of what lies beneath my shorts."

Spencer playfully smacked her butt as she walked to the other end of the table. "For luck Baby." She explained to the amused rock star.

"Do I get anything for luck?" Ashley asked with a playful pout. "I'm the one who can't play." A smile formed over her face. "Maybe a little peck from your lips will help." She added suggestively.

Spencer easily agreed and placed the pool stick in her hand on the table. Walking up to her girlfriend, she wrapped her arms around Ashley's neck. "Good luck Baby." She kissed her lips firmly and then moved back to the pool table. Grabbing her stick, she leaned forward and professionally positioned her hands on the long wood. "You're going to need it." She told her girlfriend, hitting the white ball firmly, she sent two balls into a nearby pocket. "Yay, I'm solids, you're stripes."

"I'm dead." Ashley mumbled watching her lover sink two more balls. "How'd you get so good at this?" She asked positioning herself over the pool table. Her target was a yellow striped ball.

Spencer shrugged. "My Dad and uncles play it all the time. I'm just an easy learner." The blonde watched Ashley with amusement and surveyed her stance. It was horrible. Her posture was disappointing and the hands on the stick were misplaced. She was starting to take Ashley's earlier words into consideration. She did suck at pool.

"Oops." Ashley chuckled watching the white ball fly off the table.

"I saw that coming." Spencer giggled while picking up the white ball. "Is this your first time playing?" She placed the ball back on the table and then met her lover's eyes.

Ashley shook her head no. "This is my 4th time playing, but I was high the last three games…" And practically having sex with two other women. "I don't think they count." She added sheepishly.

Spencer got behind Ashley and placed her hands on her hips. "Spread your legs Baby." She commanded near her ear, sending a delicious shiver down the auburn haired teen's spine. Ashley did so and felt her breath hitch when she felt Spencer's body mold up against hers from behind. The rock star knew the blonde was just helping her with her posture, but feeling her lover's breasts against her back was becoming a huge turn on. "Now your hands go like this," Spencer guided her hands on the pool stick and then placed her chin on a tanned shoulder. "Is that yellow ball your target," She softly asked near her ear, earning her a quick nod, she pushed further into the rock star and then firmly commanded shoot. Ashley hit the ball and watched it zip through the table before falling into a hole.

Spencer kissed the side of her neck and then moved away from her, crossing her arms over taunt pink nipples, she nearly groaned at the pounding between her legs. "I-I think you should try the next one on your own." She stated flustered with a heavy blush.

Ashley didn't even try to hide her disappointment. "Can I at least thank you for the lesson?" At Spencer's nod, Ashley walked up to her and got down on her knees. "Thank you," She murmured placing wet kisses on her bare abdomen. Nipping around the blonde's navel, Ashley felt her lover's hands in her hair and moaned when she began lightly pulling at it.

"Ashley, you're welcome." She laughed trying to get her lover's mouth off her body. Her body temperature rose with each flick of her lover's tongue, the cold barbell driving her crazy. "It's your turn Baby."

Ashley groaned and ran her hands up naked sides as she stood up. "Fine." She mumbled and then kissed her cheek. "To be continued?" She asked hopefully.

Spencer smiled teasingly. "Only if you win." She chuckled at the rock star's outraged expression and kissed her pouting lips. "Just pray I go easy on you." She patted her tanned cheek lightly. "Now go."

Ashley groaned as she leaned over the green table. Eyeing the purple striped ball, she did everything her lover told her and missed her target. "I think it only works when your body's against mine." Ashley straightened up and looked over at Spencer. "Your nipples must be magic." She added with a playful grin, drinking more Pepsi as she watched Spencer hit the white ball. It hit a nearby pink and sunk it.

Spencer arched her back, closed her eyes and cupped her breasts, moaning, "They are magic."

Ashley's demeanor seemed cool and calm as she watched her lover play with herself; internally she was a mess of raging hormones wanting to pounce on the blonde. The soft noises, her facial expression, and the hands moving on her breasts were turning her on. "Stand still," Ashley commanded watching gray eyes open, she grabbed the white material of her shirt and ripped it open. "I'll buy you another one." She told her shocked lover as tanned hands began kneading her breasts, hearing Spencer's breathing hitch, Ashley pinched her nipples while running her tongue over the creamy skin on her neck.

Spencer fought back a shiver as her nailed buried in Ashley's back. "I was just teasing you." She moaned into her lover's ear.

Ashley smirked against her skin. "Now I'm teasing you."

Blunts nails scratched down a tanned back as Spencer pulled back, sticking her tongue out at the rock star, she turned around and went back to her pool stick. Ashley sighed and grabbed her Pepsi. She watched Spencer get ready to make another shot and smiled to herself. Staring down at her clothes, she grabbed the elastic on her hips and pulled them down, kicking the panda pants off her feet, she did the same with her shirt. Wearing a black lace bra and matching underwear, Ashley eased herself on the other end of the table and began sensually arching her back, her eyes seductively boring into gray as she stroked down her body. "Good luck Baby." She purred using her lover's previous used words.

Spencer's eyes ran down the length of her tanned body. A light sheen of sweat covered her exposed skin, the moisture was easily seen over taunt abs, distracting the blonde. "I can't concentrate." She said standing straight. "How am I supposed to win with you li-like that." She stammered watching a tanned hand slip under lace panties. "Ashley." She swallowed hard watching the hand move under the light material.

"It's still your turn Spencer." The rock star moaned, "Just make your move already." Brown eyes closed, moist lips parted, and thighs quivered as Ashley's hand moved relentlessly between her legs. The feeling was beyond extraordinary. She was never big on masturbating, but now, feeling her fingers over her clit, she realized what she was missing out on. It wasn't as good as Spencer, but it was still good.

The skin on her right breast tickled, Ashley opened her eyes and her hazy gaze landed on Spencer. She stood on her hands and knees on the pool table, her finger outlining the barrier between a warm mouth and her aroused nipple. "Mantenga ir, quítelo apenas." The rock star moaned as the black material was lifted off her breast, revealing a hardened bud.

Dipping her head, Spencer took the dark nipple into her mouth while listening to her lover's foreign words. They were sensual, laced with pleasure and desperate. The pleasure increased in her tone as she sucked and licked the sensitive bud, pulling back to run her lips over it, she ran her fingers over a tanned arm and stroked the skin above lace panties. She could feel Ashley's hand movements and moaned against her lover's breast, the sensation caused the rock star's hips to jerk, Spencer knew she was close. Releasing her breast, Spencer moved up and dipped her head, kissing the rock star roughly, she swallowed her cries as she came.

Brown eyes fluttered open when she felt her wrist being taken. Ashley watched the blonde intently as she brought her hand up to her mouth. Gray eyes stared into hooded brown as pink lips parted and wrapped around a desire coated fingertip. The blonde's eyes closed as she enjoyed the taste of her lover, she dipped her head and took more of the tanned digit in her mouth, moaning in delight.

Ashley found the scene highly erotic, the pounding between her legs was back and all she wanted to do was ease her arousal. "Come to bed with me." She begged between ragged breaths. "I want to make love to you." She told opening gray eyes.

Staring into flushed tanned skin, hooded brown eyes, and catching a glimpse of her lover's tongue ring, Spencer couldn't agree fast enough. All thoughts of movies, popcorn, and Rachael died when they entered the master bedroom.

----------

Darcey sat on the bed watching her boyfriend flip through a magazine. Rolling Stone. She rolled her eyes. He read too much for her taste. "I really want to do something. Go out or something."

Aiden turned his head and met her gaze. "Why can't just go out Darce." He looked back at his magazine. "I'm still deeply in love with Spencer to the rest of the world. I can't mess that up." He flipped another page and began scanning a paragraph.

The brunette sank down in the bed and snuggled against a pillow. "How long do we have to put up with this?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Until one of us gets caught. It's complicated."

"You were right about Ashley and Spencer." She ran her finger up his bicep. "It worries me."

"Why?"

"Aiden it's wrong." The frown that formed over his lips almost made her shut up. "In God's eyes." She added defensively. "You should know that, you said you went to church."

He sighed. "I know but I don't think it's wrong. It's love." He looked at her. "What Spencer feels for Ashley is what I feel for you, how can that be wrong?"

Darcey rolled her eyes. "It's not the same and Spencer knows it. I had a talk with her-"

"Darcey I really think you should stay out of it. If you're trying to talk Spencer into leaving Ashley then you're wasting your time."

The brunette frowned. "How?"

"Let me put it this way." He started with a chuckle. "I grew up with Spencer, she's been my best friend since forever, when we started going out we were both deeply in love with each other. I was already planning out our wedding. And then she comes on tour, meets Ashley and everything goes downhill from there. Spencer isn't someone that will just cheat, it's painful and mean and not her, I just think anyone who can get her to do that deserves her. Ashley did the impossible and won Spencer. I highly doubt they'll throw away their relationship for you."

"Well hopefully her mother thinks the same way you do. I'll stay out of their business Denny but I'm telling you now, their little fling is going to ruin their relation ship with their families. There were these two girls in church that fooled around, got caught, and I haven't seen them since."

Aiden threw his head back in laughter. "If Ashley and Spencer disappear just assume their in Hawii, sun bathing and eating lobster."

"This isn't joke!"

"It should be. You're overreacting. I know Spencer's family, and let me tell you, they are not the strictest Christians. Paula has at least a dozen gay male friends, Arthur does his share of gambling, and her grandparents are the biggest alcoholics I've ever seen." He smiled. "Ashley will fit right in."

----------

_Blow my whistle bitch!_

Gray eyes snapped open to Ashley's loud ringtone.

_Blow my whistle bitch!_

The blonde looked down at Ashley's naked form. The rock star slept soundly on top of her, her arms hugging her tightly as she slept soundly on a naked breast. Spencer turned her head to the open window. The sunlight filled the room beautifully. Her hands came up and roamed over the expanse of her lover's naked back. She knew they'd have to get up soon. The band was scheduled to fly to New York sometime that morning. Staring at the falling snow, Spencer smiled at how exhausted she felt. Last night came to mind and the only sleep she got was the little naps in between lovemaking. Ashley was soft and loving one moment, and rough and demanding the next. The soreness she felt was worth every kiss, suck and second of the night.

_Blow my whistle bitch!_

Hearing the loud techno music, Ashley snuggled closer to Spencer and mumbled "Turn it off," sleepily. She was content lying in bed with her lover, getting up was the last thing she wanted to do. In the back of her mind she knew they had to get up and prepare for New York, she just chose to ignore the voice speaking and enjoy the warmth of the body under hers.

Spencer buried her hand in her hair and caressed the auburn locks, "How does beating Rachael to our front door sound?" She asked softly, staring down at her drowsy girlfriend. "Foreign." The rock star mumbled causing the blonde to chuckle. "Mmm speaking of foreign, I enjoyed all the Spanish last night." She blushed remembering Ashley's ragged voice speaking the language exotically. "Tell me something now."

Turning her head, Ashley kissed up her neck until she hovered over a sensitive ear, "Vamos a la playa," Her voice was low and husky, sending a shiver down the blonde's spine. "A mí me gusta bailar, el ritmo de la noche." She opened her eyes and lifted her upper body. "How was that?" She asked staring into gray eyes.

"That was amazing." Spencer praised caressing her face. "What did you say?"

Ashley grinned. "Lets go to the beach, I really like to dance to the rhythm at night. Not too romantic but the song has a catchy tune." She dipped her head and kissed the corner of her lips. "I'll play it for you sometime, maybe next time we go to the beach." She mumbled against her skin.

Spencer wrapped her arms around her and held her close. "I just hope it's nothing like your ringtone." She sighed playfully. "Really Ashley, 'Blow my whistle bitch?' How can you listen to that?"

Ashley stared down at her. "It's not on my Ipod or anything, I just thought it'd be great for when Sammy calls." She smiled a little. "And I may like it a teeny bit." She rolled her eyes. "Okay and it is on my Ipod, but I lost my Ipod so I really doesn't matter-"

"Ashley." Spencer interrupted cupping the back of her head. "Just shut up and kiss me." She murmured with a smile, her hand bringing Ashley's head down. The rock star easily complied and allowed their lips to meet. Spencer's hand came around and sensually caressed her face as her lips parted, deepening the kiss. "Baby I have to talk to you about something." She said when the kiss ended.

Ashley immediately sobered up at her lover's serious expression. "What's wrong?" She asked calmly, keeping the alarm out of her voice. She didn't want Spencer to see the nervousness she was feeling, thinking it would stop her lover from speaking her mind.

Spencer saw the panic in her eyes and immediately eased her mind. "It's nothing bad, I just have to ask you something."

Ashley noticeably relaxed as she continued gazing into her lover's eyes. "Go ahead, you can ask me anything."

"Alright," The blonde reached up and began nervously playing with her bangs. "You know the tour isn't going to last much longer," Ashley nodded her understanding." What's going to happen when it's over?"

The question took the rock star by surprise and she couldn't answer right away. She hadn't given any thought to what would happen after the tour ended. She didn't know where she wanted to go or who she wanted to hangout with. And then there was Spencer. Surely the blonde would want to go back to Ohio and see her family/friends. Where would that leave her? "What do you want to happen?"

Spencer didn't hesitate answering. "I want you to come back home with me." She saw the surprise etched clearly in brown eyes and added, "Just for a few days. After that, we can go back to L.A. and work on the beach house."

"You want to take me back to Ohio? To meet your mother, father, and everyone else related to you?" She asked taken aback and continued at Spencer's nod. "Don't you think that's crazy? Spencer I'm a cocaine addicted lesbian who hasn't spent a vacation sober in 2 years. Taking me home would be-"

"A dream come true." Spencer cut in softly. "Ashley I don't see you like that and I know parents won't either." She gazed lovingly into confused brown eyes as her fingers stroked her auburn locks. "You're really sweet and caring," needy and vulnerable. "And my parents will adore you. Especially since you cook and play guitar."

"Cook and play guitar?"

"Yep." Spencer chuckled. "My Dad loves to play and my mother loves to cook. I promise you everything will be alright."

Ashley took everything into consideration and believed the blonde when she said everything will be okay. But there was something else bothering her. "If I do go with you, what will you introduce me as?"

Spencer's hand dropped as soon as the words left the rock star's mouth. She hadn't given that much thought. She couldn't walk through the door and bluntly introduce Ashley as her girlfriend. Her mother would freak out and her Dad would grab his gun. Plus, she still needed to drop the bomb about her spit up with Aiden. Suddenly, the thought of brining Ashley home was overwhelming. "Would it bother you to just be my very best friend?" She asked hopefully. "It's not that I don't want them to know about us, I'm just not ready and-"

"I understand." Ashley said honestly. "And it wouldn't kill me to go as your very best friend." She smiled a little.

Spencer visibly relaxed. "Good. So you'll come home with me?"

Ashley didn't want to answer right away not knowing what kind of schedule she'd have after the tour. The strange thing about her field of work was one day she could be off and the next, on a plane to England doing some stupid radio show. "Can I get back at you with that? I really need to think about this."

Spencer's shoulders slumped a little at the answer but she agreed. If Ashley needed time to think things over then she was going to give it to her with no questions asked or any complaints. "That's fine Baby."

A knock at the door interrupted the couple.

"Rachael." Ashley groaned collapsing against the blonde.

Spencer patted the skin on her upper back sympathetically. "Time to get up."

----------

Having showered, dressed, and kissed; the couple walked out of their suite and headed toward the elevator. Ashley walked in wearing a black tight fitting trench coat, white scarf, light blue jeans, and white vans slip ons. She took her lover's hand and then pushed the lobby button. Spencer stared down at their hands and then looked back up at Ashley. She stood patiently staring at the wall. "How are your hands feeling?" She asked softly with a hint of concern.

Ashley glanced at her and then shrugged a little. "They still hurt but the pain is bearable." She tightened the grip on their intertwined fingers before releasing her lover's soft hand. Looking away, she crossed her arms over her chest as an easy silence fell over them. Spencer understood Ashley's actions. They couldn't be seen holding hands in public.

Reaching out, she rubbed her upper arm soothingly. "I love you." She said as the elevator doors opened.

Ashley flashed her a small smile as her arm dropped. "Me too."

Hearing the active lobby, the rock star turned her head. Her eyes scanned the room as she stepped out of the elevator. People were everywhere but the room was large enough to accommodate everyone comfortably. Like all the other hotels, there was a nice restaurant and they were serving breakfast. Ashley immediately looked to her left and noticed the gray eyes staring hungrily at the food place. "You want to get something to eat?"

Spencer met her gaze with a light blush. "If it's not too much trouble."

Ashley shrugged. "It's fine." She pulled out her cell phone and began texting Rachael as they walked into the restaurant. The waitress didn't have time to seat them before a male voice called out to them.

"Spencer! Ashley! Over here!" Ashley snapped her phone shut and lifted her head. Her gaze immediately fell on Aiden. He sat next to Darcey in a booth. Feeling a hand on her arm, Ashley was guided to Aiden's booth by Spencer. They all exchanged quiet greetings as Ashley and Spencer took their seats. "Wow, first time I see you with a scarf. What's the special occasion?" Aiden asked looking at Spencer.

There was a teasing glimmer in his eyes, Ashley didn't miss it. "It's cold outside Aiden." The rock star smiled a little. "Spencer doesn't want to catch a cold. It's not like she's hiding anything." She added with a shrug, looking over to view the predictable blush over her lover's face.

Aiden chuckled eyeing the rock star's white scarf. It covered every inch of skin on her neck. "Are you preventing a cold too Ashley? It looks like you over did yours a little bit."

Darcey sat watching the exchange with little interest. Ashley still bothered her, just being in her air space was disgusting, but she had to admit the scarf she wore was both fashionable and warm looking. "How much did that cost?" She asked meeting brown eyes.

Ashley's eyes flickered over to her as she fought back a sigh. What was up with her and money? The rock star found it disturbing and annoying. "It's Dolce & Gabbana and cost me about 300 dollars." She answered easily. "Did you order yet?" Ashley asked Aiden, ignoring the glare his girlfriend was giving her.

The tall man shook his head. "Waitress just took our drink orders." He eyed the glass of water in front of him. "And left us water."

"Oh gimme." Spencer reached out and grabbed the cool glass. Bringing it up to her lips, she drank the water greedily.

Ashley wasn't bothered by the scene. She didn't care if Spencer drank after Aiden, but looking at the girl sitting across from her, she noticed the appalled look on Darcey's face. She had to smile a little. "Water good here?" Ashley coolly asked her girlfriend, watching her set the glass down near Aiden.

Spencer opened her mouth to answer, but then shut it when Darcey grabbed the glass and placed it in front of her. "Get new water Denny." The brunette met Spencer's gaze somewhat angrily. "You can finish that."

"Don't be a bitch." Ashley hissed fed up with the brunette. Her tone did not sit well with the rock star, especially since she was using it toward her lover. "They've been sharing drinks since elementary school, stop overreacting."

Darcey's eyes narrowed into angry slits. "Don't tell me what to do! I'm not one of your little workers!"

"Thank God." Ashley mumbled knowing the brunette would be a bigger pain in the ass than AJ.

"Calm down Darcey." Aiden quietly begged.

Ashley's eyes left them and focused on Spencer. The blonde was watching Darcey with confusion. Reaching down, Ashley placed a hand on her thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry about her." She said near her ear, too quiet for anyone else to hear. "She just wants attention."

Spencer nodded and sighed her relief when the waiter chose that moment to arrive. He was a tall brown haired blue eyed man with tray in his hand. "How are you guys this morning?" He asked glancing between Spencer and Ashley.

"Fine." The two girls answer in unison. The waiter nodded as he set down Aiden's orange juice and Darcey's chocolate milk. "And what can I get you Ms. Davies?" He asked the rock star first, pulling out a small notebook.

Ashley was used to strangers addressing her by her name. "Coffee." She answered easily.

The waiter wrote down the order and then met Spencer's gaze. "And you Spencer- I mean Ms. Carlin."

Spencer smiled at the young man who apologized quickly. "Don't worry about it. I would like some orange juice please."

Nodding, He straightened up and left everyone menus. "I'll be back in a little bit. I recommend any of the omelets, their amazing here."

Spencer thanked the waiter and then focused her attention on Aiden and Darcey. They both had sullen expression on their faces. She felt guilty for starting their little fight by drinking Aiden's water. She hadn't really thought about it, Ashley was right when she said they had been sharing drinks since elementary school. It just came natural to reach out and share Aiden's drink. "I apologize Darcey, it was rude of me to take your boyfriend's water like that." She said sincerely into dark brown eyes.

Ashley rolled her eyes at the exchange.

Darcey ignored the rock star completely and visibly relaxed. "No Spencer, It's fine, I think I just over reacted a little-" Ashley snorted at the statement, causing her to pause, again she ignored the 17 year old and continued speaking. "I'm sorry for being so stupid. I'm just not used to seeing you act so…friendly towards Denny."

"Denny?" Ashley mouthed to the blushing man, an amused smile spread over her lips, matching laughing brown eyes.

Aiden glared at her and mouthed back 'Shut up.'

"I'll take it down a notch." Spencer playfully replied.

"Thank you." Darcey replied satisfied.

"Ashley how are you feeling about tonight?" Aiden asked over Spencer and Darcey's conversation. "Last show in New York. It's going to be wild. Kent said something about a party afterward."

Ashley leaned back in the booth and then crossed one leg over the other. "I can't wait for this tour to end." She thought back to the message she sent Rachael and smiled. "Do you know if Samantha's going to be there?"

Aiden shook his head. "Kent doesn't mention her much. He doesn't want any of us to get any ideas." He shrugged. "It'd be kind of awkward sleeping with the boss' daughter."Spencer looked up from her menu and met Aiden's gaze with surprised eyes. Ashley kind of looked away, somewhat embarrassed as she played with her bangs. Aiden finally caught on and immediately apologized. "Sorry, I forgot that's kind of your situation." He told Spencer, chuckling nervously.

"It's fine." Spencer waved it off uneasily. Looking at Ashley, she realized that was her situation. She was sleeping with the boss' daughter. Ashley met her gaze and smiled briefly at her. Spencer reached under the table and took her tanned hand into her lap, meeting Darcey's gaze, she initiated conversation as their fingers intertwined.

Ashley tuned them out, finding everything Darcey said annoying, and flipped through her menu using one hand. She wasn't really hungry, but decided to pick something out anyway. Spencer was going to make her eat regardless of her complaining. She decided to get something simple, no eggs, nothing greasy, and absolutely no meat, that left her with pancakes or waffles.

The waiter came around again and gave everyone their drinks. After that, he took everyone's orders and collected the menus. Spencer ordered a big steak breakfast, Aiden got a ham and cheese omelet, Darcey got chocolate waffles, and Ashley ordered 1 pancake with no fruit, syrup, or whip crème. The waiter glanced strangely at her but she didn't care. The plain pancake was going to be hard enough to keep down, extra sugar was the last thing her stomach she needed.

The light conversation starting again as Ashley leaned her head against the wall. Her eyes closed as she listened to everyone talk. The topic of discussion was Darcey's home town and Ashley could have careless. She focused more on the thumb stroking her skin than the annoying brunette's words. The more the brunette spoke, the more Ashley wanted to go deaf. Almost everything that came out of her mouth revolved around money. Ashley didn't understand her obsession. It was stupid and meaningless.

The rock star felt herself start to doze off and didn't bother fighting it. The words around her started to fade as she fell into a light slumber.

"Ashley."

Her eyes snapped open as she jerked awake. "Hmm?" She hummed looking incoherently into gray eyes. Following Spencer's finger, Ashley stared down at the small plate with her pancake. It wasn't very appetizing, turning her head, she stared into Spencer's eyes again. "Please don't make me eat." She whispered softly. "I'm not hungry Spencer."

Spencer stared apologetically into her pleading eyes. "I'm sorry Baby, but you didn't eat anything yesterday. You're body needs food Ashley."

Sighing, Ashley nodded and began picking at her food. She took smaller bites and swallowed them down with her coffee. It was hard to not gag, Ashley didn't understand why eating was so hard for her. She assumed it was the cocaine and wondered if she was ever going to be normal again. "I'm done." She announced after eating half of the pancake.

Ignoring everyone else in the room, Spencer leaned over and kissed her cheek softly. "Thank you." She murmured near her ear.

Ashley nodded and then leaned against the wall again. Spencer, Aiden and Darcey continued talking as she took another nap. Feeling the blonde caress her hand, she fell asleep with a content smile.

----------

The flight to New York City was uneventful. Ashley slept the whole way while Spencer read quietly next to her. The trip was comfortable and the walk through the airport wasn't so hectic. Ashley immediately collapsed in the corner of the limo, intent on sleeping more, but wasn't able to shut her eyes with her lover jumping from one side of the car to the other. It was amusing to watch, Ashley found it adorable how she moved from window to window jut to gaze at the amazing city.

Staring out the window, she also watched New York City pass by. It was snowing and cold, but that didn't take away from the City's marvelous appearance. She felt a body settle next to hers and then turned her head. She smiled at the awe look etched over Spencer's face. "Are you enjoying yourself?" She asked with a soft chuckle.

Spencer met her gaze and nodded. "This is amazing." She enthused staring out the window again.

"Maybe I'll take you around after we get settled in the hotel."

Spencer's head snapped in her direction. "Really?"

Ashley nodded. "Really. We'll do whatever you want to."

Spencer smiled widely as she tackled her loved down in a fierce hug. "Oh this is going to be so great." She said looking down at the grinning rock star. She leaned forward and kissed her lips firmly.

"Come on you two."

Spencer pulled back and looked up at Glen. "Sorry." She apologized blushing.

Both teens sat up and straightened up in their seats. They held hands while staring out the widow, not saying a word, they enjoyed their closeness and the scenery in silence.

They arrived at the hotel minutes later and then exited the limo. Ashley and Spencer didn't spend much time in their suite. They stayed for 20 minutes to allow the blonde to explore every room. The oohs and ahhs that left her lips could be heard in various places of the suite. They didn't bother Ashley as she stood in the living area texting Rachael of their plans. She only had a couple of hours before the band was scheduled to be at the concert hall.

Ashley closed her phone and placed it in one of her coat's pockets. "Pretty nice huh?" The rock star asked the approaching blonde.

Spencer wrapped her arms around her and kissed her softly. "It's gorgeous."

"As expected." Ashley said caressing her face. "We have to get going, we're on a tight schedule."

They kissed a final time and then left their suite.

Ashley walked outside and ignored the cold as she walked over to the tall Indian man. It was roscoe. The tall bodyguard stood next to a smaller black car that was parked behind the limo. "You don't mind coming with us, right?" She asked as Spencer entered the long limo.

Roscoe shook his head. "It is my job."

Ashley smirked. "Well we might go shopping and you know how that is. I don't want anything we buy in the limo with us," She glanced at his car and then met his gaze. "Put everything in yours, Okay?"

The tall bodyguard nodded.

"Thank you." Ashley turned around and then entered the limo with her lover.

Ashley didn't have much time to show Spencer everything NYC had to offer so told the driver to take them to time square. They spent the first hour just looking at everything. The buildings were amazing, monuments gorgeous, and the food they had was worth the amount of money they paid for it. "Now it gets fun." Ashley dragged her blonde lover into one of her father's favorite stores. He was good friends with one of the men that owned it. At first glance, the rock star could tell the place was expensive.

Spencer didn't seem to notice. She walked in and looked at everything with ease. Shirts, dresses, jeans; it was like she was shopping at Wal-Mart. Ashley looked over at the ladies behind the counter. Walking over to them, she flashed them a brief smile before speaking. "I want one of you to take anything you think my friend likes and charge it to this." She handed them a gold card and one of the ladies immediately agreed and began following Spencer around.

Gray eyes were wide as she stared at the price tags for a lot of the clothing. Just plain looking jeans started at 300 dollars. The dresses were also outrageously priced. They were all gorgeous, but some of them ran for thousands of dollars. "Don't you just love that?" The manager of the store asked her for the hundredth time that hour.

Spencer looked over at her and stared confusedly at the amount of clothes she was caring. The blonde had no idea what she was doing but didn't question it. She assumed it was NYC culture. "It's very nice." She looked at the price tag of the dress and read the 5,900 price tag. "But too expensive."

The manager chewed on the inside of her cheek, "If you had all the money in the world would you get it?"

Spencer eagerly nodded. "Look at it! It's completely gorgeous." The blonde moved on and looked around for Ashley, not seeing the manager take the dress and add it to her pile.

Ashley smiled at the blonde and wrapped an arm around her. "Are you ready?" The blonde nodded and Ashley released her. "Alright, give me a second."

Ashley walked back over to the front desk and left her driver's license. "My bodyguard will be back here to pick everything up." She grabbed a pen and wrote down her pin number. "Thank you." She turned and walked out of the store with Spencer, giving Roscoe the okay to go in the store and get her things.

They entered the limo again, knowing their two hours was over with, and headed toward the concert hall. The couple lied on a long seat, cuddling while talking softly to one another. Ashley held her girlfriend close as she talked about everything she enjoyed in time square. The rock star herself didn't say much, she was content with listening to Spencer's voice.

----------

The sound check was fun for everyone for once. Ashley switched it up a bit and took the drums while Clay played guitar. The rock star overdid it a couple of times, trying to show off, but never sounded bad. Spencer smiled at her every time she threw in a solo, Glen rolled his eyes, and Clay glared. Ashley ignored everyone and just focused on the sticks in her hands. She knew how to play drums, she just played guitar better. "I think we should switch jobs." She breathlessly spoke into the microphone. Clay immediately shook his head and tried to play a chord right. Ashley cringed at the attempt. "Nevermind."

"It's amazing how easy Ashley lets go of things." AJ snickered from the other end of the stage. "One second she loves playing guitar, the next she's on drums." His eyes flickered over to Spencer and he smiled at her down casted eyes.

"Totally." Ashley smirked against the microphone, her eyes solely on her cousin. "Like one second AJ's our driver, the next, he's working at McDonalds."

The driver frowned. "You want to step outside big shot?" He demanded raising his voice, further widening Ashley's smirk. "I'll show you whose big then." Ashley responded by throwing a drum stick at him.

"Stop it." Glen hissed trying to stop the angry driver from reaching the drum set. "You want security to drag your ass out of here?"

AJ backed off and glared at his grinning cousin. "Fuck you!"

"What's wrong?" Spencer asked approaching the upset man. She had taken her bass guitar off after watching him go after Ashley. She sighed when she had looked over at Ashley's smiling face. She obviously enjoyed AJ's anger.

The driver looked at the blonde and immediately began bitching. "Pops! He's he's-"

"Giving me more money than you." Ashley announced through the microphone, annoyed by AJ's stuttering. Her cousin seriously had to go, he was worst than a crying child. "It's not my fault," She added. "I'm not the one writing his will."

"You Bitch! You don't deserve anything from him! You don't even give a fuck that he's dying!"

Everyone within earshot was staring at him. The words were starting to confuse people. Ashley sat staring calmly at AJ, she didn't care if he exposed the true nature of her relationship with Pops. She was tired of lying to people.

"Dying?" Glen asked AJ, confusion written all over his face.

Ashley stared at him and realization struck, he had no idea. She looked around the room and noticed the same thing. No one knew her father was sick. She felt uncomfortable having AJ tell them without Pops consent. It was his business, not AJ's. "Pops is fine." She announced firmly as her eyes shifted to AJ. "Just leave, you're acting stupid."

AJ's anger dissipated as he stared into his cousin's brown eyes. If he didn't know any better, he'd guess Ashley was protecting Pops. That took him by surprise. Glancing over at Spencer, he relaxed a bit and then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." He told the blonde. "I'll be leaving now." He told the rest of the band. "Don't mind me. I was just angry, bad day." He said as he walked toward the exit, remembering the phone call he had gotten from Pops. He was leaving Ashley a lot more than she deserved. He paused at the drum set and leaned toward Ashley. "You're getting his strip clubs," He loved the way her eye's widened; surely Ashley couldn't stay faithful owning a strip club. The place was full of hot chicks and cocaine. "But don't get too excited, he has to die first." He hissed before walking away, leaving Ashley to her heavy thinking.

----------

Ashley stood playing the last song of the night. Her mind was on another planet as her fingers moved over the strings. Her eyes noticed the crowd, but didn't really see them. Her craving were also bad, she had messed up the song twice from her trembling hands. It was strange since cocaine was the last thing on her mind. Her body needed the drug, but her mind was finished with it. Her eyes flickered over to Spencer and she watched the blonde play. She could tell by the glimmer in her eyes that she loved playing, she wondered if she would miss it once the tour ended. "Gasping as your lungs give out," She spoke softly into the microphone and then stepped away once Glen started screaming.

Her thoughts died once it was time for a solo. She stared out into the crowd with a smile as her fingers moved insanely over the strings, making the red Gibson sing, the end of the solo was exaggerated, It was fierce and mind blowing, jut the way Ashley wanted to end the last show of the tour. "Thank you New York." She breathlessly told the screaming kids throwing picks into the crowd as the lights went crazy, flicking on and off, changing colors, and then finally, brightening to highlight the band's exit.

Ashley was covered from head to toe in sweat when she left the stage. The rock star scanned the dark back stage room for her lover. With a racing heart, she rushed over to her and took her hand, whisking her away from the man she was talking to. "Ashley!" Spencer called out when the rock star led her out the room.

Ashley turned her head and met her gray eyes, "Trust me." She said rushing them through the building, they were both running, Ashley smiling as she ran and Spencer laughing from the rush. Spencer was enjoying every second of Ashley's smile. She'd catch a glimpse of it every time she turned her head to call out 'sorry' to some innocent by stander.

Finally, Ashley reached the exit and pulled her lover out into the cold with her. They were both breathing hard, their breaths easily seen under the cold clear New York sky. It was lightly snowing all around them, the moon was their only light, casting a beautiful shadow over them. Ashley placed her hands on Spencer's hips as her eyes expressed everything that coursed through veins. From fear to excitement.

Spencer felt Ashley pull her towards her and she went willingly, her heart pounding anxiously in her chest as she waited for Ashley's next move. Their foreheads touched and their breaths embraced as their heavy breathing filled the silent air around them. "I have a surprise for you." Ashley whispered softly. "Open my vest and look in the left pocket." She quietly commanded.

Spencer pulled back a little and met her gaze curiously. At Ashley's small nod, the blonde looked at the rock star's vest and began unbuttoning it. It was a thin black vest with a white rose printed on the right side of it, It was worn over her naked skin. Spencer parted it and dug in the left pocket. Confused, She looked up at Ashley when her fingers brushed over paper and then stared down at her hand when she freed the two documents. She examined it and realized they were plane tickets. Two plane tickets. Her whole face lit up when she met Ashley's grinning face. Her brown eyes were vibrant and full of joy. "You're coming!" She tackled the rock star into an eager hug, laughing as they fell into the snow.

Spencer stared down at her and began caressing her face softly, their eyes smiling as they bore into one another intensely. "You'll really come back home with me?" She breathed needing to hear the words leave her lover's lips.

"Yes." Ashley answered confidently. "We're going to Ohio Spencer."

**Sequel sooner or later X)**


End file.
